Knowing the Difference
by steenbeans
Summary: Post S3. Told from multiple perspectives, but the heart of the story is the relationship between Logan & Veronica. More character driven than plot driven, but I threw in a few mysteries for fun.  Enjoy!
1. Veronica I

**Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or any of the characters created by Rob Thomas & friends. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.**

**Chapter 1**

Veronica

_I shouldn't have had that third cup of coffee_, Veronica thought as her leg jittered against her airplane seat. _It's bad enough being trapped in here _without_ the added caffeine. Alcohol would have made a lot more sense. A downer, not an upper. And I shouldn't have left my fake ID home. As if the feds were going to search me and send me packing. I'm getting paranoid in my old age._

She looked down at her watch again. Her plane had landed over fifteen minutes ago. _What's the hold up? _She just wanted to get off the plane, she felt like she couldn't breathe. Veronica wasn't a big fan of enclosed spaces. Her leg continued to shake. She ignored the dirty look of the old woman seated next to her, who had spent the entire flight circling items in the _Sky Mall_ magazine.

Bored with the novel she was reading, Veronica had decided to surreptitiously watch her and try and predict which items she would circle next. _Will it be the Elephant-head candle holder or the orthopedic dog bed? Haha, the Elephant-head, I knew it!_ Veronica had gotten pretty good at it by the time they'd landed. The only major surprise was the voice-activated R2D2. _What the hell is she going to do with that? Maybe she has a grandson._

Finally, the pilot's voice came over the speaker, welcoming them all to Neptune and thanking them for choosing to fly _American Airlines_. Veronica grabbed her backpack and purse, and headed for the terminal. As she stepped out of the passageway, she suddenly felt incredibly overwhelmed. _I'm back, Neptune. Be nicer to me this time around, will ya?_

"There's my girl!"

Before she had time to feel too sorry for herself, her dad caught her in an enormous bear hug and lifted her off the ground. Suddenly, she felt a lot better. "Hey, Dad," she said into his collar, not even minding that he was making a spectacle of himself.

He let her go and looked at her with what Veronica thought of as his "sheriff" expression. "You're too skinny. Didn't they feed you there?"

"Oh, I ate," she assured him, laughing.

"I like your hair."

"Thanks."

"You ready to hit the road? There's a certain pit bull who's been moping around all summer, who just _may_ want to see you." He reached down and grabbed Veronica's backpack for her, and they started for the baggage claim.

"So how's business?" she asked, trying to hide her discomfort. After her father had lost the election, he'd been forced to go back into the PI business. Veronica knew that she was responsible for that, and she knew that _he_ knew. _At least I did what I could to make it up to him. I had to make a deal with the devil to get the charges dropped. But you don't know about that, and you never will._

"Booming!" her dad answered. "Being the only game in town has its perks. I even had to hire help."

"Really?" Veronica asked, surprised. "Who did you hire?"

Keith just smiled at her. "You'll see."

"Oh right, because I just _love_ surprises," she said, stepping onto the escalator next to her father. She turned to him, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows.

Keith just chuckled to himself. Veronica searched his face, just as she had every day after she'd read about the charges against him; looking for any sign that he was angry with her, or disappointed in her. _Nothing. In fact, he seems happier than ever_. As they stepped off the escalator, Veronica decided to test the waters.

"I have to start packing, like, the second we get home," she said nonchalantly. "I only have a week to get everything together."

"I'll help. Don't worry, honey, we'll get it done."

"Thanks. Mac e-mailed me a list of stuff we still need. I'm going to meet her tomorrow to go shopping." Veronica hesitated, still watching her dad carefully. They had arrived at the baggage claim, and Keith stared intently at the conveyor belt, looking for Veronica's suitcases.

"Dad, are you sure you're okay with this? Because if you want, I-"

Her father turned to look at her and put his hand on her arm. "Honey, we've talked about this. I'll be fine. I _am_ an adult, in case you've forgotten." He smiled warmly. "With your course load this semester, and your job at the library, moving on campus just makes more sense."

"Yeah," she said unconvincingly. She hated thinking about him all alone in the apartment.

Keith laughed. "Relax. We'll see each other every Sunday for dinner. And if you miss me during the week, I may be able to pencil you in for the occasional lunch, too. So, tell me more about the internship. Did they sell you on the joys of becoming a government employee?"

She shrugged. "They certainly tried."

"Not buying into the propaganda?" he teased.

"I don't know. It was definitely interesting. It gave me a lot to think about. Got a couple of new tricks up my sleeves, got to meet some people that I can namedrop the next time I'm arrested."

"That's my girl," he replied fondly. "Always looking ahead."

**xxXxx**

"Okay, the state of the kitchen is a little appalling, frankly. I mean I know this is your bachelor pad now, but can you at least take out the recycling from time to time? It looks like you threw a kegger here last night," Veronica said, emptying the remaining soda out of a can and into the sink.

"Nah, just a little get together with me and a couple of my Pi Sig buddies. Don't be such a square, man." Keith took the empty from her and tossed it into the recycling bin.

Veronica looked at her father, eyes suddenly welling up. "Dad, seriously, thinking about you being here all alone…"

"Actually Veronica, I wanted to talk to you about that. Can you sit with me for a minute?" Keith gestured to one of the bar stools at the kitchen island. Veronica sat, looking at her dad a bit warily. _Is this it? Is he finally going to yell at me for costing him his job? _She felt almost relieved.

"Alicia and I are dating again. And it's serious."

"Huh?" _Wasn't expecting that_ at all.

"We actually ran into each other when she was dropping Wallace off at the airport. I had to catch a flight to El Paso, and- well anyway. We've been seeing each other all summer. I didn't want to tell you over the phone. I'm sorry to drop this on you now; I know you've got a lot on your plate. So…" he studied his daughters face, looking for her reaction.

"Wow. That's… unexpected. But, that's actually great. I really like Alicia. I'm glad that you have someone who makes you happy," she said genuinely. "Wait a minute, is this the big secret that Wallace has been tormenting me with for the last two weeks?"

Keith laughed. "Darrell spilled it to him, like, the _second_ he got back from Africa. He's been gloating for weeks that he knew something that you didn't."

"Oh, he better watch out. I can't _believe_ he didn't tell me."

"I can't either, to be honest. So, if you can stomach being away from your boyfriend one more night, Alicia invited us to dinner tonight. I'd really like you to go, but if you're uncomfortable or you need some time, that's ok too," Keith said.

_My boyfriend. Piz._ Veronica felt slightly relieved at the thought that she may not be meeting up with him tonight after all, followed immediately by surprise at her own reaction. _I do want to see him._ _Of_ course _I want to see him_. She glanced back at her father, who was waiting patiently for a response. "A home cooked meal sounds fantastic, actually. Plus, I can slip the poison into Wallace's mashed potatoes and no one will ever suspect it was me," she added in a singsong voice.

**xxXxx**

Piz had been disappointed to hear their plans to meet for dinner and a movie had changed, but he said he understood and Veronica knew that he did. She decided that the relief that she'd felt earlier was a response to her own insecurities about where her relationship with Piz stood. The end of the previous semester had been pretty… intense. And although they'd talked, things felt far from resolved. At least, for her…

_Veronica suggests they eat outside, on one of the picnic tables in front of the food court, to avoid the aftermath of the fight. They sit down and make quiet small talk for a few minutes, she has no idea what about. Her mind is a million miles away._

_Piz clears his throat and says, picking his words carefully, "Listen, I feel like I have to ask you what was up with you and Logan. Back in the cafeteria. I mean, I get that he beat up the guy who made the tape of us. Or at least," he chuckles, "the guy who Logan happens to be accusing _today-"

_Veronica quietly interjects, "He was the one who did it."_

"_So what I really want to ask you is… what was up with the way you were looking at him?" Piz searches her expression. "I mean, I know he's still in love with you, Veronica. That's abundantly clear. But the way you looked at him…" he trails off and looks down at his food._

_Veronica hasn't processed this yet. She doesn't know how to answer because she doesn't understand it all herself. She feels a number of emotions. Fear for Logan, pride that he's so fearless, anger for the careless way he put his life in danger, confusion about her own primal reaction to him defending her honor… She wants to be honest with Piz, but she's not sure how._

_She takes a deep breath and begins. "It's so hard to explain, especially to you. Because he beat you up, and you hate him. I've known him for so long. It's an understatement to say that we've been through a lot together. I guess what you saw, was maybe… me understanding some things about him that I didn't before."_

"_Understanding that he's insanely violent?" His usually pleasant voice is edged with anger._

"_No. I mean, he is, sometimes, but it comes from a place of him wanting to protect the people that he cares about." Veronica takes another deep breath. She realizes that she's babbling, but she's trying to work everything out. "I've been really hard on him all year, and I think, what you saw was me realizing that I've changed, and maybe not for the better. I'd say, definitely not for the better."_

_Veronica is almost speaking to herself at this point, musing on her behavior over the past few months. What she's thinking is that looking at Logan in that moment was a little like looking into a mirror. Except the mirror reflected, not her own image, but her true self back to her. Her true self, not the persona that she so convincingly projects to the world. _

_She'd known instantly that Logan had seen it too. And no one should know you that well. The intensity of that moment has her reeling, her mind in a million places at once. She feels off balance, naked. Much more exposed than she was on the video that more than half the campus saw. She's a little unaware that Piz is there, for a minute. But when she focuses back on him, he looks confused, and a little hurt. She carefully puts her mask back in place._

"_I'm sorry if none of this makes sense. It's kind of impossible for me to explain eight years of history." Veronica knows that she's not being 100% truthful, but her emotions are too raw to even understand at the moment, let alone explain. She takes his hand. "Please don't dwell on it. I'm with you. And I really care about you."_

_He feels the honesty of that last statement. He nods and squeezes her hand. "Well, okay then."_

After that, it had been kind of a whirlwind, between finals and getting ready for her trip to Virginia. On top of that, she was actively trying to avoid campus (and Logan) which inadvertently meant seeing less of Piz. She was confused about Logan. She was confused by her reaction to him. She was desperately trying to hold onto her anger towards him, but she wasn't sure why it was so important that she stay mad at him. She wasn't even sure what it was that she was supposed to be mad at him _for_, anymore. _So I did what I do best. I avoided him. I avoided everyone._ Before she'd really known what was happening, or had even had proper time to process everything, she was on a plane to Virginia.

When she had time to really think about it all, alone at night, she finally saw the truth. She was still in love with Logan. And she always would be.

But with that knowledge brought the realization that she couldn't be with him. There was too much pain, too much resentment that she just couldn't move past. And she was different now. Harder. She needed to be hard to face what life had thrown her way. He was part of what had made her tougher. But somehow, he was also the only one who still made her vulnerable. Vulnerability, in Veronica's world, was weakness. And she couldn't leave herself open to the pain. Not anymore.

She understood that she would have to end things with Piz. It wouldn't be fair to him to try and continue their relationship, not when her heart belonged to someone else. But just as she'd come to this conclusion, she'd gotten a text message from him.

_Well I woke up in the city that never sleeps. And it turns out I really am king of the hill. Top of the heap! Hope they're not working you too hard. Miss you._

Veronica smiled. He was such a good guy, he really was. He was very… uncomplicated. She always felt relaxed and comfortable with him. _He's kind, he says what he's thinking, he's funny, _she mused_._ She genuinely cared about him. And if what they had together lacked the intensity of, well, _other_ relationships, that was ok. The intensity and passion was what ultimately caused all of the pain. Without it, she was safe. Her heart was safe.

_Maybe, if I hang in there for once instead of running away, I can make this work. _She paused for a moment and then typed her reply.

_Glad to hear your little town blues are melting away. Miss you too._

And just like that, they'd fallen into an easy routine. They couldn't speak on the phone too often, because Piz was mostly working nights at Pitchfork and she was strictly 9 to 5. But they sent each other frequent text messages and e-mails, and he entertained her with stories about the crazy New Yorkers he'd met. Before she knew it, she was making plans to meet him for dinner at _Mama Leone's_ when she got back to Neptune.

**xxXxx**

Dinner at the Fennel house had turned out to be a lot of fun. The noisy, relaxed atmosphere was a nice change from the austere offices at Quantico. Wallace told them all about the work he'd done in Uganda, and about some of the kids that he'd befriended over the summer. Darrell showed Veronica his new _Nintendo DS_, and explained how he could take a picture of someone and make it look like they were wearing a funny pink wig. Keith gamely volunteered to have his picture taken, and they all got a kick out of the results.

After dinner, Veronica got up to help Alicia with the dishes. "Thank you so much, that was delicious."

Alicia smiled at her. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Your dad thought you might like a home cooked meal when you got back."

"What can I say, the man knows me," she joked. Everything felt so easy, so comfortable. She'd really missed feeling like she belonged somewhere. "Really," she said, "it's so nice to be around family again."

Alicia caught her true meaning, but didn't make a fuss. She just smiled kindly at Veronica, took the empty water glass from her and said, "I can manage in here. Why don't you go catch up with Wallace."

Happy to avoid dish duty, she headed into the living room and flopped down onto the couch next to her best friend.

"So what's up, girl?" he asked. Like her, he seemed to be completely fine with the fact that their parents had reunited. It didn't seem necessary to talk about it. "Did you leave the FBI with any cases left to solve?"

"Nah, I took care of all of it for them. Found Amelia Earhart, Jimmy Hoffa, D.B. Cooper. Figured out where Atlantis is. I even found out who put the bop in the bop sh-bop sh-bop." She leaned back and put her hands behind her head. "All in a day's work."

Wallace laughed. "Word on the street is, 50 Cent put the bop back."

"Close."

He laughed again. "You all set for school?"

"Ha! Not even a little. I'm meeting Mac tomorrow to go stock up on goodies."

"I ran into her about a week ago. I guess her and Parker kinda threw down, huh?"

"I don't know if either of them actually threw any punches," Veronica laughed. "But yeah. Mac didn't get into specifics, but I got the distinct impression that it had something to do with me. I didn't want to pry."

"Yeah, I bet," Wallace snorted. "Veronica Mars, spreading sunshine and joy wherever she goes. Up high."

She high-fived him, shaking her head, but smiling. The truth was, she'd been dying to find out what had gone on between Mac and Parker. But trying to pry anything out of Mac when she didn't want to talk about it was as futile as a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. Veronica cleared her throat and said casually, "So, have you seen anyone?"

"Anyone meaning Piz? Or anyone meaning Logan?" he teased.

Veronica made a face at him. "Just… anyone we know."

"I've seen both of them."

Veronica waited expectantly, but he didn't continue. "You're killing me, Smalls."

Wallace grinned at her. "One of them asked me what time your plane was getting in, and the other one told me he met a six-fingered transvestite who offered to give him $100 if he let him paint his toenails. I'll let you figure out which is which."

She paused, looking thoughtful. "So what color are Piz's toenails?"

Wallace laughed. "It's good to have you back. It'll be nice to have you on campus this year."

_Campus. The place where I was laughed at and ridiculed for the last two weeks of the semester. The place where I already have more enemies than I ever did in high school. The place where I might run into…certain people that I'm not quite ready to see. _

She managed a small smile for Wallace. "It should be fun."

**xxXxx**

Veronica was in bed by 9 o'clock. To her, it felt like midnight, and she was exhausted. Yet she was having trouble falling asleep. She couldn't seem to quiet the thoughts running through her head.

It had been a tough year. Her first year at a new school, and she'd almost gotten raped, she'd gotten drugged (twice), broken up with Logan (twice), been videotaped without her knowledge (twice). She'd lost two more people from her life who she'd admired. And she'd lost another friend.

_Parker… I should feel worse about the fact that she's gone. She had a tough year too._ A memory of seeing Parker and Logan, sitting in the cafeteria and smiling at each other, flashed through her mind. And then another one, of Parker beaming like a little kid on Christmas morning, all because Logan had gotten her a birthday cake with a cheesy picture of the two of them on it. _That stupid cake. He seemed so sappy when he was with her. Or is the word happy? Admit it, Mars, that was the part that really stung. How could he be so happy with someone else, so soon after we…? He seemed like a normal teenaged boy when they were together. Smiling, holding hands. Just like he was with Hannah…_

_And then they asked me if I was okay with it. I mean what was I supposed to say, no? Of course not, Veronica, then you'd have to admit to having actual _emotions_ about something. Besides, I was still mad at him, for Madison._

_Ugh, why am I still thinking about this? I need to let it go. Logan deserves to be happy, and I just don't seem to be the person who makes him happy. Who am I kidding, if he'd gotten _me_ that cake I would have burst out laughing…and then spent the next hour looking for the hidden camera. We're just not good for each other. We bring out each other's destructive tendencies. I can be mature about this, and just stay away._

She thought she'd resolved all of this over the summer. Her internship had given her a lot of time to think. Aside from analyzing her relationship with Logan, she'd thought a lot about herself. What she'd discovered was that she wasn't as good of a person as she'd thought. She'd spent the past year jumping to the wrong conclusions about people, even people who she should have trusted.

Weevil would never have stolen Lilly's necklace from her. Why had she accused him? And then, the situation with Mercer… she'd blackmailed her own boyfriend instead of just believing him. _And the tape of me and Piz, no, I couldn't just let that go. And look at how well_ that _turned out_. _At least no one knew who I was in Virginia. No whispers, no suggestive looks. It was a nice change of pace…_

_Veronica sits on the edge of a black leather couch, flipping through a_ Time _magazine._ It's my first day, and I'm already getting called into the principal's office, _she thinks._

"_Miss Mars? Agent Daniels is ready for you."_

_Veronica stands up, walks to the door, and hesitantly opens it._

_A tall, bald, black man gets up from his seat and extends his hand for her to shake. "Miss Mars. Agent Daniels. Thanks for meeting with me. Please, have a seat." His voice is very deep. _

_She takes the offered seat and gives him a small smile, trying not to show how intimidated she is by him. She has absolutely no idea why she's been singled out for a meeting with one of the FBI's top agents._

"_You came very highly recommended by a number of people, Miss Mars. Including a very old and dear friend of mine, Mr. Clarence Weidman."_

_Veronica keeps her expression blank as her thoughts race._ Why would he call attention to me like that? Unless he thinks this will make things easier for me?

"_Wow, I'm honored that he thought to mention me," she says, her voice just slightly higher than normal to convey naivety. She falls into the part with ease; she's not even aware that she's doing it._

"_Clarence is a good man, and a good friend to have on your side. As loyal as they come."_

So loyal he'll even cover up a murder for you, if you ask nicely, _she thinks sarcastically. "Absolutely," is all she replies._

"_Really I just wanted to welcome you to the program, and ask you if there's anything we can do to make your stay here more comfortable?" He smiles benevolently at her._

_She thinks fast. She can't miss an opportunity to get something out of this meeting. "Actually," she begins, and she can tell Agent Daniels is surprised that she's speaking up, "is there any chance that I can go by the name Veronica Reynolds, while I'm here?"_

_Agent Daniels studies her in silence for a moment. She knows that he's well aware of her past, of course, and aware that a perceptive batch of interns will be familiar with the name Veronica Mars. But there's a speculative look on his face that says he may know more about her than she's realized_. What, exactly, has Clarence Weidman said about me?

_"I don't see why not," he finally replies. "I'll call down to admissions and have them make the change." He stands and holds out his hand once more. "It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Reynolds."_

The anonymity had been a blessing. Especially on one particular occasion…

_Veronica stands on line, toying absently with a button on her blouse as she thinks about what she'll have for lunch. The man in front of her finishes paying and she steps up to the counter._

"_What do you want?"_

"_Logan Echolls." _

_She can't help spinning around to see who said that. "Huh?"_

_It's Arianna Hayes, a fellow intern. She's standing in line behind her, flipping through a_ Star _magazine._ _She shakes her head. "He's at it again."_

_Veronica chooses a garden salad and a water, pays quickly and begins to leave the cafeteria. She doesn't want to hear what he's been up to. She'd avoided tabloids the whole time they'd dated. She would've driven herself crazy trying to figure out what was real and what was made up. _

_But her friend Becca sees her and says, "Hey, I saved you a seat." Becca moves her purse off the seat next to her._

_Veronica hesitates, but sits down. She's been lying low all summer, and she doesn't want anyone suspecting that this conversation makes her uncomfortable. Arianna sits down next to them with her magazine._

"_So, what'd he do this time?" Becca asks, gesturing to the tabloid._

"_Don't you mean 'who'?" Arianna counters, a sly smile on her lips._

"_That boy just can't keep it in his pants, can he?" _

"_I don't think anyone's complaining."_

_They both laugh. Veronica stabs a cucumber._

"_Yeah, there's all of these pictures of him partying his face off down in Cabo," Arianna says._

"_That kid is a mess, huh?" Becca states._

"_Oh yeah."_

"_But he's a hot mess."_

"_Oh yeah."_

_They both laugh again._

_Veronica sneaks a glance at the picture on the front cover. It's Dick and Logan, clinking together twin bottles of Jack, huge grins on both of their faces. They're on a beach somewhere, shirtless. The headline says "Party Boys". Veronica looks back down at her salad._

"_There's a story about his sister Trina in here too. Apparently she keyed Lindsay Lohan's car? Supposedly, it was caught on a security tape." Arianna rolls her eyes. "Fucked up family."_

"_Yeah, well, to be fair, I'd be pretty messed up too if my dad was a murderer," Becca says, a note of pity in her voice._

"_He's a spoiled brat," Arianna says dismissively. "People like him contribute nothing to society. I mean really, when is Logan_ Echolls _ever going to do anything useful?"_

"_Come on Ari, you can't believe everything you read. Besides, sometimes people will surprise you. What do you think, Veronica?" she asks._

Yeah, what do you think Veronica?

_She just shrugs, and stares at her salad. But she's lost her appetite._

Veronica didn't know too much about what Logan had been up to over the summer. Mac had mentioned in passing that he and Dick were out of the country. Aside from Mexico, she was pretty sure they'd traveled to Brazil and Costa Rica. Mac and Logan were keeping in touch so they could continue working on their business venture. Apparently, they'd decided to expand their franchise. Veronica could only guess what they'd want to have people "grade" next.

And then, of course, there was the text message she got from him for her birthday.

_Happy Birthday, Chuckles._

Such a little thing, but it made her smile. He'd remembered her birthday, and he was letting her know everything was okay with them. That thought gave her comfort, and she finally drifted off to sleep.


	2. Veronica II

**A/N First, I just want to thank everyone who posted reviews and/or signed up for story alerts. I'm so happy that people are enjoying this story. You may have noticed this is my first fanfic, so it really means a lot. I didn't expect to have Chapter 2 up until the weekend, but all of the encouragement made me work harder to get it up faster. (That's what she said.) So, here it is. I hope everyone enjoys it. Please keep the reviews coming, they really help keep me motivated. Thanks!**

**Second, there will be references to my favorite TV shows throughout the story. (For example, Agent Daniels from the last chapter was a nod to Lance Reddick, who played Lieutenant Daniels on "The Wire", and plays Agent Broyles on "Fringe". Hence, Agent Daniels.) If you recognize a line or a character from a show, my intention isn't to plagiarize, just to show my love. **

**Chapter 2**

Veronica

"So wait a minute, does piece A go into slot 5 or slot 6?"

"More importantly, do we really need this stupid bookcase?" Mac countered.

"Yes. It will make us look very sophisticated."

"Really? Because right now it looks like something my little brother Ryan made in woodshop. When he was five." Mac tossed the dowel she'd been holding onto the desk, where it promptly rolled off onto the floor.

Veronica studied their handiwork thoughtfully. "We could just throw some blue and white paint on it and call it modern art."

Mac actually looked like she was considering it. They had been trying to put the bookcase together for the last hour, and she had clearly lost her patience with the project.

A slow smile spread across her face. "This seems like just the type of project that, say, a mechanical engineering major might really enjoy?"

"No such luck. Wallace is heading to the airport to pick up Piz soon," Veronica informed her. She put down the instruction manual she'd been studying and stretched her neck to one side. Piz had been unexpectedly called back to Oregon to help out with his father's landscaping business. His dad's partner had had a death in his family, and they needed Piz to fill in for him. Veronica hadn't even gotten to see him, before he left.

"Really? I thought you'd be picking him up." Mac, abandoning the project for the time being, sat down cross-legged on her bed.

"I wanted to, but I couldn't get out of my shift at the library. We're meeting for dinner down in the food court when I'm done though," Veronica told her.

Mac just nodded.

Picking up on her friend's mood, Veronica said gently, "Hey, you ok? You seem a little… subdued."

"As opposed to my normal bubbly self?" Mac deadpanned.

Truthfully, Mac hadn't been herself _at all_ this past week. She'd been distracted, moody. _Well, even moodier than normal. _Veronica hesitated. "Is everything ok with you and Max?"

Mac shrugged. "It's fine. He's officially a dropout now. But you should see his apartment. It's got, like, thirty foot ceilings. Which is perfect for him, because he never goes outside. He thinks it's going to be a good semester, cheating-wise." Mac glanced up at Veronica. She seemed as if she wanted to say more, but their dorm phone started to ring. She reached onto her nightstand to pick it up.

Veronica looked at her watch. She had a half hour before her shift started, and she was determined to get at least one more shelf in place before she left. She reached down and picked up the instruction manual again.

"Hello? Oh hey, Logan."

Veronica's head snapped up.

Mac noticed and got a big grin on her face, but continued talking in her normal voice. "No, tomorrow is good for me. I'll stop by after my Compro class. That's nerd-speak for Computer Programming… Like, 7ish?" She paused to listen, then laughed. "Yes, some of us actually _enjoy_ veggie burgers. No onions, please. Thanks, I'll see you then." She hung up the phone.

Mac looked at Veronica a little incredulously. "You do realize that you just did the full on _Exorcist_ head-twist, right? When I said his name?"

"I did no such thing," Veronica denied. She bit her lower lip. "So you guys are meeting at the Grand, or…?"

Mac laughed. "Yes, at the Grand. You know, for such a stealthy individual, you-"

"Hi! I'm so sorry to interrupt. Do you guys have any tape?" A pretty brunette had poked her head through their open door, and she was smiling expectantly at the two of them.

"Uh, sure," Mac said. She got up and started rooting through her desk.

"I'm Jeannie. I'm in 214, right down the way. I was in Stevenson Hall last year, but that place is a _total_ buzzkill. Who ever heard of a quiet dorm? I mean, it's supposed to be _college_." She laughed at her own joke. "So are you guys new here?"

Mac and Veronica exchanged a look. "She is," Mac said. "I was here last year."

Jeannie focused her attention on Veronica. "This place is the _best_. You're seriously going to love it. Hearst has the best parties, the hottest guys…" She laughed. "We even had our own scandal last year. This chick, Suzy? Total sex tape. Like, Paris Hilton situation." She turned to Mac. "You remember, right? I heard she had to, like, move away in shame."

Speechless, Mac handed her the Scotch tape.

"Thanks a bunch! I'll have it back in just a sec." And with that, she was gone.

Veronica turned to Mac. "Who the hell is Suzy?"

**xxXxx**

With all of the craziness of packing and moving over the past few days, Veronica still hadn't gotten the chance to stop by her dad's office. She was dying to know who he'd hired, and every time she asked him she would only get a smug look in response. It was killing her. She had to know. She had a half hour before she had to meet Piz, so she headed over to Mars Investigations.

"_You_? Really?"

"Well, if it isn't my girl V!" Weevil greeted her with a big smile. He was sitting at her old desk, flipping through a manila folder. He had lost some weight, Veronica noticed. He wore a blue button-down shirt, and a pair of brown slacks. She couldn't believe how professional he looked. _Well, aside from the gang tattoos on his neck._

"V for victory?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"More like V for vendetta. C'mere and give me some love."

Weevil stepped out from behind the desk, and Veronica made her way over. Just before they were about to hug, Weevil stopped and looked her up and down. "Wait a minute; you got a piece on you?"

Veronica smirked at him. "Yeah, I'm not quite there yet."

"I feel much safer all of the sudden," he laughed. "I ain't in the mood to get shot in the foot." He gave her a big hug. "Besides," he said as they broke apart, "your Pops don't give me insurance."

"Not that I'm not happy to see you working here again, but… how did this happen?" she asked.

Weevil shrugged. "Guess the old man decided to give me another shot."

"What old man?" asked Keith Mars, exiting his office.

"Um, that would be you," teased Veronica. She gave him a quick hug. "I can't stay, I'm meeting Piz. But here." She handed him a brown paper bag. "I got you dessert."

"Thanks honey. We still on for Sunday?" he asked, peeking into the bag.

"Of course."

"Excellent. Alicia is making pot roast." He turned to Weevil. "Eli, how did the surveillance go on the Winters' case?"

"Good. I got the broad on tape, talkin' bout how she's gonna run away to the Bahamas with him." Weevil handed Keith the folder he'd been looking through, plus a CD case.

"Perfect," Keith said with a smile.

Veronica watched them, thoughtful. She turned to Weevil. "What was that thing you once said to me about a leopard, and spots?"

"That they change, sometimes," he said, giving her a meaningful look.

"They better have," she warned him. But then she smiled. "I'll see you two around. Laters!" She waved to the both of them and turned to leave.

**xxXxx**

"Is this seat taken?"

Veronica looked up from her _Human Behavior _textbook to see Piz smiling down at her. _Wow. He looks really good. Better than I remembered. _She smiled up at him and stood up to give him a hug.

He embraced her, and then pulled back to look into her eyes. "Hi," he said. He leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.

Veronica responded instantly, kissing him more forcefully. She was a little surprised by her reaction to him. _Not that I didn't think I'd be happy to see him, I'm just… he looks _really_ good. _She broke off the kiss, remembering that, unlike Logan, Piz wasn't big on PDA.

"Hi," she said back, a little breathlessly. They both took a seat.

"You cut your hair," he noted. "It looks good."

"You too," she said. Not only had Piz cut his hair, but it was a shade or two lighter than it had been. _Most likely from the sun_, she thought. She couldn't picture Piz getting his hair professionally highlighted, like Logan.

A smile fluttered across her lips as she thought about how she used to tease Logan mercilessly about that. He was very fastidious when it came to his hair, although he'd never admit that to anyone but her. _Why am I thinking about Logan?_ She focused her attention back on Piz. Aside from the haircut, he had a tan, which really set off his blue eyes. He was also wearing glasses, which made him look a little older. The overall effect was very nice.

_Although, I suspect all of these changes may have a little something to do with not wanting to get recognized on campus this year. Hey, I can't blame him for that. I cut _my_ hair for the same reason._

Piz had had a really hard time after their "sex tape" had been made public. Girls would come up to him and do a little cheer, or run their fingers up his chest and ask him if he needed a new "study partner". Most guys would have loved the extra attention, but Piz had found it really embarrassing. Veronica knew that he'd been relieved to get out of Neptune, at the end of the semester.

"So how was your flight?" she asked.

"Not too bad. Delayed for just a few minutes. They didn't feed us though, so I'm kind of starving."

"Are you suggesting that we actually eat _food_ on this dinner date of ours?" she teased.

"Crazy talk, right? Well do you at least have some gum, or maybe a Tic-Tac, in that monster bag of yours?" he laughed. "Or perhaps, an entire Tic-Tac factory?"

"Never make fun of the bag," Veronica warned playfully. "Until they come out with a pocket-sized tazer, it's this baby all the way." She patted her bag affectionately. "Ok, enough chit-chat. Let's get some grub."

They stood up simultaneously, and headed over to _Spaghetti Western_. The line was long, so they were in for a bit of a wait. Veronica caught him looking at her as she studied the menu. "What?" she asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No. Just… you look great." He squeezed her hand. "I really missed you. It feels a little surreal that we're back here again, like no time has passed. But-" he laughed. "Never mind, I don't know what I'm even saying right now. I'm so exhausted." He paused. "Maybe… we can take our food back to your room? I'd love to see what you and Mac have done with the place."

"Um…" _Is he suggesting what I _think_ he's suggesting?_ Piz was blushing faintly, and not quite looking her in the eye. _He is, he totally is._

Veronica felt her heartbeat speed up as she considered the situation. Although she'd been certain their relationship had been heading in that direction, after Logan had, well, beat Piz to a bloody pulp, getting more intimate had been physically impossible. Veronica had figured they'd cross that bridge when they came to it. _I just didn't realize the bridge was right smack in front of me._

She smiled brightly up at him. "Our room is a bit…underwhelming," she told him. "Unless you like modern art. We could go up, but Max is visiting, so…"

"Gotcha," Piz said. He turned away from her and started looking at the menu again.

She didn't need her keen ability to read body language to tell her that he was disappointed. And, worse, she was lying_. Which I promised myself I wouldn't do anymore, _she scolded herself. Mac was actually over at her parents' house, picking up a few last minute items. _But…I'm just not ready to deal with this right now. Not yet._

They didn't say anything for a few minutes, and the silence became a little awkward. Veronica wondered if he suspected that she was lying. She really didn't want him to think that she wasn't attracted to him anymore. It wasn't that. She wasn't sure what it was, but it wasn't that.

Impulsively, she put her arm around his waist and looked up at him. "I'm pretty sure Mac is going to Max's this Friday if you want to… stop by."

He smiled and bent down to kiss her again. "That's sounds really good."

Veronica's stomach fluttered, and it had nothing to do with hunger.

**xxXxx**

The following day, Veronica headed up the stairs at Forbin Hall, towards her Lit class. She was a little early, but that would give her time to look through her paperwork for the _Human Behavior_ class she'd just come from. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and fished it out to see who it was. _Restricted. I'll deal with you later. _She walked through the doorway, and stopped short.

_Logan._

He was sitting towards the back of the classroom, chewing on a pen cap while he doodled on the cover of his notebook. He had his legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles, and he was leaned back slightly in his seat.

_He looks fantastic._ The thought popped into her head before she could stop it. _Bad Veronica._

She took a few minutes to study him, while she stood unnoticed at the doorway. Logan had a deep tan, probably from long hours spent out on the ocean. His hair was streaked with blond (whether natural or artificial, it was impossible to tell). His arms were even more muscular than they had been, and his hands…

He looked up, caught her in her stare. Their eyes locked. Neither looked away.

Veronica exhaled inaudibly and walked towards him. She paused beside his desk. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Well, I needed to ask you something, so I bribed an admin with the promise of hot sex to get a copy of your course schedule," he informed her casually.

_And, we're off._ She slid into the empty seat next to him and turned towards him, propping up her chin with her hand. He had gone back to doodling.

"Seems like a lot of unnecessary work."

"Maybe," he shrugged. "But there's no bathroom to hang an 'out of order' sign on these days. And I'm not sure how kindly your…" he paused, glancing at her with a smirk "…_boy_friend would take to me visiting you at your dorm room."

Veronica rolled her eyes at him, smiling despite herself. "Well it's good to see you," she said sincerely. "How was your summer?"

"Dick realized after a couple of weeks with his dad that he didn't owe him a damn thing. So we took off to go surfing in Brazil. Just in time, too. I was ready to gnaw off my own hand in boredom." He abandoned his drawing and turned to face her. "How about you? I'm sure the criminal element is quaking in their boots now that you're all trained up." He looked her up and down. "You carrying?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Maybe because the thought of you with a gun is… terrifying?" he suggested, raising both eyebrows.

"Very funny. No, I don't have a carry permit."

"I'll sleep much easier tonight with that knowledge."

"One of the agents let me do some target practice though." She raised her pointer finger to her lips and blew. "I'm good."

"I recall." He smirked. "Well if you want to practice some time, I have a gun you can borrow."

"I recall," she returned dryly.

"You cut your hair," he stated. "It looks good."

"Thanks."

"So what did they teach you over there? Or was it all just making copies and coffee?"

"It's classified. I could tell you…"

"…but you'd have to kill me," he finished.

"And I _really_ don't want to put poor Cliff through that hassle. You know how he hates paperwork."

Logan snorted. "Your concern is truly admirable."

Veronica laughed. "The program was interesting though. So, what is it that you wanted to ask me?"

But Logan didn't get the chance to answer, as the professor started talking.

"Hello, class. My name is Professor Paula Jayne. Welcome to _19th Century World Literature_. Try to contain your disappointment, but we will _not_ be having a full class today. I'll be passing out syllabi and discussing our planned curriculum, and then you can all be on your merry way. And yes, the plural for syllabus is syllabi, if you had an aching desire to know."

"I love English teachers," Veronica whispered to Logan. "They're always so sarcastic."

He smiled, and his eyes lingered on Veronica for a moment before he turned back to the professor.

"I am an old woman with a short attention span, and I get bored easily. So to keep things fresh and interesting for myself, I like to focus on a different aspect of the literature of the 19th century every time I teach this class. This semester's theme is as simple, and as complex, as they come. Love."

_Oh, that's just perfect._

"And we will be focusing mainly, big surprise, on the Romantics. Keats, Byron, Hawthorne, even Poe, in his sick, twisted way." Professor Jayne gave them a mischievous smile. She began passing out the syllabi. "I've included a list of texts that you will be required to purchase, borrow, or steal. I ask no questions; just have the appropriate reading material with you on the appropriate day."

She continued to talk about what authors they'd be reading and how they'd be graded, but Veronica's thoughts began to wander._ What is Logan doing here? I mean, really? This isn't a core class. What interest could he possibly have in 19th Century Lit? And of _course_ we're studying the Romantics. As if this isn't awkward enough to start with._

_But it's not_, she suddenly realized. _I mean, it should be. And maybe it will be, if she asks us to recite _Romeo and Juliet_ together or something. Wait, wrong century. But, still. Talking to Logan again… it's like no time has passed._

Before Veronica knew it, the professor had dismissed them, and people were gathering their things. She and Logan walked out together, and made the unspoken decision to pause outside of the door. Logan watched as people filed out of the class. He seemed to be waiting for something.

When they were finally alone, he said, "So. I've been thinking about a certain blue-eyed ex of yours."

Veronica put her finger to her lips and tapped on them, pretending to ponder who he could possibly be referring to.

Logan sighed, but he was smiling. "I'll give you a hint. Think fast food chain. 'Blank' Donuts."

"Clever."

"So, knowing the way you operate, I figure you must have come up with some way of getting in touch with him." He looked directly at her, eyes serious.

Veronica hesitated.

Logan threw up his arms, exasperated. "C'mon, Veronica, don't you trust me?"

Veronica looked at Logan thoughtfully. _They were best friends. Of course Logan misses him. And Dick isn't exactly a sparkling conversationalist. _"I do trust you," she told him. "Of course I do." She gave him a small smile, and lowered her voice. "Have you ever heard of _Relix_ magazine?"

"Yeah," he said, leaning in closer to hear her.

"Well in the back is a prisoner pen pal section. People who got busted selling acid, but still want to talk to someone they can metaphorically jam with, or whatever," she said. "Write an ad saying you're 'Scarlet Begonia' looking for your very own 'Casey Jones'."

"Wait a minute, why can't I be Casey? I don't want to be Scarlet," he said.

Veronica rolled her eyes. "Logan, you're supposed to be me. This is the code; this is how he'll know it's meant for him."

"Can't I say I'm Casey Jones looking for, I don't know, Saint Stephen?" he suggested.

"Yeah, be prepared to get an entirely different kind of response with that ad," she laughed.

"Oh. Right. Go on."

"Anyway, put whatever you want in the ad, just be discreet."

"So I can't ask him how life on the lam is, or what the best deals are at Kidnappers R' Us?"

Veronica ignored him. "And don't make it too long. But this is the important part. There are a series of words that you have to work into the message, so that he can be sure it's you. But don't use any of the words consecutively. Ready? Fortune, cookie, rocky, road, truffle, shuffle, one-eyed and Willie." Off Logan's look, she said, "What can I say, we watched a lot of _The Goonies_ together."

"Aw, that really is adorable. Wait, then what's the fortune cookie thing all about?" he asked.

"Nothing," Veronica said. "It's a…private joke."

Logan crossed his arms. "Isn't there any way I can let him know it's me, and not you? The last thing I need is to get a 'Dear Schnookums, how do I love thee?' letter from Duncan."

"Really?" she countered sarcastically. "Because the thought of Duncan thinking that you're me, and telling you personal things about our relationship, makes _me_ all warm and fuzzy."

"Point taken. Go on."

"Ask Mac to set up an e-mail address for you, so that it can't be traced back to you on the off chance that someone is monitoring it. Here, let me give you Mac's cell." She reached into her pocket for her phone.

"I have her number," he said. "You know, for business purposes."

"Oh, right."

"Thanks for the info. I really do appreciate it."

"No problem. Tell him 'hi' from me," she said. She wanted to say more, but she didn't know what. The truth was, she hadn't thought about Duncan in awhile.

"So, uh…" Logan began. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't expecting a gun-filled visit from our lovable Russian friend this summer."

"You don't have to worry about him," Veronica said quietly.

Logan turned to face her fully, eyes snapping. "What did you do?"

Veronica said nothing.

"If you did something that might put you in danger, you need to tell me right now." He dropped his voice. "I asked around and the Sorokin family is no joke. I'm serious, Veronica. Tell me what you did."

"I can't talk about it, okay?" she whispered. Logan's eyes flashed frustration and anger. But before it turned into a classic Logan and Veronica battle, she put her hand on his arm and looked at him intently. "No, listen, it's not what you think. I promise you that I wasn't involved, but I know for a fact that he won't be a problem. Please just trust me on this and let it go."

Veronica half expected Logan to quip about him asking for the same thing, when he'd had an alibi for Mercer, but instead getting blackmailed. And he'd have every right to. But instead, he just looked at her intently for a moment and said. "Okay."

**xxXxx**

The Lit class met on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so Veronica saw Logan again two days later. He had beaten her there again, and he was saving her a seat.

"Kickin' it old school, eh?" he said.

"Huh?" she asked.

"The skirt. The boots." He gestured with his pen. "It's like we're back in high school."

"Does that mean you'll be playing the role of a psychotic jackass again?" she asked, smiling sweetly.

Logan was uncharacteristically quiet. Veronica studied his face. He seemed genuinely upset by her remark, so she took pity on him. "Logan, I'm kidding."

He glanced at her, briefly, then looked back at his notebook. "You still see me that way, don't you." It wasn't a question.

Veronica was confused. _Why is he bringing this up now? It's been…three years since he's said or done anything to deliberately hurt me._ "What? No. Why would you think that?"

He shrugged. "I mean, I get it. I don't know if I'd be able to let it go either, not completely."

"Let _what_ go?" she asked.

Logan looked her in the eye. "The anger. For how I treated you. The rumors I spread, the way I acted. The things I did."

Even as Veronica was shaking her head in denial, she was flashing to Logan, sitting at the 09er table, making lewd gestures at her and whispering in the ears of his friends about her. While she sat, alone, grieving, friendless. _That Logan was awful to me. _This _Logan… but they're _the same person_. He has that inside of him, that capacity to hurt someone so deeply. But also, the capacity to-_

"Love. Our central theme. Today I'd like to talk to you about a poet named Dante Rossetti…"

Veronica slowly turned back towards the front of the classroom, frustrated that her conversation with Logan had been interrupted. _Is he still carrying that around? I've forgiven him, doesn't he know that?_

"…and although he was an artist as well, in my opinion it was his _poetry_ that was truly able to evoke intense emotion. With a simple phrase, Rossetti could bring you to a moment in time; have you feel as though you were experiencing it with him…"

_Have I, though? Have I truly forgiven him for the way he treated me back then? For the salt lick, at Shelly's party? For taunting me about Mom? _She felt the answer, physically, as anger welled up in her chest just thinking about it._ No_, she realized. _I haven't._

"…remember, the Romantics placed a great emphasis on nature, emotion, passion…"

_I know why he acted that way. He was grieving too, and he didn't know where to direct his anger. I know that, rationally. And he's more than made up for his actions since then. But the way he was then, it still affects the way I see him. My ability to trust him. I'm still…a little mad at him_. Veronica was shocked by this revelation. She'd thought she was so mature, forgiving Logan for the past and moving on. But she hadn't forgiven him, not completely. And she was always waiting for him to revert back to that person.

"…the poem I'd like to read to you today is, I believe, one of Rossetti's most inspired efforts. It's called _Silent Noon_:

_Your hands lie open in the long fresh grass,  
The finger-points look through like rosy blooms:  
Your eyes smile peace. The pasture gleams and glooms  
'Neath billowing skies that scatter and amass.  
All round our nest, far as the eye can pass,  
Are golden kingcup-fields with silver edge  
Where the cow-parsley skirts the hawthorn-hedge.  
'Tis visible silence, still as the hour-glass._

_Deep in the sun-searched growths the dragon-fly_  
_Hangs like a blue thread loosened from the sky:_  
_So this wing'd hour is dropt to us from above._  
_Oh! clasp we to our hearts, for deathless dower,_  
_This close-companioned inarticulate hour_  
_When twofold silence was the song of love._

Veronica looked at Logan, and he was looking back at her. She knew that he was remembering, too…

_They're at Crescent Beach, at sunset. The night is warm and the moon is bright. Logan and Veronica lay together on a blanket. They are alone. Logan is feeding her a spoonful of chocolate mousse. He'd surprised her with a picnic dinner on the beach, and now they are onto dessert._

"_That's so good. Too good," Veronica says. She lies back, looking at the stars. The sun has sunk down into the depths, and the night is darkening._

"_Impossible. Nothing can be too good," Logan disagrees. He lies down next to her on the blanket. "The moon is waxing," he announces. He turns to her, grinning. "Are you impressed with my knowledge of lunar cycles?"_

"_Not at all. It's something all lunatics should know," she says. _

"_Ha ha. Well it means it's a good time to start new ventures, if you wanted to know," he tells her._

"_Is this the kind of crap that's supposed to impress me?" she teases._

"_Yes," he says. He tries to feed Veronica another bite, but she's stubbornly keeping her mouth closed. He scoops a bit of the mousse onto his finger and tries to coax her mouth open._

_She turns her head. "I _will_ bite you!" she threatens, laughing._

"_Promise?" he asks._

_And then they're wrestling, rolling off the blanket and onto the sand. Kissing, nibbling, scratching, tugging each others clothes off. Logan is down to his swim trunks and Veronica is wearing just her bikini bottoms. He's about to untie them when he hesitates, looks at her. "Is this… okay?" he asks._

"_Perfect," she says. She smiles and pulls him down on top of her…_

…_It's the next morning. They haven't been apart yet. She'd stayed with him at the Grand the night before, in his bed…and his shower, his couch, his living room floor. They can't keep their hands off each other. He brings her breakfast in bed, and tries to let her be while she eats. She only makes it halfway though before he pushes the tray away and takes her into his arms. She doesn't mind…_

…_It's the afternoon, and they still haven't been apart. They're lying in the grass together at Rosedale Park. Logan is pointing out pornographic shapes in the clouds and Veronica is tickling him. She dares him to eat a piece of grass. They can't stop laughing. The people passing by are giving them strange looks, which just makes them laugh harder…_

"And for your first assignment, I would like your interpretation of that poem. Three to five pages will suffice. You can find the poem in your Anthology. Now, let's move onto Keats…"

The professor continued with her lecture. Veronica forced herself to pay attention, and to _not_ look at Logan. When class was over, she took her time gathering her things. She knew that he was waiting for her. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and reached for it. _Restricted_. She was happy for the distraction. She looked up at Logan.

"I have to take care of this," she said, gesturing to her phone.

He nodded. "See you next week."

She watched as he walked away. He didn't look back.

**xxXxx**

Later that evening, Veronica was alone in her room studying when there was a knock on the door. _He's prompt._

She took a deep breath and walked to the door. Clarence Weidman was standing there.

"You've been ignoring my calls."


	3. The Dreaded Piz Chapter

**A/N I apologize in advance to the Piz-haters (especially boobsnotbombs. I'm impressed that you hate him even more than Duncan! That takes serious skill). Anyway, you guys are probably not going to like this chapter. I promise you I'll make it up to you in the next couple of chapters. (Especially Chapter 5 ;) ) **

**I've included this chapter because I need it, structurally. Also, I'm trying to stay true to the characters. For where Veronica's head is right now, it makes sense that she is with Piz. I should also mention that although I resented the hell out of his character when season 3 originally aired, I no longer despise him. My Piz is a little more like Chris Lowell, the actor who plays him, than how he was portrayed on the show. (Think youtube video with him and Kristen Bell and the flashcards.) In other words, he's way less neurotic and more mellow.**

**That being said, please don't throw rocks at me. **

**And please continue to review, I absolutely love hearing what you all think!**

**Chapter 3**

Piz

Piz sat in the food court, drinking a cup of coffee and pulling apart his bagel. It was Friday morning, and he was between classes. Hardly anyone at Hearst took Friday classes. Especially Friday _morning_ classes. Unfortunately, _History of Music_ was a prerequisite for a bunch of other courses he needed; and the only way it worked into his schedule was if he took it Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 9am. One more class left, and he'd have the whole weekend ahead of him. _And my date with Veronica tonight. Which, apparently, is making me so nervous that I can't eat._

When he looked up from his bagel and glanced around the food court, his eyes landed on someone who he definitely didn't expect to see, on a Friday. _Logan._ _And that blond surfer kid he always hangs out with._ They were waiting in line, at _Hallowed Grounds_. The blond guy was gesturing to a rather buxom brunette who stood in front of them. He elbowed Logan in the ribs and grinned widely. Logan laughed, but shook his head.

Without hesitation, Piz stood up and tossed the remains of his coffee and bagel into the trash. He grabbed his bag and his guitar case and took off toward Forbin Hall. Piz wasn't too proud to admit that Logan pretty much scared the crap out of him. He would never forget the look in Logan's eye when he'd come after him that day, last semester. His eyes had been filled with such fury and loathing, he'd been almost unrecognizable.

But that wasn't why he was leaving. He knew that Logan wouldn't go after him again; not unless it was justified. Piz believed that Logan's apology had been genuine. The fight between them had been due to a misunderstanding, and he wasn't the type to hold a grudge. Piz would never be buddies with the guy, but he had made his peace with it, and moved on.

In fact, if he'd seen Logan even a week ago, he probably would have said hello. That was, until he'd seen Logan and Veronica talking together on Tuesday…

_Piz is at Forbin Hall, getting ready to go into class. The Music department shares Forbin with the English department. The Music classes are all on the first floor, in insulated rooms that won't disturb any of the other students. He tries to grab a Coke out of the vending machine, but it's busted. He's got a few minutes before his class starts, so he decides to run upstairs to the machine on the second floor. _

_He sees Veronica, standing in the hallway. He's about to call out to her when he spots Logan. They're very close together, speaking so quietly that he can't hear what they're saying. Neither one of them is aware that he's standing there. He's not surprised; they are entirely focused on each other. So focused, in fact, that Piz wonders if they'd notice if a fire broke out. _

_He stands there, watching them, the dollar for his soda forgotten in his hand. Veronica puts her hand on Logan's arm and says something, her expression earnest. There's a familiarity about the gesture that makes Piz's chest tighten. But the part that _really_ bothers him is that after Veronica turns to leave, Logan stares after her. Even after she's turned the corner and he can't possibly see her anymore, he keeps staring. The expression on his face is unreadable…_

Last semester, Piz hadn't blamed Logan for still having feelings for Veronica. They hadn't been broken up for long when he and Veronica had started dating. Logan obviously resented Piz, but that made sense… he'd gotten the girl.

_But that was _four months_ ago. I thought all the rumors swirling around about Logan's summer activities meant Veronica was the_ last_ thing on his mind these days. No such luck, apparently._

Piz wished it didn't bother him that Logan was still into his girlfriend. He wished he could say with confidence that it didn't worry him. Maybe, if Veronica had ever looked at him the way she'd looked at Logan that day in the cafeteria, he could sleep easier at night. But she never had.

That was why he'd left the food court. He just didn't need the reminder that this guy, this badass rich kid who lived in a _penthouse_, for god's sake, had once had his girlfriend's heart. And given Logan's reputation, Piz certainly didn't need the reminder that Logan had once had his girlfriend's body, as well. _Especially not today, when my stomach is already in knots thinking about our… date._

It didn't help that Piz knew so little about Logan and Veronica's relationship. She absolutely never spoke about Logan. In fact, when Veronica had told him that she and Logan had known each other for eight years, he'd been a little shocked. He'd had no idea that they had that kind of history.

He knew, from Wallace, was that they'd all gone to high school together. When he'd asked Wallace about the two of them, he'd only say that he never understood their relationship. "Veronica is probably the only person in the world who understands _that_ guy," Wallace had said with a shrug. "She's the only one that he lets in."

He wouldn't say anything more on the subject. But Piz had just figured that Veronica and Logan were a typical, failed high school romance. A couple, like millions of others, who had tried to take their relationship with them to college… only to discover that it was too hard with all of the other fish swimming in the sea.

_I mean, she didn't even seem that upset about it when they broke up. She acted totally normal._

But that was Veronica. She wouldn't hesitate to air out someone else's dirty laundry for the world to see, but when it came to herself… Well, that was another matter entirely. _I know she cares about me, though. And I care about her. So I'm not going anywhere. But she sure as hell doesn't make it easy on me._

Veronica was so hot and cold. Just when he'd think everything was going well, she'd pull away from him. And when he got to the point where he couldn't take the distance anymore, she'd say something so sweet, and look up at him with those big, blue eyes, and he was putty in her hands.

She was beautiful. Too beautiful, maybe. And from the day he'd met her, he'd been under her spell. She fascinated him. Intrigued him. He knew that she was out of his league, and he still couldn't believe that they were together. She was so intelligent, self-reliant, worldly. More experienced than him, physically. And Piz knew that Veronica had been through real loss and pain, although she never spoke of it.

As soon as Piz had met her, he'd asked Wallace to tell him everything he knew about her. Wallace wouldn't divulge too much about their days in high school together. He'd said that he didn't want to betray her trust. But Wallace _had_ told him that Veronica's best friend, Lilly, had been killed. Piz had put two and two together after the fact, discovering that "Lilly" was actually "Lilly Kane". And everybody knew how _that_ story ended.

This meant, he'd then realized, that Logan wasn't just some boy Veronica had dated in high school. He was Logan _Echolls_. And his father was the one who'd stood trial for murdering Veronica's best friend. Which made the fact that she and Logan had dated even more unusual.

Piz snapped out of his reverie to find that he had arrived at his class. He was a few minutes early, but the door was open so he headed inside. It was _Jazz Ensemble_, and he'd been looking forward to it all week. Their first class had been cancelled. He'd gotten there on Wednesday to find the door locked and a messy note saying, "Unexpectedly detained. See you kids Friday".

_Now _this_ class is more my scene_, he thought. The classroom was in levels, sort of like an auditorium. Each level played host to a different type of instrument. He sat down and took his guitar out of its case. He started to leaf through the sheet music, curious what they'd be playing.

"Think he'll actually show up this time?"

Piz looked up to see a petite girl setting up her stand-up bass. She had long, wavy brown hair with bright red streaks running through it. She was pretty. Made even more attractive, he had to admit, by the fact that she played bass. Not many women did. _But_, he reminded himself, _your girlfriend is smoking hot. Like, _Maxim_ magazine cover hot. _

"Uh, yeah," he said. "Hope so."

"I'm gonna be pissed if he doesn't show again. This thing isn't exactly easy to lug around campus," she said, indicating her bass.

"I bet," he returned sympathetically.

She nodded to his guitar. "What do you got there? Is that a Martin?"

"Yeah. My birthday present this year. My real pride and joy is my 67 Gretsch."

"Excellent," she replied, sounding impressed. "Cherry red?"

"Naturally."

"Your parents must love you. How sweet."

"Um, thanks, I guess? But I actually saved up and got it myself. And the Martin is used. I mean, it still sounds great, but, yeah," Piz told her, a little confused by her tone.

"Oh, good," she replied with a relieved sigh. "I thought you might be one of those rich Neptune kids. This place is crawling with them. I'm Emily," she added, holding out her hand.

"Piz," he said, shaking it. She had a firm grip, for such a small girl. "I'm from Oregon, actually. _Wow_." He looked at her more closely. "Your eyes are _green_."

"Every day," she agreed.

"I just meant, they're _really_ green. Like, radioactive," he said, suddenly feeling foolish. This girl was making him feel a little flustered. He looked down at his watch. Class was supposed to be starting, but the teacher still wasn't there. The room was filling up, everyone messing around with their instruments while they waited.

"Piz_narski_. My man!" he felt a heavy clap on his back. He looked up to see his buddy Tristan, who had been in a bunch of classes with him last year.

"Hey, Tristan. What's up man?"

"Same old," his friend said. He spotted Emily. "There's my girl. How are you, sweetheart?" Tristan bent down and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Can't complain," she answered.

Tristan looked around. "Bunch of misfits in this class. Should be fun! I'm gonna sneak upstairs for a Coke before the teacher gets here. You guys good? Yeah? Ok I'll be back."

When Piz looked back at Emily, she was staring at him. "You went here last year?"

"Yeah," he said, a little defensively. _Oh, god, please don't let her bring up the tape._

"How come I've never seen you around? Do you play out?"

He shrugged. "I mean, I have. Not here, but at home with my band. And over the summer, I-"

"Or…" she continued, a big grin spreading across her face, "Are you one of those Emo kids who spends all day in his dorm by himself, listening to music and wondering why the world _hurts_ so much?"

"What?" he asked. "No. _No._ Why would you think that I'm Emo? I'm not Emo."

"Please," she scoffed. "Look at your glasses."

"What's wrong with my glasses?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Ok, let's just start with the obvious. The hair doesn't work, but aside from that, I present to you Exhibit A: black-framed glasses. Exhibit B: black, zip-up hoody. Exhibit C," she gestured towards the floor "messenger bag. Exhibit D: Chuck Taylors."

"What's wrong with Converse? They're comfortable."

She ignored him and continued to look him up and down. "You don't have on skinny jeans. Small victory for you there. And I don't see any visible piercings. I think I need more information. Do you want to take the quiz?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Piz crossed his arms, amused in spite of himself. "Hit me."

"Are you a music major?"

"Minor," he answered.

"Close enough. Do you do drugs?"

"No."

"Do you drink?"

"Sometimes."

"But not excessively," she stated.

"No," he agreed.

"How many pairs of Converse do you own?"

"Um, three, I think?"

"Doc Martens?"

"None."

"Interesting," she said.

"So?" he asked.

"Oh, I haven't asked you the most important question yet."

"No, I don't wear black eyeliner."

She laughed. "Good to know, but that's not it. The question is…" she paused dramatically, "how many times have you gotten your heart broken?"

"None," he said triumphantly. _Yet. "_So, what's the verdict?"

She looked at him, considering. "Well, we didn't do the music portion yet. But right now, you're on the bubble. There's an Emo kid inside of you, just dying to get his heart broken so he can fully emerge."

"That should be a fun, and rather messy, day," he noted.

She laughed, and he couldn't help smiling back. Her laugh was infectious.

"For the record," she said, "I have nothing against Emo kids. They're kind of hot."

Before Piz could respond to that, Tristan came back and sat between the two of them. He grabbed his guitar. "Piz, you wanna play lead? You should, you're better than me."

Piz was flattered. Tristan was a senior and a great guitar player. He sang and played lead guitar for his band, _The Red Rovers_. They were really popular on campus.

"Let's just switch off," he suggested. "Take turns playing rhythm and lead."

"Cool," Tristan agreed. "So listen man, I need a favor. Tino's a little…" he laughed to himself, "under the weather. But we've got a gig at Valentine's tonight. Do you mind sitting in? It would really help us out."

"Yeah, man, definitely. I'd love to." Suddenly, Piz remembered his date with Veronica. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten about it. "Wait a minute, I actually sort of have plans with my girlfriend, but…You know what, let me just talk to her, maybe we can figure something out. What time are you going on?"

"Nine-ish?"

"Ok. I'll let you know." Piz really wanted to play. But if Veronica didn't want to go, and she wasn't willing to meet him later on that night… well there wasn't a chance in hell he'd give up spending time with her tonight. He'd had his share of opportunities, over the years. And quite a few the past summer, in New York. But, corny as it sounded, he wanted his first time to be something special. And Veronica was worth waiting for.

Just then, a man dressed in jeans, a t-shirt and a blazer came in. He announced that he was Professor Jerry Derhak.

"I apologize for missing our first class. It's a long, somewhat…vivid…story. And if anyone cares to hear about it, I'll gladly tell you over a drink at McGill's. Let's get started."

**xxXxx**

Veronica met Piz for lunch after his class. She gave him a big hug and a kiss when she saw him, but once she sat down, she seemed distracted. She was quiet, and she toyed with her food. If anyone else was acting like that, Piz would have asked them what was wrong. But one of the things he'd learned about Veronica was that when she was in a mood like this, the best thing to do was to continue acting normal. Eventually, she'd relax and start behaving more like herself again.

With that in mind, he said, "So, everyone in my _History of Music_ class hates me."

"Well did you say or do anything to offend anyone?" she asked. She sat up a little straighter, immediately in investigator-mode.

"Um…"

"Spill."

"Welllll… I sort of, _accidentally_, reminded the professor about a quiz we were supposed to have today," he admitted.

Veronica smiled and shook her head at him. "Please don't tell me I'm dating _that guy_."

"It was an accident, it just slipped out. I don't know what I was thinking. But after, he wanted us to pair up to quiz each other, and no one would pair up with me," Piz told her. He pushed his lower lip out in a pout, trying to make her smile.

Veronica took pity on him. "Yeah, I know that feeling."

"Yeah, right," he replied.

A strange look crossed her face. "No, really. There was a point in high school when I was pretty… unpopular."

"Did you like, blackmail all the other kids into giving you their lunch money or something?" he teased. "Tazer people who cut you in line at the cafeteria?"

"Not quite. I…" She trailed off, looking down and playing with her food. Then she glanced up at him and shrugged. "You know what? I don't really want to talk about it."

"Okay," he agreed easily. He didn't want to drop it; he wanted to hear about her past. Wanted to understand better what made her tick. But sometimes, she would just refuse to discuss something, or change the subject quickly. And when she got like that, there was no point in pursuing it. "So, you want to go do something after we eat?"

"What did you have in mind?" she asked.

"I don't know. Let's go take a walk on the beach. Get some air," he suggested.

"That sounds perfect, actually. Which beach should we go to?"

Piz shrugged. "How about Crescent?"

Veronica took a moment before answering. "Um, it gets kind of crowded there this time of day. Let's go to Pacific instead."

"Sure, whatever," he agreed.

"So," she said, with some enthusiasm. "It's Mac's birthday next week, and everyone is going out to McGill's to celebrate. You think you can make it? It's next Friday night."

"Yeah, definitely," Piz replied. "Sounds like fun."

"Good," Veronica said, giving him a small smile. She bit her bottom lip. "So, listen. I should tell you… Logan is probably going to be there."

_Great. Logan again. _

"Oh, yeah?" was all he responded.

"Yeah. So… is that going to be weird for you, or…?"

_Not at all. I'll show him the scar he gave me under my right eye. Then maybe we can swap stories about what turns you on. If he's in a good mood, maybe he'll let me pick a bar fight with him. _

"Nah, it's fine," he answered.

She exhaled. "Okay, good. Because if you didn't want to go, I would have understood."

_But you would have gone anyway._

"Have you seen him around?" he asked casually.

"Yeah." She cleared her throat. "We actually have a class together."

_And would you have told me that, if I hadn't asked?_

But he just nodded. "So, um, there's something I wanted to ask you too. My buddy Tristan's got this band… Anyway, their guitar player is sick or something, so he asked if I could fill in for him tonight. But I know we were gonna hang out, so… I mean, do you have any interest in seeing us play tonight? It wouldn't take too long, maybe an hour or so…"

Veronica had a big smile on her face. "Beaverton boy makes big, eh?" She took his hand across the table. "I would love to see you play. I wouldn't miss it."

**xxXxx**

The night had gone really well. If there was one thing that Piz knew he was good at, it was playing guitar. Most of the band's original songs were pretty easy to jam to, and all of the crowd pleasers were cover songs he knew well. Tristan had asked him to play lead on a couple of songs, and he'd had a blast. While he played, he'd forgotten all about how nervous he'd been that morning, he'd forgotten all about seeing Logan with Veronica… he'd even forgotten about Veronica herself, for a little while.

When he got done, Wallace and Veronica were waiting for him at the bar.

"You were amazing," Veronica said, hugging him. "You're really good!"

"Don't sound so surprised," he laughed.

"Nice, man," Wallace said. He gestured to Veronica. "I think this one wants you to sign something."

Veronica elbowed him in the side.

"Got a sharpie?" Piz joked.

"Please," she said haughtily. "I hang out with rock stars all the time. Remember Desmond Fellows?"

Piz felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around. To his surprise, Emily was standing there. "Hey," he said. "I didn't know you were gonna be here tonight."

"Tristan told me you guys were playing together tonight. I had to see if the Gretsch really existed," she teased him.

"Well, now you know I'm not a liar," he said, smirking. "Um, Emily, this is my roommate Wallace, and my girlfriend, Veronica."

It was quick, but Piz caught the flicker of disappointment in her eye when he gestured to Veronica. He was a little surprised.

If Veronica saw it too, she didn't acknowledge it. She just smiled and shook Emily's hand.

"So," Emily said. "Can I buy you guys a round?"

Piz looked to Veronica, to see what she wanted to do. It had been a great night. He didn't want to push his luck. Maybe he'd be better off just ending the night with a drink at the bar. Veronica looked back at him, her expression unreadable. She seemed to be considering something. After a moment, she walked over to him and put her arm around his waist.

"Actually," she told Emily. "We were just leaving."


	4. Mac I

**A/N For my purposes, Mac's birthday is in September.**

**As always, thank you so much for your reviews & please keep them coming!**

**Chapter 4**

Mac

Mac was walking down the hallway back to her dorm room, when she became aware of a strange… thumping noise. It seemed to be getting louder. Slowly, she followed the sound, only to discover that it was emanating from her & Veronica's room. She paused outside of the door, a little afraid of what she was going to walk in on.

She knocked loudly and announced, "It's me! I'm coming in." Then she waited a few beats before unlocking the door.

Veronica was kneeling on the floor, whacking a wooden dowel into one of the shelves for their bookcase with a hammer. She looked up when Mac entered the room. "Hey," she said, brushing a piece of hair from her forehead.

"I see you're doing your part to make sure our neighbors won't be dropping in on us unexpectedly, anymore," Mac said, throwing her backpack onto her bed.

"I like to be upfront with my anti-social behavior. I don't want any confusion," Veronica told her.

Mac looked at her watch. "Well, it's 10am on a Saturday. I'd say the neighbors officially hate us now." She shrugged. "Hey, it's fine by me. That Jeannie chick already asked me if she could borrow my favorite sweater. Screw that."

Veronica put her hand up for a high five and Mac smacked it. "Speaking of Jeannie," Veronica said, "I wonder what that whole Suzy thing was all about?"

"No idea. The weird thing is, I heard a couple of kids in my class talking about a 'Suzy' the other day, too."

"Talking how?" Veronica inquired.

"They said something like 'I gotta find myself a Suzy tonight'," Mac answered.

"_A_ Suzy? Like it's a noun?"

"Yup."

"Weird. You haven't heard anything about another…video, have you? Aside from mine?" Veronica asked. Mac could tell that the topic was making her uncomfortable.

"No," Mac answered honestly. "In fact, I haven't heard a word about yours since the semester started."

"Yeah, me either," Veronica said, obviously relieved. "I wonder if the Suzy thing is worth looking into? Although… Well, I hate to say it, but if people are occupied with another scandal, that makes things a little easier for me." Veronica hit the dowel with the hammer again, a little violently. "I _will_ get this bookcase built today."

_Okay, this is slightly manic behavior, even for Veronica._ Mac glanced around the room, and her eyes landed on Piz's hoody. It was draped over the back of Veronica's desk chair. _Aha._

"Just so you know," Mac said, "I'm not helping you with that." She sat down at her computer to check the numbers on her and Logan's new website. They had gone live with it two days ago. Mac yawned. "I'm freaking exhausted. Max doesn't sleep. I'm starting to think he's a vampire."

"Do you want me to check your neck for bite marks?" Veronica offered, grinning.

"Maybe I should be checking yours instead?" Mac teased.

Veronica blushed. "I don't know what you're referring to," she muttered.

"Uh-huh." Mac gestured to Piz's sweatshirt. "Did the magical 'Hoody Fairy' deliver that in the middle of the night?"

Veronica crossed her arms and leaned back against Mac's bed frame. "Yes. She wanted to spread autumn cheer on campus." Veronica hesitated, and then continued in a very different tone. "So you and Max…It's different with you guys than it was with you and Bronson, right?"

Mac was surprised that Veronica was asking her about this. Veronica was probably the only person in the _world_ who talked about her sex life less than she did. But Mac just shrugged. "Yeah. Bronson was really sweet. Very… attentive. We kissed a lot, you know, during. But it got kind of… I don't know, I hate to say it, but kind of boring. Max is- well, he's a little more creative."

Veronica nodded, absently twirling her hair with her finger. She looked thoughtful.

Mac knew that was the end of the conversation, so she focused back on her website.

"What have you got there?" Veronica asked, standing up and walking over to Mac's desk. On Mac's computer were several photos of people showing off their tattoos.

"Our new project," Mac answered. "Grademytat dot net. Logan pushed for an extra 'as' on the end of that, but I put my foot down."

Veronica thought for a second. "Grade my ta-tas?" She rolled her eyes, but laughed. "Shocker. Well on that note," she continued, "I have an elsewhere to be."

"Kay," Mac said. "Dinner later?"

"Definitely." Veronica grabbed her bag and a sweater, waved goodbye and went out the door.

Mac never asked her where she was going anymore. Veronica took cryptic to a new level. It was very different living with Veronica than it had been living with Parker. There was nothing mysterious about _that_ girl. She was an open book. Parker had always been so perky, so upbeat. She was constantly dragging Mac to different campus events, trying to get her to be more extroverted. Parker had also pushed Mac to open up more, to "share". And she had, a little bit. But somehow, it was Veronica who felt more like a sister. Maybe that's why she'd gotten so defensive when Parker had attacked her…

"_He is _unbelievable_! Our whole relationship was a lie, right from the start! And she _knew_, I know she did! She _knew_ he was still in love with her, but she didn't say a word to me. She just stood there and watched while I fell head over heels for him! I bet she _enjoyed_ it!" Parker is yelling, crying, pacing back and forth in their dorm room._

_Mac is uncomfortable. She doesn't like being put in the middle of this, and she doesn't know what to say. She doesn't like Parker saying these things about Veronica, but she's trying to stay neutral. "Parker, I don't know if Veronica knew that Logan still had feelings for her. And, to be fair, they were broken up for like, a second, when you went after him. It's really not the best idea in the world to go after your friend's ex-boyfriend like that."_

"_Of course you're taking _her_ side!" Parker shouts. Her face is pink and wet with tears as she spins around to face Mac. "Little Miss Perfect, Veronica Mars! Everyone treats her like a freaking _queen_ around here. You, Wallace, Piz, _Logan_… You fall all over yourselves trying to please her!"_

"_Hey!" Mac says, finally raising her voice. "You don't know a damn thing about Veronica! You have no idea what that girl has been through. And you have no idea what she's done for all of us." Mac angrily pulls her sneakers on and grabs her purse. She steps closer to Parker, looking up at the taller girl. "Veronica is a true friend," she says. "Who the hell are you?" With that, she storms out of the room…_

Mac looked over at Parker's old bed, now covered in Veronica's comforter._ And that was the last time I ever saw her. _She had spent the next two weeks avoiding Parker and crashing at Max's. And when she finally went back to the room to pack, Parker's things were already gone. _I wish it hadn't ended like that. I do miss her, sometimes. But I couldn't let her talk about my best friend that way._

Parker _had_ been a friend, regardless of how things ended. But Veronica, she was family.

Mac shut off her laptop and kicked her shoes off. She lay down on her bed, hoping to get a couple of hours sleep. One of the other nice things about rooming with Veronica was that she was always busy, which meant that Mac had the room to herself a lot. That had been particularly nice lately, because Mac had a lot on her mind. She suspected that Veronica had picked up on her mood; but although when it came to most things, Veronica wouldn't stop pushing to find out the truth, when it came to emotional stuff she never pried. Which was also good, because Mac had her secrets too…

_It's late summer, and Mac is lying on a towel at Pacific Beach. She's got her eyes closed, and she's listening to _The Dandy Warhols "Sleep"._ It's been a very long time since she's listened to this song. It reminds her of Cassidy, and she usually avoids things that remind her of Cassidy. But lately, Mac has been wondering "what if", and allowing her mind to travel through dark pathways. This was the song playing when she and Cassidy kissed for the first time… She realizes that she hasn't played it since the day before graduation._

What if I had grown up with my birth parents? The Sinclairs' lived on the same street as the Casablancas'. What if I had known Cassidy from the time we were little kids, and we'd been friends? Maybe, just maybe, we would have been such good friends that his parents wouldn't have forced him into Little League to try to make new friends? Maybe I would have shown him how to stand up to his brother? Maybe, if I'd been there from the start, his head wouldn't have gotten so twisted?

I hate Dick for what he did to him. He didn't even care, after he died. Showed no emotion at all. Except for that one day, at the beach. And then he tried to _kiss me_. What the hell was that? _A new thought strikes her._ If I grew up with Cassidy, that would mean I would've grown up with Dick, too. Does that mean that I would have dated him, like Madison did?

_Mac feels something hit her in the leg. She opens her eyes in surprise to see Lauren running towards her. _My sister…

"_Mac!" Lauren greets her happily, stopping at the edge of her towel. Despite living in the same town, Mac hasn't seen her, or her birth parents, in over two years. She's slightly surprised, but very pleased, that Lauren still remembers her at all. _

_She still looks the same, just a bit taller and a bit curvier. Her sister is growing into a young woman, and she feels a pang in her chest that she hasn't been there to help her through these awkward adolescent years. Mac wonders if she's had her first crush yet, her first kiss… Or if Lauren still shies away from boys, the way _she_ had, at her age._

"_Hey," she finally replies, smiling widely. She pauses her song and takes her earbuds out. "Watcha doing?"_

_Lauren points to the object that hit Mac in the leg. "Trying to play Frisbee. But I'm not very good, and my sister won't play with me." She reaches down and picks the Frisbee up off of Mac's beach towel._

"_Lauren! Get back here and stop bothering people!" Mac looks up to see Madison walking towards her in a skimpy gold bikini. "Oh," she adds, as she gets closer and spots Mac. "It's you."_

_Mac sighs, gearing up for what's sure to be an unpleasant interaction. "Hey, Madison." She turns to Lauren. "I know how to play Frisbee, kinda. Someone I know once showed me a couple of tricks, and he was pretty good at it. Do you want me to teach you?"_

_Before Lauren can answer, Madison snatches the Frisbee from Lauren's hand and throws it rather violently towards the beach. Lauren makes a face at her, but runs away to recover her Frisbee._

"_Next time, you should snap your wrist more, like this," Mac suggests with a fake smile._

_Madison turns towards her. "Who the hell are _you_ to tell _me_ what to do, anyway?"_

_Mac, suddenly furious, stands up. She's had enough. "_I'm_ the girl who should have been living in _your_ house. _I'm_ the girl who should have been driving _your_ car. _I'm_ the girl who should have been going on trips with _your_ family," she snaps._

"_Ok, are you going to start making sense at some point?" Madison asks, looking bored._

"Your_ parents are _my_ parents Madison." Mac gestures to Lauren, on her way back. "_Your_ sister is _my_ sister. We were switched at birth. Ask your parents if you don't believe me."_

_Madison's face falls. She is staring at Mac, looking incredibly confused and vulnerable. Very Un-Madison. Mac regrets her outburst immediately. She snatches her towel and her bag off of the beach and runs away before Lauren gets back…_

Mac hadn't been able to stop thinking about it since it happened. But she hadn't told anyone. Veronica was the only one who knew about her and Madison. And she knew that Veronica would be there for her in a second if she ever asked for it, but she didn't want her friend to be disappointed in her. She had told Madison about their parents to _hurt her_. There was no other way to spin it. Besides, Madison was such a touchy subject for Veronica. She didn't want to open old wounds. So for now, she'd just keep it to herself.

**xxXxx **

The following Wednesday morning, Mac and Veronica sat in the food court, grabbing some breakfast before they went to their respective classes.

Veronica was putting the finishing touches on an essay for her _Profiling_ class. She started rifling through her bag, pulling out various items. "Why can I never find anything in here?" she complained.

"Um, maybe because your bag is the size of Vermont?" Mac suggested.

"Funny," Veronica replied.

Something that she'd just taken out of her bag caught Mac's eye. It was an essay entitled "_Silent Noon: An Interpretation_". The only weird thing about it was that the byline said "by Logan Echolls". _Interesting. _She looked away before Veronica could see that she'd noticed it.

"Hey, Veronica," she said. "Check out that guys t-shirt."

Veronica looked up from her search and turned to where Mac was pointing. "'Trees are the Answer'," she read. She raised an eyebrow at Mac. "But what is the question?"

"What can be either coniferous or deciduous?" she guessed.

Veronica laughed. Something else seemed to have caught her eye. She gestured towards someone a couple of tables over from them. "Hey, that girl is pretty, right?"

Mac looked over to see a girl with wavy brown hair with red streaks in it. She was talking animatedly to another girl at her table.

She turned back to Veronica. "Very," she agreed. "Is this your way of suggesting I go back to red streaks in my hair? Because I'm kind of digging the blonde."

"No, I just wanted an outsider's perspective." Off Mac's confused look, she said, "She showed up at Piz's thing the other night. You know, when he played at Valentine's? Anyway, I got the definite vibe that she was into him."

"Uh-oh. Do I need to make someone's bank account disappear?" she asked, her voice low.

Veronica laughed. "No. Actually… I don't know, it didn't bother me. I mean, I'm flattered that someone else likes my boyfriend, but…"

Mac reached across the table and put her hand on Veronica's forehead. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Hey, you should be proud of me. I guess this means I'm getting more mature," Veronica said. But her expression was troubled. She looked at her watch. "Ugh, I have to go. This guy is a real stickler for being on time. Maybe I should petition to have Landry teach us the class from prison."

"Good luck with that. I should get going, too." Mac gathered her belongings, and she and Veronica said their goodbyes.

A few minutes later, she walked into her _World History_ class. She headed towards her normal seat in the back with Logan, noticing that a leggy blonde in a very tight t-shirt was leaning over his desk. As Mac took her seat next to him, she overheard the girl giving Logan her number.

"No, Ashlee. With two E's," she corrected him.

Logan hit a few buttons on his phone and slid it into his pocket. Then he turned towards Mac, without another glance at the girl beside him.

"Soy Chai latte," he said, handing her a drink with a rather dramatic flourish.

"Thanks," she said gratefully, taking a sip. As she'd started to get to know Logan better, the thing that had surprised her the most was his thoughtfulness and generosity. They hadn't mentioned that part in _The Tinseltown Diaries_. "So don't forget, this Friday at McGill's. You're still coming, right?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world… Cindy." He gave her big grin. He'd been teasing her mercilessly about her real name since the first day of class, when the Professor had called out "Cindy Mackenzie" in roll. Logan had turned to her with a slow, diabolical smile when she'd answered "here" in a very small voice.

"So," he continued. "Do you want me to bring the Zebra _inside_ the bar with a big bow on it, so you can show it off to all of your friends? Or would you rather me see if the valet will let me park it outside?"

Mac didn't answer; she was distracted. The girl, Ashlee, was still lingering, trying to get Logan's attention. Finally, she touched his arm. "So, I'll see you around Logan."

He turned back to her briefly, and nodded. "Sure thing."

Ashlee sauntered back to her seat at the front of the class, making sure her ass winked with every step she took. It was wasted on Logan. He wasn't even looking at her.

Mac rolled her eyes at him.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Only _you_ would be picking up girls in History class, at like, 10:30 in the morning," she said under her breath.

"I don't know what you're talking about. She was asking me for directions," Logan said cagily.

"Um, to your pants?" she asked.

"In a roundabout way."

**xxXxx**

For the past three years, Mac had dreaded celebrating her birthday. It brought up so many thoughts about her family, and the life that she could have led. But this year, Mac was having a blast. All of her favorite people were there celebrating with her. Their group had dominated the jukebox all night, making sure they weren't stuck listening to crap. _And the shots are probably helping too._

She stood at the bar between Veronica and Logan, who were seated on bar stools. She'd been a little nervous about the two of them being in such close proximity all night, but they seemed to be getting along fine. _Of course, Piz isn't here yet. I really hope Logan can behave himself, when he gets here._

"We need some more shots over here, when you get a sec," Veronica said to the bartender. He walked over and looked at her expectantly. She turned to Mac. "What's your poison, birthday girl?"

Mac thought for a second. "Sex on the Beach?" she said. The bartender nodded and walked away.

Veronica and Logan glanced at each other.

"What?" Mac said defensively. "It's good."

"Fantastic," Logan agreed, still looking at Veronica.

"Pretty…amazing," she conceded, smiling back at him.

Mac looked back and forth between the two of them, taking in Logan's half-smile, and the way Veronica's eyes were sparkling. "Okay, ew," she said.

Logan and Veronica laughed. The bartender set three shot glasses down in front of them and poured. They each reached for one and clinked glasses.

"To Cindy!" Logan said, grinning. Mac scowled and Veronica chuckled, and they all downed their shots. "Mmm," Logan said to Veronica deliberately, "Just _delicious_."

"Okay, gross, I'm leaving," Mac said. She grabbed her beer off the bar and walked back to their table. She could hear the two of them laughing as she walked away.

Mac liked giving them a hard time; but she was _really_ leaving because she wanted to give them time to talk, alone. She liked Piz, she did. He was a really nice guy, and he treated Veronica well. But the truth was, she secretly wanted Logan and Veronica to get back together. Now that she'd gotten to know Logan better, she was finally starting to see why the two of them made so much sense together.

But just then, Piz walked in, and Veronica quickly left her place at the bar to say hello. Mac watched as Logan ordered three more shots. He downed one, then grabbed the other two and headed over to the table. He handed one of the shots to Piz. "I believe I owe you a drink," he said. "And you need to catch up."

Veronica leaned over and whispered to Mac. "Um, are we in Bizarro World?"

"Thanks," Piz said, eyeing Logan a bit cautiously. They clinked glasses and downed the shot. Piz coughed. "Whiskey?" he asked, his eyes tearing slightly.

"A man's drink," Logan affirmed, clapping him on the back with maybe more force than entirely necessary. Veronica shot him a murderous look, but he just smiled pleasantly back at her.

_Oh, boy_, Mac thought.

But Logan sat down next to Wallace, and the two of them were quickly engrossed in a conversation about basketball. Piz took a seat between Veronica and Max, and started telling them both a story about a crazy caller on his radio show. Mac relaxed.

The night continued on like that, everyone taking turns buying rounds and bringing them back to the table. By midnight, they were all pretty buzzed. Mac looked up at one point to see Logan sitting by himself at the bar. He appeared to be drinking scotch, and Mac knew that couldn't be a good sign. He was staring at Veronica and Piz. "I'll be right back," she told Max.

She walked over to Logan and sat down next to him. Neither of them said anything for a minute.

"You know," Logan said, his expression serious, "I used to think of you as Veronica's friend. But we're friends now too, aren't we?"

"Duh," Mac replied.

"You've been a good friend to me, Mac." He tapped his glass against hers. "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks. Now stop being Emo Logan and come sit back down at the table with us," she joked.

But he didn't answer her. He just continued watching Piz and Veronica, his expression thoughtful. "Something is different about those two."

Mac had noticed it too. She studied them for a moment, trying to pinpoint what it was. _It's Piz_, she realized. _According to Veronica, he's not big on public affection. But since he got here, he hasn't taken his hands off of her. _He'd lightly touch her arm, or absently play with her hair. Or lean in and kiss her on the cheek. _And it's not in a gropey, possessive way, either, like it's for Logan's benefit_, Mac thought. _It's kind of a quiet affection; a newfound, shared intimacy. Well, that makes sense. Their relationship has reached a new level._

She looked back at Logan, determined to lighten the mood. "Are you suggesting they were taken over by aliens?" Mac teased him. "Or that they're robot versions of themselves? Because a Veronica-bot would be pretty frightening."

Logan smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. She grabbed his arm and pulled him off the barstool. He let her lead him back over to the table. Mac saw Veronica look up, then glance down at her hand on Logan's arm, and then look away. But when they got to the table, Veronica stood up.

"Ok, everyone. Raise your glasses. To Mac: The bestest friend and roommate a girl could have!" she said.

"So say we all," Max said.

Logan laughed. "So say we all." He tapped his glass against Max's and downed the rest of his scotch. Then he sat back down at the table.

Veronica gave Logan a look.

"It's a BSG reference," he explained.

"I'm aware. Since when do you watch _Battlestar Galactica_?" she asked. "I thought you hated Sci-Fi?"

"You wouldn't understand," Logan said, smirking.

"Um, Six is hot?" Veronica guessed.

"Okay, you do understand," he laughed.

Mac saw Piz watching their interaction, his brow furrowed. "Oh, please, Veronica," she spoke up. "Why don't you tell them why _you_ watch?"

"Umm, how about because it's a quality program, with fantastic acting and writing, that deals with important themes about humanity, religion and predestination?" she responded, arms crossed.

Logan raised an eyebrow and gave her a half smile. "You think Lee Adama is hot, don't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Veronica said innocently.

"She likes Sam too," Mac piped up. "And Helo."

Veronica gave her a look. "You're lucky it's your birthday."

Mac laughed.

Time went a little fuzzy for her after that. The next thing she remembered, she was sitting at the table with Veronica. They were alone. She looked around. Wallace, Piz, Max, and some guy she didn't recognize were all playing darts. Logan was standing at the bar talking to a blonde girl who looked familiar. Veronica was staring at them, her expression dark.

When she noticed Mac watching her, she turned to her with a smile. "Hey, sleepyhead," she said.

"Did I fall asleep?" Mac asked, surprised.

"For a little while. Don't worry, no drool," she teased her. She glanced back towards the bar. "Hey, do you know who that girl is?"

Mac looked at the girl more closely. "That's Ashlee," she realized. "With two E's. She's in _World History_ with me and Logan."

Veronica took in that information silently. "Listen, I think we're gonna get going, it's really late. Do you want to catch a cab with us back to campus, or are you going over to Max's?" she asked.

"Max's," Mac answered, yawning.

"And you guys have a safe way to get there?" she made sure.

Mac nodded. She glanced over at Logan, and then back to Veronica. "You know he still loves you, right?" she said, slurring a little.

Veronica looked back at Logan and the blonde girl. "Clearly," she said sarcastically. She gave Mac a tight smile and a quick hug. "Happy Birthday."

"You too," Mac said sleepily. She rested her head on her arms and fell back asleep.

**xxXxx **

Mac walked into her room the next afternoon with a splitting headache. She still had her sunglasses on. She popped her head around the wall in the middle of the room to see if Veronica was home. She was, sitting on her bed reading a book.

"Hey," she said. She gave Mac a knowing look. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I went down a rusty drain, and into the sewer, and then got spit back out again," she answered, collapsing into Veronica's desk chair.

Veronica looked at her sympathetically. "Well it was a fun night, at least. I think everyone… had fun. You know?"

"Yeah..." she replied, waiting for Veronica to continue. But she didn't. Mac looked more closely at her friend. She was looking back down at her book.

Mac sighed. "Ok, I should probably be offended, but I'm not because it's you. And given what happened with Parker, I want you to know for sure."

"What are you talking about?" Veronica asked.

"Veronica, there's nothing going on with me and Logan. Truly."

"I didn't think there was," Veronica said, embarrassed.

"I know you didn't. Not really. But I know it crossed your mind at one point last night, and I don't want you to think for a _second_ it's ever crossed mine. Or his, for that matter. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a guy. He's actually, kind of like my brother, in a weird way. My brother that I run an ass grading website with," Mac joked.

"Mac, I really didn't suspect anything," Veronica said apologetically. "It's just weird; he usually doesn't _take_ to people like he has to you. You guys seem really close." She sounded a little sad.

Mac shrugged. "We have more in common than you'd think."

"Right, the ass thing," Veronica said, managing a small smile.

Mac laughed. "Right. And you. And… well, Cassidy."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"You can talk to me about him, you know, if you ever need to," Veronica said tentatively.

"No, I can't," Mac stated. "And that's okay." She smiled, and Veronica smiled back. Strangely, the realization that there were things that they couldn't talk about made her feel closer to her friend than ever.

"So," Veronica began, trying to be nonchalant, "did Logan end up leaving with that girl I saw him talking to?"

Mac hesitated. "He did. I mean, she gave him a ride home. Which was good, because he was way too drunk to drive home at that point." She wanted to say more. _But what more can I say, after that?_

Veronica nodded. She closed her book and got up. "Ok. Well I gotta boogie. Shift at the library. Dinner later?"

"Absolutely."

Mac stared after her friend. She'd really thought, when she'd seen Veronica and Logan together last night, that they'd find a way to work things out. But Veronica had gone home with her boyfriend, and Logan had gone home with Ashlee. _I should know better,_ Mac thought. _There's no such thing as happily ever after._

The dorm phone rang loudly and gave Mac a start. She walked over to answer it.

"Hello?"

There was silence on the other end.

"Hello?" she repeated, a bit annoyed.

"Is this…Mac?" a female voice asked hesitantly.

"Yeah," she answered.

There was another moment of silence. Just when she was about to ask who it was, the voice on the phone finally spoke up.

"Hello, Mac. This is Margaret Sinclair. I was hoping we could talk."

**A/N Up next…Logan! If enough people review, it might motivate me to get the next chapter posted by Christmas… ;)**


	5. Logan I

**A/N As promised, Logan! I hope everyone enjoys this. I had a lot of fun writing Logan. I just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has been reviewing. The last chapter got a big response, and it really meant a lot to me. You guys are amazing! I worked extra hard to get this posted quickly, as a thank you to all of you. Please continue to tell me your thoughts on this story. And for those who celebrate it, have a Merry Christmas :)**

**Chapter 5**

Logan

_Veronica and Logan are standing in the hallway outside of class. They're bantering back and forth, like always. Veronica is giving him a mischievous smile. She's wearing a black mini-skirt and a white tank top; her hair is in pigtails. She looks incredible, and it's driving Logan insane._

"_Well, I better go. I have to get to class," she says._

"_Sure."_

_But as she turns away, he impulsively grabs her and pulls her back to him. Before she can protest, he wraps both of his arms around her and kisses her passionately. To his pleasure and surprise, she responds by kissing him back fiercely. She runs her hands up and down his body; her fingers tangle through his hair. He breaks away from her and presses his forehead to hers, looking down into her eyes. They are ignited with passion._

"_Follow me," he says._

_She doesn't hesitate, just takes his hand and lets him pull her back into the classroom. He closes the door behind him, praying there isn't another class on their way in. He lifts her up onto one of the desks, and thinks it'll come in handy that she's wearing a skirt today._

"_Logan," she whispers in his ear. "I need you."_

"_Oh, Veronica…"_

"What did you just call me?"

"Huh?"

It was dawn, and he was in a small, cluttered room. A very pissed-off looking and very naked blonde was pushing him off of her.

"My name is _Ashlee_," she said with disgust. She rummaged around and found her top, then pulled it angrily over her head. She pointed to the door. "Get out."

He sighed. It had happened again.

There was no point in arguing with this girl, he knew that from experience. _Well, it did work that one time down in Cabo, with that chick Monica. But she wasn't exactly the brightest star in the sky._ Logan took his time gathering up his things and getting dressed, just to piss this girl off more. He wasn't sure why he did things like that. She did have every right to be mad at him, after all. He just didn't care.

He zipped up his jacket and gave her a bright smile. "Clearly, you have no sense of humor."

She threw a shoe at him. "You're an _ass_hole!"

He ducked, gave her a big wave, and headed out the door. He heard a loud thud against the door as he closed it, and he laughed out loud. _She must have thrown the other shoe_. _Now… where the hell am I?_ It took him a few minutes to get his bearings. His car was nowhere in sight. _Where was I last night? Oh, right. Mac's party. McGill's_. _Veronica was there, with Piz. Enter Ashlee._

McGill's was too far away to walk to. So instead, he started walking west, towards the beach. After just a few moments, he was already deep in thought.

Being with other women used to help him forget about her, at least temporarily. Even that wasn't working any more.

Sometimes he hooked up because well, he was a guy; he had needs. Most of the time, it was because he missed her. But last night… well, that was specifically to get a rise out of her. Because he'd been angry, and hurt, and drunk. He knew it was an ugly, asshole thing to do. He knew it was immature. And the worst part was that he knew, even as he was doing it, that it wasn't really going to help anyway. But, there it was.

He didn't know when that girl from his class had first shown up. Before Piz had gotten to the bar, when Logan had Veronica all to himself, King Kong could have been sitting down next to him and he wouldn't have noticed. Logan had let himself get caught up in it, allowing himself to believe for just a few moments that she was _his _again. And the way she'd been looking at him, smiling, even flirting… well, as always, she'd made him feel the way no other woman ever could.

But then came reality: Piz arrived. So Logan had looked around the bar for a distraction. He saw the girl, Ashlee, playing a game of pool with her girlfriend. When she spotted him looking at her, she gave him a bright smile, and made a big show of bending down low to make a shot, showing off her cleavage. Ugh. It was just the type of shit Kendall used to do. And not very original. Most women were incredibly predictable.

Logan had no thought of pursuing her. At first. Yet, as the night had gone on, seeing Piz with his hands all over Veronica had made him want to break things. Like Piz's neck. But (and he knew this from experience) that kind of behavior wasn't going to do anything but push her even farther away. So he dealt with it by trying to make Piz feel uncomfortable. He brought up private jokes that he had with Veronica, bought Piz shots he knew he couldn't handle, hoping he'd get sick and make a fool of himself. It had been mildly amusing, but none of it had helped. Not really.

When he'd realized that Veronica had slept with the kid, well, that had stung. Not that he thought Piz would be any real competition in that department. No, he was confident that that _boy_ couldn't even come close to satisfying her. Veronica was, well…he'd met his match with her. A slow smile spread across Logan's face as he remembered times past. But it faded quickly, as his thoughts went back to Piz.

He knew he shouldn't be surprised about it, but somehow he was. Logan knew what a big deal sex was for her. Which had somehow made it that much more special between them. The fact that she felt close enough to Piz to be intimate with him like that…he wasn't sure what that meant, and it had upset him. So, in the end, he'd grabbed the closest warm and willing body that he could find. And the closest bottle.

In Logan's typical fashion, he'd made the situation even more awkward by hooking up with a girl from one of his classes. He could hear his dad's voice in his head all of the sudden, saying, "Son, don't shit where you eat." Not the worst advice his father had ever given him, actually. _But Aaron should have taken his own advice, _Logan thought bitterly. _If he had, Mom might still be alive. And Lilly._

Logan stumbled off of the sidewalk and onto the beach. _I'm still drunk_, he realized. He kicked off his shoes and sat down on the damp sand. It was high tide, and the waves were crashing violently. He watched them, enthralled as always by the vast and mysterious beauty of the ocean.

His phone rang and he looked down to see a picture of Dick's smiling face. Perfect timing.

"Dude, where you at? Let's hit the waves."

"Crescent Beach," Logan replied. "Get your ass over here."

"What the hell, man? The surfing blows over there."

"Yeah, well it looks pretty sweet right now. Listen, stop by my car and grab my board and suit, will you? It's in front of McGill's."

"Sure."

"You still have the spare I gave you?" Logan asked.

"Yup."

"Good. Don't forget to lock it this time. And bring me something to eat."

"Be there in twenty."

Logan tossed his phone aside and stretched out onto the sand. He came to Crescent Beach a lot. Especially on days when he was feeling overwhelmed. Which, lately, was most days. Seeing Veronica regularly again… well it was never boring, that was for sure. But it wasn't always easy. This game he was playing, it was dangerous. For more reasons than one.

His life hadn't stopped. He was still breathing, going to classes, going to parties, hooking up._ But thoughts of her are laced into everything I do. _That last breakup had been tough; he'd barely made it through. In fact, each breakup had been exponentially harder than the one before it. He was fairly certain he couldn't go through _that_ again. That's why this time, Logan was done chasing after her. This time, _she_ would come to _him_. He'd had a revelation that day in the cafeteria, the day he'd taught that Russian prick a lesson.

_When I looked at her in that moment, I knew the truth: I'm hers. I will always be hers. And she is mine. Even if we're never together again. I'm not fighting it anymore. I know now that I love her, that I'll always love her. Veronica is it for me. She's all I've ever wanted or needed. It's pointless for me to even try and have a relationship with anyone else. Parker was a mistake. A failed experiment. And I do feel badly about that. _

_Who knows, I may be able to move on, eventually. Maybe. But it's impossible for the time being. Pointless to try. So all I can do is be here, be her friend, be me, and hope that she realizes that she can't live without me, either. Because _she's_ the one with the issues, not me. She's the one who's so terrified of loving me that she hides behind another man. So I'm done trying to be what she _thinks_ she wants me to be. I'm going to be myself. And if she can finally accept me for who I am, then maybe we'll actually have a shot._

No, he was done trying to change for her. If there was something that needed changing, he'd do it for _himself_. Not that he didn't want to be a better man. He did. Logan had flaws, and he knew that well. But so did she. He could accept her flaws. She had to accept his. And she had to forgive him for everything, _everything_, this time. Because when they got back together again, it had to be forever. If it wasn't, well…

Logan ran his fingers through the sand, uncovering the darker sand below the surface. _I know she still loves me. I saw the look she gave me that day. And I see the way she _still_ looks at me, even last night. But she's stubborn, and she's got it in her head that it can't work between us. She still has so much resentment towards me; that's the part that kills me. I just have to trust that she has it in herself to let it go. _

Veronica had so much love inside of her. Most people didn't know that, couldn't see it. She locked her emotions up so deeply inside of herself, Logan was sure sometimes even she forgot. But Logan had seen it. He had felt it. She used to give her love so freely, before Lilly had died. She had been warm then. People thought she was cold now, but that wasn't true. That warmth was still inside of her, she just needed someone to coax it back out again. She needed _him._

Logan inhaled deeply. He really did love this place. Just being here, in this spot, made him feel calmer, made him feel safe. She had once told him that she felt safe with him, and he felt exactly the same way. Just being near her, sometimes, made him feel more at peace. Even when they weren't getting along. Her nearness gave him comfort. This place, Crescent Beach, it felt like Veronica to him. It felt like home.

So, yeah, he would go on living his life. He would enjoy himself as much as he could, while he waited for her. Of course, that was easier said than done. Sometimes, like last night, he still got jealous and just _reacted_. Sometimes, he couldn't sleep, thoughts of her racing through his mind. And sometimes, he couldn't resist giving her a nudge in the right direction…

Veronica thought he'd been joking when he said he'd bribed someone for her schedule. He hadn't. In order for his plan to work, he needed to make sure they were around each other as often as possible. So he'd turned on the charm with the redhead at the Registrar's Office, and gotten her to give him Veronica's schedule.

The Lit class was the only thing even remotely believable on her schedule that he could sign up for. _That part of my plan is going even better than expected_, he thought with a smile. _We're studying the Romantics, with an emphasis on love? I couldn't have asked for more._ _It's got Veronica totally off-balance, which is exactly where I need her._

Something suddenly dropped into his lap, bringing him back to the present. He looked down to see a grease-stained red and white paper bag.

Dick stood over him. "It's a Double-Double."

"You got me In-N-Out Burger?"

Dick tossed him a Heineken. "And a beer. Breakfast of champions."

Logan shook his head at him, but popped open the can and took a swig.

"Dude, you look like ass. Rough night?" Dick asked, sitting down beside him.

"You could say that," Logan said. He unwrapped the burger and took a big bite.

"I hear that, man. You remember that chick in Rio, Rachel?"

"Nope."

"I banged this chick last night who looked just like her. She even had a mole in, like, _exactly_ the same spot on her boob. It was kinda weird. Like it was her Doppelbagger."

"Doppelganger," Logan corrected him.

"Well, all I know is I Doppel-_banged_ her," he said, laughing and elbowing Logan in his side.

Logan took another swig of beer. "I thought you and Melinda were trying to work things out."

Dick shrugged. "We are. You better not tattle to her sister like a big _girl_. I'm not getting ratted out by an eight year old."

"Heather's twelve," Logan told him, his mouth full of burger.

"Whatever. So what'd you get up to last night?"

"It was Mac's birthday. Went out. Got drunk."

"What the hell man? How come I wasn't invited?" Dick asked.

"Um, because Mac hates you?" Logan suggested.

Dick didn't say anything right away. He looked away from Logan and out towards the ocean. "Yeah, well that makes sense," he finally said.

Logan ate the last bite of his burger and wiped his hands on his jeans. He shouldn't have brought up Mac. Dick acted weird lately every time her name came up. It was even worse when she came over. He would hover around them, driving Mac insane while she tried to work. The last couple of weeks, Logan had been arranging it so they'd meet when he knew Dick wasn't going to be around.

He wasn't sure what the deal was, and he wasn't sure he wanted to ask. All he knew was that it had to do with Beaver. Logan clapped his buddy on the shoulder, trying to snap Dick out of his mood. "Thanks for breakfast, man. I'm gonna go change, then we can hit the waves."

Dick just nodded at him and looked back out to the ocean.

_I'm batting a thousand today. And the sun's barely even up yet. Well done, Logan._

**xxXxx**

Mac sat down next to him in _World History_ the following Monday.

"It's Mac the Knife," he said.

"And Logan the Tool," she replied, without missing a beat.

He grinned. Mac was just as quick with the comebacks as Veronica; he loved that about her. Logan's smile faded a little as he saw Ashlee walk passed him. She shot him a look of absolute loathing. He couldn't help feeling like a total dick. But he kept on smiling.

Mac caught Ashlee's look and glanced over at Logan. "I'm sensing there's a story there?" she guessed.

Logan thought for a minute. If he told Mac, there was the definite possibility that it would eventually get back to Veronica. _But is that a good thing or a bad thing? Would she be flattered or disgusted?_ For some reason, he was pretty sure she'd be flattered. It would appeal to her possessive nature.

"Can you keep a secret?" he asked.

"If I couldn't, a lot of people would be in a _lot _of trouble," Mac replied.

Logan leaned closer to her. "I said someone else's name. While we were, you know, hooking up. I think it might have offended her."

"You think?" Mac couldn't help laughing. "God, that's so bad. What did you call her?"

Logan gave her a look. "What do you think?"

Mac's eyebrows shot up. "_Oh_."

Logan shrugged. "It wasn't the first time," he muttered.

Mac bit her bottom lip. "I don't think I should know this."

Logan chuckled, but took pity on her and changed the subject. "So Friday was fun," he said.

"I seriously don't know how you drink like that all of the time. I didn't feel human again until Sunday," Mac said.

"That's because you're a Cylon."

"Har-har." Mac tapped her pen on her desk, looking thoughtful. "Ok, so since we're sharing… I want to ask you something."

"Shoot."

Mac leaned closer to him and lowered her voice. "When you and Veronica were dating… did she ever have nightmares?"

Logan looked at Mac, surprised. "Are they starting up again?"

"You know her, she never talks about it. And I wouldn't normally bring it up, it's just- I'm just worried about her. But I hear her sometimes, at night, crying in her sleep. A couple of times I heard her calling out a name," Mac said quietly.

Logan was concerned. The same thing had happened after Senior year. She would shake in her sleep, or cry quietly. Sometimes she woke up yelling: Dad! Lilly! Mom! Or, sometimes, Logan! He'd asked her about that one, of course. But she would never tell him what it was about. Every time he felt her start to tremble in her sleep, he would hold her and rub her back. Sometimes that would work well enough that she didn't wake up at all, just drifted into a peaceful sleep.

On the nights when she woke up screaming, he would stroke her hair and whisper soothingly until she fell back asleep. It had been every night, at first. But they soon became less frequent, and eventually, they were gone. _What does it mean, now that they're back again? What's going on in that head of hers?_

He glanced at Mac, who was watching him silently as she waited for his reply. It felt a little strange to talk about Veronica with someone else who actually cared about her. He'd never had that. The only other friend he'd had who was also close with her was Duncan; and when Logan had been dating Veronica, the two of them hadn't been on speaking terms. _This is different. Kind of nice._

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked Mac.

She nodded.

"Can you let me know if it gets worse?"

Mac studied him for a moment. "Sure," she agreed. "I knew you'd want to know."

**xxXxx**

Logan sat in his Lit class the next day, chewing on his pen cap. Veronica hadn't arrived yet. He had no idea what to expect from her today, and he was a little on edge. He could have really screwed things up, talking to Ashlee in front of her like that. Normally, he tried to be more discreet with his extracurricular activities.

But on Friday, seeing her with Piz… well truthfully, it had pissed him off. He knew she wasn't ready to come back to him yet; and he'd been pretty patient with her, he felt. _But I'm not a fucking Saint. Parade another man in front of me, I'll do the same back to you…_

_Logan is sitting at the bar, sipping on his Scotch. He's watching her. She's telling Wallace a story and Wallace is laughing. She seems to be in a great mood._ Must be nice.

_Veronica looks up at him and he glances away. She's heading towards him. He takes a deep breath before she gets there, readying himself. _

"_Hey, what are you doing over here all by yourself? Come hang out." She tilts her head and smiles at him, and he has to look away._ She is so damn beautiful.

_Logan's about to accept, when_ he _shows up out of nowhere._

_Piz puts an arm around her waist and kisses her on the cheek. "Hey, babe. You ready for another one?"_

_Veronica turns toward him. Her boyfriend. "Sure," she says easily. But she glances back at Logan. She looks uncomfortable._

_Ashlee chooses this moment to saunter over to him. "Hey, stranger," she says. She sits down on the barstool next to him. She is between him and Veronica now._

"_Hey," he says, glancing at her briefly._

"_So you want to grab breakfast in the morning?" he hears Piz ask._

"_Yeah, that sounds good," Veronica replies._

"_So," Ashlee says, nodding toward the pool table, "do you feel like playing a game?"_

I already am.

_He catches Veronica glancing over at them, so he rises to the occasion. "Well, that all depends. Are you going to play with me?" he asks, raising an eyebrow and smiling suggestively._

"_It wouldn't be much fun if I didn't," Ashlee replies._

_Piz walks away. Veronica is still standing there. Her face is turned away from him, so he can't see her expression. He wonders why she hasn't left yet. Usually, she loves running away from him. Suddenly, Veronica walks over to him and Ashlee with purpose._

"_Hi," she says to Ashlee._

"_Hi," Ashlee says, a bit taken aback._

_Veronica looks back at Logan, waits for a moment. When he says nothing, she says, "Okay, well when you're ready… we'll be over there." She indicates the table. Logan sees that Piz is sitting there again, waiting for her. He just can't deal with that right now._

"_Sure," he replies. As she walks away, he turns his attention back to Ashlee. "I'm in. Show me what you've got."_

_Ashlee smiles and rises from the bar stool. Then she takes his hand and pulls him up. He grabs his glass off the bar and allows her to lead him over to the pool table…_

Reality was starting to hit him. Veronica had a vicious jealous streak. He'd caught her glancing over at him and Ashlee several times, after that, and she hadn't looked particularly thrilled. _What if she stops speaking to me all together?_

Before he could completely compose himself, she walked in the door. To his surprise, she smiled and headed towards him. She set her bag down on the floor and sat down at her usual desk, next to his.

"Hey," she said.

Her tone was completely normal, and he couldn't help smiling to himself. _She certainly keeps me on my toes._ "Hey," he returned.

"So how's the suite life with Dick and Logan?"

"And how long have you been waiting to use that one?" he asked with a wry smile.

"Only, like, a week," she replied with a grin. "Although I'm a little concerned that you got the reference."

"That makes two of us," he laughed. "Uh, it's a little like living with Homer Simpson, actually. Yesterday I opened up the fridge and found an 'IOU Beer' note in there."

"Did he at least spell 'beer' right?"

"Yeah, he's pretty good with the 4-letter words. Anything larger than that, I need a Dick-to-English dictionary."

Veronica laughed. But then her expression changed, and she looked down at her desk. "So, I wanted to ask you…Why didn't you introduce me to your friend the other night?"

"My- oh." Logan raised his eyebrows at her. "Why, were you looking for a new Zumba buddy?"

Veronica smirked. "No, I just-" She took a deep breath. "Are you embarrassed of me?"

"What?" Logan asked, completely surprised. "Why on earth would I be embarrassed of you?"

He could tell that Veronica was uncomfortable. But she smiled and shook her head. "Forget it." She reached into her bag, busying herself with taking out her textbook and a notebook.

Logan kept looking at her, waiting, clearly not about to let it go.

Finally, she lowered her voice and said, "Because of, you know, the video."

_Ah, the video._ What Veronica didn't know, what she would never know, was that no one on campus remembered that it was her, anymore. Not since Logan had spent the end of last semester and a good portion of the summer talking about "Suzy". _One of my better ideas, I think._ He'd talked to nearly every person he'd met about Suzy. Bragged about how he'd hooked up with her the same day she was caught on tape. Talked about how freaky she was, how she'd do anything you asked her to do.

Shortly afterward, he'd started to spread stories about how Suzy's parents had found out about what she'd been up to, in college. How she'd had to transfer schools, to avoid shaming them any further. Now, as far as all of Hearst was concerned, Suzy was a bit of a legend. Being with her had become a status symbol. Not a single person, aside from her friends, was now aware that Veronica was actually the one on that video.

"That's ancient history, Veronica. I'd never be embarrassed of you," he told her.

Veronica bit her lip and looked away. He watched her as she watched Professor Jayne, who was walking around the room and passing out their graded _Silent Noon_ essays. Logan knew she wanted to say more, so he waited. After a few moments, she continued. "So it's just, you don't want her to know that we're, like, 'friends' or whatever?"

"So we're air quotes friends? Not actual friends?" he asked. He was avoiding the question. _Does she think I'm actually _dating_ Ashlee? That it's serious?_

But Veronica knew how to avoid questions too. "Logan, if you don't want to tell me, just forget it."

Logan rolled his eyes at her. "Look, sometimes I don't remember my 'friends' names. Okay? And you can't exactly introduce someone when you're not sure what their name is. But I do remember my _friends'_ names. _Veronica_," he said pointedly.

"Fine, then," she replied. But she was smiling.

Professor Jayne placed his essay on his desk, face down. He turned it over to see he'd gotten an "A".

"Well done, Mr. Echolls. You're lucky I found it. I almost gave you a zero," Professor Jayne told him.

"Huh?" he asked.

"It seems I misplaced your essay. It wasn't with the rest of the batch. Luckily, I noticed it on Thursday. It had somehow ended up in the outside pocket of my bag." She shrugged and moved on down the aisle.

Logan looked over at Veronica, but she was studying her notebook intently. _Did she take my essay? Did she read it?_ He watched her as she avoided looking at him, and felt certain that she had. He smiled. _Good. It was about her, after all._


	6. Veronica III

**A/N Sorry for the slightly longer than normal wait. There's been a lot going on (I got engaged!) and this chapter is kind of a monster. Literally twice as long as one of my normal chapters. Thank you for all of your incredible reviews! Enjoy…**

**Chapter 6**

Veronica

The day was overcast and a bit cool. Veronica shivered and zipped up her hoody as she walked towards the beach. She had a little time before she had to be at the weekly Mars/Fennel dinner at Wallace's house, and she'd decided to drive over to Crescent Beach.

Veronica had come to really look forward to Sunday dinner at the Fennel's. Alicia was a fantastic cook and Darrell was a sweet kid; she'd enjoyed getting to know both of them better. It was also a nice way to unwind and recharge before an inevitably hectic week. Although this time around, they were meeting on Saturday instead of Sunday; her dad had to leave for Vegas the next morning. Wallace had offered to drive her over, but Veronica told him she'd just meet him there. She had been so busy with school, work, Piz… she felt like she desperately needed some alone time.

She walked out onto the beach and sat down in the dry sand. She came here a lot, to think. Crescent wasn't a very well-known spot among tourists. It was really more of a local hideaway. The beach had gotten its name because of its half-moon shape, which also made it feel very secluded. It was partially enclosed by palm trees. Although it was a public beach, the rocky ocean floor and the lack of swells ensured that neither sunbathers nor surfers wanted much to do with it. Veronica had always loved it here.

It was a peaceful place, and being here always seemed to put her in a better mood. She'd been coming to this beach since she was a child, but nowadays she thought of it as her and Logan's place. They had spent a lot of time here together, and she couldn't help but be reminded of him every time she came. He was never far from her mind, lately. Veronica smoothed a flat hand over the sand, already lost in thought.

Last Friday, Mac's party, had been pretty tough. She'd spent the rest of that weekend struggling with the emotions that had welled up inside of her that night, trying to find some resolution. Things had seemed different with Logan, in the beginning of the night. She'd started to wonder if maybe things really _could_ work out between them. She'd started to wonder if maybe she'd been wrong about them. Her resolve was beginning to crack. And then, she'd seen him with that girl, and everything had changed.

Veronica had been so proud of herself, just a week before the party, thinking that she was resolving her jealousy issues. She'd been honest with Mac when she'd told her that she really wasn't jealous of Emily. Truly, she'd been pretty impressed with herself. Because the girl was beautiful, and obviously had a lot in common with Piz. _Wow_, she'd thought. _I really am growing up._

But seeing Logan with Ashlee had made her feel like she'd been punched in the gut. When she'd thought about it, the next day and the next, she'd realized it had only ever been Logan who brought out that side of her. She'd never felt that pang when Troy or Leo or Duncan had spoken to another girl. _And clearly, it's not happening with Piz either. But just the _thought_ of Logan with anyone else makes me feel ill. Physically ill. _

_Maybe that's why I reacted so violently, when I found out that he'd slept with Madison. The thought of _his_ hands running down _her_ body, _his_ lips gently kissing _her_ neck… Ugh. I still feel nauseous just thinking about it. _

Veronica dug her fingers into the sand, not even caring that it was getting caked under her nails. _"Well, as a friend, he's not too big on the one-piece numbers." That's what she said to me. Did Logan tell her that, while they fooled around? Was she wearing something that turned him on? Or maybe, they were hooking up the whole week he was there? Maybe she found that out through trial and error? Madison must have been around him an awful lot for her to discover that kind of information…_

_But __why does it matter, Veronica?_

She didn't know why it mattered, but it did. She stared out at the grey ocean, trying to find the answer to her own question. _Sex is so_ personal_. I don't understand how it can't be. People always talk about situations where it's "just physical", but I don't get that. Not really._ _What can be more intimate than being naked with someone else, exploring your bodies together? There _has_ to be an emotional connection when you share something that intimate, right? And why would Logan want that kind of connection with _Madison Sinclair_?_

Veronica shivered again, but it had nothing to do with the chill in the air._ Why do I continue to torture myself with this? It's over between us now. I have to let this go. I have to let _him_ go. _It was probably for the best that the blonde girl, Ashlee, had come into the picture when she did. Veronica had felt like she'd been crossing over into dangerous territory with Logan, that night.

_It felt like it used to be with the two of us. So relaxed, so easy. Like… well like we belonged together, as trite as that sounds. _Veronica had found herself starting to wonder if she was making the right decision, staying away from him. Even after Piz had gotten there, she'd still wondered if maybe she'd been wrong.

_Piz and Logan in the same room together… Oh boy, _that_ had been fun. Logan certainly reverted to form when Piz got there. Not that I can really blame him for that. It was an uncomfortable situation for all of us. And… it was almost like Logan could tell that we'd slept together. But that's impossible._

Her thoughts traveled to her current boyfriend. Being with Piz, it was- nice. They'd slept together twice now. _No, three times,_ she corrected herself. He was very cautious with her, like he was afraid she might break. _Logan was never cautious. Not that he was rough…_ _Well, okay, sometime he was rough. _A wicked smile crossed her lips. _But never in a bad way._ He could also be heartbreakingly tender, at times.

Logan had seemed to understand, innately, what she'd wanted. So when he'd scoop her up off of the couch in the middle of watching a movie and throw her down onto the bed, it was perfect. And when he'd wake her up in the morning by sprinkling gentle kisses down her body, well, that was perfect too. Veronica shrugged it off. It was like Mac had said, they were just different. _Knowing what the other person wants without asking, that must be something that comes with experience._ _I don't have the history with Piz that I have with Logan, so I'm sure that's normal. We'll just have to work on it._

It was thoughts like these that had made Veronica realize, last weekend, that she was a total hypocrite. She constantly found herself thinking about Piz one minute and Logan the next. It certainly wasn't fair for her to get upset with Logan for sleeping with someone else, when she was doing the same. The fact that she still got jealous when she saw Logan with other women… well that was her issue, not his.

_And my jealousy is proof that I was right to stay away from him. That's exactly the kind of destructive, negative behavior that we seem to bring out in each other. I get jealous, suspicious, irrational… He gets possessive, moody, violent… We both seem to lose all sense of self-control around each other, and I just can't have that. _

Veronica had to face reality- Logan was a single, attractive, college guy; and he had every right in the world to be with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Veronica certainly didn't like it, but she understood it. And she couldn't hold it against him. They weren't together anymore, and she was with Piz now. _Who I care about _very_ much_, she reminded herself forcefully. So although her first instinct had been to avoid Logan after the party, she'd decided instead to try to move past it and just act as normal as possible when she saw him in class.

In truth, Veronica was very happy that she and Logan had a class together this semester. She liked being able to spend that time with him; even found herself looking forward to it. But being around him wasn't getting any easier. Her body still had a physical response to his presence. If he was within twenty feet, her heart sped up, her breathing got shallow. It wasn't always easy to hide that from him. _But I do still want him in my life. I want us to be friends. And I want to be able to forgive him, so I can move on. How else will I be able to really him go? How else will I be able to truly commit to Piz?_

_Of course, if I _really_ want to move on, I need to stop sneaking around and stealing his essays. That's not normal "friend" behavior._ _I mean, I'm not sneaking around and stealing Wallace's essays, or Mac's._ Veronica wasn't sure what had compelled her to do it. It had been a spur of the moment decision, which is why she'd been so sloppy. She was sure Logan knew she'd taken it. _He probably thinks I'm pathetic._ But he'd taken pity on her and hadn't said a word about it after the professor walked away.

It had been a really well-written analysis. Veronica had to admit, she was a little surprised by how good it was. Logan was one of the smartest people she knew, but he was a perennial slacker when it came to schoolwork. The tone of the essay had surprised her even more. There were some truly beautiful lines in it, like he was writing a poem himself. She felt certain that, like her, Logan had also had that day in Rosedale Park in mind when he'd written his essay…

_The poem evokes a sense of sensuality, love, and above all, serenity…Rossetti's repetition of the words "silent" and "hour" help to illustrate the poem's theme, which is that an afternoon of silence with your lover can speak love's truth more powerfully than words…"Your eyes smile peace". Here the author shows that no words, nor even a movement of the lips, are needed for him to understand that his lover is happy and at peace. Her smile is visible only in her eyes, and is silently expressed for him alone…_

_The sky is alive as it billows, scatters and amasses. The clouds are in continual movement, surging and swelling together, and then breaking apart. The rhythm of the clouds in the sky suggests sexuality, and induces the feeling that there is an intense passion between these two lovers... The "winged hour", an hour that has soared by so quickly, yet felt as though it were outside of time, seems to the poet as a gift directly from heaven. The angels themselves have allowed him to spend this timeless hour alone with his love…_

_Yeah,_ Veronica thought. _Reading stuff like _that_ is definitely not gonna help me get over him._ But she couldn't help it. She'd read it over and over. At least it seemed to mean that he still thought about her, still remembered their time together fondly. _But if he still had feelings for me, he wouldn't have gone after Ashlee in front of me like that. He knows me well enough to know how much that would upset me. Logan told me himself that it wasn't serious with them, but I know they slept together that night. Was that just his way of trying to show me that he's over me?_

Yes, it seemed he really had moved on. So the next time they'd seen each other, she'd put on a happy face; and now it was back to status quo between them. A potentially explosive situation had been diffused.

**xxXxx**

_Something is up_, Veronica thought. Her dad was acting weird. _He's been in a good mood lately, but this is a little ridiculous._ Keith hadn't stopped smiling all night. It was making her very nervous. _He even shrugged it off when I admitted to losing that GPS tracker, and those suckers aren't cheap._ When Alicia had told Darrell to go play in his room for a bit after dinner, Veronica knew she'd been right. She felt her body tense. She did not like change.

They all sat around the dining room table for a moment, staring at each other.

"We have news," Alicia finally said.

Veronica and Wallace exchanged looks across the table.

"And we wanted to talk to the two of you as soon as we could about this," she continued. She turned towards Veronica's father. "Keith?"

Keith smiled benevolently at her and Wallace. "We've decided to move in together."

_Oh. _Oh._ Well I guess that's not so bad._

"O-kay. Where?" Wallace asked, ever practical.

"Well, we talked about that a lot," Keith said. "And really, neither one of our places is entirely suitable."

"We found a house, a really nice place just a few blocks from here. I think you'll both really like it," Alicia told them. "There's even a pool."

"We're moving out of the apartment?" Veronica asked her father quietly. She was surprised at how much the thought upset her. She'd hated that place, at first. It had represented everything that had gone wrong with her family. And it was so much smaller than her old house had been. _The kitchen is tiny, there's no washer and dryer. And there's never any freaking hot water._ But, somehow, it had become…home. A safe haven. Veronica chewed on her bottom lip, determined not to show her father how upset this was making her.

"Well, hang on," Wallace said. "Me and Veronica are really only here in the summer. If I crash in Darrell's room, Veronica can take my room. Then we wouldn't have to go anywhere."

Veronica was surprised to hear her best friend offer to give up his room and share with a nine year old._ He must not be loving the idea of moving, either. _

Alicia looked from Wallace to Veronica, and then back to Keith. "We'd better tell them."

Keith nodded at her and smiled. He looked at Veronica with an almost hopeful expression.

"We're going to have a baby," Alicia said, smiling widely.

Veronica and Wallace traded open-mouthed looks at each other. "You're going to have a- what now?" Veronica said.

"A baby," Keith answered happily, even though he knew it was a rhetorical question. He reached for Veronica's hand and squeezed it. "You're finally going to be a big sister."

For once, Veronica was speechless.

"We were going to wait until I was a bit farther along to tell you," Alicia explained. "It's considered high-risk, because of my age. But we didn't want to keep you two in the dark any longer."

"What about Darrell?" Wallace wanted to know.

"We're going to tell him about moving, but we'd like to wait to tell him about the baby. In case there are… complications," Alicia explained to her son.

Wallace looked worried. But like Veronica, he stopped himself from saying anything else.

Alicia could sense that her son was concerned, so she gave him a gentle smile. "I had a checkup yesterday. Everything is completely fine."

"We got to listen to the baby's heartbeat for the first time," Keith told them, smiling proudly at Alicia.

"How far along are you?" Veronica asked, getting her voice back.

"Eleven weeks. We wanted to wait until after the first trimester to tell you, but we had to make a decision on the house more quickly than we'd expected," Alicia answered.

Veronica just nodded, still feeling completely overwhelmed. Alicia, who seemed to have an uncanny knack for sensing her moods, asked Wallace to help her with something in the kitchen. This left Veronica and her dad alone. Keith turned his chair to face her.

"I know this is an awful lot of change for you right now. If we could have done this more slowly, I would have," he said apologetically. "But we couldn't be happier about this news. I really hope that you're okay with all of this."

Veronica took a deep breath and nodded. She gave her father a small smile. "I am. It's just- a lot, you know?"

He nodded. "I understand."

"Well… Congratulations!" She got up and gave her dad a big hug.

"Thank you." When they broke apart, he searched his daughter's eyes for a moment before continuing. He lowered his voice. "Honey, there's something else I need to talk to you about."

"What else is left?" Veronica asked. She sat back down. "Are you joining a rock band?"

"Sadly, no," Keith smiled.

Veronica felt sure she didn't want to hear this next batch of news, so she babbled away nervously. "We're not taking this act on the road are we? Like the Partridge family? If so, we'll need matching outfits…You know I'm not the best sewer in the world, but I'll pick up some red and gold fabric tomorrow and give it my best shot."

Her father smiled at her indulgently, aware of her tactics. But then his expression grew serious. He cleared his throat. "When I found out that Alicia and I were going to have a baby, well…" He shrugged and turned both of his palms up. "You know me, I'm old-fashioned. And I'm in love. I want to ask Alicia to be my wife."

Veronica stared at him, trying to think of what to say. But before she could, her father continued speaking.

"I started looking for your mom, so we could finalize the divorce," he said. "Veronica, I found her."

Veronica exhaled a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding.

"She's agreed to sign the papers, uncontested," he told her.

"That's good," Veronica said shakily.

"It is," Keith agreed. He put his hand on her shoulder and patted it comfortingly. "Honey, she wants to see you."

Veronica looked away from him and out the window. She watched a squirrel leaping from branch to branch on the lemon tree outside. She took another deep breath and looked back. "How is she?" _Such a loaded question._

Keith sighed. "The same."

_And a loaded answer._

Veronica nodded. "Okay. Well, I'll have to think about that."

"Of course. I'm just passing along her message."

Wallace and Alicia came back into the dining room. Veronica stood up and walked over to Alicia. "I'm sorry, I was a little surprised before. I should have told you, congratulations." She smiled and the two women embraced.

"Thank you, Veronica. I know this is a big change, but I'm so happy that our families are growing together." Alicia squeezed her hand.

Wallace nudged her in the side and flashed her a big smile. "Don't forget, I called top bunk!"

**xxXxx**

"Dad!"

Veronica woke up with a start, sweating lightly. She looked around, confused. Her alarm clock glowed a red 12:05. _Oh my god, I slept so late!_ She was sleepily searching for her slippers when she looked out the window and saw that it was still dark. She lay back down, relieved.

_At least I didn't wake up Mac again._ Her roommate was staying the night over at Max's, so Veronica was alone. She brushed a few damp strands of hair out of her face. Her heart was still racing from the adrenaline of the nightmare. She knew she wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep any time soon.

_Logan used to hold me when I had a nightmare, help me get back to sleep. He always took care of me, even when I told him not to. I miss him._

Veronica wasn't sure where the thought had come from. But she was too exhausted to feel badly about the fact that Logan was the one who she wanted around right now, not her boyfriend. She felt very small and vulnerable all of the sudden, like a child. The darkness of the room seemed to mock her. It had been a tough day. When she'd gotten back from the Fennel's, she'd called Piz to tell him that she wasn't feeling well, and then she'd gone to bed early.

Without thinking, she grabbed her phone off of her nightstand and dialed his number. The phone rang three times before she became aware of what she was doing and decided to hang up.

"Hello?" His voice always sounded so much deeper over the phone.

_We're friends. There is nothing wrong with this._

"Hey. I'm sorry to call so late. Are you in the middle of anything? I don't want to bother you." The horrifying thought had just occurred to her that he could be _with_ someone else right now. If she heard a woman's voice in the background, she didn't know if she'd be able to handle it, in the state she was in.

"You're not bothering me. What's up, Veronica?"

Veronica hesitated.

Logan laughed briefly. "I'll have you know that I got up out of bed and went alllllll the way across the room to answer my phone. So you better spill."

"I… I was going to ask you what you're up to right now. But I don't have any right in the world to expect you to just drop what you're doing when I call."

"Hmm," Logan said. "Well, I'll have to cancel two press conferences and reschedule my flight to Tokyo, so it _is_ a bit of an inconvenience. No wait a minute. I'm pretty sure I just admitted to being in bed already at…12:08 on a Saturday night. So…" Logan paused. "Swing by."

Veronica thought about that, about how it would be to go to his suite again. Just the two of them, after hours… _I'm feeling vulnerable enough as it is. Probably not the best idea for me to be alone with Logan tonight. Besides, way too many memories at that place. _

"Can you meet me at the bar down in the lobby?" she asked. And then, to cover how nervous she was, "Will twenty minutes give you enough time to do your hair?"

"Oh, the wit. Even at midnight. Yeah, I'll see you then."

**xxXxx**

Logan was sitting at the bar already when Veronica arrived, nursing what looked like a scotch. He wore black and grey pajama bottoms, a plain black t-shirt and flip flops without a hint of embarrassment. _Well, he lives here. The bar must be kind of like his living room. _Veronica smiled when she realized everyone else in the bar was dressed in their finest. If his state of dress upset the hotel staff, she knew none of them would dare say anything to him.

He didn't notice she'd arrived until she sat down on the bar stool next to him. He took one look at her and said, "Oh boy. Let me guess: you'd rather be spelunking?"

Veronica set her bag down on the bar and gave him a tired, but genuine, smile. She couldn't believe the things he remembered, sometimes. "Ohhh, so close. Cave diving."

"Hmmm. Well, technically, I think cave diving falls under the umbrella of spelunking. It's all about exploring tunnels and crevices, right? And really, what's so bad about that? I always enjoy a little…exploration." He raised an eyebrow at her playfully and sipped at his drink.

The double entendre wasn't lost on her, but she didn't have the energy to play along tonight. Veronica shrugged and said with false cheer, "You know how much I love enclosed spaces!" She immediately wished she hadn't said it. Now, she knew, they were both thinking about how his father was the one who had made her claustrophobic. _Trapping someone in a refrigerator and lighting it on fire tends to do that._ It wasn't her intention to make him feel uncomfortable, especially after he'd been nice enough to meet her for a drink in the middle of the night.

But Logan made no sign that what she'd said had upset him. He just stirred his drink and motioned for the bartender.

The bartender walked over to them. "What can I get for you, Mr. Echolls?"

Logan looked at Veronica for a moment, considering. "Dirty martini?" he guessed.

"You're good," she smiled at him, shaking her head.

"I know," he smirked. He turned towards the bartender. "She likes it _extra_ dirty."

The bartender nodded, realizing he meant extra olive juice. But Veronica saw him wink at Logan as he walked away. She couldn't help but wonder how many times a similar scene had been acted out at this very bar.

Veronica played with a loose strand of hair while she waited for her drink. Logan watched her, patiently sipping his scotch. The bartender poured her martini and walked away.

She took a few sips of her drink, enjoying the way the alcohol warmed her from the inside. _Careful, girlie. You don't want to end up like dear old Mom._ She swiveled on her stool so she was facing Logan. "So, my mom is… somewhere. I mean, my dad knows where she is, and I guess she wants to see me…"

"And you don't want to see her," he stated.

"I'm a heartless bitch." _But you knew that already. _She twisted her stool so that she was facing towards the bar again, and sucked on one of the olives from her drink.

"Because you don't want a warm and fuzzy reunion with the woman who abandoned you, betrayed you and stole from you?" Logan asked dryly. "I think even Mother Theresa would cut you some slack on this one, Mars."

Veronica looked at him sideways, under her lashes. "I wasn't sure you'd understand. Since, your mom, you know-" She cut her sentence short when she saw the pain flicker across his face, immediately regretting that she'd brought it up. _That's twice now that I've accidentally made him feel bad tonight._

Logan finished the rest of his scotch in one gulp and motioned to the bartender to refill his glass. He turned towards Veronica, a tired smile on his face. "We both had the misfortune of being born to weak-willed women." He chuckled as he accepted the drink from the bartender. "Say that five times fast."

She laughed too, easing the tension. He held out his fresh scotch and she clinked her glass against his. _Cheers to having shitty mothers._ She took a long sip from her martini. It was almost gone.

Logan's smile faded. He reached out and hesitantly touched her arm. "They were supposed to protect us. _They're_ the ones who failed _us_. Don't feel guilty for wanting more. You deserve it." He moved his hand off of her arm.

Veronica looked at him, a bit surprised by what he'd said. "Yeah," she agreed, thinking. Deep down, she had always felt like her mother had left them because they hadn't measured up to her expectations. She hadn't really considered that it was actually the other way around.

Logan gave her a slightly sleepy smile, his eyes shining from the drink. "So let me ask you something."

"Shoot."

He propped his elbow up on the bar and rested his chin on his hand. "Why is it, do you think, that you always put yourself in danger?"

As usual, he'd caught her completely off guard.

"Um," she paused, then laughed. "It's an occupational hazard, I guess." She finished off her drink and Logan motioned the bartender over again. _We're keeping him busy tonight._

Logan shook his head. "Nope. That's not it." He took his elbow off the bar and spun towards her, setting his feet down on either side of the bar stool that she sat on. Just slightly invading her personal space. "Sometimes, you intentionally put yourself in situations that you don't have to be in. Like the night when I saw you at the Pi Sig party. When you figured out it was Mercer, you went to that girl's room by yourself. You didn't have to do that. You could have waited for someone to go there with you, like your dad or someone from the Sheriff's department." He said the next part a bit accusatorily. "You could have called _me_." He took another gulp of his drink.

"Okay," Veronica conceded, rolling her eyes. "So I'm impetuous sometimes. You should talk."

"Maybe," he shrugged. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear. "Or maybe you have a death wish."

"What?" she said, laughing. The drink was making her feel off-balance. Or maybe, it was a combination of the drink and Logan. He was still dangerously close to her, less than a foot away. He always had a very physical presence, but when he got close to her like this, she found it hard to think straight.

She leaned away from him just slightly, and he took her cue and leaned backward as well. But he continued to watch her, his expression intense. _I don't have a death wish. The danger sometimes comes with the territory, but I don't seek it out. Well, not usually._ She sipped her drink. It was possible he was right, just a little bit. _Okay, maybe I occasionally push my luck… And I don't hate the adrenaline rush, I can admit that. It does make me feel more alive. But I don't have a death wish._

"I don't have a death wish," she repeated aloud. "But I do have a need to right wrongs. Maybe…" She shrugged.

"Maybe what?" he prompted.

"Maybe it brings a little purpose to my life, trying to help people. Maybe it helps me feel like I'm, I don't know, bringing balance back to the universe." She stirred her drink absently for a moment, and then took a sip. She turned to face him. "After Lilly died, and after Shelly's-" She paused, swallowed and started again. "After I was raped, I went to work for my dad."

He nodded, not looking away. Silently urging her to continue.

"Mostly it was just paperwork, you know. But sometimes, I got to work on a case that really made a difference in someone's life. Actually made things better for them. I guess I like that feeling," she admitted.

He nodded again. His eyes hadn't left hers yet. "I can understand that, Veronica. It makes sense. And it's important to keep doing what you love. You really do help people; I know that from experience. But when you risk your life like that-" He took a deep breath, glanced away and then looked back. "If something had happened to you, do you know what that would have done to your dad? To me? Do you know how worried I was, that one day your nine lives would run out? Or that your dad and I wouldn't be there to save you if you needed us, if something went wrong?" He shook his head, eyes dark.

"Veronica," Logan began. He leaned closer to her again, and put his hand on her forearm. But he didn't continue his sentence. They looked at each other for a full minute without saying a word. She felt weird again, off-balance. It was the alcohol; she didn't drink often. She felt warm, and the spot on her arm that Logan was touching felt almost electric. _Oh, boy. Maybe this was a mistake._ Logan was so close; their knees were touching, and the side of her hand grazed against the soft flannel of his pajama bottoms. She could smell the alcohol on his breath mixing with a hint of his cologne; a very masculine scent. He was looking at her intently. She gazed back at him, looking from one of his eyes to the other.

He squeezed her arm once and got up abruptly. "I'll see you in class, okay?" He downed the rest of his scotch and dropped a hundred dollar bill on the bar. "Those were on me. No argument."

"Yeah, okay." She was too tired to put up a fight. As he turned to leave, she said, "Hey, Logan? Thanks."

He nodded, his expression still dark. "Good night, Veronica."

"Night Logan."

She watched him as he walked away. He'd given her a lot to think about.

**xxXxx**

Veronica blinked in the morning sunlight. She lay still for a few moments, wondering if she'd really gone to see Logan at the Grand last night, or if it had been a dream. It had felt almost like a dream, kind of hazy but intense. She sat up, and her head started to pound slightly. She could smell a hint of alcohol on her own breath.

_Not a dream._

She remembered now. She had finished her drink, contemplating what Logan had said to her and wondering what it was that he _hadn't_ said to her. Once she'd risen from her bar stool, she'd realized that drinking two martini's in a matter of twenty minutes or so had officially gotten her too drunk to drive. She'd ignored the little vodka-loving devil on her shoulder, who'd suggested that she down another drink and make use of the penthouse keycard she still had in her wallet. _Go ahead_, he'd urged. _Logan is just one elevator ride away!_ Veronica had actually taken three or four steps towards the elevator when the slightly less drunk angel on the other shoulder had spoken up. _Don't be a whore_, she'd scolded her. _You have a boyfriend!_

_And this is why I don't drink, _Veronica had thought, giggling to herself.

Veronica called a taxi and went back to the dorms. She'd fallen asleep instantly and hadn't had any more nightmares.

She yawned and stretched, not ready to get out of bed and face the day yet. Veronica thought about what Logan had said to her last night, about having a death wish. _No, it's not true_, she thought again. _But sometimes, Logan, danger comes to me…_

_It is early summer, and Veronica is at the apartment alone, packing. Her father is at the office, meeting with Cliff to discuss his case. Veronica hears a knock on the door. She opens it distractedly, and is stunned to find Clarence Weidman standing there. _

"_Miss Mars," he greets her._

"_Mr. Weidman," she acknowledges. She does not invite him in._

"_I'd like to speak with you for a moment. I believe we have some time before your father gets back from his meeting with Mr. McCormack. May I come in?"_

_Veronica studies his face, which is, as always, unreadable. She doesn't like that he wants her to know that he knows where her dad is. She doesn't like that he's keeping tabs on her family like that. But she doesn't say anything, just opens the door wider and holds out her hand to show her assent._

_He steps inside. She sits down gingerly on the couch; he sits in her father's chair._

"_I know you're a busy woman, so I'll get right to it. I believe that I may be able to offer you a solution to your father's… legal difficulties."_

"_I'm listening."_

"_As you can well imagine, the Kane's have a strong desire to reunite their family. We are actively seeking a solution to their son's… legal difficulties."_

"_Boy, you just love that phrase."_

_He ignores her and goes on. "What I tell you now remains between us. You tell no one, not even your father."_

_She watches him carefully, but his expression still reveals nothing. Her curiosity has gotten the better of her once again. "Agreed."_

"_As you know, the Manning family is very religious. What you may not know, is that about a year ago, the Manning's and eight other families split from the church they were affiliated with. They're calling themselves 'The Church of the Blessed Savior'. Their views are, shall we say, extreme. They've spent the last year organizing and recruiting members, and their numbers have swelled to over two hundred."_

"_Okay," Veronica says slowly. "Interesting, and creepy, but what does this have to do with my dad?"_

"_Stew Manning believes himself to be the second coming of Jesus Christ. The other members believe this as well."_

"_So Stewism is the new religious craze, eh? And here I was really crossing my fingers that Veronicaism would take off."_

"_Miss Mars, the federal government believes that this religious organization is responsible for the recent string of terrorist attacks against the Muslim and Jewish places of worship in southern California. They are actively investigating the Manning's organization, and more specifically, the Manning's themselves." _

"_They're the ones who have been setting the fires?" Veronica gasps._

"_Yes."_

"_People have died!"_

"_Yes."_

_Veronica is always surprised by the fact that she can still be shocked by the horrific things that people do. The thought of sweet Meg's parents setting fire to a building, knowing that people were inside, maybe even listening to them scream before they left…_

_She takes a shaky breath. "I still don't understand where I fit in."_

"_Although your methods differ greatly from my own, you have a knack for getting the job done. I've come to expect great things from you, Miss Mars. I would like your assistance in gathering information about the Manning's."_

"_I have to say, I'm a little touched. What would you need me to do?"_

"_Well ideally, I'd want you to infiltrate the organization. But being that you have a history with the family, that's an impossibility. I understand that you're heading to Quantico tomorrow."_

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, let's breeze right past the part about how you know that and move on to the part where if you're going to ask me to dig up documents at the FBI, there is _no way_-"_

"_All I want to know is what _they_ know. I need leverage. I can't risk going to them with information that they already have. We're talking about getting Duncan complete immunity. I need to give them something big."_

_Veronica takes a deep breath. On the one hand, the Manning's and their band of merry arsonists were clearly psychotic and needed to be stopped. _And_ she'd be helping her Dad out of a jam that she'd gotten him into in the first place. _And_ she'd be helping to get Duncan home. _And_ she'd have an awfully big IOU from the Kane family. On the other hand, if she got caught…_

"_I can't. I wish I could help, I really do. But this is my whole life we're talking about, my career. If they catch me sneaking around, I'm done. Cliff doesn't think they have much of a case against my Dad, and-"_

"_I used to be a fed. I can tell you exactly where to go and what to do. You'll be in and out in a matter of minutes."_

_Veronica hesitates. "How exactly would you be able to get my father off the hook?"_

"_Suffice it to say, the County Prosecutor is a close, personal friend of Mr. Kane. One telephone call to Mr. Redding will clear this right up."_

_Veronica is still thinking. She can't undo what she did, and she can't get her father back the Sheriff's job. She has to do this. She has to make things right._

_She looks at her watch. "Is twenty minutes enough time to explain how to illegally obtain information from the FBI? Because I really do need to pack."_

_Clarence explains to Veronica what she needs to do. He starts to leave, but she speaks up before he gets to the door._

"_Now I need to ask you for a favor."_

"_Continue."_

_She takes a deep breath. "It's about Gory Sorokin. Logan kind of…got into it with him, and now I'm worried that he's going to retaliate. I've been trying to think of a way to-"_

"_I'm aware of the threat that Mr. Sorokin made against Logan Echolls life."_

"_But why would the Kane's help out an Echolls, right?" she says defeatedly. _I'll just have to figure this out on my own.

"_Mr. Kane and I differ a great deal when it comes to how we view Mr. Sorokin's… usefulness. It's my job to weed out individuals who I don't believe should be accessible to Mr. Kane."_

"_Is that why they call you 'Weed-man'?" she jokes half-heartedly._

"_I began my own investigation into Mr. Sorokin's background when his visits to the Kane house became more frequent. As it turns out, Mr. Sorokin had a proclivity towards sexual encounters with very young girls."_

_For the first time, Veronica sees real emotion on his face. He can't hide his obvious anger and disgust._

"_I didn't think it was possible for me to hate him any more than I already do," Veronica says quietly. "Wrong again."_

_Clarence looks her in the eye. "I decided that his usefulness had expired."_

_Veronica looks up at him, mouth open in shock. "You mean-"_

"_You don't need to worry about Mr. Sorokin any longer, Veronica." He briefly touches her shoulder. "I'll be in touch."_

_And with that, he is gone, leaving Veronica staring open-mouthed at the door…_

She had managed to procure the information that he'd needed and copy it to a disc with a surprisingly small amount of difficulty. _All those years of stealthiness really came in handy._ He'd come to her dorm room a couple of weeks ago to pick it up. Veronica had been relieved to get it out of her possession; but that second meeting with him had been just as difficult…

Veronica's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her door opening and closing. She looked up to see Mac, poking her head around the corner to see if she was home. Seeing that she was, Mac walked over and sat down on the edge of Veronica's bed.

"Hey," Veronica said. "How was your night?"

Mac shrugged. "Me and Max…Things have been kinda weird with us lately. We decided to take a little break. Well, really- I decided."

Veronica leaned forward to give her friend a hug. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Mac gave her a small smile. "Yeah. I actually am. I mean, things aren't definitely over with us, I just need some time apart. I think we're just spending too much time together. And all of the back and forth, between his place and mine…" She shrugged again, then laughed when she caught Veronica's concerned expression. "I really am fine. You don't have to go around the room hiding all of the sharp objects or anything."

"Well that's a relief. I'm running out of hiding places, what with all of the booze and porn I'm already keeping away from you," Veronica joked.

Mac laughed. "So how was your night?"

"Interesting," Veronica answered. "After we pig out on quasi-breakup breakfast foods, my treat of course, would you mind driving me to my car?"

"Sure," Mac agreed. "Where is it?"

Veronica bit her lip. "At the Grand."

Mac raised her eyebrows and put both hands on her hips. "You really _did_ have an interesting night, didn't you?"

Before Veronica could answer, there was a knock on the door. Mac walked over and opened it to see Piz standing there.

"Hey," she greeted him, glancing over at Veronica a little worriedly.

"Hey." Piz smiled at her briefly and then walked over to Veronica's side of the room. Seeing that she was still in bed, he stood a couple of feet away, seeming unsure if he should proceed. "How are you feeling? Did I wake you up?"

"No, I'm up." Veronica smiled at him and gestured for him to come over.

He did, and gave her a hug and a quick kiss on the lips. "Wow," he said. "Were you hitting the Nyquil?"

"The-" Veronica stopped, realizing that he must have smelled last night's vodka on her breath. "You caught me," she said. "I thought it might be the flu, so I figured that would kick it right out of my system." She hated lying to him, but he'd caught her off guard.

"Well did it work?" he asked, stroking her hair away from her face gently.

"Like a charm." _I am the worst girlfriend in the entire world._

The dorm phone rang and Veronica heard Mac pick it up. She spoke to someone briefly, and came around the corner a minute later.

"Hey," she told Veronica. "That was Wallace. His computer just crashed and he's got a paper due tomorrow. I'm gonna run over there to see if I can do anything. Rain check on our breakfast pig-out?"

"Sure," Veronica said. "I'll pick up some chocolate goodies for later."

"Sweet. Oh, hey, do you need your car for anything now? Or can it wait until later?" As soon as Mac stopped speaking, Mac realized what she'd just said. She put her hand to her mouth and gave Veronica a horrified look. Piz looked at Veronica, confused, while Mac mouthed "I'm sorry" in the background.

"Where's your car?" he asked. His tone wasn't suspicious at all, just curious.

"It's… at the Grand," she answered, before she could think of anything else.

And then she saw it, briefly. A flash of concern, and hurt, crossed his face before he had time to mask it. He looked down for a moment, then back at her. "How did it get there?" he asked. "I thought you were going right to bed after we talked."

_I don't want to lie to him. I really, really don't. But I can't tell him. There is no good explanation for why you met your ex-boyfriend at a hotel bar after midnight. There just isn't. If I was investigating me, _I'd_ think I was guilty. And I know I'm innocent._

"I leant it to my friend, Jeannie," she told him.

"She lives down the hall," Mac added helpfully.

"Yeah," Veronica said. "Anyway, she had a few too many drinks at the bar and ended up leaving it there."

"She's a real pain in the ass," Mac piped up. "Always asking us to borrow stuff."

"Oh," Piz said. He sat down next to Veronica and gave her a very sweet smile. She could tell he'd bought it, and she felt awful. "Well I can drive you over there, no problem."

"Thanks," she said quietly.

Mac said goodbye quickly, clearly in a hurry to get out of there.

Veronica looked up at Piz. _God, I really do hate lying to you. _She put both arms around him and held him tightly. He held her back, and she closed her eyes. She allowed herself to take comfort in him for a few minutes, even though she knew she didn't deserve it. He had such a warm, solid presence. He rubbed her back gently and she listened to his heart beat. Steady, strong, constant. _I swear,_ she promised to herself silently, _no more sneaking around. No more lying. _

**xxXxx**

"So where did your friend leave the car?" Piz asked, pulling up in front of the Neptune Grand.

"She said it's in the parking garage, by the elevator. Level two. If you're in a rush, you can drop me off here."

Piz turned off his car. "No rush. I'll walk with you."

Veronica smiled at him. She was feeling guilty and clingy, and glad to have his company. They walked down the sidewalk towards the entrance to the parking garage. It was a warm and sunny day, and the shadows of the previous night seemed a distant memory to Veronica now.

"So," Piz began, "I've been wanting to tell you. I'm starting a band with a couple of people from class. You remember Emily, from, um, Valentine's? And my buddy Tristan? Anyway, it turns out that Em plays mandolin, so we wanted to try like an acoustic thing, maybe do a little bluegrass… We're not really sure yet, we're just gonna mess around and see what happens. Two guitars and a bass… Or maybe a guitar, a bass and a mandolin? We're gonna see what it sounds like. We might have to add drums or a keyboard, I don't know yet. But anyway, it should be pretty cool."

Veronica smiled up at him as they stepped into the cool, dark garage. She still didn't feel jealous, when he talked about Emily. She almost wished that she did. But she did feel happy for him, and proud. "It sounds awesome," she told him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I can't wait to hear you guys play."

"It'll probably take us a while to sound decent," Piz admitted. "We're meeting at Emily's house on Tuesday."

"Oh, she lives off campus?" Veronica asked. _Okay, I'm still not jealous; but I'm not an idiot, either._

"Yeah, with her parents. I guess they moved closer to the school so she didn't have to live on campus," Piz told her.

"Really? That seems a little… intense. Where did they move from?" Veronica asked.

Piz didn't seem to think it was a big deal. "I'm not sure, not too far away. She said she went to, um, I think it was Pan High?"

"But Pan isn't really that far from here," Veronica said. It seemed odd to her. _Why would a family pick up and move just to make their daughter's commute a little bit easier?_

Piz shrugged, entirely unconcerned. "Yeah, it was pretty nice of them, I guess."

They had reached Veronica's car. She was about to kiss him goodbye when she heard footsteps approaching. A blonde woman in a Neptune Grand uniform turned the corner and walked towards them. She looked up to see Veronica and Piz, and smiled.

"Hi, Logan's girlfriend," she said.

"Hey, Tina," Veronica replied with a smile. She glanced up to see that Piz had a less-than-pleased expression on his face. "Um, actually, it's Logan's _ex_-girlfriend, now," she corrected her.

"Ah," Tina said. She made to continue walking, then thought better of it and turned back towards them. "Hey," she said. "Logan mentioned to me that you're, like, an investigator?"

"Um, yeah," Veronica said, surprised. "Did you need help with something? I definitely owe you one."

"Actually, yeah," she said. "I was hoping maybe you could help out my brother. He's a professor over at Hearst College."

Veronica smiled. _This is so exactly what I need right now. A distraction from all of the craziness in my life._ "Go on."

**And…scene! Can't wait to read your reviews **


	7. The Assassin

**Chapter 7**

Clarence

Clarence Weidman was a good neighbor. He kept his yard impeccably neat and tastefully landscaped. He was the person his neighbors would turn to when they were going on vacation and wanted someone to keep an eye on things. He was well known around the neighborhood for his yearly Fourth of July Barbeque, to which everyone in a three block radius was invited. He made his own barbeque sauce, his father's recipe, and he'd jar up a little extra for anyone who asked nicely.

Clarence Weidman was a family man. He had three children- two sons and a daughter. He never missed a dance recital or a school play. He coached little league and soccer. Every year without fail for his anniversary, he got his wife four dozen long stemmed red roses, one of which he would place on her pillow with a jewelry box.

Clarence Weidman was a model employee. He never missed a day of work. He was always on time. Always professional. He remembered everyone's birthdays, and the names of everyone's spouses and children. But he absolutely never mixed business with pleasure.

Clarence Weidman was a patriot. He had served his country well in the Army, and then in the FBI. He was single handedly responsible for bringing down some of America's most dangerous criminals. He was universally respected and well-liked among both his peers and his superiors.

Clarence Weidman was a killer. He had killed more than he could count in the line of duty. And for that, he was considered a hero. But there had been times when American justice had failed to balance the scales; and on those occasions, he'd had to place the counterweight on those scales himself. He had gone outside of the law to do what was necessary. _Yes, I am a killer._ _But I'm not a murderer. And there is a difference._

The last two men who he had killed, for instance, had been more than worthy candidates for his signature bullet through the temple. Aaron Echolls and Gory Sorokin. Gory's nocturnal activities were particularly distasteful to Clarence, who'd had personal experience with his type before. He knew the dangers of allowing someone like _that_ to live; someone who had too much power and too much wealth, and absolutely no sense of right and wrong. Clarence never killed unless he had proof that it was justified. In Gory's case, he had seen that proof first hand, and it had made his stomach turn.

As for Aaron Echolls, well the whole world had known he was a philanderer- but that wasn't quite enough to deserve dying for. Duncan had told Clarence that Aaron was physically abusive to his son, and possibly to his wife Lynn as well. Duncan was sure about Logan, but had no proof about his mother; only suspicions based on remarks Logan had made, and the strange way Lynn often acted around Aaron. As far as Aaron being a murderer, well, Keith and Veronica Mars had said it was so. And as far as Clarence was concerned, their word was good enough for him. So when Duncan had made the call two years ago, he'd been more than happy to oblige.

_Murderers do seem to come from the areas you'd least expect, _Clarence mused._ Murderers, rapists, terrorists… Look at this family here. Father, watching television in the living room as the mother and daughter make dinner in the kitchen… _Clarence watched them for a moment. The daughter was chopping something on the kitchen island, telling her mother a story. Her mother was laughing as she stirred something in a large pot.

_No, people would never suspect that there is anything wrong here. Unfortunately, I know the truth._ Clarence glanced back at the father, now nodding off in front of the TV. _But_ _I'm not going to get anywhere tonight. _He turned his key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb, waiting for a moment before he put his headlights on.

As Clarence drove, he found himself wondering what Veronica would think if she knew that _he_ had been the one who'd shot Aaron. _The man who murdered her best friend, who had tried to murder her, and her father… dead by _my_ hands, not his own. _Veronica was clever enough to know that it hadn't actually been a suicide. But she certainly hadn't launched any investigations into Aaron's death. So, she seemed to think he'd gotten what he'd deserved. Clarence knew that, like him, Veronica had a fierce desire for justice…

"_You've been ignoring my calls."_

"_Yeah, well I've been a little busy. First week of school and all."_

_Veronica glances up and down the hallway and ushers him quickly into her dorm room. She shuts the door behind them. She is alone, as he knows she will be. Her roommate, Cindy Mackenzie, is at her boyfriend's apartment on First Street. Clarence makes it a point to know such things. He knows far more than Veronica will ever be aware of._

_He remains standing by the doorway as she walks over to her bag and pulls out a CD case. She walks back and hands it to him. "Here. I hope it was worth it."_

"_Did you get caught?" he asks._

"_No," she admits grudgingly. "It was just as easy as you said it would be. A little scary how lax the government is, to be honest."_

_He admires her wit. He admires many of Veronica's traits. But his many years of training guarantee that his expression stays blank. "Did you look at it?" he asks._ Of course you did. You couldn't resist…

_She hesitates, but eventually nods._

"_And?" he prompts. Veronica clearly has something on her mind._

"_And it doesn't look like they've gotten very far in their investigation. Or that they're giving it high priority."_

"_Believe it or not, they do have bigger fish to fry. But when the attacks get worse, and I guarantee you they will, the FBI will definitely sit up and take notice."_

"_Have you been able to make any progress on your own?" she asks._

"_Much less than I'd hoped," he admits. "The Blessed Savior members are incredibly tight-lipped, especially the original members who know the most about what's going on."_

_Veronica plays with a loose strand of hair. "Look, I know you're Mr. Covert Ops and all, but if you could keep me in the loop on this I'd appreciate it."_

"_I'll consider it."_

_Clarence places the CD case in his breast pocket and turns to leave. Veronica speaks up before he gets to the door._

"_Hey, um… There's something that's been bothering me all summer. Something that I saw on the disc." Clarence can tell now that she is deeply troubled; he is surprised that he didn't see it sooner._ I'm impressed.

_"There's a name on that disc," she continues. "Rich Dodson?"_

"_Stew Manning's number two."_

"_Right, that's the info they had too. There was something that stood out about him. About him being arrested and imprisoned for running a… a child pornography website. Is that true?"_

_Clarence just nods, trying to keep the disgust off of his face._

_Veronica is speaking quickly now. "Well I've been thinking about Grace, you know, their youngest daughter. Does this guy have access to her? Is there any chance that there could be something, like, going on? Because the Manning's certainly aren't about to win any Parent of the Year awards, and I don't like the idea of that little girl being, just, alone, defenseless-" _

"_Veronica," Clarence interrupts her. She is starting to get really upset, and he needs her to remain calm and focused. "Tell me about the night that you and Duncan broke into the Manning house." He has been wanting to ask her this for some time now._

"_The night…Oh." She takes a deep breath. "They had Grace behind a secret door in her bedroom. She was sitting in there, in the dark. She could have been in there for hours... They made her write things in notebooks, like admonishments, over and over. She was terrified to leave that room; she said her father told her that she wasn't ready yet." Veronica looks away, towards the wall. "It was horrible."_

_Clarence is trying to keep his breathing calm as she speaks. When she finishes talking, she takes a moment and then looks up at him. "What will happen to Grace, if the Manning's are arrested?"_

_He has already given this some thought. "I really don't know."_

"_Meg mentioned that she had an aunt in Seattle, Aunt Chris, I think it was. Meg trusted her. Is there any way you can make sure that she gets custody?" Veronica asks him._

"_I'll see what I can do."_

_Veronica nods and smiles. "Thanks. If I can help, in any way, let me know."_

The time had come for Clarence to take her up on that offer. And he knew that she would come through for him. He saw something of a kindred spirit in Veronica. Like him, she was willing to step outside of the law occasionally to see that justice was done. _She'll try to get satisfaction within the law, for a time. But I have no doubt that she'll tire of the red tape, the politics. The fact that everything moves so slowly. Just like I did._

He recognized other similarities between them, as well. Clarence had an innate ability to compartmentalize. Specifically, he kept his family separate from his "other" activities. He had seen the same trait in Veronica. When she was on the hunt, she was single-minded in her thirst for the truth. She was resourceful. Veronica had managed to bug him in his own office when she was only sixteen years old. She had courage and tenacity. She had tracked down Amelia Delongpre without any help, twice. He admired her. Clarence had even told his friend Agent Daniels at the FBI that they'd be lucky to have her.

He didn't know if Veronica would ever actually kill anyone, at least illegally. Then again, he'd never thought that he would, either. _But if the motivation is strong enough, most people would be shocked to discover just what they are capable of._

When Clarence was fifteen years old, his sister Jenny was raped and murdered. She had been eleven. _Little Jenny, who always wore purple and wanted to be a Veterinarian when she grew up._ They'd found her body two days after she'd gone missing, left out in a field like an animal carcass. Her killer had never been found. _At least, not by the police._

Jenny had been his mother's baby girl, and she'd never gotten over her death. Two years after they'd found Jenny's body, they'd found his mother's, in the bathtub. She had slit her wrists. After that it was just Clarence and his father, who spent most nights drinking his demons away. Clarence focused on doing whatever he could to get out of Clayton, Mississippi. Studying hard, working hard, saving his money. After he'd gotten into Harvard, he'd never looked back.

Clarence parked the car and walked toward the tall building to his left. He walked with purpose; people were less likely to look at you twice if you acted like you belonged somewhere. He climbed up the stairs and walked down the hallway. He slowed as he passed room 207; the door was opening and a tall young man with black-framed glasses was exiting the room. Clarence continued walking down the hall. But when he got to the end of the hallway, he waited for a beat and circled back around.

He knocked on the door.

"What did you forget this time?" Veronica looked up, and on seeing him her smile froze. Wordlessly, she opened the door farther and gestured him inside. She shut the door and turned to face him, hands on her hips. "So. I take it you're not here to deliver my pizza."

"No. I'm here because I need your help. I've gone through all of the information on the disc, and I'm making very little progress. But I have discovered something that may be very valuable."

"Did you get the answer codes for my _Human Behavior_ test tomorrow?" she joked half-heartedly.

He ignored her. "There is a student here at Hearst whose parents are members of the Church of the Blessed Savior."

Veronica was clearly excited. Her cheeks got flushed and her eyes lit up. "That could be huge. Who is it?"

"Emily Watson."

Clarence saw the flash of recognition in her eyes even as she struggled to keep her expression blank. "Does that name mean anything to you?"

"Should it?" she asked casually.

"I got a copy of her course schedule. It seems that she's enrolled in a class with your boyfriend."

"Logan and I aren't dating anymore."

_I give her credit for trying._ "No, Miss Mars. Your _current_ boyfriend. Stosh Piznarski."

"Oh?"

"They are enrolled in a music class together." He watched her, but she didn't even blink. "I managed to break into the Watson's house, once. I got into Mr. Watson's office. I saw a file on the computer, but they came home before I had time to download it. I had to leave through a window, and I didn't have time to close it. Mr. Watson must have gotten paranoid, because the next time I attempted to break in, I found that they'd installed a security system. So I'll ask you again- do you know Miss Watson?"

Veronica sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I've met her," she admitted.

"Is there any chance that you could get access to her house?"

"No. Not a chance," she stated.

"Is there any chance that _he_ could?" Clarence asked.

"Piz isn't- no."

"Let me explain myself further. Paul Watson, Emily's father, is an accountant. If my suspicions are correct, he is the one pulling the strings, financially. Laundering the money that is financing their terrorist operations. If I can get access to their financial records, I can follow the money trail." Clarence paused. "This is exactly the type of information that I've been searching for."

Veronica chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully. "Look, I understand, I do. You know that I want these people to go down just as much as you do. But Piz doesn't do this kind of thing. He's not… I'm sorry, it's just impossible."

Clarence knew that he could play on her desire to do the right thing, to help. He felt the slightest bit of guilt for involving her in something that may be dangerous, but it was quickly overshadowed by his need for justice, and his loyalty to his employer and his family.

"Miss Mars, to date, fourteen people have died. Dozens more have been injured."

Veronica didn't say anything.

He continued, his voice earnest. "I just need him to copy that file to a disc. He'd be in and out in a matter of minutes."

"I just got déjà vu," Veronica said wryly.

"Don't forget about Rich Dodson, Miss Mars. People like him don't deserve a second chance."

Veronica bit her lip again. "I remember," she said quietly.

Clarence knew that he had planted the seed in her mind, and that was all he had come to do tonight. She spoke up before he turned to leave this time.

"Why are you so loyal to the Kane family?"

For the first time in front of her, he smiled. "Excellent benefits. And a very nice Christmas bonus."

"Naturally," she replied, rolling her eyes.

He turned and left her dorm, walking quickly down the hall, down the stairs and back out to his car. _Why am I so loyal to the Kane's? Well, that one is easy…_

_Jake Kane stands up as Clarence and his wife, Michelle, walk into his office at Kane Software. He smiles warmly at them and walks around his desk so that he may shake both of their hands._

"_Mr. Weidman, Jake Kane. It's so nice to finally meet you. Michelle has said such wonderful things about you, over the years."_

_Clarence, who has never met the man, is immediately impressed by his manner. He had no idea what to expect when Mr. Kane asked them to meet with him. "Call me Clarence," he tells Mr. Kane._

_Jake smiles again. "All right," he agrees. He gestures to a brown leather couch. "Please, have a seat."_

_They sit, and he lowers himself onto a matching brown leather chair across from them. He speaks to Michelle, at first. "Michelle, it has been such a pleasure to work with you for the last four years. Not only are you one of my most talented programmers, but you are an absolute joy to be around. You come in here every day with a smile on your face, and you always seem to brighten everyone's spirits."_

_Clarence can tell his wife is happy, and a bit surprised, to get such praise from Mr. Kane himself. "Thank you," she says genuinely, "I really do love working here for you, Mr. Kane."_

_Jake nods his head and looks from Michelle to Clarence, then back to Michelle. "I hope I'm not overstepping here, but I heard that your son is sick."_

_The smile fades from Michelle's face, and she nods. Clarence takes her hand. She clears her throat once. "Yes, Justin. He's two. He has JMML. It's a rare type of Leukemia. It's very…aggressive." _

"_I'm very sorry to hear that. I understand that some of your co-workers have taken up a collection for him?" Jake inquires._

"_Yes," Michelle answers. "My husband and I are trying to get Justin over to Germany. They're doing amazing things with stem cells over there, things that aren't legal in America. Justin's chances would go from 5% to about 50%."_

"_That's pretty incredible," Jake says. His gaze goes to a framed picture on his desk. "You know, I'm a father. I have a daughter, Lilly, and a son, Duncan. I can't imagine what you both must be going through." He turns back to them and leans forward in his chair, speaking intently. "I would do anything for my children. I would like you to be able to do anything for yours. I'd like to offer to pay for your trip to Germany, as well as the treatment that your little boy needs."_

_Clarence finally speaks, starts to say that there is no way they can accept his generous offer._

_Jake interrupts him. "Please, before you say that you can't accept- It would be my honor to do this for you. Truly. What's the point of having money if you can't help out the people who need and deserve it the most? I would consider it a favor to me if you accepted my offer."_

_Clarence and his wife look at each other. She is crying, and for the first time in months there is hope in her eyes. He is a proud man, but there is nothing that he won't do for his family. He stands up, and so does Jake._

"_Mr. Kane- Jake… We can't tell you how much this means to us. We can't thank you enough."_

_Jake smiles at him and shakes his hand again. "Like I said, it's my pleasure. Your wife really is a wonderful woman. But of course, you already know that."_

_Clarence gives Jake a rare smile. "She certainly is." He reaches into his breast pocket and pulls a business card out. "This is my card. I'm in private security. If there's ever anything that I can do for you, or your family, please don't hesitate to give me a call." He hands the card to Jake and looks him in the eye. "Really. Anything."_

**A/N So I know this was a little different, but I really wanted to do a chapter from Clarence Weidman's perspective. I think he's one of the most intriguing characters in the Veronica Mars world. I hope you enjoyed! :)**

**Thank you all for your congratulations on my engagement And thank you for all of your lovely, lovely reviews! We hit over 100! Woohoo! Next up… someone whose initials are L.E. ;)**


	8. Logan II

**A/N So, not quite as many reviews for Chapter 7, but thank you to everyone who did review. :) I also wanted to say thanks to _everyone_ who has reviewed this story at any point, and give a little shout out to the people who have reviewed multiple times: hoffi coffi and Kate (for every chapter! You guys are awesome!), Spygrrl, Beeski, Natskl, smellslikecorruption (you were right, 214 Stevenson was Buffy and Willow's room. Nice catch! And there were indeed two Buffy refs in Chapter 4 ;)), Tara, lateVMlover, Oriana47, boobsnotbombs, Ali-Cat, Henneberg, desperate for more, Islandergyrl, Miss. Anonymous Reader, katherine, radiate689, deceptivecadence, AllyrienDM, coldinoleum, heratulipsia, Sinnymun, azerjaban, Maggie Esk and horsegirl1975. Please keep em coming! And if you haven't reviewed yet, I'd love to know what you think. I read and enjoy them all!**

**I absolutely loved writing this chapter. Logan is such a fun character to write. For anyone playing along, this one is chock full of pop culture references. (I can't help myself, I watch a LOT of television.) Curious to see if you guys can spot some of them. I'm planning on posting a list when I'm done with the story. Anyway, hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Chapter 8**

Logan

"_I can no longer think of anything but you. In spite of myself, my imagination carries me to you. I grasp you, I kiss you, I caress you, a thousand of the most amorous caresses take possession of me." –Honoré de Balzac_

Logan chuckled to himself. _Yeah, that sounds about right. _He put down the book he was reading for a minute and took a bite of his sandwich. Logan looked briefly around the food court as he ate. Not seeing anyone of interest, he put one leg up on the chair next to him and went back to his book. It was a biography on Balzac. They were currently reading excerpts from _Eugénie Grandet _and _La Cousine Bette_ for class, and Logan was surprised how much he was enjoying it. Professor Jayne had told them a bit about Balzac's life, and Logan had been fascinated. One day in the library, procrastinating on an essay for another class, he'd decided to check out this book.

He was reading letters that Balzac had sent to Evelina Hanska, the woman with whom he'd carried on a love affair spanning eighteen years. While still married to another man, she'd sent him an anonymous letter that had sparked the affair. Even after her husband died, Madame Hanska had refused to marry Balzac until nine years later; but by that point, he was seriously ill. They were together a grand total of five months before Balzac died.

Logan thought about that. _The man was seriously devoted. His friends probably told him he was nuts. But…I wonder if those five months were worth it? _Logan leafed through the book until he saw another quote that caught his eye. _"First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time."_ _Huh. Well maybe I'm an even bigger fool than he was, because I've been in love twice. I guess the first shot didn't take… but the second one has certainly done the trick. _

He closed the book and crumpled up the wrapper from his sandwich, then stood up and tossed it into the garbage. He grabbed his backpack and his water, and headed over to Forbin for his Lit class. Logan liked to get there early. Lately, he'd found he had to physically prepare himself before he saw her. He'd often take a few deep breaths, or work on plastering his customary smirk on his face before she arrived. Most days it was merely difficult to be around her. But some days, it was almost unbearable. A whiff of her perfume, the sight of her crooked smile, the sound of her laughter- all of it filled him with longing.

Sometimes, Veronica would come into their class wearing a short skirt, with a pair of knee socks and boots; just like she'd worn so often in high school. The sight still had the same effect on him now that it did back then. _Even when I thought I hated her, I still couldn't seem to keep my eyes off her._ _She used to wear her hair in those little pigtails… God, she looked so damn sexy._

_Even Duncan caught me staring at her a few times. So I'd say something about how generous Neptune prostitutes were for donating their clothing to the Salvation Army, so that Veronica had something to wear to school. And then Dick, or whoever was around, would snicker, and Duncan's suspicious look would quickly turn to disgust…and no one was any the wiser._

Logan had a sudden memory of Veronica, from high school. She was changing the tire on her car, the tire that _he'd_ flattened. He remembered feeling guilty about it when he'd walked by and seen the look on her face; but he'd laughed at her just a few seconds later, when he'd met up with his friends. _Man,_ _I was such a dick back then._ He'd watched her from across the way, admiring the way she'd dealt with the problem. Veronica had popped her trunk, grabbed a tire iron and gotten to work. The girl he'd been with at the time had laughed about that, but Logan had been secretly impressed.

That was the moment when he'd truly realized how much she'd changed. _I don't even remember who I was dating back then; but I remember that Veronica's hair was wavy that day… and she was wearing a brown t-shirt and a pink sweater._ _And then Troy showed up to help her._ _I didn't like that at all. I liked it even less when Duncan walked over there…_

Logan had reached the classroom, so he walked in and sat down in his usual spot. He looked at his watch and found that he was ten minutes early. _I guess I really have changed. Logan Echolls, early to class and pining away for Veronica Mars. No one would have believed it back then. We've come a long way._

He thought about their late night meeting at the Grand, over the weekend. He'd been really surprised that she'd called him in the middle of the night like that. And that she'd seemed comfortable letting him see her more vulnerable side again. _It's been awhile since she's let me see that side of her. I've missed that. And it's got to be a good sign, right?_

It was also the first time that the two of them had been alone, outside of class, in a very long time. It had felt very…intimate. Being back at the Grand with her, having a drink… sitting so close together, in the dim lighting of the bar…just having an honest conversation, for once. Logan had felt so content, so _connected_, that he'd almost thrown caution to the wind and let her know exactly what was on his mind. _I was about three seconds away from telling her that I'm still in love her, and I want her back._

Logan took a sip of water and leaned back in his chair._ But that would have been a mistake. She isn't ready yet. If I'd told her then, all of my hard work would have been for nothing._ Logan knew that they had to build their friendship back first, and their trust. He knew that she still had some baggage when it came to their relationship, and she needed to let it go before they could move forward. If they got back together before she worked everything out, they'd be doomed to fail. Again_. But I do think she's getting closer._

He was taking another sip of water when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Logan glanced over and almost choked. He started to cough violently.

Veronica walked over to him, concern clear on her face. "Hey, are you okay?"

Logan didn't say anything, just stared at her. Veronica was wearing a red and black plaid mini-skirt, black boots, and a white button-down shirt with a red tank top underneath. He looked her up and down. _Is she trying to kill me?_

The concern on Veronica's face was slowly replaced by a devious grin. She dropped her bag on the floor and slid into the seat next to him. "What?" she asked innocently.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You know what." He was too taken by surprise to feign indifference.

Veronica laughed, smoothing her hands over her skirt. "Oh, this old thing?"

"Um, yeah. I take it _Piz_ hasn't seen you yet?"

"No," she affirmed, her eyes flickering to his cautiously. "Why?"

"Because no man in their right mind would let their girlfriend out of the house dressed like _that_." _Not that Piz would know what to do with you even if you stayed _in_ the house._

"_Let_ me?" she returned, the tension in her expression easing at his playful response. "Please. You should know better than anyone that I don't ask permission."

"If you'd had that little number on when _we_ were dating, you never would have stepped foot outside," he informed her.

"And I suppose you think you could have stopped me?" Veronica asked with eyebrow raised, rising to the challenge.

"Actually, I would've made sure that you _begged me_ not to stop you," he replied without thinking.

Veronica gave him a withering look, but he got the satisfaction of seeing her blush.

_She wouldn't have lasted five _seconds_ in that outfit around me. _He looked down at her exposed thigh._ She still might not last five seconds._ Logan exhaled. He realized he was going to have to think of something truly disgusting, and quick, or he was going to have a problem. _Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie O'Donnell and… Principal Clemmons. There. _He took another sip of water and glanced back over at her.

"So," he began, smirk firmly back in place. "Hooker convention in town again?"

She made a face at him. "It's for a case."

Logan looked her up and down again. He couldn't help himself. "Veronica, that outfit, seriously, should be illegal. And it could get you in some real trouble. This case of yours wouldn't involve you hanging out in dark alleys later, would it? Because just going out on a limb here, that might not end well."

"Your concern is touching."

"Right," Logan said. _Of course, you think you're invincible._

Veronica sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you. You know your friend Tina at the Grand? Well her brother is a sociology professor here at Hearst."

"Oh yeah? Which one?" he asked.

"Professor Hawkins."

"Never heard of him."

"Well, anyway, Tina asked me to help him out. Apparently, one of his students is trying to blackmail him into giving her answers for his tests ahead of time. According to Tina, this girl told him that she'd publicly accuse him of soliciting sexual favors from her, in exchange for a better grade, if he refused to give her the test answers," Veronica told him.

"Okay," Logan said slowly. "But how does that explain the outfit?"

"Well, the last time I defended a teacher who'd been accused of something similar, it turned out he was actually guilty. So I'm covering all of my bases this time. I'm heading over to his house after class. I figured, if I show up wearing this, I can get a read on what type of guy he really is," she explained.

"I see," he said. "Wait a minute, which teach- oh, right. Rooks."

"Right," she returned wryly.

Before Logan could reply, Professor Jayne started her lecture. He tried desperately to pay attention, because he really was interested in the class. But he just couldn't concentrate. He kept sneaking looks over at Veronica. She seemed absorbed in what the professor was saying. She twirled her finger absently around a strand of hair, one of her little habits that she probably wasn't even aware of.

_Jesus. She looks _unbelievably_ sexy._

Logan was struck with the sudden thought of her and Piz together, and he felt a hot, violent anger rise up in his chest. _He doesn't get to see her like this. Not a chance._ As tough as it was for Logan to be around Veronica right now, he was absolutely certain that he didn't want anyone else to be around her, either. _Especially him._

When the lecture ended, Logan didn't waste any time. "Listen, Veronica, I know you think you're invincible, but maybe you shouldn't go to this guy's house alone."

Veronica didn't say anything right away, just continued gathering her books and putting them back into her bag. When she was done, she stood up and looked at him. "Fine, then. Come with me."

"Really?" he asked, taken by surprise. _I thought it was gonna take a lot more than that to convince her._

"Yeah. I mean, if that's what I have to do to prove to you that I, in fact, do not have a death wish."

Logan hesitated, but he wasn't sure why. "Is…Piz okay with us hanging out?" _And why the _hell_ did I just ask her that?_

Veronica shrugged. "Sure. He knows we're friends. He's fine with it."

_I seriously doubt that._ Logan smiled. "Well okay then."

**xxXxx**

"You know, it's pretty ironic that now that we're broken up, you're actually telling me where you're going and what you're doing," Logan remarked. "Unasked, even." They were in Veronica's car, on their way over to Professor Hawkins house.

"I don't know what you mean," Veronica said airily. "My life is an open book."

"Right," Logan laughed. He gestured to the back seat. "So what's with all of the boxes?"

"Oh, that," Veronica replied. She didn't sound entirely pleased. "My dad and I are moving."

"Really?" Logan was surprised. He'd grown to like her cozy little apartment, over the years. He had more than a few fond memories of the place, thanks to her father's frequent absences. It made him a little sad to think about it being empty.

"Yeah. He's dating Wallace's mom again. Alicia. And, uh…" she trailed off for a minute, looking in her rearview mirror as she changed lanes. "We're all moving in together."

Logan looked at her, but her expression was neutral. "So, are you good with this, or…?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, packing sucks, but I'm warming up to the idea of living in a house again." She shrugged. "It doesn't really matter what I think about it. It's happening." Veronica paused for a minute, then glanced over at him. "Alicia is pregnant."

"_What?_" he asked.

"Yeah, I know." Veronica laughed. "Wallace and I kind of had the same reaction."

"Wow," Logan said. "Go Keith."

"Ew," Veronica replied, wrinkling her nose. "In my mind, it's kind of like an immaculate conception. So just, _no mention_ of anything icky, please."

Logan laughed. "Wow," he said again. "So how do you feel about that?"

"What are you, my shrink?" she teased. "It's… I don't know, it's weird. It doesn't seem real yet, I guess. Hey, can you throw on the radio? I need some music."

"Sure," he agreed, dropping it. He turned on the radio. It was a news station, so he moved to change it.

"Wait," Veronica said quickly, putting her hand on his arm to stop him.

"_Authorities were called to the scene at approximately 1pm, but the fire had already raged out of control. Beth Israel Temple has been destroyed. Nine people are missing, and presumed dead…"_

Logan looked over at Veronica. She was still holding onto his arm tightly. Her face had gone white.

"Hey," he said gently, "did you know someone who was there or something?"

She let go of his arm and took a deep breath. "No," she replied. "It's just- upsetting, hearing about things like that."

"It is," Logan agreed. He knew there was more to all of this than she was telling him, as always. But he decided not to push.

Veronica's phone rang and she glanced down at it. She hesitated for just a few seconds, then answered the call.

"Hey Piz," she said.

"Tell him 'hi' from me," Logan spoke up.

"No, I'm not on campus."

"You should tell him about your outfit," Logan suggested.

Veronica smacked him lightly on the arm.

"I'm with Logan, actually," she said. "He's helping me out on a case."

Logan listened intently, trying to gauge Piz's reaction. Veronica's expression was blank.

"I will, definitely," was all she replied.

"Ask him if we're still hitting that strip club later. If it's amateur night, you could come with us. Make a little extra cash," Logan told her.

Veronica bit her lip on a smile. "Ok, I'll see you then," she said into the phone. She reached over and smacked him on the arm again without looking at him. "You're such an ass."

Logan smiled. _But you love it._

**xxXxx**

Logan looked at the Rottweiler a little nervously as they headed up the walkway. It was huge, and it was snarling at them viciously. But it appeared to be tied up securely.

Veronica caught his expression and laughed. "Chopper, sic balls!" she told the dog, pointing at Logan.

"You're hilarious," he said dryly.

"I am," Veronica agreed. "So, is it just me, or does this place seem a little nice for a Sociology professor?"

"Does it?" Logan asked, looking around. It seemed like a pretty average house to him.

Veronica rolled her eyes. "I forgot who I was asking for a minute. Yes, this is a little beyond the budget of your average college professor. For starters, we're in 09er territory. There's a security dog, and a fountain. And a view of the ocean," she said, pointing to each item. "And if his family comes from money, then why does Tina work at the Grand?"

"So what does that mean? Is that, like, a clue?" he asked.

Veronica just laughed at him again, and reached up to ring the doorbell.

A butler answered the door; as he led them into the foyer, Veronica looked at Logan pointedly, gesturing to the butler. As soon as he'd left to get Mr. Hawkins, Veronica began to walk around the foyer, looking all around her. Logan watched her, admiring the view.

A brown-haired man who looked to be in his mid to late 30's entered the foyer. He smiled warmly at both of them. "You must be Veronica," he said, shaking her hand. "I'm Samson Hawkins. Call me Sam." He glanced at Logan questioningly, but didn't seem to mind that he was there.

"This is my friend Logan," Veronica spoke up. "I actually met Tina through him. He lives at the Grand."

"Of course, Logan Echolls. Tina speaks of you fondly," Sam said, shaking Logan's hand. Logan glanced over at Veronica, but he couldn't place the expression on her face.

She looked up at the crystal chandelier above them and then back to Sam. "So, Heisenberg," Veronica said to him. "Come clean. Are you selling crystal meth to pay for all of this?"

Logan laughed, getting the reference, but Sam looked confused. "Oh," he replied, "This wasn't originally my house. I mean, I moved in here-"

Veronica stopped him. "I'm teasing you," she told him. "So can you tell me a little more about this student of yours? Do you happen to have anything in writing?"

"Unfortunately, no. Please, let's go into the living room where we can all be a little more comfortable," Sam suggested. "I'll have Simon bring us some iced tea."

They agreed, following him down a long hallway and into a large room with vaulted ceilings and windows along one wall. As Veronica and Sam continued their discussion, Logan watched him, trying to gauge if he was looking at Veronica lasciviously. He wasn't. _If anything, he seems to be checking _me_ out. But that could just be because he knows who I am_, Logan thought bitterly.

The butler came into the room with a tray of iced tea for them and set it onto the coffee table. He passed the glasses around to the three of them. Logan accepted the glass with a nod. "Thanks, Jeeves."

"It's Simon," the older man corrected him.

"Right. The butler. What exactly does a butler do, anyway?" he asked. "I've never been clear on that."

"I buttle, sir."

Logan smiled. "Well that clears things right up."

Simon left, and Logan let his eyes wander around the room. There were several framed pictures on the end table. He noticed one of Sam and Tina, standing in front of the Grand Canyon. The others were all photos of Sam with his arm around another man. _His brother?_ Logan looked at the coffee table and spotted a book of matches. He leaned forward so he could see the name on the matchbook. _Rawhide?_ Logan hid a smile. _Aha._

He focused back on the conversation, which appeared to be wrapping up. Veronica was writing something down in a small notebook. She closed it and put it back in her bag, then stood up. "Okay, well I think I have enough to get started. Thanks for the iced tea. I have your number, so I'll give you a call as soon as I have something."

Logan stood up, and they both shook Sam's hand. It wasn't until they were outside and walking back to her car that Veronica spoke up. "So," she said, "I think he's telling the truth. He certainly didn't seem interested in me or my outfit, anyway."

Logan burst out laughing. "Wow, Mars. This has to be a first."

"What?" she asked, not pleased that she wasn't in on the joke.

"He's gay."

"Huh? No…"

"Um, yeah. He had a matchbook from Rawhide. You know, the gay bar on Ocean? There were framed pictures of him with his arm around another guy. The same guy, in every picture. And, like you said, he can't afford that house."

They got to her car, but Veronica didn't get in right away. She crossed her arms and looked at Logan. "Well," she said. "I am truly impressed."

"Thank you." Logan's phone rang, and he looked down to see that Heather was calling him. They both got in the car, and Veronica started it. She reversed and headed down the driveway as he answered the call. "Hey, cutie."

"Ew," Heather replied. "I'm bored. You up for a game?"

"It's not Friday yet," he reminded her.

"So? C'mon, I know you're not doing anything useful right now," she teased him.

"Can't," he said. "I'm actually helping a friend with something."

He glanced over at Veronica. He could tell that she was listening to the conversation.

"What friend? You hate everybody," Heather said.

"I don't hate _everybody_. I can stand _you_, most of the time," he returned dryly.

"So who are you with, Dick?" she guessed.

"No. Veronica."

There was a high-pitched squeal in his ear. He hurriedly turned the volume down on his phone.

"Oh my god, oh my _god_! Did you tell her yet? Are you guys _finally_ back together? _Oh my god_!"

"Heather," he said. "Are you kidding me right now?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just so excited! Okay, I know you probably can't talk right now, but you _better_ call me later. I want to hear _everything_. Promise me," she demanded.

"Fine," he sighed. "I promise. I gotta go." For Veronica's benefit, he added. "I'll talk to you tonight."

Veronica didn't say anything, but he knew that she was dying to know who he'd been on the phone with and what he'd been talking about. _You drove me insane all day, parading around in that outfit. Now it's my turn._

**xxXxx**

The next day, Logan was sitting in _World History_ talking to a brunette when Mac sat down next to him.

"So… call me, okay?" the girl said, a suggestive smile on her lips.

"Sure," Logan replied. He turned to Mac. "Hey."

"Hey," she returned, glancing at the brunette with one eyebrow raised. She waited for the girl to walk away before she continued. "And who was that?"

"That was Lynda. With a 'Y'."

"Of course it was. Did we not learn from our _last_ experience picking up women in this class?" she asked him.

Logan chuckled but said nothing.

"So are you two…?" Mac asked.

"Please. She's a dog. There's not enough alcohol in the world."

"Logan, that's mean," she said, but she was fighting a smile.

Logan was unphased. He shrugged. "Whatever. She's steerage class."

"So why did you take her number?" Mac asked.

"She helped me with the answers on the homework, and then she asked me if I wanted her number. What was I supposed to say?"

"Um, how about, 'No, thank you'?" Mac suggested.

"My presence seemed to give her joy. Why would I deny her that?"

Mac shook her head at him. "I'm struggling to remember why I'm friends with you right now. Just so you know."

Logan smiled. "Because, for one thing, I'm the most interesting person you know. And for another, I'm going to make you rich. Speaking of, can you stop over tomorrow night? We have work to do."

"Tomorrow is Thursday, right? Sorry, can't do it."

"Well, do you have plans Friday?" Logan asked. He knew there was a good chance that Dick would be out on a weekend night; hopefully, he wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness between the two of them.

"No, I'm free. I'm single now and have no social life," she reminded him.

"So you and Max are still on a break, or whatever?" he asked.

"Yup."

Logan was actually sorry to hear that the two of them hadn't been able to work things out yet. Max was one of the few people he could stand to be around.

"Well dinner is on me then, so come hungry. I'll make sure the Grand's kitchen is stocked with plenty of tofu and wheatgrass and various other inedible crap," he told her.

Mac laughed. "Gee, thanks."

"Anything for a friend."

**xxXxx**

Logan flopped down on the couch next to Dick, who was playing _Ratchet and Clank_. It was Friday night, and Logan was trying to kill time as he waited for Mac. The weekends were usually pretty tough. He knew chances were slim that he'd see Veronica, so he tried not to think about her. During the day, he usually kept busy surfing, or playing video games with Heather or Dick. But as soon as it started to get dark, he'd get restless.

"I'm bored," Logan announced.

Without stopping the game, Dick reached under the couch for something and tossed it to Logan. It was a _Penthouse_ magazine.

"Dude, really?" Logan asked.

"What? I get it for the articles. And the naked chicks."

"Right. Well, that's not exactly what I had in mind," Logan said. He tossed the magazine back at Dick.

"Usually works for me." Dick shrugged. "Fine, I'll let you play next. Lemme just finish this part."

"Nah, I'm not in the mood."

"Check it out, I'm using the Groovitron. Look it 'em dancing, it's awesome!" Dick nudged Logan in the side and pointed at the screen.

Logan, who had seen it many times, just sighed. He picked up the pillow next to him and spun it around a few times. "I'm so bored that my boredom is boring me. Let's do something."

Dick paused the game. "Well all right!" he said with a smile. "It's about time. You're getting super lame in your old age. So, what, you wanna hit Vegas or something?"

"No, man, I didn't mean let's do something right now. I meant, like, I don't know. Let's _do_ something, like throw a party or something."

"Totally," Dick agreed. His eyes lit up and he slapped Logan on the arm. "Dude! I just had an epiphery."

"Epiphany."

"Whatever. The house hasn't sold yet. And guess who still has the key?" He pointed to himself. "Oh yeah."

Logan sat up. "Really? To your parents' old house?"

"Yup. There's even water in the pool still, so it looks good when people come check it out. And they got one of those companies to come in and fill it with, like, furniture and shit. You know, so people can imagine themselves living there."

Logan nodded, thoughtful. "This could work. When should we do it?"

"I dunno. Next Saturday?" Dick suggested.

Logan hesitated. Saturday was October 2nd, the night before the anniversary of Lilly's death. Logan had figured he'd spend it alone in the suite, getting trashed. _Guess it doesn't make a difference whether I'm trashed here or there._

"Let's do it," he agreed.

"Sweetness!" Dick high-fived him. "Enbom is in town, and Gant. It'll be just like back in the day."

There was a knock on the door. _Mac_, Logan thought. _Well,_ _it doesn't look like Dick's going anywhere tonight_. _I really hope they can play nice this time. _He went to the door to let her in. The two of them walked over to the couch, and Mac set her laptop down on the coffee table. Dick, who had gone back to the game, paused it again when he saw Mac. "Macaroni!" he said, grinning.

"Original," Mac replied. She looked down at the _Penthouse_, which was still sitting on Dick's lap. She turned to Logan. "Never tell me."

Dick caught her glance and laughed awkwardly. "Oh, yeah, there was this article in here about, uh-"

"Don't wanna know," Mac stopped him, sitting down on the couch.

Dick grabbed the magazine and got up. "I'll just go put this back in _Logan's_ room."

As he walked away, Logan called after him. "Nice try, dude!" He looked over at Mac, who was rolling her eyes. "What, you and Veronica never forget to hide the _Playgirl_ magazines before company stops by?"

She reached onto the coffee table and opened up her laptop. "This is me ignoring you."

Logan laughed and took a seat next to her. A few minutes later, Dick walked back in with a six-pack of _Magic Hat_. He tossed one to Logan. "Mac?" he offered.

"Uh, sure," she agreed.

"Well, all right! Now it's a party. Hey, speaking of, me and Logan are throwing a rager next weekend. Saturday. You and Ronnie should swing by," Dick said.

Mac glanced at Logan. "Um, yeah, okay. What time should we come over?"

Logan cracked open the beer and took a sip before he answered. It had just occurred to him that Mac might not be particularly crazy about the idea of going back to the Casablancas' house. His thoughts traveled to graduation night. The night that Beaver jumped. _I'll never forget seeing Mac like that; naked, wrapped in a sheet, huddled in the corner of that room… _

_Me and Veronica, we're in kind of an exclusive club. Hardly anyone I know has gone through even a fraction of the crazy shit we have. That night, I knew that Mac belonged too._ He looked over at Dick, who was rolling a joint, seemingly oblivious to the awkward situation. _Dick's in the club too, but he doesn't know it. All four of us are damaged. But, hopefully, not beyond repair._

Logan looked at Mac, who was awaiting his reply. "It's, uh, actually over at Dick's old house," he finally said.

If Mac was surprised, or horrified even, she hid it well. "Okay. I'll be there. And I'll see if Veronica wants to come, too." She cleared her throat. "So I believe I was promised food, of some sort?"

"Food!" Dick spoke up, sparking up his joint and taking a deep pull. "I'd give my left nut for a bacon cheeseburger right now."

"I'm sure everyone is just lining up to make that trade," Mac said dryly.

Logan laughed, and Dick grinned. He offered the joint to each of them, but they both declined. Dick shook his head at Logan. "You do realize that it's Friday night, right? Dude, you better hire someone to change your _Depends_, cuz I'm not doing it."

Logan ignored him. They ordered room service, and he and Mac started talking about their next franchise.

"You know my thoughts," Logan said. He put his hands behind his head and leaned back. "Grade my ta-tas. It's a winner."

"Absolutely not. This is my foot, coming down. Let's try and think outside the box. Be inventive," Mac said. She took a bite of her veggie burrito. Logan had asked them to put it on the menu just for Mac, but she didn't know that.

"But people are _idiots_," Logan argued, sitting up again. "They don't want inventive, they want simple."

"Not necessarily. The whole point is that it has to be something that people are proud of, and want to show off. Something they _want_ graded," Mac said.

The two of them stopped talking for a minute, trying to come up with ideas.

"Hey," Dick spoke up. "Have you guys ever thought about what would happen if _Anheuser-Busch_ merged with like, _Frito-Lay_ and the people who make _Marlboros_? All of the workers would live in one big factory like Oompa Loompas, and they wouldn't even have to pay them. They'd just work for free beer, and smokes, and snack foods. It would be so sweet. If I ever lose all my money, I'm totally going to work there."

Mac stared at him in awe. "You're Karl Pilkington. Do you realize that?"

"Thanks," Dick said with a smile.

"Do you even know who that is?" Logan asked.

"Yup," Dick replied. "And I take it as a compliment."

"Dude, did the medical community arrive on an official term yet to explain your condition?" Logan asked him, reaching over to steal a couple of his fries.

"Yeah. It's called 'being awesome'. Très awesome, if you're French. Mucho awesome, if you're Spanish." Dick looked at Mac and raised an eyebrow. "_Molto_ awesome, if you're Italian."

"And he's multi-lingual, to boot," Logan said to Mac.

"I think you mean multi-loco," Mac corrected him.

"Loco means crazy. Booya! Keep 'em coming. I know how to say 'Can I get your number' in seventeen languages," Dick boasted.

"He does," Logan confirmed.

"So your creepiness knows no geographic bounds?" Mac asked, although she was smiling.

"Exactly," Dick said proudly. "I'm bringing cultures together."

"One STD at a time," Logan added.

"You should talk," Dick said. "All the ass you got in Mexico. All the ass you _showed_ to Mexico." He laughed.

Logan shot Dick a warning look. He knew exactly what he was referring to. "Okay, dude, we really have to get some work done," Logan said pointedly.

Dick had either decided to ignore him, or was too stoned to catch his meaning. "You remember? When that little señorita's homeboy came back early, and you had to sneak down the fire escape buck naked?"

Mac burst out laughing and Logan glared at Dick. "What part of _sworn to secrecy_ do you not understand?"

Dick shrugged. "Whatever, it's Mac. She's cool."

Logan looked over at Mac, who was still laughing. Although neither she nor Dick spoke about Beaver often, Logan knew that they were both still dealing with his suicide. _Well, if being the butt of a joke gets these two on better terms, I guess it's worth it. _He watched Mac close her laptop, project forgotten for the time being.

She nodded to the TV screen, which was still frozen. "Are you playing _Ratchet and Clank_?" she asked. "Love this game."

Dick handed her the controller. "Here," he said. "Happy belated birthday."

Logan looked at the two of them, an unfamiliar feeling in his chest. For the first time in a very long time, he didn't feel like he was just another guest at the hotel. He felt like he was home.

**Next up… Mac Attack!**


	9. Mac II

**A/N Great response for the last Logan chapter! You guys gave such awesome reviews, it made me a happy steenbean ;) Hope you like this one too… **

**Chapter 9**

Mac

"_Turn left on Harris Road in one mile."_

Mac took a sip of her coffee, looking around to try and catch her bearings. She had never been in this part of town before. She was following the GPS blindly, which made her a little nervous. Sometimes, the stupid thing would lose its connection, and she'd find herself completely lost. _For all of my mathematical skills, I have an awful sense of direction._ But there was nothing around her except grass and stunted trees.

"_Turn right on Church Street."_

Mac steered her car right. Her palms were sweaty. She fiddled with the radio, but nothing seemed appropriate. She shut it off, aggravated.

"_You have reached your destination."_

She pulled her car into an empty gravel parking lot. She shut it off, but didn't get out. _I don't want to do this. Why am I here? _Mac took another sip of her coffee and leaned her head back. She took a few long, deep breaths, then opened her eyes again. Suddenly determined, she got out of her car and slammed the door. She didn't have far to walk. About thirty paces forward, and then just off to the left. Mac walked it quickly. When she arrived, she wasn't sure what to do.

"Hi, Cassidy," she said. He had a simple headstone, which was surprising, yet not. Suicides were a touchy subject when it came to most religions; the Casablancas' had seemed to understand that a mausoleum or an elaborate statue would have been frowned upon, in his case. _Or maybe they just didn't care. _

Mac noticed an empty _Heineken_ bottle on the ground next to his headstone, and felt a rush of anger at the thought of random kids partying here. _It's probably something fraternities make their pledges do on Rush Week. Spend a night at the psycho killer's grave._ She picked it up off the ground, intending to throw it away on her way out.

She sat down cross-legged in the grass. "I was going to bring you flowers, but it didn't seem appropriate." Mac looked around, feeling self-conscious, but she was alone. She cleared her throat. "I hope that one day, I can forgive you. For what you did to all of those kids on the bus. For what you did to Veronica." She played with her shoelace. "For what you did to me. But I'm not there yet."

Mac leaned back onto her elbows and looked up at the sky. _In movies, it's always raining when people go to cemeteries. Or at least, overcast and dreary._ _Here in Neptune, the sky is blue and the air is clear. As usual._ She closed her eyes, trying to make her physical world match her emotional one. "But I do miss you, sometimes," she admitted in a whisper. "Which makes me feel a little sick to my stomach, to be honest."

After a moment, a small smile crossed her lips. "I had so much fun with you. Do you know you were the first boy I ever really,_ really_ liked? It felt so comfortable with you. And I really thought you liked me too. But I guess… I don't know. I don't know, now." _When he told me how much he cared about me, he gave me such a sweet, nervous little smile… He stroked my hair, and the side of my face… and then he kissed me, once, on the lips. _

_And I believed him. I believed him, because he sounded so sincere. I believed him because _I_ cared about _him_. But was it more like Dick said? Was I just his beard?_ Mac opened her eyes and sat up, staring angrily at Cassidy's grave. "I mean, was that all bullshit? All part of the act? What was real? What was _fucking real_?" She threw the bottle at his headstone without thinking, and it shattered noisily.

Mac was shocked by her action; she wasn't a violent person, and she didn't know what had compelled her to do that. She ripped a clump of grass out of the ground and let it fall through her fingers. Then she took a deep breath. "I saw your brother last night. I used to hate him. I used to think _he _was the reason that you got all screwed up. But now I'm not so sure. Who knows, maybe you were _born_ that way."

She felt the hot, wet tears streaming down her face, and wiped them away angrily. "I swore I'd never cry for you. _Fuck!_" She let the tears come for a few minutes, let herself rock back and forth on the grass in front of his grave, arms wrapped tightly around herself. She sniffled and took a few deep, shaking sobs before she collected herself again.

"I had a slice at Dino's Pizza the other day. We never got to hit that one on Pizza Quest. You would have liked it. Nice, thin crust. Good sauce." Mac wiped her tears away with the arm of her sweatshirt. She felt incredibly calm, all of the sudden. All of her fury seemed to have vanished as quickly as it had appeared. "Anyway. I think Dick misses you too, if that means anything." She stood up and wiped her hands on her jeans. "I don't know if I'll come back again."

Mac leaned forward and traced his carved name with the tip of her finger. _Cassidy Casablancas_. Beloved son; beloved brother.

_Finally, in death, you got people to take you seriously._

Mac stroked the cool, smooth stone for a moment. _So different from your warm, thick, chestnut hair. So different from your soft skin. But this is as close as anyone can get to you, now. Maybe as close as anyone could ever get to you. _She stood up straight.

"Goodbye, Cassidy," she said aloud. "I really am trying to forgive you."

**xxXxx**

Mac felt scattered and gloomy as she drove away from the cemetery. When she almost ran a red light, she realized she'd better pay attention. Earlier that morning, Veronica and Piz had invited her to join them for lunch in the food court around noon. Mac had told them that she'd had an errand to run, and if she got back in time she'd meet them there.

When she'd left the cemetery, she'd had every intention of driving back to campus so she could join them. But as she got closer, she realized that she was in no mood to be around other people, even good friends. Instead of turning left towards campus, she made the snap decision to go right. Mac drove around aimlessly for a few minutes, until she decided to pull into the _Barnes and Noble_ parking lot.

She walked into the store and took a deep breath. Something about the scent made her feel instantly more relaxed. _Max reads everything on his computer, but I still like the way a book feels in my hands, the way it smells._ She remembered that there was a gift she wanted to get and wandered over to the Young Adult section.

Mac took a few minutes to look at some of the old, familiar titles: _The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Anne of Green Gables, The Outsiders…_ She smiled as she remembered staying up until all hours, reading by flashlight, when she was younger. _One of my first acts of rebellion. Wow, I was a real outlaw._

She grabbed the book she wanted; but instead of paying right away, she decided to head towards the graphic novel section to see if the new _Astonishing X-Men_ was out yet. Before she got there, she almost knocked into someone standing in the aisle. "Sorry," she said, moving to skirt around him.

"No problem," he replied. He turned to look at her as she walked by. "Hey…Mac?"

Mac turned back around. She looked up to see a tall, attractive young man with dark brown hair. He was smiling expectantly at her.

"Casey?" she asked.

"Yeah. Wow, what are you doing here?" He laughed a little nervously, continuing before she could answer him. "I mean, obviously, you're at a bookstore, so…probably buying a book."

"Yeah. Crazy, I know," she replied. "I'm actually- a little surprised that you know who I am. We didn't exactly run in the same circles in high school."

"Of course I know who you are," he said with a smile.

"It was the blue hair, wasn't it?" she guessed.

"Well it did make you stand out. In a good way, though." Casey leaned against a book shelf; his fingers trailed vaguely along the row of books behind him. He gave another short laugh. "If you want to know the truth, I had a bit of a crush on you back then."

Mac just stared at him, both eyebrows raised. When she was a freshman, and he was a sophomore, she'd had the _biggest _crush on Casey Gant. She knew his class schedule, knew where his locker was, knew what days he had soccer practice… the crush had died down when she'd decided that he didn't know she existed. But Mac had continued to think he was one of the cutest guys in school, even up until he'd graduated.

"Wow," she finally said, immediately wishing she'd been able to come up with something better.

"I don't know why I never said anything to you; I guess you made me a little nervous," he admitted.

"I made _you_ nervous?" she asked with disbelief.

"Well, yeah. You always seemed so confident. I don't know. You seemed different than the other girls I knew," he told her. "I probably did you a favor keeping quiet. I was kind of a jerk back then." He shrugged. "So what have you been up to?"

"I'm going to school at Hearst," she said. "How about you?"

"I was at NYU, but I'm taking the semester off to work for my family's company. Still trying to decide if I should finish. So, do you still keep in touch with anyone from high school?" he asked.

"Um, yeah. Me and Veronica are roommates. And, uh, I hung out with Dick and Logan last night, actually," she told him.

"You're kidding me? Wow, that's so weird. Dick just sent me a text message out of the blue, like, an hour ago. He said he's throwing a party next weekend, told me I should come. I didn't know you two were friends," Casey said, a note of surprise in his voice.

"We're not," Mac replied automatically. "I mean…" _We're not friends…are we? I can't stand him. _She stared at Casey blankly._ But I did have a blast hanging out with those guys last night._ _I haven't laughed that hard in months._ Mac had ended up staying at the Grand well past midnight, playing video games and goofing around with Dick and Logan. On the other hand, being around Dick had brought up a tidal wave of memories about his brother… _Which is why I ended up at his grave this morning._ "Well, really, I'm more Logan's friend," she amended.

Casey just nodded, unphased by her strange response. In one step, he moved across the aisle to stand next to her. He rested an elbow on the top of the book shelf that they were standing next to, and looked down at her. "So, do you think you're going to go to the party?"

The way Casey was looking at Mac was making her feel a little flustered, yet she couldn't seem to look away from him. His eyes seemed to lighten as she gazed back at him, going from brown to hazel. _God he smells good._ "Um, yeah, I was thinking about it."

"Good." He smiled warmly at her, and she felt her heartbeat quicken. "Well, I have to get back to the office."

"On a Saturday? That's dedication," Mac said, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

"Yeah, well, unfortunately it can't be helped. But, I'm glad I ran into you, Mac." He straightened up and put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Hope I see you next weekend." Casey flashed her another smile and walked away.

Mac leaned against the stack of books behind her. _Whew._

**xxXxx**

Despite being invited to a variety of places, Mac decided to spend that night alone. She felt totally drained after her strange afternoon. _Nothing like running into your old high school crush to take your mind off your murderous ex-boyfriend._ _At least it worked for a little while, anyway._ She lay in bed all night, reading about poor, doomed Lily Bart in _The House of Mirth_. It fit her mood perfectly.

Mac continued reading when she woke up in the morning, declining breakfast with Veronica and Wallace. She spoke to Max briefly when he called, then went back to her book. When Veronica got back from her shift at the library, she took one look at Mac and apparently decided that she needed to take action. She walked over to Mac, took the book out of her hands and pulled her up out of bed.

"No more moping, lady," Veronica commanded. "It's a beautiful day out, and we're going for a walk. C'mon, get dressed. I know just the place." She pointed to Mac's closet. "I'm giving you fifteen minutes."

Mac rolled her eyes, but she knew there was no arguing with Veronica when she got that look on her face. "Fine," she said grumpily.

A half hour later, Veronica and Mac strolled down Crescent Beach under a cloudless sky, eating ice cream. _Another perfect day in Neptune. Seventy-five and sunny._ Mac watched a little girl splashing in the waves. Every time a wave came in, her father would pick her up and she'd shriek with delight.

"Well?" Veronica asked her with a knowing smile.

"Okay," Mac admitted grudgingly. "This is helping a _teeny_ bit."

Veronica put her arm around her friend and gave her a little squeeze. "Good," she said. "So do you want to talk about it? Is it Max?"

Mac shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe, a little bit." She took a bite of her ice cream. "He called me earlier. He calls me, like, twice a day."

"So he wants to get back together."

"Yeah. But the thing is, I don't know if _I_ want to. I mean- It felt like we were so _settled _already, you know? Like, hey, it's Friday night. That means I'm going over to Max's to watch a movie, and eat pizza. And… aren't we too young to be that settled?" Mac asked. Before Veronica could answer, she continued, letting it all out at once. "When I tried to explain what I meant to him, he was like, 'So you want to do something different? Well, okay then, let's go out instead'." She threw up her hands. "So now, we're supposed to go out to a bar on Friday. But… that wasn't really what I meant. Do you know what I mean?"

Veronica took a bite of her ice cream before she answered. She looked thoughtful. "Well, I don't know," she said after a minute. "Sometimes it's really nice to just veg out with the person you love and do nothing." She stopped walking and looked at Mac. "Maybe that's the problem. Maybe _he's_ not the one you want to be watching movies with."

Mac stopped walking too and looked back at Veronica, a little surprised. "But we're so similar. I mean, we have so much in common. If _he's_ not the right person for me, then how am I ever going to find someone that I'm compatible with?"

"I don't know," Veronica answered honestly. "But there is such a thing as being _too_ similar. Maybe you should try dating someone who's different from you."

Mac laughed. "Like Casey Gant?" she asked.

"Um, well, kind of random, but sure. Why not?" Veronica replied, clearly confused.

"I ran into him at the bookstore yesterday," Mac explained.

"And there was sparkage?" Veronica asked, smiling. They continued walking down the beach.

Mac shrugged, embarrassed. "Maybe. It's hard to tell, with some guys. What do you think about him?"

"I think he's… a pretty nice guy, actually. But you know my track record with 09er guys," Veronica said. "I might not be the best person to give you advice on this one."

"So, do you know him at all?" Mac asked.

"Let's see… I know he can hacky-sack. I know he once sold his Porsche and gave the money to a hippie commune. And I know he's a multi-millionaire."

"Multi?" Mac asked nervously. "Like, how multi?"

"And here I thought the hippie commune was the surprising part," Veronica teased. "Well, his grandmother left him her publishing company when she died. At the time, it was worth about 80 million dollars."

Mac's jaw dropped. "All he said was that he worked for the 'family business'."

"So you just assumed mafia?" Veronica joked.

"I assumed, like, a car dealership."

"Well, at least you know he's modest," Veronica pointed out.

"Yeah, but… I don't know if I can hang out with him now. What could I possibly have in common with a multi-millionaire?"

Veronica laughed. "Um, what about Logan?"

Mac paused. "Huh. I kind of forget that he's loaded, sometimes."

"Really? I usually find he likes to lord it over us lower beings," Veronica said dryly. She took a small bite of ice cream and glanced over at her friend. "So… you hung out there on Friday, right?"

"Yeah," Mac answered slowly. With Veronica, she was never sure where the conversation would go. _Especially when it comes to Logan._

"Did he happen to mention a girl named Heather?" Veronica asked.

"Heather? No…" Mac had to hide her smile with a cough. She'd suspected it for some time now, but her birthday party had confirmed it: Veronica was still completely in love with Logan. The signs didn't appear often, but when they did, Mac was sure she was right. _Like now._

"No?" Veronica pressed. "Maybe she called, or maybe he texted her?"

"Honestly, I was there until after midnight, and there was no talk of a 'Heather'. Why do you ask?" Mac asked, trying to keep her tone neutral.

Veronica bit her lip. "I was out with him a couple of days ago, on a case, and he got a phone call from this girl. I don't know, it sounded like it could be serious. I mean, like the two of them are dating. Anyway, he mentioned seeing her on Friday, so…I just figured I'd ask."

Mac was dying to just grab her friend and shake her. She wanted to tell her that she was out of her mind if she thought Logan spent even a second _thinking_ about other women, let alone dating anyone else. Because she was equally positive that Logan was still madly in love with Veronica.

_But I made a decision to stay neutral. Not to get involved. Besides, I'm pretty sure that Logan has a plan, and I don't want to step on his toes. Maybe this "Heather" is a part of that plan. I can totally see him making up a girl to make Veronica jealous._

"Honestly, I've never heard him mention her. But I'll keep my ears open," Mac promised.

"So you guys were working on your website?" Veronica asked.

"Not really," Mac admitted. "I mean, we tried, but Dick was there and he's kind of distracting." She laughed. "But I have to admit, he's pretty funny. Him and Logan together are like a comedy routine. Seriously, they should have their own reality show."

Veronica looked sideways at Mac. "You and Dick aren't…?"

"No! Oh, god no. I've only just recently moved from seething hatred to being able to tolerate his presence," Mac told her.

Veronica laughed. "Okay, my world suddenly makes sense again."

Mac took a deep breath and exhaled. She felt a lot better, now that she'd talked to Veronica about some of the stuff on her mind. Being by the beach was helping, too. She looked around her, suddenly appreciating how beautiful parts of Neptune really were. Up on a bluff, overlooking the ocean, sat a gorgeous grey house. It seemed to be made up of mostly stone and glass, and looked almost as though it blended into the hilltop. It was totally secluded. _They must have an absolutely amazing view._

She pointed the house out to Veronica. "Hey, I wonder who lives there?" Mac laughed shortly. "Probably Casey Gant."

Veronica's eyes followed where Mac was pointing. She smiled, yet she looked almost sad, all of the sudden. "Yeah," Veronica said quietly. "I always liked that house." After a moment, she looked at Mac and smiled more brightly. "So… that's another unprompted Casey reference. Don't think I didn't notice."

Mac blushed. "Yeah, well… what can I say, he's cute."

"That he is," Veronica agreed.

"And, well, he's gonna be at that party I told you about. The one at Dick's parents house. You're coming, right?"

Veronica hesitated, and Mac considered for a minute before she pushed the issue farther. She really did want Veronica there, for moral support. On top of that, Logan had made Mac promise that she would bring Veronica to the party. _But he was pretty drunk by that point; maybe he doesn't even remember asking me to do it…?_

_And maybe I'm not being completely neutral, here, after all. I told myself that I wouldn't get involved in whatever is going on between the two of them… _Mac glanced over at Veronica, who was looking out at the ocean. _Oh, who am I kidding? Logan knows exactly what he's doing. And so do I. Screw it._

Mac grabbed her friend's arm. "You _have_ to. I need backup," she pleaded.

"You want Backup?" Veronica asked. "I'm sure he'd love a good party."

"Very funny. But as much as I love your dog, I need _girl_ backup. Please?" Mac pouted at her.

"Okay, okay. I'll come," Veronica gave in, laughing.

"Good." _So next weekend should be interesting. I'm going to my dead ex-boyfriend's house to flirt with my high school crush, in an attempt to distract me from my problems with my most recent ex-boyfriend. How did life get so freaking complicated?_

**xxXxx**

Logan handed Mac her customary soy Chai latte in class the following Wednesday.

"Thanks," she said appreciatively. "But you know as well as I do that there isn't enough caffeine in the world to get us through this class."

Before she'd even sat down, Logan spoke up. "Well?" he asked expectantly.

"Well, what?" she returned. She was messing with him. Mac had missed class on Monday due to a flat tire; she knew Logan was waiting to hear if Veronica was coming to the party with her.

He made a face at her and reached for the latte. "I'll just take that back now."

"Yes!" she laughed, holding it out of his reach. "She's coming."

"Are you sure? Because when I mentioned it to her yesterday, she told me she didn't know yet," Logan said doubtfully.

"I'm sure," Mac told him. "I made her swear in blood."

"Well done," he said. He raised an eyebrow at her. "And will _Piz_ be joining you?"

Mac could hear the disdain in his voice. _Piz gets the same tone in his voice whenever Logan's name comes up. There's no love lost between those two, that's for sure._ "Nope. He's going home for the weekend. I think it's his mom's birthday or something."

Logan didn't reply; but when she glanced over at him she saw that he was smiling. _Yeah. He definitely has something up his sleeves._ Mac considered asking him about Heather, curious if he really _had_ made her up, but she quickly changed her mind. She couldn't think of any way to bring the girl up that wouldn't make it obvious that Veronica was the one who'd put her on the trail.

She took a sip of her latte, still watching Logan. "Hey," she asked curiously. "Why is it so important to you that Veronica come to this party?"

Logan's smile faded instantly. He shrugged, not looking at her. "It's just a kind of tough day for both of us. It'll be easier if we spend it together."

_Lilly. Veronica mentioned it was the anniversary of her death. Well it makes sense Logan would want to spend it with the other person who knew her best._ She nodded at him to show she understood. "So-" Mac began.

Before she could continue, Logan interrupted her. "Yes," he said, smirking. "Casey will be there."

Mac crossed her arms and glared at him. "I can't _believe_ she told you. I'm gonna kill her."

"Don't say anything to her," Logan laughed. "You'll get me in trouble."

Mac made a face at him. "Oh, don't worry, _she's_ the one who's in trouble."

"Seriously, don't even bring it up. I figured it out myself. Really," he insisted. "I knew something was up when she started asking me about Casey. He's not exactly her type."

"Oh, really Logan? And what exactly _is_ her type?" she teased him.

"Please," he scoffed. "I think we both know the answer to that question." He raised his eyebrow at her cockily. But, when Mac looked at him more closely, she could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

**xxXxx**

When Mac and Max walked into Valentine's that Friday night, they both stood hesitantly at the door for a moment before they continued inside. Mac wasn't sure why Max didn't want to walk further into the bar. _Maybe it's just his general anti-socialness. It's already packed in here. I, on the other hand, have a very good reason._ She had noticed immediately that Bronson was there, working behind the bar.

The two of them eventually ventured into the bar. Mac sat down as casually as she could onto an empty barstool in a slightly dark corner. She hadn't seen Bronson since she'd broken up with him, and she had no idea what to expect.

"So," Max said, seating himself on the stool next to hers. "What's your poison?"

Mac shrugged. "Um, I don't know…" She was feeling very out of her element and suddenly wanted to get very drunk. "Tequila?" she suggested.

Max smiled warmly at her, and she wondered for a minute why she'd ever thought they should split up. She was relieved to see a different bartender, a blonde woman, come over to serve them their drinks. She and Max clinked glasses and downed their shots.

Max scooted in closer to her. "So… Have you given everything more thought?" he asked, looking at her intently.

Mac stared back at him; he looked so hopeful, and she didn't know what to say. The bartender came back and poured what was left in the shaker into their shot glasses, which ended up being another full shot for both of them. They drank their second shots; Mac could feel the warm liquid running down her throat, giving her courage. She turned back towards Max. "I have," she finally answered.

"And?" he asked.

"And… I don't know. I'm sorry. I still don't know," she told him honestly. "But I do feel like we're right to take it easy, for a little while."

Max nodded, and moved his stool back a couple of inches. It clearly wasn't the answer that he'd wanted. "Okay."

She watched him as he looked around the bar; at his own drink, at the TV mounted above them, at the pool table. _Anywhere but at me._ The silence grew more awkward by the minute, until Max finally spoke up again. "Hey," he said. "I have to go talk to that guy over there for a sec. He's the T.A. for _Intro to Astronomy_, and he's having a little moral dilemma about giving me certain information I need this semester. Are you okay here for a minute?"

"Uh, sure," Mac shrugged. As uncomfortable as things were between the two of them, she didn't really want him to leave. The place was crawling with guys, and she felt a little exposed being by herself. _Especially with Bronson here._ But Max just nodded, getting up quickly to talk to the T.A.

Mac put her jacket down on his empty bar stool, hoping that would deter any unwanted company. She decided to order a beer. While she waited for the bartender to get back, she checked her phone. She had a text message from Veronica.

_Everything going ok?_

She texted back, _Not so much. Suspect will need more ice cream tomorrow._

"Mac?"

She looked up. _Bronson. Of course, _now_ you decide to venture over to this side of the bar._ "Hey," she said as brightly as she could manage. "How are you?"

"Good. How are you?" he asked.

"Good," she replied, smile frozen in place. "So… you don't work at _Goldfinger's_ anymore?"

He returned her smile, but his looked much more natural. "No, I do. Tuesday's and Thursday's. But I got a chance to work weekends here and had to grab it. This place is packed on the weekends." He laughed and gestured to the crowd. "As you can see."

"Oh," Mac replied. _What a_ _brilliant conversationalist I am._

"So, what can I get you?" he asked.

"Uh…_Grolsch_?" she asked.

He smiled again and quickly produced one from below the counter. When she handed him her money, he waved it away. "On me," he said.

"Hey, you don't have-" she began. But he winked at her and walked away, having a busy bar to take care of.

Mac took a few long gulps of her beer and glanced around the bar. Max was still talking to the T.A.; she could tell he was really pouring on the charm. When he spotted her looking at him, he walked over to her quickly.

"Hey," he said. "I think I might have to lose a game of pool to this guy before he agrees to work with me. I'm sorry; are you okay for a few minutes? I promise to do this as fast as I can."

Mac was a little annoyed; he was the one who'd asked her to come out, and he'd spent a total of about five minutes with her so far. But she just shrugged, not wanting to get into it with him in public. "Sure."

He squeezed her arm and took off back towards the pool table. Mac sighed and took another sip of her beer. _What the hell am I doing here?_

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

Mac looked up, expecting to be witness to a drunk couple fighting. Instead, she saw Madison Sinclair, standing directly in front of her with her arms crossed.

"Um…" Mac replied. She had a million things she'd wanted to say to the girl, since she'd seen her over the summer, but her usually sharp mind had gone blank. _Damn tequila._

Madison sat down next to her, sitting on top of Mac's jacket with no regard. She had obviously been drinking for a while. "So," she said, slurring a bit. "It's you. Or do I mean, it's me?" Madison downed her drink and set it down rather roughly onto the bar. She glared at Mac. "I guess you weren't lying, were you? My parents didn't deny it."

She stirred her drink while she studied Mac carefully, continuing in a slightly softer tone. "She looks just like you, you know?" Madison asked. "My mother. _Your_ mother. And Lauren." Her eyes narrowed suddenly, and her voice got hard again. "But you know that already, since you've been meeting up with them every week."

Mac was speechless. _How does she know that?_

Madison waved a fifty dollar bill in the air, trying to get the bartenders attention. "Hel_lo_?" she said. Bronson caught the movement and came over to help her. "Vodka tonic, twist of lime," she ordered haughtily. Bronson glanced over at Mac with a questioning look as he poured Madison's drink. Mac shook her head slightly at him.

Madison waited until he'd served her and walked away before she continued talking. She took a sip out of the little black straw, staring at Mac as if she were something on the bottom of her shoe. "Every Thursday night, like clockwork. Pizza with Mac, over at the old Sinclair household. But not Friday's. No, never Friday's. Because _Madison_ comes home on Friday's, and we wouldn't want to _upset her._" Madison took another sip of her drink. She rolled her eyes at Mac. "Lauren can't keep her mouth shut, you know."

_So Lauren spilled the beans. It must be genetic. I couldn't keep _my_ mouth shut either._ "Madison-" she began.

Madison cut her off. "But _your_ parents, or is it, _my_ parents, don't want a thing to do with me." She laughed bitterly. "And why would they? They already have their _perfect daughter_."

Mac stared at Madison, still speechless. _I didn't know she'd gotten in touch with Mom and Dad… Why didn't they say anything to me? And why don't they want to meet with her?_ She watched as Madison impatiently tapped her flawlessly manicured nails against the bar, clearly waiting for a response from her.

You're_ the perfect daughter, not me,_ she wanted to say. _Look at you._ But Mac didn't say it. Because she knew, deep down, that it wasn't true. Madison was right. She _had_ been meeting the Sinclair's, every Thursday for the past three weeks. And it was clear to all of them that she fit right into their family…

_It's the previous night, and Mac is walking up to a large, beige house, partially covered in ivy. She rings the doorbell, fiddling with the bow on the gift in her hand as she waits._

_Lauren answers the door. Her birth sister is the spitting image of her when she was her age, and Mac still finds it a bit jarring when she sees her in person. She's a little taken aback by the similarities that they share in both looks and personality. But she's pleased that they have so much in common. It's a new experience for her._

_Lauren smiles at her. "We told you to stop doing that, silly. Just come right in."_

"_Oh, right," Mac says. "Sorry." She follows Lauren into the foyer, and hangs up her jacket on the coat rack. "Hey, I got you something. Nothing big, just something I thought you might like." She hands her the package._

_Lauren seems surprised. She grins at Mac and rips through the wrapping paper._ "The Dark is Rising_," she reads. "Thanks, that's awesome!" She gives Mac a hug._

"_You're welcome," Mac says, genuinely touched by her response. "Have you ever read it?" she asks._

"_No, but my friend Beth told me it was really good. It's perfect timing. I was gonna ask you if you had any more recommendations for me. I already read everything you suggested."_

_Mac loves that her sister is also such a bookworm. "Well I think you'll like that one. It's still one of my favorites. I read it every winter. You really have to use your imagination to picture all of the snow on the ground, living in Neptune," she laughs._

_She follows Lauren into the dining room. There is an elegant dinner already set up on the table, complete with lit candles and a floral centerpiece. Margaret Sinclair greets her with a big smile and tells her that they're almost ready to eat. _

_Mac had been surprised to learn that the Sinclair's didn't employ any servants. Margaret had confided in Mac that she really enjoyed doing everything herself. Although she had her Master's degree, she didn't work. She didn't need to. When Mac had asked her if she missed working, she'd laughed. "Not at all! Besides, there's not a whole lot you can do with a degree in 20th Century American Literature. As I learned rather quickly."_

_She watches her birth mother now, as she moves comfortably around the kitchen. "No pizza tonight?" she asks._

"_I thought we'd try something a little different tonight," Margaret replies. She leans closer to Mac and whispers. "John doesn't know it, but we're back on_ Weight Watchers."

_Mac gives her a conspiratorial smile. "Aha."_

"_Mom, look what Mac brought me," Lauren speaks up, holding up the book._

"_Oh, that's a great one. So thoughtful of you, Mac," Margaret says, squeezing her arm._

"_Can I help you with anything?" Mac offers. She sees a look of surprise in Margaret's eye again; it's a look that she's noticed pretty often over the last few weeks, on all three of the Sinclair's faces. Mac knows why it's there. _Madison never offers to help. Madison never puts her plate in the sink when she's done eating. Madison never brings them gifts out of the blue.

_John Sinclair walks into the kitchen with a bottle of wine. "I brought up the Pinot Noir we got in Napa, is that okay?" he asks his wife. "The one from that organic vineyard?"_

"_Perfect, thank you," she replies, kissing him on the cheek. Mac watches them, wondering for the millionth time what her life would have been like if she'd grown up with them. _Not that Mom and Dad aren't great parents. They are. They're just…different.

_Her mom had cried when she'd first told them that she knew she wasn't their child. She had begged her not to have anything to do with the Sinclair's. Her dad had been shocked that she had found out. But Mac had patiently assured both of them that they would always be her parents, no matter what, and they seemed to be coming to terms with it._

_John notices Mac standing there. "Mac," he says happily. "I didn't realize you'd arrived." He uncorks the wine. "How's business?" he asks._

_Mac had told him that she had an online business, but she'd been way too embarrassed to tell him what it was. He hadn't pushed, but he'd often ask her questions about it, or about her classes. John was a computer programmer at Kane software. He'd been pleased to hear that Mac was following in his footsteps._

"_It's going really well, actually," Mac says. "Our numbers are about five times higher than I initially projected."_

"_Excellent," he replies. He pours two glasses of Pinot and swirls one of them around. Noticing Mac watching him, he holds the glass out to her. "Would you like a taste?"_

They always treat me like a grown up. And they talk to me like I'm an adult, who has valid opinions. _Mac tried not to make comparisons between her parents and her birth parents; but sometimes, she couldn't help it. "Um, no thanks," she declines. "I'm not much of a wine person."_

"_It's an acquired taste," he agrees. "Speaking of…" John pulls open a drawer in one of the kitchen cabinets and takes out a white envelope. "You mentioned that you like Picasso. Some of his pieces are at the Neptune Art Museum, on loan from the Met. They're having a special exhibit; it opens next Saturday evening. I thought you might enjoy that." He hands her the envelope._

_Mac opens it to see two tickets. She swallows a couple of times, trying to hide the sudden wave of emotion that has struck her. _I can't believe how well they know me, after only three weeks._ She pulls herself together and looks up at him. "Mr.- I mean, John. Thank you so much. Really, you didn't have to do that."_

_He smiles back at her. "It was my pleasure."_

_Mac turns to Lauren, who is looking on with interest. "So what do you say, you want to come with me?"_

"_Definitely," Lauren says enthusiastically. Mac sees that look again. She glances up at John, and then over at Margaret. They are all looking at her the same way. Surprised, and pleased, and a little bit proud..._

Mac stared at Madison, wondering why this had happened to them. They were all innocent bystanders; none of them were to blame. _Except for me, for telling Madison in the way I did. Without warning. It was so spiteful of me. _She was genuinely sorry that she'd told Madison about their parents. And she was a little shocked by how upset the other girl was about it. _I didn't think she was capable of human emotion. But she almost looks like she's about to cry…_

Impulsively, she reached out to Madison. But the blonde girl recoiled as though she were trying to brand her with a hot poker. Madison stood up quickly and grabbed her drink off of the bar; a little bit spilled onto Mac's jacket. "Have fun trying to live _my life-_ _Madison_." She said each word like a coil of barbed wire.

Mac stared at her as she walked away, stunned. Not by the venom in her voice, but by the raw pain she'd detected beneath. She watched as Madison stumbled into a tall, rather beefy looking man with a deep sunburn. He chuckled appreciatively and smacked her on her ass. Instead of slapping him, Madison just smiled at the man suggestively. Mac was slightly alarmed. The Madison that she knew from high school wouldn't have touched this guy with a ten foot pole. _What do I do? If I go over there, she'll just make a scene._

"Hey. You're friends with that girl?"

Mac turned away and looked up to see Bronson standing in front of her again. "Friends? No," she corrected him. "She makes Regina George look like a saint."

Bronson looked confused, but laughed anyway. "Okay. I was gonna say… she's not the nicest person in the world."

Mac glanced back over at Madison, who was laughing loudly at something the beefcake had said. "Does she come in here a lot?" Mac asked him.

"Just for the last couple of months. But the last two weeks or so, she's been getting, just, annihilated. We had to call a cab for her last Friday," he told her. Bronson looked up and saw people waiting at the other end of the bar. "Sorry, duty calls." He walked over to help his customers.

Mac circled her finger absently around the rim of her beer bottle, thinking about what Bronson had just said. It sounded like Madison was spiraling out of control…_ And I'm the one who's responsible for that._ She sighed heavily. _I don't regret getting to know the Sinclair's better. __That's the one good thing that's come out of this mess. They're kind of like a missing piece of my puzzle. _

_But this thing with Madison… I _asked_ Veronica to look into my family- Madison didn't ask anyone. I lost my temper and just blurted it out to her. _She took a sip of her beer and glanced back over at Madison. Beefcake was now rubbing his meaty hands up and down her back, and she was eating it up. Two of his friends had joined them, and she could see them looking Madison up and down.

_Someone needs to keep an eye on this girl, make sure she doesn't do anything that could actually get her hurt. _Suddenly, Mac had a crazy thought_. I wonder if Veronica would let me borrow a listening device, of some sort? But even if she does, how would I bug her? _Mac considered that for a minute, but she wasn't sure how to proceed._ Well, hopefully these last few years hanging out with Veronica have rubbed off on me, and I'll be able to figure something out…_

Max walked back over to her, then, interrupting her train of thought. "Sorry about that," he said. "It was worth it though. He agreed to help me out."

Mac just nodded. "Hey, can we get out of here?" she asked.

Max looked at her. "What? Why? You were the one who wanted to go out in the first place."

_No, actually, I wasn't_, she thought.

But Mac didn't correct him. She could tell that he was frustrated, but so was she. _And I can't even explain about Madison._ She hadn't told Max about her parents yet; she hadn't told anyone. Mac wasn't sure why she was being so secretive about it. It was kind of like being in a new relationship; she just wanted something that she could have all to herself.

When she didn't respond, Max rolled his eyes. "Well I wish you hadn't dragged me all the way out here. There was a _James Bond_ marathon on TBS tonight. C'mon, let's go."

Mac got up off of her stool. She caught Bronson's eye and gave him a smile and a little wave. He waved back. She glanced over at Madison one more time. She was making out with the guy now, in the middle of the bar. His friends were making lewd gestures behind her back.

As she followed Max out the door, she made a promise to herself. _I'm going to figure out a way to fix this. Somehow._

**A/N Please tell me your thoughts on this. I got pretty sad and moody after I wrote that first scene with Mac in the cemetery. I had to take a break from writing for like two days. Poor Mac, I really feel for her. :( My boyfriend tells me I'm a "method" writer. Lol. Maybe that's true. I was in a great mood when I wrote that scene with Mac, Dick and Logan at the Grand last chapter… think I'd had a couple of margaritas ;) Anyway, please review!**


	10. Veronica IV

**A/N If you review, I will give you a pony.**

**Chapter 10**

Veronica

"So nobody dances?"

"Nope."

"I don't know if I buy that."

"I'm telling you," insisted Piz. "No one dances in New York City. Well, okay, I should clarify that. I'm sure people dance when they're out at clubs. But at, like, concerts- nothing."

He and Veronica walked through the food court on Saturday morning, looking for a table. Piz had to catch a flight home in a couple of hours, and they'd decided to meet for breakfast so they could spend a little time together before he left.

Veronica still looked unconvinced, so Piz continued. "I knew it would come to this. You're going to force me to embarrass myself in front of you, aren't you?"

"Why ever would I do _that_?" asked Veronica innocently. She pointed to an open table and they both walked over and sat down.

"Right," he laughed. "Well I got the chance to play out a couple of times over the summer; I think I told you about that."

"Nope."

"Really? Hmm, maybe I'm too modest. This is the kind of stuff that gets other guys laid, I've been told."

"So you're telling me that you didn't even have to use your 'A' material on me? Are you implying that I'm too easy?" Veronica teased.

Piz made a face at her. "I'm pretty sure making me wait for like, six months qualifies you as officially 'hard to get', actually. Most college guys can't handle waiting six _minutes_." Veronica laughed and he continued. "Anyway. This girl Rachel, one of the other interns at Pitchfork, she had an in with the guy who books bands for the Bowery Ballroom."

"The Bowery?" asked Veronica. "Now I really am impressed."

Piz laughed. "Well then I probably shouldn't admit that I was, like, the opener for the opening band's opener. On a Tuesday night."

"What, so no merch booth set up?" she teased him. "I can see the poster now… 'Live at the Bowery: Piz!'"

"Ha! Anyway, I took some songs that I wrote for _Black Licorice_, and tweaked them so I could play them solo acoustically. So I get on stage, and I'm playing my heart out, and everyone is just, like, staring at me. I mean I get not dancing, because it's acoustic and everything, but not even a head bob? I totally psyched myself out and almost just stopped and walked off stage. But then I finished playing and everyone started clapping and cheering." He shook his head, laughing. "It was like that for every song."

"That's bizarre," Veronica said.

"Totally. So I was telling my buddy Mike at work about it the next day, and he just shrugs and goes 'that's a New York crowd' and walks away."

Veronica laughed.

"And he was totally right about it. I hadn't even realized, every time we went out to see a show I was the only one dancing," Piz told her. He held out his hands, palms up. "Commence teasing."

"Aw, Beaverton. You make it too easy. You're such a dork." Veronica smiled up at him and squeezed his arm affectionately. She took a sip of her coffee and absently toyed with her necklace.

"Whatever, Neptune." He took a bite of his bagel. "Hey," he said, gesturing with his coffee cup. "I like that necklace. I notice you wear that one a lot."

Veronica gave him a small smile. "Yeah," she said. "It's, uh, the last thing my friend Lilly gave me before she died. She had one just like it."

Piz studied her for a moment, chewing his bagel slowly. He looked like he had something on his mind. "What was she like?" he finally asked. "You never really talk about her."

Veronica looked at him, a bit surprised. Piz didn't normally ask her questions about her past._ It's one of the things I really like about him, actually. He never pries._

"You know what, never mind," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, it's okay. You're not upsetting me," she assured him. "Lilly was… a force of nature. She was just this amazing, vibrant, charismatic person." Veronica laughed softly. "She didn't just light up a room- she set the damn thing on fire. She was one of a kind." Veronica looked off into the distance for a minute. "Tomorrow will be four years since she died. I can't believe I haven't spoken to her in four years…"

She looked back at Piz, who was still watching her. His blue eyes were concerned and sympathetic. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," he told her. He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. When he straightened up, his expression was thoughtful. "You know," he said, "I've never lost anyone close to me."

"Really?" Veronica asked, surprised. "No one? Not even, like, a grandparent?"

He shook his head. "Nope. They're all still alive."

_God,_ Veronica thought. _I can't even imagine what that's like anymore. Lilly, Meg… Mom, Duncan… She looked back at Piz, who was still watching her intently. He's so undamaged. It's kind of refreshing. Everyone else I know is so screwed up. Especially me._

"Well I'm glad, and I hope you never do," she finally said. _And_ _it's kind of nice to have _one_ normal person in my life._

"I hope I don't either," Piz said quietly. "So," he continued, taking both of her hands in his, "I assume you'll be spending tonight safely at home, pining away for me."

_I was hoping this wouldn't come up. But you made a promise to yourself, girl. No more lies. _Veronica had been straight with Piz about everything, including Logan, ever since she'd lied about meeting up with him at the Grand. _And there's no reason I should lie about going to a stupid party. _"I'm actually going to a party with Mac," she told him. She smiled at him sweetly. "But I'll be pining away on the inside."

"Oh, yeah," Piz said, not returning her smile. He pulled his hands away. "Wallace mentioned a party to me. Is this the one that _Logan_ is throwing?"

"Logan and Dick, yeah," Veronica clarified, choosing to ignore Piz's tone of voice. "Mac is kind of forcing me to come with her. This guy she's crushing on is gonna be there so..."

Piz nodded, but he still wasn't looking at her. "So, you and Logan are friends again, huh?"

_Well, I knew this was going to come up, sooner or later._ "Uh, yeah," she replied, keeping her voice casual. "We're getting along okay." _There, that's the honest truth. We _are_ getting along okay._

Veronica chewed on her thumb nail._ He doesn't need to know that Logan flat out told me that my outfit turned him on last week, or that he was undressing me with his eyes the whole time we were out together that day… Or, _she admitted to herself, _that I liked knowing that I still had that effect on him… And he doesn't need to know how upset I got when Logan was on the phone with that girl, Heather._

She looked around the food court, trying to clear her head from thoughts of Logan before she continued her conversation with Piz. A brown-haired guy at the table next to them was reading the _Neptune Tribune_. As he held it up to turn the page, Veronica saw the headline. "Fire at Mosque Claims Three Lives".

Her breath caught in her throat, and she felt a cold anger trickling through her veins. _That makes twenty-six people. _Twenty-six._ When is the FBI going to _do_ something already? This has gone way too far. I can't just sit on the sidelines any more…_

"Hey, are you okay?" Piz asked her. He put his arm around her and rubbed her back gently. "Are you still thinking about Lilly?"

Veronica looked at him, not answering. Her mind was racing. _Clarence said it would be easy. No one would suspect him, not in a million years. He's over there, like, three times a week. _"I'm fine," she said, managing a smile. "So how are things going with the new band?"

Piz, who was used to her abrupt subject changes, didn't even blink. "Really well, actually. Tristan wrote a couple of songs that are pretty brilliant. And Emily is just, amazing- I mean, she's an amazing musician."

Veronica couldn't help noticing his faint blush and the way he suddenly wouldn't meet her eyes, but she tried to ignore it. _After what I'm about to do, I can't begrudge him a little crush, can I? _Veronica took a deep breath before she continued. She made herself give Piz a bright smile.

"Speaking of Emily, there's actually this favor I've been wanting to ask you. God, it's such a small world sometimes, isn't it? It turns out that my dad is working on this case, and Emily's father, Mr. Watson, is like this guy's accountant. Anyway, he's a pretty bad guy- the one we're investigating I mean, not her dad. Obviously. So do you think you could maybe do something for me?" Veronica kept her smile frozen on her face as she looked at him._ Well, your promise not to lie lasted a grand total of two weeks. That's got to be a Mars family record._

"Sure," Piz said, a note of excitement in his voice. "What would you need me to do?"

"Is there any chance you'd be able to get into his office to copy a file? It would really help us out."

"Yeah, no problem. I've actually been in there a couple of times. I don't think he keeps it locked or anything," Piz agreed readily.

"We're looking for a file. It would be under the name 'Josephine'. It'll probably be on a computer in his office. All you'd have to do is copy that file onto a disc or a flash drive. Do you know how to-" Veronica stopped abruptly. _What the hell am I doing? I can't put him in this kind of danger. These people are _murderers_._ She thought about how Wallace had looked, after the Castle had gotten done with him. _I swore I would never, _ever_ put anyone I cared about in a position like that again. And here I am, doing it to my own boyfriend. What the hell is _wrong_ with me?_

Piz was giving her a strange look, clearly confused. "Do I know how to what?" he urged.

Veronica fought back tears, the reality of what she'd almost done fully hitting her now. "Nothing. Just forget about it, it's too dangerous."

"Mr. Watson's an accountant Veronica; how dangerous could this be?" Piz asked, amused.

"_Very_ dangerous. You'd be breaking the law, okay? I'm not getting you into that kind of trouble. We have enough of a case against this guy without it. Really, we don't even need it."

Piz threw up his hands. "Then why did you bring it up in the first place? Listen, I don't mind helping you guys out. I can be stealthy too," he said, giving her a little smile.

Veronica looked at him, expression serious. She wished more than anything that she could go back in time to five minutes ago. "Drop it. Okay?"

Piz looked at her, plainly frustrated. He rolled his eyes. "Fine," he finally said.

"Good," she replied, relieved.

He crumpled up the uneaten part of his bagel into a napkin and, without getting up, tossed it into the open garbage can behind Veronica. Piz was no longer smiling, or even looking at her.

Veronica sighed._ Better he be annoyed with me for a couple of days then me have to worry about him risking his life. _She felt awful about what she'd almost done, and she couldn't stand the way Piz was avoiding looking at her. She stood up, suddenly in a hurry to get out of there. "I'm sorry, I just remembered- I have to head over to my dad's office to drop something off." She took a couple of steps over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. After a few seconds, he looked up.

"Okay."

"So have a safe trip, and please call me or text me when you get there. I'll pick you up on Tuesday. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Can I get a hug?"

His face softened, and he stood up too. "Okay," he said quietly. He kissed her gently on the lips, and then pulled her to him for a hug. Veronica closed her eyes and pressed her face into the soft cotton of his t-shirt. _I can't believe what I almost got you involved in. I'm so sorry. _She looked up at him and gave him another kiss. Then, without a word, she walked away quickly.

**xxXxx**

Veronica was lost in thought as she walked across campus towards Benes Hall; she was still shaken up over her conversation with Piz. As she approached the outer door of the dorm, she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder, and it made her jump. She spun around to see who had frightened her.

Her eyes narrowed. "_Ratner_."

He rolled his eyes. "I prefer Jeff."

"Okay, _Jeff_. Is there a reason why you felt the need to sneak up on me like that?" she asked.

"Well," he said, "as nauseated as it makes me to admit this, I need your help with something."

"You might want to lead with something less insulting next time, if you expect me to actually listen any further," Veronica suggested. She continued walking towards her building.

Jeff followed her, clearly undeterred by her demeanor. "So, Tina told me you're helping her brother out with something. That you're like, a private investigator, or whatever? I was wondering if I could, kind of, hire you."

Veronica stopped walking and faced him, confused. "Wait, _Tina_ told you? Explain to me how you didn't already know that I was a P.I.?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought you were nosey."

Veronica stared at him, incredulous. "What about when I solved the Dean's murder in front of our entire class?" she demanded. "Didn't that maybe give it away?"

"You're a teacher's pet. I thought you were looking for a better grade."

"By accusing the teacher of _murder_? That doesn't even make sense. I mean, I detailed how the _entire thing_ went down, right there in front of everyone."

Jeff looked back at her, expression bland. "Your dad was Sheriff at the time. I thought he figured it out and told you, so you could look all important in front of people."

Veronica stared at him in disbelief. "So, basically, what you're telling me is that you think I'm some spoiled rotten rich girl, whose daddy would spill details of an _open murder investigation_ just so I could impress some people in one of my classes? Are you freaking kidding me?"

He shrugged again. "So listen, here's the deal-"

Veronica laughed. "Oh, there's no deal, Sporto." She started towards the door again.

"You've accused me of, like, ten crimes that I didn't commit," Jeff called after her. "You owe me one."

Veronica stopped walking and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. _He has a point. And I _did_ try to get the guy fired, once. _She turned back towards him and crossed her arms. "Ten? Um, hardly. Try two."

Jeff took a few steps forward so that he was standing next to her again. "Also," he said, "I should probably mention that I can't afford to pay you. But I'll owe you one."

Veronica gave him a withering look, but her mind was running. _It might not be the worst thing in the world, being able to call in a favor from someone who works at the Grand. Some of my seediest clientele wind up at the Grand._ _Ratner would be like an all-access pass_. She chewed her bottom lip. _And Logan still lives there._

She sighed. "Fine. But make it fast, I'm in a hurry."

Jeff hesitated. "I can trust you to be discreet?"

She resisted the impulse to roll her eyes. "Of course," she said, struggling to keep the exasperation out of her voice.

"Okay. Basically, I want you to find out if someone I know is smart or not."

Veronica looked at him with some confusion. "I'm sensing I'll need a little bit of back story on this one."

"Well… There's this girl, Diana. And I really like her. But when she's around her friends, she acts like- well, kind of like an idiot. Then, when she's around me, she's just amazing. And she seems so smart… I mean, I _like_ her, but I don't want to date her if she really is, you know… stupid." He had the good sense to look slightly ashamed of himself.

"Wow, Ratner. That's incredibly shallow of you."

Jeff gave her a look. "I thought you weren't supposed to say things like that to clients."

"Maybe not to _paying_ clients," she agreed.

He rolled his eyes. "It's all about money with you, isn't it?"

Veronica furrowed her brow. "And I'm helping you _why_?"

Jeff opened his mouth and she held up a finger. "It was a rhetorical question." Veronica sighed. But she grudgingly took down all of the information that he had about the girl, as well as his phone number, and promised to call him when she had something for him.

_At least this one won't take me long_, she thought as she continued upstairs to her room. _I'll ask Mac to work her magic, so we can access Diana's student records._ _A quick look at her grades should give us our answer. _When Veronica stepped inside her room, it was empty. _Mac is probably getting her nails done for her big date with Casey tonight._

Veronica smiled to herself at the thought of her friend doing something girlie like that. _On second thought, she's probably over at Wallace's playing World of Warcraft._ She kicked off her shoes and lay down in bed. _Let's see if we can get this sleep thing that I've heard so much about to happen. I'll need my wits about me tonight when I go to the 09er lion's den. _She pulled her blanket up over her head and closed her eyes.

**xxXxx**

_The man's face is in shadow, but she can feel menace rolling off of him in waves. They are at a deserted train station, and she is watching helplessly as he ties her father to the railroad track. The man hums to himself happily as he wraps the rope around and around the rail. Her father is gagged, but his expression says everything to her: he is terrified._

_Veronica is also tied up, but not to the track. She is bound to a bench on the platform of the station. She struggles futilely with the rope that holds her down, but that only causes the rope to dig painfully into her bare skin. She is crying, and pleading, and bargaining with the man, but he ignores her. He begins to whistle a tune to himself as he finishes up his task. Seeming satisfied, he moves aside. He looks up at Veronica now, and smiles. She still cannot see his face._

_And then Veronica hears it, in the distance. The whistle of the train. She doesn't want to look, doesn't want to confirm that this is actually happening. But she has to. She sees the shiny black engine, speeding down the track towards her father. And she is helpless to stop it. "No! No! Why are you doing this? Please, you have to help him! I'll do anything you want, anything! Just please…" She sobs, staring into her father's eyes just as the train is about to strike. "I love you! I love you, I'm so sorry…Dad!" _

Veronica awoke with a start. She struggled to get out from below her blanket. It had somehow gotten wrapped around her arm in her sleep. She panicked a bit as she tried to rip her arm free. Finally, she managed to disentangle herself. Veronica sat up and put her face in her hands, trying to regulate her breathing. The nightmare was always the same- only the players changed. Sometimes it was her dad, sometimes her mom… Wallace, Mac, Lilly, Logan… It didn't matter who was cast in the role, the end result was always the same- she had to sit there and watch helplessly as someone who she loved faced their death.

Veronica heard footsteps approaching and looked up. Mac was walking towards her, a bit hesitantly. "Hey," she said. "Are you okay?"

She nodded and gave her friend a weak smile. The terror of the dream was starting to fade. She brushed her tangled hair out of her face. "What time is it?" she asked.

"12:30," Mac replied.

"Damn, really?" Veronica yawned. "I didn't mean to sleep so late. I have to get to work."

"I wasn't sure if I should wake you or not. You were out cold. Were you doing tequila shots for breakfast again?" she teased.

Veronica laughed, appreciating Mac's attempts to cheer her up. "You know me! Hey, do you mind if we swing by my dad's office on our way to the party later? I need to grab something for this case I'm working on, but I'm not gonna have time to get there now."

"Sure, no problem. Is this the blackmail thingy? With the professor?" Mac asked.

"Yup." Veronica scooted onto the edge of her bed and started to put her shoes on. "I gave him a tape recorder in case she brought it up to him again, but she hasn't approached him yet. I kind of want to move things along."

"So what's the new plan?"

"Well, Weevil still has a buddy who works in the maintenance department here. So he's gonna plant a bug in this girl's room for me. I'm hoping we can catch her bragging to someone about her evil little scheme." Veronica stood up and walked over to her dresser. She grabbed her hairbrush and started working through her tangled hair. "Hey, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Of course. What do you need?" Mac asked.

Veronica pulled her hair up into a ponytail and turned to look at her. "Do you think you can take a peek at someone's school record for me?"

Mac looked uncomfortable. "Actually…no."

"Oh, okay," Veronica said. _She's probably right not to do it. I shouldn't have even asked. Something like that could get her expelled. _Veronica had a sudden flash of Piz from earlier that day, looking at her enthusiastically as she rashly asked him to do something that could have lead to him getting seriously hurt, or even killed. She looked at Mac, who was biting her bottom lip. "I'm so sorry Mac. I should never have asked."

"Huh?" Mac asked. Then she laughed shortly. "Wait, no, I'm not having like, a moral dilemma here or anything. I mean that I actually, _physically_, can't get into the records. They're too well protected," she explained. She looked slightly embarrassed.

"Oh," Veronica said, surprised. Mac had never come up short before, and Veronica could see now that it was bothering her. "So you're telling me that you just can't hack it?" she teased.

Mac made a face at her. "Very punny. Believe me, I wish I could. I got a 'C' in _Intro to Philosophy_ my first semester. Stupid Plato. I wish I'd known Max back then."

"So you could get a 'study guide'?" Veronica asked with air quotes.

"No," Mac laughed. "He was a philosophy major."

"Aha," said Veronica. She looked around the room. "Now, where did I put my Poe…?" She started moving things off of the top of her dresser, looking for the book. They had moved on to what Professor Jayne referred to as the "Dark Romantics" in _Lit_ class. Veronica had to read Edgar Allen Poe's short story _Ligeia_ for an essay due on Tuesday. _Although reading Poe is probably not gonna help with my nightmare situation._

As she continued looking for the book, Mac sighed and flopped down onto Veronica's bed.

"It was these moronic kids a couple of years ago," Mac said. "They hacked into the records, but they were really sloppy about it. They got caught, and Hearst beefed up their security system. You should see it, it's ridiculous. I've never seen anything like it bef-" Mac stopped. "I mean, I've _heard_."

Veronica laughed. "You couldn't resist, could you?"

Mac smiled ruefully. "I had to try. It's sort of an addiction. Anyway, I'll crack it one of these days. But if you need to get in there any time soon, I'm afraid I can't help you. Sorry."

Veronica shrugged. "No biggie. I'll just have to go old school, maybe do a little B and E. I like a challenge." She opened up her backpack and began to rifle through it. She glanced at her alarm clock. "Shoot, I have to go soon. I need to find this stupid book. I'm hoping it'll be a quiet day at the library so I can work on my essay."

"Isn't it always a quiet day at the library?" Mac joked.

_It is unless Logan comes to visit._ Veronica, who was still kneeling down next to her backpack, stopped her search abruptly. _What the hell just made me think about _that_? That happened, like, a year ago_. _God, that was one of the craziest things I've ever done. _She smiled to herself, remembering…

_Veronica takes Logan's hand and steers him towards the stairs. They walk with their arms wrapped around each other, oblivious to everyone else. She has just confessed to him that she's still struggling to learn how to trust. His easy acceptance of her apology, and of her imperfections, has made her feel closer to him than ever. _I never want to let go…

_She leans against Logan, not watching where she's going. She trusts him to lead the way safely. It takes them awhile to get to the top; there are three flights, and they kiss the whole way up. There is a spot in the back right corner of the top floor, where the overhead light has burned out. Veronica has passed it many times, daydreaming that Logan would surprise her at work one night and they'd end up back here._

_He sees where she is headed and takes the lead. Before they reach the spot, he grabs her and pulls her to him, spinning her around until her back is up against the bookshelf. They kiss each other almost feverishly, overtaken with desire. They tug at each others clothing, unbuttoning and unzipping, until Logan's pants drop down to his knees and hers fall around her ankles. _

_Veronica feels cool air on her bare legs, and the reality of what they are doing hits her. She is about to protest, when Logan begins to suckle a certain spot just below her ear that drives her mad. He lifts her up onto his hips, and she wraps her legs around his waist without hesitation._

_And then he's inside of her, and all thoughts of protest are gone. Veronica closes her eyes. She knows that this is insane, but right now she doesn't care. Logan is kissing her neck, softly at first and then with more pressure. He bites down lightly and she gasps, tugging at his hair. Their movement becomes more urgent._

_Suddenly, there is a loud crash and something hits her in the shoulder. Veronica's eyes open wide. Books are falling down around them. "Oh my god," she says. She is certain that they'll get caught now._

_Logan laughs into her hair, and refuses to let her go. He pulls her face to his and gives her a bruising kiss that leaves her breathless._

"_Oh my god," she says again, in a much different tone…_

Veronica took a deep breath, happy that Mac couldn't see her face._ Those books made such a racket; I was so sure we'd get caught. And Logan couldn't care less, of course. He just laughed and kept going. Typical. But it was totally worth it… _She shook her head, trying to recall what she and Mac had been talking about.

"Very funny," she finally said. She opened up the top drawer of her end table, and saw her book. "Found it!" When she lifted the book out of the drawer, something else caught her eye.

She pulled a GPS tracker out of the drawer. "Huh. I thought I lost this!" She glanced over at Mac, who was looking at her with an unreadable expression.

"Hey, Veronica," Mac began slowly, "I need to ask you for a kind of weird favor. And I need for you to not ask me what it's for. But… I know that's the kind of thing that could potentially make your head explode. So I apologize in advance."

Veronica studied Mac, extremely curious. "Hmmm. Explode? No. But it might _imp_lode." She stood up straight and looked down at her friend, who was still sitting on her bed. "What do you need?"

"Can I… borrow that?" Mac asked, pointing to the item in Veronica's hand.

Veronica looked down. "The GPS tracker?"

"Yes." Mac hesitated, then continued. "And, also, some sort of bug."

Wordlessly, Veronica handed the tracker to Mac. She bit her lip. "Listen, you don't have to tell me what it's for, obviously. But, if you're in some kind of trouble, please just-"

Mac held up her hand. "It's nothing like that. And I promise to get this back to you as soon as I can."

"Take your time," Veronica said. "I already told my dad I lost it, so he'll never miss it. I'll grab a bug for you when we stop over there later."

"Thanks. So, um, what's a good place to put it where it won't be noticed?" Mac asked.

"Well that depends. Is this a male someone or a female someone?"

"Female."

Veronica was surprised. She had kind of assumed that it had been for Max, for some reason. "Well, a piece of jewelry is always good, if you can get access to it. A watch would work well, or a necklace."

Mac looked thoughtful. "Thanks," she said vaguely.

Veronica scratched her head and looked down at Mac again. _What is she hiding? And why doesn't she want me to know about it?_ "You know this is killing me, right?"

Mac laughed. "I know." She looked at Veronica, smiling gratefully. "But thanks."

"Yeah, yeah," Veronica said, waving her hand dismissively. She looked down at her watch. "Gah, I have to go. So I'll be back around six and we can start getting ready for the party." She put her hands on her hips and spoke in her Valley girl voice. "You can totally borrow my black halter top. And I have, like, the _perfect_ nail polish color for you. It's called 'Harlot'."

Veronica smiled sweetly at Mac. She'd been teasing Mac about her "big date" with Casey all week. She ducked as Mac threw a pillow at her, laughing as she hurried out the door.

**xxXxx**

Weevil whistled suggestively as she and Mac walked through the door of _Mars Investigations_ that evening. "Damn, look at you two. All dolled up on a Saturday night. I hope the guys you're trying to impress are worth it."

"I can tell you, with confidence, that they're not," Veronica said. "Is my dad in?"

"Nah, he took off about an hour ago. There was some kinda emergency involving Breyer's vanilla ice cream and Fritos." He shrugged. "You women are a mystery to me."

_Alicia must be having cravings_. She wondered if her dad had told Weevil about Alicia's pregnancy yet. She decided not to say anything to him, just in case. _That's the Mars rule of thumb. When in doubt, say nothing._ "Well, just let him know I have to borrow a couple of bugs. I'm meeting your buddy Nelson tomorrow morning."

"Sure," he replied, leaning against the side of Veronica's old desk.

She walked over to the cabinet, hoping he wouldn't ask her what the other bug was for. Mac sat down on the couch, looking uncomfortable. Veronica had talked her into wearing a dress. Mac had already asked her twice to go back to the room so she could change. Veronica had refused. _Mac looks awesome. If Casey doesn't drop to his knees and proclaim his undying love for her tonight, then he's a fool._

"Hey," Weevil said, "Let me get your professional opinion on somethin'. I'm working on this case where my client is sure his wife is cheating. The only problem is, we can't seem to catch her in the act. I think she knows that he's onto her. Any suggestions?"

Veronica took the bugs out of the cabinet and stashed them in her bag. "Let me see the file."

He passed her the file and she flipped through it. There were photographs of the woman sitting on the beach, walking her dog, talking on her cell phone… _Wait a second._ She looked back through the pictures and noticed that there was a white poodle in every picture. "What's with the dog?" she asked Weevil.

"Oh, she loves that thing. Takes it with her everywhere she goes."

"Hmmm." Veronica thought for a minute. She smiled as the solution came to her. "Easy. Put a bug in the dog's collar."

Weevil looked skeptical. "I don't think she takes the dog with her when she does _that_."

Veronica rolled her eyes at him. "I read an interesting fact online the other day. Something like 60% of pet owners admitted to telling their secrets to their dogs and cats. If you can't catch her in the act, maybe you can get a confession." She closed the file and handed it back to him.

"It's humbling to be in the presence of such greatness," Weevil said, bowing his head.

"Please," Mac spoke up. "Don't feed her ego. If her head gets any bigger, I won't have room to move."

Veronica made a face at her. "Good luck," she told Weevil. "Let me know what happens."

"Yeah, alright. Thanks for the tip. Now go break some poor, unsuspecting guys' hearts," he said, gesturing towards the door.

Veronica turned towards Mac, who was looking slightly green. "What do you say?" she asked. "You ready to rock and roll?"

Mac sighed and nodded. "Let's go before I lose my nerve."

Veronica smiled, and the two girls headed out the door.

**A/N Okay, so I can't really afford to buy you all a pony. But please review anyway :)**


	11. The Party Chapter

**A/N Okay, guys. This one kinda kicked my ass. (34 pages!)**

**Aside from being about 3x longer than one of my normal chapters, there's another major difference. Don't want to give anything away, but think you'll all enjoy :)**

**Love all of you lovely people who take the time to review (you know who you are). But there are an awful lot of people reading this story, and really just a fraction are commenting. I put a lot of hard work into this chapter and I'm very curious to hear what everyone thinks about it. So, please, a little reviewage would make me a very happy girl. Don't make me beg. ;)**

**Chapter 11**

Veronica

When they arrived at the Casablancas' house, Veronica had to physically pull Mac out of the car. "C'mon, girlie. Now's your time to shine."

Mac glared at her, but she allowed Veronica to steer her towards the party. "I need a drink, like, immediately," she muttered.

They could hear music and voices coming from the back yard, so they walked around the side of the house. The first thing they saw was Dick, holding up the legs of a blonde girl who was doing a keg stand. People were surrounding them, cheering and clapping. The girl gestured with her hand that she was done and Dick flipped her back around so she was standing on her feet. She swayed a bit and clung to him. Dick grinned, obviously enjoying the female contact. He looked up and saw them watching him. "Macarena! Ronniekins!" he called, waving them over. "Come do a keg stand!"

Mac looked at Veronica, her expression pained. "Kill me now. Seriously. Just find a big rock, and hit me over the head as hard as you can. Even if I don't die, maybe it'll knock me out for a couple of hours."

Veronica just laughed. "Thanks, but think we'll pass!" she called to Dick.

Dick handed the blonde off to one of her friends and headed over to them. He gave them both a big smile. "Glad you guys came. Welcome to mi casa." He winked at Mac. "That's Spanish for 'my house'."

"Yes, I'm aware," Mac replied.

"Um, she needs a drink," Veronica said. "As soon as humanly possible."

"Kegs are over here. Booze is in the kitchen." Dick pointed at Veronica. "Logan's in the pool. You two better play nice tonight." He moved his finger around in a wide circle, gesturing to the house and the patio. "None of this crap is mine. You break it, you bought it. I know how you two get."

She made a face at him, but opted not to reply. _He does have a point, after all._ Instead, she took Mac's hand and pulled her towards the keg. Veronica had offered to be designated driver, but she knew they weren't going anywhere for awhile. She filled up a beer for herself, and one for Mac. It was crowded around the keg, so the two girls moved away and started walking towards the pool.

Veronica spotted Logan right away. He was in the pool, doing a lazy backstroke. She watched him for a moment. She couldn't help admiring the way his muscles moved as he swam. Water was Logan's natural element; he moved with an almost unnatural grace when he was in the water. _Lilly used to tease him that he should have been born a fish. _Veronica glanced around, and realized quickly that she wasn't the only one watching Logan. There were about fifteen other girls scattered around the pool, and all of them seemed to be enjoying the show.

When Logan got to the edge of the pool, he pulled himself up and reached for the bottle of Jack Daniels he'd left under the diving board. Veronica watched him take a swig of it and look around him. When he spotted her, he flashed her a big smile. He capped his whiskey and stashed it back below the board, then swam across the pool to where she and Mac were standing. Veronica could tell immediately that he was already pretty buzzed. He propped his elbows up onto the edge of the pool and looked up at them.

"Ladies," he greeted. "Come on in, the water's fine."

"Are you kidding?" Veronica asked. "It's freezing out here. And I forgot to bring a sweatshirt." She rubbed her arms with her hands.

"It's heated," Logan told her.

"Of course it is. Well-" Veronica began.

"Hey there," someone spoke up from behind them.

She turned around to see Casey Gant, standing with one hand in his pocket. He was staring at Mac appreciatively. _I knew the dress was a good idea._ Veronica smiled at him. "Hey, Casey."

Casey glanced at Veronica. "What's up, Veronica?" he asked. But he looked back at Mac before she even had time to reply. "Hi, Mac. You look… really nice."

"Um, thanks," Mac said. "How are you?"

"Good. So are you guys going swimming?" Casey asked, nodding towards the pool.

Veronica shrugged. "I didn't bring my suit."

Logan opened his mouth, a sly smile on his lips.

Veronica leaned down and put her finger to his lips. "I'm gonna go ahead and stop you right there."

Logan raised an eyebrow at her. "If I recall correctly, you've never been skinny dipping. I'm just trying to broaden your horizons."

Veronica smirked at him. "Well as it so happens, that information is no longer current."

"Well, now I'm intrigued." Logan grinned at her and held out his hand. "Help me up."

She took his hand and pulled him out of the pool. He stumbled slightly and had to hold onto her shoulder to prevent a fall. Veronica looked up at him, a little startled to feel his weight on her. He gazed back down at her, not pulling away immediately. The intensity of his expression was making her a bit nervous, and she took a small step backward.

"Sorry," he said quietly, letting his hand drop from her shoulder.

"For what?" Veronica asked, still staring into his eyes.

Logan blinked, seeming to snap out of it. He planted a smirk on his face. "I got you all wet." On seeing Veronica's rather alarmed expression, he gestured to her t-shirt, which now had a softball-sized wet spot on the shoulder.

"Oh. That's okay, it'll dry," she said vaguely.

Logan reached across her for his towel, which was resting on the chaise lounge behind her. As he began to dry off, Veronica noticed several girls surreptitiously moving closer to where they were standing. Logan seemed oblivious. He rubbed the towel vigorously across his head, trying to dry off his hair, then wrapped it around his waist and tucked it into the band of his swim trunks. He focused back on Veronica, who suddenly realized that she'd been staring at him the whole time.

"So," he asked, glancing around him briefly, "It's just you and Mac here tonight?"

"Yeah," Veronica answered. She looked over at Mac and Casey, who were involved in their own conversation. They were both smiling, and Mac looked a lot more relaxed.

"Where's, uh- Wallace?" he asked. "I thought he was coming with you guys?"

"I invited him," Veronica replied. "But he said he was busy."

"I heard a rumor," Logan said, raising an eyebrow, "that Wallace has a new girl. Maybe he's taking advantage of having the room to himself this weekend."

Veronica shivered. "Stop, stop! That's my future step-brother you're talking about. There's a major ick factor." She noticed movement to her left, and saw a pair of blonde girls inching their way closer. _Jesus, they're like vultures with a fresh carcass._

Logan laughed at her squeamishness and opened his mouth to say something when one of the blondes spoke up.

"Hi, Logan," she said, running her eyes appreciatively over his still-exposed chest.

Veronica recognized the girl as Lindsey Taylor, someone who had been on the fringe of the in-crowd back in high school. The other girl was Stacy Bonham, who'd been in the grade below them. She wasn't sure why the two girls were there, or what their connection was to Logan, but she felt the prick of jealousy begin in her spine. _No. I am _not _letting these two girls get me upset tonight. This is getting ridiculous._

Logan gave the girls a small smile. "Hi."

"Great party," Stacy spoke up. "It's so great to see so many people from high school again."

Veronica glanced at Mac. Her friend saw Veronica looking at her and rolled her eyes, sharing her amusement. She and Casey were no longer talking, but they were still standing next to each other. _A little bit closer than they were before, I think_.

"Hey," Lindsey said, "How come Madison isn't here yet? She told me she was stopping by."

Veronica immediately felt her body stiffen and her heart rate increase. She managed a glance at Logan, who looked stricken. "Uh," he started. "I didn't-"

_I can't believe this. I seriously can't believe this._

"Didn't you guys hear?" A new girl, a brunette, spoke up. "She crashed her car last night."

"Is she okay?" Mac asked. Veronica looked at her, surprised to hear her sounding so concerned about Madison's well-being.

"She's fine," the girl said. "But the Mercedes- not so much. Her parents are _pissed_."

"I guess she 'gotz hers'," Veronica muttered under her breath. She saw Logan look her way, and knew that he'd heard her.

"They could tell she'd been drinking," the brunette explained. "They managed to keep the police out of it, somehow. So she's not in, like, jail or anything. But I guess she's grounded, while she's home."

Veronica looked back over at Mac, prepared to share another eye roll with her, and was stunned to see that her friends face had gotten very pale. She watched Mac excuse herself and walk away from them quickly. Casey looked disappointed.

Logan turned to Veronica. "What's up with Mac?" he asked her quietly.

"I have no idea," Veronica said, not meeting his eyes. "I better go after her." She set her drink down on a table and headed quickly up the walkway towards the house, wondering what was wrong with Mac. _Did Casey say something to upset her? Is she just overwhelmed, being back here at this house?_ Veronica heard footsteps behind her, and was surprised to see that Logan was following her.

"Hey, wait up," he said, reaching forward and grabbing her arm.

She stopped walking and Logan took a step closer to her, still holding onto her arm. "Veronica," he began. He hesitated, glancing around him. They were alone. He let go of her arm, and she finally met his eyes. His expression was pained. "Veronica, about Madison-"

"Oh, no," she stopped him, shaking her head and taking a step backward. "No, no, no. We're not gonna go there again." _Logan doesn't need to know that I'm still dwelling on this. He doesn't need to know how much it still affects me. It would make me look pathetic._

Veronica had spent all summer thinking about what she'd said to Logan that night in his suite. She could admit to herself now that she'd over-reacted… _But that hasn't made the sick feeling that I still get in my stomach when I think about the two of them in bed together go away. _She took a deep breath, and continued. "Really, Logan. There's no need to dredge all of that up again." It took an enormous amount of effort, but she managed to give him a very tight-lipped smile.

Logan didn't seem convinced by her smile; instead, he appeared frustrated. He put one hand on his hip and looked at her with his brow furrowed. But after a few seconds, he nodded his head and glanced away. "Fine."

"I better go find Mac," she said. Without another word, she continued down the walkway. She heard Logan's footsteps quietly moving in the other direction.

Veronica spent a long time looking for Mac, but she wasn't able to find her friend anywhere inside or outside of the noisy house. Several girls that she recognized from high school gave her rather nasty looks when she passed by them, and more than a few tipsy guys tried to strike up conversations with her. She suddenly found herself desperately craving a bit of peace and quiet.

She walked towards the opposite side of the house from where the kegs were set up, and wound up sitting down on a bench in a relatively secluded spot below a large Sycamore tree. Veronica pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, trying to compose herself. _Coming here was a bad idea. It's like being back in high school, but worse. Logan's upset with me, I can't find Mac, and Wallace isn't even here to make me forget about what a pariah I still am._

Veronica heard voices, and she looked up from her spot to see Lindsey and Stacy strolling across the bit of lawn in front of her.

"I thought you said you saw him come over this way?" Lindsey asked her friend.

"I thought I did," Stacy said. She shrugged. "Maybe he left."

"It's _his_ party, dummy. Why would he leave?" Lindsey asked.

"I don't know. Maybe him and Veronica Mars left together. I heard they, like, dated."

Veronica sighed quietly._ God, I can't escape him. No matter where I go._

Lindsey laughed derisively. "Please. Logan Echolls and Veronica _Mars_? I seriously doubt that."

"I know for a _fact_ that they dated," Stacy said defensively.

"Yeah, for like, a _second_ in junior year. You know him, there's no way it was serious. C'mon, let's go check by the pool again."

The two girls walked away, and Veronica stood up. _Why am I hiding back here? I'm certainly not letting people like _that_ determine what kind of night I have._ She walked back towards the house with purpose. _I'm going to find Mac, and I'm going to find Logan. It's a tough day for him too; and avoiding him all night isn't going to make this any easier for either of us._

**xxXxx**

A while later, Veronica squared her shoulders and walked into the kitchen with purpose. She had found Mac, and was no longer worried about her friend. Veronica smiled to herself. _In fact, I'd say she's having a pretty good night, so far._

When she entered the kitchen, she saw that Logan was sitting on top of the granite countertop, legs kicking against the cabinet below him. He was still barefoot and wearing swim trunks, but he'd put on a t-shirt and a dark grey hoody. Logan looked up and gave her a small smile. She smiled back at him, trying to let him know that everything was okay. Veronica walked towards him, but she was intercepted by a pink-faced boy who looked like he was about fifteen years old.

"You're Veronica Mars!" the kid said enthusiastically, spilling a bit of his beer onto the floor.

"Uh, yeah," she said, trying to skirt around him.

"You're, like, my idol," the kid told her, blocking the way. "Do you still work for your dad? Like doing private eye stuff?"

Veronica could see Logan grinning at them from his spot on the counter. "Um, yeah, sometimes. In more of a consulting capacity, these days."

"Wow, that is so cool." The kid looked at her adoringly, and sloshed a little more beer onto the floor. "So, do you think that maybe we could-"

"You know what?" Veronica interrupted him. "I'm actually working on a case for my dad _right now_." She lowered her voice. "It's a big one. Do you want to help?"

His eyes lit up and he nodded.

She looked around her and grabbed a soda out of a bucket on top of the table. "I need you to go give this soda to Dick Casablancas. He'll know what to do with it."

"I'll make sure he gets it!" the kid said. He stumbled out of the room, eager to begin his quest.

Logan was laughing and shaking his head at her as she walked towards him. "Aww," he said. "You have your very own fan club. That's adorable."

"Um, you should talk," she muttered, indicating the four or five girls who were currently making eyes at him.

He chuckled and took a swig out of his nearly empty bottle of Jack.

Veronica bit her lip. She wanted to tell him to take it easy, but she didn't feel like it was her place to say things like that to him anymore. "So," she began, searching for a neutral subject. "Did you start the assignment for _Lit_ yet?"

In response, Logan leapt off of the counter. "'I cannot, for my soul," he quoted, gesturing with his hand dramatically, "remember how, when, or even precisely _where_, I first became acquainted with the lady Ligeia.'"

Veronica laughed. "Okay, I'll take that as a yes."

"'In truth," he continued, putting his hand on his chest, "the character of my beloved, her rare learning, her singular yet placid cast of beauty, and the _thrilling_ and enthralling eloquence of her _low musical language_," this he said with a raised eyebrow and suggestive look, "made their way into my heart by paces so steadily and _stealthily_ progressive that they have been unnoticed and unknown.'"

_He truly is the product of two actors._ "Showoff," she said.

Logan winked and took another swig of Jack.

Veronica glanced at the bottle. "You know," she said, unable to stop herself, "you don't always have to get _quite_ so wasted."

Logan leaned against the counter, studying her for a moment before he answered her. "No, I guess not. But it helps quiet my mind, sometimes." He gave her a sad smile.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly.

He closed his eyes. "Ghosts," he whispered. When he opened his eyes again, they looked tired and glassy.

Veronica knew that he was thinking about Lilly. _But he could also be thinking about his mom, or his dad. He's lost so many. He could even be thinking about Beaver._ Veronica glanced around her. _I knew being here would be tough for Mac, but I never even considered that it might be tough for Logan, too. Cassidy was his friend; they all probably spent a lot of time here, together._

_And what about you, Veronica_? she asked herself._ How do _you_ feel about being in the house Beaver grew up in? Beaver…or was it Cassidy? Does it matter, anymore? No matter what you call him, he's still the same kid, responsible for the same sins… The bullied, abused ex-boyfriend of one of my best friends. The boy who raped me, who tried to kill my father… who tried to kill me. The boy who ended his own life by jumping from the roof of the Neptune Grand right in front of me. _

It was Veronica's turn to close her eyes. She could still see the smirk on his face as he casually stepped backwards off the roof. Veronica tried not to think about him, and she felt very conflicted when she did. She could admit to herself that a part of her was relieved that he was dead…but that thought didn't give her any comfort. And she knew that both Mac and Logan had seen a very different side of him; a side that neither of them seemed sure had actually existed, now.

Veronica opened her eyes to see that Logan was watching her.

He looked down at his bottle, and then glanced back up at Veronica. "Well," he said, considering. "I suppose I could switch to something with a little _less_ kick." He twisted the cap back on and set the bottle down on the counter top. Then he walked over to the refrigerator and opened the door…

_She is standing in the foyer of the Kane house, having just been let inside by their maid, Rosa._

"_Hello, Miss Veronica. Miss Lilly is upstairs in her bedroom."_

"_Thanks, Rosa," she says, smiling. She is about to head upstairs to Lilly's room when she notices a shirtless boy in swim trunks, standing at the open refrigerator door; he is staring at her. He's skinny, with dark brown hair that stands up in wet spikes on his head, and a deep tan. Something about the way he's looking at her makes her blush, but she gives him a shy smile._

_He smiles back, and she suddenly realizes how cute he is. He closes the fridge door and takes a step towards her; but before he can say anything, Lilly comes bounding down the stairs. She tackles Veronica, giving her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Veronica laughs. "My darling!" Lilly says dramatically, dipping her down in a kind of tango move. "How I've missed you. What on earth are you wearing?"_

_Veronica rolls her eyes. "Sorry, I came right from soccer practice. My dad's idea. You know he hasn't admitted to himself yet that I'm not a boy."_

_Lilly is about to respond when she sees the boy standing there, watching them. "You're dripping all over my floor, _Logan_," she says, a bit haughtily. With that, she takes Veronica's hand and pulls her upstairs._

_They flop down on Lilly's bed together, giggling. Veronica and Lilly often get into laughing fits, and it takes them a while to calm down. "So who is that kid?" Veronica finally asks._

"_Who, Logan? My parents are friends with his parents. We've known him, like, forever. But they just moved to Neptune, so I guess now he'll be in our school." She shrugs. "Duncan's happy. They're seriously attached at the hip." Lilly gets up and walks to her dresser, putting on a fresh coat of lipstick as she looks in the mirror. "He's _always_ here. You'd think he didn't have a home of his own."_

_Veronica is about to speak up, to say that she thinks he's kind of cute, when Lilly spins back towards her, smiling. "He's got a _total_ crush on me. You should see the way he checks out my boobs every time I'm out at the pool."_

_Veronica glances down at her own flat chest, realizing that she can't compete with her already voluptuous friend. She covers her disappointment by smiling, and says, "Well, they're kinda hard to miss, Lil."_

_Lilly grins at her. "I know, right? It's like the _one_ good thing Celeste ever gave me."_

_After a while, the two girls head down to the pool. Lilly is wearing the red string bikini that Celeste had expressly forbid her to buy; Veronica is in a modest, navy blue one-piece suit. Duncan and Logan are still hanging out by the pool. They are taking turns doing cannonballs off the diving board._

_Logan looks up as they approach, and Veronica sees first hand that Lilly was right- he stares open-mouthed at her friend in her tiny bikini. But he surprises Veronica by turning towards her and giving her the same appreciative look that he just gave her friend. She is used to going unnoticed when she stands beside Lilly, and that usually suits her fine. She is very shy, especially around boys. But she is surprised to find that she likes the way Logan is looking at her._

_He gives her a smile and surprises her again by walking over to her. He puts out his hand, "Hey, I'm Logan."_

"_Veronica," she says, shaking his hand. He's looking at her with the strangest expression._

"'_Kay, bye Logan," Lilly speaks up. She takes Veronica's hand and leads her towards the lounge chairs. She turns to Veronica. "I know it's seems impossible, but we _are_ going to get you tan before Homecoming," she teases her friend._

_As the months go by, Veronica is astonished to learn that Logan is the son of Lynn and Aaron Echolls. She's not surprised that Lilly didn't mention it. Her friend isn't hung up on stuff like that. Lilly was right about Logan always being at her house; but Veronica is always there too. The four of them spend every day at the Kane's, and it's only a matter of time before their friendships start to grow. _

_Logan is different from any other boy that Veronica knows. He's smart, funny, mature, polite… she finds herself thinking about him even when he's not around, and watching him furtively when he _is_ around. She feels like he watches her too, but every time she looks up, he's looking away. _

_Veronica is up in Lilly's bedroom one day, trying to work up the nerve to tell her friend about her crush. Lilly sits down next to her and gives her a sly smile. "You know, Logan is cuter than I gave him credit for. What do you think?"_

_She looks down at Lilly's red and black comforter. "Yeah," she shrugs, tracing the fleur-de-lis design with her finger. "He's okay."_

"_I might have to explore that," Lilly says, grinning wickedly._

_From that point forward, Veronica backs off. Strangely, Logan seems to act differently around her, too. A bit more distant. Not too long after that, Lilly and Logan kiss for the first time. Veronica forces herself not to think about Logan that way anymore. She notices Duncan talking to her more, smiling at her more. Before she knows it, her attention has shifted to him. But she still catches Logan watching her, sometimes. And sometimes, she can't help watching him, too…_

Logan stood at the open refrigerator door, looking at Veronica and shaking his head. He was laughing. "This is, like, the fourth time I've done this." He closed the door. "I keep forgetting that no one lives here. The fridge is empty."

Veronica gave him a small smile, but she suddenly knew exactly what he'd meant when he said he was haunted by ghosts. As she looked up at Logan, she could still see a shadow of that younger version of himself, looking back at her. _We were all so innocent back then. But I guess nothing was ever simple, was it?_

"I, um, have to find Mac," she told him, feeling a bit overwhelmed. Without another word, she turned and walked away.

**xxXxx**

Veronica stood on the patio behind the pool, leaning against the railing. She had been standing there for quite some time. She could tell that the crowd was starting to thin out a bit, as the noise of the party began to fade. Veronica arched her back slightly over the railing and leaned backwards, looking up at the stars. The moon was perfectly sliced in half, like a grapefruit. From this position, she felt like she was falling into the sky. The idea of space scared her a bit, the vastness and the emptiness of it. _And I don't like the feeling of falling._ She stood up straight again. For some reason, the expression "falling in love" came to her mind.

_Loving someone means that you aren't in control anymore. _They're_ in control. What's so great about that? People always make it sound so romantic- falling in love. But what if you don't like to fall? That feeling of being so off-balance, of not knowing what's going to happen next… Being with Logan is like that, all of the time. Even now, even though we're not together. I _still_ can't control the way I react to him, and I hate that. I hate that he's so unpredictable. And when I _was_ with him, I was always so scared that he was going to hurt me. I was too afraid to trust him, and too afraid not to. But he wouldn't accept that. Every time we got back together, he pulled me even farther into him… And every time we broke up, it got worse. It hurt more._

_But Logan doesn't seem to mind that feeling of falling, of being out of control. He even seems to like it- almost to embrace it._ Veronica had always been amazed by his ability to love her so completely, without reservations. _How can someone like me love someone like him? It's too dangerous, for both of us. I _would_ hurt him, it would be inevitable. The first time we broke up, he wound up on the Coronado Bridge that night; and he never gave me a good explanation for what he was doing there. That terrified me; I never want to hurt him like that again…_

_Besides, I'm far too cynical for someone like him. He's like one of the poets Professor Jayne talks about in class, just so passionate and romantic. That side of him would be wasted on me… Just like it was wasted on Lilly. _Veronica's mind didn't seem to want to stay in the present, now that it had begun exploring the past. She looked up again at the stars…

_Veronica and Logan are lying on a blanket at Crescent Beach. He is on his back, and she is curled up next to him with her head on his chest. She can hear the waves crashing in the distance, and she can hear Logan's heart beating steadily below her. She finds both sounds very comforting. He strokes her hair gently, and she closes her eyes._

_After a time, Logan whispers in her ear, "Are you asleep, sweetheart?"_

"_No," she tells him. She adjusts her body so that she is also on her back, with her left arm still encircling his waist._

"_You see how clear it is tonight? It's a new moon. You can really see the stars," Logan says softly._

_She laughs sleepily. "There you go again with the lunar cycles."_

"_Well I guess if that's not enough to impress you, I'll have to start pointing out constellations," he teases, kissing the top of her head._

"_Show me what you've got," she challenges him._

"_All right, then. Let's see…There's Orion- you see his belt, there, and his sword?" Logan points. "And there's Sirius, his faithful dog. Do you know the myth about Orion?" _

"_No."_

"_Well, Orion was the son of the mighty Poseidon, ruler of the sea. In Roman mythology, he's known as-"_

"_Neptune," Veronica interjected._

_Logan sighed in mock exasperation. "Such a teacher's pet. Can I continue now, smartypants?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Good. And pay attention, because there's going to be a written exam when I'm done," he told her. Veronica elbowed him in the side, and he grinned and continued. "So Orion was this strong, badass hunter. Handsome, charming, and very popular with the ladies, naturally. But although many women loved him, none of them compared to Artemis. The day he met her, hunting a stag with her pack of dogs in the woods, he knew that he'd finally met his match._

_"Artemis could take down any beast she set her sights on, but she was more than just a huntress. She was a goddess. Loyal, fiercely protective of the weak and vulnerable, and wildly independent, Artemis would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. As a child, her father Zeus had granted her wish to never be required to marry. But she loved Orion; and soon after they met, she announced her intention to marry him._

_"Her brother, Apollo, was displeased with the idea of his sister marrying a lowly mortal. Some say that he was also jealous. He didn't like the idea of his sister having another man in her life who was as important to her as he was. And so one day, he tricked Artemis into shooting Orion with her bow and arrow. When she found out what she had done, she was overcome with grief. Devastated, Artemis turned him into stars and shot him into the sky as a constellation. And she swore that she would never love again." _

_Veronica looks up at him with a wry smile. "So do you read, like, 'Romantics for Dummies' before we go out?" she asks him teasingly._

_He laughs. "Yes. And I'm lending it to you first thing tomorrow." He strokes her hair back from her face gently. "Actually," he says, "My mom taught me all of the constellations when I was a kid. She told me that myth, too. Although I may have embellished, slightly."_

_Veronica turns her body so she is facing him again and looks into his eyes. "Well it's beautiful," she says quietly. "Thank you for sharing it with me." She leans up to give him a kiss, and he wraps both of his arms around her tightly..._

Veronica hugged her arms to her body, shivering slightly. She was startled to feel a sudden weight across her back. She turned to see Logan standing behind her. He had silently slipped his hoody over her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said gratefully, pulling the sweatshirt on. It was still warm from his body heat.

He just smiled and leaned against the railing next to her. "It's after midnight."

"Lilly…" she said, swallowing hard. Without a word, Logan stepped closer and put his arms around her. She allowed herself to take comfort in him for a moment, breathing in his familiar scent. When she pulled away, neither one of them stepped back. Veronica took a shaky breath. "I used to feel her around me, all of the time. But I don't any more."

Logan's eyes were dark, but she could see the emotion in them. "She'll always be with you," he said softly.

Veronica couldn't hold it together any more. She started to cry, tears streaming down her cheeks like rain. "I miss her so much," she told him. This time, she reached for him first. His arms wrapped around her easily.

"I know," he said into her hair. "I know."

He kissed her forehead like he had done so many times before. Something about the gesture was so soothing and familiar that it made her feel instantly better. She looked up at him and smiled through her tears. "Thank you."

**xxXxx**

Logan

When Veronica started to cry, Logan was a bit taken aback. It had been a very long time since she'd cried in front of him. But when she reached for him, instinct took over and he was there for her. Logan rested his cheek against the top of her head, mumbling soothing words to her. He dropped a kiss onto her forehead without thinking; it seemed like the natural thing to do. He realized, suddenly, that it had been a very long time since he'd held someone who he actually cared about. And that holding Veronica like this was vastly more intimate than having sex with some random stranger.

She looked up at him then, eyes shining with tears. "Thank you," she said softly.

He ran his thumb under her eye, wiping away her tears. "I know how you feel. I miss her too."

The sound of footsteps made both of them turn and break apart from each other. Dick stood several feet away with his arms crossed, looking at them. "Dude, if this train is leaving the station again," he said, gesturing to the two of them with his index finger, "you guys better tell me now. Cuz I sure as hell don't want to be around for the wreck this time."

Logan glanced at Veronica, who was wiping her face with the sleeve of his hoody. Neither of them responded. Logan didn't know if Dick was just oblivious to the fact that he and Veronica were sharing a moment together, or if his friend genuinely thought that he was doing him a favor; either way, the mood was broken. Whatever had been happening between them had been effectively stopped.

"Sooo…" Dick began, trying to break the tension, "Do either of you guys need a brew?"

"Uh, no," Veronica finally spoke up, sniffling once. "I see Mac over there, by the pool. I'm gonna go talk to her for a minute." She looked up at Logan before she walked away and gave him a grateful smile. "I'll see you guys later."

Logan watched her walk away, her small frame looking a bit lost inside of his hoody. _Man,_ _it's been the strangest night. _He had been sure, after Madison's name came up, that Veronica would avoid him for the rest of the night. Because she wasn't fooling him for a second- she was clearly still upset with him about it.

It hadn't even occurred to him that Madison might show up to the party. He certainly hadn't invited her._ God, that would have been a disaster_. Even just a mention of the girl's name had caused Veronica to run away from him. _As usual. But then she came looking for me…and somehow, we wound up out here, holding each other… _

"Seriously dude, are you guys getting back together?" Dick asked him, interrupting his train of thought. "Cuz if you are, I'll get the staff to send up some of those extra soft tissues. You know, for when she, like, crushes your heart into the dirt with her high heel and you sit around crying all day again. Like a big baby."

Logan elbowed him in the side but didn't answer him.

"Oh, wait a minute. Veronica doesn't wear heels. My bad. I meant, for when she crushes your heart into the dirt with her _combat boots_," Dick corrected himself. "I'll even make you a mixed tape of, like, the most depressing songs ev-"

Logan grabbed him around the waist before he could continue. "That's it, dude, you're going in the pool."

The two guys wrestled for a few minutes, but neither one of them was able to actually lift the other up off of the ground long enough to get over to the pool. In the end, they both wound up jumping in willingly. Logan was happy to go for another swim; it felt good to expend some energy. The whole night had been exhausting. He'd thought alcohol would help dull the painful memories of Lilly, or calm the emotional riptide that was his relationship with Veronica, but it hadn't.

_On top of all of that, being back at this house is kind of surreal._ He watched Dick splashing around in the water, and he could almost _see_ Beaver, jumping off the diving board. The three of them had spent so much time together, in this pool. It was so hard for Logan to equate that boy, who'd been a bit like a kid brother to him, to the person who had done so many awful things_. But I saw it first hand. He shot at me… he raped Veronica._ Logan shook with anger as he thought about that. _And I was friends with him for _two years_ after that, not suspecting a damn thing…How could he have done that to her? If he hadn't jumped, I may just have pushed him._

Logan dove under the surface and swam the full length of the pool under water. He emerged on the other side, feeling slightly calmer. When he had thoughts like that, it scared the shit out of him. _That's the thing about having a murderer for a father… you can never be sure that you won't turn into him, one day. _

He knew that there were quite a few people out there who expected him to follow in Aaron's footsteps. Yet Logan was certain, somehow, that Veronica wasn't one of them. Amazingly, she had never held his father's actions against him. Aaron had killed her best friend, had tried to kill _her_, but she'd never held Logan accountable for that. He knew, logically, that no one should blame him for the actions of his father. _But that doesn't stop them from doing it anyway. I'll forever be, in the world's eyes, a murderer's son._

_The ironic thing is that Veronica, _only_ Veronica, knows how awful the truth really is. She lived it. _She'd been his father's victim, just as he had. And the parts that he'd had to go through by himself, well… she'd seen the scars. Logan looked down at a raised, crescent-shaped scar on his left arm. It was from a car cigarette lighter. A present, from Aaron, on his thirteenth birthday. Veronica didn't know about any of that at the time, of course; Logan had hid it very well. _But she knows now. And yet, when she looks at me, even now, there's no trace of fear in her eyes. One of the many reasons why I'm in love with her._

Logan flipped over onto his back, floating in the water. He knew that most people didn't understand his relationship with Veronica. _Maybe no one, now that I think about it_. He smiled to himself. If someone had asked him _why_ he loved her, he wasn't sure that he'd be able to give them a good enough answer. Some days, when she was being particularly difficult, he wasn't sure himself. _Maybe it's because she's still the first person I think of, when I have good news to share. Because she's the only one who can see right through me with just a look. And because, no matter what she says or what she does, I know that she loves me too._

_God, I'm fucking addicted to her._

Logan flipped back over in the water and realized that Dick was no longer in the pool. He swam to the edge and pulled himself out, then pulled off his soaking wet t-shirt and tossed it onto a nearby chair. Logan walked up the pathway towards the house; he needed to find a towel. When he walked inside, he scanned the living room for Veronica without even thinking about it, but she wasn't there.

Dick, who had a towel wrapped around his waist, spotted him from across the room. "Dude, go get a towel," he called. "You're dripping all over my floor."

_Logan walks across the kitchen towards the refrigerator, leaving wet footprints behind him. He told Duncan he wanted a water, but he's actually looking for a beer. He knows his dad is about to discover that he crashed the new jet ski into a rock, leaving a deep scratch in the side of it; and he knows, when he gets home later, that he'll have to pay for that. He wants something to dull the pain._

_He spots a _Sam Adams_ in the back of the fridge, and is about to grab it when he hears the doorbell ring. Distracted, he looks up to see the maid letting a small, pretty blonde girl into the house. She's wearing very short blue shorts, white knee socks, and a white and blue soccer jersey. Logan's not sure why, but he can't stop staring at her._

_She looks up and catches him checking her out, but she doesn't seem angry; in fact, she gives him a very sweet smile. Without thinking, he closes the door and steps towards her. Suddenly, Duncan's sister appears, and it becomes clear that the two are good friends. Lilly looks up and spots him watching them. "You're dripping all over my floor, _Logan_," she says, eyes sparkling. Before he can think of anything to say, she pulls her friend away. He can hear them laughing as they run up the stairs._

_Beer forgotten, Logan heads back out to the pool. Duncan is getting ready to jump in again, but Logan stops him. "Hey," he says, "There's some blonde girl here. A friend of Lilly's."_

"_Must be Veronica," Duncan says. "She's Lilly's best friend."_

_Logan glances back towards the house. "How come I've never seen her before?"_

_Duncan shrugs. "She's been away at camp most of the summer. You'll like her, she's really nice. I have no idea why she's friends with my _sister_." He rolls his eyes and jumps back into the pool._

_When the girls come down to the pool later, Logan can't help checking out Lilly- as always. He knows that Lilly is one of those girls who likes to be looked at. She reminds him of the actresses who hang around his father at parties, wearing their short, low-cut dresses and leaning in close to his dad when his mother isn't around._

_But when he glances over at Veronica, he finds that, again, he can't seem to look away from her. He notices how blue her eyes are, out here in the sunlight; and the way her lips curve up on one side, as though she finds everything secretly amusing. Logan finds himself wondering what she's thinking about._

_He realizes that he's staring at her, so he walks over to introduce himself. "Hey, I'm Logan."_

"_Veronica."_

_But before they can say anything else, Lilly is pulling her away again…_

_Logan sees her a lot over the next few months. It takes him a little while to break through her shyness; but once he does, he's happy to discover that she's just as clever and funny as he'd suspected. She has a sharp wit and approaches everything with equal enthusiasm. And although he can't help but be attracted to Lilly, in some ways, he finds Veronica more intriguing. _

_He finds himself looking forward to English class and lunch time at school, the two times during the day when he knows he'll see her. He watches her when she's not looking, always quick to look away when she turns his way. And he begins to think about her more and more, when she isn't around._

_He is at Duncan's one day, playing a videogame, when his friend pauses the game and looks at him. "So, I'm thinking about asking Veronica to the spring dance."_

_Logan is surprised; he didn't even know that his friend liked her. Duncan and Veronica seem to get along fine, but he hasn't noticed anything beyond friendship. Besides, Logan hasn't said anything to Duncan about it, but _he_ was planning on asking her to the dance. The only reason that he hasn't yet is because Veronica has been acting kind of weird towards him for the last couple of weeks, and he's not sure if she'll say yes. _

But if Duncan has a thing for her…_ Logan has never had a friend like him before; he doesn't want to screw it up. "Oh, yeah?" he finally says, trying to sound bored._

"_Yeah. She's really pretty, you know?"_

"_Yeah," Logan says quietly. He wants to get out of there all of the sudden, so he tells Duncan that he needs to go to the bathroom. On his way down the hall, he runs into Lilly. She is wearing a tank top and a very short skirt. Her face lights up in a smile when she sees him. She skips towards him, which causes her skirt to lift up. Logan can see a flash of black lace beneath her skirt as she moves, and he somehow knows that Lilly is very aware of that fact._

"_Hey, Logan. I didn't know you were here." _

_Lilly has been very flirty with him lately; but she's like that with a lot of the guys at school, so he doesn't take it seriously. "Hey," he says. He goes to move around her, but she lays her hand on his arm to stop him. She is standing very close to him. Her breast is rubbing against his arm. Logan doesn't move away._

"_I decided that you should ask me to the dance," she says, smiling playfully._

"_Oh, you have?" he asks. Her smile is contagious, and he can't help responding with one of his own._

"_Yes. It's an honor, you know. Going with an older woman like me." Lilly's long hair tickles his bare forearm as she talks. She smells like strawberries._

_Without thinking, Logan reaches for her, and they kiss. It's not his first kiss. The previous summer, at his parents Fourth of July party, a tipsy starlet had thought it would be funny to corner him when he was on his way upstairs. He'd been sneaking cups of champagne punch all night, and his memory of that night is hazy. But he remembers the woman pressing herself against him in the hallway, and running her fingernail along his cheekbone. "You're going to be handsome, just like your father," she had said to him. He's not sure why, but kissing Lilly makes him think about that woman._

_From that point on, the four of them paired off: Logan and Lilly, and Duncan and Veronica. Logan is never really sure how it happened. And even though he ends up falling hard for Lilly, there are still times when he catches himself staring at Veronica, and wondering what kissing _her_ would have been like…_

Logan snapped out of it to see that Dick was still looking at him. "Fine, then," he said. "Let me borrow yours for a minute."

"Can't," Dick says. "Unless you want all of these fine people to get a peek at Dick Junior."

"_You're_ Dick Junior," Logan reminded him.

"Right. So Dick the Third, then. I like the sound of that," he chuckled to himself and wandered away.

Logan headed through the house, narrowly escaping the two blonde girls who had been stalking him all night_. Lindy and Sara, or whatever the hell they're called._ They were driving him nuts. He found a decorative towel in one of the upstairs bathrooms and dried himself off. When he headed back downstairs, he noticed that Veronica was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the island.

"There you are," she said, straightening. Veronica glanced at his bare chest; she pulled his hoody off of herself and handed it to him. "Here, you look like you could use this."

"That's okay," Logan said. "You know I never get cold. You can keep wearing it, if you want."

"Thanks, but we're leaving anyway, so…" She continued to hold the hoody out in front of her.

Logan took the sweatshirt from her, nodding. He was disappointed; he didn't want her to go. "You okay?" he asked.

She gave him a small smile. Her eyes were still glassy, and a little bit pink. "Yeah. You?"

He nodded again. And then she surprised him one more time that night; she reached up and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks again," she said quietly, into his shoulder. Veronica's arms were warm and soft against his bare back. Her hair brushed lightly against his neck and chest, and he felt a familiar tightening in his stomach.

"Uh-oh," Dick said from behind them. "Here we go again."

Veronica pulled away from Logan and rolled her eyes at him. "I'm just saying goodbye, Dick."

"You guys are taking off?" Dick asked. "Where's Mac?"

She gave him a strange look. "Um, out by the car I think."

Dick surprised both of them by quickly heading out of the kitchen without another word.

"Uh…what was all that about?" Veronica asked.

Logan shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. I barely saw Mac tonight. How did everything go with her and Casey?" he asked.

Veronica smiled. "I suspect things went very well."

"Good. But if Casey hurts her, I'll kick his ass."

"I'd expect nothing less," she teased. "Okay, I need my bed. I'll see you in class. Night."

"Good night."

She walked away, and he pulled his hoody back on. It was still warm, and it smelled like her. Logan brought the sleeve up to his face and inhaled deeply. The perfume that Veronica wore had a very unique scent; it was sweet, but not cloying like most perfumes. It somehow reminded Logan of the way the ocean smelled, right before a storm. Or of the way damp grass smelled after it rained. It was clean and fresh. He knew he'd be breathing it in all night.

After Lilly died, Logan used to sneak into her room sometimes when he was over at Duncan's, so that he could smell her pillow, or her clothes. Lilly had smelled fruity, but spicy. _Like strawberries and cinnamon. _But the scent had faded quickly. Logan knew this would fade, too. _But it's all I have, for now._ He opened up the cabinet where he'd stashed his bottle of Jack earlier. He uncapped it and took a swig, reveling in the familiar burn.

_I know I don't deserve her. But that won't keep me from trying to get her back._ Logan understood tonight, for the first time, that he and Veronica had been building the fire since the day they'd met. Every quip, every barb, was another log on the fire. And the ember that had finally ignited it was that first little kiss that Veronica had given him at the Camelot.

Logan had thought himself beyond surprise at that point. But when she'd reached up and kissed him, just that innocent peck on the lips…he'd been stunned. Years of imagining what kissing Veronica would be like had washed over him. So, without a second thought, he'd grabbed her and kissed her back. A_nd that was it. We've been feeding the fire ever since._

**xxXxx**

Mac

Earlier that evening…

_Casey Gant is looking me up and down, like I'm some hot blonde cheerleader. _Casey Gant._ I feel like I'm in a teen movie, and the popular girl just took off my glasses and pulled my hair out of a ponytail. And suddenly, the cutest boy in school is talking to me…_

"Hi, Mac. You look… really nice." Casey gave her a warm smile.

Mac was grateful that it was dark out; she knew she was blushing. "Um, thanks," she said. "How are you?"

"Good. So are you guys going swimming?" he asked.

"I didn't bring my suit," Veronica spoke up.

Mac caught the devious look on Logan's face, and smiled to herself as she watched Veronica walk over and put her finger to his lips. They were openly flirting already, and they'd just arrived. _This should be an interesting night…_

Casey appeared to notice, too. "Hey, what's up with those two?" he asked, lowering his voice. "Are they dating again?"

"If you have a month or so free, I might be able to explain it to you. The abridged version, anyway," Mac told him.

Casey laughed. "I don't think I can get that much time off of work."

"I thought you owned the company?" she teased him.

He raised his eyebrows, seeming a bit taken aback. Then he glanced over at Veronica and nodded, a slight smile on his lips.

"What?" Mac asked.

"I was wondering how you knew about that. And then I remembered, you said Veronica is your roommate."

"Oh. I mean, yeah, she mentioned it to me," Mac said. _Great. Now he knows that I was asking about him._ "Was it supposed to be secret?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that. I just didn't want you to think I was stuck up, you know? Sometimes, when people find out about the company, and the money, they start acting weird around me." He shrugged, smiling at her. "I guess I just wanted you to get to know me for _me,_ first."

_First? Before what?_ Mac suddenly felt very warm, even though it was a cool night. She was distracted for a moment by a couple of girls who were walking over to them. There were two blondes that looked kind of familiar, and a brunette approaching them from the other direction. All three women only had eyes for Logan. _This is going to drive Veronica nuts, _she thought gleefully. One of the blondes said something inane, and she shared an eye roll with Veronica.

"Hey. How come Madison isn't here yet? She told me she was stopping by."

_Oh no._ Mac looked at Veronica sympathetically. _Oh, I hope that's not true…_

"Uh. I didn't-" Logan began. Mac noticed that he looked just as freaked out as Veronica did.

"Didn't you guys hear? She crashed her car last night."

Suddenly, Mac's attention focused entirely on the girl who had spoken. _Madison got into an accident? But that means… that must have happened after I left the bar. Oh my god, I'm such an idiot. I saw how drunk she was last night. Why didn't I speak up? Why didn't I offer to give her a ride home, or call her parents, or even ask Bronson to keep an eye on her?_

"Is she okay?" she finally managed.

"She's fine," the girl said. "But the Mercedes- not so much. Her parents are _pissed_. They could tell she'd been drinking. They managed to keep the police out of it, somehow. So she's not in, like, jail or anything. But I guess she's grounded, while she's home."

Mac was relieved to hear that nothing had happened to the girl, but she still felt responsible. _It's like dominoes. I set the first one in motion, and everything that happens next is because of me…_ Her chest felt tight, and she suddenly wanted to be alone. She looked up at Casey. "I need to go, um, make a phone call," she said, aware that it was a very lame excuse.

"Oh, okay," he said, looking a little confused.

Mac didn't stick around to explain farther. Instead, she walked quickly up the path towards the house. Seeing the big crowd gathered around the patio, she veered right to skirt around them and instead walked to the front of the house. She started heading towards the car, not sure where else to go.

"Hey! You're not leaving already, are you?"

She turned to see Dick, inexplicably holding an inflatable palm tree. "Um… no. I-" she stopped herself and took a breath. "I just needed a minute alone."

Dick studied her, comically miming as though he were stroking a long beard on his chin. "Nope," he concluded. "I think what you need is a keg stand."

Despite herself, she laughed. "A keg stand? I'm wearing a dress."

He shrugged. "I'll hold you up. I'll make sure no one gets a peek at your naughty bits."

She knew she'd have to be slightly mad to expect him to keep that promise, but she suddenly felt like being impulsive and careless. "Fine. Let's do it," she agreed.

"Sweet!"

Mac followed Dick to the patio where the kegs were, letting him lead the way through the crowd. When they got there, he handed the palm tree off to a very confused girl. He pushed a younger kid out of the way and turned to her with a big grin on his face. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," she agreed.

Without another word, Dick lifted her upside down, holding the hem of her dress tightly to her legs. When she didn't feel a breeze where there shouldn't be one, she relaxed slightly and grabbed the hose coming from the end of the tap. Trying not to think about the countless other mouths that had been on it that night, she put it to her lips and began to take long gulps of beer. She could hear people cheering her on, but it sounded a little muffled with the blood rushing into her head. After a bit, Mac waved her arm, and Dick flipped her back around.

"Dude, that was _awesome_!" he said enthusiastically.

"Thanks." She smiled back at him, eyes tearing from the carbonation. "I've never done that before."

"You're a pro," he told her. "I'm kind of fucking impressed. I didn't think you'd go for it."

"Well now we know that if I ever decide to rush a sorority, I'll fit right in. Hey, thanks for keeping your promise not to flash my goodies to the world."

He winked at her. Mac laughed and shook her head. _This is turning out to be a very weird night._ She decided she'd better head back to the pool to see if Casey was still down there_. I hope I didn't screw things up, taking off like that. _She said her goodbyes to Dick and started down the pathway towards the pool. But when she got there, the only person around was Logan. He was laying back on one of the pool chairs, making friends with a bottle of Jack Daniels. Veronica was nowhere in sight.

She walked over to him, feeling a bit light-headed from the beer. "Hey. Where did everyone go?"

"Away." He waved his hand vaguely towards the house.

Mac could tell he was in a mood. She sat down in the chair next to him. He took another long pull from the bottle and looked at her with bleary eyes. "You okay? You took off before like a bat out of hell. Did Casey say something?"

"No," she said, surprised. "It was- something else."

"Good. Cuz I'd punch him in the face if he did," Logan told her, slurring his words a bit.

"I know," she said. "It's your favorite pastime."

"No, I'm serious. If he ever hurts you-"

"I know," Mac interrupted him. But she smiled at him sincerely. "And thank you. Are _you_ okay?"

Logan shrugged. "Nothing my friend Jack can't help me with," he replied, patting the bottle affectionately.

"Maybe Jack isn't really helping," she suggested tentatively.

He gave a bitter laugh. "Well, he's helping more than other _friends_ are tonight." He glanced at her. "I don't mean you."

"I know."

Logan looked towards the house again. "Well what do you know… Looks like one of us may just have a good night, after all." He winked at her and stood up.

She turned towards where he was looking to see Casey, walking down the path towards them.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said.

"So… I can do anything I want?" she joked.

"Precisely. Have fun." He waved once and headed back towards the house, nodding at Casey as he walked by.

Casey took the seat that Logan had vacated and turned to Mac. "Hey. I was worried that you'd left."

"Sorry about that. Something came up."

"You had to do an emergency keg stand?" he teased.

Instead of denying it, Mac laughed. "Okay, how the hell did you find out about that?"

"My network of spies and informants are _everywhere_," he told her, eyes sparkling.

"I'm not sure if that's really cool, or kind of creepy."

"Probably a little bit of both," he consented. "Unless you're James Bond. And then it's very cool."

"Only if you drive an Aston Martin."

Casey bit his lip.

"Shut up. Do you drive a freaking Aston Martin?" she demanded.

"Um… sometimes?"

She shook her head. "I know someone who'd want to sleep with you if he knew that. And he's not even gay."

He laughed. "Well, I guess I'm, uh… flattered?"

"You should be. He's my ex-boyfriend," she told him. She slapped her hand to her forehead. "And… I have no idea why I just told you that my ex-boyfriend wants to sleep with you."

"Let's blame it on the keg stand."

"Deal. Beer bad. Beer makes Mac say and do evil things." She grinned at him. "Well, either that, or you slipped something into my drink."

"You don't even have a drink."

"Which just makes it that much more impressive. I mean you're Gant. Casey Gant. Everyone knows the publishing company thing is just a front. You're an international spy."

He laughed. "Like Austin Powers?"

"He was an international man of mystery. Big difference."

Casey laughed again, shaking his head. He shifted his body so that he was sitting on the side of the lounge chair, facing her. His smile faded a bit and he looked at her intently. "I want to kiss you, Mac."

"James Bond never asks, you know. He just..."

Casey leaned in and touched the side of her face with his hand. Mac completely lost her train of thought. He stroked her hair back with his other hand, then leaned farther in and kissed her softly. He paused, then kissed her again, more deeply. He pulled her closer to him, and she wrapped her arm around his waist. Casey's fingers entwined in her hair, his thumb stroking the spot on the nape of her neck.

Mac froze. _Cassidy used to do the same thing, when we kissed._ Casey, who felt her tense up, stopped kissing her and looked at her questioningly. She pulled away. There was an awkward moment when neither of them said a word.

Casey looked down. When he looked back up at her, she saw the hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I thought-"

"No. I mean, yeah." Mac shook her head. "It's-" She stopped again, trying to collect her thoughts. She leaned forward and took his hand in hers. "I wanted to kiss you, too."

Casey smiled. He leaned forward to kiss her again, but she stopped him. He raised an eyebrow at her. "So… I only get the one?" he teased. "I seem to remember James Bond getting _slightly_ more action than that."

Mac was grateful to him for making light of things, but could tell that he was a bit confused. _And so am I._ She looked at him, considering. She didn't know him at all, when it came down to it. _But for some reason, I feel like I can trust him…_

She weaved her fingers through his and squeezed his hand lightly. "I feel like I should explain, but I don't know if you want to hear it."

"Of course," he told her. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Mac sighed. "It's being here, at this place. It's just- tough for me." She bit her lip, then continued. "I dated Cassidy. Before he-" She paused again. "I don't know if you know that."

If he'd pulled his hand away then, Mac would have been a little bit heartbroken. But instead, he kept holding on, and even moved a little closer to her. "I did hear that, actually." He looked away for a minute. "God, I'm an idiot. It didn't even occur to me how hard it must be for you to be back here. I'm so sorry." He squeezed her hand. "For the record, I really liked the kid. And…" He looked out towards the pool for a few seconds. "I think he was a good guy, deep down. I really do think that."

Mac looked at him, surprised. She didn't know if he really meant it, but she appreciated him saying it.

Casey looked back at her. "He obviously didn't know how lucky he was to have you."

Mac was touched, but a little overwhelmed. She pulled her hand out of his slowly and sat up straight. "I think I need another drink."

"I'll get it for you," he offered, moving to stand up.

She put her hand on his arm to stop him, and stood up herself. "Honestly, I feel like I need a minute. But don't leave, okay?"

He smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."

Impulsively, she leaned down and gave him another kiss on the lips. Then she smiled and walked towards the house.

**xxXxx**

"_There_ you are," Veronica said. She took Mac's arm and pulled her into the dining room, which was empty. "Are you all right? I've been looking everywhere for you."

"I'm sorry I ran away like that. But I'm fine," she assured her.

"Oh good. I was worried." Veronica sighed heavily. "God, it's like Neptune High, Part Two here tonight."

"Electric Boogaloo?" Mac joked.

Veronica laughed. "Exactly. So… speaking of high school… How are things with Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome?"

Mac blushed. "Good."

"_Good_, good?" she inquired. "Are we talking smoochies?"

"Maybe…" Mac said coyly.

"That's my girl!" Veronica said, slapping her five. "I knew you'd own him in that dress."

Mac laughed, but sobered a bit when she saw the sad look behind Veronica's smile. "How's your night going? Are you okay? Because if you want to leave-"

Her friend waved her hand at her. "Not at all, I'm fine. Just- you know, me and Logan…" She shrugged. "The usual."

Mac was slightly disappointed. The two of them had looked so happy earlier, down by the pool. She'd hoped they might actually talk through some things tonight. "Well, I just saw him in the kitchen," Mac informed her. "He's alone…"

Veronica nodded and glanced in the direction of the kitchen, but looked hesitant to move away.

"He looks like he could use a friend," Mac added pointedly.

Veronica rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Okay. I'll go say hi. I was looking for him anyway."

"Good," Mac said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone who I need to go make out with."

**xxXxx**

Mac and Casey spent the next hour by the pool, talking and laughing together. Mac couldn't believe how relaxed she was around him, and how easy he was to talk to. She decided not to worry about the awkwardness of where she was; she was having a great time with him, and for once she didn't want to over-think things. She knew that the beer was helping keep her mellow, but that was okay too. _I'm happy_, she realized at one point_. I'm actually really, really happy right now._

Casey's phone buzzed and he looked down and groaned. He sighed and reached up to touch her cheek. "My eleven o'clock appointment just got moved up to eight."

"Eight in the morning?" she asked incredulously. "On a freaking Sunday?"

"I know. It's obnoxious what some people expect you to do, isn't it? But it's this guy we've been trying to work out a deal with for months. His last four books have been on the _New York Times _Bestseller List, and he's switching publishers, so…" He shrugged. "So as much as I hate to say this, I really should get going."

They were sitting next to each other now, on the same lounge chair that Logan had been laying down in earlier. Casey reached up and brushed her hair out of her face, then ran his fingers down her cheek to her chin. He cupped her chin in his hands and pulled her gently towards him. They kissed slowly, almost lazily, until he bit down lightly on her lower lip, tugging at it with his teeth. The kiss got more intense as he wrapped one arm tightly around her waist and ran his fingers through her hair with his other hand.

Mac's fingernails trailed lightly down his neck, her other hand pressed against his chest. She ran her tongue along his upper lip, and he pulled her even closer to him, letting his lips stray from her mouth and venture down to her neck. She had to stop herself from moaning out loud. _Wow. This is … different. _Mac didn't remember ever feeling quite so breathless from a kiss before.

When they broke apart, she was pleased to see that Casey looked just as dazed as she felt. "Well," he said, smiling almost sheepishly. "On that note…" He stood up, and she did as well. Casey looked down at her, seeming hesitant to leave. "I know this is, like, the most cliché thing in the world to say, but I'm tired, so I hope you won't hold it against me. I had a really good time with you tonight."

Mac smiled. "Me too."

"And I know if I kiss you again, I'll miss my meeting tomorrow, because… damn. You're good," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"You're not half bad yourself, Austin Powers," she teased.

He smiled, but then his expression turned serious. "I'd really like to see you again. Are you free next Friday?"

"I am. And I'd like that." Mac told him her phone number, and he typed it into his phone.

"So…" he said, eyes darkening as he looked down at her. "Do you think a hug would be safe? Or maybe a kiss on the cheek?"

"Oh, who cares?" she asked. She reached up and pulled him towards her again.

**xxXxx**

Mac felt a little lost after Casey left. She couldn't believe how much she already missed him. She found herself wandering around, looking for Veronica or Logan, or even Dick. When she couldn't find any of them outside or downstairs, she decided to walk upstairs. As soon as she got to the top of the stairs, she was struck by sudden, powerful memories. _That's his bedroom, right there…_ Almost unable to stop herself, she walked slowly down the hall towards Cassidy's room.

When she opened the door, she could see by the light of the hallway that everything was different. _Well that makes sense. None of the furniture in the house is actually theirs._ She wondered, briefly, what had become of Cassidy's things. She'd been at Dick and Logan's enough times to know that none of his stuff was there. _Is it in storage? Did his family sell everything?_

She walked forward and sat down tentatively on the edge of the bed, not bothering to turn the light on. It wasn't his comforter, or even his bed, but it was still in the same position that Cassidy's bed used to be in. She closed her eyes and ran her hand across it, remembering kisses, and tickle fights, and card games played, right in this spot.

"Whoever you are, get the fuck out of here. This room is off limits."

Mac opened her eyes with a start, looking around her. She noticed a figure sitting in the corner, in a rocking chair. She stared, trying to get her eyes to adjust. "Dick?"

The person got up and walked closer. "Mac?" he asked. He sat down next to her on the bed. "Sorry. I didn't know it was you."

She could see his face now, in the diffused light from the hall. She could see that his cheeks were wet with tears. "No, _I'm_ sorry," she said. "I don't even know what I'm doing in here. I'll go."

But before she could stand up, he grabbed her forearm. "No, please. Stay."

Mac was surprised. She'd never seen Dick like this before. "Okay," she agreed, almost in a whisper.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. She watched him take a long sip of something from a red plastic cup. "So do you hate him, too? Just like everyone else?" Dick's voice was strangled as he spoke the words.

Mac looked at him. "I still have some good memories," she admitted quietly. Seeing Dick all choked up like this, it truly hit her for the first time how hard it must have been for him to lose his brother. She felt a little bit ashamed for blaming Dick this whole time for the way Cassidy had turned out. Mac found herself thinking about brothers and sisters.

_I wonder what's considered normal sibling bullying, and what crosses the line? I mean, I remember taking away Ryan's favorite toy and hiding it when he was just a baby. It made the most annoying sound. He cried for hours before I finally relented and gave it back. But I was just a kid myself, and I remember I did feel bad when he was crying… It's not like I offered him up to the Goblin King or anything._

_And then there was that other time, when I mixed all of the liquids in the fridge together and made him drink it… and he threw up all over me. Or the time I convinced him that there was a troll named Barry who lived in his closet, and he had to leave him presents every night so he didn't get eaten. Kids give each other a hard time, especially older brothers and sisters. Can anything that Dick did to Cassidy have been that much worse? I mean, I'm sure Dick took it too far sometimes; but he couldn't have been awful to him _all_ of the time. They _always_ hung out together. Cassidy was like his shadow._

Mac cleared her throat. "No," she said, her voice firm. "No, I don't hate him."

**xxXxx**

Dick

Dick smiled at Mac through his tears. He knew that she could see that he was crying. It didn't bother him, somehow. "Thanks. That kind of means a lot."

Mac bit her lower lip. "I should tell you, though, I'm still struggling to forgive him."

He looked down. "Yeah. Yeah, me too." Dick took a long gulp of beer. _Logan had the right idea tonight. I should have brought something stronger._ He turned back to Mac. "So how come me and you aren't friends?" he asked. "Is it because of all the crap I said to you?"

Mac shrugged. "No. You apologized, and I accepted your apology. But you- well, you always act like kind of a spaz around me."

Dick chuckled and wiped his face with the sleeve of his hoody. "Really? Huh. Maybe I'm trying too hard to get you to like me."

"Why do you even _care_ if I like you?" she asked. "I don't want to sound mean, really. I'm just curious."

"I dunno. It's just kinda cool to hang out with someone who used to hang out with my brother, you know? It's like when you're around, it reminds me of the good parts of Beav." He looked down, and his voice got quieter. "It's like, the only time I think about the good stuff anymore. When you're around."

Mac looked like she was about to say something. But now that he'd started talking, Dick felt like he wanted to say what was on his mind before she got annoyed with him and took off. _That seems to happen a lot, when I talk to people._ "Everyone thinks he's a monster. Like, the whole world. But to me, he'll always be my kid brother."

"Yeah," she said quietly. "I know what you mean." She looked at him for a minute before continuing. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did you call him Beaver? I mean, I get _why_ you called him that, but did you do it just to piss him off? Didn't you know how much he hated that?" she asked.

When he started laughing, Mac looked a bit taken aback. He realized it probably wasn't the reaction she was expecting, so he started to talk quickly, to explain himself. "When he was a kid, and his grown up teeth started to come in, the only ones that came in for like, ever, were the two front teeth. And they were, like, twice the size of the rest of his teeth. So my dad started to call him-"

"Beaver," Mac said, realization dawning on her face.

"Yeah. Everyone always thought it was because he was kinda my sidekick, like it was dergatory."

"Derogatory," Mac corrected him absently.

"Right. You know, because we're Dick and Beaver, like-"

"No, I get it," she interrupted him.

Dick took another swig of his beer. "Beaver was kind of a, what do you call it, a term of endearment. For me, anyway. Besides, it was better than what my dad _used_ to call him."

"What did he used to call him?" Mac asked quietly.

"Cassie. Which is a girl's name. It was kind of a family joke. My mom thought he was going to be a girl, and she had the name Cassidy picked out already. Guess they were too lazy to pick a different name. My dad got a big kick out of it. I thought I was doing him a favor, calling him Beav," Dick told her. He looked around the room. "Man it's so weird being here, with everything all different. I thought it would be kinda cool to be here again, like it would be like old times. But it kinda sucks. It's weird, but I like hanging out at his grave better. You know? I crack open a beer, tell him what's been up."

He glanced at Mac; she had a strange expression on her face. _I wonder what she's thinking about? Probably something I don't want to know. _But then she spoke up.

"_You_ left the bottle. At his grave."

"Huh?" he asked.

"I was there, the other day, and there was a Heineken bottle on the ground. Did you leave it?" she asked.

"Probably. You went to his grave?" he asked. He was genuinely surprised.

"Yeah," Mac said. She looked a little bit uncomfortable. "I, um, threw the bottle, and it broke. I was kind of upset. I just don't want you to think someone was like, vandalizing his grave. Sorry."

He shrugged. "It's cool. I get pissed off at him too, sometimes. Mostly I just get pissed off at myself."

"For what?" she asked. "You can't…blame yourself for what happened."

"Sure I can. I fucked up." Dick felt the hot tears start to stream down his cheeks again, but he didn't bother to wipe them away. "I was his big brother. I wasn't supposed to let other people hurt him like that. I should've know something was going on when he was playing little league. I caught him crying in the bathroom before he had to go to practice. _Twice._ He was all freaked out, asking me to make something up to my parents so he didn't have to go."

"What did you do?" Mac asked softly.

"I took him out into the yard, and made him stand there while I threw baseballs at him." Dick glanced up at Mac, and he could see that she was horrified. Her mouth was open in shock. "I know that sounds really bad. But I thought he was all freaked out about practice because he wasn't any good. And, you know, sometimes kids are afraid of the ball. I figured if he saw it didn't really hurt, it might help him get better. Hey, what the hell do I know, right?" Dick downed the rest of his beer and set the empty cup down on the bed stand.

Mac looked thoughtful. "Actually, there's a little bit of logic to that. I mean, it's kind of _caveman_ logic, but I think I get it. Then again, I'm pretty drunk."

Dick laughed. "Just so you know, I only hit him a couple of times. I wasn't, like, pelting him with baseballs for hours. I mean, I'm not _that_ big of a douchebag." He paused. "I really did try to look after him. I know people don't think that I did. The thing was, me and my dad were good at sports and stuff. But Beaver was so scrawny and little. And he cried a lot, when he was a kid. At girlie shit, like Disney movies. When Bambi's mother died and they shot that rabies dog- shit like that. It drove my dad crazy." Dick shook his head. "I knew he was different. I didn't want other kids picking on him. I guess I thought I could toughen him up."

Mac was quiet for a few moments. "I wonder why he never told me about his nickname, or… some of the other stuff. I guess I really didn't know him at all."

Dick wiped his face again, and looked at Mac. "No," he said. "You knew him." He gave her a little smile.

Mac leaned towards him, and Dick moved backward, startled. "Uh, I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean, it would be kinda weird, especially being in here and everything. No offense. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're totally hot."

Mac rolled her eyes and smacked him on the arm. "I'm not gonna kiss you, you doofus. I was gonna give you a hug."

"Oh. Sweet, let's do that."

She shook her head at him, but put her arms out and hugged him. It was brief, but it made Dick feel a lot better. He looked at her. _Things are gonna be okay with us now._ "Just so you know, I'm pretty sure you're the coolest girl ever. Just don't tell my wife I said that."

Mac rolled her eyes and stood up. "Whatever, dude." She walked towards the door, then stopped abruptly and turned back around to face him. "Wait a minute- you're _married_?"

**xxXxx**

After his midnight swim with Logan, Dick couldn't remember where he'd put the bag with all of his clothes. He wandered around in just a towel for a while, until he remembered that he'd stashed them under the sink in the bathroom. He changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and headed into the kitchen for a new cup. It was the fifth time he'd had to get a new one; he kept losing track of them.

When he walked into the kitchen, he saw Veronica standing on her toes, holding onto Logan tightly. Her face was buried in his shoulder. _Uh-oh. This can't be good. That's twice tonight I caught them getting all cozy with each other._

"Uh-oh," he spoke up. "Here we go again."

They broke apart, and he could tell that Veronica had been crying. _Nope._ _Not a good sign at all._ "I'm just saying goodbye, Dick."

"You guys are taking off?" he asked. He glanced around. "Where's Mac?"

"Um, out by the car I think."

Dick wanted to say goodbye to Mac before she left, so he headed out to the front of the house. He found her leaning against the passenger door of Veronica's Saturn. Dick was glad Veronica had finally traded up; her other car had been a piece of junk. "Hey," Mac said when she saw him. For once, she actually sounded happy to see him.

"Hey. Heard you were leaving. Just wanted to say hasta."

"Thanks for inviting me," she said. "It was… well, it was interesting."

"Glad you came. And, uh, thanks for talking to me, before." He wanted to say more than that. It had meant a lot to him that she'd listened, and actually given a shit about what he was saying. But he wasn't great at putting stuff like that into words. _Besides, I think she knows what I mean._

Mac smiled. "That was really nice, actually." She cleared her throat. "Hey, have you seen Veronica?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "Her and Logan are in the kitchen, like, making out."

"_What?_" Mac asked. "They're kissing?"

"Well, no. They weren't kissing. But you know that shit's on the horizon. This is how it starts. Trust me, I know the signs. I'm practically certified," Dick said. "I should make pamphlets for everyone, you know, like the ones people give out that tell you what to do when there's an earthquake? Let the general public know how to handle it."

Mac laughed. "So I'm sensing you don't want them to get back together?" Before he could answer, her eyes got big and she shook her head at him.

He turned to see Veronica heading towards them. He tapped the hood of the car twice and started walking away backwards. "Alright ladies. Drive safely." He was almost back at the house when he suddenly remembered something and jogged back to the car. "Hey," he said to Veronica. "What the hell was up with that soda you asked that kid to give me? I carried that thing around for, like, an hour."

Veronica burst out laughing and got in the car.

"What?" he asked. "I don't get it. Was there a clue inside or something?"

She closed the door, but rolled the window down. She was still laughing. When she'd calmed down, she put her hand on his arm. "Thank you, Dick. I needed that." Without another word, she rolled the window up and pulled out of the driveway.

"Um, your welcome?" he said, still very confused. _I swear, she is the weirdest girl on the planet. Maybe that's why her last name is Mars. _He chuckled to himself and headed back inside.

**xxXxx**

Dick flopped down on the couch next to Logan and tapped his plastic cup to his friend's. "Buddy! Wake up, bro, it's still a party." It was late, and the party was winding down. But there were still quite a few people milling around.

Logan nodded, but yawned. He ran his hand through his hair and glanced around the room. His expression suddenly darkened. Dick followed his eyes to see the two blonde girls who'd been hanging on Logan all night walk into the living room.

He nudged Logan. "Dude, which one do you want?" Dick always let Logan take first pick. _I've gotten an awful lot of ass over the years, thanks to him. It's only fair._

"Not interested, man. They're all yours."

"Sweet! I love being the consolation prize."

Logan shook his head at him, but he was smiling. "I might go crash for a little while. I'm kinda beat. Wake me up when you're ready to play."

He stood up, and Dick suddenly realized that tonight wasn't about hooking up with some random girl. "You know what bro? I think it's time to break out the Playstation."

His friend looked at him and nodded. "Alright, man. I'll go grab it."

The Playstation had been Logan's idea. When Dick had mentioned that this was probably the last time he'd ever be at the house, Logan had suggested they bring it over with them. The three of them had spent so much time at this house, playing videogames. It felt like a fitting way to say goodbye.

While Logan was out at the car, Dick went around the house and yard, kicking everyone out. "Sorry, man, neighbors complained. You know how it is. Cops are probably on their way." Within fifteen minutes, everyone had left, including the two blondes. Dick headed into the kitchen and opened up one of the top cabinets. He pulled out a bong, filled it with water and packed it.

He lit the bowl and let the tube fill up with smoke, then sucked in deeply. He held his breath for a few seconds and then exhaled the smoke, coughing a couple of times. Dick glanced around his kitchen. _Not really my kitchen, is it. This place isn't my home anymore._ He had so many memories, hanging out in this room with his brother. _Me and Beav used to talk Spanish with the maid. He picked it up so quick._ Dick actually knew quite a bit of Spanish, too. It came in handy when he was down in Mexico, surfing. Most people didn't know that he was practically fluent, except for Logan.

_I know everyone thinks I'm an idiot. I don't mind. When people don't expect too much of you, they don't care so much when you fuck up. _Dick actually had an IQ well above average. But it was nowhere near Beaver's. He'd known his brother would always be known as the smart one, so he hadn't bothered trying. In some ways, it was nice never having to work hard at anything. The only down side, he'd discovered, was that no one ever took you seriously.

Dick hadn't realized what a charmed life he'd been leading until his brother had killed himself. He'd never thought too much about how lucky he was to have a nice house and a nice car, to be able to take trips all over the world. His parents had pretty much let him come and go as he'd pleased. He'd lived for the next party, the next surf trip, the next chick. Dick never thought too far ahead. When Beaver jumped, everything changed.

Logan walked into the kitchen then, interrupting his train of thought. Dick handed Logan the bong, and his friend accepted it and took a deep pull. He coughed once and exhaled. "Come on, I got it set up in the living room."

"Sweet."

They walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch. "So you didn't want to hook up with those chicks, huh? Is that cuz you and Ronnie are hanging out again?"

Logan looked at him, a little annoyed. "Dude, that's like the third time you've asked me about Veronica tonight. What gives?"

Dick had nothing against Veronica. _But Logan is a hell of a lot more fun when he's single. He actually hangs out and does stuff._ Dick also knew from firsthand experience that Logan moped around for months every time the two of them broke up. _I hate seeing him so bummed out like that. He needs to date more chicks like Parker. He bounced right back from that one._ But Dick knew better than to say anything negative about Veronica to Logan. _I like having both of my arms._ So he just grinned at his friend and gave him two thumbs up. "Nothing, bro, that's _awesome_."

Logan shook his head at him. Dick could tell he wasn't buying his enthusiasm, but he didn't pursue it. "Whatever, man. Put the game in."

The two of them played into the early morning. They took bong hits, and ate Combos, and threw Combos at each other. They told stories about Beaver, and about the crazy shit they used to get into in high school. Finally, as the sun started to come up, Logan announced that he was done. He rolled up his hoody into a ball to use as a pillow, and lay down on the other couch; he fell asleep almost instantly. It took Dick a little longer; his head was full of memories. But when he finally drifted off, he slept more peacefully than he had since the night he'd heard the terrible rumor at a party that his brother was dead.

**A/N So there you have it. What did everyone think of the multiple POV's? Did you have a favorite? I was trying not to be too repetitious; I think I was able to pull it off. Logistically, the timeline was a big pain in the ass lol. But it should hold up, even under scrutiny ;) I have to say, I couldn't be happier with the way this one turned out. Hope you all agree.**


	12. Logan III

**A/N Amazing reviews for the last chapter. Thank you all so much. Please, please keep them coming! Quick note to Ali-Cat about Orion: I'm a sucker for details, so I looked it up. Turns out some people think it's an arrow and some think it's a sword, so we're both right ;) **

**This chapter ended up being a LOT longer than I intended (32 pages) but this character seems to have a lot to say, so I just went with it. Have to give a shout out to my boyfriend for providing one of the funniest lines in the chapter. **

**I had this whole, long thing written about my thoughts on how Veronica was portrayed in Season 3, but I decided not to post it. All I'll say is that I'm working with what the show gave us, and I'm trying very hard to redeem her character. It's only been about 2 months of "Neptune" time since the story began, and change happens gradually. That goes for other characters, as well…**

**Chapter 12**

Logan

_Bobby,_

_Hey man, I can't tell you how good it is to hear from you. It's been too long. Been thinking a lot about the good old days lately. Know it probably can't happen, but would love to meet up for a surf trip._

_Glad to hear things are good with you. Surprised you found someone who can put up with your crap ;) Hope I can meet her one of these days. (I have to make sure she knows what she's getting herself into.) How's the little one? Dude, it's still so weird to think about you being a dad._

_We miss you a lot around here. Especially me and Blondie. I'll pass along your info to her as requested._

_Keep in touch brother._

_- Lee_

**xxXxx**

Logan sat in Lit class, chewing on his pen cap and glancing at the door. He was over ten minutes early, but he knew that Veronica would be walking in any second. Logan had noticed that since the beginning of the semester, he and Veronica had been arriving at class earlier and earlier. Recently, they'd been lingering after class as well. He knew this was a good sign.

Over two weeks had passed since his party, and things were different between them. Logan wasn't sure why, and he couldn't exactly put his finger on _what_ had changed, but he felt it nonetheless. They'd been friends for years; but their friendship felt more solid now than it had ever been before. There was a new openness about Veronica. It had been happening gradually, but since the party he had really become aware of the difference. _She actually tells me what's going on in her life, for a change._

Veronica had told him all about her move into the new house, and about how strange it was for her to go from a two-person family to a five-person family. She'd even talked about how weird it was for her to become a sister, after having been an only child all her life. And she'd told him how Keith was planning on proposing to Alicia, something Wallace didn't even know about.

Yet in other ways, things hadn't changed at all. They hadn't spent any time together outside of class since the party, and she hadn't made any more late night phone calls to him. _And physically, she seems so guarded. When we talk, she stands farther away from me than she used to. It's like she's afraid of me, but that doesn't make any sense…_ Logan found it very frustrating. _Just a couple of weeks ago, she was crying in my arms under the stars, and now she's so distant._ _It's like we're in a holding pattern, and I need to figure out a way to break out of it. We're always playing chess, the two of us. I'm just trying to stay two moves ahead._

Veronica walked in then, and he struggled to make his expression relaxed and calm. She took her seat and turned to face him. "Hi."

"Hey. So… heard from anyone we know lately?" he asked.

She pulled a notebook and pen from her bag, then turned back to him with a smile. "I have. And why exactly is he referring to me as 'Blondie'? I suppose I have _you_ to thank for that?"

He laughed easily. "Well we have to be careful, right? I knew he'd know who I was talking about."

"Uh-huh. And I take it 'Lee' is in reference to your initials? Logan Edward Echolls?"

"Exactly," he answered, impressed that she remembered his middle name. "Now explain to me why he's calling himself 'Bobby'?"

Veronica smiled. "It's a joke. When he took off junior year, he got a passport under the name Roberto Nalbandian."

"Aha."

"And just so you know, if he mentions 'Lo', he's talking about Lilly. His daughter Lilly, I mean. We used to call Lilly 'Lola' sometimes when we were kids," Veronica explained. "I don't even remember why."

"Got it." He paused, watching her carefully before he continued. "And has he told you about his special lady friend?"

"He has," she answered, expression unchanged.

Logan raised an eyebrow at her. "Jealous?" he asked.

She made a face at him. "Not at all. I'm happy to hear it, actually. Duncan's not good at going it alone. He needs someone to take care of him."

_Don't we all? _Logan cleared his throat and continued as casually as possible. "So, don't forget, we're going to McGill's on Saturday, for my birthday. Think you can make it?"

"Of course," she said, smiling genuinely. "I wouldn't miss it."

_And will you be alone, or will you be bringing Piz with you?_ But he didn't want to ask her that. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep the animosity out of his voice. Because he _hated _the fact that she was still dating him. Logan didn't understand why they were still together, and truthfully, it was starting to make him a little nervous. _I don't want him there. But I'll be damned if I admit that to her._

When Logan had invited Veronica to the party, he'd included Piz in the invitation in an effort to show her just how much he'd matured._ And, of course, I regretted it immediately. But I can't exactly take it back now. _He was resigned to the fact that Piz would be there, now. And he was trying his very best to prepare himself for it.

He was spared having to think about it anymore by Professor Jayne, who was beginning her lecture. Logan looked around, surprised to see that the class had filled up with people while he'd been talking to Veronica. He turned towards the front of the room, trying to focus his attention away from her.

"Today we'll be discussing Lord Byron, and his contributions to Romantic literature. One of the most prominent character types that we see in this period is the 'Byronic Hero'. This term is of course _named_ for Byron, who cultivated this kind of character in his work. He himself possessed many of the traits inherent in his own namesake. Lady Catherine Lamb famously described Byron as 'mad, bad and dangerous to know' on the night that they met. They ended up becoming lovers. We do like our bad boys, don't we ladies?" She gave a knowing smile and a wink to the class.

Logan glanced at Veronica with a smirk on his lips. She rolled her eyes at him.

"The Byronic Hero is first and foremost someone of great passion. He is mysterious, seductive, and powerful, but suffers from a troubled past. This character is perceptive, intelligent, and even cunning. He is sophisticated and confident, often to the point of being arrogant. They have a marked distaste for social institutions, and frequently shun society as a whole; although, ironically, they are themselves wealthy and of high standing. Some of the more negative aspects of this character are moodiness, cynicism, self-destructive behavior, and a certain moral leniency."

Logan could feel Veronica's eyes on him, so he turned towards her. She was looking at him with a knowing smile and both eyebrows raised. She pointed her index finger at him. He leaned towards her. "What?" he whispered.

"It's like she's reading your profile off of Match dot com," she whispered back.

"Oh, shut up," he said.

She grinned back at him.

"We could spend the whole class discussing examples of modern day Byronic Heroes. And trust me, they are everywhere."

"Sometimes they're even sitting right next to you," Veronica said under her breath. Logan ignored her, but he couldn't help smiling. _She thinks I'm intelligent, powerful and seductive? I'll take that as a compliment._

"From characters in comic books and television, to real-life musicians and actors, they have pervaded our culture. But as this is a class about literature, that's what we'll focus on. One of the most cited examples of the Byronic Hero is Heathcliff, from Emily Brontë's_Wuthering Heights_. We'll be discussing that in much greater detail when we read that novel in a few weeks. Another is Mr. Rochester from _Jane Eyre_. If you're looking for modern examples, I would accept Lestat, from Anne Rice's _Interview with a Vampire_. Or, a personal favorite of mine, Severus Snape from the _Harry Potter_ series.

"Byron is also well known for his poetry; in fact, many of his poems are considered to be almost textbook examples of Romanticism. Please turn to page 342 in your anthology and follow along with me. You should be able to recognize many of the themes we've been discussing in this class within his poetry: simplicity, an emphasis on feeling and romantic love, and a deep respect for nature and beauty. This poem is called _It is the Hour_:

_It is the hour when from the boughs  
The nightingale's high note is heard;  
It is the hour - when lover's vows  
Seem sweet in every whisper'd word;  
And gentle winds and waters near,  
Make music to the lonely ear.  
Each flower the dews have lightly wet,  
And in the sky the stars are met,  
And on the wave is deeper blue,  
And on the leaf a browner hue,  
And in the Heaven that clear obscure  
So softly dark, and darkly pure,  
That follows the decline of day  
As twilight melts beneath the moon away._

Logan was riveted as he listened to the words of the poem. For the second time during this class, his thoughts jumped to a night spent with Veronica at Crescent Beach. He could almost hear the waves crashing and smell the salt on the air…

_Logan is lying on his back, and Veronica is curled up next to him. He is pointing out constellations and telling her the mythology behind them. He tells her that his mother taught him about the stars. Veronica understands that he's sharing something with her that's special to him, and she kisses him very gently on the lips. _

_She adjusts her body so that she's lying on top of him, her head on his chest. The sun has long since gone down, and it's cool out now. He pulls the sides of their blanket up so that it is covering them, wrapping them both in a cocoon. _

"_If you're cold, we can go," he tells her as he strokes her hair softly._

"_No, this is nice," she mumbles into his neck. "You're so warm. Am I crushing you?"_

_Logan laughs and squeezes her tightly. "Um, no."_

"_You're so comfortable. I could fall asleep right here," she says._

"_Go ahead, baby. I'll wake you up in a little while." He kisses her forehead. He knows he won't really wake her, if she falls asleep. Nothing else in the world feels as good to him as the slight weight of Veronica's body on top of his. _I could stay this way forever.

_But Veronica doesn't go to sleep. Instead, she puts her hands on either side of him and lifts her body up so that she is hovering over him. She looks into his eyes for a long moment. "I love you, Logan."_

_Logan can't hide his smile from her. He's been waiting to hear this for far too long. "Well it's about time," he says, voice rough with emotion. He puts both of his hands on her face and pulls her down, kissing her passionately…_

Logan couldn't help glancing at Veronica, and was surprised to find that she was looking at him, too. The emotion was clear on her face for a few seconds, before she was able to pull that familiar mask of hers back on. Logan turned back towards the front of the class, hiding his smile from her.

**xxXxx**

_Lee,_

_For better or worse, Lo is just like her aunt. She's a beauty and she knows it. She has everyone wrapped around her finger, and none of us mind one bit._

_It's so awesome to be able to talk to you again. I'm really sorry I didn't get to say goodbye before I left. Blondie thought it would be too dangerous for you to know what was up to, and I agreed. Besides, you had enough going on at the time without dealing with my stuff too. _

_I'd love a surf trip! Hopefully one day, man. _

_So I do hear things, from time to time… are you two back together? Didn't want to ask Blondie. I know how touchy she can be, and thought it might be a sensitive topic. If you are, I'm genuinely happy for you two. No weirdness at all, so please don't worry. I'm madly in love with Mia. Actually planning on popping the question tonight! SO nervous, dude. I might wait to send this until I get an answer. _

_Write soon,_

_Bobby_

_PS- She said yes!_

**xxXxx**

The following day, Logan stood in line at the food court. He'd just come from the library, and had decided to eat on campus instead of heading back to the hotel. But the line was long, and he was starting to get impatient. He looked around the food court for a distraction. He spotted Veronica almost immediately, and was about to abandon his place in line to go say hello when he noticed that Piz was standing next to her.

Logan looked away; he didn't want see them together. He'd spotted them a couple of times in the past on campus, eating lunch or walking to class, but he'd always walked quickly in the opposite direction. Seeing Veronica was one thing; seeing _Piz _and Veronica was something he knew he couldn't handle. Yet curiosity got the better of him this time, and he glanced back over at them.

Veronica seemed to be telling Piz a story. She was smiling and gesturing animatedly with her hands. Piz was laughing. As Logan watched them, he grew both more surprised and more concerned. _She seems so relaxed with him. So…happy._ There was an easy comfort between the two of them, and he hadn't been expecting that. Most of the time, he tried to pretend that Piz didn't exist. _The reality of seeing them together like this…_

He watched them walk their trays of food over to an empty table and sit down. Veronica took the bun off of what looked like a hamburger, and she made a face. Without a word, Piz reached over and picked the offending item off of the burger for her. Logan knew that it was a pickle; Veronica hated them, and didn't even like to touch them. It made him a bit sad that someone else knew these little quirks of hers.

But on the other hand, he observed that they were sitting across from each other, and not next to each other, as he and Veronica usually had. And they weren't touching, or kissing. _When we were together, I made it a point to have some part of my body touching hers whenever possible. _They would hold hands, or sit with their legs entwined, or steal kisses as they spoke to one another. All of it was like a sweet, tortuous buildup throughout the day. _And it usually led to a pretty mind-blowing conclusion. _A smile played on Logan's lips as he had a sudden memory._ Like that day at the movies. I don't even remember what we saw that day, but I remember what Veronica was wearing…_

_Logan and Veronica are sitting in the back row of a movie theater. He's feeding her popcorn. She is absorbed in the movie, but he can't concentrate. Veronica is wearing green cargo pants and a soft blue cut-off t-shirt. The sliver of exposed skin is enticing him. Logan pulls the arm of the chair upright so that there is nothing separating them. He feeds her another piece of popcorn, then lets his hand drop down from her lips to her stomach. He runs his buttery fingers across her flat stomach, back and forth. _

_Logan watches her carefully. Veronica's breathing begins to quicken at his touch. He slowly slides his hand below the waistband of her pants. She looks at him but doesn't move his hand away. She silently indicates the dozen or so people scattered throughout the theater with a wave of her hand. He leans in close and whispers, "So are you saying you want me to stop?" He bites down on her ear lobe and drags the skin gently between his teeth as he pulls away from her. "Nnnn…" she responds. _

_Veronica glances around at the other people in the theater, and at the exits. Logan knows that she's calculating their risk of getting caught. He casually leans closer to her again, and kisses a specific spot in the hollow of her throat. She closes her eyes and inhales_ _quickly. He knows that he's won. Logan deftly unbuttons her cargo pants and slides the zipper down silently. With his free hand, he turns her body towards his, pulling her in for a deep kiss…_

"What can I get you sir?"

A young man in a red and black uniform looked at him expectantly. Logan gave him a blank stare.

"Sir?" the young man repeated.

"Popcorn," he responded without thinking.

"This is a _Chili's_, sir," the employee reminded him patiently. "We don't serve popcorn here."

"Right. Uh, I'll just have a water."

The man gave him a strange look, clearly wondering why he'd waited on such a long line for a water when he could have gotten one from the vending machine. Logan paid him and walked over to a table in the corner. He slid down into a chair and uncapped his water, his mind still lingering on that day at the movies.

Veronica always acted like she had so much self-control, but Logan knew that inside, she was just as impulsive as he was. He absolutely loved pushing her boundaries to the limit, just to see how far he could get her to go. _She needs that, needs to be with someone who can bring out that side of her. And I need her to keep me from drifting out to sea._

He continued to watch Veronica and Piz. They were still smiling and talking easily to each other. Logan's expression darkened. _Well, what did I expect? They've been together for, what, seven months now?_ He ran his hand through his hair absently as he watched them. _Have I been reading her wrong this whole time? Are they more serious than I thought?_

Logan looked down at the table, no longer wanting to see the smiling couple. But after a moment, he glanced back up again, unable to stop himself. _I'm a glutton for fucking punishment._ Unfortunately, someone was standing across from him, blocking them from his view.

It was a tall, curvy blonde, and she was staring at him. She stood with her arms crossed, and she didn't look pleased. It took him a full minute to realize that it was Ashlee, the girl from his _World History_ class. But he didn't make any sign that he recognized her. Instead, he continued to sip his water silently. When he failed to acknowledge her presence, she rolled her eyes and sat down at his table, directly across from him.

"I'm late," she told him.

"Then you'd better hurry up and get to class," he returned.

"That's not what I meant," she said, exasperated.

"I know what you meant."

She looked at him expectantly. "_And_?"

Logan calmly took a sip of his water, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked back at Ashlee, his eyes hard. "And this is about the _twelfth_ time someone has tried this one on me. We had sex _once_, we used a condom and I didn't even finish. So, nice try. If this miracle baby actually _appears_ one day, you can talk to my lawyer."

Ashlee stared at him, eyes opened wide. Logan knew by her expression that his response wasn't what she'd expected, and that she wasn't sure how to proceed. He also knew that he was right. He continued to watch her warily, waiting to see what she'd do next. Finally, she rolled her eyes at him and stood up in a huff. She pushed her chair in so roughly that it fell down with a loud metallic clatter.

She pointed her finger at him, waving it in his face. "You are, by far, the biggest _asshole_ I've ever met!" she shouted. She snatched her purse up off of the table and stormed away.

"So when do I get my _plaque_?" Logan called after her, his words clipped. He stood up, raising his voice so that she could still hear him as she hurried away. "It's Logan with _one_ 'L', if you were wondering!"

People were staring at him now. Logan didn't look up to see if Veronica and Piz were among them. Instead, he grabbed his water and his backpack, and walked away quickly. He was in a bad mood. Between seeing Veronica with Piz, and that little scene with Ashlee, he felt restless and unsettled.

_I need something to distract me. If I go back to the hotel, I'll just end up getting wasted and I'll probably pick a fight with Dick._ In an instant, he knew what to do. He started walking towards Benes Hall.

**xxXxx**

"Hey! Come on in," Mac greeted him. She held the door open and he stepped inside almost hesitantly. He knew that Veronica wouldn't be there yet; it was just kind of weird being back in this room. Logan glanced around the room, noting the changes. He could see that Mac's side of the room looked pretty similar, with the addition of a lopsided bookcase in the corner. But the other side of the room, Parker's old side, was very different. Everything had been pink, back when it had been Parker's room. Logan hated pink.

Now it was mostly blues and greens. From his place by the door, he could see lots of photographs stuck to Veronica's mirror, as well as framed photos on the shelf above her desk. _I wonder if I'm in any of those pictures?_ There was a big poster of The Dude from _The Big Lebowski_ on one wall that made him smile. Her comforter was blue and brown, and it looked really soft. Logan had a strong urge to lie down on her bed. The smell of Veronica's perfume lingered in the air.

He sat down on the couch on Mac's side of the room and looked at her. He noticed that there were several outfits laid out on her bed, and she was continuing to pull things out of her closet. "You going on a trip or something?" he asked.

Mac threw a black dress on the bed and turned to him. "No. I'm…" She put both hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "This is too embarrassing for words."

"What?" he asked, laughing.

She flopped down on the bed, paying no mind to the fact that she was sitting on top of the dress she'd just laid out. "I have a date with Casey on Friday night, and he's taking me to a restaurant that I've never been to. I don't know how fancy it is, or what would be appropriate, and I don't want to _ask_ him, because- well I don't know why, but I don't. I went online, but all I could see was it looks really nice and people say the food is good."

Logan looked at her, amused by how agitated she was about a date that was still two days away. "What restaurant is it?" he asked.

"Some French place. _La Belle Fleur_?"

Logan smiled and leaned back on the couch, crossing his legs at the ankles.

Mac looked at him suspiciously. "Why do you have that look on your face?"

"No reason," Logan said innocently. He shrugged. "I took Veronica there once. It was a fun night."

Mac rolled her eyes. "I bet."

"What?" he laughed. "All I'll say is that Casey would be thrilled if his night ended up even _half _as good as mine did. Something about French food… does the trick every time."

"You're just- I have no words," Mac said, shaking her head at him. "So can you help me pick something out, then?"

"Um… you do realize that I'm a _guy _right? Wouldn't Veronica be a more suitable choice for this task?"

"Come on, I need the 09er perspective."

"Fine," he sighed. He sat patiently while she showed him five or six different outfits. When she was done, he pointed decisively at the black dress.

"Why?" Mac asked. "I kind of like the blue one."

"So wear the blue one."

"But why did you pick the black one?" she pressed.

He shrugged. "It's simple, elegant. Classic. You won't look like you're trying too hard."

"Huh," she said, sounding impressed. "Okay, I'll go with the black. Now, shoes."

"No. I draw the line at shoes."

She laughed.

"So you're still hanging out with Casey?" he asked.

"Yup. This will be our fourth 'official' date."

"And has he done anything that might require my fists?"

"Nope. He's been a perfect gentleman." Mac walked over to her closet, hanging the blue dress back up. "A little _too_ much of a gentleman," she muttered.

Logan smiled. He got it, but he didn't want to talk about Mac's sex life. _It's too weird._ "So Dick bought the new _Call of Duty_. He told me to let you know. He wants you to come by this weekend so he can, and I quote, 'teach you to respect Lieutenant Dick'."

Mac grinned. "Any more of _that_ and he's gonna be Lieutenant 'Formerly Had a' Dick," she said good-naturedly. "And you can pass that along."

"Oh, I will," Logan laughed. He had noticed a big difference between Mac and Dick since the party. They were openly friendly with each other now. Mac had even come over the last couple of Sundays to hang out with them and play video games. She and Dick kept up a constant stream of taunts as they played. Logan suspected Dick had bought _Call of Duty_ just for her.

Mac held a pair of stockings up to the lamp and noticed that she had a run. "Frak!" She glanced at Logan. "Sorry. A little residual from my Max days."

"So you and Max are-"

"Officially dunzo. We're trying to be friends, but- well, you know how hard that can be."

"Yeah," Logan said quietly. He drummed his fingers on the arm of the couch a few times. "So, let me ask you something. What are, uh… What are Veronica and Piz like together? As a couple, I mean."

Mac tossed the stockings into the garbage and turned slowly to face him. "Logan, you know I don't like being in this position. I'm friends with both of you. _And_ with Piz."

"I know. And you know I rarely even _mention_ her around you. But I think you know by now how I feel about her. I need to know if I still have a shot here, or if I'm just fooling myself." He looked down. "I saw them together, earlier, and I was just- a little surprised. The way they were… they seem really close."

Mac took a deep breath before she replied. "Well they're a couple. And they're friends, too. They _are_ close."

"And he- treats her well?"

"Yeah," Mac said. "He does. I know you don't like him, but he really is a good guy." She didn't say anything for a minute. Logan was still looking down, but he could tell by the position of her sneakers that she was watching him. "That being said," she continued, "don't give up. I mean… I don't think you should give up on her."

Logan looked up, surprised. "Why? Did she say something to you?"

"Your name has been known to come up, on occasion," she replied with a furtive smile. "But that's not why I'm saying this. It's something else." Mac sat down on the edge of her bed, looking thoughtful. "I was never really around you guys too much when you were together. But being around you two now, there's just something… it's so hard to explain. I can just see that you two _work_. When you talk to each other, it's like the rest of the world-"

"Disappears," he said quietly.

"Yeah. Like the two of you are in your own little bubble, and no one else exists. It's kind of intense, but it's kind of cool too. There's this energy between you guys; it's almost like the air around you is charged…" Mac trailed off, seeming uncertain how to describe what she meant in words. "And I just don't get the same vibe from her and Piz." When she continued, her voice was a bit hesitant. "But I think you scare the shit out of her."

"I _scare_ her?"

"Yes," Mac said firmly. "With Piz, what you see is what you get. With you…"

"Yeah?" he prompted, a bit defensive.

"Well, you're not the easiest person in the world to figure out. Or the most predictable," she said wryly.

"Well, neither is she," Logan countered.

"Oh, I know. I live with her. But Logan, you two really need to-" Mac cut off when she heard the door knob turn.

Logan heard it too, and looked up to see Veronica and Piz walking into the room. _Shit. I shouldn't have stayed here so long._ Veronica looked at him with surprise, but smiled. "Hi," she said.

"Hi." He glanced at Piz as briefly as possible. "Hey, man."

"Hey," Piz returned, just as briefly. He and Veronica stood by the door, both seeming unsure whether they should venture farther inside.

"God _damn_ it!" Mac exclaimed, effectively breaking the tension. She was holding up a second pair of stockings. She tossed them into the garbage and closed her eyes. "I'm going to my happy place. I'm going to my happy place."

Logan turned to Veronica. "I can see your influence at work here." He looked at Piz. "She made me watch _Happy Gilmore_ about fifteen times."

Piz smiled and nodded, but didn't say anything.

Veronica shrugged. "What can I say, Adam Sandler does it for me."

_I know some other things that do it for you, too…_ Logan suddenly remembered what was playing that day at the movies. _It was _The Wedding Singer_._ He glanced at Veronica, and noticed that she was blushing faintly. _And she's thinking about it, too._ He grinned at her; he couldn't help himself. _Okay, I better get out of here before me and Piz get into round two. _

Logan stood up. "I better get going."

Piz finally left his place by the door and sat down on Veronica's bed. "See you later, man."

Logan nodded at him. Veronica looked from Piz to Logan. She continued to stand next to the door, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She looked like she wanted to say something.

Mac looked up from her dresser. "Okay. Thanks for your advice, before."

"And thanks for yours," Logan said pointedly.

Mac shared a conspiratorial smile with him. "So, maybe I'll swing by on Saturday afternoon to check out the new game," she suggested.

"Uh, Saturday's no good. I have plans. How's Sunday?"

"Yeah, okay."

Logan walked over to the door, and Veronica opened it for him. "Hey, uh, is everything okay?" she asked him quietly.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I was in the food court earlier, and I saw you arguing with someone…"

He laughed. He'd forgotten all about Ashlee already. "It was nothing. Really. I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Okay. See you." Veronica didn't look convinced. But she gave him a small smile and closed the door behind him.

**xxXxx**

_Bobby,_

_Wow! Congrats, man, that's awesome. Can't believe you're getting married. I feel old. _

_Me and Blondie did date for awhile, but we broke up. Then got back together. Then broke up again. The last one was my fault. I did something stupid and lied about it. What else is new, right? Then I accidentally beat up her new boyfriend. Oh who am I kidding, I kind of enjoyed that._

_We're friends now. But the truth is, I still love her. And I'm trying like hell to get her back. So it's been an interesting few months. She's just so damn stubborn. (I know I don't have to tell you that.) Anyway, don't say anything to her. And wish me luck…_

_Maybe it's crazy, but I'm happy to hear that Lo is just like her aunt. It's nice to think about part of her living on._

_Talk to you soon,_

_Lee_

**xxXxx**

The following day, Logan was surprised to walk into class almost fifteen minutes early, only to find that Veronica was already there. He was on the phone with Heather, finalizing plans for the weekend. She had talked her sister Melinda into making the trip to Neptune for Logan's birthday. Since she was far too young to go to his party out at the bar, he'd invited her to come hang out in the afternoon. Melinda and Dick were supposed to try and work things out while he and Heather went to lunch. Logan didn't have particularly high hopes for that couple.

"So are you excited about your party?" Heather asked him.

Logan headed over to his seat. "Yeah, I guess. It's not, like, cake and balloons you know. It's at a bar."

"Of course it is," she sighed, managing to sound both resigned and exasperated. Logan swore she was actually a forty year old woman trapped in the body of a twelve year old. "So is Veronica going to be there?"

Logan sat down and gave Veronica a little wave. She smiled at him. He knew she couldn't help but listen to his conversation- there was no one else in the room. "Uh, yeah."

"She's there, isn't she?" Heather asked.

"Okay, how the hell do you know that?" he asked, genuinely surprised.

"Your voice always changes when she's around."

Logan couldn't help smiling. _This kid never fails to amaze me_. "Alright, smartypants. You're very clever. So when are you supposed to get here?"

"Around noon I think. Where are we meeting?" she asked.

"My place," he replied, suddenly very aware of how the conversation must sound. "Look, Heather, I gotta go. I have class."

"Oh, I know. English class with Ve_ron_ica, Tuesdays and Thursdays," she said, giggling. _And now she's back to being twelve. _"Okay then, go tell her how you feel about her already, you big wimp."

"I'm hanging up now. I'll see you Saturday."

"Kay, bye!"

Logan hit a button on his phone and tossed it into his backpack. He turned to Veronica, curious to see if she'd give him the little tight-lipped smile that told him that she was jealous.

Instead, she looked him up and down. "Interesting fashion statement."

Logan looked down at his outfit self-consciously. "What's wrong with it?" he asked. "The girl at the store told me it was 'the look'."

"If you're a serial killer, maybe," Veronica agreed.

"Huh?"

"A brown Henley and green cargo pants? Should I check your backpack for some heavy duty plastic and your knife kit, Dexter?" she teased him.

Logan smiled. "You got me. I'm on my way to prepare the kill room right now."

Veronica laughed, but stopped abruptly and grabbed her neck. "Ow."

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Oh, I was helping my dad lift the couch and I screwed up my neck," she explained. "Right after I swore up and down to him and Wallace that I was stronger than both of them put together."

"You all right? Dick probably has a muscle relaxer or something if that would help. Or," he continued with a smirk, "I could ask my masseuse to take care of you. She has _excellent_ hands."

"Thanks, think I'll pass," Veronica said dryly. "It kind of works out well for me, actually. No more heavy lifting for _this_ girl."

"So are you all done moving in?"

"Pretty much. We technically have the place until the end of the month, but almost everything is out of there." Veronica looked wistful for a moment. "It's a little sad. I had some good memories there." She glanced at Logan and cleared her throat. "But, uh, the new place is kind of awesome."

Logan was about to ask if they needed any help when Professor Jayne started her lecture. They were still discussing Byron, and he leafed through the anthology as she spoke. A poem called _Remind me not, remind me not*_ caught his eye, and he read it quickly. _Jesus, it's like it was written about us. Or is it just that everything in the world makes me think about her_? Logan forced his attention back to the lecture.

When class was over, he wasn't ready to say goodbye to Veronica yet. After they'd both packed up their books, Logan turned to her. "Hey, do you feel like grabbing a bite to eat or something?" he asked.

"I can't," she said. "I have to head over to the Registrar's office for a case."

"Are you still working on that thing for Tina's brother?"

They walked together towards the door and paused in the hallway outside of the classroom, as they did after almost every class.

"No, didn't I tell you?" Veronica smiled proudly. "I got the girl on tape, bragging to her roommate. After a little discussion, she agreed that it was in her best interest to never pull a stunt like that again."

"Well done."

"Why, thank you."

"So what's this new case then? Or can you not tell me."

"Well _technically_ I'm not supposed to talk about my clients, but since he's not paying me…" Veronica gave him a rather sly smile. "It's for Ratner. The guy who works at the Grand."

"I thought you hated that guy."

"Oh, I do," Veronica assured him. "But there's something in it for me too."

"Well, do you want some company?" he asked.

"Uh…" Veronica twirled a strand of hair around her finger, hesitating for a few seconds. "Sure."

**xxXxx**

As soon as they walked into the office, Logan realized he might have a problem. The redhead who he'd flirted with to get Veronica's course schedule was there. And she recognized him right away.

"Hey, _Logan_," she greeted him, looking him up and down.

He glanced quickly at the nameplate on her desk. "Uh, hey Vikki."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "You never called me," she reprimanded him lightly, giving him a little pout.

Logan looked over at Veronica, who was biting her lower lip. "Yeah, sorry," he said. "It's been a crazy semester so far." He flashed her his most charming smile. "But I didn't forget about you. I was definitely planning on giving you a call."

She smiled back at him, running the tip of her pen across her lips in what he guessed was supposed to be a seductive move.

"So, um, I was hoping you might be able to do a favor for my friend and I," Logan continued.

Veronica smiled brightly, right on cue. "Hi, I'm Veronica," she introduced herself. "So there's this girl, Diana, and she's-"

But Vikki didn't seem to be listening. She was looking at Logan with a strange expression on her face. "Wait a minute… Veronica?" she asked. "Isn't that-"

Logan cut her off quickly. "I'm sorry, Vikki, we're in a _really_ big hurry."

Vikki blinked, shaking off whatever she'd been about to say, and Logan exhaled slowly. Veronica was now the one giving him a strange look. But when he didn't offer an explanation, she decided to try again with Vikki. Veronica gave her the name of a girl, and made up a story about how she was being Single White Femaled in order to get the girl's course schedule. Vikki came through for them, and after promising once again to call her, Logan and Veronica hurriedly left the office.

They'd only walked a couple of feet away when Veronica turned to him, curiosity clear on her face. "So, um, what was _that_ all about?"

Logan smirked at her. "Just be happy for my connections, Mars. That Valley Girl routine of yours doesn't work on everyone, you know."

She shook her head and gave him that little tight-lipped smile. _Ah, there it is. Thank you, Vikki._

**xxXxx**

"Where to now?" asked Logan.

Heather rolled her eyes at him. "Um, as if I need to tell you?"

"Amy's it is," he said, steering his Range Rover left onto Ocean Avenue. "You know, you're turning into a pretty expensive date. Shouldn't you be taking _me_ out, being that it's my birthday and all?"

"Oh, please," she scoffed. "You're like a billionaire. Me being here is present enough."

"I'm feeling like I got short-changed here," he retorted. He was teasing her, and he knew that she knew it. Truthfully, her coming down to visit him had been one of the sweetest things someone had done for him in a long time. It meant a lot to him.

Logan pulled his car into a free spot at the municipal parking lot and turned off the engine. They got out of the car and headed down the street towards Amy's. He glanced down at Heather to see that she was looking at him carefully. "What?" he asked.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "You look kind of sad."

Logan had been attempting to be cheerful all day, but the truth was that he _was _feeling a little bit down. He wasn't surprised that Heather had noticed; the girl was surprisingly perceptive. _Birthdays and holidays have pretty much sucked since Mom died._ Logan normally didn't even bother celebrating them. The party had been Dick's idea.

Instead of pretending that everything was fine, Logan shrugged. "It's kind of weird celebrating your birthday when both of your parents are gone," he admitted.

They had arrived at Amy's, and Heather took his arm to stop him from entering. "I sort of know what you mean. I know it's not the same thing, but…My last birthday was kind of a bummer, without my dad being there." She smiled up at him. "But you have good friends, and that's pretty cool too, right?"

He smiled back at her. "Right."

Heather surprised him by hugging him tightly around the waist. Logan put one arm around her shoulders and mussed up her hair affectionately with his other hand. She pulled away from him and smoothed her hair out. "Quit it, old man. You're messing up my 'do."

They walked into the store. "And was there someone here who you were trying to impress?" Logan joked. He waved his hand towards the front of the store, indicating the teenaged boy who worked there. Heather blushed every time the kid spoke to her, and he loved giving her a hard time about it. But Logan suddenly saw something that made his smile fade.

Heather's phone started to ring, distracting him. She dug her phone out of her pocket and looked down. "It's my sister," she sighed. "I better talk to her real quick. Get me Rocky Road, okay? Two scoops." She walked back out of the store to answer her phone.

Logan made no move to order the ice cream. Instead, he looked back towards the front of the store. Charlie Stone was standing at the counter. _My brother._ Logan recognized him from the many pictures he'd seen in tabloids, following his Larry King interview. The paparazzi had stalked Charlie mercilessly for several months after Logan had revealed his true identity. Apparently, the harassment had gotten so bad that he'd left his job at Calvert Academy. Logan had no idea where he worked now, or where he lived.

There was a pretty brunette standing next to him. They were looking through the glass case at their options; the young woman pointed to two or three different flavors. Charlie laughed and kissed the top of her head. "Your wish is my command," he said indulgently. She walked over to the glass case on the right hand side of the register, and apparently saw something else that she liked. When she turned back to tell Charlie what it was, Logan was shocked to discover that she was pregnant.

_I'm going to be an uncle…_ The rush of elation he felt at that thought was quickly replaced by grim resignation. _Who am I kidding?_ _I'll never even get to _meet_ my niece or nephew. Charlie has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me._

Heather walked back in then, only to find him in the same spot she'd left him in. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Can't make a decision?"

"Uh, no," he said vaguely, continuing to watch the couple. The woman kissed Charlie on the cheek, and then turned and walked directly passed Logan. As she sat down at an open table, he caught a glimpse of a diamond ring on her finger. _So I guess she's his wife… I wonder when he got married?_

"Do I have to do _everything_?" Heather asked with a sigh. She walked up to the counter, waiting briefly for Charlie to finish placing his order. Logan followed her, but hung back a couple of steps. "I'd like two scoops of Rocky Road, and two scoops of Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Both in a cup," she said decisively. "And please put some whipped cream and chocolate syrup on that second one." She grinned and gestured to Logan. "It's for his birthday."

For some reason, Charlie, who was standing next to Heather, turned to see who she was pointing to. Logan saw the flash of recognition in his eyes when his brother caught sight of him. They stared at one another for a few seconds before Charlie looked away. He glanced at Heather and then back to Logan, seeming curious as to what their relationship was. But he remained silent.

"Happy Birthday," the teenaged employee said perfunctorily. Logan nodded. "So is this for here or to go?"

"For here," Heather said.

"To go," Logan spoke up.

Heather turned to him. "I thought we were going to eat here? You know, a safe distance away from my crazy sister and your even _crazier_ friend?" she reminded him patiently.

"I changed my mind," Logan said quietly. Charlie was no longer looking at them, but Logan could tell by the tilt of his head that he was still listening to their conversation.

Heather rolled her eyes at him. "I swear, you're even moodier than _I_ am. And I'm a teenage girl."

"Not yet," he reminded her. "You're still twelve."

She sighed dramatically. "For like, three more months. Stop throwing that in my face."

"You shouldn't be in such a hurry to get older," Logan told her. "Growing up pretty much sucks."

He saw Charlie glance up at him when he said that. Logan looked back at him, keeping his expression carefully blank. He didn't want him to see how much it bothered him that his brother wouldn't even acknowledge his presence. But he was a bit surprised to note that Charlie looked troubled; his brow was furrowed, and he kept opening and closing his mouth, as though he wanted to say something.

"Here you go, sir."

Charlie looked away from Logan and walked over to the counter to pick up his order. As he silently passed by Logan on his way to the table, he glanced up at him one last time. Logan forced himself to keep his expression calm; but in reality, his head was spinning. _We're exactly the same height. And we both have Dad's nose…_

Heather smacked him lightly on the arm, snapping him out of it. "Hey. Stop being so mopey today, Eeyore."

"Eeyore?" Logan scoffed. "Please. I'm clearly Tigger."

"Then who am I?" she asked.

He couldn't help grinning at her. No matter what was going on, Heather always seemed to be able to put him in a better mood. "Anyone who likes sweets as much as you do has to be Pooh."

"You guys are all set," the kid behind the counter said.

Relieved, Logan took the bag quickly and handed him a fifty. "Thanks. Keep the change."

"Wow! Thanks, man," the kid said.

Logan gave him a brief smile and ushered Heather out the door. He didn't look back.

**xxXxx**

Heather and Logan entered the suite, both stopping short when they reached the living room. Melinda was standing on the couch, throwing pillows at Dick. He stood with his head down and arms up, to shield his body from the barrage.

"Why do you have to be so _mean_ about it?" Melinda was yelling.

"What?" Dick asked. "You wanted me to be honest, and I was honest. They still freak me out!"

Logan and Heather glanced at each other; Heather was giggling.

Melinda looked up at them, momentarily halting her attack. She shot an angry look in Dick's direction, then jumped off of the couch and walked towards her sister.

"We're leaving," she announced, grabbing Heather's hand.

Heather pulled her hand away. "No, we're not," she said calmly. "It's Logan's birthday, and I'm hanging out with him today."

Melinda rolled her eyes. "Fine," she sighed heavily. "I'm going shopping. Be ready to go in two hours."

"You're leaving?" Dick asked, sounding slightly disappointed.

Melinda's only response was to glare at him, before grabbing her jacket and purse off of the couch and marching out of the room.

Logan turned to Dick, smiling, "Trouble in paradise, Richard Darling?"

"Dude, enough of that."

"Enough of what, Richard Darling?" Heather mimicked Logan.

"You told her too? Fantastic," Dick said grumpily.

"Blame your mom," Logan laughed, flopping down on the couch. He grabbed a controller and handed it to Heather, who took her place next to him.

"I blame that lunatic real estate chick. Some people need to learn how to chill the fu-" he glanced at Heather. "-the hell out." Dick sank down onto the couch to watch them play.

Dick's new nickname, Richard Darling, had come from a message that his mother had left the day after their party. The young realtor had been stunned to walk in that Sunday, only to find Dick and Logan sleeping soundly on the couches, Combos and beer cans littering the living room floor and the bong sitting in plain sight on the coffee table.

The kegs were still on the patio, and empty cups and various other party debris were scattered liberally around the yard. To make things worse, when Logan and Dick had woken up and seen the situation before them, they had burst out laughing. The look of outrage on her face, coupled with the look of confusion on the clients face, had just made them laugh harder.

The realtor's face had gotten redder and redder, until she'd finally started screaming and threatened to call the cops on them. Dick had composed himself enough to explain that his mother owned the house and they'd get everything cleaned up. But his mother hadn't been pleased when she'd gotten the call from the realtor, and she'd left a message detailing her feelings.

_"Richard, darling, it really is time for you to grow up now… Richard, darling, this behavior is just not acceptable in a young man of your age…Richard, darling, I'm not so sure that Logan is a good influence on you."_ Dick had made the mistake of playing the message for Logan, and he'd been Richard Darling ever since.

After beating Logan at _Mario Kart_ four times in a row, Heather turned to Dick with a thoughtful expression on her face. "So you know Veronica, right? What's she like?"

"Cute. Blonde. Weird," Dick replied.

"So she's just like you, then?" Heather teased him.

"Um, no, she's _nothing_ like him," Logan corrected her.

"Ronnie's vicious. Scary. She once ran over my brand new surfboard with her car."

Logan chuckled. _That's my girl._

"She carried a switchblade in high school," Dick continued. "And she was all buddy-buddy with the head of a motorcycle gang. She got arrested a bunch of times, too."

"Didn't we all?" Logan reminded him dryly.

"Yeah, but she always got out of it. And she always got _you_ out of it, too." Dick turned to Heather. "See, Veronica does this, like, Jedi mind trick on guys, and gets them to do whatever she wants." He placed his palm on his chest. "Luckily, I remain immune." He looked pointedly at Logan. "I wish I could say that was true for _other_ people in this room."

"Wow," Heather said, impressed. "She sounds awesome." She turned to Logan. "So is that why you're too afraid to-"

Logan stood up quickly. "Who wants popcorn?" he interrupted her. "I've been craving it all week."

**xxXxx**

Logan sat at the bar later that evening, trying to sip his scotch slowly. He was well aware that he'd already had a couple too many, and that the night was still very young. _But __fuck it. It was a tough day. _He finished his drink in one last gulp and ordered another one. Between wondering all day if Veronica was going to show up with Piz tonight, and unexpectedly running into his brother, his nerves were a little bit shot.

The bartender handed him another drink, and he stirred it and glanced at the door again. Just then, Mac came walking into the bar with Casey. Veronica followed closely behind them. Tempted as he was to catch her eye, he continued to watch the door for another minute. But there was no sign of Piz. He smiled to himself and took a sip of his drink.

The girls spotted him right away. Veronica waved at him, then set her coat down at one of the tables Dick had commandeered for their large party. She started walking over to him, but got interrupted by Wallace. Mac set a present down on the table and said something to Casey, then headed towards Logan.

"Hey, Happy Birthday," Mac greeted him with a big smile. She gave him a quick hug and sat down next to him.

"Thanks."

"Sorry we're late, we were waiting for Veronica," Mac explained. "Weevil was helping her dad move some of the bigger stuff, so Veronica was covering for him at the office."

"Wait a minute, what?" Logan asked. "Since when does _Weevil_ work for Veronica's dad?"

Mac looked confused. "You didn't know that? He's been there for months."

Logan frowned. _Why does everyone else have more access to her than I do? Wallace is going to be her step-brother, Mac is her roommate, and now even _Weevil_ gets to see her on a regular basis… Meanwhile, if it wasn't for the Lit class, I wouldn't get to see her at all. How is that fair?_

He tried to shake it off. "So is Piz gonna show up later, or what?"

Mac grinned at him. "Do you know that there's a vein in your neck that pops out every time you say his name? Much like the Hulk."

Logan made a face at her and she laughed.

"No, he's not coming. He's over at his friend's house for band practice," she told him.

Logan nodded. _Good._

Veronica walked over to him then, holding out a card. "Hi. Happy Birthday," she said, smiling. She hesitated briefly, then kissed Logan quickly on the cheek.

"Thanks," he said, accepting the card with more than a little curiosity.

Veronica turned to Mac. "Casey was looking for you. I told him how much you enjoyed your crème brûlée last night, and he mentioned something about jetting off to Paris for dessert when we were done here," she teased her friend.

Mac turned pink. "Stop. Just stop," she muttered. She walked back over to the table.

Veronica took Mac's empty seat, grinning at Logan. "That boy is _smitten_. Did I mention that we arrived in style tonight? Two words: Aston. Martin. I'm like a Bond girl now."

"I thought you didn't care about the trappings of wealth and privilege?" he said with an eyebrow raised.

"Well, no, normally I don't. But that is one _damn_ fine piece of machinery," she admitted. She waved the bartender over. "Hi, can we please have two Kamikaze shots?"

"You know, I _thought_ I saw a trend. Duncan, Troy, me… It couldn't all be a coincidence. You became accustomed to a certain lifestyle, didn't you?" he teased.

The bartender poured them each a drink and Veronica made a face at him. "Oh shut up and do your shot," she said.

Logan laughed and they clinked glasses, both downing their shots.

"Happy Birthday," she said again. "So, before you open your card, let me just say that you have _no idea_ how hard it is to figure out what kind of present to get for a millionaire."

"I told you not to get me anything," he reminded her.

She rolled her eyes and gestured to the card. "And I ignored you. Open it."

Logan ripped open the envelope and pulled out his card, which was goofy and made him chuckle. There were three slips of blue paper taped to the inside. He lifted one up and read it to himself. _"Help ticket. No questions asked. Redeemable by Logan Echolls. No expiration date."_ He glanced up at Veronica with a smile, genuinely touched.

"Sorry, I know it's cheesy. I was trying to get you something that you couldn't get for yourself. And yes, you've managed to stay out of trouble lately. But knowing you, it's only a matter of time before-"

"Thank you," Logan said sincerely, interrupting her. He reached over and gave her a hug, squeezing her tightly.

When he let go, Veronica looked flushed, but pleased. She cleared her throat. "So once again, I'm a little astonished by how many people are here celebrating your birthday."

"Well, I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal," Logan replied, making his voice very deep.

"Really?" asked Veronica, playing along.

"People know me."

"Well, I'm very happy for you."

"I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

They both laughed. "Now tell me truthfully," Veronica asked, "did you start drinking scotch just so you could be more like Ron Burgundy?"

"I love scotch. Scotchy, scotchy, scotch," he answered.

"And do you secretly play jazz flute on the side?" she questioned.

"It's funny you should ask," Logan replied. "I actually brought my flute with me tonight, just in case I felt the need for a little solo, later. Do you think the fine people of this establishment would enjoy that?"

"I know _I_ would," Veronica said. She leaned closer to him, her voice earnest but her eyes sparkling with mischief. "And listen, I don't want you to get your hopes up or anything, but if you'd let me record the video of you playing on my phone… Well, let's just say I know a certain website that just _may_ be willing to host your little flute solo for free."

"Are you saying I could actually become famous on my _own_ merit?" he asked, feigning astonishment.

"I feel confident that you'd have at least a million hits by the end of the night," Veronica confirmed. "Regardless of your level of talent."

"Probably _despite_ my level of talent," Logan corrected. "Because I've never actually played the flute in my life."

"I suspect that would make your video even more popular."

They both burst out laughing, then. They were still laughing when Mac walked back over, but they managed to quiet down as she looked at them curiously. "I see I've lost my spot," she noted, nodding to the bar stool Veronica now sat on.

"I'm sure if you ask nicely, Casey will have something brought here for your comfort," Veronica said. "Perhaps a nice rocking chair, or a recliner?"

"Hey, you should talk," Mac countered. "You started the whole 'dating a millionaire' trend."

"Exactly what I was just saying to her," Logan told Mac. "She's been trying to infiltrate the upper class for years."

Veronica rolled her eyes, taking off her hoody and hanging it on the back of the bar stool.

"See?" Logan asked Mac, pointing to Veronica's t-shirt. "She's come here as an evil spy, with the intention of destroying Smurf Village."

Mac burst out laughing, but Veronica looked confused. "Huh?"

"Your shirt," Logan said.

"Smurfette?" she asked.

Mac took pity on her. "You know, _Donnie Darko_?"

"Ah." Veronica looked at Logan. "So why are you wearing that stupid man suit?"

Logan smiled. "There she is. So what would you ladies like? I'm getting us a shot."

"Oh, no," Veronica said. "You're the birthday boy, _we_ buy you the shots tonight."

"Um, Veronica? Do you remember that thing we were just talking about, how Logan's a millionaire? And me and you are just a couple of lowly college students?" Mac reminded her.

"Please," Veronica scoffed. "The way those websites of yours have taken off, you'll be a millionaire by this time next year."

"I believe you mean those websites of _ours_," Logan corrected her, giving Mac a high five. "Now. All of this talking has made me thirsty."

He ordered the three of them another round of shots, flatly refusing to let Veronica pay. When they were done, Veronica stood up, looking over at one of the tables. "I think that's that girl Vanessa that Wallace has been hanging out with. I've been _dying_ to meet her. Pardon me while I go snoop." She hopped off of the bar stool and walked over to Wallace.

As soon as she'd left, Logan turned to Mac. "Hey, can you do me a weird favor and not tell anyone about it?"

"Anyone being a petite blonde?" Mac asked with a smile, reclaiming her seat.

"Or her future step-brother. Or anyone she's ever met who may at some point in their lives be persuaded to tell her."

"Is it illegal?" she asked.

Logan gave her a withering look.

"What? It's _you_. I have to ask."

"No. Just-" Logan paused to get the bartender's attention. "Hey, man, can I borrow a pen?"

Logan grabbed a napkin off of the bar. The bartender handed him a pen, glancing at Mac with a knowing look. Mac rolled her eyes at him. Logan jotted something down on the napkin and handed it to her. "When Veronica goes into the bathroom, play this song on the jukebox. Okay?"

Mac looked down at the napkin, then back up at Logan. She bit her lip. "Okay."

"Macedonia!"

They both looked up to see Dick, grinning at them. Off Mac's look he said, "What? It's a real place."

"Yeah, but you don't pronounce it-" Mac stopped and shook her head. "You know what, never mind."

"I've learned it's easier to just go with it," Logan suggested. "And much funnier."

"So what are you kids up to?" Dick asked. "Whoa, you got digits already Mac?" Before she could stop him, he grabbed the napkin out of her hand. He read it, looking confused. "What is this supposed to mean? Is this code or something?"

"No," Logan said, resigned. "It's a song I asked Mac to play. Something I thought Veronica might like."

"_This_ song? Really?" Dick asked.

"Really," Logan answered.

Dick glanced at Mac, then looked at Logan for a few seconds without saying anything. "Still?" he finally asked.

"Always," Logan said quietly. He looked at Dick. "And not a word."

"Okay, dude. But you're nuts." Dick handed the napkin back to Mac. "See?" he said to her. "I told you." He shook his head at Logan and headed back to the table.

"I feel like I'm in a Jane Austen novel," Mac told Logan, slipping the napkin into her jacket pocket.

"Don't worry, Emma, your secret is safe with me," he said dryly.

"Okay, I'm a little shocked you got that reference."

"So are my balls." Logan gulped down the rest of his scotch. "Ah, there they are." He stood up. "I suppose I should stop being so anti-social at my own party. C'mon."

Mac grabbed Veronica's sweatshirt and followed Logan over to one of the tables. They were greeted by Veronica, Wallace and Casey, as well as a variety of other people who Logan barely knew. The person who Veronica had been speaking with, an attractive girl with long, straight black hair, looked up at Logan as he approached. She gave him a wide smile. "Hi, Logan."

"Hey, Vanessa," he said.

Veronica looked from Logan to Vanessa. "You guys know each other?"

Vanessa smiled, keeping her eyes on Logan. "We're both sort of regulars here."

"Oh," Veronica said, brow furrowed. She glanced over at Wallace, who was chatting happily with Mac. He looked up from his conversation and walked over to them.

Wallace put one arm around Vanessa and nodded his head at Veronica. "So what's the verdict? Have you had time to go through the contents of her purse yet, make sure she's not a Russian spy?" he teased.

Veronica gave him a small smile. "Already ran her Social. It seems she really is who she claims to be." She kept her tone light, but Logan noticed that she continued to watch Vanessa carefully.

Vanessa giggled and gave Wallace a kiss on the cheek. "What on earth are you two talking about?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know," Wallace told her, kissing her back. They sat down at the table, and Logan and Veronica took the seats across from them. Mac and Casey joined them, followed shortly by Dick and Chip, and the several girls that they'd been talking to. They all fell into easy conversation, and spent the next half hour joking around and taking turns buying rounds of shots. When Veronica got up to use the bathroom, Mac wasted no time walking over to the jukebox to play the song Logan had requested.

It was a crowded night; by the time the song came on, Logan was back at the bar with Dick, waiting for the bartender to finish pouring a round of shots for their table. When he heard the opening notes, he looked over at the table to see Veronica's reaction. She was in mid-conversation with Mac when she stopped abruptly and looked at the jukebox. Seeing no one there, she glanced around the bar until her eyes met Logan's.

_I talk to you as to a friend  
I hope that's what you've come to be  
It feels as though we've made amends  
Like we found a way eventually_

_It was you who picked the pieces up  
When I was a broken soul  
And then glued me back together  
Returned to me what others stole_

Logan and Veronica stared at each other, their gaze only broken when someone walked between them. Veronica blinked and glanced away for a moment, trying to break the spell. But just like it was on the night of the dance two years ago, she couldn't seem to look away.

_I don't wanna hurt you  
I don't wanna make you sway  
Like I know I've done before  
I will not do it anymore_

_I've always been a dreamer  
I've had my head among the clouds  
Now that I'm coming down  
Won't you be my solid ground_

Logan had been questioning himself all week, wondering whether he'd been a fool to wait for her, wondering if she really did still love him. But when the song had begun, and her blue eyes had locked with his, he'd known in a heartbeat that she was still his. All of his worries melted away, and he returned her gaze with firm resolve. _She'll come back to me. And I'll wait for her. As much as it's killing me, I'll wait for her. I just have to remember to give her a push, from time to time._

The song ended and she continued to look at him, her expression changing from hopeful to confused. She finally looked away and turned back to Mac, saying a few words to her and then standing up. Logan wasn't surprised to see that she was making her way towards him.

"Dude, help me with these shots," Dick said.

"Leave them. I'll get them in a minute," Logan told him, his eyes never leaving Veronica.

She sat down hesitantly next to him, not speaking right away. He noticed for the first time that night that there were faint shadows under Veronica's eyes. She looked exhausted. _But she's still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. _

Impulsively, he reached out and touched the side of her face gently. She glanced at him questioningly, but didn't turn her head or try and move his hand away. Her skin was impossibly soft. _I just want to say the words. I miss you. I fucking _miss_ you. But I don't want to screw this up. _He let his hand drop down and forced a smile.

"Another birthday present from you?" he asked, nodding towards the jukebox. "Your way of telling me you still have fond memories?"

"No," she said, looking a bit alarmed. "I mean, I didn't play that. I- I thought you did?"

"I haven't touched the jukebox all night," he answered. _The truth, but not the whole truth. I know you like a good mystery._ Logan suddenly realized how much he loved the game they were playing. He couldn't help himself. _Even when we're apart, she still makes me feel more alive than anyone in the world. But we're at a bit of a stalemate. Maybe it's time for me to remind her that I'm a worthy opponent._ "I loved your present." He smiled at her. "My only concern is that I only have three."

"I'm really glad you liked it. I gave it a lot of thought," she told him.

"I loved it," he repeated. Logan knew that he was drunk, and he knew that he was about to be a bit reckless; he didn't care, at the moment. "But there's one more present I think you should give me."

"And what's that?" she asked, smiling up at him.

"A birthday kiss."

"Yeah, I bet," she laughed.

"I'm serious," he told her, not breaking eye contact. "I want a kiss for my birthday."

Veronica seemed determined not to take him seriously. She waved her arm in a sweeping motion. "Well take your pick, my friend."

Logan leaned in a bit closer to her, keeping his tone light, but confident. "Oh, but I want a kiss from _you_." He propped his elbow on the bar and rested his chin against his hand, continuing to watch her.

Veronica's smile finally faded and she bit her lip. "Logan… I have a boyfriend."

"I don't give a shit about Piz," he told her truthfully. He reached up and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, letting his fingers graze lightly against her neck as he moved his hand away.

She continued to stare at him, seemingly speechless for one of the few times in her life. She frowned suddenly and looked down, reaching into her pocket for her phone. Logan could see that the screen was lit up, but he couldn't see who was calling. Veronica looked confused, and a little concerned, when she saw the number. She glanced up at Logan. "I'm sorry, I have to take this."

Veronica put the phone to her ear. "Hello?" She listened intently, and Logan watched her expression go from curiosity to alarm in a matter of seconds. She stood up abruptly. "What? _What?_ But why did he- I told him not to do it, why would he… is he okay?" She listened for a long moment. "I'm glad you were there. Thank you, really. Can you stay with him until I get there? Okay, I'll see you soon."

She turned her phone off and looked at Logan. "I'm so sorry, I have to go."

Logan sighed. "Can you just, for once, not run away from me?"

"I'm not running away from you," she said, looking genuinely apologetic. "There's an emergency."

"What emergency?" he asked, still not completely believing her. He'd known, deep down, that she wasn't going to kiss him. He'd known that she wouldn't do that to Piz. But when she hadn't walked away, when she hadn't moved his hand from her face, when she hadn't yelled at him… he'd thought maybe. _Maybe. _

"Piz is in the hospital. And it's my fault." Logan was shocked to see that her eyes were filling with tears. "I'm really sorry that I have to leave. Okay?" Veronica didn't wait for a response from him. She gave him a quick, tight hug. "Happy Birthday," she whispered into his ear. And then she pulled away, and he was alone.

Logan stared after her. He watched her walk over to the table, grab her coat and her bag, and have a quick conversation with Mac and Wallace. He saw Casey walk over, joining them. A moment later, Casey grabbed his own coat and gave Mac a kiss on the cheek. As they walked towards the door, Logan saw Veronica's head start to turn back to where he was sitting; he quickly looked the other way.

He finished his drink and stood up. Before he could take a step, he felt a heavy hand clap down on his back.

"Where do you think you're going, buddy?" Dick asked, taking the empty bar stool next to him.

"I'm gonna take off," Logan replied.

"Don't be crazy, dude. It's _your _party." Dick's face suddenly got as serious as Logan had ever seen it. "Logan, don't let Ronnie get you down. Okay?"

Logan nodded, trying to brush off his disappointment.

Dick grinned at him. "Look at how many beautiful babies are here tonight. Do you really want to spend your birthday alone?"

_No. I really don't._ "Guess I'll stick around for a little longer," Logan decided, taking his seat again.

"That's the spirit!" Dick said happily. He slung an arm around Logan's shoulders and pointed towards a blonde girl standing next to the pool table. "That fine woman is Hillary. Hillary enjoys long walks on the beach, beer pong, and making the new pledges in her sorority suffer. You two are like soul mates."

"Not interested."

"Okay… One of Hillary's friends, perhaps?" Dick suggested.

"I'm fine, Dick."

Dick didn't look convinced. "I'm giving you a half hour on your own. If you can't find a chick by then, me and Hillary are coming over here."

Logan nodded. He ordered another scotch. The night continued on. Mac came over at one point to try and cheer him up. She'd seen everything, he knew, but she didn't say a word. Casey came back from dropping Veronica off at the hospital and bought the three of them a round of shots. Logan ordered another scotch.

He was staring into space when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see a brunette with long bangs in her eyes giving him a somewhat awkward smile.

"Hey," she said. "I'm Debi. Um, Ashlee wanted me to tell you that she feels bad. She wants to buy you a drink."

Logan glanced around the bar until he spotted the blonde girl, watching him carefully. _Fantastic. This is exactly what I needed tonight._

The girl next to him, Debi, leaned her back against the bar, waiting for a response. He looked at her more carefully. She was decent enough looking, and she had a kind smile. "And you're a friend of hers?" he asked.

Debi shrugged. "Not really," she admitted. "She lives down the hall from me. She's more like an acquaintance."

Logan flashed her a smile. "How about I buy _you_ a drink, instead."

Debi smiled back at him.

**A/N * This is the poem that Logan read in class, if anyone is interested. (The one that reminded him of Veronica.) I decided to leave it out of the story proper to keep the flow going, but I didn't want to leave things on quite such a sour note ;)**

_Remind me not, remind me not,  
Of those beloved, those vanish'd hours,  
When all my soul was given to thee;  
Hours that may never be forgot,  
Till Time unnerves our vital powers,  
And thou and I shall cease to be. _

_Can I forget-canst thou forget, _  
_When playing with thy golden hair, _  
_How quick thy fluttering heart did move? _  
_Oh! by my soul, I see thee yet, _  
_With eyes so languid, breast so fair, _  
_And lips, though silent, breathing love._

_When thus reclining on my breast, _  
_Those eyes threw back a glance so sweet, _  
_As half reproach'd yet rais'd desire, _  
_And still we near and nearer prest, _  
_And still our glowing lips would meet, _  
_As if in kisses to expire._

_And then those pensive eyes would close, _  
_And bid their lids each other seek, _  
_Veiling the azure orbs below; _  
_While their long lashes' darken'd gloss _  
_Seem'd stealing o'er thy brilliant cheek, _  
_Like raven's plumage smooth'd on snow._

_I dreamt last night our love return'd, _  
_And, sooth to say, that very dream _  
_Was sweeter in its phantasy, _  
_Than if for other hearts I burn'd, _  
_For eyes that ne'er like thine could beam _  
_In Rapture's wild reality. _

_Then tell me not, remind me not, _  
_Of hours which, though for ever gone, _  
_Can still a pleasing dream restore, _  
_Till Thou and I shall be forgot, _  
_And senseless, as the mouldering stone _  
_Which tells that we shall be no more._


	13. Veronica V

**A/N I apologize in advance for the ridiculously long author's note lol. And, of course, feel free to skip it entirely.**

**Ok, a couple of things. This chapter and the two before it have all been over 14,000 words, so they're taking me a little longer to post. On top of that, I've been struggling to stay motivated lately. I work full time and there's a lot going in my personal life right now, so finding the time and getting into the mindset to write has become more and more difficult. (This is where reviews really do help- knowing that people are reading and enjoying the story is incredible incentive to keep going.) **

**These last few chapters have taken a lot out of me. As things get more intense for the characters, it actually seems to affect my emotions. (One of the reasons I stopped writing in the first place.) I'll be honest with you guys, I was about thisclose to taking a long break after I posted the last chapter. If it wasn't for the positive reviews and a couple of people urging me to continue, the current chapter wouldn't have made an appearance for awhile. I have to give a special thank you to Nice-one for her truly kind words of encouragement. So, I'm not trying to be a downer- this story really holds a special place in my heart, and I can't tell you what it means to me that other people like it, too. I just wanted to let you all know where my head is at, in case I do take a little break. But I WILL finish this. I know exactly what happens next, and I'm excited to share that with you all.**

**Whew! Okay. For those who asked which line in the last chapter was my boyfriend's (I know he's technically my fiancé, but that still sounds so weird lol) it was the line to Ashlee as she's walking away (So when do I get my plaque? It's Logan with one L.) I wrote the scene without the comeback, intending to go in and add something funny after the fact. I asked him if he wanted to take a stab at it and that's what he came up with. I was impressed. His sense of humor is one of the many reasons I'm marrying him ;) (And because when we first got together, he agreed to watch all 7 seasons of Buffy, all 5 seasons of Angel and all 3 seasons of Veronica Mars, among others. Sort of a screening process of mine. To be fair, I agreed to watch Rome, Deadwood and various zombie movies. All of which were awesome.)**

**Last thing and then I'll be quiet. I do have a livejournal account, but I find the site so freaking confusing that I never go on there. If someone wants to explain it to me I'd be grateful. But even if I start posting the story there, I'll continue posting here as well.**

**Now, without further ado, I bring you…**

**Chapter 13**

Veronica

_Bobby,_

_Sorry for the late reply (again). More of the same here. Working on a zillion things at once, as usual, and kind of exhausted. I'm taking 18 credits this semester, plus working and still handling the odd case from time to time. Lee has even helped me out with a couple of cases, which is nice of him. Things are kind of weird with us, though. Not sure if he told you, but we started dating again after graduation. We broke up and we're just friends now. I'm dating someone else, and Lee has moved on to various other… relationships. (You met K, you can use your imagination.) He has quite a reputation among the female student body. Or should I say, with the female student body. Heh heh, sorry, bad joke. _

_Anyway. His friendship is very important to me, but it all gets so confusing sometimes. There's just a ton of history between us, and no one else seems to understand how difficult and complicated our relationship is. (If anyone would get it, you would.) And it doesn't help that Lee kind of beat up my current boyfriend a few months ago (long story). So basically, they can't stand each other, and I'm sort of stuck in the middle._

_Enough of my drama. Tell me more about Mia! She sounds amazing. I'm so, so happy for you. Have you decided on a date for the wedding yet? I really wish I could be there for that :( Ok, please give Lo a hug and kiss from me._

_Love,_

_Blondie (Have I mentioned how much I despise this? It makes me sound like a cartoon squirrel.)_

**xxXxx**

"Logan!"

Veronica sat up quickly. The images of the nightmare replayed themselves in her mind, even as she became aware of the walls of her room and the light filtering in through the window behind her. As her pounding heart began to slow, her surroundings took on a more solid quality. _He's okay. Everything is okay._

"Veronica?"

Mac stood in front of her, concern clear on her face. _She's probably wondering why I'm calling out Logan's name. Don't worry, Mac, it's not what you think. It was just Logan's turn to get tied to the tracks tonight. His turn to get hit by the train. _Veronica exhaled and brushed her hair back with both hands. "I'm okay."

She could tell Mac wasn't convinced, but her friend nodded and walked back to her side of the room. Veronica lay down and pulled her comforter over her head. _The nightmares are getting worse. Especially since Piz got hurt, and that was three weeks ago. If this doesn't stop, I might actually have to go to a doctor. Maybe they can prescribe something to help me sleep._ _I feel like a zombie lately. _Veronica pushed the blanket aside and sat back up. She switched on the overhead light, but didn't get out of bed. Instead, she stared at the glass light fixture above her in a daze, thinking about that night three weeks ago. The night of Logan's party…

_Veronica rushes down the bright, white hallway of the hospital, but slows as she gets closer to room 804. Piz has been moved out of the emergency room and admitted as a patient. She takes a deep breath before she enters; she knows it's going to be bad and she wants to prepare herself. The breathing is supposed to calm her, but when she exhales she begins to cry. _

_She leans heavily against the wall just outside of his room, frustrated that she can't get a handle on her emotions. She'd stayed calm during the car ride with Casey, politely but firmly refusing his offer to come inside with her. She'd stayed calm as she'd spoken with the nurse at the front desk, asking her where Piz had been moved to and trying to get more information out of her. And she'd stayed calm in the elevator ride up to the eighth floor of the hospital._

_But now the tears are flowing unchecked down her cheeks; and when she realizes that Piz getting hurt isn't the only reason she's crying, she starts to cry harder. She has two images warring in her brain- a masked man holding a gun to Piz's head… and Logan, sitting at the bar and looking at her with resigned disappointment. Similarly, her thoughts are scattered and broken. Divided._

Why did Piz do this? Why did he get involved…? Why did Logan want to kiss me? He was drunk, that's got to be all it was… I told Piz how dangerous this was. Oh god, I know it's my fault… I thought Logan played that song for me, I thought for a minute, maybe he still felt something for me. No, he's made it clear that he's moved on… I know Piz did this for me, because he thought he was helping. But was that the only reason? I don't want to see him hurt; I don't want to see what I've done to him… I don't want to see Logan hurt either, ever again. I'm glad he's moved on… with Heather and Ashlee and Parker and Madison and Hannah and Kendall… and I've moved on with Piz.

All I wanted was for things to go back to being normal, and calm, and for the world to somehow make sense again. Nothing has made sense for so many years… But no matter how hard I try, I keep screwing up, and the people I care about keep getting hurt, over and over and over…_ Veronica angrily wipes her tears from her face with the sleeve of her jacket. The fabric is rough and she knows it's making her skin raw, but she doesn't care. She takes two deep breaths and enters the room._

_Piz is lying on a hospital bed in the slightly darkened room, the bed at an incline so she can clearly see his face. He appears to be asleep. The entire left side of his face is black and blue, and there's a deep cut on his lip that's been stitched up- it will probably leave a permanent scar. There is bruising below his right eye as well, and scrapes along his cheekbone. He has an ace bandage wrapped around his left wrist, and a bandage on his left forearm. There is an IV hooked up to his right arm, and various other wires are running from his body to beeping monitors. Veronica takes a shaky breath and moves to stand beside him._

"_Miss Mars."_

_She spins around to see Clarence Weidman standing behind her. _He must have been waiting behind the curtain divider, in the other section of the room. Well that makes sense. He wouldn't want anyone to know that he was here. _Veronica studies him for a moment. "I think we're on a first name basis at this point," she says quietly._

_He nods. "I think you're right, Veronica."_

_She smiles despite herself, but it fades quickly. "So what the hell happened?"_

"_I was surveilling the Watson house when I witnessed a light go on in the office. I saw your boyfriend sit down at the computer, just moments before Mr. Watson and his wife arrived home. Mr. Watson entered the office shortly thereafter and spoke with him. After Mr. Piznarski left the room, I saw Mr. Watson make a phone call. Less than fifteen minutes later, a black sedan turned onto the street and parked several houses down, but no one left the vehicle. I knew they were up to something."_

_Veronica nods. _What the hell compelled Piz to play spy tonight? Especially after I told him to drop it…

_Clarence continues. "Mr. Piznarski exited the house, and began walking to his car. As I told you on the phone, two men in ski caps got out of the sedan and blocked his way. Before I had time to act, one of the men struck him multiple times in the face and body, while the other held a gun to his head. He forced your boyfriend to give them his backpack, and then hit him on the head with the butt of his gun. _

"_Mr. Piznarski was knocked unconscious and fell to the pavement, unable to break his fall. The men ran back to the car and pulled away. I had to make the decision to either help him, or follow the men who did this to him." Clarence glances over at Piz, seeming unsure about whether he made the right choice. Veronica can't hold it against him; she knows how desperately he wants to bring these people down._

"_Thank you for bringing him here. The nurse told me he had some internal bleeding. If you'd left him there, he could have- I mean, you may have saved his life." Veronica looks up at him. "I owe you."_

_Clarence nods, but he still looks frustrated. He stiffens suddenly and gestures towards Piz. Veronica looks over to see that he's waking up. She walks over to him quickly and takes hold of his right hand, careful not to disturb the IV. Clarence slips back into the other section of the room, out of sight behind the blue and green curtain._

_Piz slowly opens his right eye; his left eye is swollen shut. It takes him a few seconds to become aware of her. The nurse told her that he has a concussion, several bruised ribs and a sprained wrist. He's on morphine for the pain. Veronica squeezes his hand. "Hey. Do you know where you are?" _

"_Somewhere foggy. San Francisco?"_

_Veronica smiles, impressed that he's making a joke in his condition. "I want whatever you're on." She sits down in the metal chair beside his bed. "Do you remember what happened?"_

"_I got hit by a gun. And…some fists. Not necessarily in that order." His speech is a bit slurred because of his swollen lip. "And someone took my backpack." Piz looks around, suddenly confused. "How did I get here?"_

"_A good Samaritan."_

"_Well that was nice of them." Piz scratches his head, the movement sluggish. "I have a present for you." _

"_Shhh. Just try and get some rest, okay?" she pulls the blanket up over him and kisses his forehead._

"_No," he insists. "I have something for you. It's in my jacket. But…I don't know where my jacket is."_

_Veronica decides to indulge him, not wanting to get him upset. She wanders around the room until she locates his clothing, folded up in a closet. She hands his jacket to him. "Is this what you wanted?"_

"_Yes." Piz clumsily searches his jacket, fingers fumbling as he tries to unbutton an inner pocket._

"_Here, let me help you," Veronica says, reaching forward._

_Piz hands her the jacket with a sleepy half-smile. "Look in the inside pocket."_

_Veronica does as instructed, pulling out a CD case. She looks at Piz with surprise. "What's this?"_

"_Jennifer. No, Josephine," he says. "The file you wanted from Emily's dad."_

"_He didn't- catch you?" she asks, confused._ Clarence said Mr. Watson caught him sitting at the computer…

"_He saw me in the office. But I told him Em said it was okay to use the computer, so I could…" Piz trails off for a moment, looking confused, and then focuses back on Veronica. "So I could burn the recording of our band that Tristan made. I showed her dad that_ _CD and he totally bought it," Piz says proudly. "This spy stuff is a piece of cake."_

_Veronica smiles at him, but her mind is running rapidly. _Piz must have been less convincing than he thought he was. He must have done something to make Mr. Watson suspicious. Maybe he left a tab open on the computer? Whatever it was, he must have seen Piz put the other disc, the recording of their band, into his backpack. Then he called someone over to the house to get the backpack, to see if he really _had_ accessed any of his files. He obviously told them to make it look like a mugging. Jesus, these people are paranoid. Who would be suspicious of Piz? But that means… _Veronica sighs with relief. _That means, when they look at the CD in his backpack, all they'll find is the band's recording. No one will know that Piz was involved. Mr. Watson will think that Piz is innocent.

_But as relieved as Veronica is, she still feels the weight of her mistake._ I got him involved in this, and it was just as dangerous as I knew it would be. He could have gotten killed. Look at him… _She looks down at the jewel case, cracked but otherwise undamaged. Then she looks at him, bandaged and bruised. _He doesn't have any idea that he's here in this hospital bed because of this CD. And why would he? He has no idea what Mr. Watson is really involved with. The story _I_ told him was a lie.

_Thank you," she says quietly, holding up the jewel case. "But… I asked you not to do this."_

"_I wanted to help."_

"_But I told you that I didn't want you to get involved." _

"_Yeah, well…"_

_She looks at him more closely, suddenly aware that he's keeping something from her. "Piz?"_

_He looks away from her. "I was pissed off, alright? I was mad that you went to Logan's birthday party. I just felt like, I don't know, doing something stupid."_

"_But I _asked_ you," she reminds him, struggling to keep her voice gentle. "You told me you were okay with me going to his party."_

_Piz glances at her. "Well I lied."_

"_Okay…?" she says, her tone asking for more explanation._

"_Look, I know you think Logan's fine just being your friend. But believe me, that guy wants more from you. The way he looks at you is…"_

"_Is what?"_

"_Well it's_ not _the way you look at a friend, okay? It's the way a- a lion looks at gazelle."_

_Veronica flashes to Logan earlier that night, eyes smoldering as he casually asked her for a birthday kiss. She thinks about the way he leaned in closer to her, so she could smell his cologne and feel the faint heat coming off of his skin. As it always was with Logan, he was showing her two conflicting sides of himself at once._ So which Logan am I supposed to believe? The one with the flirty tone in his voice that made me think that it was all a joke… or the one who looked at me so intently, almost _challenging_ me to kiss him? _Or_ do I believe the five glasses of scotch and countless shots that I watched him drink?

_All she knows is that she doesn't want to have this conversation right now. She is acutely aware of Clarence Weidman's presence just behind the curtain, and she has no desire to air out her relationship drama in front of him._ Besides, my nerves are shot. And Piz needs to rest. _So she manages a smile. "I think maybe the morphine is getting to you."_

"_Actually," Piz says, grimacing a bit, "I think it's starting to wear off." _

_Veronica calls the nurse in, and they give him something for the pain. She sits quietly with him until he falls asleep, answering Wallace and Mac's text messages asking her how Piz is doing and if there's anything they can do. As soon as he drifts off, she gets up and walks behind the curtain. She hands Clarence the CD case. "This better have been worth it."_

_He nods. "I think this will change everything. I'm going to take a look at it right now. If it is what I think it is, I'll be making a copy. If something should happen to me, I'll leave instructions so that copy will come into your possession. Then I'm heading to Quantico. I think my friend Agent Daniels will be very interested in seeing what's on this file." Clarence heads to the door, then stops and turns around. "I'm sorry your boyfriend got hurt." Without another word, he leaves the room… _

Veronica looked away from the overhead light, trying to come back to the present. _I'm sorry too. Believe me. _She hadn't heard from Clarence since then. She hoped that the FBI was making headway on the case. No one had come after Piz again, so it seemed Mr. Watson really had thought it was a mistake. But Veronica was happy that his sprained wrist, which had prevented him from being able to play guitar for the last few weeks, had also kept him away from the Watson house. _At least I know that he's safe now._

The days after the "mugging" had been pretty tough. Veronica had spent most of the weekend at the hospital with him, missing her Monday classes so that she could drive him back to campus when he was released. She'd wanted so badly to tell Piz what was really going on with the Watson's- she still did. But she was afraid that that knowledge could somehow be dangerous to him.

_What if he decides to tell Emily, and she confronts her father? He would alert the other Blessed Savior members, and that would be that._ _The disc I copied from the FBI, all of the information Clarence Weidman has gathered, Piz getting hurt… All of it would be for nothing._ Veronica had considered telling her own father, but she didn't want him to then do something that would put _his_ life in danger, in some kind of attempt to protect her. So she'd stayed silent, holding in all of her guilt and all of her fear. _Which... might explain the nightmares._

On top of that, her friendship with Logan was getting more and more complicated. Since the night of Dick and Logan's party, she'd been acutely aware of the danger of getting too close to him, physically. _That night, when he held me in his arms, everything felt so _raw_. The grief we both still share for Lilly, the memories of times we spent together in the past, his vulnerability… It was all very… confusing._

_Logan was so kind to me that night, so compassionate. For once, there was no sarcasm, or resentment, it was just _us_. The way it used to be. I just don't understand how he feels about me, what I mean to him. All I know is that spending time with him that night brought back all of the feelings I've been trying so desperately not think about for the last few months. But it also made me realize how important his friendship really is to me. _

So Veronica had started to make more of an effort to open up to him. She'd told him what was going on in her life; about moving, and her family, and how strange some of these changes were for her. For the first time, maybe even since they'd met, she was trying to be as honest as she could with him. And she'd been happy with the way things were going. She'd felt as though they were closer than ever. _But at a safe distance._

_And then, at his birthday party, he asked me for a kiss. I still have no idea what that meant. Was he just drunk? He drank so much that night, he probably doesn't even remember… Was he joking with me? He _seemed_ serious, but it's so hard to tell… And it was more than him wanting a kiss… it was the way he looked at me when "Sway" was playing, the way he touched my face… Maybe it was just this… attraction between us that doesn't seem to be going away._

Veronica had suspected that she wasn't the only one who was still struggling with it, but the day Logan had come to Professor Hawkins house with her had confirmed that he still felt it, too. _I know that look of his too well to mistake it for anything else. But what can I possibly do about that? I mean, we have a history together, I can't help that. _

She chewed on her thumbnail as she continued to think. _Even if Logan _does_ still have feelings for me, does that change anything? We're still the same people who have tried to make this work, _four times_ now, and failed. Miserably. We're the same people who keep hurting each other, and lying to each other, and screwing each other up. We're both just as damaged, if not even worse than we were before. Nothing has really changed._

Aside from being confused about her relationship with Logan, Veronica was now dealing with the fact that Piz was uncomfortable with it, too. Up until the night that Piz had gotten hurt, Veronica had talked herself into believing that he was fine with her and Logan being friends. He'd never actually _said_ otherwise._ Okay, yeah, maybe I knew deep down that it bothered him. But it was so much easier to pretend that it didn't, so that I didn't have to think about it._

But when he'd actually admitted it to her, she'd suddenly felt enormous pressure not to be alone with Logan- or to do anything that could be considered inappropriate. _Because no matter what's going on with me and Logan, I still care about Piz. That hasn't changed either. I'm committed to our relationship, and the last thing in the world that I want to do is hurt him. _So once it had become clear that Logan wasn't going to mention the kiss, the two of them had fallen back into an easy routine. They still flirted- there didn't seem to be any cure for that- but she kept their contact strictly within the confines of their classroom.

_I know Piz would never ask me to stop being friends with Logan. Between the concussion and the morphine, I'm sure he doesn't even remember saying anything to me that night. But now that I know how he feels… I have to respect that._ Veronica understood, better than most people, how powerful an emotion jealousy could be. She didn't ever want Piz to worry that she and Logan were up to something. _Especially not now. Not after the part I played in what happened to him._

Veronica finally stood up, trying to shake off the thoughts that seemed to run in a continuous loop through her head. _At least he's almost completely healed. By the time he goes home for Thanksgiving, his family won't even be able to tell that anything happened to him._

**xxXxx**

Later that day, Veronica was heading across campus towards her Lit class when she spotted Vanessa, the girl who Wallace had been dating for over a month now. Veronica was about to call out to her when she saw a tall, muscular blond guy come up behind her and put his arms around her. Vanessa turned around, giving him a broad smile and a kiss on the cheek. The two of them continued walking in the other direction. Veronica watched them until they entered Sullivan Hall together and disappeared from her sight.

A few minutes later, she walked into her Lit class and sat down next to Logan. As usual, they'd both arrived early and were the only ones there. Veronica liked having the extra time to talk to him, especially now that she only saw him a couple of days a week. But she wasn't sure why Logan got to class early. She'd never asked him. _I wonder if he's just killing time between classes, like I always thought, or if he comes early because he wants to talk to me, too?_ It was on the tip of her tongue to ask Logan what class he had before Lit when he spoke up.

"So do you think Piz would let me borrow you for an afternoon?" he asked.

"Well if he does, we should at least make a night of it," Veronica joked.

"But I was hoping for a nooner," he returned.

"I see some things never change."

"Never," Logan said with a smile. "In all seriousness, I need to look at houses, and I could use an extra opinion."

"Wow. You're actually considering life out in Gen Pop with the rest of us?" Veronica asked.

"As distasteful as that sounds, yes. I need to make the rest of my trust fund last, and my accountant tells me that living in a hotel is somewhat frivolous," Logan replied.

"It _is_?" Veronica said with mock horror.

"I was shocked as well."

Veronica smiled. She was touched that he wanted her opinion. _And as far as seeing him outside of class… Well, house shopping seems pretty tame. I think it'll be okay._ "Sure, no problem," she agreed. "My schedule is pretty crazy for the next month or so, though. Are you able to hold off until winter break?"

Logan sighed heavily. "Well I may have to let Babette, my masseuse, go. That could make the funds stretch, I suppose."

"I'm sure she'll be heartbroken."

"She _is_ fond of me."

"I'll bet," Veronica said dryly. "So on a different note… you know Wallace's girlfriend, Vanessa?"

"He's actually _dating_ her?"

"Yeah… why?" she asked suspiciously.

Logan shrugged. "I didn't think she was the type to, you know, settle down."

"So you're saying she's got a reputation."

"Um, yeah. You could say that," Logan said with a chuckle.

"Did you ever-" Veronica began without thinking. She stopped abruptly. _I have no right to ask him about things like this. It's none of my business who he chooses to spend his time with._

Logan smirked at her. "Moi? _I_ am a perfect gentleman."

Veronica turned to face him, simultaneously crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows.

He laughed. "No. I never hooked up with her. She came onto me one night at the bar, but she was trashed. Holding someone's hair back while they puke doesn't exactly turn me on."

For some reason, Logan saying "turn me on" made Veronica blush, so she looked away. _Maybe because I _do_ know what turns Logan on… and now I can't get it out of my head… _Images began to play through her mind of her and Logan. At the beach, rolling around on the sand… making out in a plastic cave during a game of mini-golf… sneaking him into her room that night he'd shown up unexpectedly, after exchanging a few rounds of dirty text messages…

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, with real concern. "You look- do you have a fever or something?" Logan reached over and placed his hand against her forehead. The simple touch jolted her out of her reverie. He seemed to take her movement as a sign that she didn't want him to touch her, and quickly pulled his hand away. "You're a little warm," he said quietly.

Veronica felt the loss of his touch immediately. His hands were so gentle, _he_ was so gentle. _Well sometimes…_ A wicked smile crept across her face as other memories played through her mind. Logan pulling her down onto his beach towel, kissing and holding her so hard that it made her breathless… Logan pressing her up against the wall of the shower… Logan playfully sucking on her neck until he'd left a mark… Logan ripping off her dress after a formal dinner out at a French restaurant…

_He'd been running his hand up her leg beneath the table during the entire meal. As they ate their salads, his fingernails grazed her knee, for the appetizer he gently stroked her thigh, and by the time their entrées came, the tips of his fingers had traveled well north of where they'd begun. They inhale their entrées and Logan actually uses the phrase, "Check, please" to hurry them out of there._

_They almost give into temptation in the elevator on the way up to the suite, hands roaming all over each other's bodies. But someone gets on with them on the seventh floor, and they have to break apart. The moment they enter the suite, Logan kicks the door closed and pushes her against the wall in the hallway. He kisses and bites her neck, crushing her to him as if he can't get close enough._

_Veronica closes her eyes, sensations traveling through her in waves. Logan runs his hands down both of her arms, lifting them up above her head. He holds both of her wrists together lightly, indicating that he wants her to keep her arms raised. Logan bends down and grabs the hem of her dress, yanking it upwards in one motion, like a magician with a tablecloth… revealing Veronica standing there in only her bra, panties, thigh highs and heels. _

_Logan steps back to look at her, a raw expression of love and longing on his face that makes her feel like the most desirable woman on earth. He shakes his head and exhales. "God damn you're beautiful." He kisses her from her bare stomach to the nape of her neck as she struggles to unbutton his shirt. _

"_Stay still for a minute," she laughs. _

"_Just rip it off. I'll buy another one," he mumbles into her neck._

"_Not again. I draw the line at three ruined shirts this week. That's just wasteful," she teases. _

"_Well then fucking hurry," Logan demands as he unclasps her bra. _

_Veronica laughs but finishes her task, pulling his shirt off of him so she can feel his bare skin against hers. She runs her hands up his back, scratching the skin lightly with her nails, and Logan's hand clenches her hip more tightly. She suspects they're not going to make it into the bedroom. _

_Logan confirms that a minute later when his mouth finally makes its way back to hers. "I want you… right here," he says between kisses, biting down and then playfully sucking on her lower lip. "Right here, right now."_

_Veronica helps him with his belt buckle and he steps out of his pants and kicks them to the side. As he approaches her again, he growls low in his throat, and she feels her pulse quicken in anticipation. He puts one hand on the small of her back and the other behind her head, pulling her body to his. "Veronica," he breathes into her hair…_

"Veronica. Veronica!" Logan whispered roughly.

She blinked. Class had started, and the professor was looking at her expectantly. She swallowed, biding for time. "I'm sorry, what was the question?"

Professor Jayne looked back at her with those eyes that seemed to see everything, glancing at both her and Logan before she continued. "In your opinion, who is the greatest sinner in _The Scarlet Letter_?"

"Chillingworth," she replied quickly.

"Why?"

Veronica cleared her throat. "Because he was the only character who didn't learn forgiveness. He couldn't admit his true feelings for Hester, and his heart became so filled with anger and jealousy that it consumed him. His… need for revenge became more important to him than anything else in his life." She glanced over at Logan, who was watching her with a strange expression on his face.

"Excellent, Veronica. That's absolutely correct. Chillingworth lets his passion and love for Hester turn to bitter hatred. He cannot or _will_ not move past his wife's affair, even though she believed him to be dead. And he feels no remorse for his sins. His actions against Dimmesdale are precise and premeditated. While it's true that Hester and Dimmesdale have also sinned, their sin was born out of love. Hester, and eventually Dimmesdale, both acknowledge their guilt and accept their punishment."

Professor Jayne continued her lecture. Veronica struggled to pay attention, but flashes of her and Logan together wouldn't stop playing through her mind. She was relieved when the class ended. All of the discussion about passion, jealousy and adultery was making her distinctly uncomfortable.

As she closed her notebook, Logan leaned over and whispered in her ear. He was so close that his breath tickled her neck. "Where did you go before? You looked-" he broke off abruptly and moved away. Logan stood up, gathered his books and walked towards the door.

Veronica hurried after him and caught his arm just outside of the lecture hall. "I looked…?" she prompted.

Logan leaned back against the wall, left hand absently stroking a poster for an upcoming Alumni weekend. Then he turned and looked her in the eyes. "You looked the same way you did that night we went to _La Belle Fleur_." He gave her a smile and a wink, and walked away. Veronica stared after him.

**xxXxx**

_To my favorite cartoon squirrel,_

_It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Maybe you should consider taking it a little easier next semester. I mean, there's no rush, right? You know, some people don't even get the chance to go to college -ahem- so you should try to relax and enjoy it while you're there. :) _

_As for you and Lee, I have no doubt things are complicated. But I know that your friendship is very important to him, too. It always has been. It sounds to me like the two of you need to talk. We both know how quickly life can change…If I've learned anything in the last few years, it's that you should never take what you have for granted- especially the people who are important to you._

_It's so hard to describe Mia and do her any justice. You just have to meet her. She's got this gentle, calming presence, like she's wise beyond her years. And she's so good with Lo. Mia is the first person who I've been able to trust enough to tell everything to (everything), and I can't tell you how good it is to just be honest with someone again. It's so refreshing to be with someone who actually knows me for who I really am. _

_So, a mutual friend tells me my situation might be getting better soon… I'm hopeful that's the case, but I know things won't be worked out before the wedding. (We're getting married next month!) As for what you said about wanting to come… if you're serious, maybe we can figure that out? I would absolutely love for you to be there. _

_Take it easy Blondie (and I mean that, you seem stressed),_

_Bobby_

**xxXxx**

On Saturday morning, Veronica and Wallace headed across campus towards the food court. They were meeting Mac, Piz and Vanessa for breakfast. Veronica, who'd had another sleepless night, was feeling dull and groggy. She realized after a moment that Wallace had asked her a question.

"I'm sorry, what?"

He shook his head at her. "What's been up with you lately? You been waking and baking again?" he teased.

She gave him a tired smile. "Just having a little trouble sleeping lately. So what did you ask me?"

"If you think it's a boy or a girl? My mom said they can find out next week."

"You know, I'm not sure… I'm not really getting a strong feeling one way or the other," Veronica told him.

"Yeah, me either. Mom would never say it, but I know she wants a girl," Wallace said. He held the door of the Student Union building open for her.

"I don't know if my dad could handle another daughter," Veronica laughed, walking inside.

"You know they're not all like _you_, right? Some girls carry lipstick and hairbrushes in their purses instead of tazer guns and slim jims," he joked. They spotted Mac and Piz, and walked over to their table.

"Well, at least those girls will look good while they sit outside of their cars waiting for the locksmith to come," she retorted. She kissed Piz on the cheek and sat down next to him. "Besides," she continued to Wallace, "I have lipstick and a hairbrush in my bag, too. It's possible to be both girlie _and _prepared." Veronica turned towards Piz and Mac. "Right?"

"We're not getting involved," Mac laughed. She stood up. "What does everyone want to eat? I have a ton of credits left on my card, so it's on me."

"Cheese Danish?" Wallace requested.

"Two or three?" Mac asked knowingly.

"Um… four? If you have enough credits."

She laughed. "No problem. Piz?"

"Bacon, egg and cheese?"

Wallace looked up. "Oh, that sounds good. Could I get a couple of those too?"

Mac stared at him. "Where do you put it all? Seriously?" She shook her head. "Veronica?"

"I'm good."

Mac and Wallace glanced at each other. "Are you sure?" Mac asked. "Maybe a hard roll with butter, or a fruit cup or something?"

Veronica shrugged. "No, thanks. Could I just get a coffee with cream?"

"Sure," Mac said.

"I'll go with you," Piz offered. He stood up, and the two of them headed over to _Hallowed Grounds_. Veronica and Wallace continued their conversation.

"So they find out next week, huh? That's exciting," Veronica said. She was still adjusting to the idea of becoming a big sister; but the more time that passed, the more the idea was starting to grow on her. Her dad and Alicia were so excited that it was impossible not to get enthusiastic about it.

"Yeah, but my mom said they're not sure whether or not they want to find out," Wallace told her.

"_What?_" Veronica asked. "But- why wouldn't they want to know?

Wallace laughed. "Because _some _people like to be surprised."

"Surprises are so overrated," Veronica sighed. She cleared her throat. "So, um, you and Vanessa seem like you've gotten more serious."

Wallace grinned. "You're determined to prove that you really _can_ be girlie, aren't you?"

"Oh, forget it," she grumbled.

He laughed. "Yeah, we had 'the talk'."

"So you're, like, exclusive?" she asked casually.

"Come on, V. Who can say no to the Fennel charm?" he joked.

Veronica couldn't manage a smile. She hadn't said anything to Wallace about seeing Vanessa with the blond guy the other day; she hadn't wanted to jump to conclusions. But between that and what Logan had said to her, she was starting to get a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Um, Wallace… I saw Vanessa with this guy on campus the other day, and it seemed like…" She faltered when she saw the look on Wallace's face, but took a deep breath and continued. "I mean, it was probably nothing, but they seemed kind of friendly. Do you want me to… look into it for you?"

Wallace shrugged, but Veronica could tell that what she'd said had bothered him. "Nah. I'm sure it was nothing."

"Are you sure? I mean, you're probably right, it was probably totally innocent. But if you want to know for sure-"

"It's all good." Wallace shrugged again. "She's an affectionate person. It's easy to take that the wrong way."

Veronica nodded. "Okay."

"Hey, guys, sorry I'm late."

Veronica looked up to see that Vanessa had arrived. She gave Wallace a kiss on the lips and slid down into the seat next to his.

"Hey, Beautiful," Wallace said. He smiled broadly and kissed Vanessa again.

Veronica gave her a tight smile. "Hi, Vanessa," she said. "Do you know what you want to eat? Mac's buying today."

"Oh, that's so sweet of her! Um, I'd love a blueberry muffin," Vanessa said. "And maybe an orange juice?"

Veronica stood up. "I'll go tell Mac." She walked over to _Hallowed Grounds_, relieved to get away. She got in line behind Mac and Piz and told them what Vanessa wanted.

"I'm so glad Wallace found someone who he likes," Mac said, watching the couple with a smile.

"Me too," Piz agreed. "And she's really nice."

Veronica stayed silent. After a few minutes, she turned to Piz. "So what are you up to today? I don't have to work, for a change. Do you feel like going to the movies or something?"

"Uh- actually, me and Em were going to meet up with Trish in a little bit. We wanted to see if we could get our band some air play. I figured you'd be stuck at the library most of the day. But, um, maybe we can grab dinner later?" he asked.

Veronica played with the zipper on her jacket. She used to be fine with Piz's friendship with Emily, but knowing now what her father had done to Piz… _It bothers me that she has access to him. Can she really be trusted? What if she's involved and we just don't know about it?_ "I can't. I'm having dinner with my dad and Alicia tonight."

"Oh. Well maybe we can do something after?" he suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," Veronica said vaguely. Her thoughts were still on Emily. _And I know that she has feelings for him. It doesn't seem fair, somehow. Here I am, basically avoiding Logan so that Piz doesn't feel bad, and he's hanging out with Emily almost every day. She even came to visit him in the hospital…_

_Veronica walks down the hall towards room 804, excited to tell Piz the good news. The nurse has just told her that he's getting released from the hospital today. When she hears voices coming from his room, she pauses outside of the door._

"_I'm so sorry, Piz. Nothing like this has ever happened in my neighborhood before. It's actually much nicer than where we used to live. I thought it was totally safe."_

"_Emily, really, you don't have to apologize. It's totally not your fault."_

"_But I feel awful. God, you look terrible."_

"_Gee, thanks. That's what every guy wants to hear."_

_Veronica hears them both laugh._

"_Well, I'm really happy you decided to leave your guitar at my place that night," Emily continues._

"_I know. God, if the Martin got stolen too, I would have cried."_

"_Well, no need to cry, Emo," she teases. "I have it for you. Whenever you want me to bring it over, just let me know."_

"_Thanks. Although I don't know when I'll be able to play again," Piz says ruefully._

"_Man that sucks so bad. It's your strumming hand though. Maybe if you wore a brace, you could still play a little bit?" she suggests._

"_I already asked the doctor. They told me I could risk reinjuring it. I have to give it a few weeks to heal. But then I promise, we'll get right back to practicing."_

"_Well heal quickly, then, damnit!" she demands playfully. "Tristan said he can get us a gig at Valentine's whenever we're ready."_

"_That's gonna be so sweet. I wonder if I'll still be able to play in the concert for Jazz Ensemble?"_

"_Oh my god, speaking of Jazz Ensemble, I totally have to tell you! It turns out Professor Jerry scores weed from my buddy Mike. Like, a freaking ounce every couple of weeks."_

"_That explains a lot," Piz says. They both start laughing again._

_Veronica walks into the room. Piz is still smiling at Emily, who's sitting in the metal chair beside his bed. When Emily sees Veronica, she stands up quickly._

_Piz clears his throat. "Hey. Uh, Em, you remember Veronica, right?"_

_Emily smiles at her. "Yeah, hi. It's nice to see you again."_

"_Hi," Veronica says back. "Good to see you too."_

_There is a slightly awkward pause, and then Emily continues. "Well, I better get going. I have class." She turns to Piz. "Get better soon, okay?"_

"_I'll do my best."_

"_See you guys later," Emily says. She hurries out of the room…_

That visit had confirmed Veronica's suspicions about Emily- she had it bad for Piz. Veronica looked at Piz, who was over at the counter now, ordering breakfast. _But the question is, how do _you_ feel about _her_?_

**xxXxx**

After breakfast, Veronica said goodbye to Piz, Wallace and Vanessa, and started walking back to Benes Hall with Mac. She realized after a minute that she'd left her bag at the table, so she told Mac to head on without her and hurried back to the food court. _God, I've been so spaced out lately. I think the lack of sleep is starting to catch up to me._ She grabbed her bag, relieved that it was still where she'd left it. When she turned to leave, she noticed that Vanessa was still there, by herself. She watched as the girl glanced around a few times, and then began walking in the other direction. _Vanessa lives in Benes. I wonder why she's going that way?_ Impulsively, Veronica decided to follow her. _She's up to something. I can feel it._

She stayed a safe distance behind the girl as she walked across campus; but when Vanessa reached Sullivan Hall, Veronica hurried up so that she wouldn't lose her. She entered the building and stood listening for a moment. She could hear light footsteps heading up the stairs, so she quietly followed. The creak of a door opening above her told her that Vanessa was heading onto the third floor.

Veronica jogged up the stairs. She waited a beat and then opened the door, stepping out into the hallway. All of the dorms at Hearst had girls rooming on even numbered floors and boys rooming on odd numbered floors. _Third floor, odd number. So what are you doing here? _She watched Vanessa knock on a door midway down the hall. When the door opened, the blond from the other day answered. He was shirtless.

He greeted Vanessa with a big smile. "There you are, baby. Why'd you take off this morning? I missed you…" He pulled her into his arms and gave her a deep kiss.

Vanessa wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. "Mmm, I missed you too."

Veronica's heart raced as she watched them, anger coursing through her. _How could she do this to Wallace?_ She'd started down the hall without thinking about it, ready to confront the girl, when Vanessa and the blond disappeared into the room. Veronica stared at the closed door, her mind running. _Now what?_

**xxXxx**

When Veronica got back to the dorm, Mac was looking through her closet. She stood and watched for a moment as her friend pulled several outfits out of the closet and threw them onto her bed.

"Why do you _insist_ on treating me like a lady?" Mac muttered to herself.

"Would you rather he treated you like a man?" Veronica spoke up.

Mac spun around. "Stop doing that, already! It's creepy."

Veronica laughed and sat down in Mac's desk chair. "So where is he whisking you away to tonight? The Bahamas? Athens?"

"See, you think you're being funny- but if I asked, he would totally fly us to the Bahamas tonight. He's spoiling me rotten." Mac gestured to the red and white roses sitting in a crystal vase on her desk. "You see? He gets me flowers, and jewelry, and chocolates."

"Aw, you're like a trophy wife," Veronica teased.

Mac made a face at her. "Believe me, I don't ask for any of it."

"Oh, but you know you love it," Veronica said with a smile.

Mac shrugged, but she was smiling too. "Well, maybe just a little bit," she consented.

"So are you doodling 'Cindy Gant' on your notebooks yet?" Veronica asked.

"No, I'm a computer geek. I hide it as code in my Computer Programming homework."

"How twenty-first century of you."

"Meanwhile, he's stuck in the nineteenth century. Do you know that Casey gave me an original printing of _The House of Mirth_ after I mentioned _in passing_ one day that it was one of my favorite books? He's insane," Mac said, exasperated.

"I don't know if he's '_in_sane'. But he's definitely '_in_' something," Veronica joked.

"What? In _love_?" Mac scoffed. "We haven't even done the deed yet, how could he be in love?"

"You haven't?" Veronica asked, taken aback. _Mac mentioned they were taking things slow, but that was weeks ago._ _A little surprising, given his reputation in high school… Then again, look at what people said about _me_ in high school. _ "So, is he like…religious?"

Mac sighed and flopped down onto her bed. "No. He's old-fashioned." She looked at Veronica, shaking her head. "Can you believe it? I fall for the only guy left in this _millennium_ who actually thinks that sex still means something special. It's like I'm dating Edward Cullen."

Veronica laughed. "So does this mean that you'll have to marry him before he puts out?"

"Ha! I wouldn't be a bit surprised. But…" She smiled. "I think tonight might actually be, you know 'the night'." Mac sighed heavily. "It better be. He's like the sexiest man alive and he's been driving me absolutely _crazy_."

"I can relate. I haven't gotten any action in weeks," Veronica admitted.

"Oh, right, cuz Piz is hurt. Well, I officially don't feel bad for you. It's been almost two _months_ for me," Mac told her with a grimace. "And it doesn't help that Casey is quite possibly the best kisser on the planet. He does this one thing…" Mac trailed off, shaking her head.

"So where is he taking you tonight?" Veronica asked, changing the subject. All the talk about sex was bringing up images that she knew shouldn't still be playing in her mind.

"We're going out on his yacht. A freaking _yacht_. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to wear?" she asked, gesturing to the pile of clothing on her bed.

Veronica stood up and walked over to Mac's bed, looking at her options. "Well it's gonna be chilly out there on the water tonight, so you'll definitely want to wear pants and a long sleeved shirt. And make sure you have a sweater." She pulled a couple of things to the side and smiled at Mac. "You should pack an extra outfit for tomorrow, too, just in case."

Mac gave her a knowing look. "I suppose you've been on your fair share of yachts, through the years."

Veronica shrugged, her smile fading. "Logan liked to spoil me, too, what can I say." She sat back down at Mac's desk and ran her finger along one of the rose petals. "And the Kane's had a boat. We all used to go out on the water a lot, growing up."

"Hey, you okay?" Mac asked. "You've seemed a little down lately."

"I'm fine," Veronica said vaguely.

"No, you're mopey. And you don't let _me_ mope, so I'm not letting _you_ mope. Spill."

"I'm not Mopey. I'm Sleepy," Veronica joked half-heartedly.

"Veronica, in all seriousness, I'm worried about you. You're not eating, I can tell you're losing weight. And there's not much there to lose." Mac put her hands on her hips. "I know you're not sleeping, either."

"I'm sorry if I'm keeping you up," Veronica said quietly.

"Please, don't worry about me. What's going on with you?"

_I don't want to ruin her big date by laying all of this stuff with Vanessa on her. And I don't want to put her in the middle of everything with Logan and Piz. She's friends with both of them. I want her to be able to relax and enjoy herself tonight_. Veronica smiled at her. "I just have a lot on my mind. But it's nothing major," she said dismissively.

Mac looked at her carefully. "Well, I don't think you should be alone right now. I'm going to Dick and Logan's in a little bit, to play video games. Come with me," she urged. "You'd be surprised how cathartic blowing stuff up can be."

Veronica hesitated. "I don't know it that's such a good idea."

"Why not?" Mac asked.

Veronica sighed. "I just- I feel like Piz would be upset. He… said something to me, the night he got hurt. About how it bothered him that I went to Logan's birthday party. He was all doped up, and I know he probably doesn't remember. And he hasn't said a word since then. But now that I know our friendship bothers him, I've… been trying not to spend as much time with Logan."

Mac sat down on the edge of her bed. She looked at Veronica for a few moments before speaking. "Well, I think that's silly," she finally said. "Logan's your friend."

Veronica let her hand fall from the rose and looked back at Mac. "You know what? You're right. I'm in."

**xxXxx**

Veronica took a deep breath before she walked into the suite. _The last time I was here, I told Logan that he was out of my life. Forever. I certainly can be dramatic, sometimes._

Dick opened the door, grinning broadly when he spotted Veronica. "Well hello, ladies. Welcome." He winked at Veronica as he held the door open for them. "If you're here to plant a camera in the shower, just remember that I look my best from my right side."

She rolled her eyes at him but followed Mac into the suite. _Everything looks exactly the same._ _Well that make sense, it's a hotel. Wow, it smells exactly the same, too._ She stood unmoving next to the couch for a minute, overwhelmed by memories.

"Sit, don't be a stranger. You used to practically live here," Dick reminded her.

Veronica glanced at Mac, who had already taken a seat on the couch and grabbed a controller, apparently feeling quite at home. Veronica sat down gingerly on the edge of the couch, continuing her inspection of the room. The doors to Logan's room were closed. She had a strong urge to go into his room, just to see if it still looked the same, too. _Maybe he had a late night and he hasn't gotten up yet. Oh god, what if he's in there with someone else right now? _The thought was so powerful that she almost got up to leave.

"So, Richard Darling, where's Logan?" Mac asked. "He told me to come by at one."

"He's still out having lunch with Heather," Dick answered.

Veronica and Mac exchanged a look. "So, um, who is this Heather girl I keep hearing so much about?" Mac asked him.

"My sister-in-law. Well, possibly, soon to be _ex_ sister-in-law. We're working through some stuff," Dick replied, eyes focused on the screen. "Dude! Did you see that? Totally smoked that guy."

"You're _married_?" Veronica asked incredulously.

"Yup. Heather and Logan, like, bonded the weekend I got married. They were holed up in the suite together the whole time. She totally helped him get over you," Dick told her.

"Wait, _what_?" Veronica asked. "When was this?"

"Uh, I dunno. It was the last time you decided to Ginsu his balls off, so, whenever that was. All I know is when we left, he was a sniveling mess, and he smelled like roadkill. And when we came back, he was actually showering again. So Heather's pretty freaking awesome in my book. Plus, she's the only one who can kick Logan's ass at _Mario Kart_," Dick informed them.

Before Veronica had time to process all of that, she heard the door open. She glanced at Mac with a look of shock. _Come on, Mars, get your game face on._

"Hey, Dick, we brought you Cookie Dough."

Veronica looked up to see a pretty young girl, maybe twelve or thirteen years old, holding a cup of ice cream out towards Dick. Logan was standing behind her, looking at Veronica with surprise. There was no one else behind them. Veronica looked at Mac. She knew her mouth was open, but she couldn't help it.

"Oh, man, you're the best," Dick replied. He paused the game and took the cup of ice cream from her.

Mac looked from Veronica to the girl, smiling broadly. "Hey," she said. "I'm Mac."

"Mac, oh my god! Logan has told me so much about you. I'm Heather." She walked over and shook Mac's hand. When she looked up and saw Veronica, her mouth dropped open. For some reason, Heather turned around to look at Logan, and Veronica saw him shake his head almost imperceptibly at her.

_What the hell is going on? _This_ is Heather? Dick's sister-in-law? _Veronica looked back and forth between the two of them, completely confused. But when she looked more closely at Heather, she suddenly realized that she looked familiar. She had a hazy memory of standing in an elevator with Ratner and Logan… _And this girl was there too. She was wearing my shirt, and she said something about Logan dedicating a song to me on the radio. I was so shocked to see Logan, I barely knew what the hell was going on…_

Veronica looked down to hide her smile. _I've thought this whole time that Logan was dating _this girl_? Wow, I really am a crazy person. _She glanced up at Heather, who was making no attempt to conceal the fact that she was still staring at her. And then she looked at Logan, who seemed as though he were trying to hide a smile of his own. _I can't believe that Logan is friends with, like, a twelve year old. That's… incredibly sweet, actually. _"Hey," she finally spoke up, holding her hand out. "I'm Veronica."

Heather gave her a warm smile and shook her hand enthusiastically. "It's so good to see you here. I mean, it's so nice to meet you here. I mean-" She broke off, giggling, and looked back at Logan. He rolled his eyes at her.

"Alright, come on, your sister is waiting," he reminded her. "Grab your jacket."

"Why is Melinda waiting downstairs?" Dick asked.

Heather shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. "She, uh, didn't want to come up."

Dick sighed. He put his cup of ice cream down on the coffee table and stood up. "I'm coming down there with you," he told Heather.

"Um, okay. It was nice to meet you both," Heather said to the girls. She smiled at them, her eyes lingering on Veronica for a minute. She turned to Logan. "Thanks for lunch. You're calling me later." She gave him a quick hug around the waist and stepped away.

"Yeah, yeah," Logan agreed, sounding resigned. "Talk to you soon."

Heather and Dick headed out the door, just as Mac's phone rang. She looked down, then glanced at Veronica. "It's Casey. I'll be right back." She walked out onto the balcony, leaving Veronica unexpectedly alone with Logan.

Logan sat down onto the couch next to Veronica. "Hey."

"Hi," Veronica replied. She felt strangely nervous. "Uh, I hope it's okay that I'm here. Mac kind of invited me, but-"

"Of course it's okay," Logan interrupted her impatiently. He nodded towards the balcony. "Why is Mac being so secretive? I hope you're not rubbing off on her."

Veronica made a face, but scooted a little bit closer to him. "I think tonight is the 'big night'," she whispered. "You know, with her and Casey."

"Jesus, and I thought _I_ was patient," he muttered.

"Huh?" she asked

"Nothing."

Veronica was curious, but she decided to let it go. She looked at Logan, considering for a minute. "So, I have to tell you something."

"Finally! I've been waiting to hear you come clean about your first lesbian college experience for_ever_."

Veronica smirked at him. "Well, you can keep waiting."

"Until?"

"Ummm… half past never?"

He rolled his eyes. "Tease. So spill, what's up?"

"You know how we were talking about Vanessa the other day? Well, I sort of followed her this morning. And I saw her… making out with another guy."

"Damn," Logan said, shaking his head. "Does Wallace know yet?"

Veronica looked down. "No. I told him that I had, you know, concerns about her. But when I asked him if he wanted me to look into it, he told me not to."

"But, of course, you ignored him and did it anyway," Logan said with a sigh.

"Well what was I supposed to do? I mean, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to stop trying to protect the people I love," she told him indignantly. "Even when it's not necessarily what they want me to do."

"I can relate to that," he said wryly. He looked at her, his eyes serious. "You need to tell him. You know that."

Veronica sighed. "I know. I just- I know he's gonna be really angry with me, and hurt, and… I'm trying to work up the nerve."

"Well it's always best to come clean, even when you know it's gonna suck. I learned that the hard way."

Veronica looked at him, surprised. Before she had time to dwell on it, he continued.

"So there's something I wanted to ask you, too," he said.

Veronica felt her stomach flutter, but she kept her voice calm. "Sure."

Logan ran his hand through his hair, a gesture Veronica recognized as a nervous habit of his. "I, uh, I notice that you've been acting differently around me, lately."

The flutters in Veronica's stomach became belly flops. "Different how?"

"Well…we're friends, right?" he asked.

"Of course," she replied, taken aback.

"Well, friends call each other, from time to time. They stop over and say hello. They make plans to hang out," Logan said. "You and I pretty much only see each other in class."

Veronica nodded. She wanted to be honest with him, but she couldn't tell him the effect that being close to him had been having on her, lately. She chose her words carefully. "You and I…this is all kind of weird territory for me. I just don't know sometimes what's appropriate and what's not appropriate. Do you know what I mean?"

"Not really," he admitted.

"Well, I've never really been friends with someone I used to date." Veronica paused, thinking about Leo and Duncan. "Well," she amended, "not like this. Have you?"

Logan thought for a minute. "Nope. Just you."

"Really?" she asked. "What about when you and Lilly were in an 'off again' phase? I mean, you still saw each other every day. You guys still sat at the same lunch table, you still hung out over at her and Duncan's house…"

"Please," Logan scoffed. "Don't tell me you can't remember what _that_ was like. You were there. Every time we split up it was a like a 'who can fuck up the other person's head more' contest." Logan paused. "And she always won."

Veronica thought about that, suddenly remembering how truly volatile Lilly and Logan's relationship had actually been. She cleared her throat. "So, this is new for you, too."

"Yeah, I guess it is," Logan agreed.

"Well, then you can understand, it's tough sometimes. I'm trying really hard to respect Piz, to not do anything that crosses the line," she told him.

"And what is it that you think crosses the line?" he asked, seeming amused.

"Well, there's this thing with us," Veronica said, gesturing back and forth with both hands.

"What thing?" he asked.

"The flirting thing."

"Flirting is harmless," Logan said, flashing her a careless smile.

"Even when you flirt with your ex?" she asked insistently.

He shrugged, but Veronica noticed an almost devilish glint in his eye.

Veronica cleared her throat again. "And, then there's- the other thing, which I'm sure you don't remember."

"Try me."

"Well, on your birthday… you asked me for a kiss."

Logan just grinned at her.

Veronica looked back at him, astonished. "Do you- remember that?"

"Of course I remember," he said, still smiling.

Veronica waited, but when he offered no additional explanation, she continued. "So… were you just drunk, or…?"

Logan laughed. "I just wanted a kiss." He shrugged. "You don't have to analyze it to death."

Veronica shook her head at him, still a little shocked that he remembered it. _And that he's making so light of it. _"Um, have you met me?" she reminded him.

They both started laughing at the same time, and Veronica suddenly felt more relaxed than she'd been in weeks. Mac came back into the room then, looking a little bit pale. Veronica and Logan shared a look.

"Everything okay?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah, it's fine. He was just telling me, you know, what time he's picking me up, and what's on the menu," Mac said. She was trying to sound casual, but Veronica could tell that she was starting to get nervous about her date with Casey. _She's got it bad. But it's nice to see her with someone who treats her the way she deserves._

Dick came back into the room then, a big grin on his face. "We're finally getting somewhere," he announced. "I looked it up, and it turns out that it's an actual, like, disorder. It's called Morton's Toe. Weird, huh?"

Veronica turned to Logan. "Um, what the hell is he talking about?" she whispered.

Logan smiled and shook his head. "You don't want to know."

"So," Dick continued. "About ten percent of the population has it, which means it's not quite as freaky as I thought. But that doesn't mean I still don't want her to wear socks. You know, most of the time." He looked thoughtful. "I wonder if this means we can get handicapped parking?"

"Congratulations," Logan said dryly. "I see many years of bliss in your future."

Mac shook her head at Dick and walked over to where Logan and Veronica were sitting. "So we're leaving earlier than I thought," she told Veronica. "I think I need to go start getting ready and finish packing a bag. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Veronica said, standing up. "Do you have enough time to drop me off at the house, or is it too far?"

"I can drive you," Logan spoke up. He stood up and grabbed his hoody off of the back of the couch, then turned to Veronica. "You want to go now?"

"Um… sure," she agreed. She stood up and said goodbye to Dick, then followed Mac and Logan out the door.

**xxXxx**

When Logan pulled into the driveway, Veronica suddenly realized how reluctant she was to say goodbye to him. "Thanks," she said. "Um, do you want to come in for a minute? Get the nickel tour?"

"Sure," Logan agreed easily. He turned off the engine and followed her inside the house.

As soon as they'd stepped inside, Darrell ran up to them holding two plastic robots. "The enemy has broken through our shields! Fire all weapons!"

Veronica laughed, but Logan did a realistic impression of getting hit by bullets and fell to the ground. Backup trotted over and sniffed at him curiously. Darrell glanced up at Veronica with a big grin on his face, clearly impressed. "I got him!"

Logan jumped up. "That's what you think! My bio-shield protects me from all metal objects, _including_ bullets."

"Well does it protect you from my _Freeze Ray_?" Darrell asked. He pointed an imaginary gun at Logan.

"Not… the Freeze Ray…" Logan said dramatically, falling to his knees. "My one weakness…"

Veronica looked back and forth between the two of them. "It's official. Boys are from another planet."

Logan laughed and stood back up. "You're just jealous that you got stuck playing with Barbie dolls when we had all of the cool toys."

"You're not far off there," Veronica admitted. She put an arm around Darrell. "Darrell, this is my friend Logan. Logan, Darrell."

"Nice to meet you," Darrell said politely.

"You, too. Who do you have there, Bumblebee?" Logan asked, bending down so that he was on Darrell's level. Backup nudged Logan's hand with his snout, not wanting to get left out, and Logan absently scratched him behind his ear.

"Yeah, and Jazz."

"Sweet. My favorite was always Megatron," Logan told him.

"But he's a Decepticon," Darrell said, sounding scandalized.

"Yeah, but he was so cool." Logan turned to Veronica with a devious smile. "Sometimes the bad guys are more fun, right?"

She shook her head at him, but she was smiling too. _Who knew Logan was so good with kids?_

"Logan?"

Veronica and Logan both looked up to see Keith and Alicia, standing at the bottom of the stairs. Keith glanced at Veronica, curiosity clear on his face. Logan straightened up and offered him a smile.

"Hi, Mr. Mars. How have you been?" he asked.

"Good," Keith said. He walked over to Logan and shook his hand. "It's good to see you. It's been awhile. Do you remember Alicia?"

"Yeah, hi," Logan said, smiling at her. "Congratulations, to both of you."

"Thank you. Would you like to stay for dinner tonight?" Alicia asked. "There's more than enough food."

"Understatement of the year," Keith stage whispered.

"I tend to overdo it," Alicia admitted.

Logan ran his hand through his hair and glanced at Veronica, who'd been watching the whole scene with interest. "You should stay," she told him.

"Yeah, stay for dinner, Logan!" Darrell urged. "My mom makes the best food on the planet. And I can show you my Optimus Prime. He's so awesome."

Logan smiled at Darrell, then looked from Keith to Alicia to Veronica. His expression became serious. "Thanks," he said. "But I actually have plans already tonight."

"Another time, then," Alicia said kindly. She glanced at Veronica, then put her hand on Darrell's shoulder. "Come on you two, I need some help in the kitchen." Keith and Darrell said goodbye to Logan and followed Alicia out of the room.

As soon as they'd left, Veronica turned back to Logan. "You should stay," she repeated earnestly.

Logan's expression was unreadable. "Thanks, but I really can't. I better get going."

"I never got to give you the tour," Veronica reminded him.

"Maybe another time?" he asked. He put his hand on her arm and squeezed it lightly.

She nodded. "Definitely. Thanks for the ride."

Logan gave her a small smile, then turned and walked out the door without another word.

**xxXxx **

Veronica lay down on her new, queen-sized bed, listening to music and looking around her room. Her dad had painted the walls sage green and the trim a cream color, per her request. She was really happy with the mahogany bed frame and matching dressers that she and Alicia had picked out. They'd gone a little bit overboard shopping the previous weekend, but there was still a lot to do. The new house had four bedrooms, and her dad was working on converting the office into a nursery.

_You'd think a four bedroom house would be big enough to give everyone their own space, especially after being used to a tiny, two bedroom apartment. Not so much._ The house was loud, and hectic, and always felt slightly crowded. Veronica had to share the upstairs bathroom with two boys, Backup had completely abandoned her for Darrell, and the noise level was at a constant eight on weekends. _But it's also incredibly cozy, and it always smells like Alicia's awesome cooking. I have to admit, I love it here._

"You sleeping, lazy bones?"

Veronica looked up to see Wallace standing in her doorway. She paused her iPod, pulling her earbuds out as she sat up. "Nope. Just admiring my decorating abilities."

"The room looks great," Wallace agreed. "You know what else looks great?"

"What?"

"That batch of Snickerdoodles you made me," he told her.

A slow smile crept across Veronica's face. "Wait a minute, I don't remember making you any Snickerdoodles…"

"See, you don't know this, but I can see the future," Wallace told her. "And in about five minutes, you're going to feel an _overwhelming_ urge to go down to the kitchen and make your BFF his favorite snack."

"Funny how you've never mentioned this ability to me before. It certainly would have come in handy, on a few occasions. You do know that running around in Superman Underoos and a towel doesn't make you an _actual_ superhero, right?" she teased him.

"I was six!" Wallace laughed. "Why do I tell you these things?"

"Um, so I can make fun of you?" Veronica asked. _I know I have to tell him. And it's gonna suck. Maybe Snickerdoodles will help soften the blow._ She got up off of the bed, setting her iPod down on the end table. "Alright, I'll do it. For old times sake."

They went into the kitchen, which Veronica was surprised to find empty. "Where is everyone?" she asked.

"Your dad had to run to the office, and my mom went grocery shopping. She took Darrell with her." Wallace clapped his hands once and rubbed them back and forth enthusiastically. "I get _alllll_ the Snickerdoodles to myself."

"We have the place to ourselves? Should we get a keg, throw a party?" Veronica joked. She opened up the pantry, gathering the ingredients that she needed.

"I think you've been spending too much time with Logan," Wallace said.

"Yeah, right." Veronica balanced the sugar on top of the bag of flour and carried it over to the counter. She set them both down and headed over to the refrigerator.

"My mom said he was over here, before?" Wallace asked.

His tone of voice made Veronica look up. "Yeah…" she answered slowly. "Why?"

Wallace shrugged.

When he didn't reply any further, Veronica opened up the fridge, determined not to read into it. She walked over to the island a moment later and set down a carton of eggs and a stick of butter. Wallace was still looking at her thoughtfully. "What?" she pressed. He didn't answer. She rolled her eyes and turned towards the cabinets.

He sighed. "Okay," he began. "You know I don't like to get in the middle of these things. But Piz is my friend, too. And I just feel like I have to ask you- what's up with you and Logan?"

Veronica looked through several cabinets for a mixing bowl, still not familiar with where everything was located in the kitchen. "Huh?" she asked, distracted. "Nothing."

Wallace jumped up onto one of the stools at the island and continued watching her. "So what was he doing here?"

"He gave me a ride because Mac…" Veronica looked up from her search, frowning. "Wait a minute, what exactly do you mean by that?"

"I _mean_…what's going on with you and Logan?" he asked pointedly.

Veronica closed the cabinet door and stood up straight, staring at Wallace. "We're friends," she stated.

"Right. Friends," he said, nodding his head in a way that was starting to make her feel very defensive.

"_Yes_," she said forcefully, crossing her arms. "Friends. Look, it's not always easy, okay? I have a history with Logan that you can't possibly understand. Those…feelings don't just disappear. Life isn't that simple. But I haven't done anything wrong. All I've been doing for the last _two months_ is trying to stay away from him."

Wallace laughed shortly. "Yeah. I could tell you were trying to stay away from him when you guys were talking all night on his birthday, and staring at each other like a couple of lost puppy dogs. Don't think everyone didn't see that." He looked at her, his expression earnest. "How do you think that makes Piz look? It makes him look like a fool, that's how."

Veronica threw up her hands. "Jesus, now I'm not allowed to talk to him, or even _look_ at him?"

"It's the _way_ you look at him, Veronica. The _way _you talk to him. Piz might be too nice to say anything to you about it, but believe me, he notices. And you better believe that it bothers him."

She gave a bitter laugh. "Oh, please, he should talk! You think I don't know about his little crush on Emily? Talk about a double standard. He spent, what, three nights a week over at her house for over a month, and did you ever hear me saying a _word_ about that? Meanwhile, I'm afraid to even call Logan on the _phone_ because I don't want people to take it the _wrong way_. Piz can run around and do whatever he wants, but I have to feel guilty about talking to my _oldest friend_? Because that's what Logan is Wallace- he's my oldest friend in the world."

"Veronica-" Wallace began.

Veronica knew that she was starting to get upset, but she couldn't stop talking. All of the frustration and confusion that had been building up inside of her for the last year was spilling out, unabated.

"He's the only person left who knew Lilly like I did, who actually _grew up_ with me. He's the only one who remembers the first time I snuck out of my house, or the first time I drank champagne… Logan was there when we all got detention for putting itching powder in Miss Jackson's sweater, and the time Lilly made Duncan shave his head because he lost a bet." Veronica felt the hot tears streaming down her cheeks, but she continued. "And I'm not allowed to talk to him because it might get people _upset_? Tell me, how the hell is that fair?"

"Look," Wallace said, his tone gentler. "You're right. I don't know the history. But this isn't about that. This is about now. Piz has been into you since day _one_, you know that. And… I'm not sure that you feel the same way about him that he does about you. Especially when I see you and Logan looking at each other like you need to go get a room somewhere. I mean… _is_ there something going on?"

"Give me a break, Wallace. How can you even ask me that? You _know_ how much I care about Piz! I'd _never_ do anything to hurt him!" Veronica cried, stunned by what her best friend was implying.

"I know you wouldn't. Not intentionally," Wallace said quietly. "I'm just worried about you. I don't want to see you do something that you're going to regret."

Veronica, who was still angry and hurt by his accusations, spoke without thinking. "Maybe _I _shouldn't be the one who you're worried about."

Wallace looked taken aback. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that your little girlfriend is running around on you," she snapped. As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she regretted them. But it was too late to take them back. Shocked with herself, she apologized immediately. "Wallace, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to- This isn't how I wanted to tell you."

Wallace froze, his expression pained. After a moment, he spoke up. "Vanessa's hooking up with someone else?"

Veronica nodded, swallowing hard. "I followed her, this morning. I saw her kissing another guy."

"Damn, Veronica! I _asked _you. Doesn't my privacy mean a damn thing to you?" Wallace demanded. "Why can't you mind your own business for once?"

Veronica wiped her tears away, but they continued to run down her face. "I don't know how to _do_ that Wallace! I don't know how to sit back and watch while the people I love get hurt. If there is _anything _in my power that I can do to stop that from happening, I _am_ going to do it!" She stared at him plaintively, willing him to understand.

Wallace stood up, shooting her a look of disappointment that made her feel a million times worse than his anger. "It's the same crap with you over and over again." He shook his head at her and walked out of the room.

Veronica slid down the cabinets onto the floor, burying her face in her hands as she sobbed.

**xxXxx**

Veronica wasn't sure when Wallace had left; but when she realized that his car was gone, she tried to give him a call. He didn't answer. A few minutes later, she heard the front door open and ran down the stairs. "Wallace?"

Alicia entered the house carrying several bags of groceries. Darrell followed closely behind, saying a quick hello as he bounded up the stairs past Veronica. Backup ran after him. She walked down the steps and took a couple of bags from Alicia. "Here, let me help you. You shouldn't be carrying all of this stuff."

"Thanks," Alicia said gratefully. She and Veronica walked into the kitchen and silently began to put the groceries away. "You can keep the ground beef out. I'm going to use that for the lasagna."

"Okay. Can I do anything to help?" Veronica offered.

"Feel like chopping some vegetables?" Alicia asked.

"Sure." Veronica grabbed the cutting boards and a knife, and Alicia handed her an onion and some peppers. She set about her task diligently, glad to have something to do to distract her.

After a few moments, Alicia spoke up. "Are you okay, Veronica? You look tired."

Veronica paused and looked up. "I am tired," she admitted. "I've sort of been having nightmares, lately."

Alicia nodded, looking thoughtful. "Some people think that nightmares are your subconscious's way of trying to work out the things that your conscious mind doesn't know how to face. Maybe talking to someone would help you?" she suggested gently. When Veronica didn't say anything right away, she continued. "I saw someone after my husband Hank passed away. It helped me."

"I went to a counselor after my friend Lilly died. But it didn't really do anything for me," Veronica said.

"Well, quite a bit has happened in your life since then. You've grown up a lot. Maybe you just weren't ready yet." Alicia smiled at her. "And, of course, _I'm_ always available, if you ever want to talk. As a woman who hasn't always chosen the easy path in life, I may actually have some words of wisdom to offer you."

Veronica swallowed hard, the emotions that were still so close to the surface welling up into her throat again. She couldn't find the words to tell Alicia just how much what she'd said had meant to her. _It's been so long since Mom left. And even before she left, she'd already been gone for years._ Veronica gave Alicia a shaky smile. "Thanks." She got busy chopping up the vegetables again, trying to keep the threatening tears at bay. After a few minutes, she pushed the cutting board towards Alicia. "Is this enough?"

"Yeah, that should be fine. Wallace called me when I was out. He said he can't make it to dinner tonight," Alicia said. "So it'll just be the four of us."

Veronica watched Alicia for a few moments as she walked around the kitchen, pulling pots and pans out of the cabinets and gathering the ingredients that she needed. When Alicia came back to the island with more vegetables to cut up, Veronica looked up at her. "We had a fight," she admitted softly. "Me and Wallace."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Veronica ran her hands through her hair and exhaled heavily. "It was about… a lot of things. I did something that he asked me not to do, but I was just trying to look out for him. And… he kind of accused me of doing something that I didn't do." She shook her head. "He doesn't understand that sometimes it's hard to let go of what's in your heart. Even when you know that the thing you don't want to let go of isn't good for you."

"Are we talking about a man?" Alicia asked.

Veronica nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, I have definitely been in your shoes." Alicia sat down on the stool next to Veronica. "Nathan, Wallace's father, was my first love. Our relationship was… tough." She looked into the distance, eyes unfocused as she remembered. "God, I loved him so much. We were young, then, and everything seemed so much more intense. I felt like I needed to spend every second with him. When things were good, I knew I was the luckiest woman in the world. But every time we fought, I felt like my heart was breaking."

"Sounds familiar," Veronica said quietly.

Alicia put her hand on Veronica's arm. "It's hard to let go of the first one."

_But Logan wasn't the first one, Duncan was… wasn't he?_ Veronica sifted through her feelings and memories about Duncan, trying to recreate the relationship in her mind. _Did I ever actually love him? Yes, I think I did. But I'm not sure that I was ever _in_ love with him. It definitely wasn't anything like how it was with Logan. And what about Piz? I know that I care about him. I know that he means a lot to me. But is it love? Or maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way? Am I just mistaking what Logan and I had… the passion, the emotional roller coaster… for love?_

Veronica shook her head, feeling too worn out and confused to dwell on it any longer. She felt completely exhausted suddenly. She looked back at Alicia, who was still sitting beside her. "Wallace thought Logan and I were… you know, fooling around. But we're not." She felt the tears finally spill over and roll down her cheeks. "I hate fighting with him. I said something so mean…God, I'm screwed up. I think, maybe… Maybe I'm too screwed up to ever be happy."

Alicia leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Veronica. She rubbed her hands in gentle circles on her back. "It's okay, just let it out."

Veronica cried harder than she had in years. _Maybe since that day I saw Lilly lying dead by the pool._ Flashes of events from the last few years ran through her mind- walking through Shelly's house while people laughed at her and muttered nasty things under their breath, talking to Inga the morning she tried to report her rape…

Digging the music box her mother had given her out of the garbage can, holding her head high while Logan asked her how she could still walk after her night with the football team, finding out that her father might not _actually_ be her father, holding Logan as he cried in her arms after his mother died, screaming for her dad while Aaron had her trapped in a refrigerator, surrounded in flames…

Image after image played through her mind, things she normally pushed back into the recesses of her brain so that she didn't have to think about them. Staring at the wreckage of the school bus she'd just been on in the Pacific Ocean below her, almost getting tattooed by Liam Fitzpatrick, saying goodbye to Duncan, listening to Aaron tell her how he'd bashed in Lilly's skull, watching Cassidy step backwards off of the roof-

Alicia pulled away suddenly, snapping her out of her reverie. Veronica wiped her eyes and looked at her, wondering what was wrong. She couldn't place the expression on Alicia's face.

"Is everything okay?" she asked her, starting to get alarmed.

Alicia smiled broadly. "Yeah. Everything is great." She took Veronica's hand and placed it on her stomach. Within seconds, Veronica felt a kick. She moved her hand away, surprised, and looked back at Alicia with a small smile.

"I felt it. That's… amazing."

"That's the first time I've felt the baby kick…" Alicia reached out and rubbed Veronica's arm. "You've had a really hard life, Veronica. But you're a strong young woman, and I know that you're going to be just fine. All of the things that happen in our lives are lessons that we have to learn from. I know sometimes there's a lot all at once. But all you can do is just try and take it day by day. And remember that most of these things that seem so difficult right now- well, in the scheme of things, they're not all that important." Alicia put her own hand on her stomach. "_This_…this is the important stuff."

Veronica nodded. She stood up. "Do you need me to stay and help, or will you be okay without me for a little bit?"

"I'm fine," Alicia answered.

"Do you think I could borrow your car, for about an hour?" Veronica asked.

"Sure," Alicia agreed. "The keys are in my purse. Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find my best friend, so we can all have dinner tonight as a family." She reached over to give Alicia a hug. "Thank you."


	14. A Mixed Bag

**A/N Want to say an ENORMOUS and very heartfelt thank you to everyone who reviewed Chapter 13. It wasn't just the quantity of reviews (although that rocked!) but also the quality. It's exciting to see that the people who have been reading from the beginning are sticking with me, and that quite a few new people have found the story too. Either way, I can't tell you how much all of the support and encouragement has meant to me. We've gotten over 300 reviews! Awesomeness.**

**Special thank you to K.E.M. for her unfailing support and enthusiasm for this story, since the day I told her I was going to write it. There's nothing like obsessing about VM with you over margaritas! You are fabulous, my friend. I love you like Logan loves pillows ;)**

**This is a very, very long chapter. (The longest one yet at 36 pages. It's over 18,000 words.) I had a specific point I wanted to get to, so I just kept writing until I got there. I consider this one to be part of a two-part arc. It will be wrapped up (the arc, not the story itself) in the next chapter, which will be quite a bit shorter. **

**The first part of this chapter is dedicated to boobsnotbombs. Kisses!**

**Chapter 14**

Piz

Piz answered the insistent knock at his door, surprised to find Veronica standing in front of him. He could tell immediately that something was wrong with her. Her eyes were pink and glassy, and there were dark shadows beneath them. She looked like a different person from the girl he'd had breakfast with that morning.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, steering her into the room. He closed the door and turned towards her. "Have you been crying?"

"Yeah," she answered quietly. "It's been kind of a tough day."

Piz reached for her, holding her to him tightly. Seeing Veronica like this was a little astonishing, and he wasn't sure what to do. After a moment, she pulled away.

"Wallace and I got into a fight," she told him. "Have you seen him?"

"Yeah," Piz said. "He was here a little while ago. He told me about Vanessa. I can't _believe _she'd do that to him."

"Do you know where he is now?" Veronica asked. "I'd really like to talk to him."

"He was headed over to Vanessa's," Piz replied. "He said he was going over there to give her a piece of his mind. He should be back soon, if you want to wait."

Veronica nodded. Piz took her hand and led her over to his bed, where they sat down next to each other. He put an arm around her, and she leaned against him slightly. Piz watched her for a minute, as she closed her eyes and exhaled, relaxing into him a little bit more. He wondered what was going on in her head, what she and Wallace had fought about- but he hesitated to ask. It was unnerving to see his strong, unshakable girlfriend so vulnerable.

He knew now that she wasn't perfect; but all those months of believing that she was were hard to shake off. _I know that I_ _put her on a pedestal, in the beginning. And I probably still do. But I'm just as amazed and fascinated by her as I ever was._ Part of her appeal came from the fact that she was still a bit of a mystery to him- but that was part of the problem, too. _I feel like she's holding me at arms length, even when I have both of my arms wrapped around her._ He'd known her for over a year now, and sometimes he felt like they were strangers.

There was a time when he'd felt like they were getting closer. _We did get closer. We got as close as two people can possibly get to each other. But I'm not sure now if it meant the same thing to her as it did to me._ Being with Veronica had been exhilarating. The first time, especially.

_I couldn't sleep from excitement. I watched her as she slept, her arm curled around my waist, for I don't know how long. Minutes, hours, who knows? As I held her in my arms, the knowledge that she was mine- this beautiful, complicated, incredible woman- it was overwhelming. But lately, I feel like those moments are fleeting. It's like I'm trying to hold onto something insubstantial, like smoke, or fog, and it's slowly escaping through my fingers and out onto the wind. And I'm not ready to let it go…_

_It would be so nice to go away together, to get out of Neptune for a little while. Away from the ghosts of her past… especially Logan._ Piz felt like Logan was a constant presence, looming over them. Not just because he was still friends with Veronica, although he was still struggling to accept that. It was because of the _looks_. The looks Mac and Wallace flashed in his direction, every time Logan's name was mentioned- those were bad enough. Worse, far worse, were the looks that Logan gave Veronica… and the looks that she gave him back.

He'd been spared having to see that for a long time. But a few weeks ago, when he and Veronica had walked into her dorm room to find Logan there, talking to Mac… _There it was, all over again. Those damned looks. It's like the two of them share a secret that no one else will ever understand. Just like that day in the cafeteria, last semester._

Veronica still spoke about Logan so rarely. Piz almost wished she'd talk about him more, even just in passing. He knew that she didn't talk about Logan because she didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. But her silence just made his imagination run wild. _Do they sit next to each other in class? What do they talk about? Why did she ask Logan to help her out on that case? What happened the night of the party that Logan and Dick threw? Did they spend the whole night together, talking and laughing? And what about the night of Logan's birthday party?_

He'd been so distracted at Emily's house that night, thinking about the two of them out together. Veronica had asked him if he was okay with her going, of course. He wasn't, but what could he say? He didn't want to look like a jealous douchebag. Besides, he trusted Veronica. It was Logan who he didn't trust. _So I copied that disc for her and her dad. I guess I wanted to be the hero, for once._ _Prove how capable I am, make her proud of me. Instead, I ended up getting mugged. And now it's been weeks since we've slept together… and she feels farther away from me than ever._

Piz was struck with an idea. He pulled away from Veronica, and turned his body so that he was facing her. "Hey, I have a question for you."

"Sure, what's up?" she asked.

"What do you think about having Thanksgiving with me and my family?"

Veronica blinked a few times, giving him a confused smile. "It's less than two weeks away. The plane ticket would cost a fortune."

Piz shrugged. "I can swing it." He couldn't, not really, but he'd figure it out. "I'm leaving next Friday, so you'd have to miss your Monday and Tuesday classes."

Veronica was looking at him with her brow furrowed. "Did you ask your parents if it was okay?"

"No, but I know it'll be fine. They've been dying to meet you. I mean, we'd have to sleep in separate rooms, which sucks. They're not, like, _super_ conservative, but-"

"Piz," Veronica interrupted him. "I'm really sorry, but I can't. This is the first Thanksgiving that we're all spending together as a family. It's really important to my dad and Alicia that I'm there."

"Oh," Piz said. "That makes sense." He tried to smile, but he knew it came off as more of a grimace. Part of him hoped that she'd ask him to come to _her_ house, instead. When she didn't, his disappointment grew.

Veronica took his hand. "But thank you for inviting me."

Piz shrugged. "Yeah, well… I really wanted you to meet my family." He looked down at their hands, at her small fingers linked with his. But Veronica pulled her hand away suddenly; when he glanced up at her, he saw that tears were running down her face. Piz stared at her for a minute, too shocked to react. He'd never seen her cry before.

He felt awful for making her feel guilty, and pulled her into a hug. "Hey, it's okay. It's no big deal. You'll meet them eventually."

Veronica moved away after a moment, wiping her eyes. She looked at him, her expression serious. "I know I've been acting weird, lately."

Piz nodded. "You've been a little… distant."

"Yeah." She sniffled once, and toyed with the diamond on her necklace. Piz had once wondered if Logan had given her that necklace. He'd casually brought it up one day, only to find out that it had been a gift from her friend Lilly. He'd felt like an ass, and tried very hard not to speculate on their relationship from that point on. "There's been a lot going on that I haven't talked to you about. Family stuff, mostly," Veronica continued. "And some other stuff."

"You know you can talk to me about anything," he told her.

"I know. I guess I just feel like you've had enough going on, you know, with getting hurt. And I don't want to lay my problems on you."

"Well, that's what I'm here for right? We're supposed to be there for each other. You were there for me after I got mugged. I want you to trust me, to know you can count on me," he told her sincerely.

Veronica studied him, then cleared her throat. "There's something I want to ask you."

"Okay…"

"Do you have feelings for Emily?"

"What? No," he answered quickly. "I mean, we get along really well, but we're just friends." Veronica had caught him off guard again. Even as he was responding to her question, he knew that his answer wasn't completely true. _But whatever I feel for Emily, and I'm not even sure what that is, Veronica is my girlfriend. She's more important. And I really want everything to be okay with us._

Impulsively, Piz decided to ask her a question of his own. A question that had been on his mind since the very beginning of their relationship. He couldn't quite meet her eye, as he asked. "What about you and Logan? Is it really just a friendship?" His voice broke then, betraying his nervousness. Piz glanced at her, suddenly terrified to hear the answer.

Veronica looked down at her hands. "I would never cheat on you," she said quietly.

"Veronica, that's not what I asked you," he said, his voice harder than he'd intended. Piz waited for a moment, watching her as she continued to look down. When she didn't say anything, he stood up and walked a few steps away. He swallowed the lump in his throat and turned back towards her, crossing his arms. "Well I guess that's my answer."

She finally looked up at him. "No, it's not. Just- "

"Well then what the hell is it with you two?" he demanded, throwing up his hands. "Do you still have feelings for him?"

Veronica looked down again, remaining silent one agonizing moment after the next. Piz watched her as she twisted her hands together in her lap, clenching and unclenching her fingers. He had never seen her look this agitated. Part of him wanted to scream at her, grab her by the shoulders and shake her, force her to answer him. Another part of him wanted to wipe away her tears, and hold her in his arms, and tell her that it didn't matter, because he loved her.

"His friendship is important to me," Veronica finally answered. She looked up at him then, directly in his eyes. "_He's_ important to me."

Piz felt nauseous, now that his fears were finally confirmed. _How important to you? More important to you than I am?_ It was on the tip of his tongue to ask, along with a million other questions. _But I don't think I'm ready to find out those answers. Maybe ignorance really is bliss. God, I'm just like my mother. Insisting everything is fine all of the time, even when it's glaringly obvious that it isn't. _

He had an awful feeling that the conversation was about to take an even more unpleasant turn. _How did we even _get_ here? Just a few minutes ago, I had my arms wrapped around her…_ Piz took a deep breath. "Just tell me one thing, Veronica. Do you still care about me?" He struggled to keep the hurt out of his voice, but he knew that he'd failed miserably.

"_Yes_." Veronica looked at him, tears streaming down her face again. It was breaking his heart to see her cry. "But I think-"

_Don't say it._ "Listen, forget it," he interrupted her quickly. He walked over to his desk and grabbed a tissue, handing it to her as he sat back down on the bed. "I know you've had a shitty day, and you're upset. We can talk about this later."

Veronica exhaled, wiping her tears away with the tissue. After a moment, she nodded. "Maybe that's a good idea. I'm so exhausted right now, I can't even think straight." She gave him a shaky smile. "I've literally been crying all day."

Piz suddenly felt exhausted, too. _Am I just putting off the inevitable? Or is she really just not thinking clearly right now? _He stood up again, nervous energy refusing to let him sit still. _Or am _I _the one who isn't thinking clearly? How will I ever be able to move past the fact that she still has feelings for Logan? _

_And what about what she asked me? What do I really feel for Emily? _Piz turned to face her, one hand on his hip. "Veronica, maybe… maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for us to take it easy for the next couple of weeks, you know? Figure some things out. We can talk when I get back from break."

Veronica glanced up, and the look in her eyes terrified him. She nodded. "Okay."

The door opened before either of them could say anything else, and Wallace entered, looking a bit shaken up himself. He didn't seem surprised to see Veronica there.

Piz cleared his throat. "Hey, Wallace. I'm gonna get out of here, let you two talk." He turned back to Veronica. "If I don't see you, have a good holiday."

She stood up and hugged him, holding him tightly. "You too," she whispered.

The horrible feeling that this was the last time he was going to hold her washed over him. _Everything is changing, and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it._ Piz let go of her abruptly and walked to the door. "See you guys later," he said, without looking at either of them. The door closed with a decisive thud behind him.

**xxXxx**

Wallace

As soon as the door shut behind Piz, Wallace walked over to Veronica and gave her a hug. "I'm so sorry," he told her. She hugged him back, squeezing him tightly. Wallace pulled away from her, a little alarmed by how pale and fragile his best friend looked. Her eyelids were puffy and swollen, and she looked a little shell-shocked. Wallace felt awful for what he'd said to her earlier, for making her cry. "I shouldn't have accused you of messing around on Piz. It's none of my damn business. And besides, I know you better than that."

Veronica shook her head. "I'm the one who stuck her nose in where it didn't belong," she said quietly. "I'm really sorry for getting involved. I should have let it go."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't, so don't even worry about it. I know you were just trying to look out for me. Guess I did that whole 'shooting the messenger' thing the Old Wives warned everyone about, huh?" he asked, trying to make light of it. "I was about to head back over to the house, to apologize." He frowned. "Just had to take care of a little business first."

"How did it go with Vanessa?" she asked quietly.

"I confronted her, and she admitted everything. Turns out she's dating _two_ other guys, besides me. So, yeah. I told her we're done."

"I'm sorry, Wallace. I know how much you liked her," Veronica said sympathetically. She gave him a small smile, a trace of her customary deviousness peeking through. "So how about a little harmless revenge? We could turn all of her clothes bright orange, the next time she does laundry? Replace her shampoo with cooking oil?"

Wallace laughed. He loved that she always had his back, no matter what. "Nah, I think I'm gonna let this one go."

Veronica looked disappointed. "It's been so long. I have so many ideas, just rotting away in my brain."

"Oh, I have no doubt you'll find someone deserving before long." Wallace flopped down onto Piz's bed, sighing heavily. "Man, dating sucks."

"Tell me about it," Veronica agreed softly, sitting down next to him.

Wallace looked up at her, realization dawning. He took in the defeated look in Veronica's eyes and the crumpled tissue in her hand; he remembered the stricken expression on Piz's face when he'd first walked into the room. _Wait a minute. Why did Piz tell her to have a nice holiday? Thanksgiving is still over a week away…_

"Hang on…did you two just break up?" he asked, sitting up straight.

"No, we…" Veronica looked down. "I don't know. I guess we're 'taking a break', whatever that means."

"You okay?"

Veronica took a deep breath. "No. I'm…" She shook her head. "I don't know what I am. Today has been, just…"

"I'm sorry. Was this… your idea?" Wallace asked.

"His, actually." She glanced at Wallace. "And yes, Logan's name came up."

He looked at her, hesitating for a minute before he spoke. "There's something I want to say, but I don't want to get you upset."

Veronica laughed shortly. "I'm pretty sure that concept is out the window, at this point. Lay it on me."

Wallace chose his words carefully. "If things don't work out with Piz, and you really are thinking about getting back together with Logan-"

"I'm not-" Veronica started to protest.

"Just ask yourself-" he continued, undeterred. "Has he really changed?" Wallace knew that he didn't know Logan nearly as well as Veronica did, but first impressions always stuck with him. _Veronica will always be the girl who cut me down off of the flagpole while everyone else laughed at me. And Logan will always be the jackass who smashed up Veronica's car with a crowbar._

Wallace knew there was more to both of them than that, a lot more. He'd seen for himself that Logan was capable of great kindness, especially where Veronica was concerned. _But he's also capable of serious violence. I've seen that firsthand too._ _He got into a fight every other _week _in high school. Then there was the day he made Piz his own personal punching bag- proving that his old motto of punch first, ask questions later was still intact…and that was less than a year ago._

There were other things about Logan that worried Wallace. _He drinks. A lot. And rumor has it, he's slept his way through half of the women on campus. _On top of that, Logan seemed to be drifting through life, not knowing or caring which direction he went in next. Veronica was like a sister to Wallace- his closest friend in the world. He didn't want to see her get involved with Logan, only to get her hopes crushed once again. _I was there the first four times, and it wasn't pretty. Veronica tried to pretend it didn't bother her, but I could see right through her act._

Veronica had been quietly considering Wallace's question. She turned to him, then, straightening a little. "Yes. I think he has changed."

Wallace wasn't surprised by her response. But he'd never understood how Veronica could still have so much faith in Logan. It wasn't that Wallace didn't like Logan- he did like him, almost in spite of himself. But he wasn't entirely sure that he was worthy of Veronica.

Truthfully, he'd never understood how she'd ever been able to forgive him for the way he used to treat her. He'd heard Logan say some truly awful things to her, all with a smile on his face. _It was like he got off on hurting her. Can someone really change that much? _Wallace glanced over at Veronica, who was still looking thoughtful. _I really hope he proves her right. But if she takes him back, she needs to do it with both eyes open._ He took a deep breath. "Look, I think maybe I should tell you- and I don't know if this matters or if it doesn't matter- but… he ended up leaving with someone, the night of his party."

Veronica looked back at him, nodding to herself as she digested that information. Wallace thought she seemed to turn a shade paler, but she didn't look surprised. "Okay," she said, exhaling. "Well, he's single. He has every right to do whatever he chooses. Right?"

Wallace nodded. "Yeah, that's true. Look, I'm not trying to cause problems or anything. It's just… Logan isn't someone you necessarily want to see your sister dating."

To his surprise, Veronica grinned at him. "Even if I'm technically still just your step-sister to be?"

"Yeah, even then," Wallace laughed.

Veronica got up off the bed and pulled Wallace up with her. "C'mon, Bestie, let's go home. I owe you some Snickerdoodles."

**xxXxx**

Logan

Logan sat on the edge of his bed, sipping on a scotch and toying with the slip of paper in his hands. _Another fun-filled Saturday night._ He downed the rest of his scotch and poured a refill from the open bottle on his nightstand. The reality of spending another weekend alone was stretching ahead of him like a bleak landscape. _Dick's at a frat party, Mac's out on some yacht getting laid, and Veronica…_Logan took a long sip of scotch and opened up the drawer of his nightstand.

He set down the slip of paper, and pulled out a framed photo of the two of them that he usually avoided looking at. _We look so goddamned happy in this picture._ They were out on the pier, with the ocean behind them. Veronica had stopped some old tourist with a sunburnt nose, asking him to take their picture. Logan had felt stupid, preparing to force a smile for the camera the way he always had for family pictures growing up. But Veronica had surprised him by kissing him passionately just before the man snapped the picture. She'd turned at the last minute to look at the camera, her laughter forever caught in time. _So there she is, looking pretty damned pleased with herself. And there I am, staring at her in amazement._

Logan put the picture back in the drawer and slammed it shut. He picked the paper up off of his nightstand. _Debi 555-0920. She even refrained from putting a heart over the "I". Impressive._ He took another sip of scotch. _She'd actually been nice to me, Debi. I guess they're all nice to me, at first. I don't think she was faking it, though. _He set his glass down and picked up the phone, but hesitated before dialing.

_Duncan once told me that I use women and alcohol to distract me from my problems; he suggested I take up jogging instead. I guess we all have our own methods. Duncan pops Xanax like candy and pretends everything is sunshine and roses. Dick gets stoned and acts like he doesn't give a shit. Veronica buries herself in work and runs away any time things get too upsetting._ Logan chuckled to himself. _Her way is probably the healthiest._ He took a deep breath, looking back down at the piece of paper in his hands…

_Logan follows the brunette outside, stumbling slightly as he trips over the threshold of the bar. She's walking in front of him, leading the way. He tries to follow her, but she's going in and out of focus; and sometimes, there are two of her. Logan puts his arm around her shoulders to help keep him upright. Debi smiles up at him, taking his gesture for affection._

_They finally reach her car, and she leans against it and looks back up at him. "Ashlee's gonna be so pissed at me," she groans. "Did you see the looks she was giving us?"_

_Logan laughs. "Good." He leans down and kisses her without any fanfare. Her lips are soft, and they taste like Appletini. But it's wrong. It's all wrong. She's too tall, and her hair is too coarse, and she's not holding him the right way. Logan stops and takes a step back, wiping the back of his hand across his lips._

"_What's wrong?" she asks with an uncertain smile._

"_I can't do this," he tells her flatly. "I'm sorry."_

"_Oh. Okay."_

_He can tell she's disappointed, so he gives her the standard line. But he actually means it, for once. "It's not you, really. You've been great."_

"_Is there another girl?" she asks._

"_Yeah," he admits ruefully. "You could say that."_

_Debi shakes her head, but offers him a smile. "Well I hope she knows how lucky she is." She reaches up and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck."_

"_Thanks." Logan watches her as she gets in the car, then impulsively knocks on her window. She rolls it down and gives him a questioning look. "Hey," he says, "do you think you could give me a lift home?"_

_She laughs. "Sure. But only because it's your birthday."_

_Logan gets in the car and they pull away. He stares out the window as they drive, thinking about Veronica. He wishes she would have just said yes when he'd asked her for a kiss, so he could have avoided this charade._

_When they reach the Grand, Debi jots down her number and hands it to him with a very sweet smile. "If it doesn't work out with that girl of yours… give me a call."_

A few months ago, sleeping with Debi would have brought Logan a little bit of comfort. But it wasn't enough, now. Being with other women felt empty, pointless. Because no matter how drunk he got, no matter how hard he tried to pretend, he knew that it wasn't _her_ in his arms. And it just made him feel worse. Logan crumbled up the slip of paper and threw it in the garbage can. He sighed and picked his glass back up off of the nightstand, tossing the phone onto the bed. He'd been doing okay the last few weeks. Being patient, staying the course. Until today, that is, when he'd gone over to her house.

Logan had been completely caught off guard that they'd all wanted him to stay for dinner. He was so used to being the guy who parents didn't want around. _Especially her dad. He probably did fucking _cartwheels_ the day she brought _Piz_ home; but he's not exactly waving his flag in the Logan Echolls parade._ Logan's bitter smile faded as he continued to dwell on what had happened earlier that day.

Seeing Veronica around her family again… it was physically painful how much he wanted to share that part of her life with her. But if he'd stayed there, it would have felt just as false to him as sleeping with an Ashlee or a Debi did. One big game of make believe. Logan didn't want to pretend that everything was okay between them. _Because it's not. Not yet. I want to earn the right to be there, legitimately. As her boyfriend. I know the Mars family is far from perfect, but I can't help wanting to be a part of it._

He suddenly found himself thinking about _Little Women_, of all things. Parker had talked him into watching it one night, last semester. He'd agreed because he'd been trying his best to be the perfect boyfriend. _And because Samantha Mathis is hot._ One line had stood out to him in the movie, a line that Christian Bale's character had said. Something about him always knowing that he was supposed to be a part of the March family.

It had stuck in Logan's head because _he'd_ always wanted to be a part of the Kane's, originally. Sure, they were screwed up. _But everyone looks like a Brady when you're one of the Manson's._ After spending some time with Veronica and Keith Mars, though, he'd realized _that_ was the type of family he was _really_ supposed to be in. Logan guarded that secret jealously. Not even Veronica knew what being part of a real family- _her_ family- meant to him.

His thoughts turned to Charlie, as they inevitably did these days when he thought about family. _I spent my whole childhood wishing I had a brother. Turns out I've had one all along. But he won't even talk to me._ The whole situation was a gigantic mess, and it had been bothering him ever since the day he'd seen Charlie at the ice cream shop. Logan had even considered asking Veronica to do a little digging- find out where he lived, or where he worked, so he could get in touch with him. But ultimately, he'd decided against it. _He'd just shoot me down again. And I've had just about all the rejection that I can take this year. _

Logan became aware of a muffled buzzing noise, and looked around in confusion, trying to follow the source. He realized after a moment that it was his phone, and dug through the rumbled blankets on his bed looking for it. When he finally found it and looked down, he stared at it in surprise. _Missed Call: Veronica._ He saw that she'd left a voice mail and quickly punched in his PIN to listen.

"Hey, Logan. Just proving to you that I really _am_ your friend. See? I'm calling you. It was one of your criteria. I like your inspirational message today, by the way. 'Just do it- Nike'." She laughed into the phone. "Thank you, you have no idea how much I needed that. Anyway, I'm sure you're out somewhere, being that it's Saturday night and all. I just wanted to say hi. So, um, have fun and I'll talk to you soon."

Logan smiled and hit the pound button to save the message. Veronica was calling him for absolutely no reason at all but to say hello. _Not for a favor, or to ask me something…but because she's thinking about me…_ He liked the idea that they'd been thinking about each other at the same time, from a distance. The less than sober part of his brain wondered if somehow, psychically, she'd picked up on his need for her. Logan looked down at the phone, wondering if he should call her back. _Nah,_ _I'm too drunk. I'll probably just say something stupid and ruin it. _

It was still early, but he shut off the light and lay down. After a few moments of staring at the ceiling, Logan reached for his phone in the dark. He punched in a couple of numbers and held the receiver to his ear. "Hey, Logan. Just proving to you that I really _am_ your friend. See?"

**xxXxx**

Veronica

Veronica hung up the phone, still smiling to herself at Logan's inspirational message. _Aside from Wallace, he's the only one who's made me laugh today. And to be fair, Wallace also made me cry- so I think Logan wins. Then again, pretty much everything on the _planet_ has made me cry today. I should just give up at this point. Grab a gallon of ice cream and go watch the Lifetime channel for the rest of the night. Better yet, I can go rent _Steel Magnolia's, Titanic _and _The Notebook_, have a little marathon. _Veronica took a sip of the hot chocolate Alicia had made her. The liquid was warm and soothing on her sore throat. _On second thought, it's probably best if I stay away from movies about relationships._

She didn't want to think about Piz. Every time the memory of their conversation threatened to make its way into the forefront of her mind, she could feel her body tense, her throat begin to tighten. _And I refuse to cry any more today. _Veronica was too tired to put together a cohesive thought; she needed to wait until her head was clear before she could start to process everything. Her mind felt like a murky cesspool. For the first time, she truly understood why some people turned to drugs and alcohol for relief from their pain. _I know that's why Logan drinks. To "quiet his mind", he said. I wish he'd take it easy sometimes, but I can't say I hold it against him. People think he's had it so easy… they have no idea what his life has really been like. _

She finished her hot cocoa and headed into the kitchen. Her dad was in there, washing up the dishes from dinner. Alicia was upstairs putting Darrell to bed, and Wallace had gone back to campus; the house was uncharacteristically quiet. Keith looked up and wordlessly put his hand out to take the mug from her. Veronica handed it to him. "Thanks." She grabbed a towel and began to dry off the dishes that he'd already done. She glanced up at him. "So don't worry about driving me back to the dorm. I'm going to spend the night here."

"Okay, honey," her dad said. He glanced sideways at her. "Not that I'm not delighted to get to spend more time with you, but you know I don't mind giving you a ride."

"I know. But Mac is away, and I just don't feel like being alone tonight," Veronica admitted.

"Everything okay?" Keith asked. His tone was casual, but the concerned look he gave her deceived him. "I noticed you barely ate anything tonight."

"Are you saying I usually eat like a pig?" she asked, deflecting his question.

"Honey, we both know your appetite puts most lumberjacks to shame," he said affectionately. His expression grew serious. "You haven't seemed like yourself all day. Do you want to talk about it?"

Veronica stayed silent for a minute, continuing to dry the dishes as he handed them off to her. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Have you been thinking about Mom?" he asked gently.

She shrugged. "Among other things."

"I've met with her a few times. To finalize the divorce. She asked about you again," he told her.

Veronica opened and then closed her mouth. She put down the pot she'd just dried and cleared her throat. "Where is she living?"

"Over in Depuma. Sunrise Condos," Keith answered.

She looked up at him. "What do you think I should do?"

Keith shut off the faucet and turned to her. "Honestly, I think that you should meet with her. But not for her. I think it might be good for _you_, to hear her apologize. To get some closure." He put his hand on her shoulder. "But there's no wrong choice here. You have to do what you feel is right."

"Yeah," Veronica said vaguely.

Her father kissed her on the forehead and turned the faucet back on, continuing his task. Veronica stared out the window, looking at the moon and wondering if her life would ever get any less complicated.

**xxXxx**

Mac

The following day, Mac walked down the hallway towards her room in a happy daze_. I know I'm smiling to myself like a big weirdo, but I can't help it. _She opened the door to the room and stepped inside, shutting it quietly behind her. Mac leaned against the door and closed her eyes, allowing the scenes from the previous night to play through her mind. She felt as though her blood were carbonated, like she might float away at any moment. _Like Charlie and his grandpa after they drank the Fizzy Lifting Drink._

"And _that_ is the face of a very satisfied customer."

Mac opened her eyes to see Veronica sitting on her bed, a knowing smile on her face. Mac laughed, embarrassed to hear it come out as more of a giggle. "Yeah, you could say that." She tossed her purse and duffel bag onto her bed and walked over to her friend.

Veronica put the copy of _Wuthering Heights_ she'd been reading down and pulled her legs up so that Mac could sit next to her. "Okay, anyone who can make you look like _that_ gets my vote. I'm officially on Team Casey."

Mac grinned at her. "Yeah, me too." She sighed. "The only problem is, I have to study for my _World History_ test tomorrow, and there's, like, zero chance I can concentrate right now."

"You could always cheat off of Logan," Veronica joked.

"Hmm. He _does_ owe me a favor," Mac mused.

"Okay, well I've had an extraordi_narily_ crappy weekend, so I think I deserve some details here."

"Uh-oh, what happened?" Mac asked. She noticed then how pale and drawn Veronica's face was, and saw that there were faint shadows under her friend's eyes.

"Oh no, we're not talking about me right now," Veronica deflected. "C'mon, let's hear it. What was the boat like?"

"Awesome. He hired a chef who specializes in vegetarian food, and it was freaking amazing. We drank champagne, and listened to music, and looked at the stars…" Mac sighed happily.

"And you escorted him into the twenty-first century?" Veronica asked pointedly.

"I sure as hell did," Mac replied. She knew she was blushing, but she grinned. "Several times."

"That's my girl," Veronica said, slapping her five.

Mac shook her head. "He was… amazing. I seriously didn't know it could be like that."

Veronica smiled, but her expression was suddenly far away. She blinked after a moment and looked back at Mac. "Well you deserve it, my friend."

"Thanks. It's crazy, in some ways it feels like this thing with us is moving so fast. But in other ways…" Mac shrugged. "I don't know. It feels really natural. I even invited him to spend Thanksgiving with my family." Mac had spontaneously decided to invite Casey that morning, as they'd lain next to each other. But saying it out loud, she was struck with the sudden fear that he would have nothing in common with her parents, nothing to talk about. _He's so different from them… are they going to get along? _A new thought occurred to Mac, one that she wasn't entirely proud of._ I hope they don't do anything to embarrass me. He'd probably fit in a lot better with my other family. With the Sinclair's. _

"Wow," Veronica said, looking down. "That's, uh, pretty serious."

"Well, Casey isn't that close with his parents," Mac explained. "And my mom has been driving me _nuts _about finally meeting him."

Veronica cleared her throat. "Then it sounds like a good idea."

"Do you think it's too soon?" Mac asked, picking up on her tone.

"No, not at all," Veronica said, shaking her head vigorously. "I'm just wishing I-" She paused for a second and then continued. "Piz invited me to spend the week in Oregon. But the idea of meeting the family- it kind of, you know, freaked me out a little bit."

Mac looked at her carefully. She got the distinct impression that there was more to the story. "How long have you guys been together now?"

"Uh… around seven months?"

"That's a pretty long time," Mac pointed out tentatively. "You haven't met his parents yet?"

"No. I guess it is awhile. But we _were_ apart for three of those months. And it's not like they're local. I mean, he's met my dad." Veronica shook her head. "I'm not sure it matters now, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing." Veronica bit her lower lip. "I really _can't_ go, it's not just the whole 'meeting the family' thing. My dad and Alicia would be heartbroken if I wasn't there for our first Thanksgiving at the house. I think it's important that I stay home."

"Totally," Mac agreed. "New traditions and all."

"Exactly."

**xxXxx**

Wallace

The next afternoon, Wallace met up with Mac and Veronica after their morning classes. It was a standing lunch date on Mondays and Wednesdays; Piz usually joined them, but he was conspicuously absent today. Wallace noticed that Veronica only took a few bites of her grilled cheese, then spent the rest of the meal tearing it into little pieces. Mac kept flashing Wallace concerned looks, but she didn't say anything. The two of them made small talk while Veronica stayed largely silent.

Veronica stood up and pushed her chair in. "I'm gonna grab a coffee, anyone need anything?"

Wallace and Mac both shook their heads in response, and she walked away. As soon as she was out of earshot, Mac turned to Wallace. "Okay, you _have_ to tell me- what the hell is up with Veronica? And don't say 'nothing'. I know there's something going on."

He took a quick bite of his pizza, miming that his mouth was full and he couldn't answer. Mac sighed and rolled her eyes at him. Wallace swallowed his food and shook his head. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm sworn to secrecy."

"You two are worse than the freaking mafia with your code of silence." She glanced around the food court until her eyes focused on something that made her brow furrow. Mac stared for a moment, confusion slowly turning to understanding. She turned back to Wallace. "Why is Piz sitting over at that table by himself?"

He glanced up to see his roommate listening to his iPod and eating a burger. Wallace felt awful that Piz was eating alone. He looked at Mac and shrugged, not sure what to say.

"Well if you don't know, then I'll just tell him to come sit with us," Mac said, her voice unnaturally high as she feigned ignorance.

"I wouldn't do that," he warned.

"And why not?" Mac asked, raising an eyebrow.

Wallace sighed. "Okay, fine. You win." He leaned closer to her and lowered his voice. "They're taking some time apart."

Mac frowned. "Is Veronica okay? Why didn't she want me to know?"

"She didn't want to bring you down. She said she wanted you to be able to talk about Casey without worrying that it was upsetting her," Wallace explained.

He glanced back over at Piz. For the first time, it really hit him how much everything would change between all of them if Veronica and Piz's break became permanent. _Things are gonna get pretty uncomfortable. Especially if she starts dating Logan again._ He couldn't imagine a scenario where all of them would be able to hang out together as friends, if that happened. The thought made him a little sad.

Wallace had been surprised when Piz and Veronica had gotten together in the first place; he'd been even more surprised when they'd stayed together. He knew Veronica well enough to see that she still had feelings for Logan. _At least, in the beginning._ He hadn't thought Piz and Veronica's relationship would make it through their summer apart. But they'd outlasted his expectations. _And by the time the new semester started, they'd actually seemed pretty solid._

The first time he'd seen Veronica and Logan together since school started back up was at Mac's birthday party. They'd seemed to be getting along fine, but he hadn't seen anything that had concerned him. Piz was there that night, and Veronica had spent most of the night talking to him. But by Logan's birthday party, he'd noticed a major difference.

When he'd seen them talking at the bar that night, he'd noticed an intimacy between them that had almost made him feel as though he should look away. _Like I was peeking through a window, spying on something private_. Wallace knew that if he'd asked any stranger at the bar that night, they would have identified the two of them as a couple. It wasn't because they were kissing, or even touching- there was none of that. He'd sat back and watched Logan and Veronica for a moment, wondering what it was about them that gave off that vibe.

It had taken him a few minutes to figure out, but then it had come to him. It was the way that their bodies seemed to ebb and flow together. They would lean forward at the same time, lean backward at the same time. They sipped their drinks, laughed, even scratched their faces in unison. They were mirror images.

Wallace was certain neither one of them was aware of it. But seeing them together that night had sent off alarm bells in his head. Piz was a really good guy, and a good friend. And while Wallace knew that Veronica would never _intentionally_ hurt him, he also knew that she was going to end up breaking Piz's heart. Because whatever was going on with her and Logan, it was far more serious than he'd ever imagined- and it made that outcome inevitable.

He was sure that it was only a matter of time before they would succumb to what was clearly a very strong attraction to each other. And Wallace was worried what that would mean for Veronica. He'd known that she'd never be able to live with herself if she'd cheated on Piz. So he'd called her out on it. _But I never meant to accuse her of acting on her feelings. I just couldn't believe how blind she was to what was right in front of her. Plus, I had my own concerns about Vanessa; I probably let some of my suspicions about her get tangled up in my argument with Veronica. And that wasn't fair. _

Mac had followed his gaze to where Piz was sitting. "How's he doing?"

Wallace shrugged. "I don't know. He asked me if she told me what was going on. I said that she did, and he just said okay. He hasn't said a word about it since then. I guess he doesn't want to put me in the middle. Or maybe he knows that I'm pretty much always gonna be on her side."

Mac looked back at Wallace. "Does Logan know yet?"

"I have no idea. It's probably best if you don't mention it though. If she wants him to know, she'll tell him," Wallace said.

Mac nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Man, being in the middle sucks."

"You're telling me." Wallace glanced back over at Piz. "Alright, I gotta go over there. I feel bad for the guy, sitting all by himself like that. Can you tell Veronica that-"

"Tony? _Tony_? Dude, what's wrong?"

Wallace looked over at the table next to him to see a blond guy standing over a kid with spiky black hair. The kid with black hair was holding his hands to his throat and getting paler by the second. The blond kid was starting to freak out, clearly unsure what was going on or what he should do. "Tony! _Tony_!"

Wallace stood up, knocking his chair over in his hurry to get over to the other table. "Call 911!" he yelled to Mac. He turned back quickly to the black-haired kid. "Are you choking?"

Tony shook his head rapidly and gestured to his throat. Wallace noticed blotchy pink bumps had broken out all over his face. "Are you having an allergic reaction?" he asked. Tony nodded frantically. He was starting to turn purple.

Wallace ran over to his table for his backpack and reached into the inside pocket. He pulled an EpiPen out and took it out of its case as he rushed back over to Tony. He snapped off the cap and quickly jabbed it into Tony's thigh, counting to ten as he held it down. Within seconds, the color in Tony's face started to return to normal, and Wallace heard him gasping for breath. He looked like he was trying to say something, but Wallace stopped him. "Just take it easy, man. You're okay. You're gonna be fine."

He noticed that Mac and Veronica had joined him at the table. Mac was still on her phone, talking to the dispatcher. Veronica was looking at Wallace with pride. She made her way over to him, shaking her head slowly. "How did you know it was an allergy?"

"Same thing happens to me when I get stung by a bee. I've been carrying one of those things around with me since I was eleven," he told her.

Tony's breathing was starting to return to normal. "Thank you," he said shakily. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," Wallace said, a little embarrassed. He suddenly became aware that every person in the food court was now gathered around the table. He saw Piz standing on the outskirts, looking concerned. Wallace waved at him to let him know everything was okay, and Piz nodded and walked back to his table.

"They're on their way," Mac spoke up, still on the phone. "He needs to go to the hospital."

"Do you know what set off your reaction?" Veronica asked Tony.

He shook his head, looking dazed. "No idea. I was just having some chicken fried rice. I've eaten it, like, a million times here."

"Is there anything you know that you're allergic to?" she asked.

"Well, yeah. Peanuts. But that can't be it," he answered, looking confused.

"How come?" Wallace asked.

"Because," Veronica said, affecting a British accent, "while peanut oil is quite popular in Cantonese cuisine, it's not often found in the Hearst 'peanut-free' Cafeteria."

"Make a hole people, thank you." Two paramedics rushed over then and took over. Wallace informed one of them that he'd given Tony an epinephrine shot, and they told him that he'd probably saved his life. Tony thanked him again and they hurried him out of the food court.

Veronica turned to Wallace with a big smile. "You really _are_ a superhero."

"Told you."

She laughed, but her expression soon turned thoughtful. Wallace recognized the calculating look on her face. "What?" he asked suspiciously.

"I hate to always assume the worst of people, but… I'm pretty sure that wasn't an accident," she told him.

"What?" Mac said incredulously. "Why do you say that?"

Veronica gestured for both of them to follow her over to the table where Tony had been sitting. It was empty now, but the remainder of his lunch was still sitting there. "Take a whiff."

Wallace leaned down, and the smell of peanuts was unmistakable. Mac did the same. They both turned to Veronica. "Good nose, Holmes," Wallace said. "But who done it?"

"That's what I intend to find out," Veronica said determinedly.

**xxXxx**

Veronica

Veronica scrolled through the files on her computer, waiting for something to jump out at her. _There has to be something here; some connection._ She opened up her notebook and flipped through it until she found the list of names that she'd written down.

After the paramedics had taken Tony to the hospital, she'd headed over to _Dragon House_, the new Chinese food restaurant that had opened up in the food court that semester. Just as the manager was assuring her that they absolutely _never_ used peanut products in their restaurant, Veronica opened up a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of peanut oil. The manager was shocked, and insisted she had no idea how that could have gotten there. Veronica had taken down the names of all of the employees who worked there, including the manager.

She'd managed to track down the blond kid, Steven, who'd been sitting with Tony at lunch. He'd provided her with more information about Tony, including his last name and where he lived. Veronica had buried herself in the case since then, trying to find out if there was any reason why someone wanted to hurt, or possibly even kill him.

_And absolutely nothing about Tony stands out._ By all accounts, he was a good student, a good friend… a really nice guy. Veronica sat back in her chair with a sigh, rubbing her eyes. She was well aware that she was using this case as an excuse not to think about everything going on in her life. So far, it had been working like a charm. _But if I hit a dead end, then what?_

Veronica was struck with a sudden idea. She typed the name "Anthony Pinkman" into the search engine, and then one by one, typed in the name of each employee. _If there's a connection, maybe Google can find it for me. _When she typed in "Sarah Dunham", it returned one result that looked promising.

She clicked on the article, scanning it quickly. There were no pictures. _But if this is the same Sarah who works at _Dragon House_, it looks like she and Tony went to the same high school in New York._ _That can't be a coincidence. _Veronica looked at what she'd written next to Sarah's name in her notebook. "Seems upset. Only one who asked if Tony was going to be okay."

Satisfied that she was finally getting somewhere, Veronica closed her notebook and looked at her watch. Then she grabbed her bag and a jacket and headed out the door.

**xxXxx**

An hour later, she sat in her car, staring at a dark blue door. She'd been alternating between staring at that door and reading _Wuthering Heights_ for the last half hour. Veronica preferred watching the door. She knew she had to read the book, for her Lit class, but she was finding it difficult to get through. Not because it wasn't well-written and interesting, but because of the subject matter. Certain passages were jumping out at her, making her very uncomfortable.

"_Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."_

Veronica sighed and looked back towards the door, but there was nothing there to distract her. She continued reading, getting wrapped up in the story despite herself.

"_My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished and_ he _remained,_ I _should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. _

"_My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I_ am_ Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."_

She put the book down and took a deep breath. _I'm over-identifying with these characters because of my own romantic drama. Logan is _not_ Heathcliff, Piz is _not_ Edgar Linton, and I am certainly _not_ Catherine. Why did Professor Jayne assign this book right now? Is she purposely trying to drive me insane?_ Veronica caught movement out of the corner of her eye and looked back towards the door.

A blonde woman was making her way up the stairs, carrying a brown paper bag. _Groceries? Or booze? _Veronica put her fingers on the handle of her car door, but she didn't open it. Instead, she watched the woman as she attempted to put her key in the lock; she dropped her keys on the ground twice before she was able to get the door open. Veronica sighed and took her hand off of the door handle. _Booze._

Veronica watched her mother disappear through the dark blue door, bitter disappointment coursing through her. _Dad told me she was the same. What exactly was I expecting? _She glanced around her, taking in the carefully landscaped grounds and the view of the ocean beyond. _This place is really nice; how can she even afford to live here? It's three in the afternoon on a weekday, and she's at home, drinking. She can't possibly be holding down a job._

Sighing heavily, she tossed her book onto the passenger seat and started up the car. She quickly pulled out of the parking lot of the Sunrise Condos and headed towards the entrance to the freeway. Veronica wasn't just disappointed, she was seething with anger; and she suddenly felt like screaming at the top of her lungs.

"_I wish I were out of doors! I wish I were a girl again, half savage and hardy, and free; and laughing at injuries, not maddening under them! Why am I so changed? Why does my blood rush into a hell of tumult at a few words? I'm sure I should be myself were I once more among the heather on those hills."_

**xxXxx**

Logan

Logan had asked Veronica what was wrong- once, a couple of days earlier. Her makeup was doing a poor job concealing the dark circles under her eyes, and he could tell by the prominence of her cheekbones that she was losing weight. But when she'd forced a smile and told him that she was fine, he'd dropped it. _I know I can't make her tell me a damn thing if she doesn't want to. She knows I'm here, if she wants to talk. That's all I can do. I just hope that whatever is going on isn't too serious._

But despite his promise not to push, he couldn't help being worried about her. As they sat in class on Thursday afternoon, waiting for everyone else to arrive, he watched her silently. She was much quieter than normal. Although she'd greeted him with a smile, when she'd first walked into the classroom, she'd spent the last several minutes flipping through a small notebook. He recognized it as the same one she'd used when they'd gone to Professor Hawkins house.

"So, you working on anything interesting?" he finally said.

"I got to play Cupid for once," she replied, glancing up at him. "But it was for Ratner, so that kind of cheapens it." Veronica smirked, but it quickly turned into a frown. She closed her notebook and slipped it back into her bag. "I wish all of my cases had a happy ending. The new one seems to be business as usual."

Logan noticed that Veronica seemed uncomfortable, so his quip about "happy endings" went unsaid. His curiosity was piqued, but he kept his voice casual as he asked, "Can you talk about it?"

"Well, no one technically hired me, so…yeah, I guess I can." The classroom was filling up with people, so she leaned closer to him and lowered her voice. "Did you hear about what happened in the food court the other day, the kid whose throat closed up?"

"Are you kidding? That's all anyone has been talking about. Wallace is quite the hero. I wouldn't be surprised if people started writing folk songs about him, put up a statue."

Veronica laughed. "Don't give him any ideas. Well I was there when it happened, and long story short, it wasn't an accident. Someone who knows that Tony has a peanut allergy put peanut oil in his food."

"Wow. Isn't that, like, attempted murder?" Logan didn't want to say what he was really thinking. _That the case sounds dangerous, and I don't want her anywhere near it._

Veronica bit her lip. "Well, not if the person didn't realize what would happen."

Logan looked at her carefully. "You know who did it, don't you?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "I think I do."

"But you haven't said anything yet. How come?"

She shrugged. "I just… she doesn't seem like the type. I can only think of one reason why she'd do it, and it doesn't make any sense."

"What's the reason?"

"Passion. Vengeance. Love. _Wuthering Heights_ has it all, folks- including more drama than a daytime soap opera," Professor Jayne said. "Which, I think, pretty much proves that what we find entertaining hasn't changed all that much in the last hundred and fifty years. By now you should all be about halfway through the book. What does everyone think so far?"

A few hands went up, and Logan leaned back in his seat to listen.

Professor Jayne called on a curly-haired brunette who sat a few rows in front of him. "I know it's supposed to be this big, romantic love story, but I just don't understand what Catherine sees in Heathcliff. He's just- mean. And violent. He has nothing to offer her. Why can't she see how lucky she is to have Edgar? He loves her, and all he wants is for her to be happy."

Logan smirked and shook his head.

"Mr. Echolls?" Professor Jayne asked. "A counter point?"

He shrugged, acutely aware of the fact that he now had an audience. Logan rarely spoke up in this class. "Well it's obvious that Edgar can't make her happy. Catherine can pretend to be a part of their- society, or whatever, but it's all a lie. She's wild, and passionate, just like Heathcliff. Edgar is weak. Flat. Catherine is with him because it's easy and it's safe. She knows that he'll do whatever she wants, because she has him wrapped around her little finger. But they have nothing in common, and he doesn't understand her true nature at all."

Logan glanced at Veronica, who was listening to him with interest. When their eyes locked, he continued, speaking directly to her. "Only Heathcliff understands who she really is."

"But Edgar _loves_ her," the brunette argued. Logan forced himself to look away from Veronica, so he could focus his attention back on the class. The girl continued. "He's trying to pull her away from the violent, reckless part of her nature. He's trying to give her a better life. But Heathcliff keeps coming around, trying to screw everything up."

"Why wouldn't he?" Logan countered. "He's in love with her. And Edgar is too stupid to realize what a bad idea it is to let him into their house."

Professor Jayne chuckled. "On that point I would agree with you, Logan. Although Edgar does eventually realize his mistake." She flipped through her book. "You can all follow along on page 153, as Edgar addresses Heathcliff. _'I have been so far forbearing with you, sir,' he said quietly; 'not that I was ignorant of your miserable, degraded character, but I felt you were only partly responsible for that; and Catherine wishing to keep up your acquaintance, I acquiesced- foolishly. Your presence is a moral poison that would contaminate the most virtuous.'"_

She looked up at them. "Edgar admits that he was a fool to allow Catherine and Heathcliff to continue spending time together. He feels that Heathcliff has corrupted her. Edgar also acknowledges that the abuse that Heathcliff suffered as a child may be at least partially to blame for the adult that he's become."

Logan looked down, not wanting to get called on for a follow up question on this particular point.

"This raises an interesting question about how a person's character is formed," Professor Jayne continued. "As we continue reading, and you begin to see Heathcliff becoming more cruel, I'd like you to think about this. Should we look upon this cruelty as part of his nature? Or should we be more forgiving of Heathcliff's actions when we take into consideration the neglect, isolation and abuse of his upbringing?"

**xxXxx**

Logan felt distracted and moody when class ended. The subject matter had hit a bit too close to home today. _Am I destined to turn hard like my old man because of what I've been through? What he put me through?_ He shoved his books into his backpack roughly and looked up to see that Veronica was waiting for him. She was looking at him with concern, and she seemed a little shaken up herself. He knew the similarities between their situation and the characters in the book hadn't been completely lost on her, either.

They walked out of the classroom together and into the hallway, pausing just outside of the door as was their habit. Veronica leaned against the wall and looked up at him. "So what are your plans for the holiday?" she asked. "Another surf trip with Dick?"

"Uh, no. Dick's actually spending Thanksgiving with his mom and his step-dad this year, in Tahoe."

"You're not going with him?"

"Nah. He invited me, but I wasn't in the mood for a weekend of his mom's disapproving looks. Seems she thinks I'm a bad influence on her sweet little boy," he smirked.

"Ha! That's a laugh."

"If she only knew. It's okay though. I actually have other plans."

Veronica hesitated before she asked, but Logan knew that she'd ask. "What are your plans?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Veronica looked slightly alarmed at his reply, and he laughed. "Relax. I'm not involved in a plot to assassinate Sheriff Van Lowe or anything."

"Well, that's a disappointment. So you're just not going to tell me then?" she asked.

Logan let her stew for half a minute before he answered her. "All right, I'll tell you. But this will seriously tarnish my reputation as a bad boy."

"I'm intrigued."

"I'm, uh, volunteering at the Neptune Food Bank," he told her. Veronica's eyes widened in surprise, as he'd expected. _She'd be really shocked if she knew this is actually my third year volunteering._

The first time, during senior year of high school, had been completely impulsive. His father was in jail, Trina was off filming some B movie in Vancouver, and his house had just burned down. Duncan was spending the holiday with his family in Napa; unsurprisingly, Logan hadn't been invited to join them.

He'd found himself wandering down Pacific Avenue, looking for something to do, when a frizzy-haired woman in a flannel shirt had handed him a flyer. She'd given him the kindest smile. A half hour later, he was wearing a scratchy apron and dishing out mashed potatoes.

The second time, he'd just made bail after a round of batting practice with a cop car. _I needed to pay a little visit to my buddies Mercer and Moe._ By the time Lamb came back into the cell, Mercer was missing two teeth, Moe couldn't open his left eye and blood was still dripping from Logan's knuckles. Logan was sure that cell would now be his home for the holidays. It was obvious what had happened, and even Lamb wasn't that thick.

But Mercer and Moe had refused to talk. And for some inexplicable reason, Lamb had let it go. Logan was never sure how Cliff had managed it, but all he'd wound up with after that stunt was a sizable fine and fifty hours of community service. His first five were spent volunteering, once again, at the Neptune Food Bank.

This year, he hadn't thought twice about it. It was sort of tradition, at this point. He'd signed up two weeks ago.

"Well, I'm impressed," Veronica replied, without a hint of sarcasm. She looked at him for a moment as she toyed with her necklace. "When are you going over there?"

"I start at four," he said, wondering why she'd asked.

"We're doing dinner early, around two. Why don't you come over?" Veronica offered. She tilted her head and smiled at him. "I mean you have to eat, right?"

Logan was going to decline- for the exact same reasons that he'd declined dinner there last weekend. But his mind starting running, and he hesitated. He looked down at Veronica, who was still smiling at him, waiting for his reply. The idea of spending the holiday with her and her family, eating an _actual_ turkey dinner, was incredibly enticing. _It's been so long…_

Growing up, his dad had inevitably been on set for the holidays. So his mom would throw some type of catered charity function. When he was little, he'd follow her around as she spoke with her guests, uncomfortable in the dressy clothes he had to wear. Trina would eagerly talk to the "industry" people, trying even then to get her name out there.

When Logan got a little older, he'd sneak drinks into the pool house and wait for Lilly to get done with whatever Celeste had planned for the Kane's that year. The one year he could remember the four of them actually sitting down together, he'd been thirteen years old. That was the years his mom had decided to make everything herself…

_His mother is beaming with pride; Logan hasn't seen her look this happy in years. She has been working hard all day, and they have just sat down for dinner. She waits to eat, wanting to hear what everyone thinks- especially Aaron. _

_Logan is quick to compliment her, and Trina surprises him by agreeing that everything is delicious. Aaron takes a bite of the sweet potatoes and makes a face. Logan glances at his mom; he can tell instantly that she's seen Aaron's expression. _

_The sweet potatoes were Lynn's mothers' recipe, and she'd spent fifteen minutes telling Logan how excited she was about them earlier that day. She pours herself a glass of wine and takes a long sip, as she regards Aaron over the top of her glass. "Do you not like the sweet potatoes?"_

_Aaron smiles at her, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "They're a bit too sweet, my dear."_

_Lynn takes another sip of wine. "And the stuffing?" she asks calmly._

_Aaron puts down his fork. "Do you want me to be honest?"_

"_Please."_

"_It's terrible." He laughs shortly and looks at Trina for guaranteed support. "I mean, am I right? I think, next year, we should leave this to the professionals."_

"_I think everything is really good, Mom," Logan speaks up. She smiles gratefully at him. He looks back at his father, his voice hard. "I wouldn't change a_ thing_."_

"_Well lucky for all of us,_ you _are not in charge here," his father says with a warning glint in his eye. "Now. Why don't we have Leticia clear this off, and we can all order a pizza?"_

"_No," Logan says, looking Aaron in the eye. "_Some _of us are enjoying it." His voice comes out calm, but his heart is racing. He spends almost every waking hour trying to avoid confrontation with his father; now, he's seeking it out. _

_He knows that Aaron won't do anything to him while they're sitting at the table- not in front of Trina. He enjoys his role of "Daddy" far too much to jeopardize his status as her idol. Logan is banking on the fact that his father won't want to do anything to tarnish that golden image that he covets so much._

_Aaron fixes his stare on his son. "Logan, why don't you join me in the kitchen for a moment." His voice is pleasant, but his eyes are cold. Reptilian._

_Logan stands up without a word and follows him into the kitchen, silently preparing himself for what's to come. He takes a deep breath and clenches his jaw. As soon as they enter the kitchen, Aaron spins him around and punches him directly in the face. _He's madder than I thought_, Logan thinks calmly as he hears a sickening crunch. Aaron usually avoids hitting him in the face for this very reason. His nose is broken again; this inevitably leads to questions._

_He leans heavily against the kitchen counter, the pain washing over him in waves. Aaron hands him a few pieces of rolled up paper towel for the blood; it's soaked through in minutes._

"_Lay down on the floor," Aaron instructs him._

_Logan does as he's told. He knows the drill. Aaron puts his fingers on either side of his nose and tells him to exhale. He feels sudden pressure, and more pain; his nose is reset. It's a skill his father picked up as an amateur boxer- it's come in handy on several occasions. _

_Aaron heads over to the freezer and pulls out a bag of frozen strawberries. He tosses the bag to Logan, and his son catches it and places it gingerly against his nose. He wants it to heal just as quickly as Aaron does. He's already wondering which excuse to use this time._

_His father walks over to him and lays his hand on his shoulder. He squeezes it in a way Logan guesses is supposed to be affectionate. "You've got a smart mouth, son," he says, wagging his index finger in front of his face. "You need to learn that children are meant to be _seen_, not heard."_

_Logan can't keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "Thanks, Pop."_ _He follows his father back to the dining room and takes his seat at the table._

_Aaron smiles broadly at his wife, who's already pouring herself a fresh glass of wine. "Our son has got to be the clumsiest little boy on the planet. He just slipped and fell_ directly _into the corner of the island."_

_Lynn turns to Logan, a smile on her lips but her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Are you okay honey?"_

"_I'm fine," he says, setting the bag of frozen strawberries down. His nose isn't the only thing that feels numb._

_Trina laughs. "Little brother, you are the biggest klutz I've ever seen."_

_Logan wonders if she really is that clueless, or if she just doesn't care._

"_Well, klutz or no klutz, Logan made me see the error of my ways. Now let's all enjoy this… _delicious _meal that Mom was nice enough to prepare for us."_

_Logan stares at his dad, almost admiring how quickly Aaron slips back into his role of loving husband and father. He tries to take a bite of food- he really had been enjoying it- but he's fighting back nausea from the pain._

"_Now, Logan," his father says, "You were the one who insisted we continue this meal. You're barely eating a thing over there." Aaron smiles at his son, but his words are pointed. "I think you owe it to your mother to _finish your plate_."_

I hate him. I hate him. I fucking hate him._ Logan takes a small bite of sweet potato. But all he can taste now is blood. _

_Lilly meets him in the pool house later that night. Logan has confiscated a bottle of whiskey, and he's already so drunk that he can't see straight. He tells her some bullshit story about tripping over the diving board that he knows she doesn't believe. Lilly is surprisingly sweet to him all night. Although she normally hates it when he gets this wasted, this time, she doesn't say a word about it._

_She offers to spend the night with him in the pool house, so that he doesn't have to be alone. They both know she'll get grounded for not coming home, but Lilly doesn't even mention that. Instead, she puts on a movie, and lets him curl up against her, and strokes his hair until he falls asleep._

_Logan spends the following Thanksgiving at the Kane's. That may have become the new tradition- but by the year after that, Lilly is dead…_

Logan suddenly remembered that Veronica had called that night, and that he'd stopped Lilly from inviting her over. He hadn't wanted her to see him like that. Veronica was the only one who'd always looked at him without a hint of pity in her eyes, and that meant something to him. Logan looked at her now, as he slowly came back to the present. He saw something in her expression, a mixture of hope and sadness, that made it almost impossible to resist her.

"Darrell won't stop talking about you," she spoke up. "And Alicia is an unbelievable cook. Wallace and Darrell convinced her to make something they call Slammin' Mashed Potatoes. All I know it there's bacon involved." She was talking in a rush, as though she were concerned that he'd say no.

Logan crossed his arms and smiled down at her. "Well it _is_ hard to pass up bacon." It occurred to him suddenly that Piz might be there, and he cleared his throat. "So, will there be a ton of people there?"

Veronica laughed. "Don't worry, you won't be forced to make awkward small talk with elderly aunts and uncles. It's just us."

Logan nodded. _I know I might regret this…but fuck it._ "Okay, I'm in. Thanks for the invite. Really, it means a lot."

She smiled, looking genuinely pleased. "Good. So, is it too late to sign up to volunteer?"

"Uh, no," Logan answered, surprised. "They can always use an extra hand. Do you want their number?"

"Yeah, I think I do."

Logan flipped through his wallet until he found a business card. "That's Elisa's number. She's the one who organizes all of the volunteers. Give her a call, she'll be psyched."

Veronica took the card and slipped it into her wallet. "Thanks. Well I better get going. I've got to go study for a test. See you around." She turned away, but a second later turned back to him. "I'm really glad you can make it."

"Yeah," Logan replied with a smile. "Me too."

**xxXxx**

Piz

"Fuck," Piz muttered under his breath. It was Friday afternoon, and he was in _Jazz Ensemble_. He was trying to play guitar for the first time since he'd sprained his wrist, but his fingers weren't cooperating and he kept screwing up his chord changes. Piz was distracted. _It's been one of the shittiest weeks of my life, and I just want to get the hell out of here. _He'd spent all week avoiding Veronica, which inadvertently meant avoiding Mac and Wallace. And he'd barely spoken to anyone else in days. Piz was set to take a plane home later that afternoon, and it couldn't come fast enough.

"Why so glum, chum?"

Piz looked up to see Emily's smiling face. He looked back down at his guitar, pretending to be busy tuning it. He'd told himself that he'd use this time apart from Veronica to try and figure out what it was that felt for Emily. _But I still have no idea. I miss Veronica so much that I can't think straight._ He'd avoided talking to Emily during their class Wednesday by engaging Professor Derhak in a long, involved conversation about drug use among musicians. It was a subject his professor felt passionately about. But Piz knew that wouldn't work twice in a row.

He shrugged and glanced back up at her. "Nothing. Just been a crappy week."

"Hmm. Nice shirt," she said, pointing at his chest. "Too bad they totally sucked after '67."

Piz glanced down, not sure what he was wearing. It was a _Pink Floyd_ t-shirt. He stared at Emily in horror. "Are you kidding?"

"Most over-rated band _ever_," she answered matter-of-factly.

"You're insane," Piz replied, shaking his head at her. "You're short, and you're insane."

"David Gilmour was the worst thing to ever happen to that band."

"Um, have you ever heard of a little album called _Dark Side of the Moon_?" he asked incredulously, turning to face her completely. "Which just happens to be one of the top five best albums _ever made_?"

Emily burst out laughing. "Gotcha."

"Huh?"

"I'm fucking with you, Piz," she said with a mischievous grin.

He stared at her for a minute, smiling despite himself. "And this was supposed to make my crappy week better?"

"Exactly. You're not sitting there all mopey anymore, are you?" Emily countered, raising an eyebrow. She sat down in the chair next to him. "So. Tell me what's going on."

"It's just… stuff with my girlfriend."

Emily nodded, her bright green eyes studying him intently. "You guys get into a fight or something?"

"Not exactly. We're kind of, you know, taking some time apart." Piz scratched his head, distinctly uncomfortable under her scrutiny. "It's sort of complicated."

"Do you know what this means?" she asked him.

"What?"

"That it's time for the music portion of your Emo test."

Piz rolled his eyes. "And how exactly is that supposed to help?"

Emily smiled. "It'll tell us how you should proceed with your relationship."

"Fine," he sighed, although he was smiling. "Lay it on me."

"Do you own any of the following bands' albums:_ Dashboard Confessional_?"

"Yes."

"_My Chemical Romance_?"

"Yes."

"_Muse_?"

"Absolutely not."

"_The Shins_?"

"The Shins are _not_ Emo," he disagreed adamantly.

"I beg to differ. Have you ever been to a _Shins_ concert? You'd be swimming in skinny jeans."

"What the hell do jeans have to do with-" he began.

"_Weezer_?" Emily interrupted.

"I make no apologies for _Weezer_. They're awesome."

"And, the pinnacle of everything Emo: _Coheed and Cambria_?"

"Yes," he muttered. "I like music, okay? Why does listening to a particular band mean that you get, like, pigeonholed into a certain personality type or group? I like Sarah McLachlan and Ani DiFranco, too. Are you saying that makes me a lesbian?"

"I don't know," she laughed. "Are you a lesbian?

Piz smirked at her. "Well, that was bracing. So let me guess- the results mean that I'm a big, whining baby, and I need to suck it up and stop complaining?"

"Well," Emily began, "while it is true that you have a marked tendency towards Emo-ocity, it seems clear that-"

"Oh shut up," he laughed, knowing that she was just spouting bullshit at this point.

"Okay kids, have a nice holiday," Professor Derhak spoke up. "A word of advice: avoid the bar scene the night before Thanksgiving. It's nothing but trouble, just waiting to happen. Get drunk at home with your folks instead."

Piz glanced at Emily, who was hiding a smile. Their professor was a constant source of amusement. They put their instruments back in their cases and headed out of the classroom. "So," she said. "I, uh, hope things work out with you and Veronica."

"Yeah, me too." Piz cleared his throat. "I'm not gonna see you next week, so… have a good holiday." Impulsively, he reached over and gave her a hug.

She put her arms around him and squeezed him tightly. "You too," she said quietly.

Piz realized that their hug was going on too long to be appropriate; but he couldn't seem to pull away. _Her hair smells amazing._ He closed his eyes, resting his cheek against the top of her head for a moment. It felt so good to have contact with someone, after spending so much time alone. _But __I shouldn't be feeling like _this_. She's supposed to be my friend, nothing more._ Piz stepped back abruptly. He gave Emily a brief smile. "I better go. I have a plane to catch."

"Yeah," she said, not returning his smile. "See ya."

Before he had a chance to walk away, she turned and walked quickly down the hallway herself. He continued to watch her until she turned a corner. _Great. I think things just got even more complicated._

**xxXxx**

Veronica 

The following day, Veronica knocked on the door to room 209 at Sullivan Hall. After a moment, a tall girl with a blonde pixie haircut opened the door. When she saw who it was, her face fell.

"Hi, Sarah," Veronica said. "I think you know why I'm here."

Sarah nodded, looking miserable. "Come in."

Veronica walked in, glancing briefly around the room to see that they were alone. She leaned against the desk and turned back to Sarah. "Let me cut to the chase. You were the one who put the peanut oil in Tony's lunch."

"Yes," she whispered.

"You knew he was allergic because you saw his medical file. Aside from working at _Dragon House_, you also work part time at the campus health center."

"Yes."

"You've known Tony for years. The two of you went to the same high school together in New York."

Sarah swallowed hard and nodded.

"You're in love with him."

Sarah's eyes welled up with tears and she nodded again.

"But by all accounts, the two of you never dated."

"No," the girl finally spoke up, tears spilling over. "I'm pretty sure he doesn't know I exist."

"So why try and kill him?" Veronica asked. "If you can't have him, no one can?"

"No!" Sarah denied, shaking her head. "I didn't want to kill him! I didn't even want to hurt him." She sat down on the edge of her bed and sighed. "I've known Tony for five years. We went to the same high school, like you said. And he was just- amazing. The sweetest, nicest guy in the whole school. I've been in love with him since I was fifteen. When I heard he was going to Hearst, I-"

She paused and gave Veronica a rueful smile. "I pulled a Felicity, and followed him across the country. I thought- I don't know what I thought. That he'd see me, and recognize me from high school, and we'd become friends. And then, once he got to know me…" She shook her head. "We've been here for over two years now. I've had six classes with him. He's come into the health center a dozen times. He orders from _Dragon House_ almost every day…"

"And he still doesn't know who you are," Veronica stated.

Sarah shook her head. "Not a clue. I was doing filing at the center a couple of weeks ago, and I decided to peek at his chart. That's when I got the idea. I'd slip something in his lunch so he'd have a reaction, and then I'd swoop in and save him with my EpiPen." She looked at Veronica, her face pale. "But it didn't happen like that at all. I had no idea his throat would close up, I swear! And it happened so quickly. By the time I got over there, that kid Wallace had already helped him. Thank god."

Veronica studied her face. _She's telling the truth. She didn't want to hurt him._ "But I don't understand," she spoke up. "Why don't you just talk to him? I mean, if you're in love with him, why go through this whole charade? Why don't you just _tell_ him?"

"I don't know," Sarah said. "I guess, maybe I think… if I don't tell him, the dream stays alive in my mind. You know? That one day he'll really _see_ me. But if I tell him, and he rejects me… Then what do I have?"

Veronica opened her mouth and closed it, considering what she'd said. Before she could respond, Sarah spoke up.

"Are you going to turn me in?" she asked softly.

Veronica knew she should. _What she did was dangerous- he could have gotten killed._ But when she saw the defeated look in Sarah's eye, she hesitated. _It was an accident. She was reckless, and stupid, but… she's in love. _She felt something stirring in her mind, something demanding to be addressed. But once again, she pushed the thought away. Veronica stood up straight and looked at Sarah. "No. I'm not going to say a word."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you _so_ much. I've felt awful these last few days, you have no idea. I was so worried about him, and then I thought I'd get expelled, and-"

"Okay," Veronica cut her off. "Just don't ever do something like this again. _Ever_."

"I won't," Sarah promised sincerely.

Veronica walked to the door, but she paused with her hand on the knob. "And, for the record, I think you should talk to Tony. He might surprise you."

**xxXxx**

An hour later, Veronica sat in her car, staring at a dark blue door. She wasn't sure what she was doing back here again. She'd been driving to the house; but when she'd seen the sign for Depuma on the freeway, she'd kept going north instead of getting off at her exit. _So here I am again_.

She didn't really expect to see anything. So when a black Mercedes pulled up, she didn't pay too much attention. That is, until she saw Jake Kane getting out of the drivers seat. Veronica sat up straight, watching his every move. He was clean-shaven, she noticed, and wearing a suit. _He probably told Celeste he had work to do at the office, so he could get away._

He shut his car door and walked quickly up the stairs, stopping in front of the dark blue door. Jake knocked a couple of times, and her mother opened it. Lianne smiled brightly up at him, and he bent down and kissed her. Her mother wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into the apartment. The door swung shut behind them.

Veronica continued staring. _Why am I surprised by this? It's just business as usual for the two of them._ _Well, I guess this explains how Mom can afford to live here. Dad must know. He would have been suspicious about that, just like me. I'm sure he followed up on it. _She looked out the window of her car, shaking her head. _She's never going to change. Not ever._ _Logan was right. She's weak. And _she's_ the one who doesn't deserve _us_, not the other way around._

_Why didn't the two of them just stay together in the first place? They would have avoided a lot of heartache. They never let go of their feelings for each other, and look at how many people have gotten hurt because of it._ _Why did she even marry Dad? I mean, it's obvious that she never got over Jake. Why would she even bother pretending that she… _

_Oh my god._ Veronica stared at her reflection in the glass, stunned. _When did I turn into my mother?_

**xxXxx**

Twenty minutes later, Veronica sat down cross-legged on the sand at Crescent Beach, watching the waves. Her mind was racing. All of the thoughts she'd been pushing away for weeks, for months, were rushing towards her at once. She flashed back to her conversation with Piz.

"_Well then what the hell is it with you two? Do you still have feelings for him?"_

Veronica had sat there on Piz's bed, her head swollen with swirling thoughts. She'd been exhausted, and confused. But amidst the storm, the answer had come to her, so simple and clear.

_Yes. _

In that moment she'd known, with absolute certainty, that what she'd shared with Logan hadn't just been some fling. It hadn't just been some schoolgirl crush. It had been love, deep and abiding. And no matter how hard she'd tried to push those feelings away, or to pretend that they'd never existed in the first place, they had remained. _I still love him, more than ever before._

So, Veronica had begun to gather up her strength. She'd known exactly what she needed to say to Piz. She'd tell him that she was sorry, and that she'd never meant to hurt him, and that it wasn't fair for her to stay in a relationship with him while she still had these feelings for Logan. She had even started speaking.

But Piz had stopped her, asking her to take some time to think. He hadn't seemed ready to have that conversation; and Veronica's emotions were running so high that she wasn't sure she could even trust her own feelings. So she'd agreed to take some time._ Because __Piz deserves that consideration. I owe him that much._ She'd been mentally and physically exhausted, that day, and she cared too much about him to end their relationship without being sure that she was even thinking clearly.

She snapped back to the present as a seagull landed right in front of her. _And then I spent all week distracting myself, so I wouldn't have to admit the truth._ Because the truth was, if Piz had asked her to choose between her relationship with him and her friendship with Logan, she would have chosen Logan. _But he would never ask me to make that choice. So what now?_ _What is it that I feel for Piz?_

_I know that I care about him. I know that I trust him- he's one of the few people that I really _do_ trust. He's not perfect. But given the choice between doing the right thing and the wrong thing, he'd do the right thing pretty much every time. He makes me feel good about myself. It's nice to have someone think so highly of me, for a change. But maybe… maybe I hesitated to show him certain sides of myself, because I didn't want to ruin that image he had of me. _

_I did. I held back with him. I never let him in, not completely. I was too afraid of getting hurt. The question is, can I let him in now? Can I love him? He's an incredible person. I _should_ love him already…_ Veronica picked up a handful of sand and let it sift through her fingers. _I do love him. But it's the way I loved Duncan. Not the way I loved Logan- the way I still do. _

_There's something missing; an indefinable element that just isn't there. I'll never love Piz that way. How could I, with Logan around? He's a constant reminder of what love really means to me. And all I do is think about him. _

Her thoughts traveled back to her mother, and what she'd just witnessed at the Sunrise Condos.

_Mom couldn't have Jake, the man she loved. So she'd found the next best thing: a man who loved her. A decent man, someone who would take care of her. Someone who would make her laugh, and treat her well, and who wouldn't break her heart- Dad. She didn't do it maliciously. She probably convinced herself that she would fall in love with him, eventually. Because he was a good guy, and because he loved her so much. But she couldn't. Her heart still belonged to Jake. Just like mine still belongs to Logan._

Veronica looked around her. _The first time I worked up the courage to tell Logan how I really felt about him, we were lying down on this very spot. He had a blanket wrapped around us, and I felt so close to him. Even then, even when we were still together, I was terrified to admit my feelings…_

"_I love you, Logan."_

_He smiles up at her, eyes dark with emotion. "Well it's about time." Logan pulls her down on top of him, wrapping both of his arms around her tightly as they kiss. Veronica puts all of her feeling into that kiss, trying to make him understand exactly what he means to her. She knows that she keeps her emotions carefully guarded, even with him. But it's time to let go. Logan has told her that he loves her so many times; and he needs to know that she loves him back._

"_Tell me…" Logan says between kisses, "why you love me." _

_She kisses his cheek, and then the tip of his nose. "It's the car. Yellow is my favorite color. Which is also why Big Bird is my favorite _Sesame Street_ character."_

"_Veronica."_

_She smiles and looks into his eyes. "Yes?" she asks innocently._

_He raises an eyebrow at her and holds her up by her shoulders so she can't distract him with kisses. "Without the sarcasm, this time."_

_She takes a breath, exhaling slowly. _If I'm going to do this, I should at least do it right._ "Because you're _you_. You're smart, and funny, and generous. I don't know. You make me happy. And I always feel safe with you." _

_Logan suddenly pulls her back down, kissing her over and over, until she is breathless. Veronica feels his hands running up her back, beneath her shirt, and then she realizes that he's slowly lifting her shirt up. She breaks the kiss and looks down at him, tugging her shirt back down. "Logan," she laughs, "it's _way_ too cold out here for that."_

_He tilts his head up and playfully bites her earlobe. "I'll keep you warm," he promises. His lips wander down to her neck as he plants soft kisses all the way down to her collarbone. _

"_Logan…" she says warningly._

_He stops kissing her and rolls his eyes. "Fine," he sighs. "But you're going to have to make it up to me when we get back to the hotel."_

"_Oh, I'll make it worth the wait," she whispers in his ear, running her hand along his inner thigh._

_Logan groans. "You're killing me."_

_She laughs and kisses him on the lips. "Well then find me somewhere warm, and I'll consider it."_

_He lifts his body slightly off the ground and looks around, finally nodding to a house up on the bluff. "I could give the people in that house a couple of thousand to let us borrow it for an hour." _

"_Somehow I don't think the people in _that_ house are hurting for cash," she laughs. "Nor do I think they'd be the sort willing to rent their house out by the hour like it's some cheap motel." Veronica lets her eyes wander over to the bluff, and the tone of her voice changes. "I've always loved that house, actually."_

_Logan glances back over at it. "Really? I thought your tastes would run more traditional."_

_She looks back down at him. "And what exactly about me says traditional?"_

_He laughs. "True enough. Well you asked for somewhere warm, but you don't think my bribe will work on the nice people in the house. So, being that yellow is your favorite color, that only leaves one option."_

"_The car?" she asks with a resigned sigh._

"_The car," Logan confirms with a devious grin. He scoops her up off the beach, blanket and all, and walks them over to the parking lot…_

Veronica picked a small grey shell up off the sand and ran her finger along its smooth inside. _No, what I feel for Piz doesn't even come close to what I feel for Logan. That connection, that spark, that physical attraction. I thought our relationship would be better off without all of that turmoil- that _I'd_ be better off. But it turns out that I can't live without it. _

_So there's only one thing I can do. As soon as Piz gets home, I need to end things with him._ Veronica tossed the shell away from her, feeling an incredible weight off her mind, now that she'd made a decision. _Because no matter what, I am _not_ going to end up like my mother._

_I guess this means that I'm too screwed up for a normal relationship. And I might be alone for the rest of my life because of it. Unless… _Veronica lay down on the sand and closed her eyes. _Unless, somehow, Logan and I can figure out a way to make it work. But can I put myself through that again? Can I put _him_ through that again?_

She opened her eyes, staring up at the pale blue sky above. _I don't even know how he feels about me, not really. Sometimes, I see a look in his eyes that makes me wonder, but…he's so hard to read. He's made concealing his emotions an art form, even more than I have. _Veronica stood up and brushed the sand off of her pants. _I can't think about this right now. I haven't even officially ended things with Piz yet._

Veronica looked back out at the ocean, thinking about how hard that conversation was going to be. _At least he's not in love with me. That'll make things easier. And I know he denied it, but I think he does feel something for Emily. I really hope this goes smoothly, and we can stay friends. I know I don't deserve his friendship, but I really don't want to lose it. It may take some time, but I hope that he can eventually forgive me for what I've put him through. And for what I have to do._

**A/N I think you all know me well enough by now to know that writing this took me on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Switching back and forth between so many POV's made me a little dizzy at times. (It was especially hard going from Logan to Piz- those two are polar opposites. I wrote the Logan Thanksgiving flashback and the Piz/Emily scene back to back- talk about a 180.) But, ultimately, I'm satisfied with the results. Please review! :)**


	15. Thanksgiving

**A/N Okay, so I lied. This chapter isn't shorter than the last one. It's longer.**

**The response to the last chapter was overwhelming and a little humbling. I love you guys, I really do. So this one goes out to everyone who has taken the time to review or message me from the beginning. You've been insightful, impatient, funny, skeptical, and above all, enthusiastic. I love it all. You guys make it worth the effort. Enjoy! :)**

**Chapter 15**

Keith

Veronica walked into the kitchen and hopped up onto one of the stools at the island. Her eyes lit up when she saw the array of cheese and crackers that Alicia had just finished arranging onto a tray. She leaned forward to grab one, but her father deftly moved the tray out of her reach.

"I was only going to eat _one_," she insisted, holding up an index finger.

"You and I both know that you can't be trusted around cheddar cheese. Let's give everyone else a chance, kiddo. Besides, we don't want Logan to think we're uncivilized, with our half-eaten trays of appetizers," Keith smirked at her.

Veronica stuck her tongue out at him. "Well, he just called. He said he'll be here in about ten minutes. So if you're seriously denying your _only daughter_ one measly piece of cheese until then, at least I don't have long to wait."

Keith laughed, secretly pleased to see that Veronica's appetite had returned. _As well as her sense of humor._ He'd been very concerned about her for the past few weeks. Aside from looking tired and worn out, she hadn't been acting like herself lately. She'd been quiet and a little withdrawn. Keith respected her privacy, but he'd made up his mind to talk to her today if he didn't see a change. _But she seems to be back to her old self again._

As he looked at his daughter, the smile faded from her face and her voice became serious. "Listen, Dad… I know he's not your favorite person, and I know I didn't ask before I invited him, but can you please just… be nice to Logan?"

Keith gave her a withering look. "Honey, do you really think you have to ask me that? He's a guest in our home." He set the tray of crackers down on the counter, safely out of Veronica's reach. "Besides," he continued, his voice innocent, "I quite like Logan. What makes you think otherwise?"

"Um, are you kidding me?" she asked. Veronica rolled her eyes at him and walked back into the living room.

Keith leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. _I _do_ like Logan. I like him even more now that he's not sleeping with my daughter anymore. _He grabbed two crackers and a piece of cheese off of the plate and made himself a mini sandwich, but didn't take a bite. _I guess I never thought about him one way or the other, before they dated. He seemed like a nice enough kid. I had to give him a ride home a couple of times when he'd had too much to drink, but that's pretty typical for the rich teenage son of a couple of movie stars._

_He landed pretty firmly on my radar, though, once I found out that Veronica had been dating him. Worse, she'd been hiding it from me. I didn't even need to do a background check; all I had to do was open a tabloid. Bum fights, partying, trouble in school… And then, of course, there were his parents. Aaron was unfaithful, Lynn leaked the information about his infidelity to reporters out of spite… and then she jumped off the Coronado Bridge. I wasn't thrilled that Veronica gave Logan a second chance after what Aaron put us through, but I couldn't exactly blame him for the faults of his parents._

_I can't say I wasn't relieved, though, when she broke it off with him that summer. Things got pretty ugly after that. Aaron was in jail, Logan was arrested for murder for the second time, his house burned down… and it was clearly arson… What if Veronica had been inside? The kid attracts trouble. And if our old lamp is any indication, Logan lets his temper get the better of him sometimes. On top of that, he was the one responsible for destroying the evidence of Aaron and Lilly's affair… and he had an affair of his own, with a married woman. All of this before he'd even turned eighteen. Clearly _not_ someone who I wanted around my daughter- not then, anyway._

Keith finally took a bite of his cracker sandwich, chewing it slowly as he continued to dwell on Logan Echolls. _And yet he keeps turning up, like a bad penny. Just when I think he's out of her life, she tells me that they're dating again. Then they break up, and I know that she's miserable inside, but she pretends she's fine…Eventually, she really does seem to be fine. She moves on, dates someone else… Here I thought she was happy with Stosh. But now it looks like the cycle might be starting all over again._

He turned towards Alicia, who was stirring something in a big pot on the stove. "So what do you think it means that Logan is coming over here today? I'm afraid to ask."

Alicia covered the pot and turned to look at him, but she didn't say anything. She just gave him a secretive little smile.

"You know something, don't you?"

"Maybe."

"Well? What's going on?" he asked impatiently.

"Are you asking me to betray her confidence? _You_, the model of discretion and integrity?" she teased him.

He sighed. "Why are all of the women in my life so infuriating?"

"At least we keep you guessing, sweetheart," Alicia said.

"Are you implying that they're going to get back together again?" Keith asked, sighing heavily. "That I should prepare for the worst?"

"I wouldn't phrase it that way. I just think you should keep an open mind. Let go of old impressions." Alicia gave him a kiss on the cheek on her way to the refrigerator. "Give the boy a second chance. He might surprise you." She took a bowl full of dip and a tray of cut up vegetables out of the fridge and headed into the living room.

Keith grabbed another cracker, carefully arranging the remaining ones so that Veronica wouldn't notice. _I'm not entirely sure why, but it's clear that Logan means something to her. Whatever the reason, maybe I do need to accept the possibility that he'll always be a part of her life._ He took a bite of his cracker, chewing slowly. _It's not that I don't see _some_ good qualities in him. I appreciate his sense of humor. And I guess I kind of like the fact that he's never really tried to kiss up to me. He doesn't make apologies for who he is, but he owns up to his mistakes._

_And there's no question that he's devoted to Veronica. He's been there for her time after time. He was there the night that she thought I'd been killed. Sleeping on the couch, thank god. He brought her home safe to me after she got drugged last semester- and he wouldn't leave her side all night. Logan has proven that he's capable of taking care of her. As strange as it seems, I never worried about her when they were together- at least, not for the last couple of years. I knew that he'd never let anything bad happen to her, if he could help it._ _Veronica doesn't even know what he ended up doing to the two kids who drugged her. But I do._

Keith frowned. _Lamb told me one of the kids swallowed a couple of his own teeth, and the other one couldn't open his eye for days. I don't like that he's capable of that kind of violence._ He absently reached for another cracker. _But on the other hand, he made sure they'd never lay another hand on my daughter again. I can't argue with that logic. And it certainly showed that he was willing to risk his own neck- both physically and legally- for Veronica. They weren't even dating at the time._

Alicia came back into the kitchen then, and he straightened up. "Keith Mars, get your hands _out_ of my cheese and crackers. You're worse than Wallace and Veronica put together."

Keith stuffed the cracker into his mouth, destroying the evidence. He heard a knock on the door and knew that Logan had arrived. He brushed the crumbs off of his shirt and quickly rearranged the cheese and crackers on the tray. Alicia shook her head at him and went back to opening up a bottle of wine.

Veronica and Logan entered the kitchen a few minutes later. To Keith's surprise, Logan was holding a bouquet of flowers, which he held out to Alicia when she turned around. She accepted them with a bright smile. "Thank you, Logan, that was so thoughtful of you. Mmm, I love mums. Let me go find a vase." She headed out of the kitchen, giving Keith a pointed look on her way out. He turned to Logan and smiled.

"Good to see you again, Logan."

"Thanks for having me, Mr. Mars."

Keith glanced at his daughter, who was watching their interaction nervously. He looked back at Logan. "We've known each other a long time, Logan. Call me Keith."

"Okay," Logan said, giving him a nod and a tentative smile.

Keith could see the look of surprise Veronica shot him out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't turn towards her.

Alicia walked back in then with a vase and ran some water from the tap. She set the bouquet in the vase and looked at it with approval. "They're beautiful. So," she asked Logan, "would you like a glass of wine?"

Logan glanced at Keith. "Uh, thanks, but I'm still underage."

"Good answer," Keith said.

Alicia made a face at Keith. "My mother was Italian, and we were _always_ allowed to have a glass of wine with dinner growing up." She turned back to Logan. "So would you like a glass?"

"Thanks. But I need to drive pretty soon, so I better not."

"Another good answer," Keith approved. He grinned at his daughter as he addressed Logan. "Did Veronica prep you before you got here?"

Veronica glared at him briefly, then turned to Logan. "Hey, you should tell them what we're doing later." Keith heard something in her voice that he couldn't quite place.

Logan shrugged and didn't say anything.

"Is this _modesty_?" Veronica teased him. "From _you_? Surely this is one of the signs of the apocalypse."

Logan rolled his eyes at her. "We're, uh, volunteering at the Neptune Food Bank. Just helping dish out dinner, it's no big deal."

"Wow," Veronica said. "_We?_ You really are being modest." She turned to Keith and Alicia. "Logan was the one who signed up. I just asked him if I could tag along." He recognized the note in her voice this time- it was pride.

Keith was truly surprised. _Somehow, when I think about people volunteering at a soup kitchen, Logan Echolls doesn't quite come to mind._ But he could see by the look on the young man's face that he was entirely serious about it, and Keith was duly impressed.

Logan shrugged again. "My mom always drilled it into me, how important charity work was. You know, giving back."

"Did she work with the Neptune Food Bank?" Alicia asked.

A small smile spread across Logan's face. "Uh, no, actually."

Keith noticed that Veronica was watching him carefully, a calculating look on her face. When Logan didn't elaborate, she put her hand on his arm. "Well, come on, there are snacks! And I still have to give you the tour." Veronica led Logan into the living room.

"Don't fill up too much," Alicia called after them. "Dinner is soon!"

Keith picked up the cheese and cracker tray off of the counter and followed them out of the room. _I'm not spying_, he convinced himself. _I'm just trying to figure out what the deal is with them. Prepare myself for the future._

Veronica was pointing at something in Logan's hand. "Is that present for me?"

"It's for Darrell, actually," he corrected her dryly. "I thought the Spiderman wrapping paper might have clued you in. It's an early Christmas present."

"So where's _my_ present?" she asked.

"My _presence_ is your present." He smirked at her. "You see what I did there?"

"Hmpf."

Keith smiled to himself as he watched them together, surreptitiously setting the tray down on the coffee table. Wallace looked up from the game, immediately helping himself to a half dozen pieces of cheese and crackers. Keith sat down on his chair, which gave him a good view of both the football game and the foyer where they were standing.

He glanced back over at them; Veronica was making a face at Logan and he was laughing. _They certainly do like to push each others buttons. Logan knows how to get to her, and there are very few people who can claim that ability. As much as I love her, even _I _have to admit that Veronica's a tough nut to crack. Yet Logan seems to be able to get under that thick shell of hers just fine._

In fact, Keith was pretty sure that the one and only time Veronica hadn't answered "Yeah, I'm fine", when he'd asked her if she was doing okay, was the last time that she'd broken up with Logan. _"No," she'd said. "No, no, no, no, no."_ _And maybe that's not such a bad thing. For a girl who's so emotionally guarded, maybe it's good for her to get a little shaken up from time to time._

Darrell came bounding down the stairs then, Backup close on his heels. "Hey, Logan!"

"Hey." Logan handed him the present. "Here. To broaden your horizons."

Darrell tore the paper off the present excitedly. "Megatron! This is awesome. Thanks!" He plopped down on the living room floor and started to open up the box.

Wallace came over and sat down next to his brother, helping him get the packaging open. He studied the back of the box as he opened it. "Uh, this looks kind of complicated."

Logan and Veronica both took a seat on the floor next to Wallace, leaning over him to take a look at what needed to be done.

"Here, let me see that," Logan said. Wallace handed the robot to him, and Logan turned to Veronica with a smile. "I'm kind of awesome at this."

"How awesome?" Veronica challenged him.

"So awesome that they named an airport after me."

"Yeah, well they named a whole _planet_ after me, so suck it," she countered, reaching for the Transformer.

Logan laughed and easily held it out of her reach. He lifted his arm up, and Veronica tugged at his sleeve, exposing his forearm. Keith caught sight of a pair of circular, dime-sized scars on Logan's arm that made his smile disappear. Keith stared at him, grateful that Logan was too distracted to notice. The pieces were suddenly falling into place in his mind. _I've seen this a dozen times._ _Scars like that only come from one thing. Cigar burns._

Keith turned back to the television. The Packers scored a touchdown, tying up the game, but he barely noticed. _How could I have missed this? There were so many clues… Logan almost always wears long sleeves, even when it's hot out. Why did that never stand out to me? I even remember Veronica mentioning how much school he missed, when they were kids. She and Lilly always joked about what a klutz he was- but how big of a klutz can you be if you're a surfer?_

_And Lynn… there was that time years ago when I went to pick up Veronica and Lilly from Logan's house. I noticed she had a bruise under one eye, and I asked her if she was okay. She told me she'd had a fender bender; she went on and on about how embarrassed she was about the whole thing- how she'd tried to cover it up with makeup so the paparazzi wouldn't notice. She was a better actor than people gave her credit for. _I_ bought it. God, I'm an idiot. _

At the time, Keith hadn't had any reason to suspect Aaron of abuse. _He was nothing but pleasant to me, every time we interacted. I had no idea what his true nature was back then._ _But after we found out about Lilly, and after the night he put me in the hospital- why didn't I put two and two together then?_ Keith looked back at Logan; he'd let Veronica have the robot, and was studying the diagram with Wallace. For the first time, it really hit him just how much Logan had been through in his young life.

_Aaron was an awful, violent man- and strong. If he focused that rage on Logan and Lynn, I can't even imagine the kind of physical damage that he would have done. Not to mention the psychological damage. Logan's father slept with and then killed his first girlfriend. I saw with my own eyes how much that still affects him. His mother committed suicide. His sister's a leach and his biological brother, to my knowledge, still wants no contact with him. He's all alone._

Keith stared at the television. The Lions quarterback threw an interception, and the Packers ran it back for another touchdown. The announcers were discussing it enthusiastically, but he couldn't focus on the game. _I always pride myself on giving people the benefit of the doubt. But I wrote Logan off as little more than a spoiled, cocky troublemaker years ago. No wonder Veronica always got defensive with me, when his name came up. No wonder she never invited him to do things with us. It was her way of protecting him. _After a few minutes, Keith went back to watching the four kids working together.

"Okay, if a mechanical engineering major is having trouble doing this, how the hell do they expect an eight year old to do it?" Veronica demanded.

"Seriously," Wallace agreed. He turned to Logan. "The old ones transformed in like three moves, remember?"

Logan nodded distractedly, looking from the diagram and back to the robot. "Are we on step seven or eight?" he asked.

"Remind me again- how awesome are you at this?" Veronica teased him.

"No, you guys are doing it wrong," Darrell spoke up. He took the robot from Veronica and within minutes he had it halfway transformed. "See, Logan? You have to put the feet down first so you can twist his legs together."

Keith chuckled to himself. _I have to say, Logan seems surprisingly well-adjusted, all things considered. There's no doubt in my mind that he's better off, now that Aaron is out of his life for good. And he does seem to be maturing. I never thought he'd make it through a full semester of college, and here he is on his second year. Maybe there's more to Logan than meets the eye._

Darrell finished transforming Megatron into a spaceship, and the three older kids looked at each other and started to laugh.

"Maybe you really do need to change majors," Veronica joked with Wallace.

"I'm thinking about it, actually," he told her.

"Really?" Logan asked, leaning back onto his hands. "What do you want to change it to?"

Wallace shrugged. "I'm kind of thinking about teaching. I really loved working with those kids over the summer. I'm just not sure what I'd want my concentration to be in yet. And I might not be able to graduate on time if I change now."

"There's nothing wrong with the five year program," Logan said. "Half the people at Hearst are doing that."

"Yeah, the half that parties all week and sleeps through their classes," Veronica said.

"Right. The fun half," Logan smirked at her. He turned back to Wallace. "You were in Uganda last summer, right?"

"Yeah, working with _Invisible Children_. Did you ever read _Soldier of Misfortune_?" Wallace asked. Logan shook his head, and he continued. "It's written by this guy Apollo- he goes to Hearst, actually- who was forced to become a child soldier when he was six. Anyway, it kind of inspired me to want to get involved. It's amazing, you should check it out."

"Maybe I will," Logan said, sounding interested. "I've been reading a lot lately."

"Yeah?" Veronica asked.

"Well, you know what they say. An idle mind is the Devil's playground."

"And here I thought his playground was your suite at the Grand," she countered.

Wallace laughed. "I have my copy upstairs. Remind me to give it to you before you leave."

"I have my copy upstairs too," Veronica spoke up. "Signed by the author _himself_."

Wallace rolled his eyes at her. "What, you think you're all special or something because you reunited Apollo with his father?"

"You did?" Logan asked, surprised.

"Yes," Veronica answered, a bit defensively. "It's not _all_ cheating spouses and back alley dealings, you know. I do good stuff too, from time to time."

"I know you do, Veronica," Logan said. He squeezed her arm and smiled at her. Veronica smiled back at him, then stood up and held out her hand to help him up. He took her hand, and Keith looked back towards the game so they wouldn't notice that he'd been watching them the whole time he'd been in the living room.

_So maybe Alicia was right,_ Keith thought to himself grudgingly. _Maybe I've never given Logan a fair shake because I was sure he'd never be good enough for Veronica. Maybe I was so focused on the negative things that I couldn't see the positive things._ Keith smiled up at his daughter as she made a big show of taking a single piece of cheese off of the tray. _I certainly haven't seen her this playful and happy in a long time. There's a spark in her eyes again. I've missed that._

Keith felt a rush of pride towards his daughter then, for inviting Logan to spend the holiday with them. _I know that I haven't always been the most welcoming, when it comes to Logan. And_ _I know the two of them haven't always gotten along, through the years._ _But despite my misgivings, and their history, she didn't want him to spend Thanksgiving alone. And she seems genuinely happy that he's here. _He watched Logan as he took a plate and started filling it up with snacks._ And I'm glad that he's here with us today, too. Anyone who can make Veronica smile like that is okay in my book._

"Alright, I'm gonna go see if Alicia needs any more help," Veronica said.

"You want me to come?" Logan asked, looking up from his food.

"Well that depends. Have you been hiding your culinary genius from me this whole time?"

"Um, not quite. But I can follow instructions on a box, or whatever."

"Alicia's a little fancier than me. She doesn't cook from boxes," Veronica said. "But I do appreciate the offer." She grabbed a carrot and headed into the kitchen.

"Don't feel bad. I'm not even _allowed_ in the kitchen," Wallace told Logan. "Not since I tried to make brownies when I was ten."

Logan laughed and sat down next to him on the couch. "So what's the score?"

"Packers are up by seven," Keith told him.

"Nice."

"You a Packers fan?"

"Yeah," Logan answered, settling back on the couch with his plate.

Wallace, who was a huge Bears fan, made a face. Keith, as a Chargers fan, was slightly less offended.

"How did that come about?" Keith asked curiously. "Green Bay's pretty far away."

"Uh, my old man grew up in Michigan, so he was a Lions fan," Logan said with a wry smile. "It kinda started as a way to piss him off."

Keith chuckled, appreciating his straightforward answer. He stood up. "You guys need a drink?"

"No thanks, I'm good," Logan replied.

"Vodka and red bull?" Wallace asked hopefully.

"Not gonna happen, kiddo."

When Keith walked into the kitchen, Alicia and Veronica were talking quietly by the stove. They stopped when he came in, and he put his hands on his hips.

"What?" Veronica asked innocently, starting to mash up the potatoes.

Keith walked towards her and lowered his voice. "The fact that Logan is here today instead of Stosh, is that significant in some way?"

"Meaning?" she asked.

Keith raised both eyebrows at her.

Veronica paused in her task to glance up at him. "No, Dad, we're just friends."

He nodded his head. "Okay. But for the record, I don't look at my friends the way Logan looks at you. Or, I should point out, the way you look at him."

Veronica shook her head and returned to mashing up the potatoes. After half a minute, she stopped again and looked back up at him. "Dad, me and Logan are just… It just can't work. Besides, I thought you didn't even _like_ him."

Keith poured some gin in a glass and topped it off with a splash of tonic. He took a couple of sips, and then looked back at his daughter. "I'll admit that I was never entirely comfortable with the way he looked at you. No father wants to see a man look at his teenage daughter like that. But a very wise woman I know suggested that I take a closer look at him. So I have. And I can see that he's done some growing up."

Veronica chewed her bottom lip, looking thoughtful. "Yeah," she said quietly. "I guess he has."

"Veronica," Keith said, his voice serious, "Someone once told me they didn't want to be on their deathbed one day, counting regrets. It's easy to let life pass you by. I know that's hard to see at your age. You've grown into an amazing young woman, and I'm proud of you. But try not to be such a cynic. Okay?"

"Okay, Dad." She smiled at him, and he kissed the top of her head.

As he headed back into the living room, he glanced at Alicia. She nodded at him in silent approval, and he winked at her. Keith sat back down on his chair and took another sip of his drink. Logan was talking to Darrell, who was now sitting next to him on the couch.

Wallace shook his head and laughed. "Don't give him any ideas. He gets into enough trouble as it is."

"No I don't," Darrell insisted.

"What are you guys talking about?" Keith asked.

Logan dunked a red pepper into the dip and smiled at him. "Just teaching Darrell some of the finer points of football."

Before Keith could reply, Veronica came back in. "Okay, it's time to stop snacking and start eating. Dinner's ready."

"I love Thanksgiving," Wallace grinned. He wasted no time getting up and heading over to the dining room.

Everyone sat down at the table and started piling food on their plates. Alicia cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. "I just want to say that I'm thankful to have our whole family together today, and I'm happy that Logan was able to join us." She glanced at Keith. "Before we eat, we have some news."

Veronica and Wallace exchanged looks. "I don't know if we can handle any more of your news," she joked.

"It's good news, I promise," Keith told her.

"We went to the doctor's last week, and…it's a girl," Alicia announced with a big smile.

"Aw, man," Darrell said, disappointed. Keith and Alicia had decided that it was safe to tell him the news about the baby a couple of weeks ago, and he'd taken it in stride. But he'd been vocal about his hopes for a little brother.

"Hey, look at it this way," Logan told him. "At least she won't want to steal your toys."

"That's true," Darrell said, considering.

"A little sister, huh?" Wallace asked, grinning at his mom. "I think I can live with that."

"Wow," Veronica said softly. "A girl." She looked at Logan and smiled.

Keith watched them as they looked at each other, sharing some kind of wordless understanding. _Maybe the real reason I didn't like Logan was because I knew he was going to take her away from me one day. And I wasn't ready to lose her yet._

"You didn't take any of the sweet potatoes," Veronica said to Logan.

"No. I, uh, I don't like them," he replied.

"But you've never had _Alicia's _sweet potatoes," Veronica pressed.

"Veronica," Keith said. "Leave him alone. He's allowed to not like them. How would you feel if I forced you to eat something you didn't like? A pickle, perhaps?"

She made a face. "But these are _so_ _good_," she said insistently.

"Alright," Logan consented. "Let me try them."

Without hesitation, Veronica set a big spoonful on his plate.

Alicia laughed. "Logan, honey, you go ahead and put those right back on her plate. I won't be the least bit offended."

"I'll eat them," Wallace offered.

"No, I want to try them." He glanced at Veronica as he put a small portion on his fork. "Will you quit staring at me?"

She sighed and looked away as he took a bite, but turned back to him a few seconds later. "Well?" she asked expectantly.

"They're really good," he said, sounding surprised.

Veronica smiled in satisfaction, but didn't gloat. Everyone spent the next few minutes eating happily, and complimenting Alicia and Veronica on a job well done.

"Hey Logan," Darrell spoke up suddenly, his mouth full of turkey. "What do you think the spread is on the Cowboys and Patriots game?"

Wallace burst out laughing.

"Finer points of football, eh?" Keith asked Logan, smiling in spite of himself.

Logan scratched the back of his head, looking a little embarrassed. "Sorry about that. I had a couple of bucks riding on the game," he admitted. "He wanted to know how it worked."

"Well I think we'll manage to keep him out of Vegas for at least the next couple of years," Alicia joked. "After that, you might need to let us know who your bookie is."

Keith looked around the table. _This is how I always pictured my life. I loved being a sheriff; but being a husband and father, those were always the roles that meant the most to me._ Keith suddenly realized that he was truly happy, for the first time in years. _I loved Lianne. But she wasn't the right woman for me. I fell under her spell, and jumped in and married her before I knew who she really was. _

He watched as Logan and Veronica fought playfully over the mashed potatoes. _They really do have similar personalities. If they get back together, I hope at least one of them knows how to hold the other one back. It could be a rough road for those two. They're both reckless, and impulsive. But marrying Lianne was the most impulsive thing I've ever done. Regardless of how things turned out, if I hadn't married her I wouldn't have Veronica. And my life would never have been complete._

**xxXxx**

Mac

Mac sat on the bed in her dorm, flipping through a comic book as she waited for Casey. _It's Thursday_, she suddenly realized. _This is the first Thursday that I won't be spending with the Sinclair's in over two months. It feels weird. I wonder what they're doing for the holiday? I'm sure Margaret's cooking up something awesome, as always. And, of course, Madison is home from school. _Mac had a thought and headed over to her desk, opening her laptop.

After a few minutes, she stared at the blinking dot on a map that indicated Madison's new BMW. _Yup, she's home._ Mac hadn't been checking on Madison as often, since she'd started spending more time with Casey; but she still kept an eye on her on the weekends. She'd managed to bug Madison's favorite Tiffany necklace weeks earlier, when she'd left it at home to have the clasp fixed. But Mac had found listening to her conversations too strange. So once Madison got the new car, she'd stuck the GPS tracker on it and used that to make sure she was okay.

The GPS had told her that Madison was continuing to go out to various clubs and bars every weekend. To Mac's relief, she seemed to be leaving her car once she got to where she was going, and taking different transportation home. But just as Mac had decided it was safe to retrieve the tracker from her car, she'd noticed something unusual. Madison was starting to frequent a different type of bar. The last two weeks in particular, she'd ended up in locations that were a bit off the beaten track for most of the college students in Neptune- a bit seedier.

The bar she'd been at the past Saturday night, Tom's Tavern, was so far from what she'd expected of Madison that she'd gotten a little alarmed. Mac couldn't imagine what someone like Madison Sinclair would be doing at a place like Tom's. It was the kind of establishment that boasted $1.50 domestic cans and just had a men's room. The only neon left on the sign was the apostrophe S. _That place is almost as shady as the River Styx, and that's saying something. _

Speculation about what Madison had been up to led Mac to thoughts about her family- particularly Lauren. She had a sudden, overwhelming urge to see her sister. They'd been growing closer and closer these past two months; but Mac knew she was holding back. Not just with Lauren, but with all of them.

_It just doesn't seem fair to me that I get to be a part of their lives, but Madison doesn't get to be a part of _my_ family. I wish we could all just spend Thanksgiving together. I think I could put up with Madison for one day. Well, maybe. But that's never gonna happen. Mom and Dad won't talk to her, and I still don't know why._

There was a knock on the door, and Mac quickly closed her laptop and stood up to answer it. She opened it to find Casey, smiling down at her.

"Hey, beautiful," he said. Casey entered the room and gave her a big hug, lifting her off the ground.

Mac laughed at his enthusiastic greeting. "Hi."

He put her down and kissed her on the lips. "You ready to go?"

She nodded, grabbing her jacket and her purse. They walked downstairs and got into his car. She'd gently suggested that he take the Audi today, not wanting her parents to feel overwhelmed by how wealthy he really was. He'd agreed easily, not even questioning her strange request.

"So," he said as he pulled out of the parking lot, "I wanted to bring something for your parents, but I wasn't sure what they'd like. I picked up a bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers. What do you think?"

Mac glanced in the backseat to see a gorgeous bouquet and a gold bag with a ribbon on it. "Uh, my parents aren't really wine drinkers," she said. "But I'm sure my mom will love the flowers. Thanks for thinking of that."

"Of course," Casey said. "I wouldn't go to your parents' house for the first time empty handed."

Mac smiled at him, but after a few seconds it faded and she looked out the window. _God, what was I thinking? Our house is gonna look like a shack to him. We'll look like a bunch of hicks. What if Dad shows him his Dale Earnhardt Jr. memorabilia? Casey probably doesn't even know who that is. _

They'd both been silent for a few minutes when Casey spoke up. "Do we have a few minutes before we have to be there?"

Mac looked at her watch. "Um, yeah, we're actually running a little early."

"Good." Casey made a right turn; after a minute he parked the car.

Mac looked around, realizing he'd taken them to Dog Beach. "What are we doing here?"

Casey put his hand on her arm, rubbing it gently. "You seem upset about something. Let's go for a walk, okay?"

"Uh, okay," Mac agreed. They got out and headed down to the beach.

"So, what's going on?" Casey asked. "Did I do something wrong?"

"_No_," she said adamantly. "Not at all. But, you know, about today…" She glanced up at him. "I feel like maybe I pressured you into this. And I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to come. I mean, if you want to change your mind, it's totally okay with me."

"Mac," he laughed. "This is, like, the fifth time you've tried to get me to back out. I'm starting to get paranoid that you don't want me there anymore."

"I'm just- they're really different from you." She gestured to his outfit, a pair of jeans and a powder blue Armani button down shirt. "Like what you're wearing…"

"You said dress casual. I thought jeans would be okay."

"They are, you look great. But your shirt probably costs more than my dad makes in a week."

"So… do you want me to change?" he asked, barely concealing a smile. "I can run to the mall real quick. How much am I allowed to spend? Do I have to get something off the sale rack, or am I allowed to pay full price?"

Mac made a face at him. "You're making fun of me."

"Just a little bit," he agreed. They stopped walking, and he kissed her gently. "Babe, relax. I can fit in wherever. If you don't believe me, ask Veronica to tell you about the Mooncalf Collective one of these days."

"It's not _you_ I'm worried about," Mac admitted, pushing a few flyaway hairs out of her eyes. "Wait, the Moon Cow what?"

They were both distracted then by a series of noisy yips. Mac looked up to see a black and white puppy with a leash attached running down the beach toward them. Casey jogged over and deftly grabbed the end of the leash, stopping the dog in its tracks. Mac walked over to them and bent down to pet the puppy, who was wagging his tail and looking extremely pleased with himself.

"I think this belongs to you," Casey said, handing the leash over to the guy who'd been chasing the dog.

"Hey, man, thanks a lot," the guy said breathlessly. "He saw something and bolted, just pulled the leash right out of my hand."

Mac looked up in surprise, standing up slowly. "Max?"

"Oh hey, wow. Hi." Max glanced back at Casey, looking at him very differently all of the sudden.

"You got a puppy," Mac stated.

"Yeah. Uh, last week." Max was still glancing from her to Casey and back again.

"He's adorable. What's his name?" she asked.

"Zap Rowsdower. It's from this movie that was on Mystery Sci-"

Mac glanced down at the puppy and burst out laughing. "Because he kind of has a mullet? Oh, that's hilarious!"

Max smiled at her. "Of course _you'd_ get it. No one else knew what the hell I was talking about." He glanced at Casey again.

"Oh, sorry, this is Casey. Casey, Max."

The two of them exchanged hellos, each looking at the other curiously.

"Huh." Max said, turning to Mac. His lips formed a tight line as he nodded his head. "Well that was fast."

"Max-" she began.

"No, it's okay. I get it." He rolled his eyes and nodded his head towards Casey. "I mean, it's pretty obvious what the attraction is," he said dryly.

Casey glanced at Mac. "Uh, if you guys need to talk, I can-"

"No," Mac said, suddenly angry with Max. _He took me for granted, and he lost me. I'm not apologizing for that._ She put her hand on Casey's arm. "We need to go anyway, it's getting late." She caught the look on Max's face when she touched Casey, and she softened a little bit. "It was good to see you, Max. Take care, okay?"

Max nodded, but didn't look at her. "Yup. You too. C'mon Zap." He turned and walked away quickly.

Casey and Mac headed back to the car in silence. "Your ex?" Casey finally asked.

"Yeah. I'm sorry about that. We haven't seen each other since the breakup," Mac explained.

"It's okay, I get it." Casey said. But he glanced back in Max's direction with a frown.

"So Veronica won't be home tonight," Mac said. "Do you want to come back to my room after dinner?"

Casey didn't answer right away. Mac couldn't help wondering if seeing her relationship baggage go by on a conveyor belt right in front of them had freaked him out. She looked down. "If you have work to do or something, I understand."

"It's not that," Casey said hesitantly.

Mac was really getting worried now. She looked back up at him, her stomach in knots. "What is it then?"

"It's your bed," he told her. "It's kind of uncomfortable sharing a twin-sized bed, you know? Besides," he said, leaning down to brush her hair out of her face. "I just had this new hot tub installed, and I've been dying to try it out with you."

Mac grinned at him. "Sold."

**xxXxx**

It only took Mac about a half hour to realize that her fears about Casey and her family getting along had been totally unfounded. She watched in something close to amazement as he bonded with her father and her uncle Robert over their shared love of snowmobiling- something Mac had no idea he was even interested in. _It makes sense, of course. He was such a good athlete in high school. And my dad is all about outdoor sports. I guess it doesn't take much common ground for men to get along._

As for the women- well, they'd been even easier for him to win over. It was clear that her mom, her aunt Charlie and her thirteen year old cousin Delia were equally smitten. Delia, in particular, couldn't seem to look away from him. She kept glancing back and forth between Casey and Mac, clearly wondering what he saw in her.

"So, Case, you in the market for a jet ski? I could get you a hell of a deal on one if you're interested," Mac's father said.

Mac glanced at her dad, suddenly worried that he'd just been warming Casey up for a sale this whole time.

But Casey, who seemed completely relaxed, looked up at Mac and grinned. "What do you say? Would you go jet skiing with me?"

Her uncle Bob burst out laughing. "Have you ever _seen_ Cindy on a jet ski?"

Mac knew she was blushing, but she tried to keep her voice calm. "I haven't ridden one in years. I, uh, don't have the best balance in the world."

Casey reached over and squeezed her hand. "Well if you're up for trying again, it's a lot of fun. What do you say?"

_How does he _do_ that? One look, one touch and he makes me feel like I can do no wrong. I stop being awkward and imperfect, and I start being beautiful._ Mac cleared her throat, a little flustered. "Um, yeah, we can give it a try."

Casey smiled at Mac in a way that made her wish it was time to try out that hot tub of his; luckily, her mom distracted her by asking Delia and her for some help in the kitchen. As soon as they entered the room, Mac heard her aunt Charlie talking to her mom about him.

"Nat, let me just tell you- if I knew they grew them like _that_ in Neptune, I wouldn't have settled on Bob," she joked. When she glanced up and saw Mac, she put an arm around her. "Good job, Cindy. He's _gorgeous_."

Delia, who had deemed them all too lame to talk to as soon as she'd turned thirteen, actually graced them with her opinion. "He's seriously hot." She took a Diet Coke out of the fridge and went back into the living room, without bothering to ask what they needed help with. Charlie rolled her eyes and followed her daughter into the living room.

"So, what can I help with?" Mac asked.

"Well I need to do the gravy, but I know that grosses you out," her mom teased. "Can you cut up the cranberry sauce?"

"Sure," Mac agreed. It occurred to her, as she was slicing the cylindrical shaped cranberry gel that popped out of the can, that this wasn't quite haute cuisine… _But hey, this is it. This is the Mackenzie's. Better he see us for who we are now. Besides, I really like canned cranberry sauce. _When she was done, she realized that this was the first time that she'd been alone with her mom in a long time. She took a deep breath.

"Mom?" she asked.

"Yeah, hun?" Her mom tasted a spoonful of gravy and made a face. She reached for the pepper.

"Why won't you guys talk to Madison?"

Her mother didn't say anything right away. She shook the pepper into the pan full of gravy and stirred it vigorously. "Something is off about this gravy, and I can't _quite_ place it."

"Mom?" Mac prompted.

Her mother sighed. She stopped stirring and turned towards Mac. "_You're_ our daughter, honey. Getting close to this girl, after this many years…" She shook her head. "Well it would be very… confusing, for me. And how would we explain it to Ryan? He's still too young to understand all of this."

"But it doesn't seem fair," Mac argued. "I'm getting to know _my _other parents. But Madison-"

"Is that how you think of them?" her mom asked, eyes beginning to fill with tears. "As parents?"

"No, Mom, that's not what I meant. C'mon, you guys will _always_ be my parents. That will never change." Mac walked over to her mother and gave her a hug. After a moment, she pulled away and looked at her. "I just think that Madison should have a chance to get to know you, too."

"But honey, I've heard such _horrible_ things about that girl," her mother admitted, speaking quickly. She picked up the wooden spoon and began stirring the gravy again. "Liz Espenson said she was such a bully to her daughter Melanie that she quit the cheerleading squad. And Connie Holtzman-"

"Mom," Mac interrupted her quietly. "Does it matter? I mean, true, Madison hasn't always been the nicest person in the world. But… I don't know." She shrugged. "Just think about it, okay?"

Her mother set the spoon down and leaned against the counter with her head down. Mac watched her in silence; her demeanor was so different from the upbeat woman she was used to. Her mother sniffled once, and then she took a deep breath and turned back towards Mac. She nodded slightly. "Okay. I'll think about it. I promise."

"Good," Mac said. She didn't know what would come of this conversation, but she was glad that she'd spoken her mind.

"So," her mom began, her characteristic smile creeping back onto her face. "Let's talk about Casey."

**xxXxx **

Logan

Logan and Veronica drove in comfortable silence, listening to the radio and enjoying the unseasonably warm day. For the first time in a very long time, Logan felt content. Satisfied. It wasn't just the pleasant, lethargic feeling of eating slightly too much, or the fact that he'd just had the best home-cooked meal of his life. It wasn't even that Veronica was sitting next to him, or that he'd gotten to spend the last two hours with her. It was the feeling that he'd really been a part of something different, today. Something normal, and happy, and good. It was the newfound knowledge that, despite what the nightly news insisted, that type of family actually _existed_ in the world.

Spending the day with the Mars family had intrigued him. It was sort of like finding out that there really was a Santa Claus. This elusive, mysterious thing he'd ached for his whole life- a normal family- it really did exist. _They're so decent to each other. And they actually seem to enjoy each other's company. They're just… good people. Every single one of them. _

It was one of the qualities that had drawn him to Veronica from the first day he'd met her. She was a good person, through and through. _And despite her toughened exterior, she still is. _Logan glanced at Veronica, who was drumming her fingers on her jean-clad leg in time to the song on the radio. _Being around them today, it makes me want to be a better person._ _My own family set the bar so low it was practically underground. Maybe that's why I've never given a shit about much of anything._

Logan exhaled, smiling to himself. _It's been awhile since I felt this happy without a little self-medicating. That's got to be a good thing._ Logan had known that they'd all be polite to him today. But he hadn't expected to feel quite so comfortable. They'd welcomed him into their home and made him feel like a part of the family. _Even Keith seemed okay with me being there. Then again, that could be because I was there as Veronica's _friend_, and not her boyfriend. If I were there in a different capacity, it could easily go back to business as usual, between us._

_Don't forget_, a nagging voice in the back of his mind spoke up, _you _were_ only there as her friend today. Not as her boyfriend. Be careful, Logan._ He shook his head slightly. _That's true. At the end of the day, she has a boyfriend- and it's not me. I can't get wrapped up in the fantasy. Even though I know now, more than ever, that we're meant for each other. I need to remember that she's not mine. Not yet, anyway._

But it was hard to remember that as he glanced back at Veronica. Her hair was fluttering mildly around her in the breeze from the open window. She had her eyes closed and a slight smile on her face. Logan looked back at the road as a new song came on the radio. It was the acoustic version of "Everlong" by the _Foo Fighters_. Veronica reached over and turned the song up without asking.

She looked over at him. "Love this," she told him, voice raised over the music.

He glanced at her and smiled as she sang along softly.

"_Come down, and waste away with me…Down with me…Slow, how you wanted it to be…"_

Logan had realized something earlier that day, when they'd been sitting on the floor trying to transform Darrell's robot. And it hit him again now, as he listened to Veronica singing with the radio. _I'm completely happy just doing nothing at all with her. I don't give a shit if we watch TV, or go to the beach, or just bum around in our pajamas all day. I just want her there next to me._

"_The only thing I'll ever ask of you… You've got to promise not to stop when I say when…"_

_Lilly made me feel…uncertain, all of the time._ _She knew how to leave me wanting more, but I never felt sure about where we stood._ He smiled, thinking about how she used to flash him that careless grin of hers. With Lilly, it had always been about the what, the how, the where- it was all about how they could top the last crazy thing they'd done together. They were always pushing boundaries. With other people, with each other. _But with Veronica, I never cared what we did together or where we went. I just wanted to be with her, all of the time._

"_Breathe out, so I can breathe you in… Hold you in…"_

_But that doesn't mean that it's not taking every ounce of self-control that I have not to pull this car over and just fucking grab her, and kiss her. The more time we spend together, the harder it gets to resist the urge. _Logan wasn't quite sure where her head was at, yet, when it came to him. He thought he'd seen differences in her this past week- in the way she talked to him, and the way she looked at him. _But she's still with Piz._

Before Logan could dwell on that point any more, Veronica reached over and turned the music down. "Sorry about that," she said. "You know me, I like to sing along sometimes."

"Sorry about what? You have a great voice, you know that. No need to go fishing for compliments." Logan glanced at Veronica just in time to catch her sticking her tongue out at him, and he chuckled.

"Are we there yet?" she whined.

"Almost. Keep your shirt on." He grinned without looking at her. "On second thought…"

"Very funny." She cleared her throat. "So, um, on an entirely _different_ note… You remember how I told you that we know where my mom is now? And how she wants to see me?"

"Of course."

"Well, I think I decided that I don't want to see her. At least, not for a little while." She paused for a minute, looking out the window. When Logan glanced over at her, he was surprised to see tears streaming silently down her face. He reached across her and pulled open his glove compartment. Without looking, he found a pack of tissues and handed them to her.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"You okay?" he asked.

She wiped her eyes with a tissue and laughed. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been a weeping willow lately."

Logan reached over and squeezed her arm, but didn't say anything. He waited for her to compose herself and continue. _She'll tell me if she wants to._

"I do miss her," she said softly. "But the person I'm missing isn't really _her_. Not anymore."

Logan knew exactly what she meant. Most of the time, when he thought about his own mother, he only let himself remember the good parts. Most of the time, he had himself half-convinced that she'd been perfect. But sometimes, after his fourth or fifth scotch, he'd let the terrible truth wash over him- she'd kept him in that house with Aaron for years. She'd stood idly by, her silence and complacence making her an accomplice.

He'd think about how she'd let his father hurt him, over and over- and he'd hate her for it. Then he'd think about how she'd left him to his fate, in the end, and he'd hate her even more. _But she's still my mother. And I still miss her anyway._ It was the same way with Lilly. _Even after everything I found out about her. How she screwed around on me with Weevil, and my father, and god knows who else. What a bitch. But I still miss her._

Logan pulled into the parking lot of the Neptune Food Bank and parked the car. He turned to Veronica. "I know what you mean, and I think you're doing the right thing. Honestly, I don't think she deserves another chance. But if you ever decide you want to talk to her, you go do it- on _your_ terms."

Veronica nodded, giving him a small smile. "Thanks." She exhaled and took off her seatbelt. "Well, time to go serve man."

"I don't think the stuffing is _actually_ made out of people." Logan grinned at her. "C'mon, you're a little impressed I got that reference. You can admit it."

"Your knowledge of useless TV trivia is staggering. I'm in awe."

Logan laughed and they headed into the building.

**xxXxx**

Over two hours later, the crowd was starting to thin; Logan and Veronica took advantage of the lull by making as much fun of each other as possible.

"You know," Veronica said thoughtfully, "If you want to drum up a little more interest in those mashed potatoes, maybe you should try serving in just your apron."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Logan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hang on, I wasn't finished. I'll take a couple of snapshots with my phone, and then I'll turn around and _sell_ those pictures to a tabloid- thus subsidizing my textbook fund for next semester."

"I have a better idea. Why don't we take a picture of _you_ in that hair net? You could be Miss July in next year's Luscious Lunch Ladies calendar," Logan suggested.

"Somehow I don't think that would drum up enough revenue to cover a pack of _pens_."

"Oh, I disagree. I never told you this before, but the lunch lady look? Seriously hot."

"You know," Veronica said confidentially. "You're not alone. I happen to know it's currently among the top _five _male fantasies."

"Is that so?"

"Please," Veronica scoffed. "It's totally hotter than the French maid thing. Just _slightly_ less popular than the school girl. Didn't you notice all of the 'Sexy Lunch Lady' outfits at the Halloween store last month?"

"Hmm, they must have been sold out already."

Mike and Anita, the two volunteers who'd been working next to them, started to laugh. Veronica and Logan had been unintentionally entertaining them the whole time they'd been serving food.

"She's right," Mike agreed. "Lunch ladies are _very_ hot right now."

Elisa, the woman in charge, came over to them then, and they all struggled to keep their expressions serious. She was in her late sixties, but she had more energy than anyone Logan knew. Elisa had been running around all day making sure things were running smoothly. Her curly grey hair was even frizzier than normal, and her glasses were askew on her face. She threw an arm around Logan and gave him an affectionate squeeze.

"Hey guys, great job today," she said enthusiastically, addressing him and Veronica. "Logan, you brought us an excellent recruit! So do you two need to get going soon, or can you stick around for a bit longer?"

Veronica looked up at Logan and shrugged. "It's up to you, you're driving. I don't have any plans."

_And why is that?_ Logan suddenly wondered. _Where is Piz? Does he know that she spent the whole day with me? _"We can stay and help," he told Elisa.

"Oh good!" Elisa said. "Kevin had to bail on me, so I could _really_ use some help on dishes. If you guys could head back into the kitchen in about fifteen minutes or so, that would be _fantastic_." She leaned in and whispered in Logan's ear. "I knew there was a why reason you're my favorite." Elisa smiled broadly at them and walked away.

"Oh, man, dishes?" Veronica lamented when she was out of hearing distance.

Logan just shrugged, his mind still on Piz. _I did it again. I let myself forget about him._

Veronica crossed her arms and turned to face him. "How is it that you can change moods at the drop of a hat?"

"I'm not sure," Logan replied. "I don't even wear hats." He smirked. "But I can drop my pants pretty quickly."

"A useful skill, and I'm sure dozens of coeds are grateful for that," Veronica replied dryly.

Logan noticed an edge to her voice that made him look over at her. _I wonder if she really believes all the stupid rumors that go around about me?_ "Dozens?" he asked, keeping his voice light. "I think you're overestimating my popularity."

"Right."

They had to pause the conversation temporarily, as they dished out mashed potatoes and turkey to a family of four. When they'd left, Logan turned back to Veronica. "Sure, I've been around the block a few times. But I'm no Wilt Chamberlain."

"Who?" she asked.

Logan rolled his eyes. "He was a basketball player. This is why you should have been paying attention during my sports tutorial."

"I think I'd fallen asleep by the time you got to basketball." Veronica tucked a stray hair back under the hair net and glanced up at him. "So, uh, I was getting a cup of coffee earlier, and I saw something interesting."

"Sorry about that. Elisa and I _try_ to be discreet, but sometimes the urge is just so strong."

She ignored him and continued. "There was a framed picture on the wall of you and your father, standing in this _very_ room, in fact. You were wearing an apron, and sporting that familiar, shit-eating grin of yours that tells me when you're up to no good." Veronica looked up at him. "Care to elaborate?"

Logan shrugged, but he was smiling. "My dad made me come here one day, after I'd done something stupid. 'A lesson in public relations', he called it. He invited the press, of course, so they could see us doing this good deed…it was this big bullshit publicity stunt." He paused, remembering that day- both the good and the bad.

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I waited until the cameras were rolling, and then I announced to everyone that he was donating a half million dollars to this place. He wasn't, obviously. The old man wouldn't part with a fucking dime if he could help it. But he couldn't very well deny it, at that point, could he?"

"No," she agreed. "I guess he couldn't." Veronica laughed softly. "And that's pretty damn awesome." But the smile slowly disappeared from her face, and she looked down. When she glanced up at him, her expression was cautious. "I bet that got him pretty pissed off, huh?"

Logan shrugged. As uncomfortable as he was, he held her gaze. This was the first time Veronica had ever referenced his rocky history with Aaron so directly. He nodded. "Yeah, well. It's was worth it."

She put her hand on his arm, looking as though she were about to say more. But before she could, her phone began to buzz loudly. She pulled it out of her pocket, staring at it for a few long seconds before she reacted. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I have to take this."

Logan watched as she walked a few feet away. He couldn't hear her conversation, but he knew who was on the phone. _See, Logan? This is what you get for pretending you're part of the family. You're not._ He swallowed hard, trying not to stare at her while she spoke to Piz. _She doesn't belong to me anymore. I can't forget that again. _He watched Veronica as she paced back and forth while she spoke, frowning into the phone. She glanced up and caught him staring, and he quickly turned away and walked into the kitchen.

As annoyed as he was about Piz's phone call, Logan did have to admit that he was happy for the distraction. He could see where his conversation with Veronica had been heading. And he wasn't sure that he was ready to talk about the things Aaron had done to him. _Veronica's the only one I've ever considered telling. But I don't want her to look at me differently. I know she knows, but she doesn't _really_ know. The reality of it is, maybe, a burden that she shouldn't have to bear. _

She joined him a moment later, looking a little flustered. Logan forced a smile, and dangled a pair of clear plastic gloves in front of her. "Admit it," he said. "The only reason you wanted to come here with me today was so that you could avoid doing dishes at home."

Veronica grabbed the gloves out of his hands. "You got me."

"Sucker," he teased.

She sighed and picked up the Palmolive dish soap on the counter. "Well," she said, holding up the bottle like a housewife from a 50's commercial, "At least we'll be softening our hands while we do dishes. You should look on the bright side more, Logan."

"I find it hurts my eyes."

They scrubbed dishes in silence for a few minutes, trying to get through their task as quickly as possible. After a few minutes, Veronica turned to Logan and made a face. "Okay, I know volunteer work isn't supposed to be particularly glamorous, or anything. But this is seriously gross."

Logan was trying to scrape the excess mashed potatoes off of a plate with a plastic spoon when he had a brilliant idea. He flashed her a mischievous smile. "You know what's even grosser?"

"What?" Veronica asked cautiously.

Without warning, Logan snapped the spoon back and sent a glob of mashed potatoes flying towards her.

It landed squarely between her eyes and then dropped onto the floor, leaving a clumpy white residue on her forehead. She looked at him with her mouth open, shaking her head in disbelief. "Big mistake, Echolls." Without further hesitation, she picked up a half-eaten buttered roll and launched it at him.

Logan ducked too late, and the roll landed butter-side down in his hair. He grinned at her and reached for the stuffing.

**xxXxx**

Veronica

The following Monday, Veronica and Wallace walked towards the food court together. Veronica twirled her finger through a strand of hair nervously. They were meeting a group of people for dinner, and Piz was going to be among them. Aside from their brief and vaguely awkward phone conversation on Thanksgiving, this was the first time that she was going to talk to him since they'd decided to take a break. She'd been mentally preparing herself all day for the conversation she knew they had to have.

"So," Wallace asked her, "before we get there I wanted to ask you- is Logan being at Thanksgiving a secret?"

"No," she replied slowly. "It's not a secret. But I'd prefer if you didn't go out of your way to mention it."

"Okay," Wallace said.

Veronica could tell he was uncomfortable, and she felt bad putting him in that position; but she thought it was for the best if Piz didn't find out about Logan. _I'm sure he'd take it the wrong way. Besides, why get into it at this point? After tonight, it won't really matter that much._

She had to admit to herself that it had been a nice change, hanging out with Logan without having to feel like she was monitoring their friendship. _Everything felt so much more relaxed and natural between us, on Thanksgiving. I'm so glad he decided to come._ Veronica frowned. _But I did miss Piz. When he called, he sounded so miserable. I felt pretty awful that I'd been having such a good time without him. _

Veronica looked up then to see Piz, watching her. He was sitting at a table with Vinnie and Jim, the guys who lived next door to him and Wallace. Mac was supposed to be joining them shortly. Piz smiled at her hesitantly, and she took a deep breath and walked over to the table. He pulled the chair next to him out for her, and she sat down and turned to him.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey. How's it going?" he asked.

"Oh, you know. It's going." Veronica smiled, trying to break the tension. She gestured to the various restaurants around them. "So. What are you in the mood for tonight?"

"Uh… Italian?" he asked with a shrug.

"Sounds good," she replied. They got up and walked over to stand in line at _Spaghetti Western_. Veronica turned to face him. "How was your trip? When did you get back?"

"It was good. I got back last night. It was kind of late, I didn't want to bother you." Piz glanced up at the menu, studying it in silence. After a minute, he looked back down at her. "So, um when can you talk?"

"I was thinking we could talk after dinner."

"I'm sorry, I can't tonight," Piz told her. "I have to work at the station until pretty late. I go on in about a half hour, actually."

"Oh," Veronica said. She hadn't been expecting that.

"How about tomorrow?" he asked.

"I have a shift at the library until 11. Everyone's gearing up for finals, so they want us to work later than normal. And then Wednesday, I promised my dad I'd help out at the office. Thursday?"

"Working at the station again," he replied. They both laughed a little uncomfortably. "Sounds like it's a crazy week for both of us. Should we try and talk this weekend instead?"

Veronica hesitated. Now that she'd made the decision that they needed to end things, she didn't like the idea of dragging it out. But she also didn't want to break off her relationship with Piz in some rushed, five minute conversation. _I owe him more than that. _"Okay," she agreed. "How about we meet up on Saturday morning?"

"Sounds like a plan," he said.

He went back to studying the menu. Veronica glanced at him, noticing that he seemed a bit more relaxed. She got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. _The last time we talked, I kind of thought he knew where this was going. I thought we were on the same page. But now, I'm not so sure._

**xxXxx**

"Okay, kids, I have to cut this a little bit short today," Professor Jayne announced in class that Thursday. "I know you're all distraught, but try and keep your crying to a minimum. Just a reminder- we'll be reviewing for finals next week. Make sure not to miss class, as we'll be covering everything that may be on the final. Enjoy the rest of your day."

Veronica and Logan gathered up their things and headed out into the hallway. She checked the time on her phone. "Hey, do you feel like grabbing a coffee?"

"Sure," he agreed. They started walking down the hall together. "I can't believe finals are in less than two weeks. This semester flew by."

"It totally did. Ugh, the next couple of weeks are gonna suck. I'm pretty sure I'll rock this final though," she said.

"You think so?"

"Oh yeah."

"So you think that you'll score higher than, say, me?" Logan asked, holding the door to the stairwell open for her.

"Please," she scoffed, heading through the open door.

"Care to make it interesting?" He flashed her a devious smile.

Before Veronica could respond, Logan reached into his pocket and produced his buzzing phone. He rolled his eyes when he saw who was calling, but pressed the button to answer the call.

"How much is the bail, and where do you need it wired to?" he asked.

Veronica glanced over at him as they walked down the stairs, trying to figure out who he was talking to. Logan remained silent, listening to the person on the other end of the line. When they got to the bottom and exited the stairwell, Logan began to walk more slowly. He paused outside the closed door of one of the music classrooms. Veronica stopped walking to wait for him. Logan glanced at her and shook his head.

"Thanks, Sis, but you're about a month off."

_Ah. Trina._

He listened for a moment, smiling vaguely. "Yeah, well, I appreciate the gesture," he said dryly. "Just so you know, Christmas is on December 25th this year. In case you feel an overwhelming urge to wish me a Merry Christmas. Take care now."

Logan hung up and turned to Veronica. "I don't know what's worse: that she's never once remembered to wish me happy birthday on my _actual_ birthday, or that I'm forced to listen to her sing 'Happy Birthday to You' off-key every year."

"So you guys aren't keeping in touch too much, huh?" Veronica asked.

"Well, let's see. The last time I heard from her was in…July. You may have heard about her legal troubles with Lindsay Lohan?"

"The car keying thing?" Veronica laughed, remembering the tabloid Arianna had been reading over the summer. "Yeah, I did hear about that. I wasn't sure she'd really done it though."

"And here I thought you were supposed to be all clever," he smirked. "Of course she did it. And guess who she called to bail her out?" Logan put his palm to his chest. He furrowed his brow and pretended to look thoughtful. "I think it may be a new California bylaw that there needs to be an Echolls awaiting trial at all times. Public sentiment demands it." He stopped talking, suddenly staring at a spot behind her. Logan had a strange expression on his face that Veronica couldn't place.

Veronica started to turn around, to see what he was looking at. But suddenly, Logan stepped in very close to her and bent his head down low, looking at her carefully. Without a word, he gently swept the tips of his fingers across her cheek. She looked up at him, sure she wasn't able to keep the surprise off of her face.

Logan smiled and stepped backwards. "You had an eyelash," he explained casually.

"Oh. Thanks." Veronica didn't say anything for a second, watching the people who'd just gotten out of class walk by her. She spotted someone she knew and tugged on Logan's shirtsleeve to get his attention. "Hey, did you happen to start the book Wallace lent you?"

"I actually finished it already," he said. "I couldn't put it down, it was awesome."

Veronica smiled up at him. "Do you have any interest in meeting the author?"

"Yeah, absolutely."

She grabbed his arm and led him quickly towards the front entrance, hurrying to catch up. "Apollo!" she called when she got within hearing distance.

Apollo turned and glanced around, breaking into a big smile when he saw her. "Veronica," he said, coming over to give her a warm hug. "Where have you been hiding? I haven't seen you in ages."

"I know, I'm sorry. It's been a crazy semester. How's your dad doing? Was he able to move out here permanently yet?" she asked.

"He was," Apollo told her. "He's doing very well. He's actually thinking about taking a few courses here next semester."

"Very cool," she said, nodding her head. "Apollo, this is my friend Logan."

They shook hands. "It's really good to meet you," Logan told him. "I just got done reading your book last night. It was amazing."

"Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it," Apollo smiled. He turned to Veronica. "Is this the same Logan you're always telling me likes videogames even more than I do?"

Veronica saw Logan glance at her out of the corner of her eye. "Um, yeah, it is," she affirmed.

"I'm a little bit of an addict myself," Apollo told Logan.

"I can totally relate, dude. Do you ever play online?"

Veronica's thoughts began to wander as the two of them talked about different gaming systems and exchanged their PSN names. _Seeing Apollo distracted me from Logan's kind of bizarre behavior before. What was that all about? I thought he was going to kiss me for a minute… _The thought of kissing Logan made her flush, and she glanced over to make sure he hadn't noticed. She had nothing to worry about- Apollo and Logan were talking animatedly.

Her thoughts turned to Piz. She hadn't seen him around since Monday night, but that wasn't all that unusual. They were both really busy. _Our big talk is only two days away._ Veronica wasn't looking forward to it; but she'd worked out exactly what she wanted to say, and she was hoping that they could end things amicably. She focused back on Logan and Apollo, who appeared to be wrapping up their conversation.

"Yeah, man, any time," Logan said, shaking Apollo's hand.

"I look forward to killing zombies with you," Apollo joked. He turned to Veronica and gave her a quick hug. "Don't be a stranger, my friend."

"I won't," she promised. He walked away, and she turned to Logan. "Well you guys certainly seemed to hit it off."

"Yeah, well, I probably have more in common with him then I do with any of these people," he said, gesturing to the other students milling around.

Veronica wondered what he meant by that, but she decided to let it go. "If you still want to grab a coffee, we better get moving. I've got to get over to the library pretty soon."

Logan nodded, and they headed over to the food court together.

**xxXxx**

Later that night, Veronica was sitting on her bed studying when the dorm phone rang. She jumped slightly at the noise, then walked over to Mac's side of the room to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Wallace said. "I gotta tell you something."

"What's up?" she asked curiously.

"Piz knows about Logan being at Thanksgiving."

"Fantastic," Veronica said, sighing heavily.

"Before you ask- no, I didn't tell him. My mom stopped over with Darrell earlier to drop off a textbook I forgot at the house. Darrell had his Megatron with him, and he was showing it off to Piz. He asked where he got it, and- well, you can figure out the rest."

"Yeah," she said. "I get it."

"Thought you might want to know. Piz didn't look too happy about it."

"I kinda figured."

"I don't think he was too happy with _me_ either for not mentioning it to him. Oh, and by the way? I'm not sure how I feel about my little brother idolizing Logan."

Veronica chuckled. "Aw, I think it's kinda cute. Well thanks for giving me a heads up. Sorry you got stuck in the middle."

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow."

Veronica hung up the phone, but stared at it for a long time. _I think that amicable breakup I was hoping for may have just gone out the window._

**xxXxx**

That Saturday morning, Veronica sat on a bench at Dog Beach, waiting for Piz. She'd wanted to meet him someplace where they'd have a little privacy, just in case things got ugly. She was still hopeful that they'd be able to talk calmly and end things on a positive note. But Piz, who was unfailingly prompt, was already over ten minutes late. _That can't be a good sign._

She was taking a sip of coffee when she saw his car pull into the lot in front of her. She took a deep breath, trying to keep the smile on her face as he walked towards her. His shoulders were slightly hunched and his hands were stuffed in his pockets. Veronica's smile faded. He sat down next to her on the bench, keeping a couple of feet of space between them.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," he returned, not quite meeting her eye.

There was a long moment of silence. Veronica opened her mouth to begin the speech she'd prepared, but Piz spoke first.

"So I know that we're supposed to talk, or whatever, but I'm not sure what's left to say at this point."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, taken aback.

He glanced at her, but looked away quickly. "It means that I know you've already made your decision. I know that Logan was at your house for Thanksgiving."

_Well I was expecting this._ Veronica was glad that she was prepared. She kept her voice level. "He was," she affirmed. "I invited him."

"I got to find out from Wallace's little brother, so that was fun."

"I'm sorry if it upsets you, Piz," she said quietly. "But Logan is my friend."

Piz got up off of the bench and stood in front of her, his expression hard. "What upsets me, _Veronica_," he began, "is that you invited _him_ to Thanksgiving but you didn't invite _me_. _I'm_ your boyfriend. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Don't you think _I_ would've liked to spend the holiday with you? Didn't you want to spend it with me?"

Before Veronica could respond, he continued. "I mean, you give me this line about it being this 'special day' for your family, and I _accepted _that. So he gets to spend this 'special day' with your family, while I'm off by myself in Oregon?" He threw up his hands. "And then, after everything, you don't even _say _anything to me about it?" He paused and looked down at the ground, his voice suddenly softer. "I called you on Thanksgiving because I missed you. And you told me that you missed me too, do you remember that?"

Veronica was speechless for a moment, a little shocked by the extent of Piz's anger and bitterness. "I did-"

"Meanwhile," he continued, ignoring her, "you'd spent the whole day with _Logan_." He shook his head. "He was probably standing next to you when I called, just laughing his ass off."

His anger had Veronica completely off-balance. She'd never seen him like this before. Everything that she'd wanted to say to him was forgotten. She saw his point completely; she knew exactly how the situation looked to him. Even though her decision to end the relationship hadn't changed, she felt compelled to explain herself to him. Veronica made her voice as calm and steady as possible.

"I'm sorry," she said earnestly. "This wasn't about sharing something special with Logan, not at all. He's all alone, and I felt bad. His parents are _dead_. He has no family. He doesn't even have a real home, just that stupid hotel room. I acted impulsively. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd take it the wrong way, and I didn't want to fight about it. I'm really sorry. I should have been honest with you."

Piz crossed his arms over his chest. But when he spoke, his voice was a little calmer. "Well, maybe you can understand that I found it a little troubling after what you'd told me."

"What did I-"

"You said that Logan is important to you," Piz said, anticipating her question.

Veronica nodded. "Yes."

"You know," Piz said quietly, his voice laced with hurt and disappointment, "I know that things haven't been great with us lately. So I thought maybe, if you took a little bit of time to think about everything, you'd realize that you missed me, and that you…that you wanted to work things out." He shook his head. "But I guess you didn't need any time, huh? You've made it clear what it is that you want. You've made it clear _who_ it is that you want." He gave a bitter laugh. "I'm gone for a few days and he's already at your house. How many days before he's in your bed? Or has that happened already?"

"_What_?" she asked, feeling her temper rise. "How can you even _ask_ me that?"

"How can I ask you that?" he repeated sarcastically. "Well let's see. Maybe because I saw the two of you kissing two days ago?"

"What?" she asked again. "What are you talking about?"

Her obvious confusion seemed to throw him. He studied her face carefully as he spoke. "I saw you guys together, in Forbin Hall. On Thursday."

Veronica thought quickly back to Thursday afternoon, trying to recall what had happened that day. She remembered, suddenly, that Piz had a music class in Forbin at the same time that she and Logan had their Lit class. _He must have seen us when we were on the first floor, after Logan talked to Trina. Or maybe when we were outside talking to Apollo. Or maybe both… But why does he think we kissed?_ "So? We were just talking. I introduced Logan to Apollo because he'd just read his book."

"Before that," Piz said, confirming Veronica's suspicion that he'd been watching the two of them for more than just a minute, that day.

"Piz, I'm not sure what you think you saw, but Logan and I weren't kissing. Okay?"

"If you say so," he said, putting his hands on his hips. When she didn't respond, he rolled his eyes. "I _saw_ you, Veronica. He touched your face. You were standing, like two inches away from each other." He laughed shortly. "Even if you weren't kissing…" He shook his head again.

Veronica could feel the frustration welling up inside of her. She felt like the conversation had completely gotten away from her. The pleasant cliché's about how much his continued friendship would mean to her couldn't be farther from her mind now. His unwarranted accusations were making her feel defensive and angry. "Look," she said. "Nothing happened with Logan, all right? I didn't freaking cheat on you. Besides, you should talk!"

"And what exactly is _that _supposed to mean?" he demanded.

"It means that I'm not blind. What about you and Emily?"

"What about us?" he asked. "I already told you, we're just friends."

"Oh, please," Veronica said, rolling her eyes. "I _know_ she likes you. Don't play dumb, you know it too."

"Okay, fine! She likes me," he admitted. "I can't help it if her feelings for me go beyond friendship. I've never done a thing to encourage that."

"But you _are_ attracted to her," Veronica stated, wanting him to confirm it. _If he's going to drag me through the coals, he can at least admit that he's not perfect either._

"Yes, okay?" he said, exasperated. "She's a good looking girl. I'm not all of the sudden _immune_ to other women just because I have a girlfriend. And you know what? Emily isn't the issue here. Logan is."

"What the hell is the difference?"

"The difference is that I've never _dated_ Emily," Piz answered her. "I've never had _sex _with Emily. Do you have any idea what it's like for me to think about you and Logan being together? Every time you're in class with him, every time the two of you are out somewhere, _that _image runs through my head."

"Well, I'm sorry, all right? I can't change history."

"So you're telling me that nothing's happened between you two?" Piz asked. "You've never kissed?"

"For the _third_ time now, no!" she yelled.

"Have you ever wanted to?" he returned.

Veronica looked away. She exhaled quietly and looked back at him. "Yes."

Piz turned away from her, staring out at the ocean. "So you still have feelings for him."

It wasn't a question, but Veronica answered him anyway. "Yes."

He looked up. "Do you love him?"

She swallowed hard, trying to hold onto her anger so she wouldn't feel so awful about the expression on his face. But her anger had disappeared. "Yes," she said in a whisper.

Piz took a long time before asking the next question, but she knew he'd ask it. "Do you love me?"

Veronica looked him in the eye. "I do. Just not-"

"Not like you love him," he finished.

"It's just not the same," she said quietly, her eyes welling up with tears.

"Well then what the hell _was_ this, Veronica?" Piz demanded angrily, breaking the calm of the last few minutes. "With us? Was it all bullshit?"

"No!" she protested. The tears finally spilled over as she tried to explain herself. "I wanted _so badly_ for our relationship to work. You're an amazing person. And I really thought that-"

"Save it, Veronica." He laughed shortly. "Wow, I'm a real asshole, huh? I actually thought I was in love with you." Piz shook his head at her. "But you're not the person who I thought you were. I don't know who the hell you are."

Veronica was shocked by his admission. She wiped the tears off of her cheeks. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"Oh, really?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes, really! You never told me. I'm not a mind reader."

Piz turned away from her again, speaking to the ground. "I never told you because I knew you weren't going to say it back," he said softly.

Veronica stared at him, her tears still falling uselessly down her cheeks. His anger had been tough to take; but the defeated tone in his voice as he said those last words almost broke her.

"You know," he continued quietly, still looking down, "I saw the way you looked at him that day in the cafeteria, and I knew there was something… So I asked you, right then. But instead of just admitting that you still felt something for him, you gave me some bullshit answer and basically told me not to worry about it." Piz looked back up at her. "And I believed you." He nodded his head toward the parking lot. "Well, go ahead then," he said. "Run back to Logan. You two deserve each other."

When she didn't make any move to leave, Piz turned away himself and started walking back to his car. Before he'd gone more than a couple of steps, Veronica called after him. "Piz?"

He paused and turned back towards her slowly, but didn't say anything.

She got up off of the bench and walked over to him. "I'm really sorry. For everything. I really hope-"

"Please don't say you hope we can be friends." He looked at her with something like disgust. "You think I want to be friends with _you_?"

His words made Veronica recoil as though she'd just been slapped. Her mouth dropped open, but no words came out. Piz didn't wait around to hear her response anyway. Without another word, he turned and walked away. This time, she let him go. But she continued to stare at him, as he got into his car and sped out of the lot, his tires kicking up a cloud of sand into the air. _I know I deserved that._ _But that doesn't make it suck any less._

Everything had gone so differently from how she'd imagined it that she was in shock. The realization that her relationship with Piz was over suddenly hit her. She walked back over to the bench in a daze and sat down. _Not only is he not my boyfriend anymore, he's not even my friend. And after that conversation, he never will be. When I see him on campus, he's not going to talk to me. We'll be like strangers. It'll be like the last seven months of my life didn't exist._

She let herself really cry then- painful, choking sobs as she suffocated on her own guilt. _I'm a horrible person. I had no idea that he felt that strongly about me. How did I let our relationship get to this point? I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to hurt him like this. _Veronica couldn't believe that she was capable of making another person feel that much pain._ Especially Piz, who's been nothing but nice to me since the moment I met him. The way he just looked at me, it was almost like…_Veronica had a sudden memory of Parker, standing outside of Logan's suite at the Grand.

"_What, did he send up a flare? He's all yours, Veronica."_

Veronica wiped the tears from her face with her sleeve._ Parker- she had that same, defeated look in her eyes. Just like Piz. So, what, are Logan and I just destined to keep screwing up each other's lives, and the lives of the people around us, for eternity? We can't be with each other, but we can't be with anyone else either?_

"_Lives ruined. Blood shed. Epic." It's what he said he wanted. Well congratulations, Logan, you've got it._

She got up off the bench and started walking out towards the beach, tossing her empty coffee cup in a garbage can on the way. Veronica sat down in a secluded spot far away from the shore, where clumps of beach grass poked through the sand. She took a few deep breaths of salty ocean air, trying to clear her mind. _I never should have stayed with Piz once I realized how I still felt about Logan. That's the bottom line. I was selfish. I took advantage of his kindness and his feelings for me. I let myself believe that if I wanted it enough, it would work out. I know better than that. Life isn't that simple._

_Yeah, so I never actually kissed Logan, like Piz seems to think I did. Does it matter? It was just a technicality. I've _wanted_ to kiss him, and that's just as bad. Hell, I've wanted to do a lot more than kiss him. I've been thinking about him for months, remembering times that we've spent together- at the beach, in the library, at his suite. Logan is always on my mind. I think of him when I wake up in the morning, and I think of him when I go to bed at night. I wonder where he is, what he's up to, and especially, who he's with. And when I'm with him, I never want to leave._

_So I'm back to this question again- could it really work with me and Logan? Really and truly, this time? _She closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like if she went to him, right now. _He'd wrap his arms around me, solid and warm. He'd hold me tightly, allowing me to lean on him, giving me the comfort I seek. That much I know he'd do, because he's my friend. But beyond that… _She could picture the next part of that scene, just as clearly. _I'd try to kiss him, and he'd pull away. He'd tell me that he can't do this with me. Not again. He'd say that he's here for me as his friend, but that's all we can be anymore._

Veronica shook her head. It was all conjecture. She had no idea what would really happen. But she knew one thing for sure. _I can't go to Logan now. It wouldn't be fair. Part of me would be thinking about Piz, and about how much pain I caused him. Part of me would be using Logan as an escape. And I won't do that to him. If Logan and I ever do try to make things work, I want to be completely focused on _him_, not just trying to soothe my raw emotions. Because, maybe, when the dust settles… maybe I'll see if Logan wants to talk. See what he thinks about everything._

_And what do_ I_ think about everything? _Her thoughts jumped to the question Wallace had asked her, a few weeks ago. Had Logan changed?_ Yes. He's definitely changed. Even Dad noticed. He's matured. He's doing well in school, he's stopped getting into trouble, he's taking life more seriously. Logan is even letting other people in more- Mac, Heather… and look at how friendly he was with Apollo, the other day. He's been a really good friend to me, too. He's been there for me, again and again._

_But can I forgive him for his actions in the past? _Veronica looked out at the ocean, relatively calm at low tide. She searched her feelings, and was surprised to discover the answer._ I already have. _The tinge of anger that she used to get when she pictured him taunting her in high school was gone. The righteous indignation she usually felt, remembering times he'd screwed up in the past- she couldn't summon it. _As for Madison…_

Veronica closed her eyes tentatively, but snapped them open after just a few seconds. The image of the two of them still elicited the same, familiar queasiness. _And it probably always will. But whatever happened between them, there's no chance in hell that she meant as much to him as I did. And I don't think sleeping with her was some malicious act, on his part. I don't think it was something that he did to hurt me. Logan would never be that cruel, not to me. I'll always hate that Logan slept with the girl who made my life a living hell. I'll always hate that Madison and I share him, in that way. But the fact is, it happened. And there's nothing that I can do to change that. So I'm letting it go. _

_The part that's a little harder to let go is that he lied to me about it. He lied right to my face, and I couldn't even tell. One of the things that hurt me the most about the whole situation was that Madison got to blindside me like that. Even before I saw her at the lingerie store, when she knocked on Logan's door… he just sat there on the couch, pretending that he had no idea why she was there. And I didn't suspect a thing. He's one of the only people who I have trouble reading. I'm sure he adapted the skill out of self-preservation, just like I did. But that doesn't mean I'm okay with it._

_And then there's the fact that he's been with all of these other women. It's been hard enough to deal with that as it is, and he's not even my boyfriend. Would I be able to accept the reality of it if we got back together again? _Veronica leaned back on her hands. _This is all moot anyway. I'm not ready to rush into anything, and I have no idea if Logan would even be willing to try again. Regardless of what the future might hold for us, I'm happy that we're friends. And I intend to put that friendship first. Logan has become someone that I can rely on; I want him to know that he can rely on me too. As for what happens next, well… I guess I'll just have to wait and see._

Logan

Just a few blocks away, Logan was sitting on the edge of his bed, rubbing his eyes groggily. He'd intended to hit the waves with Chip earlier; but when his alarm clock had gone off at 6 am, he'd slapped the off button and gone back to sleep. Logan stood up and shuffled across the room in just his pajama bottoms. He opened the doors and started towards the Espresso machine. But a movement out of the corner of his eye made him stop in his tracks.

There was a girl in the living room with him. She was bent over next to the couch, facing away from him. The tips of her long hair swept against the floor. She appeared to be looking for something. Logan crossed his arms and watched her for a moment, enjoying the view. "Hmm," he finally spoke up, "I asked room service for warm muffins, and instead they sent me hot buns. Seems something got lost in translation."

She stood up quickly and spun around to face him. She was pretty, Logan noted, in a vaguely exotic way. She was also tiny, with delicate features. _She's even shorter than Veronica._ Her brown hair fell in loose waves down her back, shot through with bright red streaks. A pair of vivid green eyes stared up at him in surprise. He watched those eyes flicker down to his bare chest, and then go quickly back up to his face. She opened her mouth to say something, but he spoke again before she got the chance.

"No need to be concerned," he said casually. "I won't call and complain. This is the type of mistake that I'm more than happy to overlook." Logan turned away from her and continued over to the Espresso machine.

"You must be Howard Hughes."

He glanced back over at her. She was sitting down on the edge of the couch now, watching him. "Pardon?" he asked.

"The eccentric roommate Dick warned me about last night," she replied. "Right before he threw my friend Callie over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and disappeared through _that_ door." She pointed towards Dick's room.

"I see. So, were you looking for porn or just loose change?"

"Excuse me?"

Logan let her wait a minute for a response while he poured himself an Espresso, then he walked over and stood in front of her. He took a sip from his coffee cup. "I saw you searching for something before. I'm pretty sure Dick has a Playboy stashed under the third cushion, if you're interested."

She made a face, clearly not sure what to make of him. "Thanks, I think I'll pass," she said dryly. She glanced towards Dick's bedroom door.

Logan could tell that, despite her calm demeanor, he was starting to make her nervous. He decided to take pity on her. "I'm Logan."

"Emily," she said.

He sat down on the opposite side of the couch from her and flipped on the TV. After a minute, he glanced back over at her. "You hungry?"

"Uh, kinda," she admitted. "I wasn't really expecting to stay out all night. I sort of got stuck here."

He got up and grabbed the room service menu and phone off of the table, handing both to her and sitting back down. "Get whatever you want. Just tell them to charge it to the room."

"Thanks," she said gratefully. Emily took a few minutes to study the menu, finally ordering a plain bagel with butter. Logan smiled to himself. He knew it was the least expensive thing on the menu. He only knew that because it was what Veronica had always used to order, before he'd figured out what she was up to. _So the girl is proud. She doesn't want to take charity, but she's hungry._ Something about that made him want to mess with her. _Maybe because it's such a Veronica thing to do._

"So," Logan began, "Why didn't you just call a cab last night?"

She sighed. "I ran out of cash. And I couldn't ask Callie, because well-" She gestured to Dick's room again. "She was obviously busy."

"Probably just for a minute. Maybe two."

She smiled, then, finally seeming convinced that he wasn't going to try anything shady with her. "Yeah, well, I didn't want to knock on the door and risk having the image of the two of them branded into my brain for the rest of my life."

"A wise choice."

Emily looked at him, her striking green eyes scanning him like lasers. "You look familiar. I feel like I know you from somewhere."

Logan took a sip of his Espresso. He hadn't gotten recognized in about a month, which had been refreshing. "Do you go to Hearst?" he asked, playing dumb.

"Yeah. But I don't think I know you from Hearst. I feel like it's from awhile ago, like a couple of years back," Emily said thoughtfully.

Before she could continue, Dick and a giggling redhead stumbled out of his room. Dick spotted Logan right away and gave him a big grin. "Dude," he said, putting an arm around the redhead, "_This_ is why, the next time I say 'do you want to hit the bar with me?' you say 'hell yes'." Instead of being offended, the redhead giggled again.

Emily rolled her eyes. "You ready to go, Cal?"

"No way! Dick promised me I could have whatever I wanted off the room service menu," Callie replied.

"I promised Emily here the same thing, and she didn't even have to sleep with me," Logan said. He put a finger to his chin. "Maybe I need to work on my negotiating skills."

"Wait a second," Emily said, turning to Logan. "Did you go to high school around here?"

"We sure did," Dick answered for him.

"Did you play any sports?" Emily asked. "I feel like maybe I saw you at, like, a track meet or something."

"Where'd you go to high school?"

"Pan High."

Dick burst out laughing. "You're a Peter Panner? And you actually admit that in public?"

Emily made a face at him. "So I guess that makes you two Neptune Goons?"

"Awww," Dick said. "Is that your cute little nickname for us?" He turned to Logan. "Great. Now we're gonna have to get the couch professionally cleaned."

She smirked at him. "Well, if you two _are_ from Neptune, I'm sure you can get one of your rich Daddy's to pay for it."

"Well that depends," Logan said speculatively. "Do Black Amex's still work from beyond the grave? I know the ads _say_ they go everywhere you go, but… I mean that would be pretty impressive."

"Huh?"

"His dad's dead," Dick told her. "And my dad's in jail, so… if you gave our couch lice, it's on your dime."

"What's he in jail for?" Callie asked a little nervously.

"Fraud."

"Oh good. That's just, like, taking people's money right?"

Dick shrugged. "Well, you know what they say," he told her. "'Behind every great fortune there is a crime.'"

Logan looked at him in amazement.

Dick grinned at him. "I read it in that Ballsack book you have." A horrified look suddenly crossed his face, and he turned to Callie. "Are _you_ from Pan too?"

Logan chuckled as Dick actually started to scratch his arms and chest.

"No," she laughed. "I'm from LA."

"Good. I haven't had my cootie shot since, like, kindergarten."

"It's probably time for a booster shot," Logan suggested. He turned to Emily. "Well if you really are from Pan, I guess it's a good thing that breakfast is on us. I try to do at least one charitable thing a day."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Jesus, it's like you guys think I'm homeless or something just because I don't drive a BMW."

"Well to be fair, you're wearing a flannel shirt, crashing on a strangers couch and reeking of booze," Logan pointed out. "It's easy to get confused."

Callie giggled again.

"Laugh it up, fuzzball," Emily said to her friend. "You're the one who spilled your drink on me last night."

"Yeah, maybe. But I think you spilled one or two on yourself, my friend," Callie returned.

"Sounds like a good night to me," Dick said.

"A _very_ good night," Callie replied, running her hand up his chest.

Emily turned to Logan, nodding her head towards Dick and Callie. "At least I never drink _that_ much."

"Please," Callie laughed. "You were bombed last night. But who cares? We were celebrating." She untangled herself from Dick and sat down next to Emily on the couch, throwing an arm around her shoulders. She looked over at Logan. "The guy she's been crushing on all semester told her that he's on a 'break' with his girlfriend. You guys know what _that_ means."

"Kiss of death," Dick said matter-of-factly.

"Okay, _first_ of all," Emily began, "I wasn't celebrating that. You were the one who decided that we needed to cheer to it every time you wanted to do a shot. Second, I don't think that they're definitely done just because they're taking a break. He's really into her. And third-"

"No, they're done," Dick said confidently. "Any time a girl says she wants a break, it just means she wants to screw someone else." He gestured to Logan. "Like you and Lilly."

"Thanks, dude."

"Hey, at least I never slept with her," Dick said pointedly.

Emily spoke up. "Yeah, but from the way he made it sound, I think it was kind of mutual."

"It's never mutual," Logan told her.

"Never," Dick agreed.

"That's what I said," Callie said enthusiastically. "I'm telling you girl, Piz is _totally_ into you."

Logan turned to her, his eyes wide. "Wait a minute. What did you just say?"

**A/N Please review :)**


	16. The Breaking of the Brat

**A/N Well I know I probably sound like a broken record, but thank you for all of the freaking AMAZING reviews! It's been a tough couple of weeks, so getting to read such positive feedback on the last chapter really meant a lot to me. I can't say it enough- you guys are the BEST.**

**Many of you have been vocal about how much you hate waiting between chapters, and believe me, I hate it too. But with all of the insanity going on in my life right now (planning a wedding, buying a house, changing careers, working 6 days a week), I wanted to tell everyone that it will be physically impossible for me to get these chapters up any faster than 3-4 weeks from now on. Believe me, I'm not happy about that either. And I will _always_ try to post faster than that. I'm just trying to be realistic.**

**To make things crazier for myself (why not?), I started a blog. It's just me doing what I do best- obsessing about the TV shows I love. If anyone is interested, there's a link to it on my profile page. I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, but I'm having fun. Check it out if you're bored, or if you just feel like stalking me. (I'm kidding about that last part.) (Really, please don't stalk me.) ;)**

**One note on the story: If you didn't pick up on it in Chapter 11, I did change the timeline slightly with when Veronica/Duncan and Lilly/Logan all got together. It was all very confusing on the show anyway, so I've simplified it for my purposes: Logan knew the Kane's before he moved to Neptune, and he moved there when he was 12. He turned 13 later that year. He and Lilly got together in the spring of the following year, and Duncan and Veronica got together shortly after that (just before the spring dance). Aside from birthdays, this is the only thing that I've changed from canon.**

**On a very personal note, this chapter is dedicated to the memory of my sister. She taught me that being different is a hell of a lot more fun than being normal, which is probably the most important lesson I've ever learned. And she encouraged my strange sense of humor from a very early age, having an equally unusual sense of humor herself. Tomorrow is the anniversary of her death. She would have loved VM, and been a total LoVe shipper. In fact, she probably would've smacked me for keeping V with Piz for so long (as I suspect many of you wanted to). ;)**

**Hope you all like this one…**

**Chapter 16**

Logan

"Wait a minute. What did you just say?" Logan stared at Callie, certain that he'd misheard the girl.

"Which part?" Callie asked, confused. "That I totally agree with you guys about it not being mutual?"

"No."

"That I know that he's into her?"

"No," Logan said shortly. It took everything inside of him not to get up and shake her. "_What's the name of the guy you're talking about?_"

"Piz?" Callie asked. She glanced at Emily, clearly taken aback by Logan's sudden interest in the topic.

_That's what I thought she said._

Logan rubbed his hand against the back of his neck absently, as he tried to wrap his mind around this new information. It was a gesture that he employed when he was particularly agitated, although he was entirely unaware of that fact. _I can't believe this is finally fucking happening. But when did all of this go down? And why hasn't she said anything to me about it yet?_

Emily frowned, looking from Callie to Logan. "Why? Do you guys know him or something?"

He stared at her, unsure how to respond. Her green eyes darted from him to Dick and back again, as she toyed with the bracelet on her left wrist. He could tell the idea made her nervous. _Of course. She's worried that we're friends with him, and now her secret is out._

Logan realized, suddenly, that he'd been unconsciously leaning forward to hear Callie's reply- his whole body tense with his desire to find out every single detail immediately. It took every ounce of self-control that he had, but Logan forced himself to relax his face into an expression of bored curiosity. He exhaled silently, dropping his left hand down onto his lap and sitting back fully on the couch.

He took a sip of espresso and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles. Then he glanced back at Emily with a shrug. "Barely."

"Wait," Dick spoke up, walking over to them. "Isn't that the dude Ronnie-"

"We have a mutual friend in common," Logan continued smoothly, speaking over him. He flashed Dick a warning look. Dick rolled his eyes, but kept silent.

"I forget how small this school is sometimes," Emily said sheepishly. "So you're not, like, friends?"

"Not remotely," Logan replied. He reached for the remote and flipped through the channels. He stopped on an infomercial for the Magic Bullet, too preoccupied to notice. "So they split up, huh?" he asked, staring at the television.

"No, not officially."

Logan glanced back over at her; he couldn't help himself. "But they're on a break?"

"That's what he told me," she replied, studying him carefully.

_A break. What the hell does that even _mean_? Emily insisted that it was mutual, but I don't buy that for a second. So is _Veronica_ the one who wanted this, or was it him? And why take a "break" instead of just breaking up?_ Logan considered Emily for a moment. She was watching him, too, but she seemed deep in thought.

_Did Veronica find out that Emily likes Piz? Or maybe she found out that Piz has a thing for Emily..? But _Emily_ seems to think that he's still into Veronica…which would mean _she_ was probably the one who wanted to take a break… And if that's the case, maybe it really does have something to do with me…_

Logan's head was spinning. There were a million things he wanted to ask; but he could tell Emily was growing suspicious of his interest. Despite his best efforts to pretend that he didn't give a shit about the subject matter, he knew that he wasn't succeeding. He just couldn't seem to muster up the disinterested attitude that usually came so easily to him. _But __it doesn't matter. She doesn't know anything else._

A knock on the door effectively ended the conversation anyway. It was room service with Emily's breakfast. Logan tipped the guy and handed Emily the plate. She spread a thin layer of butter across the bagel and took a small bite. "So," she said after she swallowed, "If you guys went to Neptune, do you know um, Eli Navarro?"

Logan stared at her. "Weevil? How do you know Weevil?"

Emily's phone rang before she could answer him. When she saw who was calling, she sighed and set her bagel down. Then she picked her phone up off of the coffee table, walking away from the others to answer the call.

"It's probably her dad," Callie stage-whispered to Logan. "He's _super _strict." A flirty smile played on her lips, and her eyes lingered on him for a moment. She dropped her gaze downward to his bare chest, not bothering to hide the fact that she liked what she saw. But then her eyes narrowed, and she looked at him more closely. "Wow, how'd you get all those scars?"

"I was attacked by a wild monkey in Sri Lanka," Logan replied distractedly, his thoughts still on Veronica. His answer to that question always varied, each one more outrageous than the last. He'd told Parker that he was mauled by an escaped polar bear at the San Diego Zoo. _But I'm pretty sure she actually believed me. __That girl had absolutely no sense of humor._

Callie giggled. "You're _too_ funny." She paused. "You weren't really, were you?" She didn't wait for a reply, instead reaching her index finger out towards the crescent-shaped scar on his left forearm. "Man, scars are _so_ sexy."

"Yeah," Logan said dryly. "They're fantastic." He moved his arm out of her reach.

Dick, oblivious to what was going on not five feet from where he was standing, flopped down onto the couch next to her. He eyed Emily's abandoned bagel with interest. "You still down for some breakfast?"

"Definitely!" Callie turned her head to smile brightly at Dick, then reached over to grab the menu off of the coffee table. "So what's good here?"

Before either of them could reply, Emily came back over. "We gotta go, Cal. I'm in deep shit."

Callie groaned, but stood up. "That sucks, I'm _starving_."

"I'm sorry. My dad's freaking out about me not coming home last night. He wants to talk to me before they go to church."

"People still go to church?" Dick asked.

Emily ignored him. "Do you have everything?"

"Yeah, I think so." Callie leaned down and gave Dick a kiss on the lips. "Call me." She glanced at Logan, making it clear that the offer stood for him, as well.

"You know it, hot stuff," Dick replied, smacking her on the ass.

Emily looked at Logan and rolled her eyes. She pulled on her jacket and glanced down at the ground. "If you happen to come across a necklace, could you let me know? I lost it last night. It's just a plain silver necklace with, like, a musical note charm; but it kind of has sentimental value."

Logan nodded. "Sure."

"Thanks." She gestured towards her barely eaten bagel. "Sorry I wasted your money on breakfast."

"Take it with you," he suggested.

"Um, okay, thanks." Emily grabbed the bagel off the plate and handed Callie the uneaten half. She glanced back over at Logan. "And thanks for letting me crash here."

"Not a problem. Good luck with that guy."

"Yeah. I guess we'll see what happens, huh?" Emily gave him a shrewd look and a little smile, and she and Callie headed out the door.

As soon as they were gone, Logan got up and started pacing back and forth between the couch and the balcony. _What the hell do I do? Do I call her? Do I go over to her dorm?_

"Dude, what's up with you?" Dick asked. He gestured towards Logan's espresso, now sitting on the coffee table. "You need to stop drinking that shit." He produced a rolled up plastic bag and a bowl from the pocket of his cargo shorts and started packing the bowl. "Me? I prefer something more… _soothing_, in the morning. Happy little trees."

Dick lit the bowl and inhaled deeply, holding it in for a few seconds before he let out the smoke in a big rush. "So they were talking about Ronnie's boyfriend, right? That Piz guy? You must be pretty stoked that they split up, huh?"

When Logan didn't answer him, he continued. "That Emily chick was hot. I wonder what she sees in him? He seems like kind of a dork to me." Dick took another hit, then continued speaking, still undeterred that he was receiving no response from Logan. "You think it's the whole musician thing? Probably. I bet that's what got Veronica all hot and bothered."

Logan stopped pacing to shoot him a disgusted look. Then he had a sudden thought and changed direction, heading back into his bedroom. He grabbed his phone off his nightstand and scrolled through his contacts until he found the person he was looking for. He walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch, listening impatiently to the ringing on the other end of the phone.

"Hello?"

"Mac. It's Logan. Can you swing by here for a minute?"

"Uh, sure. I'm actually right down the road. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to go over something with you."

"Okay. I'll be right over."

Logan hung up the phone and tossed it onto the couch.

Dick exhaled another cloud of smoke. "Mac's coming over?"

"Yeah. She'll be here in a minute."

Dick stood up and waved vaguely at the smoke. "Don't say anything about that chick being over here before, okay?"

Logan glanced at him. "Why?"

"I just don't want her to think I'm, like, a big slut," Dick replied, looking a little uncomfortable. "She knows I'm still married."

Logan laughed shortly. "Dude, I don't think Mac gives a shit about your sex life. Or your questionable morals." When Dick didn't say anything, Logan looked at him more closely. "You, uh, know she's with Gant, right?"

Dick shrugged. "Yeah, man, I know. It's not about that. Just don't say anything." Without another word, he walked back into his room and shut the door.

Logan stared at the TV for a few minutes, too agitated to wonder what was going on with Dick. An overly cheerful woman was mixing various recipes in something that looked like a blender, and everyone seemed incredibly excited about it. _What the hell am I watching? _

Before he had time to change the channel, he heard a knock on the door. He jumped up and went to answer it.

"Hey," Mac greeted him. "What's the emergency?" She walked inside the suite, her curious expression quickly replaced by amusement as she smelled the pot smoke. "Getting started a little early today, aren't we?" she teased.

Logan faced her, his hands on his hips. "So Veronica and Piz are on a break, huh?" he demanded. "What the _hell_, Mac? Why didn't you say anything to me?"

She sighed and sat down on the edge of the couch. "Because. Veronica's barely even said anything to _me_ about it. I mean, I had to find out from Wallace. It wasn't really my place to tell you."

"So what?" Logan asked, exasperated. "I thought you were on my side!"

"I'm trying not to be on _anyone's_ side," Mac corrected him. "And stop yelling."

He rolled his eyes at her, but lowered his voice before he continued. "Well when did this happen?"

"Before break."

"Over _two weeks_ ago?" Logan started to pace again as he thought about that. _So this whole time, the two of them have been basically split up- and yet Veronica hasn't said a word to me about it._ He stopped walking abruptly. _But Piz called her on Thanksgiving. So does that mean they're trying to work things out? She didn't look too happy during that conversation… or after it, now that I'm thinking about it._

He turned to face Mac, who was watching him warily. "Whose idea was it?"

"I think it was mutual."

Logan rolled his eyes. "It's never mutual. Come on, Mac. You gotta give me something."

"Honestly, Logan, I don't _know_ anything," Mac insisted.

"So what does this mean?" he asked her.

Mac shrugged. "I'm sorry, I really don't know." Her phone buzzed and she grabbed it out of her bag. She looked down at it for a long moment, then typed something into her phone's keypad and put it back in her bag. When Mac finally glanced back at Logan, she was chewing thoughtfully on her lower lip.

"What?" he asked.

"If I tell you, will you promise not to do anything stupid?"

"No."

Mac sighed, but answered him anyway. "I just got a text from Veronica. Her and Piz just broke up. Like, officially."

"Where is she?" Logan demanded.

When Mac didn't answer him, he headed for his room. He needed to throw on some clothes and find her, immediately. He felt a slight pressure on his arm and turned around, annoyed by the delay. Mac was standing in front of him with a determined look on her face.

"Logan. Let me just say _one thing_ before you rush out the door, okay?" she pleaded, her hand still on his arm.

"Fine, but make it snappy," he told her impatiently.

"Look, I know you're anxious to talk to her. But let me just ask you- why haven't you said anything to Veronica up to this point? Why haven't you told her how you feel about her yet?" Mac asked.

"Because I was waiting for her to come to me," Logan admitted grudgingly. "I thought she needed to figure out on her own that we're supposed to be together." He thought about that then, feeling a sudden weight of disappointment when he realized that she _hadn't_ come to him yet. In his mind, he'd always pictured her knocking on his door like she'd done before… her big blue eyes looking up at him imploringly. Proving that she really does love him, and miss him, and need him.

"Well, okay then," Mac said, speaking quickly. "Because that hasn't changed. You still need to wait for her to figure these things out before you go try and, like, swoop her up. I'm sure Veronica is really confused and freaked out right now, and she needs time to process things. This _just_ happened. You know her. If things happen before she's ready, she'll just freak out and push you away."

Mac took her hand off of Logan's arm. When he didn't leave immediately, it seemed to give her the confidence to continue. "Just have faith in her. She _will_ come around. Can you hang on for a little bit longer?"

Logan sighed heavily. He knew everything that Mac was saying made perfect sense, and that he should listen to her. _But I don't give a shit about rational right now._ He took another step towards his room.

Mac spoke up from behind him. "You remember when I told you about her nightmares? You asked me to tell you if they got worse?"

He stopped and turned towards her again. "Yeah…"

"Well they did. They got a lot worse. But before you get all pissed off at me for not telling you that, just listen. These last two weeks, since you guys have started hanging out more, they've magically disappeared again. Coincidence?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Logan crossed his arms and leaned against the wall behind him. "Okay, fine. You've made your point." He paused. "Can you at least tell me what she said in her text?"

"She didn't say much. Just that they broke up and she wants to talk to me. I told her I'd be there in a few minutes," Mac said. "I still don't know why they actually ended things."

_I wonder…_ Logan thought about that moment a couple of days ago, when he'd been talking to Veronica in Forbin Hall. He'd spotted Piz leaving a classroom down the hall from where they'd been standing. Piz hadn't seen them yet, but he was headed in their direction. The sight of him had made Logan suddenly and inexplicably angry. He knew that once Veronica spotted Piz, he'd take her away from him. Again.

Impulsively, Logan had stepped towards Veronica, not even sure what he was going to do at first. But when he saw Piz glance up at them, he'd figured it out. Logan had leaned forward and bent his head down towards Veronica, knowing _exactly_ what it would look like from a distance. _That's what you get for kissing my girl right outside of my room, you douche_.

Mac seemed to take his silence as disappointment, so she continued her pep talk. "This is a _good_ thing, Logan. This is what you wanted. Sure, we don't know why she broke up with him yet- but I think it's pretty safe to assume it had something to do with you. So I think you should stick to your original plan. Wait it out. Be patient."

Logan stared at her, his frustration mounting. "I just need to know what's going _on_," he said, throwing up his hands. He frowned. "You're gonna tell me, right?"

Mac hesitated for a few seconds. But something about the look on his face must have convinced her, because she caved. "Okay. I'll call you after I talk to her. But if she asks me not to say anything to you, I have to respect that."

Logan rolled his eyes, but nodded. As much as he needed to know more, he did understand the shitty situation that Mac was in. "Fine. Fair enough." He exhaled, running his hand across his forehead and through his hair. _So what now? If Veronica doesn't say anything to me, how am I going to pretend that I don't know? And when I see her… how am I going to stop myself from grabbing her, and pulling her into my arms…? I don't know if I can…_

Dick opened the door to his room and stepped into the living room. He'd added a t-shirt that read "If Zombies Chase Us, I'm Tripping You" and a pair of flip flops to his ensemble. He grinned when he saw Mac. "Macaroon!"

"Hey," Mac said. She turned back to Logan. "So we're good? You're not gonna do anything you're going to regret, right?"

Dick gave a knowing laugh. "Guess you heard the news about Ronnie and Piz bein' dunzo, huh?" he asked, flopping down onto the couch. "Don't worry. I won't let him do anything _too_ stupid."

"That's a comforting thought," Mac said dryly. "But I'm holding you to it. Keep him busy."

"You guys do realize that I'm still in the room, right?" Logan asked.

Mac ignored him and walked over to their extremely well-stocked liquor cabinet. She pulled out a bottle of rum, then grabbed a couple of plastic cups out of a different cabinet. "Can I borrow this stuff?"

"The plastic cups, you can have," Logan told her. "Explain the rum."

"I have a feeling it'll come in handy." Mac looked at her watch. "I better get going, I don't want to keep her waiting." She pointed to Dick. "_You_ take care of him. Okay?"

"I'm on it," Dick replied. When Mac turned away, he called after her. "Hey Mac?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is the rum gone?" he asked with a grin.

Mac laughed and shook her head. "I'll see you guys later."

Logan followed her as she walked towards the door. "So what do I do now? How am I supposed to act around her? Do I pretend I don't know what's going on?"

"For now, just wait, okay? Wait until she says something to you." Mac smiled at him. "I'll call you later."

Logan nodded. But inside, he knew that waiting for Veronica was the hardest thing he'd ever done. And he wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to hold out.

**xxXxx**

Veronica

Veronica had spent the whole morning at Dog Beach, thinking. When the sun had started to beat down on her, she'd moved back to the bench where she and Piz had broken up. _Back to the scene of the crime._ It felt weird sitting there. She knew she'd never look at that bench quite the same way again. But it was in the shade, and it offered a clear view of the parking lot.

After what felt like hours, she spotted Mac's green VW Bug, pulling into the lot. Veronica stood up and walked towards her. Mac got out of her car, holding a white plastic bag in one hand. When she looked up and saw Veronica, she gave her a sympathetic smile.

Mac met Veronica halfway and gave her a one-armed hug. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for meeting me here."

"Of course," Mac said. "I come bearing gifts."

She opened the bag and Veronica looked inside; she glimpsed a bottle of rum, a couple of plastic cups and a few cans of Coke. She chuckled and shook her head. "You do realize that it's not even noon yet, right?"

Mac shrugged. "Ah, who cares? We're in college. And I think the situation calls for a couple of drinks."

"Agreed."

"Excellent. Follow me," Mac instructed. She led Veronica back onto the beach and down towards the pier. They sat down in the sand, the shadow of the pier above them providing an ample amount of shade. It was a secluded spot where they weren't likely to get hassled by anyone. Mac poured the drinks and handed one to Veronica, who took a long sip.

"Mmm. That's yummy," she said. She managed a smile for Mac, truly grateful that her friend was there, offering her support. "Thanks."

"So do you want to talk about it?" Mac asked.

Veronica picked up a handful of sand, watching as it fell through her fingers. "Yeah. I do." She brushed her hand against her jeans, loosening the excess sand, and looked at Mac. "I feel terrible. Piz was _so angry_ with me. I've never seen him like that before. And the worst part is, he was totally justified." She shook her head. "I came here expecting to break up with him. I had this whole speech planned out, you know? I thought- I don't know, I thought he'd be… Piz. But he was like a stranger."

Mac nodded. "I can relate to that," she said quietly. She held up her plastic cup and Veronica tapped it; they both drank deeply.

Veronica could already feel a nice, hazy warmth spreading through her. She'd eaten nothing all day, and she knew the alcohol was going to hit her quickly. She looked out towards the ocean as she spoke, her thoughts far away. "It's my fault. I know it's my fault. I guess I hoped that eventually, my feelings for him would develop into… something more. And then we'd have a normal, healthy relationship."

She paused and glanced at Mac. "But there's nothing healthy about trying to force something that just isn't there." _There's nothing healthy about getting involved with someone when you're still in love with another man. _She took another sip of her drink. "I wanted so badly for this to work that… I guess I sort of convinced myself that it _was_ working. I convinced myself that the lack of… passion was okay. That it was proof that what we had was 'mature'."

"Because you guys didn't fight?" Mac asked, her voice gentle.

"Yeah. I mean that's supposed to be a good thing, right? We _didn't_ fight. He _didn't _make me cry. He _wasn't_ constantly on my mind. I didn't want to… _hit_ something every time I saw him talking to another girl." Veronica took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She didn't know if it was the drink or the fact that she'd just gotten dumped, but she suddenly felt very weighed down by all of the secrets she'd been keeping. She took a couple of sips of her drink and adjusted her body so that she was facing Mac. "I'm still in love with Logan," she announced.

"Duh," Mac replied.

Veronica hadn't been expecting that response. Aside from being surprised at Mac's _lack_ of surprise, it was such a Lilly thing to say. It struck her then, just how close she and Mac had become over these past few years. She knew that Lilly could never be replaced, and she'd certainly never been trying to replace her. But Mac shared an equal place in her heart now, just like Wallace did. _And I think Lilly would approve._ She felt a little bit lighter, suddenly. "Is it that obvious?"

"Um, yeah. But only because I know you so well." Mac looked at her thoughtfully. "Is that why you broke up with Piz?"

"Well, technically he broke up with me. But yeah." Veronica's voice grew quiet again, and she looked down at the ground. "You know, maybe if Logan wasn't still a part of my life, I could have made things work with Piz. But being around him all of the time- I could just _feel_ how different it was. Little things, and… bigger things. Logan understands me in this way that no one else does. I feel… drawn to him. It wasn't like that with Piz, no matter how much I wished it could be. We spoke, but we didn't really _talk_. We had sex because we wanted to, not because we _needed_ to.

"It's like I can't move on. And I know it's because I see Logan all of the time, but… I still want him in my life. Even if it means that I can't move forward." Veronica shrugged. "It's like I'm at an impasse. I don't want to avoid Logan. I don't want to stop being friends with him. But it's really tough sometimes, being so close to him. The worst part is, I know how insane this is. Piz is cute, and sweet, and smart. He treated me with respect, he didn't lie to me, he's never done anything to hurt me… Do you know how many women would _kill_ to be in a relationship with a guy like him?" She shook her head. "But it's just not enough when you've felt…"

"True love?" Mac interjected with a wry smile.

Veronica exhaled. "Yeah. Because now that I know the difference, I can't accept anything less."

Both girls were silent for several moments, as they stared out at the ocean and sipped their drinks. Mac sighed deeply and turned towards Veronica. "I'm falling in love with Casey," she confided. "But I'm trying_ really_ hard not to."

Veronica nodded. "It's terrifying."

"Yeah."

"And we're too young for this shit, right?" Veronica asked, raising her voice.

"Ex_act_ly," Mac agreed vehemently.

"We're supposed to be career girls, damn it. Not 09er trophy wives."

"Hear hear!"

The girls tapped their cups together again and finished their drinks. They were both quiet as Mac fixed them each a fresh one. _I wonder what Logan's up to right now…_ Veronica looked out at the ocean, focusing on the two surfers that she could see. She knew neither one was him- Logan never bothered to surf unless it was close to high tide. _So does that mean he's home? Should I give him a call? Or maybe he called me…_

Veronica dug her phone out of her pocket. When she saw movement out of the corner of her eye and caught Mac doing the same thing, she burst out laughing. "We're so screwed," she announced.

"Yup," Mac agreed with a sigh. She looked at Veronica. "I think you need to talk to Logan."

Veronica had been thinking about that all morning. But she knew that it was too soon. She knew that it wouldn't be fair to Logan. She needed time to heal from her broken relationship. _I already miss Piz. Not as a boyfriend, but as a friend. And aside from that, the thought of Logan rejecting me… I couldn't handle that right now._ She shook her head at Mac. "Just because I'm incapable of moving on doesn't mean that he has to be, too."

Mac looked at her intently. She took a couple of sips from her drink, then finally spoke. "Veronica, how can you be so observant when it comes to _everything in the world_ except yourself? I _know_ he still loves you."

"How?" Veronica demanded. "How do you know?"

Mac sighed. "I can't- just trust me, okay?"

Veronica looked at Mac, studying her face carefully. _Logan isn't exactly the type to confide his feelings to someone else. But they _have_ gotten really close. Does she know something? Has Logan said anything to her about me?_ She chose her words carefully. "Okay, let's just say you're right and he does still have feelings for me. That still doesn't mean that we should jump right into this again. First of all, I _just_ got out of a relationship- and in the process, lost a really good friend. I think I need to give myself a little time to deal with that."

Mac nodded. "I completely agree with you. But-"

"And second," Veronica continued, "Logan and I have done this before. Why should I expect it to work this time around? I mean, have you ever heard the phrase 'fifth time's the charm'?"

Mac laughed. "No. But I'll tell you why it'll work. It's because Logan and Veronica 5.0 is finally a stable operating system."

"Huh?"

"Look," Mac said. "Let's just go through this one by one. Why did you break up the first time?"

"I…had him arrested for murder," Veronica admitted quietly, ashamed to say it out loud.

Mac stared at her. "You two have very… _different_ issues than most couples. Do you realize that?" She shook her head in disbelief, but continued on doggedly. "Okay, the second time?"

Veronica took a sip of her drink. "He set the public pool on fire. And the PCHers retaliated by shooting at us while we were making out in the back seat of his car. And…" _And I was falling in love with him, and it terrified me. _She cleared her throat. "He was just out of control, and it was scaring me."

"Third?"

She hesitated, taking another long sip of her drink. This one was tougher to answer. The memory of Logan breaking up with her was still incredibly painful, even after all of this time. "He told me that he couldn't stand on the sidelines and do nothing when I put myself in danger. He told me that he was tired of feeling like he didn't measure up to what I wanted him to be. He said… that we should break up before it became unbearable." _And he was right. But I couldn't let it go. I couldn't let _him_ go._

"Fourth?"

This one, she'd already told Mac about. But she answered her anyway. "Because I couldn't get past him sleeping with Madison while we were split up."

Mac nodded. "Okay, let's start with number one. Do you still think he killed someone?"

Veronica gave her a look. "Of course not. I was a mess back then."

"Great. Moving on. Is he still out of control?"

Veronica had been thinking about that one all morning, too. "I know he's grown up a lot," she answered slowly. "But he still has that inside of him- that angry, violent side."

"I agree," Mac said. "But at least his heart is usually in the right place."

Veronica nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Okay, and how do you feel about allowing him to protect you? Keeping him in the loop when you're involved in a case that might be dangerous?"

Veronica was fiercely independent. Not only was she aware of it, but she knew that it was an aspect of her personality that was never going to change. She didn't relish the idea of someone hovering over her while she was trying to work. Or worse, preventing her from doing her job completely. _But would it be the worst thing in the world if Logan came with me, sometimes?_

_Where would I be if he hadn't ignored my instructions, that day at the River Styx? At least the shamrock tattoo on my cheek would have been an interesting conversation piece. And what about that night in the parking garage? Between the shaved head and the tattoo, I would have been a dead ringer for Sinead O'Connor. And then, of course, there was the night on the roof of the Grand. He saved my life that night. No question._ She focused back on Mac. "I think I could live with that," she admitted.

Mac shifted her weight, seeming uncomfortable. "And Madison? Have you gotten past it now?"

"Yes," Veronica replied quickly. She took a deep breath, and decided she may need to amend that statement. "I'm working on it." _But what about all of these other women? I hear rumors about him on campus constantly… Granted, his "relationship" with Heather was a figment of my imagination. But there have definitely been others. That girl Ashlee at Mac's birthday party, Vikki from the Registrar's office, and the girl Wallace told me he left with the night of his birthday party… the same night he asked me for a kiss. Doesn't that prove that he's moved on? _

_At least there doesn't seem to be anyone serious. Not since Parker. Not that I know about, anyway. God, I would hate it if he started dating someone else._ She took another sip of her drink, really starting to feel the effects now. _I know he didn't like me and Piz being together, in the beginning. But he hasn't seemed too bothered about it, these last few months. Logan's made it clear that he doesn't like him, but I knew that already. I think, maybe, a part of me was hoping that it still bothered him. That would have been proof that he still cared about me… _

"Well that sounds like progress to me," Mac said, jarring her out of her own thoughts. She finished off her second drink. "That's what I meant about being stable before. Maybe you never worked out the kinks because you guys never actually _dealt_ with any of your issues before. You kept jumping back into a relationship with each other again, hoping things would just, like, magically work themselves out."

Veronica stared at her. _Jesus, she's right. _Her mind went back to the night Aaron had been arrested for Lilly's murder._ Logan came to my door all bloody and bruised… I was so worried about him, but so happy to see him there… I told him to come in, and- that was it. We were dating again. We never even talked about the fact that I'd accused him of both rape _and_ murder in a matter of a couple of weeks._

_After he saved me on graduation night, I was so grateful that he'd been there for me, and so thrilled to have him back in my arms that I… just sort of glossed over the fact that we'd been pretty horrible to each other all year. We never talked about Duncan, we never talked about Kendall, we never talked about that awful day after the Alterna Prom. We both just pretended that we'd never been apart. _

_Then, the night I went to his suite last semester… we had each other's clothes off inside of a minute. We spent that whole night, well- naked. There hadn't been time for talking. And then, by the light of day, it hadn't seemed necessary. But it was. Nothing had changed since Logan had broken up with me. All of the problems were still there. But we ignored them. Again. _

"You're right," she finally said aloud. She finished her drink, amazed by her revelation. "You're absolutely right. You are a freaking genius, my friend. Do you know that? We're doomed to fail."

"Geesh," Mac said. "Your glass isn't just half empty. There's only, like, one sip left."

Veronica laughed and held out her cup. "Actually, there are no sips left. I need a refill please, bartender."

Mac smiled, but she gently took the cup out of Veronica's hand. "I think maybe we need to get some food in you first," she suggested. "Let's walk over to Ocean Ave and grab a bite somewhere, okay?"

"Food is good," Veronica agreed. She started to stand up, and promptly fell back down on her butt. She laughed. "I fell."

"Oh boy. This should be interesting." Mac held out her hand and pulled Veronica up, then steadied her as she wobbled dangerously. She grabbed the plastic bag off the ground and put her other arm around Veronica's waist. The two girls walked slowly down the beach that way, silent for a few minutes.

"Mac?" Veronica asked. "Do you think Piz will hate me forever?"

"No," Mac said. "I don't think Piz could ever hate you."

"He does," Veronica said matter-of-factly. "It makes me sad."

"I think he just needs some time." Mac paused. "Do you really think you and Logan are doomed to fail?"

Veronica watched her sneakered feet as they trudged through the sand, slightly amazed that she was moving at all. Her whole body felt warm and languid. It reminded her of the way she'd always felt after spending the night with Logan. She smiled. "No," she replied. "I think we'll figure it out, eventually. As long as he's still willing to try."

She glanced at Mac, who was biting her lip on a smile. Veronica stopped walking. "You can't say anything to him, okay? About the way I feel about him." Her blue eyes locked with Mac's. "Promise?"

Mac's smile faded, but she nodded. "Okay," she agreed. "I promise. But you really do need to talk to him."

"I will," Veronica said. "I just need a little more time."

**xxXxx**

Mac

The following Friday, Mac was laying down on her stomach trying to study when there was a knock at the door.

"Thank you, whoever you are," Mac muttered to herself as she put her text book down. She stretched her neck to one side and got up off her bed to answer the door. Much to her surprise and delight, Casey was standing outside of her room.

He was wearing a dark grey suit and holding out a brown paper bag. "I brought you some study food."

Mac pulled him inside without a word and kissed him deeply. "You are the most amazing person in the world, do you know that? This is so _exactly_ what I needed." She gave him one more kiss, then stepped away. She glanced at her alarm clock. "What are you doing here so early?" she asked. "I thought you had that big meeting today?"

Casey smiled at her and set the bag down on her desk. Once his hands were free, he put them on her hips and drew her in for another kiss. "I do. But I missed you, so I blew it off." He kissed her on the forehead, then again on the lips.

"Mmm," Mac responded, momentarily distracted by the sensation of his fingers running across the back of her neck. She looked up at him. "Won't you get in trouble?"

Casey shrugged. "Nah. I told Todd to run it. Besides, the only one who can fire me is, you know, me. So I think I'm all good." He held her close, placing soft kisses down her neck. "I haven't seen you all week. I wanted to make sure some smooth-talking frat boy hadn't stolen you away from me."

She laughed and separated herself from him, reaching over to grab the bag off of the desk. "So what do we have in here?"

"Mexican. Is that okay?"

"Perfect."

Mac sat back down on her bed and Casey sat down at her desk chair, rolling it closer to the bed so he was facing her. She opened up the bag and stared down into it for a minute. She glanced back at Casey curiously, reaching in to pull out the black velvet box that was sitting on top of the Styrofoam containers.

Casey grinned at her. "Open it."

Mac opened the box up wordlessly. Inside was a necklace- it looked silver, but knowing Casey, it was undoubtedly white gold. Attached to the necklace was a dime-sized skull and crossbones pendant. It was accented with dark, sparkling stones on the bones and the eyes of the skull, and clear stones around the head of the skull. It was one of the coolest things Mac had ever seen.

"Please tell me those are rhinestones," she said.

Casey shrugged. "Okay. They're rhinestones."

"They're not rhinestones, are they?"

"No. They're black and white diamonds." He looked at her closely. "Do you like it? I noticed you wear a lot of t-shirts that have that design, so I had it made for you." Casey cleared his throat. "But if you don't like it, just say the word. If you'd rather have, like, a heart pendant or something…"

She glanced up at him and made a face. "A heart?" she asked, disgusted.

Casey laughed easily. "I knew that would get your attention. Seriously, babe, if you don't like it-"

"I do," Mac told him. "I love it. I just… I just sometimes feel bad that I can't give you things like this in return."

He leaned forward and stroked the side of her face. "Well the last thing I want is for you to feel bad. That's not why I give you things. I give you things to make you feel good. I see things that remind me of you, or things I think you'd like, and I want to get them for you. I want to make you happy."

Mac smiled at him, truly touched by his words. "And I love that. I do. It's just frustrating for me, sometimes, because I wish I was able to do the same for you."

Casey shook his head. "I don't need anything else. Just being around you is plenty." Mac opened her mouth to protest, but he pressed a finger to her lips and continued. "Listen, I didn't do a thing to deserve this money. My grandmother was the one who built the company up from the ground. My inheriting it was just the luck of the draw. Things could just as easily be reversed. _You_ could be the one with the money. And if that were the case, wouldn't you want to spend it on me?"

"Maybe," Mac teased. "If you were behaving yourself." Although she'd kept her answer light-hearted, she couldn't help thinking about the hand that _she'd_ gotten dealt. _I should have been a Sinclair; then I _would_ have had money. And things wouldn't feel so uneven, with me and Casey._ She glanced up at him. _I need to tell him the truth about my family. I need to get this off my chest._

But Casey was taking the jewelry box from her and unclasping the necklace. He gestured for her to turn around, and he placed it around her neck. She ran her finger over the pendant and smiled at him. "Thank you."

He leaned over and kissed her on the lips. "You're welcome. But next time, just let me spoil you without protest. Okay?"

Mac nodded. "Okay."

Casey took the bag from her and opened up a Styrofoam container. He handed it to her, then opened up one for himself. They spent a few minutes eating, catching up between bites. But as soon as Mac was done eating, Casey set their leftover food down on the desk and sat down next to her on the bed.

"So how's the studying going?" he asked, picking up her World History textbook. He flipped through the text. "I have to say, I don't miss this part of school."

Mac smiled at him, but didn't answer. She couldn't concentrate on schoolwork right now, not with Casey sitting so close to her. She reached up to fix the collar of his white button down shirt, letting her hand run down his chest, appreciating the softness of the silk. Mac shook her head at him. "My _god_ you look good in a suit," she said.

Casey smiled, but placed his hand over hers. "I'm distracting you. You need to study."

"You really think I care about the governing bodies of Ancient Greece right now?" Mac asked, pulling her hand out from below his. "There's only one body that interests me at the moment." She untucked his shirt and ran her hands up his bare chest- something she knew drove him insane. After just a few seconds, Casey inhaled sharply and pulled her close to him. They fell backwards onto her bed; her textbooks hit the floor in a series of loud thumps.

Mac was straddling him and Casey was pulling her shirt off, when she heard the doorknob rattling. Before they had time to situate themselves, Veronica walked in the door. Her mouth dropped when she saw them, and she immediately cupped one hand to the side of her face to shield her eyes from them.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said quickly, hurrying over to her side of the room. "I just need my bag, and I'll be out of your hair."

Mac yanked her shirt back down and sat upright on her bed, blushing fiercely. She glanced at Casey, who was smiling as he re-buttoned his own shirt. She shook her head at him, slightly jealous at his ability to remain so unflustered in virtually every situation.

He cleared his throat, addressing Veronica. "Don't be silly, this is your room," he told her calmly. He slipped his suit jacket back on and turned to Mac. "I need to get back to work, and you need to get back to studying." Casey kissed her on the lips, then leaned in closer. "But maybe we can finish this study session later?" he whispered.

"Um, absolutely," she agreed, still flushed.

He stood up and said his goodbyes, over Veronica's adamant protests that she was leaving anyway. When he was gone, Mac lay back down on her bed to catch her breath. _Damn what that boy does to me._ After a few minutes, she got up and walked over to Veronica's side of the room.

Veronica had her phone up to her ear, but she covered the receiver to whisper, "I'm _so_ sorry Mac."

"It's no big deal," Mac told her. She'd just turned away to give Veronica privacy, when she heard Veronica start speaking in her regular voice.

"Um, hey Logan. It's me again. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sending you over an e-mail with all of the stuff we went over in class this week. I know I shouldn't be giving you an edge on our bet, but I figured you needed all the help you could get. I, uh, hope everything is okay. Call me if you have any questions."

Mac turned around slowly. "Still no luck getting in touch with Logan, huh?" she asked casually. She, of course, knew exactly why Logan wasn't returning any of Veronica's calls. But she couldn't very well tell Veronica that.

Veronica sighed. "No. I'm getting a little worried about him, to be honest. I mean, he knew Professor Jayne was going over all of the stuff for the final. Why would he miss that? He hasn't missed class all semester. I even stopped by the suite after he didn't show up to class again yesterday, but Dick said he was out. Have you heard from him this week?"

"Yeah, I saw him in class on Wednesday. He was fine. Look, don't worry about it," Mac suggested. "I'm sure something just came up."

"I don't know," Veronica said, frowning. "I feel like he's avoiding me." She sighed again. "And speaking of avoiding me, I haven't seen Piz since last weekend. Wallace told me he's barely seen him either. He said when he gets up in the morning, Piz is already gone."

Mac didn't say anything. She _had_ seen Piz, the day before. _And he wasn't looking so hot. But the last thing Veronica needs is to feel any worse about that situation than she already does._ "He'll be okay, Veronica. Try not to worry about it."

Veronica nodded. "I'm trying. Sorry I interrupted you guys. I really was just coming in to get my bag. I didn't think Casey'd be here." She stood up and slung her bag across her shoulders. "I'm heading over to the office to help Weevil out on a case. If your boy toy swings by later, throw a towel on the door knob like a proper college girl, will you?" She winked at Mac and headed out the door.

Not thirty seconds later, Mac's cell phone rang. She looked down to see that it was Logan, and rolled her eyes._ I swear, the two of them are driving me _insane _this week._ She pressed the answer button and spoke into the phone. "I think you have the wrong number, Logan. You should be calling my _roommate_, not me."

"Enough of your lip. What's the word?"

"The word is avoidance. As in, stop doing that." Mac noticed what time it was and sat down at her desk. She opened up her laptop and clicked on the GPS icon. "Seriously, Logan. She left you a message, like, two seconds ago. But instead of calling _her_ back, you call me? Quit playing games."

"I'm not playing a game," Logan insisted defensively. "I just know that I can't be trusted around her right now. So how is she?"

"She's fine, aside from being worried about you."

"She's worried about me, huh?" he asked, sounding pleased. "She stopped over here last night. She told Dick she wanted to drop off some notes, but I wonder…"

Logan continued talking, but Mac was no longer paying attention. She'd just seen something truly alarming on her computer. "Uh, Logan, I gotta go," she interrupted. "I'll call you later, okay?"

He sighed but said goodbye, and Mac stood up quickly. She grabbed her purse and jacket and headed out the door.

**xxXxx**

Mac had almost reached her destination. She slowed a bit as she drove down the street. It was dusk, and she wasn't in the greatest neighborhood. She wanted to make sure she didn't miss her turn and end up in some dead-end alley. _I'm sure she's not _actually_ at the Roadhog. Because that would be insane. She's probably just at, like, a nail salon across the street or something. _But when Mac saw the neon sign announcing that she'd arrived at the infamous biker bar, she noticed right away that Madison's brand new BMW was indeed parked in the lot.

She pulled into an empty spot facing the bar and turned her engine off, but didn't get out of the car. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. _What the hell are you doing here, Madison? There was a freaking stabbing here just last week._ Mac opened her eyes and looked at the bar, straining to see inside. But the ominous red glow coming from within prevented her from seeing anything clearly. She knew better than to go inside by herself, but she had to make sure that Madison was okay. Mac grabbed her phone and made a call. _I just hope she's wearing that necklace today._

The particular type of bug Veronica had loaned her was the newest technology in the spy biz. Veronica had instructed her on how to use it. All she had to do was dial a particular number on her phone, and she'd instantly tap into the listening device she'd planted in Madison's locket. The benefit of this, Veronica had explained, was that she could limit her surveillance to specific times, thus saving the battery life. Otherwise, she'd have to continuously replace the bug; Mac had known that wasn't a possibility.

She plugged her phone into her charger and turned the speaker on. It took a second, but she suddenly heard muffled music and the sound of a man speaking. He had a deep, raspy voice and she could hear him very clearly. "They say the worm gives you magical power. Like a _bruja_."

And then came a female voice, a bit louder, but slightly slurred. "That's a witch, right?" She laughed. "Does that mean I could put a curse on people I don't like?"

"You could do anything you wanted to, baby. All you gotta do is get to the end of the bottle with me. Whoever takes the last shot gets the prize. _Comprendes_?"

"You're on," Madison said.

She heard the unmistakable sound of kissing, and then a moan. _Oh boy._ Mac got out of her car and walked rapidly over to the window of the bar, glancing around her cautiously as she did. She peeked through the window. There was Madison, her tongue shoved down the throat of a very scary looking biker. She was practically straddling the guy, right at the bar.

Mac hurried back to her car and got in, locking the door. She ended the phone call and hastily dialed another number. She tapped her foot as the phone rang, impatient to go back to listening in case something was happening.

"Hello?"

"Veronica, I need your help. Can you meet me at the Roadhog?" Mac paused. "And can you bring Weevil with you?"

**xxXxx**

As soon as Mac saw Veronica's Saturn pulling into the lot, she got out of her car and walked over to them. Veronica got out of her car quickly as well, the curiosity blatant on her face. Weevil followed close behind her, his eyes scanning the parking lot as he walked.

Mac sighed. She hadn't been looking forward to this part. "Veronica, I did something I'm not proud of."

"Please tell me it doesn't involve one of the patrons of _that_ establishment," she replied.

"No, nothing like that. I… I told Madison the truth. About our parents."

"Okay…"

"And she didn't take it well," Mac continued. "She's kind of been- spiraling out of control, actually. So I've been keeping an eye on her. More specifically, I've been tracking her."

"_That's_ what you wanted the bug for?" Veronica asked incredulously. "For _Madison_?"

"Yes. Listen, before you freak out, you should know what's going on. She's in there, just bombed off her ass. She's wearing a skirt about four inches long and having a drink-off with this dude who looks- well, a little like Weevil." She turned to him. "No offense."

"Please, I'm flattered," Weevil said. "But, uh, you should know. This ain't exactly news. She's kind of been making the rounds lately."

Veronica looked from Mac to Weevil. "What do you mean?"

"Let's just say she's becoming something of a household name in my neighborhood," Weevil replied with a grin. He turned back to Mac. "Do you know who she's talking to? I know you white girls always assume every guy with brown skin and tattoos is nothin' but trouble, but _some_ of us happen to have hearts of gold."

Veronica rolled her eyes at him. "Did you hear a name?" she asked Mac.

"No," Mac replied. "But she keeps talking about how cool the cobra tattoo on the guy's neck is."

"Weevil," Veronica began, her hands clasped together as though in prayer, "_please _tell us that Mr. Cobra is one of your homeboys with a heart of gold, so we can all go home."

He sighed. "Well I hate to be the one to confirm a stereotype, but that par_tic_ular Mexican really _is_ bad news. That's Snakes Gonzalez."

"_Snakes_," Veronica quoted dramatically. "Why did it have to be _Snakes_?"

Weevil glanced at the bar with a frown. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but we should probably get Madison out of there. His last girlfriend sort of… disappeared."

"Did they ever find her?" Mac asked worriedly.

"Parts of her." Weevil turned back to the two girls, looking at them thoughtfully. "If you guys come in with me, no one will mess with you. But I suggest you both put on your jackets. The less skin you show in there, the better. I'll distract him while you two get her out of there."

Mac glanced at Veronica, who looked like she was about to protest the plan. But the serious expression on Weevil's face seemed to convince her that something needed to be done. Veronica shook her head. "I can't believe I'm doing this." She pulled her jacket on, zipped it up and walked towards the bar with Weevil and Mac.

As soon as they entered the bar, Weevil threw an arm around each of them. Mac found herself huddling closer to him. She discovered that the eerie red light she'd seen from the outside was emanating from several neon _Dos Equis_ signs hung on the wall. The bar smelled strongly of stale beer, and every person in there was staring at them.

Weevil wasted no time heading over to the bar, and they had no choice but to walk with him. Now that Mac was closer, she could clearly see that the bald Mexican seated at the bar had an enormous tattoo of a cobra wrapped around his neck. Madison was sitting next to him, but she was slumped over in her stool and didn't appear to have recognized them.

"Weevil," Snakes nodded at him solemnly. They gave each other a brief, one armed hug. "Haven't seen you here in a while. I hear you a little churchboy now, eh ese?" He laughed at his own joke.

"Tryin' to keep my nose clean," Weevil shrugged. "You know how it is."

Madison got up then and stumbled towards the bathroom. She still made no sign that she'd noticed them. Snakes ignored her, focusing instead on Weevil. Mac and Veronica glanced at each other.

Weevil nodded his head towards Madison's empty bar stool. "That gringa is bad news, homes. She used to run around with my cousin Chardo. You remember?"

Snakes downed a shot of tequila and poured another from the bottle the bartender had left for him. "I remember he was tappin' some fine blonde ass." He glanced towards the bathroom. "That was her?"

"Yeah, ese," Weevil replied, his voice low. "Blondie got him into all _kinds_ of trouble. It's why he had to skip town."

"What, he knock her up? I heard she was a little pisona." He laughed raucously, elbowing Weevil in the side. "These bitches ain't nothing but trouble." He glanced at Veronica and Mac appreciatively. "But it looks like you doing okay, huh?"

Before he had time to respond, Snakes started to laugh again. He threw an arm around Weevil's shoulder. "Do a shot with me."

Veronica tapped Mac on the arm and gestured towards the bathroom. Mac could tell that her friend wanted them to make their move while Snakes was distracted. They walked across the bar quickly. She could hear Snakes uproarious laughter break out once again just before they reached the bathroom; she hoped Weevil was still holding his own.

"He's certainly cheerful," Veronica muttered.

"Um, are you as sketched out as I am right now?" Mac whispered.

"Oh yeah."

The two girls entered the bathroom, which was unlocked. Madison looked up at them through the mirror as they walked in. "Look who it is," she slurred. "Veronica Mars. Just as pasty as ever." Madison smiled at her own cleverness, but her victory was short-lived. She covered up her mouth and rushed over to the toilet.

Veronica rolled her eyes, but joined Mac as she walked over to the girl. Mac reached down and pulled Madison's hair out of the way as she threw up, patting her back awkwardly with her free hand. When Madison was finished, she helped her up. Veronica wet a paper towel and handed it silently to Mac, who wiped it across the girl's face. Madison didn't protest, possibly because her eyes were closed and she barely looked conscious.

Mac turned to Veronica. "We need to get her the hell out of here."

Veronica nodded. "Let's go. As fast as we can, without calling attention to ourselves. Ready?"

They headed out the door, sharing Madison's weight between them. Weevil glanced over at them as they passed by, nodding slightly to indicate he'd follow when he could. Although she slowed them down a bit, they were able to make it across the bar and out the door without Snakes noticing. Mac sighed in relief when they stepped outside. She could feel Madison starting to convulse again, and she and Veronica hurried the girl over to the edge of the parking lot.

This time, Veronica held Madison's hair back while she got sick. "I seriously can't believe I'm doing this. I would have bet someone, like, ten _billion_ dollars that this day would never, _ever_ come."

"Do you think we need to get her to a hospital?" Mac asked nervously.

"Probably not. It's actually a good sign that she's throwing up. But we definitely need to get her home." Veronica made a face. "So here's an even more important question: which one of us gets to drive her out of here? Or should we flip for it?"

"I'll do it," Mac offered. "I do know her parents, after all."

"Okay. I think I still have a roll of garbage bags in my trunk from the last time I moved. Maybe you can lay them down in your back seat in case she pukes all over the place," Veronica suggested.

"That would be awesome. Can you-"

"What are you doing here, _Veronica_?" Madison spoke up suddenly, lifting her head to look at her. Her eyes narrowed. "Did you already fuck your way through all of the guys at Hearst? You're not happy until you get what _I_ want, are you?"

Veronica glared at Madison, then turned back to Mac. "Remind me again why I'm helping her?"

"Because you're a good person," Mac said. "I'm sorry I had to ask you to come here. I know how you feel-"

"Disgusting _whore_," Madison slurred, her voice dripping with venom.

Veronica took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then opened them and turned to Mac. "Can you handle this… _thing _on your own for a few minutes? I'll go take care of your car."

"Yes," Mac answered apologetically, handing Veronica her car keys. "Go."

Madison laughed as Veronica walked away. But after a moment, she stopped laughing abruptly and started to throw up again. When she was done, she tried to stand up straight, but stumbled. Mac reached out and held onto her, steadying her. She glanced back at the bar, hoping that Weevil would come out soon so they could all get out of there.

"What the hell are you doing here, anyway?" Madison demanded angrily, having a sudden lucid moment. "And what the hell is Veronica _Mars_ doing here? Why is she _always_ around?" A few seconds later, her anger seemed to have disappeared. She started giggling. "Mac," she said confidentially. "Do you know I fucked her boyfriend?"

**xxXxx**

Veronica

Mac had left the speaker phone on in her car, clearly broadcasting her current conversation with Madison. Veronica was valiantly trying to ignore both the bitter words and the vomit spewing from Madison's mouth. She tried instead to concentrate on her task of unrolling plastic bags, and laying them across Mac's back seat. But when she heard Madison's giggling confession about Logan, her breath caught and she stopped what she was doing.

"I _so_ don't need to hear this," Mac said back.

Veronica took a deep breath. _And neither do I_. She ducked out of the back seat and opened up Mac's driver side door. As she was reaching across to turn off Mac's phone, Madison spoke again.

"Did you know," she asked, "that Lilly Kane was _my_ best friend first?"

Veronica's hand paused centimeters from the off button. She listened intently as Madison continued.

"Of course not. _Nobody_ remembers that. Because Veronica Mars came along, and Lilly dropped me like last years Coach bag. Veronica Marssss," she said stupidly.

_Is that true? Was Lilly best friends with Madison before me?_ Veronica tried to remember, but it was so long ago. _I remember Madison hanging around us a lot, but I never thought about her too much one way or the other. I guess it's possible that she and Lilly were close, at some point. But it's not my fault if Lilly stopped being best friends with her. Has she really been holding that grudge against me this whole time?_

"C'mon, Madison, let's get you home," Mac said patiently.

"And did you know," Madison persisted, raising her voice, "that Duncan was originally _my_ boyfriend?" She laughed bitterly. "Yup. We were thirteen years old. Tammy Forester threw a party at her house, and me and Duncan made out in the closet. He asked me to be his girlfriend. And then along came that _slut_ Veronica Mars. Two weeks later, he was walking down the hallway holding _her_ hand. He didn't even bother to tell me we were over."

Veronica sat down fully in Mac's front seat. _Did Duncan really have something going on with Madison before we got together? Why didn't he ever say anything to me about that? _She had a sudden memory of walking into the girl's bathroom the night of the spring dance…

_She and Lilly are laughing as they walk through the door. Veronica stops short when she spots Madison, crying at the sink. She approaches Madison hesitantly. They've never been particularly close, but she doesn't like to see anyone upset. "Hey. Are you okay?" Veronica asks gently._

_Madison looks up, her eyes pink and her mascara running in dark streams down her cheeks. She glances from Veronica to Lilly, and then back to Veronica. She shoots her a look of absolute loathing, and storms out of the room._

_Lilly rolls her eyes and walks over to the spot Madison has just vacated. "Drama queen," she laughs. She pulls a tube of lipstick out of her purse and looks over at Veronica with a sly smile. "So. Did my brother work up the nerve to smooch you, yet?"_

Veronica came back to the present, to hear that their conversation was continuing.

"Yeah," Mac was saying, her voice tinged with sarcasm. "I'm sure you had a tough life, being Madison Sinclair."

"And did you know," Madison continued, undeterred, "that alllllllll of senior year, I was head over heels for Logan?"

"Logan?" Mac asked, confused. "I think you mean Dick."

Madison muttered something incoherent, but kept talking. "I tried everything to get his attention. I went to every party. I wore my shortest skirt, laughed at all his jokes… _nothing_. I even got back together with Dick just so I could be closer to him. But it didn't matter." Her voice grew louder again; she was practically yelling. "Every time that _slut_ was within fifty yards, his attention was on _her_! She was just too fucking_ stupid_ to notice it. Well I had the last laugh."

Veronica gripped the steering wheel as she listened, her fingers turning white. Madison started to dry heave, leaving Veronica's heart racing with anticipation. _I know I shouldn't listen to this. I know I shouldn't hear it. But I have to. _

When Madison started speaking again, her voice was hushed and proud, and she sounded surprisingly sober. "I knew Logan was coming to Aspen. I knew they'd split up. I knew I could finally get him to be mine. The Gant's have a big party every year, for the holidays. And I knew Dick and Logan were gonna be there." Madison laughed and started to speak louder, still smug. "I sprayed on a little of that Designer Imposters 'Promises' crap that Veronica wears. I knew it would get him hot. Logan was already drunk when he got there. I got him drunker. I got him alone. I leaned in close. I _owned_ him."

Veronica felt nauseous; but she couldn't seem to stop listening. She was horribly fascinated. Suddenly, she heard sobbing through the phone.

"He was so wasted… He kept pushing me away… He kept saying I wasn't his girlfriend. 'But I am', I told him. 'I'm her'. He knew I wasn't." Her sobs turned to wild laughter. "But he wanted to believe the lie. And I wanted to let him.

"Our big, fucking night together, and I knew he was thinking about _her_ the whole time." Madison started to cry again. "Do you know he wouldn't kiss me, Mac? Do you know he called me by _her_ name?" She began coughing violently, which led to another round of vomiting. When she continued speaking, her voice was hollow. "When we were done, he went to the bathroom, and I _heard_ him, throwing up. When he came out, I pretended I was asleep. He gathered up his clothes and left. He didn't say a word to me.

"But I kept on trying," Madison whispered. "Even after all of that, I went to his hotel room to see if he wanted more. And who answered the door? Veronica Mars." She started crying in earnest then.

Veronica could hear Mac trying to calm her down, but she could no longer concentrate on what they were saying. Her thoughts were racing as she tried to process this new information. Hearing the reality of what had actually happened, learning that it was so vastly different from what she'd been picturing this whole time… she was stunned. _Logan was the one who broke up with _me_… I knew he still cared about me- well I hoped he did… he said he'd always be there for me if I needed him… but I had no idea he still missed me so much, that he was… hurting so much…_

_Madison, going out of her way to seduce him like that… putting on my fucking _perfume _for god's sake… that's psychotic…She got him drunk, she took advantage of the fact that he was upset… she made it impossible for him to resist giving in._ _Why didn't he ever explain this to me?_ Veronica stared blankly at Mac's steering wheel. _Because I never gave him the chance. I stormed out of his room, I refused to answer his calls, I didn't even listen to his messages._ She thought back to the night of Dick and Logan's party. _Even then, almost a year later, Logan tried to tell me. And I refused to hear it._

_That's why he lied to me. Logan knew that even if he tried to tell me the truth, I wouldn't have given him the chance to explain himself. He knew that as soon as the words "I slept with Madison" came out of his mouth, nothing that he said after that could make it okay. But Logan must have hated himself for giving in to her. _Veronica realized something, then. _He _told_ me how much he hated it; I just didn't realize he was talking about Madison…_ "I fooled around with this horrible girl who meant less than nothing to me, and I couldn't regret it more. Thinking of it makes me ill."

Something else occurred to her then, which should have occurred to her a long time ago. _It was Christmas, on top of everything else. Logan hates the holidays. Christmas was the beginning of the end for his family. He once told me how alone he always feels during birthdays and holidays. Jesus, I'm an idiot. I threw away my relationship with Logan over… nothing._

_I told him that it was something I was never getting past._ _But I think, deep down, I thought he'd do something to redeem himself. I thought he'd wait for me to come around. I thought we'd get back together. Instead, he started dating Parker. And I started dating Piz. _

_So now what? _

Veronica was distracted by the sound of crying and muffled words. It took her a minute to recognize it as Madison. "Why don't they love me, Mac? Why doesn't anyone love me?" She sounded so forlorn, so different from the spiteful, haughty girl she knew that Veronica was shocked to find herself actually feeling pity for her.

"Your family loves you, Madison," Mac assured her.

"They don't…. they don't…" Madison insisted, sobbing violently. "I did everything I could to make them proud of me. I did- school, and- and cheerleading, and…nothing worked. They never treated me the way they treated Lauren. They… they bought me stuff because they felt guilty. And your parents won't talk to me, they hate me too…"

Veronica caught movement in front of her and glanced up to see Weevil stumbling towards her. She got out of the car quickly and ran over to him.

"Oh my god, are you hurt? Are you bleeding?" she asked.

"Am I _what_?" he asked, laughing loudly. "You oughta know better by now, V. _Nobody_ stabs Weevil." He threw an arm around her and leaned against her heavily.

Veronica caught a whiff of his breath and turned her head quickly in the other direction. "Jesus," she coughed. "What did you do, finish the bottle?"

"Yup," he replied. "I had to do eight shots with that bloated fuck before he finally passed out on the bar. When the sheriff asks me why I been drinking on the job, you better back me up, girl. I don't want him to fire my ass… again."

"Don't worry, I've got you covered," Veronica assured him. She considered the situation. She'd been planning on asking Weevil to ride with Mac, so that he could help her out with Madison. _But if he shows up at the Sinclair's in his present condition, they're liable to have him arrested._

Veronica glanced towards the edge of the parking lot, where Mac looked to be consoling a still crying Madison. _I have a feeling that if I go over there right now, I'm not going to help that situation at all._ She walked over to Mac's car and pulled the keys out of the ignition, locking it behind her. "Weevil," she asked, "can you give these keys to Mac? Tell her that we'll wait here in my car until they leave, so we can make sure they get out of here okay."

"You got it," Weevil agreed. He took the keys out of her hand and headed over to where Mac and Madison were standing.

As Veronica stared after him, there was only one thought that kept running through her mind. _I really need to talk to Logan. But what the hell am I going to say?_

**xxXxx**

Veronica tried Logan on the phone again the following day. But he didn't answer, and he didn't return her call. _That makes four unreturned phone calls. I'm officially concerned. According to Mac, he's fine. This can only mean one thing: he's _definitely_ avoiding me. But why?_

She resisted the urge to call him or go to his suite over the next few days, keeping herself busy with work and studying. She knew that she'd see him on Thursday, during their Lit final. _If he doesn't show up to that, he'll fail the class. More importantly, he'll lose his bet with me. And there are few things Logan enjoys in life as much as healthy competition. Especially if said competition brings the added possibility of lording his victory over _me_ for the rest of his life. No, he'll be there._

And he was. But he arrived late; since they were already seated, Veronica didn't get the opportunity to even say hello to him. The proctor had them sit alphabetically. Logan was seated three rows up and one row over from Veronica. He didn't look at her when he came in.

Yet Veronica couldn't _stop_ looking at him. She chewed on her pen cap and tried desperately to concentrate on her essay. But all she could focus on was the curve of his back, as he leaned forward, and the way the tendons moved in his forearm as he wrote. He wrote quickly, seeming completely focused on the exam.

Veronica caught the proctor staring at her suspiciously and she quickly looked down. She forced herself to organize her thoughts; she had three short essays to write, and she'd only written one and a half. Time was ticking away. Veronica finished her essay on _The Scarlet Letter,_ and chose to write the last one on _Wuthering Heights_. She'd just finished laying out a brief outline when she saw movement in front of her.

Logan was standing up and walking to the front of the classroom. He was the first student to finish. Veronica watched him as he walked, unable to stop herself. As he handed his papers to the proctor, he glanced up at her and caught her staring. He smiled at her, briefly, then turned and headed out the door.

Veronica hurried to finish her last essay, hoping that when she left he'd still be waiting for her outside the lecture hall. But by the time she finished, he was gone. She took her phone out of her pocket and hesitated for a moment, then called his number. It went right to his voice mail.

She hung up, feeling a crushing disappointment. _So that's it. The end of the semester. He told me he was leaving to go surfing with Dick right after finals were over, and that was his last final. Who knows when I'll get the chance to talk to him again?_

**xxXxx**

Her dad had agreed to her trip to Mexico alone on two conditions. Number one: that she fly, not drive. And number two: that someone be there waiting for her when she got to the airport.

"Veronica?"

She looked up from fumbling with the handle of her carry-on bag to see a beautiful young woman smiling down at her. The woman was tall, with long, pin straight dark brown hair and an olive complexion. She was dressed casually, in a pretty yellow and green print sundress and a pair of sandals.

"Mia?" she asked, smiling uncertainly.

Without a word, Mia embraced her warmly. Veronica was taken aback, but hugged the girl in return. When she pulled away, Mia clasped both of her hands in her own. "I am so, so happy that you were able to join us for our celebrations. I've been looking so forward to meeting you."

"Me too," Veronica replied honestly.

"How was your flight?"

_Terrible. I felt like I was in a coffin._ "It was fine."

"Do you have any bags to pick up?"

"No, I just have this one."

"Wonderful. We don't live far from here; we'll be home shortly." Mia gave her a secretive smile. "Duncan has a big surprise. He's very excited to share it with you."

Veronica felt slightly alarmed. _The last surprise Duncan shared with me was that he was Meg's baby daddy. I hope he's gotten less dramatic in the last couple of years. Or at the very least, I hope he's developed better comedic timing._

She and Mia shared easy conversation on their way to the house. Veronica had been a teeny bit concerned that her presence at the wedding may cause some awkwardness; but she'd had nothing to worry about. Mia was just as Duncan had described her. Kind, gentle, and about as un-dramatic as a person could get. She seemed genuinely happy to have Veronica there, and completely unthreatened by her presence.

When they pulled up to the house, Veronica was surprised. She'd been half-expecting some vast, sprawling estate worthy of Pablo Escobar. Duncan was the heir to billions, after all, and the cheap price of real estate in Mexico would allow him to live like a king. So she was taken aback when they pulled up to a modest adobe house a couple of blocks away from the ocean. _I guess Duncan doesn't want to call attention to himself. I'm impressed. He turned out to be way better at this cloak and dagger thing than I ever expected._

Veronica followed Mia inside, grateful for the cool relief from the scorching sun. She could hear the faint sound of salsa music coming from the back of the house. Before she had a chance to look around, she felt Mia lifting her bag from her fingers. She looked at her curiously.

"Follow the music," she suggested cryptically. "I'll go put your bag in one of the guest rooms. I'll join you in a moment."

"Um, okay," Veronica replied. She felt a little out of place, but she let her ears guide her towards a sliding glass door off of the living room. From there she could see a spacious patio, complete with pool, bar and fire pit. She could also see Duncan, lounging on one of the chairs.

Veronica smiled and slid the glass door open, intending to sneak up on Duncan and surprise him. Before she got the chance, she heard a voice that made her stop in her tracks.

"Dude, at this rate we're gonna run out of _cerveza_. You ready to switch it up to tequila yet?"

Logan stood at the bar in just his swim trunks, his hair standing up in wet spikes. She watched as he stuffed a lime slice into a bottle of Corona and started walking towards Duncan. When he looked up and saw her standing there, he froze. They both spoke at the same time.

"What are you doing here?"

Duncan looked from Logan to Veronica, a big smile on his face. "Surprise!"

**A/N So the Madison thing never sat well with me. One of the reasons I wanted to write this story in the first place was to try and bring a little closure to that storyline (among others). This was an important plot point that I wanted to cover, and it's been planned out from the very beginning. I started laying the groundwork all the way back in Chapter 4. I've been calling this storyline "The Breaking of the Brat". (And if you get that reference, I'll buy you a cookie.) Hope you liked my take on it. Please review! :) **

**P.S. Yes, I know, I left you guys with a cliffhanger again. I = suck. :P**


	17. Taco Cabeza

**A/N Surprise! It's been less than 3 weeks, and here I am :) I couldn't stop writing this chapter. I may get fired, but what can you do…**

**I'll try to keep this short. Since the show glossed over the squickiness of Veronica and Duncan dating (even though he slept with her once upon a time while still under the impression that she was his sister), I'm going to do the same thing. If the show didn't have the time or energy to explain it, or have it make sense, I certainly don't either. **

**As for the Duncan/Veronica rape/non-rape issue at Shelly's party, we'll leave it thus: they had sex with each other while they were both unknowingly on drugs. Neither remembers or was aware of it, while it happened- but they both know that it did happen. This isn't necessarily what I believe. But, again, I don't have the time or inclination to make sense of that mess.**

**This one is for my man, for all of his patience and support.**

**Hope you guys love this chapter as much as I loved writing it…**

**Chapter 17**

Duncan

_It's my fault that Veronica and Logan aren't together. Well, mine and Lilly's, anyway. She came into my room one day, after school. I was thirteen, and she was fourteen. That was the day that we decided to change fate…_

_Lilly walks into Duncan's room without asking and flops down next to him on the bed. He's playing a video game. Her movement makes him bounce up and down, which messes up his concentration. He ends up shooting one of the guys on his team instead of the enemy._

"_What do you want Lilly?" he asks in annoyance, without looking up from his game._

"_Do you think Veronica is pretty?"_

_Duncan is still distracted by his video game and not really paying attention. "Yeah, sure," he replies._

_Lilly reaches over and pulls the controller from his hand. She tosses it carelessly onto the floor and the screen suddenly goes blank._

"_What the hell, Lilly? You totally screwed up my game!"_

_She rolls her eyes at him. "Do you think Veronica is pretty?" she repeats calmly._

_Duncan sits back onto the bed, his anger slipping away quickly. He can never stay mad at Lilly for long. He considers her question, and shrugs. "I've never really thought about it. Yeah, I guess she is."_

"_I think you should ask her to the spring dance."_

"_Really?" Duncan is mildly surprised that Lilly would deem him worthy enough to date her best friend. "I, uh, sort of thought I'd go with Madison. We've kind of been hanging out lately."_

"_By 'hanging out' I assume you mean making out with her in Tammy's closet last weekend," Lilly laughs._

"_How do you know-" Duncan stops. _Of course she knows. She knows everything.

_Lilly stands up and starts pacing back and forth. "Madison is _boring_. Besides, she's probably just trying to use you to get to me. The last thing I need is for her to be over here all the time, crawling up my ass again." She stops pacing and sighs. "I really think you and Veronica would be good together."_

_Duncan shifts uncomfortably. "I'm, uh, pretty sure Logan has a thing for her. I don't want to get in his way." _

"_Don't worry about Logan. I've got that covered." Lilly flashes him her most devious smile. _

_Duncan frowns. "I thought Veronica was supposed to be your best friend."_

"_Exactly. Logan's no good for her. You know that. He'd just wind up breaking her heart. I'm trying to look out for her," Lilly explains._

_He gives her a knowing look. "So this has nothing to do with you wanting him for yourself?"_

_Lilly shrugs. "Can't it be both?"_

_Duncan doesn't say anything. He's a little bit surprised by her ruthlessness. Lilly catches the expression on his face and rolls her eyes._

"_Oh come _on _Duncan, it's just a stupid crush. It's not like I'm trying to get between Romeo and Juliet. Trust me, this is for the best. Veronica wouldn't be able to handle a boy like him." Lilly sits back down on the bed, her voice becoming quiet."Logan would be nothing but trouble for her." _

"_Logan wouldn't do anything to hurt her," Duncan states a bit defensively._

_Lilly looks thoughtful. "No, not intentionally. But we've both known his family long enough to know that they're seriously out of whack." Lilly turns to Duncan then, her expression solemn. "I like my Veronica sweet and innocent. Don't you?"_

"_Yeah," Duncan agrees. "I do." He glances back at his sister with a half smile. "So if Logan is so screwed up, why do _you_ want to hang out with him so much?"_

_Lilly looks away. "I have my reasons."_

_Duncan laughs. He's onto her. "I think you just can't stand the fact that there's a guy in this world who's immune to your charms."_

"_Oh he's not immune," Lilly says confidently. "Trust me."_

_Duncan crosses his arms over his chest. "Maybe he's not immune, but I sure see him looking at Veronica a lot." He says the next part because he knows how much it'll piss her off, but also because it's true. "I see him looking at her _way_ more than I see him looking at you. And I think that drives you crazy."_

_Lilly doesn't bother denying it. She doesn't need to. They're both aware that she likes to be the focus of everyone's attention. And it bothers her immensely when she _isn't_ the focus of everyone's attention. Duncan knows his sister better than anyone else in the world, and he knows that she always wants what she can't have. She doesn't like hearing the word "no". The fact that Logan _doesn't_ look at her all of the time just makes him that much more appealing to her… because now she has a challenge. _

_Duncan isn't sure if Lilly is going after Logan for any other reason besides the game. Everything is a big game to his sister; this means that sometimes, other people get hurt. It's not intentional, on her part. Most of the time, she simply doesn't give the feelings of the other people involved a second thought. _

_But in this case, he thinks Lilly truly believes that she'll be doing Veronica a favor, in the process. She doesn't believe there are any real feelings between these two. And she's not doing this to try and take Logan away from her friend- she's doing it to see if she _can_ do it. Lilly doesn't think she'll be doing any real damage. Duncan isn't quite so sure about that. _

"_Look," Lilly says. "Forget about Logan, for a minute. I just think that you and Veronica would make a good couple. Way better than you and _Madison Sinclair_, anyway. Just think about it, okay?"_

_And he does think about it. He starts to look at Veronica differently, over the next few days. He realizes, suddenly, just how beautiful she is. And how smart, and how sweet. But he still feels strange about Logan. So the following weekend, he tells Logan that he's thinking about asking Veronica to the spring dance. _

"_Oh yeah?" Logan responds. He sounds indifferent- bored, even. So Duncan decides that his sister is right- Logan really _doesn't_ care too much about Veronica, after all. And when Lilly tells him that she and Logan ended up kissing, later that day, Duncan decides that it's safe to ask Veronica to the dance. He asks her the next day, after their French class. When she says yes, he smiles and takes her hand. They walk down the hallway together like that, silently declaring themselves as a couple to the rest of the school._

_The night of the dance, Duncan watches her in her pretty pink dress, laughing with Lilly. And he realizes that he wants to kiss her. As they dance to a slow song, later that night, he leans in closer to her. He rubs his hand across her bare arms awkwardly, intrigued by the softness of her skin. He touches her silky hair, worn loose that night, and she smiles up at him. Duncan is sure that Veronica is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He bends his head down to hers and kisses her softly on the lips._

_After they kiss, he's absorbed in her for the rest of the night. But on the one occasion that he looks up, he happens to notice that both Logan and Madison are staring at them. They each look away quickly. Duncan feels a pang of guilt. He realizes that he never really ended things with Madison. He also realizes that he should have made absolutely _sure_ that Logan wasn't upset about him asking Veronica out._

_But then he feels Veronica's gentle touch on his arm; and when he looks back down at her, he realizes that he's too happy to worry about how other people are feeling right now. Logan and Lilly disappear together shortly after that, and Duncan doesn't think about anyone but Veronica for the rest of the night._

_In fact, for years after that, he doesn't give Logan's feelings for Veronica a second thought. Not until the day that he stands in Logan's living room, waiting to surprise him…and the two of them walk into the house together, kissing…_

Duncan knew that his actions hadn't been intentionally malicious. He and Lilly were just a couple of bored rich kids with too much time on their hands. But the fact remained that his discussion with Lilly that day had changed the course of fate. _No, it wasn't my idea to get between them. But I allowed Lilly to commandeer the situation. I did what I always did, back then. I stood idly by. _

He thought back to that day in the Journalism room, when Veronica had called him out on that very trait. Those words had changed his life forever. From that moment on, he'd tried his best _not_ to stand idly by, anymore. _With varied success. But I did try. And I still do._

Yet he'd found himself thinking about that conversation with his sister pretty often. And he couldn't help but wonder- if he and Lilly had let Veronica and Logan's relationship run its natural course, instead of intervening, would things have ended up playing out the way they did? _Would Lilly have died, if she and Logan had never dated? What reason did she have to be with Aaron that day, other than to get back at Logan? That had to have been the main reason she was with him…right?_

Truthfully, Duncan had no idea why Lilly had ever decided to get involved with Aaron. It could have simply been that she always craved danger, that she always strove to do whatever would shock people the most. _And sleeping with Aaron Echolls was certainly shocking_. But Duncan could never understand why she would do that to Logan. He couldn't understand what Logan could _possibly_ have done to deserve that. _To deserve having his girlfriend cheat on him with his own father. To deserve the humiliation that it would cause his mother, if she'd ever found out. Especially after Lynn had been nothing but nice to Lilly and I since we were kids._

No, Logan had never done anything to deserve that._ Sure, he got jealous sometimes. Sure, they argued a lot. But if Lilly really did have an affair with Aaron to try and get back at Logan for some perceived wrong, she went way too far._ Lilly was his sister, and he loved her still; but she could be cruel, sometimes. Her actions in that instance had been beyond cruel. And they'd ended up getting her killed.

Duncan knew that he could never tell either Logan _or_ Veronica about that conversation with Lilly. He didn't want to risk either of them hearing that information and having it change the way they thought about his sister. Because, despite her flaws, Lilly really _had_ been the person who they both thought she'd been- the person who they'd both loved so much. And she had genuinely loved both of them in return, of that Duncan was certain.

Her plan to get between them hadn't been meant to hurt them. She'd done it playfully, and maybe a little selfishly- but it wasn't some big scheme to try and cause them pain. So Duncan had decided that he'd keep this to himself. If only to protect the memories that they both had for his sister. _But that doesn't mean that I can't try to right these wrongs. To course correct. To put them back on the path that they were always meant to take together._

Duncan looked at both of his friends now, glancing from one to the other. They were like mirror images- both standing completely still, staring at the other with their mouths slightly agape.

"What are you doing here?" they asked in unison.

Duncan grinned. "Surprise!"

They continued to stare at each other. After half a minute, Veronica smiled at Logan a bit hesitantly. "Hi."

The guarded look on Logan's face melted away, replaced by a small smile of his own. "Hey."

Duncan relaxed slightly. He knew Logan well enough to see how happy he was that Veronica was there, even though he hadn't been expecting her. _So whatever he's been doing to try and stay away from her- that's out the window, now. It was an idiotic plan anyway._

He glanced back at Veronica, and he could tell that she was just as thrilled to see Logan. The two of them had been driving him nuts for the last couple of months, talking about each other ad nauseum, but not moving forward. _Logan at least admitted up front that he still loved her. Veronica didn't come clean to me until a couple of weeks ago. As if I didn't know._

Veronica blinked a couple of times, finally looking away from Logan and towards Duncan. He supposed he should be offended that she hadn't said hello to him yet, having been too busy gazing dreamily into Logan's eyes. After all, he and Veronica hadn't seen each other in over two years. But he wasn't offended in the least. In fact, Duncan was so thrilled to have his two best friends with him again that he couldn't seem to wipe the big, goofy grin off of his face.

He stood up, and Veronica walked over to him. Without a word, she pulled him into a surprisingly strong hug. Duncan laughed and squeezed her tightly before letting go. "I can't believe you're actually here," he said. He smiled down at his friend, amazed that she was standing in front of him.

"Me either," she replied. "It's so good to see you."

Veronica wore a blue sundress that tied around the back of her neck, and a pair of flip flops. Her hair was in pigtails, and the only piece of jewelry she wore was the diamond necklace Lilly had given her. _She hasn't changed a bit. She looks great._

Duncan glanced over at Logan. He could tell by the way his friend was looking her up and down that he agreed thoroughly. _I'm just glad that my feelings towards Veronica have changed, so that the three of us can hang out like this._ Duncan looked back at Veronica. _Sure, I'll always think she's beautiful. And she'll always have a special place in my heart. But Mia is the love of my life._

He sat back down on the lounge chair. "So, are you hungry?" he asked. "We were just talking about getting some lunch."

"Oh goodie, I'm _starving_," Veronica replied, sinking down into the chair next to him.

"Shocker," Duncan laughed.

Logan walked over and handed Veronica a Corona. "Here," he said. "You need to catch up."

"Yeah, if the day ever comes when I can 'catch up' with either of you- _without_ having to get my stomach pumped, that is- then you guys need to check me into the Betty Ford Clinic," Veronica joked. But she accepted the beer and took a sip.

Logan smirked at her and clinked his half empty bottle against hers. "Right, because you _never_ drink too much."

"That's right," Veronica said innocently. "I know my limits."

"Hmm," Logan replied, placing his finger against his lips. "Then I must have _imagined _watching you polish off two bottles of champagne all by yourself. Or did I dream it?"

"That was _one time_!" Veronica protested. She gestured back and forth between Logan and Duncan. "And _you two_ told me it was sparkling cider. 'It's _super_ mild, Veronica, you probably won't even get drunk'," she mimicked.

Duncan chuckled, enjoying their banter. He remembered that day well. Back then, the three of them couldn't resist messing with Veronica, sometimes. She'd been so gullible that she was an easy mark, and she'd never held a grudge about it afterwards. Duncan leaned back in his chair, feeling nostalgic. _This is what I've missed the most. Living among strangers for the last couple of years, there hasn't been anyone to share memories with._

"Well unless you want me to pass out for the rest of the day, I should probably have something to eat," Veronica said. "I just discovered that I'm a total lightweight when I drink on an empty stomach."

"You're a lightweight either way," Logan laughed. "But yeah, let's have some lunch."

"There's a great place around the corner, _Taco Cabeza_," Duncan spoke up. "Tell me what you're in the mood for and I'll ask Alex to pick it up for us."

"Alex? One of your team of household staff, I presume?" Veronica teased.

Duncan made a face. "There are only _two_ people who work for me, I'll have you know. Carmela cooks and helps me with Lilly, and Alex just does whatever else needs to be done."

"Wow. So no pillow fluffer, or masseuse? Celeste would be appalled, if she knew."

"_I'm_ kind of appalled," Logan said. "I mean, who doesn't have a masseuse, these days? It's barbaric."

Veronica rolled her eyes at him and started to turn back towards Duncan. "So do you have a menu for-" she stopped speaking abruptly, looking towards the house with wide eyes.

Duncan glanced up to see Mia walking towards them, carrying Lilly on her hip. His daughter was staring at Veronica, and she was staring back at Lilly.

"It's uncanny, isn't it?" Logan asked her with a half-smile, looking from Veronica to Lilly.

"Yeah," Veronica breathed.

Mia set Lilly down and she headed immediately for Duncan. He reached down and pulled her into his arms. "Hey pumpkin, did you have a good nap?"

She nodded and pointed to Veronica. "She in my room."

Veronica looked at Duncan in confusion. "I didn't go into her room."

He laughed. "No, she recognizes you. There's a picture of you and Lilly in her bedroom."

"Hey kiddo," Logan said, crouching down in front of her. "I see you got more than enough beauty sleep."

Lilly giggled and hid her face in Duncan's chest. But she looked back at Logan a second later. She pointed at him. "Logan." She'd taken to him immediately when he'd arrived the previous day, following him around for hours. Duncan wasn't sure if it was because Lilly had recognized him from pictures, like she had with Veronica, or if it was because he was surprisingly good with her. Logan had even gotten roped into playing dolls with her, although he'd sworn Mia and Duncan to secrecy about that.

"She's beautiful, Duncan," Veronica said quietly. She smiled at Lilly, still staring at her in wonder. "Hi, I'm Veronica." Lilly stretched her arm out towards her in greeting, and Veronica took her hand. "And you're Lilly."

Duncan saw Veronica start to tear up, and he knew why she was getting emotional. Lilly looked _exactly_ like her namesake. Aside from the light blonde hair she'd inherited from Meg, and something around the lips and chin that she'd gotten from him, she was the spitting image of his sister. Her big green eyes and her facial expressions, in particular, were Lilly's. Duncan was so used to it that it didn't bother him. In fact, he liked the idea that a part of his sister was living on through his daughter. But Logan had had the same reaction yesterday, when he'd seen her for the first time.

Logan reached over and squeezed Veronica's shoulder. "You alright?" he asked quietly.

She nodded and wiped her eyes, giving him a grateful smile. "Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, squeezing Lilly's hand.

Mia, who'd gone back into the house briefly, stepped back outside then. "Honey, did you order everyone lunch yet?"

"No, not yet."

She shook her head at him. "Some host you are," she chided him, although she was smiling. "Do you guys feel like taking a ride? It's faster to eat there, if you're hungry."

They all agreed, and the five of them headed out the door.

**xxXxx **

Two hours later, Duncan and Veronica were sitting on a blanket at the beach, watching as Logan played airplane with Lilly. Mia had stayed back at the house to work on last minute wedding preparations with her aunt.

"She's coming in for another pass," Logan said, running past them and dipping Lilly down low. She squealed and clapped her hands. He kept on running with her in his arms, heading down the beach.

Duncan shook his head. "Logan's great with her. I didn't expect that."

"I know," Veronica agreed. "You should see him with Darrell. He idolizes him."

The two of them headed back over and Logan set Lilly down. "More plane!" she protested.

Logan sat down next to Duncan, slightly out of breath. "Typical girl," he joked, glancing at Veronica. "It's just never good enough, no matter how hard you try."

Veronica made a face and pulled Lilly down into her lap. "I think Uncle Logan needs a break, sweetheart. He is getting old, after all." She turned to Logan. "So no surf trip with Dick, huh?"

"Hey, don't blame me. _He_ swore me to secrecy," Logan replied, gesturing to Duncan.

"I did," Duncan affirmed. "I swore Veronica to secrecy too."

"Thank you for that, by the way," she said dryly. "You know how much I love surprises." She looked back at Logan. "So when did you get here?"

"Yesterday, around 5. I left right after the final."

"How do you think you did?"

"I kicked ass, obviously," he replied with a grin. "Did you happen to notice who finished first?"

"Yes. And if our bet were about finishing first, you would have won. But it's about who gets the best grade, so don't start celebrating just yet," Veronica said with a smirk.

"We still need to decide what the stakes are, you know," Logan reminded her.

Lilly stood up then and toddled over to Logan. She took his hand and tried to pull him up. "We go see fishies," she announced. Logan glanced at Duncan for translation.

"She wants to show you the tide pool," Duncan explained. "It's her favorite place. The fish get stuck there at low tide, and she likes watching them swim. It's just down the beach over there."

"Is it okay if I take her over there?" Logan asked.

"Yeah, sure. Just be careful by the rocks, it's a little slippery."

Logan nodded. "Don't worry, I won't let her fall."

And Duncan knew that he wouldn't. The two of them headed down the beach together. Duncan watched as Lilly led Logan to the spot, her tiny hand in his, and he smiled to himself. _Everything is as it should be, now. I finally have all of the people who I love the most together in one place. Well, mostly everyone. I just wish Mom and Dad could be here, too._ He turned to Veronica. "You see what I meant about her getting her way all the time, right?"

Veronica laughed softly, watching them walk down the beach. "Just like her aunt. Lilly would have spoiled her rotten." She smiled and looked back at Duncan. "So you know I have to ask… have you been in Mexico this whole time?"

"No, only for the last 7 months or so. We move around a lot. We normally never stay anywhere for more than 2 or 3 months, but once I met Mia- well, you know the rest."

"Where have you guys been?"

"We've been all over the world. Brazil, El Salvador, South Africa, Australia, Costa Rica…"

"So basically you went the Bodie from _Point Break_ route?" Veronica teased. "Looking for the perfect wave? It's a good thing there wasn't a surfer dude federal agent tracking you."

Duncan laughed. "Well just because I'm on the run from the law doesn't mean I can't choose to live in places that just _happen_ to have excellent surfing possibilities."

"True. So are you worried about having been in one place for so long? Are you and Mia going to try and stay here?" she asked.

"That's the plan. Her whole family is here, you know? I wouldn't want to take her away from that. I mean, Mia knows the deal. She's prepared to leave, if we have to. But her family is like family to me now, too. You'll meet a lot of them tomorrow at the wedding. And her aunt, Carmela, lives with us. She's actually the one who introduced me to Mia."

"The same Carmela who works for you?"

"Yeah." He laughed. "One of the things about being a fugitive is that you have to learn a lot of skills. But some things are just impossible for me to learn. Like cooking."

"So you're telling me that you've managed to evade capture from the FBI for 2 years, but you still can't fry an egg?" Veronica laughed.

"An egg I can handle. But I can't make a whole meal." He shrugged. "I can live on whatever, but Lilly needs to eat real food, you know? So I hired Carmela. She kept talking about her niece and I'd just smile and nod politely. I knew we'd be out of here in a couple of months. What would be the point? And then I met her." Duncan smiled. "And that was that. Once I knew that I wanted Mia to become a permanent part of my life, I managed to get in touch with my parents- through Mr. Weidman. They've been working on figuring out a way to get the charges against me dropped ever since."

"_That_ part I knew about," Veronica said quietly. She stayed silent for a moment, running her fingertips through the sand. "So Celeste knows about the wedding?"

"Yeah, she knows. I'm not sure she _approves_, but she knows."

Veronica chuckled. "Do you think you'll stay down here, even if the charges are dropped? I don't see your parents being too pleased about that."

"Yeah, well… Our life is here now, you know? Lilly loves it here. This is the closest thing she's ever had to a home. Mia is like a mother to her, and her family is family to us. I wouldn't want either of them to have to give that up." He glanced at Veronica with a smile. "But I'd definitely have to buy a place in Neptune, too. I want you and Logan to be a part of Lilly's life. And my parents, of course."

"Me and Logan…You say that like we're a couple," Veronica said wryly.

"You will be," Duncan said confidently. Off Veronica's uncertain look, he continued. "Look, I finally see what you two have together, and it's awesome. Don't waste that. I've never seen Logan like this with another girl. Not even Lilly."

"Like what?"

"Veronica, he's head over heels for you. And you're head over heels for him." Duncan laughed. "I wish I had a video of the way you two were looking at each other earlier, so I could play it back for you."

"I don't know," Veronica said uncertainly. "I thought he seemed disappointed that I was here, at first. And did you notice that he takes this, like, deep breath before he talks to me? Meg once told me that I do that, sometimes. She said it was like I was preparing for battle. Does he think I'm gonna start a fight with him or something?"

"What? I didn't notice that. And you're nuts if you think he wasn't totally psyched to see you."

"So then why has he been avoiding me for the last two weeks?" she countered.

"I think you need to ask him that. You know I brought you both here so you could talk, right?" he asked.

"And here I thought it was because you wanted us to be at your wedding."

"Well yeah, that too, obviously. But I also want the two of you to stop screwing around and just talk, already."

Veronica fidgeted with her necklace and looked out at the ocean. After a moment, she nodded. "We will. I think I finally know what I want to say. And he can't avoid me anymore, not while we're both here." She looked back at Duncan. "But I'm going to wait until Sunday, after the wedding. I have no idea how it's going to go, and I'm worried that things will be awkward between us, after we talk. Or worse, that we'll end up getting into some nasty fight and ruining your wedding. You and Mia don't need that kind of drama this weekend."

Duncan laughed. "Well thank you, that's very considerate of you." He gestured down the beach. "They're on their way back. We should probably get back to the house. Carmela has an awesome dinner planned for us. And there are margaritas that need drinking."

"Well I'm happy to help," Veronica said, standing up and stretching lazily. "Have I mentioned how much I love Mexico?"

**xxXxx**

Several hours later, Veronica, Logan, Duncan, Lilly and Mia sat around the table on the patio, trying to digest the enormous meal they'd just eaten. It had been a busy day. Duncan had gotten up early that morning to go surfing with Logan; the rest of his day had been spent mostly out in the sun, drinking. He was feeling pretty lethargic.

He could tell the others were, too. Veronica couldn't stop yawning. She'd spent the two hours before dinner running around with Mia, helping her set up for the wedding and do last minute errands. Every once in awhile, she'd head out back to where Duncan and Logan were hanging up lanterns for the ceremony, to get a refill on her margarita. Duncan was happy to see that Mia and Veronica were getting along so well.

Lilly was currently sitting on Logan's lap, tugging at his puka shell necklace. She loved shells, and had a collection in her room that she'd gathered from the beach. But she didn't seem to understand why his shells seemed to be attached to him. Logan unclasped the necklace and handed it to her. She giggled and motioned to her own neck. "Mine." He shook his head and laughed, but fastened the necklace around her.

"We'll get that back for you when she goes to sleep," Mia assured him.

"Nah, don't worry about it. She can have it," Logan told her.

Lilly laughed again, seeming to understand that she'd gotten her way once again. Duncan shook his head. "You shouldn't encourage her. She's already well aware of how much power she has over all of us." He turned to Veronica. "I finally understand why your dad forgives you for pretty much everything you do wrong. _And_ why he's so protective of you. I'm actually a little surprised that you got him to agree to you coming down here on your own."

"Yeah, well it wasn't easy. I had to agree to get a tracking device implanted in my heel before I left," Veronica joked.

"See, that's one of the benefits of being an orphan," Logan spoke up. "You can come and go as you please."

_And I'm the one responsible for making you an orphan. Something _else_ I can never tell you, or Veronica, about. But I know I did the right thing._ Duncan truly believed that Aaron was an evil person, who was never going to change. _He was a sociopath. He murdered my sister. He beat Logan. The world is better off with out him. And Logan is better off without him, too. _

Aaron was an example of a time when Duncan _hadn't_ stood idly by. He'd heard the "not guilty" verdict, and he'd known immediately what had to be done. So he'd ordered it done. And he didn't regret it for a second. He'd done it out of revenge, yes. But he'd also done it to protect his friends, and his daughter, and everyone else's daughters. _I did it so that Aaron couldn't ever hurt anyone again._

Mia stood up and took Lilly from Logan. She walked over to Duncan and kissed him on the lips. "I'm going to put her to bed, and then I think I'm going to bed too. We have a big day tomorrow."

Duncan smiled at her, the smile that he used for her alone. "Big day," he repeated. He kissed her again on the lips, then kissed Lilly on the cheek. "Good night, Sugarpop. I'll be up to tuck you in soon."

"Night Daddy," Lilly said. She turned her head around. "Night Logan. Night V'rona."

They both smiled and said goodnight to her and Mia, and they headed inside. Logan reached across the table for the pitcher of margaritas. He refilled his glass, then Veronica's and Duncan's. Veronica stifled a yawn and shook her head at him. "I don't know where you get your energy from. I'm shot."

"Suck it up, Mars," Logan replied. "We're celebrating Duncan's last night as a free man. Stop being so lame."

Veronica made a face at him, but took a sip of her drink. "These _are _pretty damn yummy," she admitted. "So, what, no strippers?"

Duncan snorted. "Mia would have me killed. The closest I'm allowed to get to strippers is during a game of _Grand Theft Auto_."

"You play the newest _Call of Duty_ yet?" Logan asked.

"It kicks serious ass," Duncan replied.

"So sick," Logan agreed. "I've been playing online lately. I finally found a worthy opponent, since you left the country."

"You talking about Apollo?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Because you usually _hate_ everyone you haven't known for at least five years?" Veronica laughed suddenly. "I just thought of something. He's Apollo and you're 'Lee'."

"So, what does that make you? Starbuck?" Logan smirked.

"I could live with that," Veronica replied. "She's a badass."

Logan nodded. "She is. She's also stubborn, reckless, emotionally unavailable… I can _totally_ see the resemblance."

Veronica took a sip of her drink and looked back up at him. "On second thought, maybe _you_ share more in common with her. She likes booze, sex, and punching people in the face."

Duncan looked back and forth between the two of them, completely confused. "What the hell are you two talking about?" They both snickered, but neither answered him. He rolled his eyes. "So do you guys want to play a game or something?"

"What did you have in mind?" Veronica asked.

Duncan grinned, a plan forming in his mind. "I say we go old school. How about a little 'I've Never'?"

Veronica and Logan glanced at each other, both clearly aware of the dangers of playing that particular game with each other. But Logan just shrugged. "Sure, I'm down."

"Sounds good," Veronica agreed, stifling another yawn.

"Sweet. Let's go inside though, it's getting chilly out here." Duncan grabbed the pitcher of margaritas and his drink, and stood up; the two of them followed his lead. They headed into the living room, where Logan and Veronica sat down on the couch. "I have to go look in on Lilly. She won't go to sleep until I check her closet for monsters. I'll be right back."

Duncan went upstairs to tuck his daughter in and give Mia a more thorough good night kiss. When he walked back downstairs, he paused before he entered the living room. He saw that Veronica had fallen asleep on the couch. Logan was watching her as she slept. He leaned over and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, then put his arm across the back of the couch and closed his eyes. Veronica, still sleeping, cuddled up next to him. Logan smiled in contentment, dropping his arm down to her shoulders.

Duncan cleared his throat noisily and walked back into the living room. He sat down on the recliner across from the couch. "Looks like our game might have to wait til tomorrow, huh?" he observed.

"Yeah," Logan said, looking at Veronica affectionately. "I told her she was a big lightweight." He moved his arm back up to the top of the couch, and Duncan smiled.

"You don't have to do that on my account," he told him.

"It's not on your account," Logan replied flatly. "I do need to keep my sanity here."

"So I take it you guys haven't talked yet."

"Not yet." Logan nodded to Veronica. "This one needs to figure out what she wants from me."

The sleeping Veronica chose that moment to sigh and move closer to Logan, burying her face in his chest. Duncan chuckled. "Yeah, I think it's pretty clear what she wants from you."

"I hope so," Logan said quietly, letting his hand drop back down to her shoulders. He was taking such care not to wake her that it made Duncan smile.

"Why don't _you_ just talk to _her_?" Duncan asked. "What are you waiting for?"

"Her," Logan replied simply. "She needs to come to me. She's _going_ to come to me."

Duncan shook his head. "Dude, don't wait too long."

"Trust me, it's not easy," Logan replied, glancing at Veronica. After a moment, he looked back at Duncan, his expression serious. "Listen man, I don't mean any disrespect or anything. I mean, I know you're getting married tomorrow and everything, and Mia seems like a great-"

"You want to know if I'm really over Veronica," Duncan interrupted him.

Logan took a deep breath. "Yeah."

When Duncan had first left the country, he'd frequently daydreamed about reunion scenarios with Veronica that were _very _different from the way their actual reunion had taken place, earlier that day. _Logan certainly hadn't been there, for starters_. In fact, when Duncan had heard the rumors that the two of them had gotten back together- just months after he'd left- he'd been pretty angry about it.

But as the months had gone by, his anger had faded. He'd found himself thinking about Veronica less and less. He still missed her, but he no longer pictured romantic reunions with her. The more he thought about her and Logan being together, the more he started to dwell on that conversation with Lilly…and the more he started to regret interfering in the first place.

Then he'd met Mia; and he'd fallen for her so quickly and so completely that all lingering thoughts of Veronica were wiped out of his mind. Duncan understood now that what he felt for Mia was much more potent, much more solid, than anything he'd ever felt for Veronica. He could never have left Mia behind the way he'd left Veronica. It wouldn't have been an option. The funny thing was, the first time that he'd realized just how much he loved Mia was the day she'd given him this certain look… And he'd recognized that look. It was the look that Veronica gave Logan.

Duncan looked at Logan now, his arm draped protectively- and perhaps a bit possessively- over Veronica's shoulder. Logan's eyes were dark, and a little defensive. Duncan could tell that he was preparing himself for the worst. So he smiled, to try and ease the tension. "Yeah, man. I'm completely over her."

Logan nodded, but he didn't look convinced.

Duncan wasn't offended. He remembered wondering the exact same thing about Logan, back in senior year. _But in my case, I really _did_ have something to be worried about. I was pretty much certain that if Veronica and I ever split up, Logan would be there to swoop her up again in a heartbeat. And I was right._ Duncan shook his head. "Listen, man. I'll always love Veronica. But everything is different, now."

"You sure about that?" Logan asked skeptically.

"Positive," Duncan said calmly. "I love her as a friend, and I want nothing but the best for her. I want to see her happy." He smiled and pointed to Logan. "I want to see her happy with _you_."

Logan nodded again. But this time, he seemed to accept Duncan's answer as the truth. The tension in his body disappeared, and he curled his arm around Veronica's waist. She sighed in her sleep, a slight smile on her lips. Logan shook his head at Duncan. "You have no idea what this girl does to me. This is fucking torture." He laughed softly. "Even in her sleep, she still manages to torture me. But the last couple of weeks, staying away from her... That was worse."

They heard soft footsteps approaching, and Duncan was surprised to see that Mia was still awake. She smiled when she saw Veronica cuddled up next to Logan on the couch. Duncan had explained the situation to her, so she was fully aware of the dynamics between them. _Plus, she'd have to be blind not to have picked up on it anyway, after spending the day with the two of them._

"I think I'd better wake her up and show her to her room," Mia said quietly.

"No, that's okay," Logan protested. "I don't mind crashing on the couch tonight. I don't want to bother her."

Mia gave him a knowing smile. "You'll have all day tomorrow. She'll be much more comfortable on a bed." She walked over to Veronica and shook her arm gently until she woke up with a start.

Veronica lifted her head from Logan's chest, looking from Mia to Logan with a dazed expression. She was clearly surprised to find out that she'd been using him as a pillow. Logan moved his arm back up to the top of the couch; Veronica looked at him with the dawning realization that he'd been holding her while she slept. "Sorry," she mumbled, standing up quickly. She glanced at Duncan. "I'm, uh, sorry I fell asleep. We didn't get to play the game."

"We'll play tomorrow," Duncan replied.

"Kay." She nodded sleepily and gave them both a little wave. "Night guys."

They said good night back to her, and she followed Mia out of the room. But before she turned the corner to go upstairs, Duncan saw her glance back at Logan with a smile.

**xxXxx**

Logan

_It took every ounce of self control that I have not to go to her last night. Lying in bed, knowing that she was sleeping not five feet away from me, right on the other side of the wall… All night long, different versions of what could happen if I just walked into her room ran through my head… God, even if it was just to lie down next to her and hold her, as much as that would've fucking killed me…_

Logan thought about her sleeping next to him on the couch, her slight weight against his body, her head on his chest, her warmth… _I could have killed Mia for waking her up. Well, okay, not really. But that's the last time I let someone take her away from me. I could have spent the night with her in my arms. Instead I spent the night tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling, torturing myself with thoughts of her._

He'd been a little disappointed when Veronica had fallen asleep so early last night, although he hadn't been surprised. Being out in the sun drinking for most of the day had taken its toll on all of them. He'd been exhausted himself. _I should have slept like a baby last night. No such luck._

But as tired and hungover as he was, he'd still managed to stumble out of bed early that morning to go surfing with Duncan. He couldn't pass up the opportunity to surf with his best friend. _Who knows when we'll get to do this again? Plus, I had to take advantage of these waves. I can see why Duncan likes it here so much._

Afterward, Duncan had gone upstairs to get a little more sleep before Lilly woke up. But Logan had decided to lie down on the hammock out back instead. There was a nice breeze, and it wasn't too hot yet. He was just starting to doze off when Veronica came outside.

She closed the sliding glass door behind her and walked right over to him. She stopped in front of him and gave his hammock a push. "Come on, lazy bones. Let's go do something."

"Like what?" he asked with a yawn.

"I don't know," Veronica shrugged. "Something. We don't have a lot of time here, let's make the most of it."

"Yeah, it's easy for you to be all bright-eyed and bushy tailed, sleeping beauty. Some of us went to bed late and got up at 5 this morning to go surf," he told her.

"Suck it up, Echolls," she joked, mimicking his words to her from the night before. "Stop being so lame." Veronica gave his hammock another push.

He studied her in silence as he rocked back and forth. She looked amazing. Her blue eyes were bright from a full night's sleep, and her cheeks were slightly pink. There were a sprinkle of freckles on her nose that always came out when she got a little sun. Veronica wore her hair up in a messy twist, so that several strands fell over her eye. She had on a green halter top and a long flowy brown skirt with sandals. Logan wanted to grab her around the waist and pull her down onto the hammock with him. _I'd kiss every inch of her body, starting with those cute little freckles on her nose and moving down from there…_

Logan cleared his throat. "Well what do you have in mind?" he asked.

Veronica gave him a mischievous little smile, but she just shrugged. "I don't know. I feel like we should go explore or something. We _are_ in another country."

"We're in Mexico," he replied. "I'm down here every other week."

"Well _I'm _not. We should do something fun," she insisted.

Logan sat up. "You're right. We _should_ do something fun. Let's have some breakfast." Veronica rolled her eyes at him, but he continued. "What's wrong with breakfast? I vote for being lazy today. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty shot after studying for finals. I'm ready to chill out and celebrate." He shrugged and stood up, smiling down at her. "Let's see where the day takes us."

She looked up at him, her eyes mirroring the light blue of the sky. "Okay, then," she agreed. "We'll play it your way. Teach me about this laziness you speak of."

"Allow me to show you," he replied, holding out his hand. She took it, and he led her inside the house and over to the kitchen table. Someone, probably Carmela, had laid out a variety of breads and muffins. There were also homemade donuts that were shaped like sticks and smelled of cinnamon, and several bottles of champagne chilling on ice.

Veronica looked up at Logan. "Life on the run is pretty grueling, huh?"

He chuckled and picked up one of the donuts, holding it to her lips. She bit down and chewed for a few seconds, then swallowed and grinned up at him. "Oh my _god _that's good." She took the donut from him and bit off another large chunk.

Veronica's appetite was one of the things Logan had always loved about her, even before they'd ever dated. He'd never once heard her utter the words, "I can't, I'm on a diet." She ate what she pleased, and she was just as passionate about good food as she was about everything else.

Logan walked farther into the kitchen, the tile cool against his bare feet. He opened a cupboard, producing two wine glasses. He filled each almost to the top with champagne, then topped the drinks off with a splash of orange juice. Logan handed one of the glasses to Veronica. "Mimosa's. A useful tool when one is attempting to have a lazy day. After a couple of these, I can pretty much guarantee that you won't want to do a damn thing."

To his surprise, she accepted the glass readily and took a long sip. "Mmm, so good." Veronica sat down at the table, and Logan slid into the seat across from her. He took several sips from his own glass and watched Veronica devour the rest of her donut. She reached across the table for another one and looked up at him. "How come you never eat breakfast?" she asked.

"Well at the rate you're tearing through those donuts, I'm afraid there won't be any food left for everyone else," he teased her. She made a face at him, and he laughed. Logan raised his glass. "This is all the breakfast I need. And it's good for you, too. _Loads_ of Vitamin C." He held his glass to hers and she clinked it; they both took a sip.

Veronica finished off her second donut and reached for a third. "Don't even say it," she warned him. "They're tiny."

"_You're_ tiny," he replied. "But if you keep polishing off those donuts, you might not be so tiny anymore."

Her expected quip didn't come, and he realized that the champagne might already be working its magic on her. Logan was well aware of the effect this particular drink had on Veronica. Champagne made her relaxed and giddy. _And horny as hell._

Veronica wiped the crumbs off of her shirt, a process that made her halter top slip dangerously low for a precious few seconds. Logan forced his gaze back up to her face, and was surprised to see that she was watching him with a little half-smile on her lips. She lifted her glass and drank, then handed it back to him, empty. "More, please."

Logan stood up and poured each of them a refill. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that this was the first time he'd been alone with Veronica in weeks. _Since Thanksgiving. And it's the first time we've been alone since she broke up with Piz. _He handed her the drink, feeling a little nervous. He felt like he had to be careful, now, not to say or do the wrong thing. _Things are going so well. I don't want to fuck this up._

They sat in silence for a few moments, both sipping on their drinks. Before five minutes had passed, Veronica slid her glass back towards Logan. He looked down to see that it was empty again. "You, uh, might want to take it easy," he said mildly. "I suspect Duncan and Mia won't be too pleased with me if they find out _I'm_ the one responsible for getting you wasted on their special day."

Veronica laughed. "What do you think I'm gonna do, make out with one of her bridesmaid cousins in the middle of the ceremony?"

"We can only hope," he replied, holding up crossed fingers.

She rolled her eyes. "The wedding is hours away. I promise I'll pace myself, after the next one."

"Okay," he agreed. He finished off his own glass and poured them each another.

"Thanks," she said, reaching for the glass he held out in front of her. She took another sip, then sighed. Logan could see her eyes were a bit glassy, and he knew she was buzzed. Veronica looked at him. "So I don't know if you heard, but I got dumped."

_Well that's an interesting way to phrase it… The way Mac made it sound, _she_ was the one who wanted to end their relationship. So did Mac have it wrong? Was _Piz_ really the one to break it off? I guess he must have been. Why would she say that, otherwise?_ Logan kept his voice steady as he digested that piece of information. "I did hear about that, actually."

"You did?" she asked, surprised. "Oh."

He shrugged. "Yeah, I think Mac mentioned something about it, a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh," she said again. Veronica took another sip of her drink, her expression giving nothing away.

"So are you guys, like, friends now, or…?" Logan asked, looking down at the table. He wasn't sure why he'd asked that. Yes, he was still very curious about what had gone down between the two of them- but he didn't really want to talk about Piz. Not now. He just wanted things to go back to how they'd been a few minutes ago, easy and relaxed. But something had changed in the air between them, suddenly, and he wasn't sure how it had happened.

"No," Veronica replied flatly. "He hates me, actually."

Logan glanced back up at her, surprised by her tone. He thought he saw a little sadness in her eyes, for a moment; but Veronica looked down then, and he wasn't sure if he'd imagined it. Logan felt uncertain all over again, his confidence shaken. His thoughts were a little muddled from the champagne. He finished off his drink in one long gulp, setting his glass back on the table noisily.

"Logan?" Veronica asked.

"Huh?" he replied, glancing up at her.

She caught his eye and held it. "I don't want to talk about Piz," she stated. Veronica reached out and took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently. "I missed seeing you around, these last couple of weeks. Is everything okay?"

At her touch, Logan felt the uncertainty and anger fade back into the recesses of his mind. He smiled at her. "Yeah. Everything is great."

"Am I allowed to have one more?" she asked, tilting her head.

He chuckled and squeezed her hand. It was such an un-Veronica thing to do, asking him permission for something, that he knew she must be getting drunk. Logan didn't care, anymore, if the two of them were a little tipsy for the wedding. He'd make sure they didn't get to the point where they made fools of themselves. She was here with him, now. That was all that mattered. _We're going to spend the whole day together, and I'm going to make sure we both enjoy ourselves._ He pulled his hand away from hers and got up to make her another drink. _And there will be no more talk of fucking Piz for the rest of the day._

The sound of footsteps behind him made Logan turn around. Duncan and Mia entered the room together, holding hands.

"Good morning," Mia said with a big smile. "I hope you guys slept well."

"Like a baby," Logan lied easily. Veronica just nodded, looking a little loopy.

Duncan caught her expression and glanced at Logan, who was still making the mimosas. His eyes swept over the table, where an empty bottle of champagne sat. Then he looked back over at Veronica, whose attempt at feigning innocence was marred by her glassy eyes and wide smile. She pointed to Logan. "He did it."

"Wow, Mars. Remind me never to commit a crime with you. I had no idea you'd fold so quickly," Logan replied.

Duncan chuckled. "I suppose he told you it was sparkling cider?"

"That's right," Veronica replied. "He duped me."

"Not quite," Logan said dryly, handing her the refill. He gave her a suggestive smile. "We both know you _begged me_ for more."

Veronica blushed, trying to cover it up by taking a long sip of her drink. Logan grinned at her, not bothering to hide his pleasure at her reaction. There'd been more than one occasion when she _had_ begged him for more, and they both knew it. When Veronica finally set her glass down and looked into Logan's eyes, he was certain that she was thinking about one of those occasion's that very minute. They stared at each other across the table, the tension palpable.

Carmela and Lilly walked in then, distracting both of them. The little girl walked over to him immediately, trying to get his attention as she babbled about the dress she was going to wear later. Logan smiled and nodded, but his thoughts were still on Veronica. His determination to hear her beg for him once again had tripled in the last few minutes. He glanced back over at her, imagining the room empty of everyone except the two of them again. _I'd sweep everything off of this table and take her right here, until she screamed my name…_

"Logan?" Duncan was asking.

"Huh?"

"Mia was just asking if you wanted some coffee?"

"Oh. No thanks, I'm good," he replied. He took a deep breath, suddenly aware that he wouldn't be able to get up for a few minutes without a good deal of embarrassment. He struggled to clear his mind of thoughts of Veronica's naked body below him, focusing instead on a magnet of a palm tree on the refrigerator. Duncan started a conversation with him, and he let himself become absorbed in it. After a few moments, Logan had blocked Veronica's presence out of his mind so effectively that he was surprised to realize that she was talking to someone on her cell phone.

Logan looked back at Duncan. "Is she on the phone with her dad?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Logan frowned, hoping that Keith hadn't picked out his voice in the background. He didn't want Veronica to catch shit for the fact that he was there, especially since she hadn't known about him coming. _And what if he realizes how drunk she is? He'll know I'm to blame. And he'll think even less of me than he already does. _But Veronica looked up at him then, and replied, "Yeah, he is, actually," and Logan knew Keith had definitely heard him.

Veronica just smiled though, looking a little taken aback. "It does?" she asked. She paused and then laughed. "A drug cartel? Dad, please. Even _I_ need a vacation from crime-solving from time to time." She listened for a moment and then laughed again. "Okay, I promise to call you tomorrow. Love you. Bye." She shook her head and looked up at Logan.

"What?" he asked.

"My dad is happy that you're here," she told him. She made a face. "He said the more people that are here to look out for me and 'keep me out of trouble', the better."

Logan was surprised, but pleased. All he'd ever wanted from Keith was for him to trust him with Veronica. _Maybe the old man is finally starting to come around. Now all I need is for his daughter to follow suit._

Lilly was in front of him again, demanding his attention. This time, he was able to give it to her. It was still a little disconcerting to look at this little girl and see Lilly's eyes, _his_ Lilly's eyes, looking back at him. It was stranger still to see echoes of her facial expressions and mannerisms, even her personality. But once he'd gotten over his initial shock, he'd decided that it was pretty cool that so much of Lilly had passed on to this child. And he felt a special connection with her because of it. She was still wearing the puka shell necklace he'd given her last night, and that made him smile.

He glanced over at Veronica, who was watching him with Lilly, a slight smile on her lips and a dreamy expression in her eyes. When she caught Logan looking at her, she straightened up and gestured to her drink. "These are _really_ good," she remarked. "I'm liking the lazy day idea, so far."

"I thought you might," he replied.

Veronica glanced at Duncan and Mia, who were talking by the coffee maker; she looked back at Logan. "I think I'm drunk," she confessed in a whisper. "I hope I don't trip and fall into the pool during the ceremony."

She started giggling, which made Logan start laughing, too. Neither one of them could stop for a solid minute. Duncan looked over at them a little warily. Then he rolled his eyes and smiled, apparently deciding he wasn't worried about it. He walked over to them and pointed to Veronica. "_You_ have to learn how to pace yourself." Duncan looked at his watch. "It's 8:30 in the morning."

"I will, I will," she promised, composing herself. "_No mas_." He walked away, and she gave Logan a conspiratorial wink. "For at _least_ an hour."

He grinned at her. "I always knew you were a fast learner."

**xxXxx**

They spent the day in each other's company. The hours passed in a pleasant blur… breakfast, beach, drinks…afternoon swim, lunch, drinks… wedding set-up, quick shower, more drinks… Veronica had made Logan promise to help her pace herself, so that she wouldn't wind up in the pool, after all- and he'd agreed… _Although the thought of Veronica with a wet dress clinging to her skin _is_ enticing... _

Logan shook his head, forcing the errant thought away. He stood next to his bed in just a pair of boxer shorts, staring down at the suit he'd laid out. _She's getting ready right next door… I wonder what she's wearing, right now… I wonder what she's wearing tonight? She always looks so damn sexy in a dress._ Logan shook his head again and pulled his pants off the bed angrily. _Dude, get a fucking handle on yourself._

He'd been struggling all day to keep his desire for her in check… but what had started as a slow burn that morning had raged into a wildfire. His need was so strong that he'd actually had to walk away from her on more than one occasion, to catch his breath. _I thought sitting next to her in class was bad. That was a paid fucking vacation compared to today. Watching her in her bikini this afternoon while she played in the waves…smelling her perfume when she whispered "_mas_" in my ear, every time she wanted another drink…feeling her hands brushing the sand from my back…_

Veronica had been affectionate with him all day, laughing and teasing, flirting… Logan didn't know if it was just because of the alcohol, or if it was more than that. But at this point, he almost didn't care. He was soaking it up, enjoying it- trying desperately not to analyze every suggestive look, every touch. Even though he felt certain that several of them had been deliberately seductive, on her part. _Like when she swam past me in the pool, so close that the entire length of her body brushed across my thighs._

Logan sighed, giving up his attempts not to think about her. It obviously wasn't happening. He stepped into his dark grey pants, zipping and buttoning them, and then shrugged on his button-down shirt. He was hurrying now, just trying to get dressed quickly so he could get back to her. Logan grabbed the beer off his nightstand and finished it in a few long gulps. He'd kept a nice buzz going all day, although he'd been careful not to get too drunk. _But I need to do something to drown out thoughts of her, or I'm not going to be able to control myself anymore._

It was what he'd been afraid of, these last two weeks: losing control. It was why he'd ignored her phone calls, dodged her on campus, avoided Lit class. Logan didn't want to ruin four months of careful planning and forced composure. He'd been afraid of what would happen when he saw her. He'd been afraid that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from pulling her into his arms and kissing her. _And it can't happen that way._ She_ needs to come to _me_. That's the only way this can work._ He slipped on his socks and shoes, then grabbed his jacket and tie off the bed. _I think I might need something a little stronger than a beer to get me through tonight. _Logan headed out the door and down to the well-stocked bar on the patio.

**xxXxx**

He was standing at the bar, sipping on a scotch, when Veronica walked outside. Logan was grateful that she was still too far away to hear his audible intake of breath. Her dress was simple, but elegant; strapless and midnight blue, it was fitted on top and fell down in loose waves to her mid-calf. She'd pulled her hair up into a neat twist, and still wore no jewelry but her diamond pendant. As always, Veronica looked effortlessly stunning.

Logan was reminded forcefully of the night of the Alterna Prom. He felt the same thing happening to him now that had happened that night- his will was weakening. He'd spent the first half of that night trying to avoid her, trying to resist her, trying to get so drunk that he wouldn't have to think about her anymore. He'd spent the second half of that night watching her, needing her, trying to work up the nerve to apologize. She was the only woman he'd ever known who could level him with a look… and he'd been terrified to tell her how he'd really felt.

Veronica walked over to him and smiled, slightly taller than normal in her heels. "Am I allowed to have my next drink yet?"

"You sure you want to risk it? The pool is right over there," he teased her.

"That's right," she agreed with a pointed look. "Close enough for either _one_ of us to 'accidentally' fall in."

"Hmm. I'm pretty sure the fine people at Armani don't recommend chlorine as a cleaning agent."

"Well then you should be careful where you walk," she suggested innocently. Veronica looked at him, biting her lip. "You look very handsome. I always liked you in that suit."

"Thanks," Logan replied, a little taken aback. He looked down at her. "And you look… beautiful," he said softly.

Veronica smiled at him, that smile he'd only ever seen her use on him. Logan felt his heartbeat speed up, and he cleared his throat. "So, what do you want to drink?"

"I wouldn't say no to one of those margaritas," she suggested.

"You got it," he replied, stepping behind the bar. There were several pitchers of margaritas already made in the refrigerator. He poured a glass for Veronica and handed it to her. "As ordered."

And then Duncan was there, telling him that the ceremony was starting in a few minutes. There'd be very few people there tonight, given the situation. As far as Logan knew, it would just be Mia's family. He'd been so focused on Veronica that he hadn't noticed that everyone else had arrived. Logan set down his drink and turned to her. "Looks like I'm up."

She stepped towards him and silently adjusted his tie. Then she looked at Duncan. "Congratulations," she told him warmly. "I know you and Mia will be very happy together." Veronica walked over to him and gave him a tight hug.

"Thank you," Duncan replied. He pulled away from her and looked from Veronica to Logan. "Thank you both so much for being here."

Logan pulled him into a hug, then slapped him on the back. "Of course, man. Where else would we be?"

Duncan gave him a big smile and exhaled nervously. "All right. Let's go."

**xxXxx**

The ceremony passed by in a haze. Logan remembered standing next to Duncan, thinking briefly that Mia looked pretty in her simple white dress, before he'd searched the crowd for Veronica. He'd spotted her right before the "I do" part of the ceremony, and they'd locked eyes. The next thing he knew, he was dancing with her, a slow dance. Her head rested gently against his chest, his arms circled her waist, and he was in heaven.

Time passed. Eventually, he found himself sitting outside with Veronica, Duncan and Mia, just like he'd been the previous night. They were outside on the patio, and everyone else had left. There was a pitcher of margaritas on the table, and Duncan was suggesting that they play "I've Never" again. He turned to Logan. "What do you think, you up for it?"

Logan hesitated before answering. Attempts at being completely truthful with Veronica hadn't ended well, in the past. And playing "I've Never" with _this _Veronica was going to be vastly different from playing it with the much younger, puritanical Veronica. Logan knew she wouldn't play fair. Neither would Duncan, for that matter. Both of them had far too much dirt on him for comfort. He knew they'd have him drinking so often that he'd most likely slip over the edge he was already teetering on, into the realm of wasted oblivion. But he just shrugged, not wanting to spoil anyone's fun. "Sure," he finally agreed.

Duncan poured everyone a fresh round of margaritas. Logan took a piece of bread from the basket in the middle of the table and ripped off a large chunk with his teeth. He hoped it would help absorb a little of the alcohol.

Veronica laughed, watching him eat. "Wow, Logan. I didn't realize you were part wolf."

He swallowed the bread and smirked at her. "'You _run_ to the wolf in me. That don't make you no lamb.'"

Mia grinned, getting the reference. "Oh, I love _Moonstruck_!" she said. "So romantic. Duncan didn't want to watch it but I made him and he loved it."

Duncan shook his head, but then smiled indulgently at his wife. "It really was good," he admitted. "Okay, I'll start." He looked at Logan pointedly. "I've never slept with someone whose name I didn't know."

Logan rolled his eyes at him. "So do I drink just the one time, or is it one for each?" he asked dryly.

"I'm not sure we have enough margaritas to do it the second way," Duncan joked.

Logan took a sip. "I've never dated someone who I didn't love." He took another sip of his drink, and glanced at Veronica. She was also taking a drink. _Interesting. Although she could be thinking about Troy Vandegraff, and not Piz, for all I know._

Duncan whispered something in Mia's ear, and she spoke up. "I've never gone skinny dipping."

Everyone drank, and Logan grinned at Veronica. "Atta girl."

Veronica was up, and Logan braced himself. "I've never kissed Veronica Mars," she said.

He turned to her with a smile. "I see you went the PG-13 route there," he observed.

Veronica made a face at him. "Bite me."

"Anywhere in particular? Or would you like me to choose? If I remember correctly, that spot on your neck was always a crowd pleaser."

She blushed, but reached over and pushed his drink closer to him. "I believe you need to drink."

"It's a good thing I only need to drink the one time, and not one for each," Logan replied, raising an eyebrow. But he dutifully took another sip.

They went around a few more times, keeping it pretty mellow. Logan suspected they were all trying to keep it tame for Mia's sake. Yet Duncan and Veronica still managed to get him to take a drink with pretty much every question, and Duncan continued to whisper questions in Mia's ear when it was her turn. Most of the questions were geared specifically towards Logan.

"I've never organized a bum fight."

"I've never been involved in a late night rumble on a bridge with a motorcycle gang."

"I've never gotten detention for putting my English teacher's car on the flagpole."

"I've never bashed in someone's headlights with a crowbar."

Logan could feel himself slipping into dangerous territory. And then Mia stood up and announced she was going to bed. Duncan made to stand up, but she put her hand on his shoulder. "Stay with your friends for a bit. I'm going to check on Lilly."

"I'll come with you," he replied.

She smiled at him. "I'd like to spend a few moments alone with her, if that's okay. She is my daughter too, now."

Duncan squeezed her hand. "Okay," he agreed quietly. "I'll be up in a few minutes." He gave her a kiss, and Mia said goodnight to everyone and went inside. It was Duncan's turn, so he continued the game. "I've never been arrested by Sheriff Lamb."

Veronica and Logan both drank, then Logan was up. He looked at Veronica. "I've never blackmailed a judge."

She made a face at him but drank. She paused for a moment. "I've never slept with Kendall Casablancas."

Logan rolled his eyes and drank. But he realized that Veronica was looking pointedly at Duncan, not him. He looked back and forth from Veronica to Duncan. "Wait a minute Duncan. Don't answer yet." He turned towards Veronica. "Are you seriously still dwelling on that? Why does it matter anymore? It was two years ago."

She shrugged. "I don't know why it matters. It just does."

"Maybe because you have a compulsive need to get to the bottom of every single issue, even when it's better left alone?" he suggested. He'd meant it to come out as a joke, but there was an angry edge to his voice. Logan could see the hurt in Veronica's eyes for a second, before she looked away; he felt horrible.

"Well, I never did," Duncan said quietly, trying to diffuse the tension. "That's why I'm not drinking." He cleared his throat. "I've, uh, never had sex on the beach."

Logan glanced at Veronica. They both drank. "I've never had sex in a library," Logan said with a raised eyebrow, still looking at her.

Veronica bit her lip on a smile, and they both drank again. Duncan looked from her to Logan, shaking his head. Veronica was up again, and she gave them both a rueful smile. "I've never been accused of committing murder by Veronica Mars."

Duncan and Logan both couldn't help but laugh as they drank. It sounded so ridiculous when you said it out loud. "Ah, Neptune," Duncan said. "I kinda miss it. Uh, let's see… I've never flattened one of Veronica's tires."

Logan sighed and took a drink, looking at Veronica apologetically. She narrowed her eyes at him. "I _knew _it was you."

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I was a dick." He turned to Duncan. "Thanks, buddy. And just for that… I've never made out with Madison Sinclair." Logan set his drink down deliberately. _I never did kiss her, that night. I want Veronica to know that. _But to his surprise, Veronica was once again watching Duncan, who was taking a drink.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about that?" she asked him. "I heard she was your girlfriend, once upon a time. And you never broke up with her before we started dating. Is that true?"

Duncan nodded, his expression wistful. "Yeah. It is." He looked at her in confusion. "How did you even hear about that?"

"A little birdie told me."

"Was it Lilly?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"No. So why didn't you ever end things with her?" Veronica asked.

Duncan shrugged. "Because I was like thirteen, and I was an idiot? I guess I just figured it wouldn't bother her."

"Well, it did," Veronica said quietly.

"And how do you know that?" Duncan wondered.

"Was she best friends with Lilly, before I was?" Veronica asked, ignoring his question. Logan looked from her to Duncan, wondering where her sudden interest in Madison was coming from.

Duncan looked thoughtful. "Yeah, I guess she was. She was over our house a lot, anyway. But Lilly got kind of bored with her." He shrugged. "You know how she was. Madison didn't have much of a sense of humor."

Logan turned back to Veronica, who looked thoughtful. She glanced at his untouched glass on the table and smiled. Duncan set his empty drink down. "Well, I better get upstairs to my wife." He smiled. "Wow. My wife," he repeated, sounding amazed. "I can't believe how lucky I am."

"Aww," Logan said, grinning at his friend. He glanced at Veronica, whose face was blank. He shook his head at her. "You don't have a single romantic bone in your body, do you?"

"I do so!" she insisted.

Logan laughed. "I beg to differ, my dear. You once told me that you wanted to dispel any and all romantic notions about us. Then you offered to show me your warts."

Duncan made a face. "Um, ew. Is there something I should get checked out?"

"I just meant I wanted us to be honest with each other," Veronica said defensively.

"Well there's honesty, and then there's _honesty_," Logan replied.

"Yeah, we all know _your_ definition of honesty differs from most people," she returned.

"And so does yours."

"Oh yeah? How?"

Logan smiled at her, warming to the discussion. He hated to admit it, but nothing got him going like a good argument with Veronica. The way she was looking at him right now, cheeks flushed and eyes intense… she was pretty much irresistible. "You think everyone should be picked clean to the bones like roadkill, exposed for who they really are. A person can do ninety-nine good things and _one_ thing that's a little questionable, and you focus on that one thing they did wrong. And then you use that as proof that they can't be trusted."

"You think you can be a little bit more general than that, Logan? Or should we get into the specifics of that _one thing_ they did wrong?" she asked, her eyes snapping. "What if that _one thing _is, say, murder? Or rape? Doesn't that cancel out those ninety-nine other things?"

"I said it was something a _little _questionable, not a major crime. So no, obviously if someone commits _murder_, it cancels out all the times they carried groceries inside for the little old lady who lives across the street," he replied. Logan locked eyes with her. "All I'm saying is that _everyone_ has flaws. But is it fair to expose those flaws to the rest of the world? Would you really want to hear about all of your _own_ flaws?"

"Why not? It wouldn't bother me."

"Oh really?" he asked sarcastically.

"Really," she insisted. "Lay it out for me." She looked at Duncan. "Both of you. Tell me. Tell me why I made such a crappy girlfriend."

"I think I'll pass," Duncan laughed, standing up. "I like having all of my limbs. Good night guys. Try not to kill each other, okay? I'm pretty fond of both of you."

They said good night to him. After he went inside, they lapsed into silence for several minutes. They each finished their drink, and Logan poured them both refills. He knew they were both far passed the point of needing more, but he didn't care at this point. His adrenaline was still coursing through him from his argument with Veronica. Logan looked at her. "Fine," he finally spoke up, taking up her challenge. "Are you ready?"

Veronica looked a bit nervous, but she nodded her head.

Logan turned his chair to face her more fully, sure that he was insane for doing this. But he was too tempted at the prospect of voicing some of the things he'd always bitten his tongue on. He loved her more than ever; but she'd hurt him too, over the years. _She says she knows her flaws, and maybe she does. But I think she's too stubborn to see the truth. Sometimes she puts ideals above people, and that's not fair._

"You're insanely jealous, even when it's not warranted," he began. "And you refuse to let the past stay in the past." Veronica frowned and glanced away, and Logan knew she was fully aware of what he referred to. But she looked back in his direction with resolve a few seconds later, and he continued.

"As previously discussed," he went on, "you're like a rabid dog when it comes to finding out the truth; and you don't seem to care _who_ you hurt along the way. You're _completely_ incapable of trusting anyone who you're not related to by blood. You constantly jump to the wrong conclusions. You think you're morally superior to everyone else, which is pretty funny actually because you're no angel yourself. You always have to be the one in control. And you absolutely _never_ think about the consequences of your actions."

Veronica looked at him for a moment, swallowing hard, and then she looked down. "Don't mince words. Tell me how you really feel," she said softly.

"You asked."

She nodded. "You're right. I did." Veronica set her drink down and stood up, not looking him in the eye. "Wow. It's a miracle I have any friends at all." She walked quickly towards the house without another word.

Logan got up without a second thought, reaching her just as she'd opened the sliding glass door. He grabbed her hand as she stepped over the threshold into the house. She tried to pull away from him, but he held her steady, not letting her leave.

"Logan-" she protested.

He put both hands on her shoulders, looking at her intently. "Now let me tell you about the good parts." Logan ran the backs of his fingers gently down the side of her face as he spoke. "You're smart. Funny. Loyal. Unique. Witty." He pulled her closer to him, whispering in her ear. "Sensitive. Fun. Sexy… Fantastic in bed…" Logan turned his head so that his lips were less than an inch away from hers. "The most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on."

Logan looked into her eyes. Some part of his brain, maybe the batch of cells that were still managing to stay afloat above the sea of tequila, was trying to remind him that this wasn't the plan. _She's supposed to come to you. This isn't supposed to happen in Mexico, at her ex-boyfriends house. And you're not supposed to be drunk. _

But he was starving, and Veronica was the only thing that could sate him. Her touch, her kiss, her body. So Logan listened to the other batch of cells, the ones happily swimming in Tequila Sea, telling him to come on in because the water was fine. _You want her. You know she wants you too. Take her._

He remembered every kiss with Veronica. From the first one at the Camelot, to their last at the hotel, a light peck on the lips as she'd whispered goodbye in the early morning. But while they were all different physically, every single kiss had made him feel the same way emotionally. _Content. At peace. At home._ This one was no different.

It was supposed to be gentle. But as soon as his lips met hers, as soon as he tasted that familiar cherry-flavored lip gloss and smelled her unique scent, the desire that had been pent up inside for so long shot through him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, crushing her to him as they kissed again and again. Hard, wet bruising kisses- then soft, slow, tender. _And she's kissing me back. _Veronica let out a breathless moan that made Logan clench his hand tightly on her hip.

There were a million things that he wanted to say to her. That he loved her, that he missed her, that he needed her. But he was on sensory overload, and it didn't help that he felt a little dizzy from all of the alcohol he'd consumed that day. He took the clip out of her hair and tossed it away, tangling his hand in her hair as he pressed her head towards him.

Veronica was running her nails not-so-lightly up his bare back, below his shirt. She was nipping at his neck with her teeth, like a kitten. Logan reveled in the perfect balance between her nibbles and scratches, and the smooth softness of her body- from the fistful of her silky hair, curled through his fingers, to the flat, tight muscles of her lower back.

Veronica pulled her mouth away from his for just a second, taking a breath. She looked up at him. "Logan, maybe we shouldn't."

He grinned at her, leaning in for another kiss. "Of course we should."

She smiled and kissed him back, but paused again a moment later. "But we… we always do this. Don't you think we should talk about this first?"

"We have all weekend to talk," he said dismissively. Logan pulled her back to him; he needed her closer. He reached down to her bare leg, running his hand below the skirt of her dress and up her thigh. He lifted her up easily and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Veronica murmured something unintelligible, and the next thing he knew, they'd fallen onto the couch. Logan placed his hands on either side of her to prop up his own body, not wanting to crush her under his weight.

Logan shifted his weight to his left arm and leg, leaving his right hand free. He ran his fingers across her bare shoulder and down the silk of her dress, feeling her hard nipple below his palm, realizing that she wasn't wearing a bra under her dress. His fingers were searching for a zipper when she put her hand on his, holding it lightly by the wrist.

"What's wrong ?" he asked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking maybe we should go up to my room. We're kind of…" She trailed off as he kissed the hollow of her neck softly and then bit down lightly.

"Exposed...?" he whispered into her neck. Logan gave up on finding her zipper and decided instead to work from the bottom up. He sat up and moved down a bit on the couch. He slid the skirt of her dress up towards her thighs, then her hips, revealing her bare stomach. His breath caught at a glimpse of her black lace panties. Logan leaned his head down, kissing a soft trail across her stomach.

"It's just…"

She didn't continue, but Logan stopped and looked up. He pulled himself up so that he was leaning over her again and looked into her eyes. "Just what?"

"Nothing," she said, reaching for him. "Forget it. Kiss me."

"What were you going to say?" he asked, starting to get concerned.

"Huh? Nothing. I don't remember," she said, trying to pull him back down again.

It took all of his willpower, but Logan didn't budge. He looked down at her, noting how glassy her eyes were and how out-of-it she looked. _She's really drunk. God, _I'm_ really drunk. I don't want her to regret this. _He exhaled and sat up straighter. "No, tell me."

Veronica sighed. She pulled herself into a seated position and pushed the skirt of her dress back down. "I was going to say that maybe we shouldn't rush into things."

"Why not?" he asked, feeling a little hurt. "You're single, _I'm_ single…"

"I was just thinking that Piz-"

"You were thinking about Piz?" he asked, instantly alert.

"What? No," she said dismissively. "I was just thinking that Piz and I only broke up two weeks ago. But that doesn't-"

Logan stood up, anger coursing through him. "So while we were kissing, you were thinking about _him_?" he demanded.

"_No_," she said insistently, frowning. "That's _not_ what I said. Will you just listen to me?"

"God, I'm a fucking fool."

"Wait, Logan, you don't understand. I was trying to tell you that-" she began.

"No, I understand completely," he said, throwing up his hands. "I'm a total, _fucking_ fool. I just never learn. After all of these months, waiting-"

"Months?" Veronica asked, looking confused. "What are you talking abou-"

Logan raised his voice, talking over her. "And now I'm the _rebound_ guy? For _him_? Are you fucking _kidding_ me?"

"_What?_" Veronica asked, starting to look a little angry herself. She grabbed his arm. "Logan, will you just _listen_ to me for one freaking second?"

"_No_, Veronica," he said bitterly, pulling his arm away from her. All he could see, suddenly, were the two of them in his mind. _Her smiling at him, laughing with him, like she did that day in the cafeteria. I've been thinking of nothing but her for months, and just when I finally think she's mine again… _He shook his head, staring at her angrily. "You see this? This is _me _running away from _you._ Welcome to the last four fucking years of my life." And with that he turned and walked out of the room.

**A/N Your chances to review are drawing to a close. Only two chapters left… So please, take a minute to tell me your thoughts. Reviews are like a super cheesy bag of Doritos. Each one more delicious than the last! :)**

**Before you guys get TOO mad at me for another cliffhanger, it was either leave it here and post now or keep going and post in a week or two…**

**(Self-pimping) If you watch The Borgias, The Killing, Game of Thrones, Fringe or any of the other shows I watch, check out my blog. Link is on my profile where it says "home page". And please, let me know what you think. (/self-pimping)**


	18. Quarter Moon

**A/N Hello my darlings! How I've missed you all. I'm so, so, sorry for the extended wait on this chapter. It was unintentional. As some of you know, I was experiencing some pretty intense writer's block (on top of the usual stress/lack of time). I'm making it up to you by giving you a long chapter. A very, very long chapter. (49 pages? Yup.) I really hope that it's worth the wait.**

**Quick note: There are some anachronisms here. I do that intentionally. I like to think that this story isn't static, but still going on today. So I've never been too concerned about pop culture refs that are too new. I hope it's not too distracting for anyone.**

**Thank you all so, so much for your insanely fantastic reviews. It seemed like every time I didn't know how I'd ever get this chapter done, I'd get a new review. Which totally helped motivate me to figure it out. I have to say an extra special thank you to HoneyBee1, KatiePotatie, TXQuill & fatherlessgirls, for their encouragement and general awesomeness.**

**This one is for all of the musicians out there. You guys rock. Ha! Pun.**

**Get comfy and grab a Snickers…**

**Chapter 18**

Veronica

Veronica awoke with a throbbing headache. _Damn. What the hell happened last night?_ She blinked a few times at the bright sunlight streaming in from the window. Without lifting her head from the pillow, she turned to the right and squinted angrily at the sun. She shut her eyes and pulled the blanket up over her face. After a moment, she pushed it back down and opened her eyes again. _Wait a minute. What's the window doing over there? _

She sat up quickly, and regretted it immediately. Her vision blurred and she gripped the side of the mattress. Veronica closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She opened one eye, then the other, and carefully turned her head from right to left, taking in her surroundings. _This isn't my room._ She caught sight of a watch sitting on the nightstand, next to an empty beer bottle that lay on its side. _And that's not my watch. That's a man's watch… That's Logan's watch… I'm in Logan's room. But…_ _where the hell is Logan?_

Veronica looked down, half expecting to find herself naked. But to her surprise, she was still clad in the dress she'd worn to Duncan and Mia's wedding. Utterly confused, she lay back down on the bed gingerly, facing away from the window. She stared at the empty left side of the bed, Logan's side of the bed, and wondered again where he was. She closed her eyes, trying to piece together her muddled memories of the last thirty-six hours…

They were all of Logan.

_She's waking up on Duncan's couch, and Logan's arm is wrapped around her waist. In the groggy moments of newly regained consciousness, the familiar warmth and solidity of his arm seems perfectly natural. It isn't until she becomes slightly more cognizant that she realizes… Logan has been holding her in her sleep. This knowledge brings hope. The promise of spending another day with him stretches before her enticingly, and she falls asleep that night with a smile on her lips…_

_When she awakens the next morning, she gets dressed immediately and goes looking for him. She has decided that she doesn't want to wait until tomorrow to talk, after all. She is going to talk to him today. And then she finds him, lounging lazily on the hammock in his green t-shirt and cargo shorts. Logan squints up at her, one bare leg dangling over the side. She has to smile at the image. Logan pulls off casual sexiness like no one else. She approaches him immediately, trying to talk him into going somewhere with her so that they can be alone…_

_But the next thing she knows, they're drinking mimosas. Logan's flashing her that careless grin of his as they clink their glasses together. Their talk will have to wait. That's okay, though, because she's having a blast with him. She watches him with Lilly at breakfast, listening patiently to the little girl as she babbles about fishies and shows him her favorite doll. He's wonderful with her. She loves that he can still surprise her, after all of these years. For the first time, she finds herself picturing Logan as a father… _

_Spending the day with him is sweet torture. She aches for him all day long… Yet she also revels in getting to spend hour after uninterrupted hour in his company. She's letting him set the pace, for once. Following his lead…_

_Logan does a perfect dive into Duncan's pool, and she watches him… watches the way his muscles cord and relax as he swims effortless towards her. Her mind travels to the summer before senior year, to all of those days they'd spent together, fooling around in his pool. He'd been so patient with her, waiting until she was ready. Veronica isn't sure what had been stopping her, back then, because she'd wanted him, too. But there was something about taking it slow with him, drawing it out, that just felt so right. Her _real _first time would be with Logan, and she'd wanted it to mean something. _

_He was the only guy she'd ever been with who she just wanted to kiss, all of the time._ _She'd been worried that they'd stop kissing like that, once they'd had sex. _But we never stopped kissing like that._ Veronica smiles at the thought, and dives beneath the water. She swims past Logan, hoping that he'll chase her the way he used to, catching her around the waist with both arms and pulling her to the surface for a kiss…_

Veronica came back to reality slowly, somehow afraid to search her memories any farther. She had the nagging feeling that the images in her mind were about to get much less pleasant. But she closed her eyes again, anyway, needing to follow the story to its conclusion. Needing to know what happened next. The memories stopped playing like a movie, instead becoming more broken and bitten off.

_He's standing at the bar in the back yard, staring at her as she walks towards him. He's wearing the same suit he wore the day she broke up with him. He looks devastatingly handsome, and so grown up. Veronica thinks about how proud she is of the man he's become…She's in his arms, and they're swaying back and forth to the music. She can smell his cologne. She lays her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat…_

_She feels warm and hazy. She knows she's had too much to drink, but she doesn't want this day to end… They're outside, playing "I've Never" with Duncan and Mia… Logan asks about kissing Madison, but he doesn't drink. She's so relieved that Madison was telling the truth, that Logan's lips have never touched hers…She and Logan are alone, and they're arguing. He's pointing out all of her flaws, and she realizes that everything that he's saying is true. She worries that he's done with her for good, and she gets up to leave…he follows her into the house, and then…_

_Oh my god, we kissed. _Veronica's eyes snapped open. _We didn't just kiss, we _kissed.

The images started to come faster.

_He's holding me tightly, I'm biting his neck, he's running his hand up my leg, I'm wrapping my legs around his waist, we're falling, falling backwards onto the couch… His hands are everywhere, his mouth hot against my neck, and oh god I've missed him so much. His skin, his hair, his scent…_

_I wanted to talk to him before anything like this happened. I wanted to know if he thinks we can make this work…I know that we need to talk when we're both sober, so I was going to wait until tomorrow. I have it all planned out, I know exactly what I want to say… _

_I'm…trying to take it slow, but he's making it impossible. I try to speak up, but I know my attempts are weak, half-hearted…Because really, I don't want to talk anymore. I just want _him_. And then he's pulling up my dress, and kissing my stomach, and it's too late for talking now anyway. I don't care. I need him… But, suddenly…we're fighting again. His eyes are full of hurt, his voice angry and bitter. And then he's gone. _

_What the hell happened? _

Veronica closed her eyes, trying hard to remember what they'd fought about. _I was trying to talk to him again, to tell him that I don't care anymore if we rush into things… that I know what I want now. That I don't care that it's only been a couple of weeks since I broke up with- _

_Oh. I remember now. I said the "P" word. Smooth, Veronica. Smooth. No wonder he ran out on me like that._

Veronica sighed and pulled the blanket back up over her head. _Alright. Then what happened? I remember sitting on the couch, looking up at Logan as he paced back and forth. Watching him get more and more angry…_

"_You see this? This is _me_ running away from _you_. Welcome to the last four fucking years of my life." _

_Veronica stares after him, too shocked to move. She stares for a full ten minutes, trying to make sense of the last eighteen hours. The day they've spent together has been wonderful- nearly perfect, even. And then…_ How the hell did we go from arguing, to making out, and then back to arguing again?

_She leans back against the couch and sighs. _Just last night, I woke up to find him holding me, right here in this very spot. And for the first time in a long time, I felt like everything was going to be okay with us. But nothing has changed. It's still the same old rollercoaster. Even more rickety than before. _She crosses her arms, determined not to chase after him. Convinced that this is all Logan's fault, as usual._

_But then her heart starts beating at a normal pace again, and the adrenaline stops coursing through her veins. Her thoughts clear a bit. She realizes how drunk she is, how blown out of proportion everything just got. She realizes just how much she wants to spend the night in his arms. _He took what I said the wrong way. So I'm just going to have to explain it to him until he takes it the right way. I'll go to his room, and force him to listen to me. And if he won't let me in, I'll… Okay, I don't know what I'll do, but I'll figure something out.

_Veronica stands up and makes her way towards the bathroom. It's slow going in the dim lighting, but she's afraid to turn on a light and potentially wake someone up. When she finally finds the bathroom, she goes inside and splashes cool water on her face. She lets the water run for several minutes as she looks into the mirror. Her eyes are glassy and pink, and her makeup is smudged. But she looks at her reflection with resolve. _I refuse to let some stupid misunderstanding mess everything up between us. Not now. Not again.

_She pats her face dry and makes her way upstairs. She knocks on the door, but there's no answer. "Logan?" she calls softly. There's still no answer. Veronica tries the door knob, and she's surprised when it turns and the door gives way in front of her. She steps inside. It's dark, so she feels her way around cautiously until she discovers the bed. She bends down and pats the edge of the mattress, then the center. But there is nothing but soft blanket beneath her fingers. Veronica fumbles around, looking for the lamp on the nightstand. She knocks something over and it clatters noisily. She finally finds the switch and twists it on._

_The room is empty…_

_And that's where my memories end. What happened next? Did I try and find him? Did I go after him?_ Veronica didn't have her car, so she couldn't have driven anywhere. _I wouldn't have anyway. Dad drilled the drunk driving lesson into my head far too hard for me to break that particular rule. And I doubt I tried to wake up Duncan or Mia on their honeymoon night. _

_So, what, did I just fall asleep waiting for him to come back?_ Veronica caught site of her phone, then, on the other nightstand. She reached across the bed and grabbed it, scrolling through her call log. She'd called Logan three times, last night. But he hadn't called her back.

She sat up straight and leaned against the headboard, starting to get worried. After a second, she dialed Logan's number. It went right to voice mail. Veronica didn't leave a message, deciding instead to head downstairs. She hoped that she'd find him crashed on the couch, or on the hammock, or having a cup of coffee with Duncan and Mia. But when she stood up, waves of nausea swept over her, and she had to lean against the wall for support. _Ugh. I am _never _drinking this much again._

Veronica glanced around the room as she waited for the queasiness to subside, noting absently how neat Logan had kept the room. She was a little embarrassed as she thought of her own room- clothes strewn over the rocking chair, makeup and hair clips scattered liberally atop the dresser. _I didn't even bother to unpack my bag, just picked out clothes as I needed them. But Logan must have, because I don't see his clothes or-_

She stood up straight and walked over to Logan's closet, opening the door wide. There was nothing inside. She turned around and headed to the dresser, opening drawers frantically. They were all empty.

Veronica headed quickly out of the room, ignoring the pounding in her head and the gurgling in her stomach. She jogged down the stairs and into the kitchen, stopping when she reached the threshold. Duncan was sitting by himself at the table, a piece of paper in his hand and a frown on his face. He looked up when Veronica entered the room, and she knew immediately that Logan was gone.

She walked slowly to the kitchen table and sat down across from Duncan. "Is that a note from him?"

Duncan nodded.

"Can I see it?"

He hesitated, then shook his head. He folded up the note and slid it into the pocket of his shorts. "I'm sorry. I know he wouldn't want you to read this."

Veronica closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. She felt Duncan's fingers brush lightly against her arm, and she looked up at him. He was staring at her, his blue eyes solemn as he reached across the table and squeezed both of her hands in his.

"Look, Veronica. I don't know what happened between you guys last night, but just remember- we were all drinking a lot, and sometimes things get blown out of proportion-"

"I know," she interrupted him. She sighed heavily and pulled her hands away, looking at Duncan dejectedly. "Well can you at least tell me where he is?"

"He said he was headed back to Neptune."

"But how did he-" Veronica stopped. If Logan wanted to get somewhere, he'd figure out a way to do it._ He must have taken off while I was in the bathroom, or I would have heard him leave. Did he take the rental car? God, I hope not. He was in no condition to drive. _She stood up abruptly and walked over to the window. The car was gone.

_Damn it, why the hell didn't I just go after him right away? Why did I wait?_ Her head was filled with "why's". _Why didn't I talk to Logan about my feelings sooner? Why did I hesitate?_ _Why did he get _so_ angry with me? _She headed back to the table and slid into the chair, putting her head back into her hands. Veronica closed her eyes, letting the images from her beautiful day with him wash over her once again.

She'd watched him throughout the day, _really_ watched him. The easy way he moved, the playful tone of his voice, the brotherly camaraderie he shared with Duncan. And she'd remembered exactly why she'd fallen in love with him in the first place. Every time their eyes met, every time they shared a smile, she remembered just how happy they could be together. _All we have to do is relax, and enjoy each other's company. It really is that simple…But now I'm stuck in Mexico, and he's gone, and everything is so completely screwed up._

She lifted her head and looked at Duncan. "I think I might have ruined things for good."

He shook his head. "Veronica, this is Logan we're talking about. If there's one thing I know about him, it's that there's pretty much nothing that he won't forgive you for."

"But you don't under-"

"He forgave Lilly," Duncan spoke up softly. "And look at what she did to him." He looked down at the table for a moment, and then back up at her. "Nothing that you did last night can be worse than that. You just need to talk. I know you two will get it all worked out."

Veronica laughed shortly. "We just need to talk…" she repeated. "All we ever _do_ is talk. But we never actually say anything. Not really." She sighed and glanced up at Duncan. "Can I please see that note?"

"No," Duncan replied firmly. "This is one of those times when you need to let it go, Veronica. Okay? Just trust me." When she didn't reply, he continued. "He wrote that note in anger. I know that he wouldn't want you to see it."

Veronica nodded, trying not to dwell on the awful things that Logan must have written about her. She was also trying _very_ hard not to formulate a plan to get the note out of Duncan's pocket…but three or four ideas had already presented themselves to her. Because that note was evidence, and evidence was what she gathered. It was something physical, something concrete that she could study for clues. It offered a peek into Logan's mind, and that was something she desperately wanted right now.

But she suspected that Duncan was right. If she read it, those things Logan had written in an angry, drunken state would always be kicking around in the back of her mind. She also couldn't help but remember Logan's words from last night, about her being incapable of trusting people. And she wanted to prove him wrong. She'd struggled with this issue for years; _they'd _struggled with this issue for years. Now, Duncan was sitting there, asking her to trust him…and she had to make her choice. So, against every instinct she had, she pushed away all thoughts of trying to procure that note.

She put both hands on the table and stood up again. "I have to see him, Duncan. Right now. I need to get back to Neptune. I'm so sorry, I know I'm not supposed to leave until tomorrow. But I have to know that he's okay."

Instead of looking upset, Duncan gave her a wry smile. "You may want to change before you go running out the door. And maybe, um, wash your face."

Veronica looked down at her wrinkled dress. She'd totally forgotten that she was still wearing it. She knew she looked a mess. Duncan was right; she needed to change. She also needed to pack, and she needed to call the airport to change her flight.

She ignored her splitting headache the best she could, focusing instead on the tasks at hand. The first thing she had to do was take care of transportation. She spotted her purse on the counter and pulled out her wallet. Then she called the airport, feeling her frustration mount with each passing moment as she got transferred from person to person. When she finally got someone who seemed moderately competent on the phone, she faced another obstacle. "It costs_ how_ much?" she gasped.

Duncan stood up from the table and gestured at her to hand him the phone. She shook her head in protest, pulling three different credit cards out of her wallet, but he gently took the phone out of her hand. "I'm taking care of this, whether you like it or not," he told her quietly. "Deal with it. Go get packed."

Veronica hesitated for just a second; and then she swallowed her pride and smiled gratefully at him. She gave him a quick hug, and headed upstairs to gather her things together.

**xxXxx**

Logan

_Shit. What the hell happened last night?_

Logan glanced around the room without lifting his head from the pillow, trying to get his bearings. He took in the orange comforter he slept beneath and the geisha girl hanging on the wall, and his eyes widened. _Wait a minute. How the hell did I get back here?_ He turned his head quickly to his right, checking to see if he had company. Normally, when he woke up in a state like this, he wasn't alone. But the bed was empty.

He sighed in relief and sat up gingerly, rubbing the back of his head. There was a dull ache behind his eyes that seemed to be spreading through his skull and down his spine. Logan closed his eyes, trying to think. _The last thing I remember, I was in Mexico, playing a drinking game with Duncan and Veronica… Oh, god. Veronica…_

It was all coming back to him. The mimosas, the beach, the pool, the wedding… Dancing with Veronica, laughing with her, arguing with her… and then kissing her. Elation bubbled up within him at the memory, and he breathed deeply, letting it consume him. The scent of her hair, the taste of her lips, the feel of her body below him. But there was a darkness creeping into the edge of his memory, and as much as he tried to ignore it he was finally forced to look more closely.

_We fought. She said his name, and I saw red. So I took off. And she didn't follow me._

Veronica's words had brought reality crashing down upon him. The reality that she'd spent the better part of the year with another man, and that this man was still in her thoughts. Despite the eight years of history that Logan shared with her, despite the amazing day they'd spent with each other…

_Despite the fact that she ended up in _my_ arms last night. _He's_ still on her mind. And I couldn't fucking handle that. I mean Jesus Christ, how the hell can she be thinking about _him_, when_ all_ I think about is her?_

Logan took a deep breath and rolled over, looking at the empty space where she used to sleep. _But maybe that's the problem… All I've done for months is think about Veronica. Her, and next to nothing else. I waste my days away, scheming and dreaming. And nothing distracts me from thoughts of her, anymore. Not surfing, not drinking, not other women. It can't be healthy. It's bordering on addiction, really._

He'd learned a little bit about the biology of addiction during his _Intro to Psych_ class the previous semester. When an addict was exposed to their particular addiction, the pleasure center of their brain lit up. The same thing that happened when a heroin addict got their fix occurred when a food addict ate a Big Mac, or a compulsive gambler played poker. Their brain cells went wild_. I'd love to see what was going on in there last night, when I was running my hand up her thigh. It probably lit up like fucking Vegas. _

Logan sighed. He was addicted all right, and he very well knew it. Because even now, in the back of his mind, there were half-formed plans to go back to Mexico, to try and talk to her. To apologize, or explain himself; to do whatever the hell he had to do to make things okay with them again. But he was trying very hard to push those thoughts away. _I can't keep doing this shit. I tried impulsive last night, and look where that got me._

He closed his eyes, trying to recall exactly what had happened after they'd argued. _I remember feeling like I had to get the hell out of there. I remember… stuffing all of my crap into my duffel bag and writing a note to Duncan…_

Logan opened his eyes and sat up straight_. Oh no. The note. What the hell did I write? _Try as he might, he couldn't remember exactly what that note said. But he knew the gist of it, and it hadn't been pleasant. _I think I said that I couldn't stand being in the same house with her anymore, that I didn't want to see her face. And then I left it on the kitchen table, like a complete jackass. _Logan remembered that part clearly, leaving it out recklessly, hoping that she'd be the one to find it. He felt sick suddenly, wondering if Veronica really _had_ been the one to find it.

The rest of his memories were spotty, with large chunks of the night missing completely. There were vague images of a dark highway, a bright red airplane seat…stuffing cash into the hand of a stewardess willing to look the other way, as he drank far beyond the allowable limit. Logan remembered deciding that he'd drink until he was oblivious to everything and, more importantly, every_one_. And it must have worked, because beyond that, his memories were gone. He had no idea how he'd managed to get from the airport to the Grand, let alone from the lobby to his own bed.

Drinking with the sole purpose of blacking out in mind had been a frequent form of recreation, back when he'd been in high school. But it had been a very long time since Logan had done it. _Since the last time Veronica and I broke up, I think… _He sighed heavily._ God, I acted like an asshole last night. There I go again, proving her right._

He glanced around the room, making sure there wasn't any evidence that he'd done something illegal during his drunken stupor- or worse, that another woman had been in his room last night. Logan spotted his cell phone on the nightstand and grabbed it, scrolling through his call log quickly. He had five missed calls from her, and three messages. He groaned and tossed the phone onto the bed.

Logan didn't need to listen to the messages; he knew exactly what she'd said. _That I lost my temper and acted like an ass. That I was drunk. That I was reckless, for driving a car in that condition. That I'm a big coward for running away in the middle of the night, instead of facing the problem like an adult. Not like she has a leg to stand on, with that last argument. But still. She'd be right. She'd be right about all of it._

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone buzzing. He picked it back up and glanced down. _Veronica._ Despite everything that he'd just been thinking, Logan moved to answer the call. But he hesitated, his thumb hovering over the answer button as he stared at her name. _I don't think I can take getting reprimanded right now. I don't think I can take hearing that resigned disappointment in her voice. I've had enough of _that_ for a lifetime. _

The phone stopped buzzing, and he sighed heavily and tossed it aside again. He felt anger bubbling up inside of him, all of the sudden. _It's so easy for Veronica to keep her precious moral high ground, but _she's_ the reason we're in this mess in the first place._ _Why the hell did she have to bring up fucking Piz? Why the hell did she stay with him for all of this time? Why didn't she say a word to me after they broke up? Why hasn't she come to me yet? Unless…_

Logan thought back to the previous night. Although Veronica had certainly responded to him, physically, when he'd kissed her…she'd made no breathless declarations of love. _She never even said that she'd missed me._ He tried to focus, to remember specific sentences that she'd uttered. _"Logan, maybe we shouldn't… We always do this. Don't you think we should talk about this first?" _He stared down at his hands, not really seeing them as considered what she'd said. _She was trying to stop me, and I wasn't listening. She _still_ doesn't know what she wants, even now. _

_So what the hell _was_ that, then? Was she just drunk? Was it just physical?_ _God, am I really just the rebound guy?_ For the first time in months, Logan actually let himself entertain the idea that he'd been wrong about her feelings for him. It was a terrifying thought. He'd been so sure of himself, these last few months, that he hadn't dwelled on the possibility of failure. And he certainly hadn't considered what he'd do next, if he did fail. Any time the thought had popped into his head, he'd pushed it away- along with the accompanying despair that threatened to claw its way into his brain.

He lay back down on the bed, his anger fading into exhaustion. _How did I let myself get here again? I swore I'd never let this happen. _Logan put his pillow over his head. _It wasn't supposed to go this way. All of these months, waiting… And I threw it all away because she looked hot in her dress. I showed my hand. Again. And I lost. I let myself believe that things were going to work out, just because I love her. Like this is some kind of fucking fairy tale. I let myself hope that we'd be together by Christmas._

_Well _that's_ clearly not happening. There's no chance I'll be getting an invite to _A Mars Family Christmas_. Not even as a friend. Not after this. _Logan took the pillow from his face and threw it across the room. _The thought of spending another Christmas alone… _He shook his head and stood up. _Fuck that. I'm not staying in Neptune. I don't even want to be in the _country_ for this crap… _

_Stupid decorations up everywhere. Carols about happy families playing in every goddamn convenient store, mocking me. Reminding me that I don't have a family to celebrate with. _Logan grabbed his duffel bag and started tossing the clothes he'd brought to Mexico on the floor, emptying it. _The last Christmas _my_ family spent together? Well let's see. My father got stabbed, and his adultery was exposed in front of the whole town. My mom went to the hospital with him, playing the role of dutiful little wife. Trina never even bothered showing up. And I stayed home and got drunk until I blacked out, like always._

_That's how we did it, Echolls style._

Logan opened up his closet and stared inside. He had no idea what to pack. _I don't even know where I'm going. All I know is that I need to get out of here, out of my own head. Away from her. I need to think about something _other_ than Veronica Mars, for a change. Maybe figure out what the hell I want to do with the rest of my life._ He hesitated, glancing around his room for ideas. His eyes fell on an object on his nightstand, and suddenly he knew exactly where he wanted to go. He walked over to his bed and reached for his phone, scrolling through the contacts until he found the name he was looking for.

"Hi, it's Logan. Good, good. Hey, do you remember what we were talking about last week? Well I think I'm in."

**xxXxx**

Veronica

Veronica was exhausted by the time her plane landed in Neptune. The turbulent trip had done nothing but exacerbate the throbbing in her head and the queasiness in her stomach. She'd managed not to get sick, but that was only because she hadn't been able to eat a thing all day. Yet, despite her desperate desire for her own bed, she drove straight from the airport to the Neptune Grand.

When she knocked on the door, there was no answer. She tried for ten minutes, but the door remained closed. _So he's either not home or he's ignoring me._ Veronica sighed, leaning against the door while she contemplated her next move. Logan hadn't returned any of her calls yet, either. _Well, he can't avoid me forever. I'll come back tomorrow, and we'll talk this out. And I'll make him understand that I _do_ want him in my life; and hopefully, he still wants me too._

She started back down the hallway, but paused after a few steps._ Or… _Veronica reached into her bag for her wallet and pulled out a white plastic keycard. She tapped it against the open palm of her hand a few times, considering. But then she slid it back into its slot in her wallet. _No. It's an invasion of his privacy, and all it would do is piss him off more. There has to be another way to find out if he's okay._

Veronica continued to the elevator and took it down to the lobby. As she walked past reception, she caught sight of a woman with long blonde hair. _Tina._ _Perfect._ She walked over to the desk and waited for her to look up. When she did, Veronica gave her the most charming smile she could manage, in her present condition.

"Veronica! I was hoping I'd see you around. I wanted to thank you, for helping my brother. I can't tell you how much we both appreciate it. Can you believe that little witch?"

"Well, I don't think she'll be pulling that trick again." Veronica rested her elbows on the desk, feeling inexplicably nervous. "So, um, I wanted to ask you… have you seen Logan around today?"

"Uh, yeah," she replied. "I saw him early this morning, when I first started my shift."

Veronica exhaled quietly, relief washing through her. _He made it here in one piece._ She glanced back up at Tina, ready to thank her and say goodbye, when she noticed that she was frowning. "Was he okay?" she asked quickly. "Was he hurt?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that. Just…" Tina lowered her voice and leaned forward. "Between you and me, he was looking a little rough."

"Rough how?"

"Rough like he was so wasted that he could barely stand. I asked Frankie to make sure he got to his room okay." Tina paused. "I haven't seen him like that in a long time."

Veronica nodded, glancing back at the elevator and considering the keycard in her wallet again. _No, I can't._ _He's probably just sleeping it off. _She turned back to Tina and forced a smile. "Thanks, Tina. Can you, um… Can you just keep an eye on him? Make sure he's okay?"

"Of course," Tina promised. "I always do."

Veronica smiled again, trying to push the nagging worries and doubts out of her mind. _Logan's fine. We both had too much to drink. All of this is just a stupid misunderstanding. I'll apologize, and he'll apologize, and everything will be fine._

**xxXxx**

The following day, Veronica sat on the bed in her dorm room, rolling up clothes and stuffing them into a large duffel bag. This was the last day she'd have access to her things before they closed the dorms for the winter, and she hadn't had time to pack properly before she'd left for Mexico. She was just finishing up when she heard a knock on the door. _Logan. It has to be._ She grinned and walked across the room quickly.

It was Piz. He was standing with one hand shoved into his pocket, his shoulders slightly hunched. Veronica's smile faded as she looked up at him. She wasn't sure she could handle getting berated again, especially after the emotional whirlwind of the last couple of days. She cleared her throat. "Hi."

"Hey. I'm, uh- sorry to barge in on you like this. It's just my plane is leaving in a couple of hours, and… I was hoping we could talk in person, before I left. Do you have a minute?"

Veronica nodded, managing a small smile. She opened the door wider, and he followed her inside. She sat down on Mac's bed, somehow not wanting to venture over to her own side of the room with him. There were too many memories. Piz sat down on the couch across from her.

"So, I uh, know the restraining order says I have to be like 100 feet away, but I'm hoping you'll let it slide this one time," Piz said. He gave her a rueful smile, acknowledging how awkward the situation was, and Veronica relaxed slightly. "Listen," he began. "I'm not going to see you for a month, and I didn't want to leave things…you know."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I know."

He scratched the back of his head. "Veronica… I'm really sorry. I can't believe the way I acted. Some of the things I said…"

She shook her head quickly. "No, Piz, _I'm_ the one who's sorry," she said earnestly. "I feel horrible for the way things ended between us. And I feel horrible for the way I treated you. You have every right to be angry with me." She looked down at the ground. "I should have recognized that my feelings for Logan weren't going away." Veronica glanced back up at Piz, who was frowning.

"Veronica, you're not the only one at fault here. I..." Piz hesitated, looking at the door for a few seconds. When he looked back at her, his eyes were full of resolve. He seemed determined to get something off his chest. "You were right. I did have feelings for Emily. I still do." He shrugged. "I'm a big hypocrite."

Veronica looked back at him, feeling a weight lift from her mind. She'd been trying not to dwell on it, especially while she'd been with Logan in Mexico… But beneath the surface, she'd been feeling terribly guilty for the way she'd treated Piz. And she'd been really worried that she'd lost another friend, for good. Friendships didn't come easily to Veronica, and she'd come to cherish the few she had. While she knew that she probably didn't deserve Piz's forgiveness, she'd been desperately hoping that she'd earn it, somehow.

She knew that this was all backwards and abnormal- that his admission to having feelings for another girl shouldn't make her feel better. _But hey, what's _not_ backwards and abnormal, when it comes to my love life?_ _I just watched the man I thought I was in love with for years marry another woman, and I couldn't have been happier about it. Because I was so thrilled that_ _I was getting to spend time with the guy I've _really_ been in love with all of these years… well, minus that year when I kind of hated him. _

Piz continued on in a rush, not waiting for her response. "So, I mean, honestly… I realize that this isn't all your fault. I knew things were weird between us for awhile, and I never said anything either. So that's on me, just as much as it's on you. I _am_ still upset, and… it may take a little while for things to be okay with us again. But I don't want things to be like they've been with us, these last few weeks. You know, not talking at all. I've really missed you."

Veronica smiled at him, a genuine smile this time. "I missed you too," she replied honestly.

Piz smiled back at her. And while it wasn't his normal, easy smile, it was something. _It's a start._ He cleared his throat. "I was watching TV last night, and I caught this old episode of the _Tinseltown Diaries_. It was about, uh, Logan's family."

Veronica nodded slowly, unsure where he was going with the conversation. "Yeah. They still play that one a lot."

"I had no idea," Piz said. "I mean, I knew _some_ of it, but…" He shook his head, looking at her carefully. "I guess he's been through a lot, huh? And you guys must have been through a lot together."

"We have," Veronica said quietly. "Neptune isn't the easiest town to grow up in."

"I sort of see that now." Piz crossed his arms over his chest, speaking quickly. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't _get_ you two. But I _get_ that I don't get it, now, and I know that I probably never will."

Veronica wasn't sure how to respond to that, so she stayed silent.

Piz continued, still looking thoughtful. "You know, there's something else I should probably come clean about."

"What's that?" she asked.

He gave her a rueful smile. "I had feelings for you for awhile. Even back when you and Logan were together. And I always hoped that things wouldn't work out with the two of you, so that one day I could, like, swoop in." Piz gave a short laugh. "I was warned, you know. Wallace told me that I'd be crazy to try and get between the two of you. But I guess I didn't care, as long as I got my shot. I didn't let myself really dwell on the fact that you two might still have feelings for each other. Well, not until he beat me up, anyway."

"Piz-" Veronica began.

He stood up abruptly and waved his hand back and forth quickly. "No, listen, it's okay. We don't have to get into that. I just, um…" Piz reached into his jacket pocket, producing a clear jewel case. "I wanted to give you this."

Veronica glanced down at the case, fighting a smile. "You made me a mix?"

"Yes. And I'm completely aware of the cheesy factor, so there's no need to pity me," he smirked.

"Um, you do realize that we're not twelve, right? And it's not 1985?"

"Oh, ha ha ha, Piz is a big cornball from Beaverton. Just take it, will you?"

He stepped forward and put the case in her hand. Veronica looked down and burst out laughing. Written in black Sharpie were the words, "Breakup Songs to Help Me Get Over Piz".

"For when you're ready to have a good cry about me. Track one, specifically, is a real tearjerker."

"What's on here?" Veronica asked, still laughing.

"Some truly fantastic breakup music. May as well milk this for all it's worth, right? And then, at the end, I threw in a couple of my favorite Elliott Smith tunes. Just because he's awesome."

Veronica looked up at him, feeling incredibly grateful to him for how much easier he was making this. She knew he was being flip to cover up some of the pain; but as someone who'd lived her life that way, she could completely respect that. Impulsively, she stepped towards him and gave him a hug. "Thank you."

He hugged her back, squeezing her tightly just before he let go. When he stepped back, he offered her a tentative smile. "Yeah, well, I've never made a girl cry before, so... It was the least I could do."

"Well I appreciate that," she said. "But you didn't make me cry, for the record. A bug flew into my eye."

"Both eyes?"

"Yes. It was a synchronized attack. They'd practiced for months."

"Just to die a horrible death in your eyes?"

"It's an honored bug tradition."

They both laughed then, and Veronica suddenly knew that everything really was going to be okay with them. She held up the CD. "Thank you, for this. And thanks for coming over. I'm really glad that we got to talk, before the break."

"Yeah, well, I didn't want you moping around over me the whole time," Piz replied.

"That's very considerate of you." Veronica smiled, but her thoughts traveled to Logan again. She'd stopped over at the Grand before heading to the dorms, but he still wasn't answering the door._ If he and I don't talk soon, my winter break will be spent moping anyway._ Veronica forced her thoughts back to the conversation and looked up at Piz. "Well, have a great holiday."

"You too." Piz walked over to the door, but when he reached it, he turned back around. "Let's make plans to have lunch or something, when I get back."

"I'd like that," Veronica replied. "I'd like that a lot."

**xxXxx **

Mac

_Five days. Just five days at home with my family, and I already feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. My freedom is gone, my privacy is gone, and peace and quiet are a thing of the past._ Every time Mac went to leave the house, her mom would ask where she was going and when she'd be back. If she stayed in her room for more than an hour, her dad would pop his head in and tease her that she was being anti-social. She'd tried to take a bath, but three minutes in, Ryan had starting pounding on the door and asking her how long she'd be.

Mac missed her independence. She missed her late night talks with Veronica. She missed her carefree afternoons with Dick and Logan. And, most of all, she missed Casey. He'd been in New York for work for the past week; between the three hour time difference, and all of the meetings he was stuck in, they'd barely talked. Mac knew she wouldn't get to see him as often as usual, even if he were home. _And I certainly won't be able to stay over at his place. That won't fly with Mom and Dad. But I can definitely sneak over there for a couple of hours, here and there…_

She sighed, trying to push away thoughts of just what she and Casey could be doing, and reached for her cell phone. Mac scrolled through her contacts, trying to figure out who to call. She'd tried Logan a couple of times, but he'd been MIA all weekend and he hadn't gotten back to her yet. She knew Dick was already out in Aspen with his mother and step-father. Wallace was visiting his father in Chicago. And Veronica had been away in San Francisco all weekend, on some case for her dad. _But it's Tuesday. She's probably back by now. _Mac dialed her number.

Veronica answered after just a couple of seconds. "Are you psychic?" she demanded.

"Why?" Mac laughed.

"I had the phone in my hand to call you."

"Oh, creepy. So you're back home, then?" Mac asked.

"Yeah. Do you feel like doing something? Darrell has some friends over, and it's a freaking madhouse in here. I feel like I need some quiet," Veronica said.

"Okay, now this is just getting weird. That's exactly why I was calling you."

Veronica whistled the theme from _The Twilight Zone_, and they both laughed. "Do you want to meet me at Crescent?" she asked. "Maybe go for a walk, then grab a bite to eat?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll meet you in the parking lot in fifteen."

They both hung up, and Mac headed out of her room and down the stairs. She grabbed her keys out of the bowl in the kitchen and headed out the door quietly, trying to avoid getting the third degree from her mom. Mac was putting her keys into her car lock when something across the street caught her eye. She paused and looked more closely. After a moment, she walked slowly towards the dark blue BMW.

"Madison? What are you doing out here?"

Madison shrugged and looked away, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel for a moment. Mac realized with surprise that the girl was nervous. _Madison Sinclair, self-appointed Queen of Neptune High. Too afraid to get out of her car._ Something about that made her seem so much more human. Between seeing her break down at the _Roadhog_, and this new revelation, Mac was finally starting to realize that Madison's perfect composure was all an act. _She's just as screwed up as the rest of us._

Mac hadn't spoken with any of the Sinclair's since the night she'd dropped a wasted Madison off at their door. While they'd seemed embarrassed, they had thanked her profusely for bringing their daughter home safe. Mac had avoided stopping over there since, figuring that Madison would be pretty pissed at her for getting her in trouble. She'd been hoping to hear from Margaret, but she'd never called.

"Why don't you come inside?" Mac offered tentatively. "My dad and brother are out, but my mom is home."

Madison glanced from Mac to the house behind her, and then back to Mac. "No, that's okay. I'm not going to force myself on them." She pulled her hair back and twisted it to the side. "I, um, just wanted to thank you. You know, for helping me when I was sick. I know I haven't exactly been nice to you, so… That was pretty decent of you."

Mac nodded. It wasn't exactly an apology, but it was the first time Madison had ever admitted that she wasn't perfect. _So it's a start._ "You're welcome."

Madison offered her a little smile. Mac was pleased to note that it was an _actual_ smile for once, instead of her usual smirk. "So, um, my mom wanted me to ask you…" Madison began, twisting her hair to the other side. "She wants to know if you can stop over on Christmas Eve for dessert and coffee." She waved a hand towards the house. "You know, like, _all _of you."

Mac was surprised, but she tried not to show it. She knew this could be a huge step for both of their families. And she knew that this would probably be her last chance to convince her parents that they should have a relationship with the daughter who shared their blood. _Because if they reject Madison this time… I don't think she'll ever ask again. And I'm not sure what that'll do to her._ She nodded again. "I will definitely let them know."

Madison exhaled. "Okay. Thanks. So maybe I'll see you then."

"Yeah," Mac said, smiling. "I'll see you."

Madison pulled away, and Mac watched her car until it turned out of sight. For reasons beyond her control, she and Madison were connected, now. And as unlikely as it seemed, Mac thought that maybe, one day, they could actually be friends. _I just hope Mom and Dad agree to go to the Sinclair's. If they don't, I'm afraid she'll close herself off forever._

**xxXxx**

Veronica was standing next to her car, waiting for her, when Mac arrived at the beach. Mac quickly parked her car and got out. "I'm sorry. I had an unexpected visitor."

"That's okay. Was it Casey, back early from his trip because he couldn't _stand_ to be away from you anymore?" Veronica teased.

"Ha! I wish. No, it was actually, um, Madison."

Mac expected a quip, but it didn't come. Instead, Veronica leaned against her car and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh yeah? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. She was coming over to invite us all to their house for Christmas Eve," Mac explained.

"Really? Wow." Veronica shook her head and smiled. "I can't quite picture that. You know, all of you guys, together."

"I know, right?" Mac laughed. "I should borrow your video camera to record the moment for posterity. And then, maybe, shop it around as a possible reality show."

"Now _that_ I would watch."

"Right? I mean, I don't even know if my parents will agree to it or not. But it should be nice and awkward for everyone, if they do," Mac said. She glanced up at the sky, which had turned cloudy and looked rather threatening. "So, should we risk it? Or do you want to just go right to lunch?"

"Ah, what's a little rain?" Veronica replied gamely. "We've dealt with worse."

"Ain't that the truth," Mac agreed.

"Do you have a hoody I can borrow though? It got kind of chilly."

"Sure." Mac grabbed a spare jacket off of the back seat, handed it to Veronica and locked her car. They headed over to the beach, walking slowly north. Crescent proved to be even more desolate than normal, what with the darkening clouds above and the cool air sweeping across the sand. The two girls didn't talk for several minutes, enjoying the welcome silence of the grey afternoon.

"So," Veronica finally began, "when does Casey get back?"

"Late tonight. We're supposed to meet for lunch tomorrow. I really miss him," she admitted. She glanced over at her friend, expecting another joke. But, once again, it didn't come.

Veronica just nodded, as she looked out towards the ocean. "Yeah," she said quietly.

"He wants me to move in with him," Mac confided.

"_Really? _What did you say?"

"That I think it's too soon. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd _love_ to be able to spend more time with him. And the situation at my parent's house is just- well I'm sure you can relate. But… we've been together for less than three months. And as much as I care about him, and as close as we are, I guess I just feel like… I don't know, how well can you_ really_ know someone after three months?" Mac looked down at the sand below her feet. "I thought I knew Cassidy."

Veronica stopped walking and put her hand on Mac's arm. "Mac, he had _all_ of us fooled. Even me and my dad, and we have better bullshit detectors than most people. You can't use him as a comparison."

"I know," Mac sighed. "I try not to. But I guess I'm still a little gun-shy. And then, too, look what happened with me and Max? We got so, like, settled, so quickly. I don't want things to be like that with me and Casey. With him, it's just so different, and exciting. I get this feeling when I see him… I can't describe it, but it's like I'm weightless. I don't want that to go away."

Veronica smiled, although her eyes were wistful. "It doesn't go away. Trust me." She glanced over at Mac. "Sounds like you went from falling in love with him to _being_ in love with him."

Mac took a deep breath, nodding slightly at her friend as she exhaled. "Yeah," she confirmed. "And it still terrifies me."

Veronica laughed shortly. "I can relate."

"I just feel like this whole thing came out of nowhere, you know? I wasn't looking for a relationship at _all_. And I _definitely_ wasn't looking for something serious. That was basically why I broke it off with Max." She shrugged. "I mean I'm too _young_ for this. I always figured I'd just date around in college, enjoy myself. Serious commitment is something far, far in the future."

"After you've made your first million?" Veronica joked.

"Exactly. All of the women in my family got married really young. And I never wanted that."

"Who said anything about marriage?" Veronica asked. "I thought Casey just wanted you to move in together."

"Don't play coy with me. We all know you took home the grand prize in the Miss Commitment-Phobe Pageant."

"Yes, but only because I'm competitive. I like to win, no matter _what_ the contest. The tiara and the title were just an added bonus."

"Right," Mac laughed. "So, what, you're saying that you think I should move in with him?"

"And stick me with a scary new roommate? Hell no," Veronica replied. "But in all seriousness, I don't think you should give up a great relationship because you're worried about what may or may not happen in the future. You and Casey are amazing together. Just try and enjoy that. If you start over-thinking things…" She trailed off, looking at the ocean again.

They continued walking in silence. Veronica had given Mac a lot to think about. She knew that her friend was speaking from experience, so she didn't take her words lightly. And she certainly didn't want her and Casey to end up the way Logan and Veronica had- so in love with each other that it was painful to see them apart.

"It's not even an option," Mac finally spoke up. "My parents aren't liberal enough to be okay with me moving in with someone before we're married. Or at least until I'm 21."

"Even a millionaire?" Veronica teased.

"Well…" Mac considered, smiling. "Do you really think dating rich guys made _your _dad any less concerned about you?"

"Hardly," Veronica conceded. She laughed. "Actually, my dad once told me he was glad he didn't have to worry about Piz whisking me away on a private jet. He said it was a nice change of pace." Her smile faded, then and she glanced over at Mac. "But, um, speaking of ludicrously wealthy guys… have you talked to Logan?"

"No," Mac replied. "I've tried him a couple of times, but he hasn't called me back yet. Which is kind of weird, actually. We were supposed to meet up later this week."

Veronica nodded, but didn't say anything for a moment. She seemed to be considering something. She took a deep breath and looked at Mac. "I wasn't really in San Francisco last weekend," she finally blurted out.

"Okay…" Mac said slowly. "Where were you?"

"Mexico. At Duncan's wedding."

"Duncan got _married_?" Mac asked incredulously.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I lied about where I was. It was stupid; I know I can trust you. It's just force of habit, I guess," Veronica said apologetically.

"That's okay," Mac replied. "I mean I won't tell anyone, obviously, but I'm not offended. So how is he doing?"

"Good. He's really good," she answered vaguely. Veronica stopped walking abruptly and turned to face Mac. "Logan was there too. And we kissed."

"You _did_?" Mac asked, grinning.

"Don't get too excited," Veronica said. "It didn't end well." She sat down on the sand, and Mac took a seat beside her. "We got into an argument, and Logan left. I didn't realize until I woke up the next day that he'd _left_ left. Like, left Mexico. So I came back here to talk to him. But I've been trying to reach him for two days, and he's still avoiding me. And now his voice mail is full, so I can't even leave any more messages… I just don't know what to do."

"Wow. That must have been some argument."

Veronica sighed. "That's the crazy part. It was just a misunderstanding. I was trying to tell him that I don't care anymore, about the fact that Piz and I just broke up. That it's probably insane to jump right in again, but I don't _care_. But as soon as I said Piz's name…"

"Logan freaked?" Mac guessed.

"Yeah. Like, wouldn't listen to a word I said after that." Veronica shook her head, looking confused. "And then he was talking about being the rebound guy, which… I mean, I hate to admit it, but if _anyone's_ the rebound guy, it's Piz. And then he said something about being a fool, and waiting for months… I mean, what the hell is he talking about? _He's_ the one who moved on first, not me."

Mac bit her lip, not sure what she could possibly say that wouldn't betray her promise to Logan. But Veronica was continuing on without waiting for a response.

"Besides, if he really _was_ waiting for me, then why didn't he ever say anything to me?" she asked.

"Well…why didn't you ever tell Logan how _you_ felt?" Mac countered.

Veronica stared out at the ocean, her voice far away. "You know, Logan told me the other day that I don't care about who I hurt. But that's not true." She glanced over at Mac. "I think part of the reason why I didn't say anything to him was _for_ him. I thought he deserved a chance with a normal girl, you know? That he deserved a girlfriend who wasn't so… irrevocably screwed up."

"You're not irrevocably screwed up," Mac said, squeezing her arm. "You're too hard on yourself."

Veronica shrugged. "Maybe. But I really did want him to be happy… Even if it meant seeing him happy with someone else. I mean, you saw him when he was with Parker. He was like a different person."

"Yeah," Mac agreed. "He was. But I don't think that's a good thing. Veronica, he wasn't being himself when he was with her. He was playing a part. I can totally see that, now that I know who he really is. Despite all the smiles, he wasn't happy. _You _make him happy."

She shook her head. "I don't know why."

"Who cares why?" Mac asked. "You know, I have all of these good memories of Cassidy, but I didn't let myself think about them for a long time. Because I didn't know if it was all an act, on his side. But you know what? He did make me happy. And I made him happy. That really happened. I can't question _why_ anymore. And I don't think you should either. It just _is_."

Veronica nodded. "You're right."

"So how was the infamous kiss, then?" Mac asked with a sly smile.

Veronica glanced at her, a smile forming on her lips as well. "God, it was so good," she admitted. She lay back onto the sand and groaned. "Ugh, why the hell did I say Piz's name? I know how Logan feels about him. I can't remember the last time I've seen him that mad."

"Logan does seem to be mellowing with age. He definitely doesn't get into as many fights as he used to," Mac pointed out.

"No. He doesn't." Veronica sat back up. "You know, what you were saying before about you and Casey…how you weren't looking for it, and it happened so fast… It was the same way I felt about Logan, in the beginning. But I fought how I felt about him, because he wasn't the type of person who I saw myself being with, long term. He was always getting into trouble, getting into fights… he didn't take school seriously, he had no ambition. I always saw myself with someone more, I don't know, more solid." She glanced at Mac. "Someone like Duncan."

"Or Piz?" Mac asked.

"Yeah," Veronica admitted. "But it was Logan who had my heart, no matter what my brain said it wanted."

She was silent for several moments. Mac looked out at the ocean, wondering where Logan was and wishing he could hear all of the things Veronica was saying right now. She still had faith that everything would work out between them, but she was worried about both of her friends.

Mac's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of sniffling. She looked over at Veronica, surprised to see that she was crying. "Aw, hey," she said, reaching over to give her friend a hug. "Don't cry."

Veronica hugged her back, then pulled away and wiped her eyes. "I'm just worried that I screwed up, waiting too long to talk to Logan. I'm not even sure what he really wants, but I hoped…" She shook her head. "Maybe I took it for granted, that he'd even be willing to talk to me. But I should have tried. And I'm worried about him, Mac. I don't know where he is, and… I just want to know that he's okay." Veronica wiped fresh tears from her other eye. She stuffed her hand in her jacket pocket and pulled out a napkin. "Can I use this?"

"Of course," Mac replied distractedly. "Veronica, I'm sure he's fine. I'll call Dick and see if he's heard from him. And if not, I'll see if Dick has Heather's…" she trailed off.

Veronica was staring down at the napkin in her hand. Mac looked down to see what was so interesting about it, and inhaled quickly. Written on the napkin were the words, "Sway, The Perishers". Within seconds, Mac realized that she'd loaned Veronica the same hoody that she'd worn to Logan's birthday party. She remembered, now, shoving the napkin Logan had given her into the pocket of that jacket…and not giving it another thought since then.

"What is this?" Veronica asked, confused.

"That? That's, um…" Mac tried to think of an explanation, but her brain wasn't working. And then she realized that she didn't _want_ to think of an explanation. _I can't stand being in this position anymore. I can't stand seeing my best friend cry, and knowing that there's no need for it._ She took a deep breath, hoping that Logan would forgive her. "That's the song Logan asked me to play at his birthday party."

"That _Logan_ asked you to play?" Veronica repeated, her eyes wide.

"Yeah.

"But…why?"

Mac smiled. "He said that it was something you might like."

Veronica continued to stare at her, chewing on her lower lip. She glanced down at the napkin, and then back up at Mac. "His birthday party was almost two months ago."

"Yeah."

"This song is… we danced to it, once." Veronica didn't elaborate, but Mac knew by her dreamy expression that the song held special meaning for her and Logan. "He asked me for a kiss that night, you know. The night of his party. I thought he was just being…Logan."

"He was," Mac replied.

Veronica glanced at her. "Meaning?"

"Meaning that there's nothing the Logan _I _know wants more than a kiss from you," Mac explained.

Veronica shook her head, still looking very confused and a bit skeptical. "But…if that's true, then why did he go home with another girl that night?"

"You mean Debi?" Mac asked. "They didn't hook up."

"What are you talking about? Wallace said he left the bar with her."

"He did. But they didn't hook up. She just gave him a ride home."

Veronica continued to look doubtful. "And how do you know that?"

"Because he told me," Mac admitted.

"Okay," Veronica said slowly, appearing to believe her. "But then what about all of the other girls he's been hooking up with?"

"What girls?" Mac asked.

"What do you mean 'what girls'? Every other rumor I hear on campus is about Logan Echolls and his many conquests." Veronica bit her lip. "And what about the tabloids, over the summer?"

"Since when do you listen to rumors_ or_ tabloids?" Mac joked. When she saw how serious Veronica was, she continued, choosing her words carefully. "Look, I can't speak to what he did over the summer. And I do want to point out that he _is_ a single guy… But since the semester started, have you ever actually _seen_ him with another girl?"

Veronica's expression darkened. "What about that blonde girl at your birthday party?"

"Ashlee?" Mac asked, suppressing a smile. "Veronica, that was, like, four months ago. And Logan can't stand her. She threw him out of her place that night."

Her friend stared at her, looking astonished that Mac was privy to so much information about Logan's sex life. "Why?" she finally asked.

Mac hesitated. She'd already betrayed one of Logan's confidences; she wasn't sure that she should say anything else. But the expression on Veronica's face changed her mind. _She looks… hopeful. _"He, um, said your name. While they were… you know."

Veronica's mouth dropped open. "He _what_?"

"Do I have to repeat that?" Mac asked, wrinkling her nose.

"No," Veronica said vaguely. "But I know there were other girls…"

"Like who? Heather?" Mac teased.

Veronica made a face. "There was this girl, Vikki, at the Registrar's office. I mean I guess it's possible nothing happened with them, but…"

Mac started to laugh. She couldn't help herself. Veronica looked at her like she had two heads. "I'm sorry," Mac said, still laughing. "I just… I think I might know what that was about." She turned so that she was facing Veronica. "Do you remember when you asked me if I could hack into the school records, and I told you that I couldn't?"

"Yeah…"

"Well I did it, finally. And while I was poking around in there, I decided to see if Logan really _had_ gotten 100% on his World History midterm, like he'd bragged to me. Anyway, I saw that he was originally signed up for Journalism this semester. But about a week before classes started, he switched to-"

"19th Century World Literature…" Veronica whispered, finally understanding.

"Exactly." Mac smiled again. "I suspect that might be where Vikki comes in."

Veronica ran her hand absently through the sand and shook her head slightly. "He told me, that first day of class, that he'd flirted with an admin to get into the class. So that he could talk to me… I never thought in a million years that he was being serious." She looked up at Mac, her eyes still full of wonder. "That was four months ago. This whole time, he's been...?"

"Yeah," Mac confirmed. Veronica continued to stare at her, but Mac knew that her thoughts were far away. She watched as various emotions flickered across her friend's face- uncertainty, joy, hope, and then something like fear.

"I just can't believe that he's still… That he really _has_ been waiting for me this whole time." Veronica turned away, looking out at the ocean for a few moments. Mac felt several raindrops fall on her arms and the top of her head, but she didn't want to stir Veronica from her thoughts; she hadn't even seemed to notice that it was raining.

When she finally turned back to Mac, her brow was furrowed. "I feel like such an idiot. No wonder he took off like that. No wonder he isn't returning my calls." She sighed heavily. "What if he's really done with me this time? For good?"

"Like I said, I haven't spoken to him," Mac began, "but Veronica… Logan will never be done with you."

"I'm not so sure about that," Veronica replied quietly. "You didn't see how mad he was."

The rain started to fall faster, then, and Mac pulled her hood up over her head. Veronica squinted up at the clouds. "It's raining," she announced flatly.

"I know. But what's a little rain, to girls like us?" Mac reminded her.

Veronica managed a smile and stood up, holding her hand out for Mac. After she'd pulled her up, they started walking back to the parking lot at a leisurely pace. When they'd almost reached their cars, Veronica looked over at Mac. "I can't believe you were keeping all of that from me this whole time." She raised an eyebrow at Mac. "Do you know how to play poker?"

"Nope."

"Well I'm going to teach you," Veronica informed her. "And then we're going to Vegas, and we're gonna make you that first million. We don't want to keep Casey waiting."

Mac grinned at her. "Sounds like a plan. But do we have to actually get married _in _Vegas?"

"Naturally. By an Elvis impersonator, of course. If you're gonna do it, do it right."

"Can we have a double ceremony? I'd love to see Logan rockin' a frilly pink tux."

Veronica smiled, but her eyes were far away. "We'll see," she said quietly. "We'll see."

**xxXxx**

Veronica

It was nearly midnight, but Veronica was wide awake. She'd gone from trying to read a book, to trying to watch TV, to pacing around the back yard… But nothing had relieved the restlessness she was feeling. Yet she'd kept walking back and forth, hoping it would at least tire her out enough that she'd be able to sleep. _62 paces to the fence, 39 paces to the tree, 28 paces to the pool… _

She was reminded of watching the panther at the San Diego zoo, walking back and forth, back and forth, its eyes locked with hers the whole time. She remembered thinking that the animal reminded her of Logan, when he was in a particularly dangerous mood. Graceful and lazy at first glance, but ready to spring into action at any moment…

_And there it is. _She looked down at her watch._ I made it an entire minute and thirteen seconds without thinking about him. _Veronica sighed and sunk down into a deck chair. _I give up. This is clearly my punishment for trying to push thoughts of Logan away for the whole year. The floodgates are open now, and I'm forced to think of him almost every waking moment… and in my sleeping moments, too, come to think of it. How very Greek mythology of my subconscious._

Logan was constantly on her mind. Memories of the way he looked at her, the way it felt when he touched her, things they had done together. Thoughts of where he was now, what he was doing, who he was with. And above all, thoughts of how much she missed him, and how much she wanted to talk to him. For days, now, this had consumed her.

Veronica closed her eyes, allowing the images and memories to assault her once again.

The most mundane of tasks in her day reminded her of him. Brushing her teeth that very morning, she'd recalled the time he'd come up behind her in his bathroom…kissing the back of her neck and her shoulder softly, but insistently, until she'd agreed to come back to bed. Going to the gas station to grab milk for Alicia a few days earlier, the smell of microwave popcorn had brought her back to a particularly pleasurable day they'd spent together at the movies…

She opened her eyes and stared unseeingly at the pool in front of her, a smile playing on her lips. For the first time in a very long time, she was only thinking about the good memories, instead of dwelling on the bad ones. And she'd realized that the good ones had far, far outweighed the bad. Veronica closed her eyes again and inhaled the night air; a light breeze played across her bare shoulder and she shivered. It wasn't an unpleasant sensation. _In fact, it feels a little like someone running the tips of their fingers very, very lightly across my skin…_

Veronica groaned and put her head in her hands. _This is agony. Pure, unadulterated torture. From what Mac told me, Logan really _has_ been waiting for me this whole time… so how the hell was he able to control himself? Logan's not exactly a patient person. At least, I've never thought of him as being patient. Then again… I'm starting to suspect that I've had a lot of things wrong, when it comes to Logan._

She thought back to all of the times they'd spent together over the last few months, searching her memories for some proof that would confirm his feelings. She knew Mac wasn't lying about Logan having changed his class schedule, and she'd seen the bar napkin herself…but she was still having trouble _really _believing that Logan had loved her this whole time. _Through my relationship with someone else, through all of those hours we spent together in class, outside of class… He never said a word to me. How? Why?_

_But the evidence was there, maybe, if I'd let myself see it…_ Veronica recalled the way he'd looked at her while Professor Jayne had read "Silent Noon" to them, that second day of class...his eyes locked intently with hers, a slight smile on his lips… And his words the night she'd met him in the bar at the Grand… "Do you know how worried I was, that one day your nine lives would run out?"… She remembered the way he'd looked at her that night, staring deeply into her eyes as though he were about to tell her something, but then leaving abruptly…

How he'd held her in his arms on the anniversary of Lilly's death, kissing her forehead gently… The way he'd touched the side of her face on the night of his birthday, and his words a moment later… "Oh, but I want a kiss from _you_…" The fact that he'd always come to class early… The way he'd taken one look at her during the lecture on _The Scarlet Letter_, and he'd known just what she'd been thinking… "You looked the same way you did that night we went to _La Belle Fleur_…"

Veronica's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the sliding glass door opening and closing. She looked up in surprise to see her father walking towards her. He sat down in the deck chair opposite her, and she could see his tired smile in the moonlight.

"Hey, honey. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just having a little trouble sleeping is all," she replied.

"Is it the prospect of getting to open that one special Christmas Eve present tomorrow?" he joked. "Because if so, I should tell you right now- it's not a pony."

Veronica smiled and affected a southern accent. "One day, Pappy, I just know your gold claim will pan out. And then I reckon you'll buy me _two_ ponies."

"If my gold claim pans out, I may even be able to get you a full-sized horse," Keith laughed. "As long as you promise to never call me 'Pappy' again."

"You got it, Pa," Veronica grinned. "So, why are you up? Too nervous to sleep?"

"Nervous? No. Excited," he admitted. "Kid in a candy shop excited." He leaned forward slightly, and Veronica could see his expression grow serious. "You, however, seem to be suffering from what they referred to in the olden days as 'melancholia'."

"Uh-oh. Does that mean I have to get my frontal lobe removed? Or was the cure back then blood letting? I can never keep that straight."

"Leeches," he confirmed. "Does that cheer you up? At least you'll get to keep your brain intact."

"Well, the lack of pony-shaped presents _is_ pretty disheartening. Maybe you should just take my brain after all," Veronica sighed dramatically.

"Veronica," Keith said warningly, letting her know he was done joking around. "Seriously, now. What's up honey? You've been looking pretty glum since you got back from Mexico." He cleared his throat. "Did you and Logan get into a fight?"

"That's some pretty keen detective work, Dad," she responded dryly.

"I've come to recognize this particular brand of gloominess, over the years," he replied just as dryly.

Veronica glanced up at him sharply, feeling inordinately defensive on Logan's behalf. She knew that she should have been more vocal about her real feelings for Logan in the past, instead of always trying to downplay their relationship to her father. _I should have spent more time campaigning for him, instead of trying to keep the two most important men in my life separate. I knew how Dad felt about Logan; it was obvious that he disapproved… And I knew Logan knew it too. It was easier for everyone if I kept them apart. _

_But I should have told Dad how important he was to me. How important he_ is _to me. I guess I never did because… maybe, deep down, I thought Dad was right about him... That he _couldn't_ be trusted, that he_ was_ reckless. I didn't have faith in him myself. I felt like I never knew when he'd screw up next. And I worried that every time he _did_ do something wrong, he was just proving Dad right- that he wasn't good enough for me after all. Ultimately, I guess I thought he was never really going to be the guy I was so hoping he'd be…someone I'd be proud to bring home to my dad. But I was wrong. _

"Dad, I think you have the wrong impression about Logan. And I know that's probably my fault."

Keith frowned. "Veronica-" he began.

"No, wait. I just want to tell you something. Do you remember last year, right before I went to that Board of Trustees reception? He came to the apartment, and we were fighting… And you told him to stop yelling at me?"

Her father nodded.

"He was mad at me because… Aside from dosing me, Mel also shaved part of my head." Veronica spoke quickly, seeing that her father was about to speak up again. "And Logan thought you should know about it, because he was worried about me… since I was still investigating the rapes on campus. But I kept that from you. I'm sorry."

Keith didn't say anything right away. "Veronica, I don't expect you to tell me everything. And I know how competent you are. But you're still my little girl. I don't like seeing you put yourself in danger. Logan was right. You should have told me."

"I know. And this weekend… he didn't do anything wrong, Dad. Not at all. _I'm_ the one who blew it," she admitted in a whisper. She looked up at her father. "We argued, and he left, and now I don't know where he is. I'm really worried about him."

"Logan can take care of himself," her dad reminded her gently. "In fact, I'm pretty sure he's one of the most capable young men I've ever seen. But if you want me to, I can ask around. See where he may have gone."

Veronica considered that for a moment, then shook her head. "No. I think it would just upset him more, if he knew I was… keeping tabs on him."

Keith nodded. "Well let me know if you change your mind. But in my opinion, if he does love you- and I think he does- he'll forgive you."

She looked at her father incredulously. "You think he loves me?"

He smiled and patted her leg. "I'm certain of it, actually." Keith stood up and looked down at her. "And for the record, my feelings on Logan have changed quite a bit, since the last time you dated. I like to think that I'm a big enough man to admit when I've been wrong."

Veronica didn't say anything, still staring at him in surprise.

"The Mars family may be stubborn… but once we finally see the light, we're never in the dark again," he said cryptically. "Remember that, honey." Keith gave her a pointed look, then bent down and kissed her on the top of her head. "Good night, sweetheart. Try and get some sleep."

"Yeah, okay Dad," she returned absently. He walked back inside, and she stood up and started pacing once again. After a half dozen trips back and forth, she stopped abruptly and headed towards the house.

**xxXxx**

It took Veronica thirty-three minutes to decide to use the hotel key card. It hadn't been an easy decision. She'd knocked first, paced second, and deliberated third. She truly didn't want to invade his privacy; she just needed to know if he was okay. A hundred scenarios of what she'd find inside the hotel suite had played through her mind, and some of them were pretty horrifying. In the best case scenario, she'd enter to find him sleeping (alone) on the couch. He'd wake up and see her, and smile… _and then we'd continue where we left off in Mexico._

With that thought encouraging her, Veronica slipped the white plastic card into the lock and pushed the door open quietly. The suite was dark, so she took a moment to let her eyes adjust. She moved slowly into the living room, which was impeccably neat. _Okay, so no raging rock band-style parties, at least._ Dick's bedroom door was open, but Veronica knew he was still out of town. Logan's doors were closed. She took a deep breath and pushed them open.

His room was empty, and there was no sign of life anywhere. The bed was made, the floor was bare of clothing. Even the nightstand was free of Logan's trademark empty coffee cups and beer bottles. Veronica stared at the closet door, but she made no move to open it. She'd already made a pact with herself that she wouldn't snoop. This visit was to confirm what she'd already suspected- he'd left town.

Veronica sat down on his bed, trying to think. But as she felt the familiar fabric of the comforter beneath her palm, she was overwhelmed with memories. Impulsively, she lay down on Logan's side of the bed. She folded down a corner of the blanket and rested her head on his pillow, and then she breathed in his scent. Her chest tightened painfully as she conjured up an image of Logan, kissing her awake in the early morning…and whispering vows of love in her ear before they fell asleep at night…

She opened her eyes and turned on her side, focusing her eyes on the lamp on his nightstand. She sat up suddenly, realizing that the photo that used to be there, the one of them on the pier, was gone. _Well of course it's gone. We've been broken up almost a year now. But what did he do with it? Did he throw it out?_ The thought made her chest tighten painfully again, and she sat up straight.

Without giving herself time to reconsider, she pulled open the drawer of the nightstand and looked inside. The photo was in there. Veronica sighed in relief. She wasn't sure what it meant that Logan kept it in the drawer, but she was pleased that he hadn't gotten rid of it. _And that he still keeps it in the bedroom… _

She was about to close the drawer when something metallic caught her eye. She reached her hand inside and pulled out Logan's cell phone. _He never puts his phone in here. Logan didn't just forget to take it with him. He left it here, deliberately. That means he doesn't want to talk to anyone… No. He doesn't want to talk to _me_. _

Veronica set the phone back in the drawer and closed it, feeling dejected. She stood up and made her way back to the front door of the suite. Just as she'd gone through the door, another thought occurred to her. _That also means he hasn't been getting any of my messages. Maybe, when he gets home and listens to them, he'll understand how much I want to work everything out with him. And how sorry I am. _She closed the door behind her quietly, and headed down the hall.

**xxXxx**

Mac

It was Christmas Eve, and Mac's palms were sweaty as she knocked on the large grey door in front of her. To her left, her father cleared his throat nervously; to her right, her mother fidgeted with the long beaded necklace she wore. Ryan stood looking up at the enormous house in awe.

The door opened, and Margaret Sinclair greeted them with a wide smile. "Mac, it's so good to see you. Sam, Natalie, it's been such a long time. How have you been?" She bent her head down. "And this handsome young man must be Ryan. Please, come inside."

The four of them followed her into the foyer, and Mac's mother handed Margaret a bouquet of flowers rather shyly. Margaret accepted them, thanking her profusely, and Natalie finally found her voice. "I'm sorry, I know we're a bit early."

"No, not at all. Why don't you all make yourselves comfortable in the living room, and I'll go find John and the girls. They all like to take their sweet time."

Mac glanced at her parents, and she was pleased to see that Margaret's graciousness was doing the trick- they both seemed to be relaxing a bit. They followed her into the living room; Mac and her mother settled themselves on a love seat, while her dad and Ryan walked over to inspect the enormous Christmas tree glistening by the window.

"She calls you Mac?" Natalie whispered to her daughter. "Do you want _me_ to call you Mac?"

"No, Mom," Mac laughed, putting an affectionate arm around her. "I don't."

"They have white lights on their tree," her mom said quietly. "Do you think the white lights look nicer than the colored lights?"

"I prefer the colored lights, actually," Mac answered honestly. "They're more festive."

Her mother looked at her and smiled. "I like them better too."

Sam and Ryan walked back over, and Sam nudged Mac in the side with his elbow. "How much you think that tree set them back, Cin?" he asked, not bothering to keep his voice down. "Couple grand? Think I should ask them?" He winked at her, and she smiled and rolled her eyes. Her dad lived to embarrass her.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs made all four of them fall silent and look up expectantly. Margaret, John and Lauren entered the living room, but there was still no sign of Madison. John and Sam shook hands and fell into easy conversation, while Margaret and Natalie started talking about collecting Christmas ornaments. Lauren gave Mac a quick hug, and then announced that she had to check on her cookies and she'd be right back. As soon as Ryan noticed that the adults were distracted, he pulled his Nintendo DS out of his pocket and quickly became absorbed in his game.

Mac was also pleased to see that everyone was distracted; she had a covert mission of her own. She mumbled something about having to use the bathroom, and slipped quietly up the stairs. She'd already managed to remove the tracker from Madison's car, as they'd been walking up the driveway to the house earlier. _Maybe I can get that bug back for Veronica tonight, too._

She headed down the hallway, noting that Madison's bedroom light was on, and that her door was opened a crack. She pushed on the door tentatively, but the room was empty. Mac walked over to the dresser, smiling when she saw the locket sitting in plain sight. She quickly removed the bug and stuffed it into the pocket of her pants.

"What are you doing in my room?"

Mac looked up to see Madison standing in her doorway, looking at her with her eyes narrowed. She thought quickly, deciding to take a chance that Madison had just gotten there. "Oh hey, Madison. Your mom asked me to come get you, and I saw this sitting here. I was just admiring it; it's really pretty."

"It's Tiffany," Madison returned snootily. She walked forward and took it out of Mac's hand. But instead of setting it back down, she stood looking at it for a bit; Mac saw her face soften. "It was a present from Don," she said quietly. "He was always spoiling me."

"Is that your boyfriend from college or something?" Mac asked.

Madison shot her a disbelieving look. "No," she replied, her voice tinged with anger.

Mac frowned, not understanding why Madison was getting upset. "Look, I'm not trying to be clever. I really don't know who you're talking about."

She rolled her eyes, still looking skeptical. "You probably know him better as Sheriff Lamb."

Mac's eyebrows shot up. "You had a relationship with _Lamb_?"

"Oh, please," Madison scoffed. "As if Veronica never told you."

"She didn't," Mac assured her. "Honestly."

Madison studied her for a moment, and then looked back down at the locket. She was silent for a long time. Mac shifted uncomfortably, unsure what to say. She was about to suggest going back downstairs when Madison finally spoke up. "I do miss him sometimes, you know."

Mac glanced up, surprised to see that Madison's eyes were glassy with unshed tears. "Do you want to-"

"I don't really want to talk about it," Madison interrupted her.

"Okay." Impulsively, Mac reached out and put her hand on her shoulder. Madison looked up in surprise, but didn't pull away. "You know, you don't need to be so defensive all of the time," Mac told her. "People don't necessarily _always_ disappoint you."

Madison nodded, looking thoughtful. "Yeah. Maybe."

"And for the record, Veronica isn't the villain you think she is."

She shrugged off Mac's hand and shot her a look of disgust. "Yeah, well, neither am I."

"She told me you once put all of her clothes in the toilet after gym class," Mac pointed out.

Madison opened her mouth to protest, and then closed it. "Yeah," she confirmed. "I did do that. But I had my reasons."

Mac nodded, deciding to drop the subject. She was pretty sure that no matter what she said to either of them, Veronica and Madison would never be friends. _And that's okay. Not everyone is meant to get along. But that doesn't mean that _I_ can't be Madison's friend. _"So…do you want to come downstairs with me?"

Madison glanced at the open door. She took a deep breath and exhaled, setting the locket back down on the dresser. "Okay," she agreed. She walked forward with her spine straight and her head held high. Mac followed her down the hall, understanding for the first time that what she'd always taken as a haughty posture was Madison's way of steeling herself to face the world.

When the two girls entered the living room, the conversation stalled. Mac watched as the uncertain expression on her mother's face turned into a shaky smile. She took a few steps forward, pausing to stand in front of Madison. "Hi," she said gently. "I'm Natalie."

Madison put out her hand. "Madison."

But instead of shaking her hand, Natalie reached forward and took her into a tight hug. Sam stepped forward to join them, with Ryan in tow. Lauren came over to Mac then, holding a tray of cookies, and Mac looked away. She threw an arm around her sister's shoulder, and she and Lauren followed John and Margaret into the kitchen. They all seemed to have come to the silent understanding that the Mackenzie's needed privacy, during their reunion with their biological daughter.

Curiosity caused Mac to glance back, just before she stepped out of the room. Madison was bending down to meet her little brother for the first time. When Mac heard the suspicious sound of sniffling, she turned away, smiling.

**xxXxx **

Veronica

The following day, Veronica sat on the couch next to Wallace. It was Christmas morning. She was trying to pay attention as he told her about his trip to Chicago, but her thoughts were, as always, on Logan. She'd been so hopeful that they'd talk before Christmas, and that they'd be on decent enough terms that she could invite him to spend the day with her family.

She thought back to Thanksgiving, and how nice it had been having him over for dinner. _And how well he fit in with us._ _This is where he belongs… I hate thinking about him spending Christmas alone, or with complete strangers…_ Veronica had always thought of Logan as a sort of lone wolf, rejecting the company of others by choice. _But that's not the case. He's a loner because almost everyone he's ever loved is gone._

_Yet despite that, he seems to be cautiously building new friendships. Mac, Heather, Apollo… And he's holding onto his old friendships, too. Dick is like a brother to him now, he and Duncan are still keeping in touch, and… he's been a really good friend to me all year, too._ Veronica shook that thought away; his absence was becoming more painful by the hour, made exponentially worse by the fact that it was Christmas.

It had struck her, watching him with Lilly and Duncan in Mexico, that Logan was every bit the family man that Duncan was. _Had he been born into a healthy, normal family, he would have been a loyal brother, a devoted son… _

"…and then the monkey told me that I needed to go to one of Jupiter's moons, to look for a rare element called Quasitanium, which is the only thing that will save mankind."

She looked up at Wallace, who was grinning at her. "And does this monkey have a name?" she asked, playing along.

"He does. It's Bob. Which you would have known, had you been paying attention to my story," Wallace teased.

"Well that sounds like it was one eventful trip to Chicago."

"Oh, it was." Wallace took a sip of coffee and leaned against the arm of the couch. "So, still no word from Logan?"

"Not a one," Veronica replied with a sigh. "I've asked around at the Grand, but no one's seen him. I'm pretty sure he's still out of town." She took a sip of her own coffee, which had gone cold, and made a face. "Which makes sense. He hates Christmas."

"Just like the Grinch," Wallace observed. Veronica shot him a look. "Sorry," he said, genuinely apologetic. "I'm sure he has his reasons."

"He definitely does," Veronica confirmed. She thought back to that day at Logan's house, all of those years ago, when she'd watched a redhead in a Santa hat stabbing Aaron through the gut. She remembered how worried Logan had looked for his father, as he'd dialed 911… _Aaron was a cruel, horrible human being… but he was still Logan's father. The only father he had. And, of course, none of us knew back then just how vile Aaron really was. Not even Logan._

She remembered asking Duncan to stay with Logan that night, so he wouldn't be alone. Duncan had looked at her with surprise, but nodded his agreement. _I would have stayed myself, if he'd have let me. Even after everything… I still cared about him, deep down._ The last image she had of Logan, before she'd left his house that night, was of him grabbing a bottle of Jack Daniels off the bar and taking gulp after gulp.

Wallace cleared his throat. "So, um, I know the details of my trip didn't really seem to be holding your interest, but there was one thing that happened that was sort of interesting."

"What?" Veronica asked.

"Do you think you can manage to pay attention while I tell you?" he teased.

"Spill."

"I ran into Jackie at the airport."

"Who? Wait a minute, _Jackie_ Jackie?"

"Yup. She was coming while I was going. Go figure."

The disappointment in Wallace's voice made Veronica look up at him sharply. "So she was coming to Neptune while you were heading to Chicago?" she clarified.

"Yeah. She said she was coming to visit her dad for the holidays," Wallace replied.

"So she's still here, then?"

He shrugged. "I guess. I told her I was coming home on Christmas Eve, and that we could maybe hang out, but… She hasn't called me yet."

Veronica frowned. "I'm sorry, Wallace. Although I'm sort of surprised that you'd still _want_ to hang out with her, after what she did to you."

"Yeah, you and me both." He shook his head. "It's funny though, I saw her and it was like… I don't know. It was like none of that mattered anymore, you know? It was just really good to see her." Wallace looked up at her with a wry smile. "I guess it's true what they say about your first love, huh?"

"Maybe. But Jackie's still…"

"A bitch?" Wallace filled in the blank, grinning at her.

"I was going to say 'not good enough for you'," Veronica said, laughing. "But 'bitch' works too."

"It does," he agreed, but his smile faded. "But you know, I've been thinking since I saw her… I haven't been into someone like that since she left. That kinda thing doesn't come along every day, huh? Guess people should hang onto it, when it does." Wallace gave her a pointed look, then stood up and headed into the kitchen.

Veronica shook her head at him, although she knew he couldn't see her_. Funny how everyone's coming out of the woodwork to tell me I should be with Logan, now that he's not around. Duncan, Mac, Wallace… even Dad._ She glanced over at her dad, who was standing with Alicia next to the tree. He was talking about something, his head bent down to Alicia's stomach. Veronica saw him point to a Padres ornament on the tree, and she smiled to herself. _Dad's trying everything he can to make sure that little girl will come out of the womb loving baseball just as much as he does._

He stood up straight and kissed Alicia lightly on the lips, then bent down and picked up a present wrapped in blue and green paper. Keith glanced up and met Veronica's eye, winking at her. She smiled back at him, nodding her approval. Then he looked at Darrell, who was defending the Christmas tree from Decepticons, and Wallace, who had rejoined Veronica on the couch. Keith handed the present to Alicia; by the time she'd unwrapped it and opened the box, he was already down on one knee.

"Alicia," he began, "quite simply, you are the love of my life. And nothing would make me happier than getting the chance to spend the rest of my days with you, and with our beautiful children. Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Alicia replied, smiling and crying at the same time. Keith slipped the ring on her finger, and then stood up and gave her a kiss and a hug. Veronica saw her dad wipe a hand across his eyes, and she suddenly realized that she was crying, too.

Wallace smacked her lightly on the arm, and she turned towards him. "Did you know about this?" he demanded. Veronica just smiled in return, and he rolled his eyes. "Of course you did. Well, I guess it's official, Sis."

Veronica smiled and wiped her eyes. "You wanna hug it out? Come here." She leaned over and gave him a big hug.

"Why is everyone crying?" Darrell interrupted them. "Mom and Keith are getting married, right? Isn't that a good thing?"

Veronica laughed and pulled him into a hug. "Yeah," she replied, looking at her dad and Alicia over his shoulder. "It's a very good thing."

**xxXxx**

The following Thursday, Veronica lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. It held nothing of particular interest, especially in the failing grey light of dusk. But it didn't really matter what she looked at- all she could see were the images that kept playing and replaying in her mind. Instead of an empty ceiling, she was really watching the projected reflections of her own memories…

She remembered the night she'd gone to Logan's room, nearly a year ago, knocking on his door and waiting…hoping desperately that he was home. She'd wanted to tell him how much she'd missed him, how much she wanted him back. And she was afraid that if he didn't answer, she'd lose her nerve. _But when Logan opened the door, and I looked into his eyes, I forgot every word. And then he took me into his arms, and the rest of the night was a beautiful blur… _

…and then they were in Mexico, collapsing onto the couch together…His familiar weight and scent so comforting. Despite her claustrophobia, she'd always loved it when he covered her like that with his body. _It makes me feel like we're the only two people who exist in the world… Just like that night at Crescent Beach, when he wrapped the blanket around us so we were in our own little cocoon… _

Veronica kicked her blanket off and sat up abruptly, trying to shake her thoughts away. It had been nearly two weeks since her fight with Logan in Mexico, and there was still no word from him. As each day passed, she vowed that she'd be patient, and wait until he was ready to talk to her. But as each night passed, she became more and more desperate to see him, or to hear his voice. _Or at least to find out that he's okay…_

She snapped on the lamp beside her and looked around her room for a distraction. Her eyes fell upon the CD that Piz had made her. She smiled and stood up, walking across the room to take it off her dresser. Veronica opened the case and slipped the CD into the stereo, sitting down in her desk chair. She was curious to hear what Piz had deemed breakup music.

_So you're leaving?_

_I can tell because you're leaving_

She burst out laughing, recognizing the Flight of the Conchords song immediately. She remembered what he'd said about the first track being a tearjerker, and she laughed even harder.

_I'm not crying, it's just been raining on my face_

_And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks_

_Please, please don't tell my mates_

Veronica was overcome with gratitude towards Piz, suddenly, for being able to make light of the situation. It was a welcome surprise, after their painful breakup conversation, and she appreciated it very much. _It looks like we really are going to be able to stay friends after all…_

The next song was The Vandals "My Girlfriend's Dead"…

_I don't want to talk about her_

_Someone always asks about her_

_So I tell them my girlfriend's dead_

_I say it's leukemia_

_Or sometimes bulimia_

_Or a great big truck ran over_

_And chopped off her head_

That was followed by Adam Sandler singing "Love Stinks" from _The Wedding Singer_, The Clash's "Train in Vain", and Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive". The next track took a more serious tone, with Ryan Montbleau Band's "Just Perfect"…

_And I know that time heals all things_

_But I feel like time kills all things bad about you_

_And could it really have been me who said so proudly,_

_That I'd be better off without you?_

Veronica's thoughts turned from Piz to Logan. _I really did convince myself that I was better off without him, didn't I? It was so much easier to make him the villain of the piece every time things got tough. Why was I always so hard on him? I held him to impossible standards, setting him up for failure… and then when he failed, I got to say "I told you so"._

And another Ryan Montbleau tune, "Love & Love Lost"…

_Kept, like a reason to live_

_There but unthought of_

_Taken for granted_

_Strong, but unheard of_

_Folded away in the depths of each day_

Veronica walked back over to her bed and lay down, closing her eyes_. I was so worried about getting hurt that I kept him at arm's length, even when we were together. Well…I _tried_ to keep him at arm's length, but he somehow made it past all of my defenses anyway. I once said that love was an investment, and information was insurance. But cynicism and love can't co-exist. I guess it's impossible to truly love someone, if you're not truly willing to let them in…_

She'd gotten towards the end of the album, and one of the Elliott Smith songs, "Say Yes" came on.

_I'm in love with the world_

_Through the eyes of a girl_

_Who's still around the morning after_

_We broke up, a month ago_

_I grew up, I didn't know_

_I'd be around the morning after_

Elliott's voice was hauntingly beautiful. He sang with so much raw emotion, it was almost painful to listen to. It reminded her forcefully of Logan. _He's like that too, sometimes. Just primal emotion. So opposite from me. _Logan had lost so many people, but he'd been able to love her without reservation. _And to trust me… How is he able to do that? How often did I show him how much I really cared, let alone tell him? _

_Crooked spin can't come to rest_

_I'm damaged bad at best_

_She'll decide what she wants_

_I'll probably be the last to know_

_No one says until it shows_

_And you see how it is_

_They want you or they don't_

_Say yes_

_He put himself at my mercy, even when he knew it wasn't going to end well. He told me, that day, that it would lead to unbearable pain. He knew. But he took me back anyway. And the first time something upset me, what did I do? I threw it all away. I didn't fight, I didn't even try… I just walked away. All because I was scared._

Another Elliott Smith song came on, "Roman Candle", and Veronica found herself listening intently to the lyrics.

_He played himself_

_Didn't need me to give him hell_

_He could be cool and cruel to you and me_

_Knew we'd put up with anything_

_I want to hurt him_

_I want to give him pain_

_I'm a roman candle_

_My head is full of flames_

Veronica thought about the cold interior of the Echolls house, what it must have been like for Logan to grow up there with Aaron… _The person who was supposed to protect him did nothing but inflict scars._ She'd seen the scars. On his back, his arms, his chest. Faint lines, slightly raised- some circular, some straight and criss-crossing over the others.

She'd never mentioned them. She'd wanted to give him privacy. _But what if he wanted to talk to me about it? What if he _needed _to? Why would he possibly trust me with that, when I acted like the abuse didn't exist? Just like everyone else…_

She sat up, ignoring the tears flowing freely down her cheeks, and looked around the room for her shoes.

**xxXxx**

Veronica slipped the keycard into the lock for the fourth time, but the light continued to flash red. She frowned and flipped the card over, looking to see if the magnetic strip had gotten scratched or worn away. It was intact. Veronica stared at the closed door in front of her in shock. _He changed the locks._

She slipped the keycard into her pocket and started walking slowly down the hall. She pushed the button for the elevator, still deep in thought. _What does this mean? Did he find out that I went in there, last week? How?_ The elevator doors opened and she walked inside. _Did I accidentally leave something here? Did he see it? If he did, that would mean that he's home… and he never called me. _

Veronica stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby, still in a daze. But as she walked towards the door, she spotted someone at the front desk and changed direction quickly. She stood in front of the young man with her arms crossed. He looked up, his expression souring when he recognized her.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"Hello, Ratner," she said, smiling sweetly. "Did you have a nice Christmas?"

"I'm Jewish," he reminded her dryly.

"Right. Sorry. Did you have a Happy Hanukah?"

"It was fine. But I know you don't really care anyway, so let's skip right to point," he replied.

"I'll make this fast," she said, dropping the act. "I really need to talk to Logan. Can you buzz his room and tell him he needs to come down to reception for something?"

Jeff looked at her strangely. "You don't know?"

"Know what?" she asked impatiently.

"Logan moved out. He doesn't live here anymore."

She stared at him. "He moved? When? Where did he go?"

Ratner made a face at her. "You know I can't give you that kind of information about hotel guests."

Veronica rolled her eyes at him. "If he moved out, he's not technically a hotel guest anymore."

Jeff crossed his arms and stared down at her, immovable.

"Fine," she sighed. "I'm cashing in my IOU. Tell me what I want to know, and you and I are square."

He nodded slowly. "Fair enough. What do you want to know?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, resisting the urge to shake him. She reopened her eyes. "When was the last time you saw Logan?"

"I haven't seen him at all," he replied.

"Well then how do you know that he moved out?" she demanded.

"A couple of guys were here a few days ago, from some moving company. All of the paperwork was in order, so we let them in."

"Where did they say they were going?"

"They didn't say, and I didn't ask."

"Well did they leave a forwarding address for his mail?" she asked.

Jeff shrugged. "Not that I know of. But I don't really deal with the mail."

Veronica looked down, feeling incredibly frustrated and exhausted. She'd basically learned nothing. She sighed and glanced back up at Jeff. "Okay." She turned to leave, but he spoke up behind her.

"I can ask Frankie, if you want. He comes in at noon tomorrow."

She turned back around and gave him a small smile. "I'd appreciate that. Thanks."

He nodded, and she walked towards the front door. _I'll just have to stop back over here tomorrow, and hope that I can get some answers._

**xxXxx**

The following morning, Veronica walked slowly across the parking lot and out onto the beach. She hadn't been able to sleep all night, but she still had hours to go before she could talk to Frankie. Restlessness had driven her out of the house, but she hadn't known where to go once she'd left. She wasn't hungry and she wasn't in the mood to be around other people. Crescent Beach was the obvious answer.

Veronica walked with her head down, deep in thought. It was New Year's Eve. She was supposed to make an appearance at Casey's party, later that evening, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to summon up the necessary enthusiasm. _I know I told Mac and Wallace I'd be there, but… I'll just rain on everyone's parade._ She stopped walking and looked out at the ocean. The water was a deep blue, and the sound of the waves crashing calmed her slightly. Being here was the closest she could get to being with Logan._ But it's not enough._

She continued walking, wondering for the thousandth time where he was, what he was doing. She hoped that she'd at least be able to find out where he'd moved. _Wherever it is, I'm going there. Today. I don't care how far away it is. And I don't care if he gets mad at me for checking up on him. I don't even care if he tells me to leave. At least I'll know that he's okay. If Frankie doesn't have any information, I think it's time to take Dad up on his offer, see what he can dig up._

Without realizing it, her feet had taken her to the spot where she and Logan always used to hang out. The spot where they'd made love for the first time. It was exactly where she wanted to be; but when she looked up, she saw that someone was already sitting there. Annoyed, she moved to skirt around him, and walk farther up the beach. And then he looked up.

_Logan._

They stared at each other for centuries. She moved towards him without any conscious thought, ignoring the pounding in her heart. When she reached him she paused, unsure if she should sit down beside him or not. He was looking up at her, his face solemn but otherwise unreadable.

"What are you doing here?" she finally managed.

One corner of his mouth turned up in a wry smile. "I come here, sometimes. To think."

"So do I," Veronica told him. They looked at each other in surprise, silent for half a moment.

"Good memories," Logan said.

Veronica smiled. "The best."

He returned her smile, briefly, and then shrugged his jacket off and laid it on the sand next to him. Logan patted it gently, and Veronica sat down gingerly on top of it. Neither one of them spoke for several minutes, each taking turns between watching the waves crashing down, and studying each other's faces.

Veronica cleared her throat. "I want to apologize to you. For what happened in Mexico. And for… a lot of other things, too." She risked a glance at Logan, who looked confused. "I should have made my feelings clearer," she told him, trying to clarify.

"Veronica-" Logan began. He stopped abruptly, then turned towards her. "What exactly are you apologizing for?"

"For… I don't know. For having bad timing, I guess. And for not talking to you, before we..."

"Kissed?" he asked, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah."

He nodded. "I'm sorry, too. That I left like that."

"I've been really worried about you. I left you, like, eight messages," she said.

"I know." He glanced at her. "I didn't listen to them."

Veronica felt anger bubbling up inside of her. "You didn't even _listen_ to them? But that's-" She stopped. _I did the same exact thing to him last year._

"That's what I had to do to stay sane," he told her flatly. "I didn't want you getting inside my head again."

She looked up at him, shocked, but he wouldn't look at her. She felt a tightening in her throat and chest. _It's too late. He doesn't want me any more, after all._ She swallowed hard. "Do you want me to leave?"

He looked at her, finally, his eyes dark and guarded. Logan shook his head. "No," he finally replied. He looked back out at the ocean. "Do you want to know why I left?"

"Yes," she said softly.

Logan kept his head facing forward as he spoke. "I left because all I've been doing for the last year is thinking about you. I needed a new hobby."

Veronica's heart leapt at his admission, but she fought to keep her voice steady. "Where did you go?"

"Uganda."

"_Africa?_ Wow. What did you do there?"

Logan looked at her. "I thought about you."

Veronica felt hope well up inside of her. She took a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage to tell him everything she'd promised herself she'd tell him, when she finally saw him again. "I wish you'd listened to my messages," she began, speaking quickly. "I said a lot of stuff in those messages. But I get why you didn't. I mean, I never listened to that message you left me after we broke up last year."

"_What_?" he asked, his voice tinged with anger.

"Logan," she said gently, "you just admitted to doing the exact same thing."

He paused. Then he nodded, a smirk on his lips. "Right."

"It's never been simple with us," Veronica said, trying to start her confession again. "It's your fault, it's my fault, it's your fault, it's my fault again. I can't even keep track anymore. And we never got to start with a clean slate. There were always the ghosts of our pasts haunting us. Lilly, everything that happened the year after she died, Duncan…"

"But even before that," Logan said, turning his body slightly to face her more fully. "When we first met, I had a total crush on you." He laughed shortly. "And I always thought maybe you liked me too, but-"

"I did!" Veronica admitted, twisting her body towards him as well. "But I was too shy to ever say anything. And then you and Lilly-"

"And Duncan told me he liked you, so I never…"

They looked at each other and laughed. Veronica felt the tension between them thaw a bit, and she took a deep breath. "How different would things have been if I'd had the courage to just tell you how I felt about you, from the beginning?" she wondered aloud. _But I have the courage now; and maybe it's not too late._

"I don't know," Logan replied softly. "I've thought about that myself, sometimes. What if I'd just been honest with you? What if I'd told you how I was really feeling, instead of…" he trailed off, frowning and looking down.

Veronica got the feeling that they were talking about something else, now. Something more serious than their junior high crushes on each other. She watched him as he picked up a pale white shell off of the beach, running his thumb back and forth along its underside slowly. When he looked back up at her, his expression was somber.

"Veronica," he began, his voice rough. He cleared his throat and continued, looking at her intently. "After Lilly died, I was horrible to you. I still get sick to my stomach when I think about all of the things I said to you. And the awful things I did."

"I've done my share of things to you too, Logan," she replied. "I freaked out and ran away every time something went wrong. I alway_s_ assumed the worst of you. I _never_ gave you the benefit of the doubt. I accused you of murdering Lilly, for god's sake. You called me from jail, and I didn't even have the guts to tell you-"

"I don't blame you for that," Logan interrupted her, shaking his head. "After the way I'd been treating you all year… Deep down, I knew that you hadn't forgiven me for everything. I'd spent all year trying to make you hurt like I was hurting. People just don't forget about that and move on." He gave her a wry smile. "Especially Veronica Mars." He sighed and looked down again. "At Shelly's party, I went out of my way to-"

"Don't," Veronica said. "That's ancient history. I've made my peace with what happened that night." She put her hand on his arm and he glanced up at her. She looked him in the eye, willing him to believe her. "Truly," she said quietly.

He opened his mouth as if to protest, but closed it silently. She kept her hand on his arm and inched closer to him, wanting him to understand that she wasn't scared anymore. Logan's eyes widened slightly in surprise at her sudden nearness, but he didn't move away. She took a deep breath, and continued.

"Logan, last year… I was awful to you. I realize that now. I was so closed off, and distant. All you ever tried to do was make me happy, and protect me. And I just brushed you off like you were a bug. The truth is, I was still… really afraid to trust you. And I think, maybe, part of me was still expecting you to screw up. Almost… _hoping_ for you to screw up. So I could be right." She looked at him. "What I did to you was far worse than anything you've done to me."

She took her hand off of his arm, finally, giving him back some space. Logan didn't say anything right away; but his eyes searched hers, full of uncertainty. He looked as though he couldn't quite believe what she was saying to him. After a few seconds, his gaze shifted back toward the ocean. He pulled one leg towards himself, resting his chin on the top of his bended knee. After a moment, he glanced at her. "What about Madison?"

Veronica had known the question was coming, but she still needed to take a breath before she replied. She shook her head, looking down at the sand. "I hate that I let that get to me so much. And that I ended things with you the way I did. Without even trying to work things out. Without even listening to what you had to say." She looked him directly in the eye. "I'm truly sorry for that."

Logan lifted up his head and straightened his leg out in front of him. He ran a hand back and forth through his hair. "And beating the crap out of Piz?"

Veronica scooted closer to him, so close that their knees were touching, and put her hand back on his arm. "It's in the past, Logan. I've forgiven you for that. I've forgiven you for all of it."

He shook his head. "I don't know how."

"Because I love you," she replied simply.

Logan looked up at her, stunned. He looked back and forth from one of her eyes to the other, but he remained silent.

Veronica felt the tears start to flow down her cheeks, but she paid them no mind. All of her focus was on Logan. "It's always been you, Logan. Only you," she whispered.

"Oh, Veronica." He reached out one hand to her face, wiping the tears from beneath her eye with his thumb. Then he reached out his other arm and wrapped it around her, drawing her to him. He held her tightly, his cheek against hers. When he pulled back, she could see that he was smiling. He touched her face gently.

She moved closer, to kiss him. She expected Logan to move forward as well. But as usual, Logan didn't do the expected thing. Instead, he tackled her to the ground, rolling them both over so that she suddenly found herself lying on top of him. He wrapped both arms around her, not letting her go.

"What are you doing?" she laughed, lifting her head from his chest so she could look at him.

He grinned at her. "Rewinding. You just told me that you loved me. Do you remember what comes next?"

She looked at him, confused for a moment. And then she smiled. She pulled herself up and whispered in his ear. "You asked me to tell you why I loved you."

"And then?" he urged.

"You kissed me."

"Did I?" he asked. "Hmmm." Logan put both hands on her face, turning her towards him. And then he kissed her, very gently, on the lips.

The kiss sent hot shivers down Veronica's spine, making her crave more contact, more intensity. But every time she tried to deepen the kiss, Logan would turn his head away slightly. Teasing her. She pulled away, finally, shaking her head at him. "You're gonna get it," she warned.

"Promise?" he asked. He ran his hand lightly up her back, beneath her shirt.

She wrapped her hand around his wrist, to stop him from taking her shirt off completely. There weren't many people on the beach with them, but there were some. As eager as she was to take their reunion to the next level, there were still limits to what she was willing to do in broad daylight. And then she smiled, as she recalled her words from long ago. "Find me somewhere warm, and I'll consider it," she whispered.

Logan nodded to the house on the bluff. "How about that place?"

"Haven't we been through this before?" she laughed.

"Maybe," Logan replied slowly. "But I'm pretty sure it won't be a problem, this time around."

"You're telling me that the owners of that house accepted a couple of thousand, just so we can defile their home for a few hours?" she joked. She bent down to kiss his forehead, then his lips.

"Precisely."

Veronica groaned and kissed him again, biting his lower lip lightly. "Come on, Logan," she said impatiently, planting kisses down his neck. "Let's just find a hotel room or something."

"I've had enough of hotels," he replied.

Logan sat up suddenly, taking her by surprise. He adjusted his arms so that they were secure around her waist; and then he stood up, picking her up with him. Veronica crossed her ankles and tightened her arms around his neck, hanging on firmly as Logan began walking forward. "Where are you going?" she laughed.

"I thought you might want to see my new place," he answered, nodding towards the house on the bluff. "It could definitely benefit from your feminine touch." He grinned at her. "So could I."

She stared at him. "Are you telling me that you bought that house?"

"Yup," he replied. They'd arrived at a wrought iron gate that Veronica had never noticed before, at the base of a stone stairway that appeared to lead directly from the beach to the house. Logan produced a key from somewhere and unlocked it, still managing to keep hold of Veronica as he did. Then he pushed a strand of hair from her face and smiled at her. "I bought it for you."

"For me?" she repeated softly.

"Everything I do is for you. Don't you know that yet?" he asked. With his free hand, he pressed the back of her head towards him, kissing her deeply. Veronica was breathless when he finally pulled away. Logan grinned at her, opening the gate and walking through it.

They started up the stone path, both silent for a moment as he climbed the steps. Veronica couldn't believe what was happening, that she was actually in Logan's arms again. She thought about everything that had led them to that moment, trying to let it all sink in. _But it still feels like a dream._ Noticing how quiet Logan was, she looked at him curiously. "What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"At the moment? I'm thinking how happy I am that you're so tiny." He laughed, adjusting her weight around his waist.

"You know, I _can_ walk on my own power," she retorted.

"I know. But if I'm holding you, you can't run away," he returned, smirking.

"I'm not going to run away," she said seriously. "Not anymore. I promise."

Logan stopped walking and turned his face to hers. He kissed her on the lips, again and again. And then he held her to him tightly, his forehead pressed against hers and his fingers tangled in her hair. "And what are _you_ thinking about?" he asked her softly.

"That you need to hurry your ass up this walkway," she replied.

"Agreed." Logan took the rest of the stairs at a sprint, and she laughed, holding on to him for dear life.

**Please review :)**

**A/N Music is a huge part of the writing process for me, and I listen to a LOT of Elliott Smith when I write. There's a specific recording that I've been listening to since I started writing this back in the fall. I'll put the link on my profile, if anyone is interested. It's not for everyone. (In fact, he's one of the few musicians that my fiancé and I disagree on.) This isn't happy music. He sang about abuse, drug addiction and suicide, among other things. But he was also a genius.**

**I'll put a Ryan Montbleau Band link up too. Love them. (And aside from being a diehard romantic, Ryan is also incredibly sexy in person. Whew.)**

**Also, there will be one more chapter and then an epilogue. I'll also be posting a pop culture reference list at some point, just to give credit where credit's due. **


	19. House Upon the Hill

**A/N Well, this is it; my dream chapter. This is the reason I started writing this story, the culmination of nearly a year of hard work. It's everything I wished we could have seen on the show. (Although some of it wouldn't have made it through standards and practices lol). I've had some of these scenes written from the very beginning, and I've been dying to share them with everyone for months. We're finally here. Enjoy.**

**A special note to my reviewers: I quite literally couldn't have done this without you. You are AMAZING. You inspired me to be better, and to work harder. It's been a real pleasure getting to hear your thoughts, and being able to correspond with some of you. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.**

**This one is to friends, both new and old.**

**And Happy belated B-day to Steph McG :)**

**Chapter 19**

Veronica

Logan and Veronica lay nude, their limbs intertwined haphazardly as they both tried to catch their breath. Logan's arm was draped across her body, his leg caught between hers. One of her hands had gone slightly numb, trapped below his shoulder. But she'd barely noticed. She rested her forehead against his stomach. His skin was damp with sweat, and the fine hair on his body tickled her nose as his chest rose and fell; but she had absolutely no desire to move.

After a moment, Logan moved his hand up to her head, gently sweeping the tangled hair back from her face. She turned her head sideways, her cheek on his stomach, and looked up at him. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"So. How do you feel?" he asked, a lazy grin spreading across his face.

She pulled herself up so that she was lying on her side next to him, her head on the pillow. "Scared," she replied honestly.

"Scared?" he repeated with a laugh. "Not quite the adjective I was hoping for. I was thinking more along the lines of 'impressed' or 'amazed'… I'd even accept 'satisfied'. I'm clearly off my game." When she didn't respond, he frowned. "Hey, are you serious? Are you really scared?"

"Terrified," she admitted.

Doubt flickered in Logan's eyes. "Did I-"

Veronica reached an assuring hand up to his cheek immediately, shaking her head. "No," she interrupted him, not wanting there to be even a second of misunderstanding. "I'm all of those things, I promise." She stroked her thumb down his jaw line and smiled. "Impressed. Amazed. _Immensely_ satisfied. But I'm also scared."

Logan caught her hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing her thumb lightly. But he still looked concerned, despite her assurances. "Why?"

She took a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage to be honest. To allow herself to be vulnerable. "Because I love you so much," she answered him in a whisper. "I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you. Or if I lost you again."

"Hey," he said softly, pulling her close to him. "I'm not going anywhere. _Ever_." He kissed her forehead, and the tip of her nose, and then her lips. "And neither are you."

He seemed to mean that literally.

When Veronica motioned to stand up, about a half hour later, Logan reached his arms out and put his hands on her hips, pulling her back down onto the bed. He rolled them both over so he was straddling her, and shook his head. "Uh-uh."

Her mild protests were lost in his kisses, and within seconds she had no desire to go anywhere.

Some time later, Logan looked as though he were about to drift off to sleep. She quietly mentioned finding her clothes, and moved just slightly towards the edge of the bed. But Logan curled his arm around her waist tightly, eyes still closed. "Nope."

"But I'm cold," she laughed.

"That's what I'm here for," he mumbled. He scooted himself towards her, resting his head on her pillow and pulling the blanket up around them both.

"So," Veronica said, snuggling closer to him, "you're just gonna keep me chained up to you here, like Princess Leia?"

"That depends," he replied. He opened one eye. "Are you willing to wear a gold bikini?"

"Only if I get to call you Jabba," she retorted.

"You can call me whatever the hell you want, if you wear that bikini." He grinned at her sleepily, and she nestled her head into his chest.

They fell asleep that way. When Veronica awoke, she wasn't sure how much later, they were still in the same position. She didn't move for several moments, listening to the rhythm of his heart beat, breathing in his scent. She'd always marveled at how well their bodies molded together. With a full foot height difference between them, it seemed impossible that they should fit so perfectly. _But we do._

She reveled in the familiar comfort of his body, feeling completely at ease. Safe. Loved. Veronica gently lifted his arm off of her body and moved away from him slightly. She studied his face as he slept. Logan was usually a bit of a restless sleeper, tossing and twisting, reaching out for her in his sleep. At the moment, he was totally still. She couldn't remember ever seeing him look so at peace.

Veronica looked down at his body, admiring his muscular physique. _He looks even better than I remembered._ She'd craved him these last few weeks, like she craved caffeine in the morning. _No, much more than that. And for longer than a few weeks, if I'm being honest with myself. Much, much longer._

She traced her fingernails along the lines of his abdomen, smiling as she thought about the way they'd spent their morning. _We've always worked, physically. That was the one part of our relationship that never took any effort._

Yet she still had nagging concerns that she wasn't quite his equal, sexually, despite how incredible it always felt. Veronica was certain that he'd done things with other women that he'd never attempted with her. She wasn't sure if he held back with her because he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, or if he just didn't think she'd be willing. The truth was, she knew she'd be up for pretty much anything he wanted to do.

_It's something we'll have to discuss. But not now..._ She kissed Logan awake, trailing her lips softly across his neck, his chest, his stomach. "Mmm," he mumbled. "Best alarm clock ever." He weaved his fingers through her hair as she continued to explore his body, sighing contentedly. "God I've fucking missed you."

She grinned and climbed back up his body, kissing him lightly on the lips. "Morning, sunshine."

"Is it still morning?" he asked, glancing out the window.

"Does it matter?" she replied, catching his lower lip between her teeth.

"Not at all," he agreed. Logan ran his hands down her back until he reached her hips. He gripped them tightly, inhaling sharply as Veronica sunk her teeth into his neck. "We have much more…pressing concerns."

Morning lazed into afternoon, and they savored every moment spent together. Every kiss, every nibble, every whisper of love. Veronica checked the urge to pinch herself, to see if she were dreaming- because even if she were, she didn't want to wake up. At one point, she found herself staring at him, his brown eyes light as amber in the sunlit room. He stared back at her, his expression inscrutable.

"What are you thinking about?" he finally asked.

"I was thinking about what you said to me, that night in Mexico."

"Which part?" he asked warily.

"The part where you told me how much I suck. Thank you, by the way. That was very considerate of you."

"Hey, you asked me to do it," he reminded her, raising an eyebrow.

"I know." Veronica bit her lip. "And you were right, about a lot of it." Logan looked as though he were about to speak up, but she continued. "I was especially thinking about that thing you said, about me running away."

Logan was silent for a moment, as he looked into her eyes. "Yeah," he finally replied.

"I know you're right," Veronica began. "I do run away all the time. But it's not just from you. I mean, I don't want you to think it's something I only do with _you_. I do it whenever I feel… overwhelmed. I start to feel like I can't breathe, and I just need to get out of wherever I am. It's like… the only way I can start to feel calmer." She wasn't sure if she was explaining it well enough, but Logan nodded.

"I know," he said quietly.

"I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to deal with things differently," she told him honestly. "When I feel trapped, I just need to…" Veronica waved her hand vaguely at the door. Then she took his hand in hers. "But I promise you that I'm working on it."

"Okay." Logan squeezed her hand tightly. "Listen, all of that stuff I said to you that night… I mean, we both know _I'm_ pretty damn far from perfect, too."

Veronica smiled slyly, running the tips of her fingers up his tan, well-formed forearm. "Well I don't know about _that_."

He smiled back at her, but it faded quickly as he continued. "The summer before senior year, when we got back together…" Logan let go of her hand, seeming suddenly uncomfortable. He shifted his body so that he lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling. "You were the only one who was there for me. Who stood by my side. You were amazing… But my head was too far up my ass to appreciate how good I had it. I had _you_. And I screwed it up."

Logan turned his head back towards her. "So my punishment was that I had to watch you with Duncan. I knew it was only fair, but it made me fucking _insane_. Instead of just… accepting it, or dealing with it, I wanted to make you hurt like I was hurting. _Again_. " He shook his head. "So I paraded Kendall around in front of you, trying to make you jealous." He laughed shortly. "Like you ever gave a crap about what I was doing. You looked at me with such… disgust."

His eyes shifted back upward, toward the ceiling. "It was torture to be around the two of you, do you know that?" he said softly. "Seeing you cuddled up on the couch with him, watching you come out of his room and _knowing_ that you-" Logan stopped abruptly. His gaze dropped back to her face, and he looked her directly in the eye. "But it was still better than not seeing you at all."

He turned his body back towards her, running his hand down the side of her face. "Yet somehow, after all of that, you were mine again. But then you started to get more and more distant. I could feel you slipping away, no matter how tightly I tried to hold on. And then… you were gone." Logan exhaled heavily. "The way you looked at me that night, when you told me you knew about me and- about what had happened. I thought that was it. That I'd lost you forever, even as a friend."

"Logan, I told you…" Veronica began earnestly. "I'm sorry about that. I regret it more than you can possibly know."

"So do I," he replied quietly.

"I know." She chewed on her lower lip, wondering if she could muster up the courage to ask him the question that had been bothering her for almost a year. Finally, she just blurted it out. "Did you really like Parker?"

Logan smiled, and she fought every instinct not to run out of the room as she waited for his answer. "No," he finally replied. "I _wanted _to like her. But I think I just liked that she liked me. And that she was so easy to figure out. Unlike certain _other_ people, who require their own guide book." He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. "I always thought you saw right through that?"

"Of course," she lied.

He grinned. "Okay, Mars. My turn."

Veronica, feeling slightly panicked, reached for his hand again and kissed it quickly. "C'mon, Logan. I don't want to keep drudging up old stuff. I want a clean slate this time. And I really, truly mean that." She cleared her throat as she searched for a new topic. "So. Are you going to explain to me how you managed to buy a house while you were on a different continent?"

Logan, who didn't look at all convinced by her sudden interest in real estate, seemed willing to let the matter drop. "I closed on it before I'd even left for Mexico."

"Really? That was fast."

"Well, there was nothing to consider. As soon as I heard it was on the market, I knew it was the only place I'd settle for." He smirked at her. "Even if it _wasn't_ on the market, it would have been the only place I'd have settled for."

Veronica smiled, still in a state of disbelief that Logan had bought her dream house for her. She kissed him gently on the lips, overcome with gratitude. He responded instantly, cupping his hand around the back of her neck and pulling her closer to him. Before things intensified, a sudden thought occurred to her and she broke off the kiss abruptly. "Did you tell Dick that you moved out of the suite yet?" Logan didn't respond, and she looked at him suspiciously. "Oh no."

"I asked him to move into the guest house," he admitted apologetically, confirming her worst fears.

Veronica flopped back onto her pillow, rolling her eyes. "Logan, I _know_ he can afford to-"

"I want him here," Logan interrupted her. She looked at him in surprise, but waited for him to continue. "I like having him around. And he doesn't have anyone else. Not really."

She studied him for a moment, fully understanding for the first time the extent of Logan's loyalty to the people he loved. "Okay," she finally said. "Dick can be our very own Kato Kaelin." She paused. "It's just him though, right? Not, like, him and Chip, or one of his other frat buddies?"

"Just him. If anyone else tries to move in, I'll shoot 'em," Logan assured her. Veronica raised an eyebrow, and he shrugged. "Politely."

She laughed. "Fine. Just promise me that he doesn't have a key to the main house. I have a feeling we're going to need plenty…" Veronica leaned closer to him and kissed him on the lips. "…of privacy." She kissed him again, tangling her fingers in his hair and pulling him on top of her.

Logan returned her kisses for several moments; but then it was his turn to break away. He looked down at her, his eyes serious. "I want you to think of this as your house. _Our _house. And… when you're ready, I want you to move in here with me." He gave her a wry smile, as he pushed a strand of hair out of her eye. "From now on, my cards are on the table. Facing up. As much fun as it was playing our little chess game, it was kind of exhausting."

Veronica thought about that. She'd lived in four different places this year- her old apartment, the housing at Quantico, the dorms, and now the new house. She grimaced at the idea of having to pack her stuff up again. She focused back on Logan, who had suddenly gotten up off of her and moved over to his side of the bed. She glanced over at him, confused.

"Logan?"

He shrugged, his eyes on the ceiling. "I get it. It's okay if you don't want that."

She inched herself closer to him, turning his head gently with the tips of her fingers so that he'd look at her. She bent her head down and kissed him fully on the lips. "I want," she told him. "I _definitely_ want. We've spent enough time apart."

Logan smiled. "I agree." He drew her close to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. It limited her movement, which she usually hated. But, for once, she pushed the panic away and surrendered herself to him. She relaxed instantly. He kissed the hollow of her throat softly. "I'm never letting you go," he informed her in a whisper. "Ever."

Veronica felt a pleasant fluttering in her stomach at the thought of living with Logan. Getting to wake up next to him every morning, falling asleep beside him every night. Having a place together that was just for them, their own little sanctuary away from the rest of the world. But then something occurred to her, and she frowned. "There are practical things to consider first."

"Hmm?" Logan asked, kissing his way slowly across her collarbone. "Like what?"

"Like my dad."

He glanced up at her, making a face. "Can we not talk about this right now? I was enjoying myself."

Veronica knew it would have to be discussed eventually, but she nodded. "Okay."

"Thank you."

Logan bowed his head back down, continuing where he'd left off. His movements were deliberate and achingly slow, but it was the sweetest kind of torture. Veronica closed her eyes and smiled, all thoughts of practicality quickly flowing out of her mind. He kissed the very tip of one nipple, then bit it lightly, running a flat palm down the side of her body. And all she could focus on were the sensations shivering through her body.

They dozed off again awhile later. Veronica awoke to the feel of Logan's hand running up her calf. She laughed lightly, her eyes still closed. "As much as I'd like to start round… four, is it?" She opened her eyes and lifted her head slightly, glancing down at him.

"Five," he corrected her, laying kisses up her thigh.

"Really? Hmmm…" She lost her train of thought for a moment, then shook herself back to the present. "I think I might need some food before I pass out."

"Want me to call for a pizza?"

"For breakfast?"

Logan traveled up her body, sowing a trail of kisses as he went. He bit her earlobe lightly and settled himself beside her again. "Veronica, it's like 3 o'clock."

"Oh, shit, is it really?" she asked. She sat up abruptly, looking for her phone. Her bag was on the floor beside her, the contents spilling out. She rifled through it, finally locating her phone, and quickly dialed her house. Alicia answered after just a couple of rings.

"Are you okay?" Alicia asked quickly.

"I'm fine," Veronica replied. "I'm so sorry."

"When you didn't show up for lunch, I got worried. It's just not like you. And then I tried calling you a couple of times, and you didn't answer-"

"I'm _really_ sorry to worry you," she repeated. "You didn't say anything to my dad yet, did you?"

"No. I was actually just about to call him. What's going on?"

Veronica smiled into the phone. She and Alicia had spoken quite a bit about Logan, especially during his recent absence. Alicia had firmly believed that he'd just needed space; that when they spoke again, they'd work everything out. "I, uh, found Logan."

"I see," Alicia replied, and Veronica could hear the smile in her voice. "So we shouldn't expect you home tonight?"

"Ummm…no," Veronica answered slowly. "But can you _please_ find a way to tell my dad that won't make his head explode?"

Alicia laughed. "Don't worry, I've got it covered."

"Thank you," Veronica said gratefully. "I owe you one!"

She said goodbye and hung up. When she turned back towards Logan, he was smiling. "What?" she asked suspiciously.

"You were really worried about me, huh?" he asked.

Veronica set her phone on the hardwood floor and lay back down beside him. "Of course," she replied. "You took off without a word, didn't answer any of my calls… When I found out you'd moved out of the hotel, I started thinking I was never going to see you again."

"You really think I could ever just pick up and leave you like that, without even saying goodbye?" he asked gently.

"Well, I _hoped_ you wouldn't. But you were really mad. I thought maybe I'd… driven you away forever, this time," she admitted. She took a deep breath. The honesty thing was getting a tiny bit easier, but it still made her uncomfortable. She changed the subject abruptly. "So, what did you do in Uganda?"

Logan opened his mouth, but she put a finger to his lips. "_Besides_ think about me."

He grinned and kissed the tip of her finger. "Apollo took me on a tour of the country. He showed me some of the schools they'd helped rebuild. I even got to do some actual work on one of them." He gave her a wry smile. "I was out there in the sun one day, sweating through clothes that were _completely_ inappropriate, and I was just thinking- this is the most _useful_ thing I've ever done. This will have results. You know what I mean?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I know exactly what you mean."

"Apollo wants me to use my connections- well, my _parents _connections- in the film industry. To try and build awareness, get more documentaries made, that kind of thing. But I want to try and help with the schools, too." He bent his elbow and propped his body up, so the side of his face rested on his hand. "I was thinking, maybe I'll try and get some of the local schools here involved with the program, or see if I can get some teachers to volunteer. Do you think that's stupid?"

She shook her head, feeling incredibly proud of him. "Not at all. I think it's an amazing idea, actually."

Logan smiled briefly, but his eyes were far away. "When I read Apollo's book, I kept thinking- there's no way this guy isn't completely messed up, after everything he's been through. No way in hell, not after doing all of the shit they made him do. But then I met him, and he's…okay. Normal. I mean, those memories are always going to be with him, but he hasn't let it… infect him. He was born into violence, but he managed to make it out alive."

Veronica looked at him intently. "Like you," she said softly. She ran her index finger along a particularly long scar on Logan's left shoulder, then reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly.

Logan looked back at her, silent for several moments. Finally, he took a deep breath and exhaled. "Yeah. Like me." He lay back down on his side and reached for her other hand, twining his fingers through hers. "I guess I've always been worried, you know? That when you're raised like that, it's inevitable that you _become_ like that."

He'd mentioned this to her before, his worries that Aaron had passed along some kind of "murderer" gene to him; but she knew they weren't talking about what his father had done to Lilly, this time. _We're talking about what Aaron did to _him_._ Veronica stayed silent, waiting for him to continue.

Logan ran his thumb back and forth along her palm. "But Apollo resisted it, instead of embracing it. He made a choice." He glanced down at his shoulder, at the scar Veronica had just touched. It was about five inches long and slightly raised. "I remember how I got every single scar. But _that_ one is special."

It took Veronica a few seconds to respond. She felt a lump rising in her throat, but she managed to keep her tears at bay. "Why is that?" she managed.

"I got that one the day I met you."

Veronica's mind traveled instantly back to that day, trying to figure out what Logan could have done to make Aaron so angry…

_After an hour of lying in the sun, Lilly announces that she's bored and pulls Veronica up off the lounger. They go up to her room for awhile, chatting about boys and the upcoming school year. When they make their way back downstairs, they find the boys in the den, watching _Raiders of the Lost Ark_. They're at the end of the movie, and Logan turns to Duncan._

"_I gotta go. I'm supposed to be home for dinner tonight."_

_Lilly and Veronica walk farther into the room, and Lilly takes a pool cue off the wall. The boys notice their arrival and turn around. Lilly heads over to the pool table and starts to rack the balls. "We should play partners," she suggests. "Girls versus boys."_

_Logan looks from Lilly to Veronica, but doesn't make any move to get up._

"_What?" Lilly asks with a grin. "Don't know how to play?"_

"_Of course I do," Logan replies, making a face. He stands up and walks over to them, and Duncan follows._

_Veronica hesitates, glancing at her watch. "My dad is supposed to pick me up soon."_

_Lilly shrugs. "Just give him a call and tell him you want to stay here a little longer. We'll have the driver take you home later." She nods to Logan. "He can take both of you guys home."_

_Logan and Veronica glance at each other. "Uh, okay," he agrees. "I guess I can stay a little longer."_

"_Me too," Veronica decides quickly. "Let me just call my dad before we start."_

"_And let's order a pizza," Duncan suggests._

_They end up making a tournament of it. Best of five becomes best of seven (Lilly's idea, since the girls are losing). After pizza, they decide to have ice cream and go for another swim. _

_It's very late, by the time Veronica and Logan finally get into the limo to go home. They're silent for several minutes. Veronica is a little nervous to be alone with him, but Logan is just looking out the window; he seems distracted. _

"_My dad's not going to be happy with me," she finally speaks up._

_He glances at Veronica sharply, studying her intently as though he's looking for something specific. "Yeah," he says quietly. "Mine either." He doesn't say anything else, just continues to look out the window. After a few moments, he sighs and settles back in his seat. He looks over at her. "So. What position?"_

"_What?" she asks quickly. She can feel herself blushing, and she's grateful for the dim lighting within the limousine._

_Logan grins, his brown eyes suddenly mischievous. But his face becomes serious quickly, and his tone innocent, as he gestures to her soccer uniform. "What position do you play?"_

Veronica stared into that same set of eyes now, unclasping one of her hands from his so she could run her fingers down his cheek. "Was he upset because you came home so late?" she asked softly, feeling a surge of guilt_. If I hadn't stayed, they wouldn't have been able to play teams. He would have gotten home on time. _

"No," Logan replied. "I mean, yeah, but…that day, he was angry because he found out I crashed the brand new jet ski. Coming home late pissed him off more, but I already knew I had it coming." He shrugged. "The reason never really mattered that much. I used to think I was just a bad kid, that I probably deserved it. So I tried to be good. But even when I didn't do anything wrong, he'd just make something up."

Logan touched the scar on his shoulder again, his eyes still far away. "I made it all the way up to my room that night without running into him. I thought I was in the clear, you know? That maybe he'd gone out somewhere; or maybe, somehow, my mom had managed to hide it from him. But when I turned on my light, there was a belt lying across my pillow. And he was sitting in the chair in the corner, waiting for me." Logan laughed bitterly. "He loved to do shit like that. Make it all dramatic."

Veronica felt the tears spilling over, running down onto her pillow. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Logan's eyes shifted back to her face, and he frowned. He reached his hand up and wiped the tears from her face with his thumb. "Don't. Okay?"

She sniffled and wiped her eyes, forcing the horrible images of Aaron hurting him out her mind. She knew she'd cry for him later, when he wasn't around. But the last thing she wanted to do right now was make this any harder for him. Veronica scooted closer to Logan and wrapped her arm around his waist. He held her tightly, stroking her hair back.

"I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself," he said softly into her ear. "No matter how shitty my life has been, there are plenty of people out there who've had it worse. And I'm tired of worrying that I'm going to turn out like him."

Veronica pulled away from him slightly and looked into his eyes. "You're _not_," she said forcefully. "You're _nothing_ like him."

Logan smiled faintly and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you."

"And I love you," she returned, kissing him on the lips.

"Well that works out nicely, then, doesn't it?" he asked, his lips brushing against hers as he spoke. He bent his head down and kissed the side of her neck softly, his breath warm against her skin.

"Mmm…" she agreed, pulling him closer. "_Very_ nicely."

**xxXxx**

Several hours later, Veronica stood up and stretched lazily. She walked across the room to Logan's closet and opened it, quickly finding a t-shirt. She slipped it on and headed back over to the bed. Although she knew Logan was joking about not letting her leave the bedroom, she hadn't ventured out of the master suite all day. She hadn't wanted to. The outside world could offer her absolutely nothing as wonderful as the peace and security she'd felt all day with Logan, in that bedroom.

Thoughts of the outside world, however, led to thoughts about what she was supposed to be _doing_ in the outside world. "Shit. Mac," she said aloud. Veronica reached for her phone and dialed her friend.

"Where the hell are you?" Mac demanded, skipping hello. "I was starting to get really worried."

Logan walked into the room with a bag full of takeout, shaking his head in disapproval at her. He set the bag down on the bed and pointed at her shirt. "Why even bother? You'll only have it on for about five seconds." He pulled off his own shirt and kicked off his jeans, climbing into bed beside her in just his boxers. He wasted no time slipping his hands beneath her shirt and beginning to lift it up gently. "Not that you don't look adorable in it," he assured her with a grin, sliding his hands up her bare back. "But I prefer skin on skin."

"I'm sorry," Veronica finally responded to Mac, biting her lip on a smile. "I'm with Logan, actually. We're, umm…" She trailed off as Logan started to tug playfully at the hem of her shirt. She smacked his hand lightly, but that only encouraged him more.

Mac laughed into the phone. "I see. And will you be 'umming' all night? Or do you think you guys will eventually make an appearance at our party?"

Veronica finally gave in to Logan's insistence, transferring the phone to her other hand as he pulled her shirt off. He lifted her into his lap, facing him, and started to run his index finger very slowly down her spine. "Well…uh…" Veronica shivered, as Logan began to nibble on her neck. "Probably… the first one. We have a lot of, uh, catching up to do. I'm really sorry."

Mac laughed again. "Don't be. Tell him welcome home. Give me a call when you've recovered. I can't _wait_ to hear this one. And Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year, Mac. Tell Casey we're sorry we couldn't be there-" Veronica broke off abruptly as she felt Logan pulling the phone out of her hand. "Talk to you soon!" she added quickly.

Logan took the phone from her before she could hear Mac's reply, and put it up to his own ear. "Mac, you know we both love you. But I'm hanging up now." He pushed a button and tossed the phone to the side. "Now. Where were we?"

Veronica's disapproving look quickly evolved into one of delight, as Logan continued to run his fingers very slowly along every inch of her body. His tongue, meanwhile, traveled a path along the outside of her ear, and down to the hollow of her throat. She wrapped her legs around his waist and tilted her head to the side, giving him better access to her neck.

"So we're not going to the party, right?" he mumbled into her skin.

"Did you want to?" she asked breathlessly, closing her eyes.

"Hell no," he replied, biting down on her neck.

She gasped and gripped the blanket beneath her, opening her eyes when she felt her arm brush against something warm. It was the bag of takeout Logan had set down on the bed. She knew there was an enchilada in there waiting for her, and she was starving. But Logan clearly had other things on the agenda. "So we're not going to eat dinner?"

"Did you want to?" he asked. He started to suck on the side of her neck, lightly at first, and then with increasing pressure.

She sighed happily, running her fingernails up his back and through his hair. She put both palms on Logan's chest and pushed him, so he fell backward onto the bed. "Hell no."

**xxXxx**

Wallace

Wallace looked at his watch. _11:48. Twelve more minutes until my fairy godmother turns me into a pumpkin, and all of this disappears. Or something like that._ Wallace sighed and sank down onto the brown leather couch. He didn't let his imagination run away from him, very often. He usually tried to stay pretty grounded in reality. Science and math were all about rational thought, after all. Solving for x.

But Casey's house was so vast and elaborate that it didn't take too much work to picture himself inside of a castle somewhere. Except instead of a princess waiting for her knight, the roles had been reversed. _He_ was the one waiting for his princess, and she only had twelve more minutes to get there. Wallace sighed, trying once again to resign himself to the fact that she wasn't going to come. Unfortunately, he'd had just enough champagne to make him really, really wish that he had someone to kiss at midnight.

He looked around him. There were couples everywhere. Some of them had arrived that way, some of them had paired up since they'd gotten to the party. People were pretty superstitious, when it came down to it. Everyone wanted to start the New Year right. Wallace realized he probably should have started looking for someone to lock lips with as soon as he'd gotten there- but he'd held out hope that Jackie would take him up on his invitation.

She'd gotten in touch with him on Christmas day, finally, and they'd met for coffee the next morning... And then again, the following morning. Their conversations had been smooth and easy, fun and playful. She'd told him about the classes she was taking at Parsons- fashion design- and asked him how his own classes were going. They'd talked about her son, a little, and he'd told her the news about his mom and Keith.

But when he'd asked her if she wanted to come to Casey's party, her smile had disappeared and her gaze had shifted downward. "I don't think that would be such a good idea," she said softly. He asked her why, and she smiled sadly. "You know why."

He didn't; not really. So he'd grabbed a napkin off the table and asked the waitress if he could borrow her pen. And then he'd written down Casey's address and slid it across the table. "If you change your mind, meet me here before midnight."

She looked at him for a long time, and then nodded. "Okay."

_11:51. Damn. I thought that napkin thing was kinda smooth. Guess not._

"Wallace, there you are! I've been looking all over for you."

He looked up to see Mac, cheeks flushed and eyes bright, adjusting the strap on her dress. He grinned at her and shook his head. "You're not fooling anyone."

"What are you talking about?" she asked innocently.

"You're missing an earring," he informed her.

Mac's hand flew to her ear. "Oh shit, am I? My mom's gonna kill me."

"I'm sure you'll be able to find it, if you, uh, retrace your 'steps'," he laughed. He drank the rest of his champagne, and set the flute down on the coffee table. "So Veronica's definitely not coming, huh?"

"Um, that would be a big no. Her and Logan are, uh, 'catching up'."

Wallace made a face at her. "Right. Catching up. I _so_ don't need that visual." An image of them popped into his head anyway, as soon as he said it, and he shook his head vigorously.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mac asked.

"Etch-a-sketch. Gotta wipe that clean."

Mac burst out laughing. "Yeah, well, it's about freaking time they got back together. I can only take so much moping. And Logan and Veronica brood with the best of them." Casey came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her on the cheek. She twisted her head around and kissed him on the lips.

"I'd say get a room, but I know there are like eighty of them down the hall," Wallace said. He grinned at Mac. "And I wouldn't want you to lose another earring."

Mac blushed, but Casey just chuckled. He looked down at Wallace, nodding at his empty glass. "You need a refill. Here, let me get you one."

"No, I'm okay," Wallace said quickly. "I'll go get it myself." He got up off the couch and wandered over to one of the several makeshift bars Casey had set up for the party. The bartender topped him off with Cristal. Wallace started to head back to the couch; but at the last minute, he veered right and stepped out onto the deck instead. He loved Mac, and he thought Casey seemed like a decent guy… But he just couldn't stomach being around another happy couple right now.

_Mac and Casey, Veronica and Logan… everyone is pairing up. I wish Piz was here. He'd at least play a game of pool with me, or help me figure out a way to sneak into Casey's garage so we could check out his car collection. _He'd been dying to see it all night, but he was too embarrassed to ask. _Veronica would have figured out some covert ops way to get down there in two seconds flat. Too bad she's more interested in getting busy tonight. _

Wallace walked over to the railing of the deck, trying to shake himself out of his mood. It was a beautiful night, and the view from the deck was fantastic. He could see the lights of Neptune below him, and the ocean just beyond that. It looked too good to be real, like a backdrop for a movie set. _But it is real. And I don't have anyone to share it with._

Most of the time, he didn't mind being single. He liked dating around, not being tied to anyone. He hadn't been looking for anything serious, since he'd started school at Hearst- until Vanessa had come along. He'd fallen for her hard, and the breakup had been pretty tough. _Tougher than anyone knows- even Veronica._ He'd just starting to feel like himself again when he'd run into Jackie. Seeing her had brought up a whole new mess of emotions, stuff he thought he'd dealt with years ago.

_11:59. Well, that's that. Guess I'll go do a shot. Maybe I'll work up the nerve to break into that garage after all._

"Too bad this isn't a black tie event. You know I can't resist you in a tux."

Wallace spun around at the sound of her voice. Jackie stood just behind him, wearing a stunning gold dress and a sly smile. He looked at her, wondering if she were real, or just some figment of his imagination. But then he caught a whiff of her perfume on the breeze. _She's real._ Without a word, Wallace took two steps towards her and pulled her into his arms, kissing her fully on the lips.

Jackie returned the kiss, but she broke away after a few seconds and looked into his eyes. "It's just for tonight. Okay?"

"Tonight," Wallace agreed. The partygoers began to count down in the background, and his lips met hers.

"_Five…four…three…two…one…Happy New Year!" _

The sound of a loud boom came from overhead, and Wallace and Jackie broke apart and looked up. Gold and red fireworks exploded over their heads, reflecting in the pool below them. He glanced around him, realizing that a small crowd had gathered on the deck for the show. Mac and Casey were among them, kissing passionately in a dark corner.

Wallace shook his head and laughed. "Fireworks. Nice touch. Don't think I can compete with that."

"Oh yes you can," Jackie said softly. She pulled him towards her, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Happy New Year, Wallace," she whispered into his ear. And then she kissed him, and everything else faded away.

**xxXxx**

Logan

The next morning, Logan woke up to a very bright stream of sunlight directly in his face. He squinted angrily at the window, trying to figure out where he was. _Oh, right. My house. This is going to take some getting used to. And I really need to invest in blinds._ He looked down, realizing there was an arm draped across his waist. Logan remembered instantly whose arm it was, and he turned his head quickly to his right.

_Veronica. God, I can't believe she's really here._

He twisted his body carefully, so he was facing her. Logan lay still for a long time, watching her as she slept. It had always been one of his favorite things to do, on the rare mornings when she'd been able to stay the night. There was something about seeing this constantly active person at rest that had always made him smile. He watched the way her hair fluttered lightly as she exhaled, the way her lips twitched and her shoulders rose and fell.

Logan's eyes swept down her body, memorizing every curve, every freckle. Veronica shifted suddenly in her sleep. The blanket slipped off of her shoulder, revealing much more of her bare skin to him, and he felt his heartbeat speed up. He knew she'd never believe him if he told her, but nothing in the world turned him on as much as the sight of her naked body in his bed. _And I'm going to kiss every single inch of that body right now. _

It was another favorite pastime of his, kissing her awake. It was something he'd never had the desire or patience to do with anyone else. It took time and self-control, and sometimes the wait for her to wake up was painful; but it was always, always worth it. He started at the nape of her neck, and she woke up just as he'd reached her belly button.

She didn't say anything right away, just sighed happily and closed her eyes again. Logan ran his tongue along her hip bone and began kissing a trail down her stomach. As he started to kiss lower, he was rewarded with a moan and a barely coherent sentence.

"Logan…love you…"

He smiled into her thigh.

**xxXxx**

Veronica lay with her head on Logan's shoulder, running her fingers back and forth across his stomach. He closed his eyes and smiled, focusing on the feel of her hand, the scent of her hair. After a few minutes, she shifted and moved away from him slightly, looking up into his eyes.

"So I know you're not a breakfast guy," she began, "but I'm starving, and I need a coffee. I won't mention any names, but _someone_ kept me up all night and made me do very naughty things."

"Who is he? I'll kick his ass."

Veronica grinned and started to sit up. "As much as I don't want to leave, I think I'll run out and get something. Do you want a coffee?"

Logan pulled her back down onto the bed. "This is why phones were invented."

"Pretty sure that's not true."

"No, it's true. I just watched a documentary about Alexander Graham Bell. Apparently, he was a really lazy bastard. He came up with a ton of inventions so he didn't have to leave the house. Shocking stuff."

"Shocking, huh? Are you sure it wasn't a documentary about Thomas Edison?"

"Oh, the wit."

Veronica grinned. She sat back up, but made no move to get out of bed. Instead, she looked around the room slowly.

Logan sat up too, watching her. He brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "What are you thinking about?"

"That the only things in this room are a bed and a television."

"You _just_ realized that?" he laughed. He moved closer to her and kissed her on the cheek. "You haven't left the room in over twenty-four hours. Some detective you are."

She made a face at him. "Hey, I've been a little preoccupied."

He chuckled and looked around the room himself. "Well, what can I say, I have my priorities straight. I mean come on, I moved in two days ago. Ordered a bed and some sheets, a blanket. Couple of pillows. Got my cable hooked up. What else do I really need?" He paused, reconsidering. "Although, maybe I should put a couch in here too, just so we can mix things up a bit. And maybe, like, a dresser that's about-" he broke off and looked at Veronica, sizing her up, and then gestured with his hand, "-_this_ high."

"You know," Veronica said, "some people actually use dressers to store clothing in. And not just for sex."

"Well those people clearly have no imagination," he replied, running his fingers down her arm.

She laughed. "So when are you going furniture shopping? Or are you hiring someone."

"I dunno," he mumbled, kissing her neck. "Haven't thought about it."

"Not at all?"

He stopped kissing her and looked up. "Are we really talking about fucking furniture right now?"

Veronica grinned mischievously. "Yes, actually. That's _exactly_ the kind of furniture we're talking about."

"Well," he smirked. "That's the only kind of furniture _I'm _interested in." He sat up straight and looked around the room. "I mean, I don't need much else, do I?"

"So you're going the minimalist route, then? I guess that's better than the bachelor pad route. Neon bar signs, milk crates, posters of busty blondes thumbtacked to the walls." She pretended to shiver in horror.

Logan laughed. "I think you're confusing me with Dick." He shrugged and scooted closer to her again. "I really don't have too much stuff. I never bothered buying anything after the house burned down. I never really needed to, living at the hotel. I don't know, I sort of like that I don't have a bunch of old crap. It's a clean slate."

"Like us," she said softly.

"Exactly." Logan kissed the tip of her nose. "I did buy one thing I think is kinda cool, when I was in Africa. It's this wood carved mask. I was thinking about hanging it up on that wall." He pointed to his right, then laughed. "But it's sort of creepy looking, it might freak you out."

"Hey, it's your house. As long as it doesn't raise the dead, we're good."

"It's _our_ house," he corrected her, kissing her forehead. She smiled, and he continued. "Aside from that, I was sort of thinking…maybe you can just pick out what you like. As long as it's not pink."

"Do I strike you as a 'pink' person?" she retorted.

Logan grinned. "No. Not at all." He raised an eyebrow and pulled her into a deep kiss. "You're more black leather, these days."

"You wish," she laughed. Veronica kissed him back, playfully biting his lower lip. Then she glanced around the room. "Well, I could play designer, I guess. But I'm not sure you'll be able to afford my fee."

He lay back down on the bed and placed his hand on her knee, circling it with his fingers and then running it slowly up her thigh. "Try me."

"Are you sure? It'll cost you."

"I'm ready to negotiate. Let's see…" Logan glanced around the room, his expression thoughtful. "I need a couch, a dresser, and enough artsy shit to make me look like I have good taste."

"You do realize there are other rooms in this house _aside_ from this bedroom, right?"

Logan gave her a sly smile. "Well if things go according to plan, this is where we'll be spending most of our time. The other rooms are-" He waved his hand dismissively.

"Just for show?" Veronica laughed. She shook her head at him, but reached over and tousled his hair affectionately. "How many bedrooms are in this joint, anyway?"

"I think she said five? Maybe six?" Logan replied. He was distracted. Veronica was running her nails through his hair, down his neck, across his chest. _God, this woman still_ _has _no_ idea what she does to me._

Without warning, he grabbed onto her hips and pulled her down flat onto the bed. Then he swung one of his legs over her body, straddling her, and lifted himself up so he wouldn't crush her. He bent his head down and kissed her on the lips. "Feel like playing a little game of hide and seek? You can go explore, and then I'll come find you… Or we could just stay here while _I_ go exploring…"

Logan kissed her again, hard, and pressed her body closer to his. When she didn't respond, he pulled his head back and looked at her. Veronica's eyes were closed and she was smiling. _I'll take that as a yes. _

**xxXxx**

"I think I need a cigarette."

"You don't smoke."

"I know," Veronica replied, looking over at him. "Yes, you're _that_ good. You can wipe that little smirk off your face now."

Logan grinned but said nothing.

Veronica was also silent. When he glanced at her, he was surprised to see that she looked nervous. She was chewing on her lower lip and toying with the edge of the blanket. He waited for her to speak up; it was obvious she had something on her mind.

"And me?" she finally asked quietly, not looking at him. "How do I measure up?"

Her question took Logan by surprise. It had been a very long time since she'd voiced any insecurities about herself to him. They worked so well together, physically- they always had. He'd assumed that she'd left those old inhibitions and doubts of hers back in high school. _I mean we had sex in a fucking library. Does she think I do that with everyone?_

Logan made a quick decision to keep things light, in the hopes that she'd stop dwelling on it. It was a tactic that worked about 30% of the time. He turned towards her and stroked the side of her face. "You're amazing and you know it. Why do you think I call you Bobcat?"

Veronica remained silent, and he could tell it hadn't worked. Logan knew, then, what was really bothering her. _She's thinking about the women I've slept with since we broke up._ It wasn't the first time the subject had come up between them. It wasn't exactly a secret that he'd had far more sexual partners than she had.

Part of him loved to see this vulnerable side of her; loved that she needed to know that his being with her meant _more_ to him than being with anyone else did. But part of him wished he could go back and erase all of the pointless one night stands- all of the Ashlee's and Kendall's and Madison's- just so Veronica never had to worry about it again.

He leaned forward and put his mouth next to her ear. "You're a goddess," he whispered, running his hand down her body. "Perfect." He patted her lightly on her bottom, then squeezed it possessively. "Mine."

That got a little smile. He pulled her very close to him and looked into her eyes. "Veronica, being with you is like… nothing else in this world. And no one else even came close, or ever did," he told her honestly. "No one." Logan tightened his grip on her waist, and gently pushed her legs apart with his foot, so that he could slide his leg in between hers. "Look at how well we fit together."

Veronica smiled again. "We do," she agreed. "So… I was worth the wait?"

"Every. Single. Second."

She kissed him softly. "You're not too shabby yourself."

"Gee, thanks."

She laughed, but the expression on her face quickly became serious again. "It did bother me, you know."

"What did?"

"You and Kendall."

Logan looked at her in surprise. "Really?"

"Are you kidding? It drove me insane."

He knew it probably wasn't the right reaction, but her admission made him incredibly happy. He tried to hide his smile.

"Look," she continued. "I know you've been with a lot of women since we broke up-"

"Veronica," he said warningly.

"No, wait. Let me say this. I just want you to know that it bothers me."

"Fantastic," he replied with a sigh, rolling over onto his back.

"Just listen," she pleaded. She turned onto her side so she was facing him again. "It bothers me. But I swear I won't hold it against you, or ask you questions about it. Okay?"

Logan flipped back onto his side, looking into her eyes while he considered that. "I kind of like that it bothers you," he admitted. "It's proof that you care."

"I thought I already proved that over there," she joked, pointing to the edge of the bed. "And over there, and on the floor, and against that wall…"

He didn't laugh, just continued to stare at her intently. "Veronica, none of them meant a damn thing to me. I want you to tell me right now that you believe me, because it's the truth. And I don't want any misunderstandings between us." He stroked the side of her face with the backs of his fingers. "Everyone else pales in comparison to you."

"I don't know how they could get much paler than me, but okay," she laughed.

She seemed determined not to take him seriously; not to face the issue. Logan knew how uncomfortable this conversation was for Veronica, and he hated making things difficult for her. He'd let her change the subject a couple of times, already, when he'd realized that she was nervous about a particular topic. But Logan knew he had to remain firm on this point. "Tell me that you believe me," he repeated earnestly.

Veronica's smile faded. She didn't say anything for a long time, just looked from one of his eyes to the other. With every second that ticked by in silence, Logan started to get more and more concerned. Maybe she just couldn't move past the fact that he'd been with so many other women, while they'd been apart. _Or maybe she's still dwelling on Madison…_

"Okay," she said quietly. "I believe you."

Logan exhaled in relief; but he didn't relax completely. Because he'd realized something, while he'd been waiting for her to reply. _It's not fair for me to ask her to accept _my_ actions from the past, while I'm still struggling to accept hers._ _And I have to say this now, or it'll always be an issue._ He took a deep breath. "I guarantee you that it bothers me more that you were with someone who _did_ mean a damn to you."

He felt Veronica's entire body tense, and he knew instantly that this was a topic she wasn't ready to discuss yet. Truthfully, he didn't know if _he_ was ready to discuss it yet, either. Logan ran his fingers through her hair soothingly, trying to break through the walls he could feel her putting up. Piz was something they'd have to talk about, eventually. He had too many questions, too many concerns, to just let it lie. _But it can wait a little longer._

Logan leaned closer to her, kissing her forehead. "Come back to me."

"I'm right here," she said shortly.

"No, you're not."

Veronica hesitated, but eventually turned back towards him. "Logan, I'm just… I'm not sure there's anything I can say that won't make it worse."

Logan gave her an ironic smile. "I'm familiar with that feeling." He stared at the blank wall behind her for a moment, then looked back into her eyes. "Look, we don't have to talk about this right now, okay? Just know that I…I won't hold it against you, either," he promised. "Clean slate, remember? And this place- this place is just for us, no one else. That's how it's going to be from now on. No baggage."

Veronica nodded and took his hand. "I want that too. More than anything." She glanced around the room. "Everything is so perfect here, I'm… almost afraid to leave," she admitted. "I don't want anything to change, I just want it to be like this forever. When we leave this house…" She looked back up at him, her blue eyes dark with apprehension.

Logan pulled the blanket up around them both and drew her closer to him. Veronica nestled her head into his chest, while he moved his hand in slow circles across her back. "I can't promise you that things won't be tough sometimes. I can't promise you that there won't be times when we make each other angry, or accidentally hurt each other's feelings. But I can promise you that I'll never stop loving you. I'll _always_ be here for you. And I'll do everything that I can to make you happy."

When Veronica pulled away and looked up at him, there were unshed tears in her eyes. "I promise that too," she whispered. "Everything you just said. I'm so sorry for screwing everything up between us."

He swept the hair out of her face with the tips of his fingers. "None of that matters anymore. If anything, maybe I should thank you."

"For being a crazy, jealous lunatic?"

"Yes," he replied. "Maybe we needed to be apart. You needed to forgive me, and I needed to grow up a little bit. And you needed to figure out that I was the one for you."

"But how did you know that _I_ was the one for _you_?" she asked. "How are you so sure? I feel like I'm so screwed up, sometimes… what if you get sick of me- my jealousy, and my trust issues…"

"I sort of like that you get jealous," he admitted with a rueful grin.

"But what if you… get bored?" She gave him a look that made his heart melt, eyes big and blue and completely sincere; she still looked close to tears.

Logan looked into her eyes. "Veronica. I'll never get sick of you. And I will _never_ get bored of you."

"How are you so sure?"

"We couldn't be boring even if we tried." He kissed the top of her head and smiled. "Besides. Boring might actually be a nice change of pace."

Veronica still didn't look convinced. And despite his outer show of confidence, Logan was nervous. He knew how vastly important this conversation was to the future of their relationship. For the first time, Veronica was sharing all of her insecurities with him. If she thought for a second that he was lying to her, or holding back with her, she'd never feel comfortable opening up to him again. He knew that she was desperately looking for assurances from him that everything really would work out between them this time. And he desperately wanted to give them to her.

She blinked a few times and looked at him with a furrowed brow. "What if we're too young for this? Too young to be so serious? You could meet someone who-"

Logan quieted her with a kiss. He thought back to something he'd read in their Lit class a couple of months earlier, something that had made him think of her. "'It is as absurd to say that a man can't love one woman all the time as it is to say that a violinist needs several violins to play the same piece of music.'"

Her face relaxed into a smile. "That's beautiful," she said softly.

He grinned. "Well, I kind of borrowed it from Honoré de Balzac. I'm not _that _good."

"Yes," she said ardently, pulling him towards her. "You _are_."

**xxXxx**

After over twenty-four hours spent in the master suite, Veronica's curiosity about the rest of the house finally got the best of her. Logan was shocked that she'd obeyed his request not to leave for as long as she had. At Logan's insistence, their tour began with a thorough examination of the whirlpool.

"But I've already seen the whirlpool," she protested mildly, glancing at the door.

"Yes, but you haven't seen it _running_," he pointed out. "We should fill it with hot water and turn on the jets. I want to make sure I got my money's worth."

Veronica crossed her arms over her chest. "And then I suppose we should get inside, to test its durability?"

"Exactly."

"Later," she promised, laughing lightly. "C'mon." She took his hand and led him out of the bathroom. They journeyed into the hallway together. Veronica had borrowed another one of Logan's t-shirts, which came down almost to her knees; Logan wore just a pair of boxers.

He bent down to pick up an item off the floor, dangling it in front of Veronica with a grin. "I believe this belongs to you?"

Veronica blushed and made a grab for her bra, but he held it easily out of her reach. She rolled her eyes and gave up the fight rather quickly, allowing him to keep his spoils for the moment. She explored the bedrooms on the upper floor of the house with interest, looking around her in obvious approval. When they reached the top of the stairs, she turned to Logan with a grin. "I suppose if I follow the trail of clothing, it'll get me back to the front door?"

He laughed and bent down to kiss her. "Well, I didn't want you to get lost."

"So _that_ was your reason for removing all of my clothing," she teased. "I wondered." She reached down to pick up her jeans, which were in a ball at the top of the stairs. As they descended, she recovered Logan's inside-out shirt from the banister and her own t-shirt, which was inexplicably on top of a light fixture. Veronica glanced up at Logan. "You just know the pizza delivery guy was laughing his ass off when he left here yesterday."

Logan shrugged. "My house, my rules."

"Clothing optional?" she guessed.

"Clothing strictly _prohibited_, if your name is Veronica Mars," he corrected with a smirk.

"Well _that's_ going to be awkward when we throw parties."

"You'll get used to it."

She shook her head at him but laughed. They deposited the recovered clothing in a pile at the foot of the stairs before venturing from the foyer to the living room. Veronica stopped to study the enormous double-sided stone fireplace, which served to break up the spacious kitchen from the even more spacious living room. Logan watched her, as her eyes traveled up the fireplace to the vaulted wooden ceiling. "Wow," she remarked, her voice echoing slightly in the empty room.

"I know," he agreed. Logan knew they probably wouldn't get that much use out of the fireplace, but it was definitely one of his favorite things about the house. He was trying not to get ahead of himself, but he could so easily picture him and Veronica, sprawled on the couch at night with a bottle of wine and a blazing fire. Momentarily overcome with fervent hope for that future, Logan picked Veronica up easily, capturing her lips in a deep kiss. He was still amazed that they were both standing there, exploring their new house together.

Logan set her down gently, but Veronica didn't pull away from him. Instead she looked up at him with a big smile. "It really is incredible. Even better than I'd imagined."

He looked around him, nodding in agreement. "Just wait until you see the pool."

"I'm not talking about the house."

He glanced down in time to see her sly smile, just before she separated herself from him. As she skirted around him to get to the sliding glass doors of the patio, she smacked him on the ass affectionately. Logan grinned and followed her outside.

"Wow," she repeated.

He slid the door closed and stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist as they looked out at the ocean before them. The flagstone patio was in two levels; the upper level contained an infinity pool and a large hot tub. There was ample space surrounding the pool for patio furniture, which Logan made a mental note to get as soon as possible. He had a feeling that they'd be spending a lot of their time out there.

Logan inhaled deeply, breathing in the ocean air and relishing in the sheer amount of open space in front of him. _It puts my little balcony at the Grand to shame._ From their vantage point, they had an unobstructed view of both Crescent Beach below them, and the rocky cliffs that jutted out into the ocean at its southernmost point. It was extremely easy to imagine that they were the only two people on the planet. He leaned down and rested his chin against Veronica's shoulder, squeezing her tightly.

She twisted around in his arms and kissed him gently on the lips. "It's perfect," she said softly. "I love it."

Logan smiled proudly. He pulled away from her and pointed to his left. "The guest house is around the corner there. Far enough away that we won't have to worry about any sound-proofing. And wait until you see the downstairs part of the patio. There's a built-in grill and a bar, it's pretty sweet." He glanced around him in satisfaction. "This place is like the perfect party house, isn't it?"

"Does this mean you're gonna be throwing raging keggers every weekend?" she teased.

"Actually," he corrected her, "I was thinking of hosting much more… private parties on the weekends. Just me and one other guest."

"And who is this lucky guest?" she asked innocently, raising her eyebrow. "Dick?"

"Not quite." Logan pulled her back to him, sliding his hands below her shirt and lifting it up to her waist.

"Logan," she protested, pulling it back down.

"Yes?"

"We're outside. Someone could see."

He kissed her neck and laughed softly into her ear. "Who? There's not a soul in sight."

Veronica glanced around her slowly, and then looked back up at him with a thoughtful expression. "Hmm. I guess you're right." Without a word, she casually pulled her shirt off and tossed it to the ground.

Logan stared at her with his mouth open, shocked to suddenly find her standing completely naked before him in broad daylight. She walked past him and slowly started to descend the steps into the pool. After a few seconds, she paused and turned her head back towards him. "Well?" she asked impatiently, putting a hand to her hip. "What are you waiting for?"

He wasted no time stepping out of his boxer shorts and kicking them aside. He walked quickly into the pool and grasped her around the waist. "See?" he whispered, as he pressed his body against hers. "You'll _never_ bore me."

Veronica grinned but wriggled out of his grasp. "Let's see if you can still catch me," she challenged. "Maybe you'll get a prize." She descended the rest of the way into the pool and dove below the surface.

And Logan dove in after her, knowing he'd happily chase her for the rest of his life.

**xxXxx**

Feeling refreshed but languid after their aquatic adventures, Veronica and Logan once again found themselves lying in bed. Since there was no other furniture, it was the only place they could relax comfortably. When Veronica drifted off to sleep, Logan slipped out to get them each a coffee, and her a bagel. She was just waking up when he got back, and she greeted him with a sleepy smile.

Veronica sat up and accepted the coffee he offered her, as he kicked his shoes off and climbed back into bed next to her. He unwrapped the bagel and handed it to her, and she took a big bite and a sip of her coffee. "Mmm. You're the best."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

She rolled her eyes and took another bite of her bagel. "What time is it?"

"About eleven."

She sighed heavily. "I should probably get going soon."

"Are you kidding? I'm not letting you out of my sight for at _least _six months."

"Whatever you say, Jabba," Veronica laughed. "But seriously. I really need a change of clothes. And a toothbrush."

"What is this sudden obsession with wearing clothing?" he teased. "I thought you understood the house rules about that by now?" He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and stole a bite of her bagel. "And I can pick you up a toothbrush at the drug store."

She smiled and took a sip of coffee. "Believe me, I don't want to go anywhere. But it's Sunday. And we sort of do these family dinners on Sunday's… Anyway, I promised Alicia I'd pick up groceries for her. The doctor told her she needs to take it easy, but she doesn't seem to understand that concept."

Veronica glanced at Logan, who remained silent. She set her bagel down on its wrapper and took his hand. She squeezed it gently and he looked down at her. "I'd really like it if you came over for dinner tonight."

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I'm not so sure that's a good idea. Your dad is gonna freak out enough as it is, when he finds out that we're back together again."

Veronica's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Logan, I haven't been home in over twenty-four hours. The man is a private detective. I think it's safe to assume that he already knows." She nudged him in the side with her elbow. "Besides. I think he might surprise you."

Logan gave her a look of disbelief and started to make a sarcastic comment. But then he stopped, thinking back to the way Keith and Alicia had treated him at Thanksgiving. He glanced over at Veronica, clearing his throat a bit nervously. "I don't want to intrude on your family dinner."

She reached her hand out and touched his face, running her fingers down his cheek and cupping his chin. She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. "Logan, you _are_ family."

Logan swallowed hard, feeling a sudden lump in his throat. Unable to think of anything to say, he put an arm around her shoulder and drew her close to him, kissing her on the top of her head. "Okay," he agreed, his voice rough. "I'll be there." He tilted his head down to kiss her, but was distracted by the sound of her phone buzzing loudly against the hardwood floor. Veronica started to move away, but he wouldn't let her go. "Just leave it."

"I can't. It could be my dad."

He loosened his grip and she bent down to the floor to retrieve her phone. When he glanced over at her, he saw that she was frowning. "Can you turn on Channel 7?" she asked. Logan was curious about her request; but he'd followed far stranger instructions of hers over the years with much less explanation. So he grabbed the remote and turned on the television, flipping it to Channel 7.

The news was on. Various pictures of burning buildings flashed on the screen, with accompanying images of black body bags, and people huddled together crying on the streets. "This is why I never watch the news," Logan sighed. He picked up Veronica's bagel and took another bite.

But when he glanced at her, he was surprised to see that she was smiling. He looked back at the TV, paying more attention to the red banner that was flashing below the images. It read, "Breaking News: Over 20 arrests made in connection with recent terrorist activity…Members of local religious sect stand accused". Curious, he turned the volume up.

"_At this time, twenty-two people have been taken into custody and dozens more are being held for questioning. Amazingly, only _one_ of the individuals arrested appears to have any type of criminal record. That person is Richard Dodson, who was convicted three years ago in New Mexico on charges of distribution and possession of child pornography. The other twenty-one people who stand accused of these heinous acts of terrorism are, by all accounts, law-abiding citizens. One source tells us that, had it not been for an anonymous tip to the F.B.I, it could have been _years_ before these individuals were apprehended…"_

Logan looked over at Veronica with a wry smile. "Your doing?"

She glanced up at him, and he recognized the very familiar expression in her eyes. They were gleaming with the satisfied fulfillment of solving a case. Catching the bad guy. But she only shrugged, and took a small bite of her bagel. "I helped."

Logan shook his head. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"I'm not sure there's much left that you haven't already _done_ with me," she returned with a sly smile.

"Oh, I can think of one or two things," he disagreed, moving closer to her. But he could see that she was still distracted by the news coverage, and he stopped. "So are you gonna tell me how you were involved in this?"

When Veronica didn't answer him, Logan reached forward and quickly grabbed the phone from her lap. Before she could stop him, he opened up her last text. It was from a blocked number, and it simply said, "Channel 7". She took the phone back from him and made a face; but he was more interested than ever now, and he wasn't about to drop it. "Will you at least tell me _why_ you were involved?"

She sighed. "It's a little bit complicated. But it means that Duncan can come home soon."

"_Really_?" he asked incredulously. He glanced from Veronica to the television, and then back, trying to figure out how the two things could possibly be related.

"Really," she confirmed with a smile.

Logan studied her face carefully. "Did you… do this for him?" he asked. He was trying desperately to keep his voice level; but he couldn't help the surge of jealousy that had suddenly reared its head. Despite Duncan's recent and very adamant assurances that his feelings towards Veronica had changed, Logan knew that deep down, he'd always be just a little bit worried that Duncan would steal her away from him again.

Veronica looked at him sharply. "Logan… You can't _possibly_ think that I still have feelings like that for him."

He shrugged. Truthfully, he hated the idea that she'd ever been with _anyone_ else, cared for _anyone_ else. Logan knew those feelings were both irrational and unfair, and he knew it made him a complete hypocrite. But in many ways, her past with Duncan was even harder for him to stomach than her relationship with Piz. Because he loved Duncan like a brother. And part of him would always suspect that Duncan deserved Veronica more than he did.

Logan looked at her. He wanted to be honest with Veronica; it was only fair, after she'd admitted to being jealous about the other women he'd been with. _But if I tell her, and Duncan comes home… I don't want her to worry that I'm upset, every time we hang out together. I just want it to be the way it was in Mexico with the three of us. And I want her to know that I _do_ trust her. _He hesitated, trying to figure out a way to explain all of that so it made sense. Before he could say anything, though, he was distracted by an image of a man, woman and teenage girl that flashed on the television.

"…_like this couple, Paul and Patricia Watson, who moved to Neptune from nearby Depuma last summer. Paul has worked as an accountant for Grant and Lowe for over fifteen years, and Patricia teaches art classes at Pan Middle School. By all accounts, they _appeared_ to be a normal family. No one we spoke with had any _idea_ that they'd become involved with the so-called 'Church of the Blessed Savior'. A close friend of the family, who wishes to remain anonymous, told us that she'd attributed their recent absence from their usual church to the fact that they'd moved…"_

Logan stared at the photograph of Paul and Patricia, focusing on their smiling daughter. _Poor kid. Your life is never going to be the same._ He frowned, suddenly noticing the bright red streaks that ran through the girl's hair. "Hey, I know her!"

"Emily?" Veronica asked sharply. "How do you know Emily?"

"She spent the night at my place, about a month ago," he replied vaguely, trying to hear what the newscaster was saying.

"She _what_?"

Logan turned quickly to see that Veronica was glaring at him. She moved abruptly towards the edge of the bed. He reached over and grabbed her around the waist before she could get up. "Let me go," she demanded.

"No," he refused, tightening his grip. He turned her head towards him, forcing her to face him. "Veronica, stop. She crashed on my couch, okay? Nothing happened." She didn't say anything; but her whole body was tense, and he could still feel her trying to resist his grasp. "Dick hooked up with her friend. I didn't even know she was there until the morning." Logan sighed. "You have to stop jumping to the wrong conclusions. I thought you trusted me?"

She relaxed slightly and looked into his eyes, but she was still frowning. "I do trust you. But in your case, I don't need to jump," she replied petulantly. "A small hop, maybe, or a tiny step."

Logan stared at her. She had a point. And he couldn't very well give her a hard time about her jealousy issues when he'd _just_ been worrying over her relationship with Duncan. The fact of the matter was, he could tell her over and over that she was the only woman he'd ever give a damn about; and she could tell him again and again that he was the only man for her. _But sometimes, words aren't enough._

He reached for the remote and turned the television off. And then he pulled Veronica close to him, kissing her until he could feel the tension leave her body. _So we'll just have to keep proving it to each other, until it sinks in for good._

**xxXxx**

Mac

"Wake up, darlin."

"Mmm."

"There's coffee. And toast."

"Mmm-hmm."

"And an egg white omelet, with spinach and cheese and mushrooms."

"Hmmm?" Mac opened one eye, to see Casey holding a tray of food out in front of him. She opened the other eye and smiled up at him sleepily. "Breakfast in bed? That's so sweet."

Casey waited for her to sit up, and then he set the tray down carefully in her lap. "Well I have to come clean. I didn't make it." He grinned and slid into bed next to her. "But I oversaw its creation _very_ carefully."

Mac looked at him in some confusion, stifling a yawn. "Where's yours?"

"I ate awhile ago. It's almost noon." Casey gestured to the food. "But I know you can't stomach anything but breakfast when you wake up, no matter _what_ time it is, so..."

"Thanks," Mac said gratefully, taking a small bite of toast. "But why'd you let me sleep so late?"

He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "You looked so comfortable. I didn't want to wake you."

"Well is it still New Year's Day, at least, or did I sleep right through that?"

Casey laughed. "No, it's still New Year's."

"What day of the week is it, anyway?" Mac asked. She portioned off a piece of omelet with her fork and took a bite. "Oh my _god_ this is good." She glanced at Casey. "How are you not, like, 300 pounds? If I had a personal chef I'd be demanding cheese fries at 3 am."

Casey laughed again. "You haven't met Marcus yet. First of all, if I ever tried waking him up at 3 am, he'd break my arm. Second, if I ever asked for something as unhealthy as cheese fries, well… he'd break my other arm."

Mac was intrigued. "But doesn't _he_ work for _you_?"

"You try telling him that."

"Hmm, 09er-ville really _is_ Bizarro World. Just as I've always suspected." Mac took another bite of omelet and washed it down with a sip of coffee, which was also delicious and exactly the way she liked it. _I could get used to this._ She looked over at Casey. "So you didn't answer my question. What day is it?"

"Sunday."

"So you have to go back to work again tomorrow, huh?" she asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

"Nope." Casey grinned at her, stealing a kiss. "I took the week off so I could spend some time with you."

"You did?" she said softly. Mac knew how demanding his job was; the fact that he was taking an entire week off to be with her was an incredibly sweet gesture. "Now I just have to figure out what excuses to give my parents all week. I already played the 'crashing at Veronica's house' card last night." She sighed. "I need more female friends."

Casey frowned. "I wish you didn't have to lie to them."

"I know," Mac replied. "Me too."

"Have you… thought any more about what I asked you? About moving in here?"

"Are you kidding? I think about it all the time. But…" Mac reached out and squeezed his arm. "I still think we should wait. Is that okay?"

"Of course," Casey replied. "Just know that… Well, when you're ready…" He hesitated, seeming uncharacteristically at a loss for words. He placed his hand on top of Mac's and looked into her eyes. "I just want you to know that I want you in my life. I don't want any… confusion about that. I know, in the past, you've been in relationships with people who were… well, less than straightforward."

Mac stared at him, feeling instantly alert and on edge. _Less than straightforward, Casey? Well, that's one way to put it. Another way would be to say that my most _infamous_ ex was a sociopathic, mass-murdering rapist._ _But neither one of us likes to think about that, do we?_

She and Casey hadn't spoken about Cassidy much at all, and that was just fine with her. Casey seemed to understand that the topic still made her very uncomfortable. _So why is he bringing this up now?_ Mac looked down at her food; she'd suddenly lost her appetite. She put her fork down, and gently pulled her hand out from underneath his. Then she lifted up the breakfast tray and set it on the bedside table.

Casey watched her, his face very serious. After a moment, he reached out for her hand again, and she let him take it. "Listen," he began. "I'm not trying to upset you, okay? I just want you to know that I'm not into playing games. I've been- involved with manipulative people too, and…"

Mac glanced up at him curiously when he trailed off. It occurred to her that Casey hadn't spoken much about _his_ past relationships, either. She knew he'd dated Darcy King for awhile back in high school, and he'd mentioned someone named Kim from NYU. He'd talked about a "Holly" enough times for Mac to ask about her; and she'd been surprised to learn that he'd been referring to Miss Mills. But he'd assured her that she was just a good friend. Looking at him now, she noticed that he seemed a bit uncomfortable; somehow, that made her more relaxed. She squeezed his hand. "I'm not into playing games either."

He nodded, smiling slightly. "I know you're not. That's one of the things I love about you." Casey cleared his throat, looking flustered. "I mean…"

Mac grinned. She loved when his composure slipped; it didn't happen often. When it did, it always reminded her that despite his multi-million dollar businessman exterior, he was still just a twenty-one year old guy underneath it all. _Just Casey._ "One of the things you _love_, huh?" she teased. "What are some of the other things you _love_?"

Casey stared at her for a moment, as he ran his thumb across the back of her hand. "_You_," he answered finally. "I love you."

Mac felt her jaw dropping open in surprise, her eyes widening. She felt simultaneously surprised, scared and insanely happy. "No one's ever said that to me before," she said quietly. "I mean, like, family and friends, but-" she broke off abruptly, suddenly realizing that while she was babbling, Casey was still waiting for a proper response. She smiled widely up at him. "I love you, too."

He exhaled, smiled, and reached out for her at the same time, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him. "You almost gave me a heart attack," he laughed softly into her ear. Casey tangled both of his hands in her hair and kissed her deeply on the lips. "How did I get so lucky?" he whispered.

Mac closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his, savoring the moment. "I was just wondering the same thing."

Casey put an arm around her shoulder and kissed her on the temple, and she rested her head against his chest. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until he reminded her that her breakfast was getting cold. She lifted the tray back into her lap and resumed eating. When she was finished, she moved back over to Casey and snuggled close to him. "I think this is the longest I've ever gone without going on my computer."

He laughed softly. "I noticed. I'm not sure how the internet is surviving without you."

"I probably have, like, two hundred emails," she sighed.

"Do you want me to go grab your laptop?" he offered. "It's down in my office."

"Nope. I just want to hang out with you." Mac smiled at him, but Casey was looking back at her with both eyebrows raised. "What?" she laughed. "You don't believe me?"

"You're not even just a _little_ curious about what's going on in the outside world?" he teased.

"Well," she reconsidered. "Maybe we should throw the TV on for a minute. Just to make sure the zombie apocalypse didn't come while we were sleeping."

Casey chuckled softly and turned on the television. He flipped through the channels a few times, but every station seemed to be covering the same news story. "No zombies yet," he joked. "But the day is still young."

Mac didn't respond. She watched as pictures of burning mosques and temples flashed across the screen, and she was curious about what was going on. She'd been following the coverage of the recent acts of arson in the area. But what she didn't understand was why the stationary graphic at the bottom of the screen said "_Neptune's Curse"_. Mac read the banner that scrolled below it:

_Members of local religious sect "Church of the Blessed Savior" accused in rash of arsons…Terrorist acts targeting places of worship have resulted in 28 deaths and 52 injuries… Accused sect described as "cult-like" by investigators… Members reportedly believed that their leader, Stewart Manning, was a prophet sent from God… He instructed them to "eradicate all heathens and purify the earth, to make way for God's final descent from heaven"… _

"Can you turn this up?" she asked quickly. The screen changed to show a female reporter with wavy dark hair. She stood in front of a non-descript white house with a manicured lawn, speaking into a microphone. Casey turned the volume up on the television.

"…_we've since learned that Dodson has violated the terms of his parole, both by leaving the state of New Mexico without informing the Parole Board, and by not registering as a convicted sex offender in the state of California. _

_There is no word yet on what, if any, contact Dodson had with Grace Manning, Stewart and Rose Manning's nine year old daughter. But we _have_ gotten confirmation that a close relative has been granted temporary custody of little Grace. _

_As we reported earlier, Grace's oldest sister, Megan Manning, was one of the passengers on the Neptune High school bus that crashed into the Pacific Ocean over two years ago. Megan survived the initial crash, but eventually succumbed to her injuries and died several months later…"_

An image of Meg flashed on the screen. "Holy shit," Mac said aloud. She glanced at Casey, who was also staring wide-eyed at the screen.

"…_the father of the baby was none other than Duncan Kane, son of software pioneer Jake Kane. Their child, Hope Manning, disappeared nearly two years ago; the Manning family pressed charges against Duncan Kane for kidnapping. There have been no leads in the case, but with the new information that's come to light on the Manning family, there is speculation that those charges may be dropped by the FBI…" _

The reporter gestured to the house behind her.

"… _and as more details of this story unfold, it seems almost unbelievable that this quaint neighborhood could play host to so much violence and intrigue. Duncan Kane, whose family used to reside just blocks away from here, was, of course, the brother of Lilly Kane, who was brutally murdered over four years ago. _

_Although the murder of Lilly Kane remains officially unsolved, many believe that the late actor Aaron Echolls- although found not-guilty by a jury- was responsible for the crime. Echolls was found dead in his hotel room just days after his acquittal, and an arrest has yet to be made in connection with his death. Some believe that he committed suicide, overcome by guilt over what he'd done. Forensic evidence was inconclusive…"_

A photograph of Aaron, Lynn, Trina and Logan, the same photo they'd used on the _Tinseltown_ _Diaries_, popped onto the screen. Mac hoped Logan wasn't watching. But the picture changed rapidly to another one, of Meg in her cheerleader uniform.

"… _and the town of Neptune, despite the vast wealth of many of its resident's, seems to have an unusually high instance of violent crime. In fact, the more we begin to piece this story together, the more tangled the web becomes. Is this town, in fact, cursed? This is Rachel Santana, reporting live for Action 5 News. Back to you, George." _

A thirty-something man in a brown suit smiled grimly into the camera. _"It does seem like they've had quite a string of bad luck there in Neptune, doesn't it Rachel?"_

Mac and Casey stared at each other. "Wow. Meg's parents are murderers?" Mac asked, dumbfounded. "That's just…" Mac sighed. "I used to think she had the perfect life, you know? Beautiful, smart, popular _and_ nice? I should have known it was all too good to be true."

Casey shook his head. "I always thought her parents were a little weird. But _this_? I never thought they were capable of something like this."

"Yeah," Mac replied quietly. "I guess it's always the nice ones who you have to watch out for."

Almost on cue, a photograph of Beaver flashed on the screen. He was standing next to Dick, who had his arm slung across his little brother's shoulder. They were both grinning widely into the camera.

"…_having been rigged with explosives by fellow student, Cassidy Casablancas. Eight people were killed in the crash. He was also responsible for planting explosives on an airplane traveling from Reno to Neptune. All six passengers on the plane were killed, including the mayor of Neptune, Woody Goodman…"_

Casey grabbed the remote and quickly shut the television off. He wrapped both of his arms around Mac, pulling her tightly to him. "You don't need to re-live that," he said softly. He kissed her on top of her head, and she sighed into his chest.

They were silent for a moment, and then Mac looked up at him. "Were you and Meg good friends?"

"No, not really. I mean I always liked her; _everyone_ liked her. But- no, we weren't good friends."

"Have you ever lost anyone… close to you?" she asked. Mac saw the pain flash across his eyes, and she felt instantly regretful. "I'm sorry. You've told me about your grandmother..."

"Yeah," he said quietly. Casey moved away from her slightly, suddenly becoming interested in the pattern on the comforter. "And then there was Lilly."

She looked at him in surprise. "Oh. I didn't realize you guys were close."

"No one did," he said, still looking down. Casey took a deep breath and turned towards her, studying her carefully for a moment. "Mac, there's something I want to tell you. But it's not something I'd want you to tell anyone else, especially Veronica or Logan. If that's too much of a burden for you, I understand."

Mac felt suddenly anxious; but she was far too curious not to hear what he had to say. "I can keep a secret," she promised.

Casey nodded. "Okay." He ran his hand through his hair a couple of times, and she could tell that this secret of his was making him very nervous. He glanced over at her. "Lilly was the first person who I ever slept with."

"Oh." _Well, _that_ wasn't what I expected._

He continued in a rush. "We were in the same grade, and we had a bunch of classes together. And she used to flirt with me constantly. I don't know how well you knew her, or if you remember the way she was … I mean, I should have known better, I knew she flirted with everyone… But, well, I sort of got a crush on her anyway. She was off limits, though, like _seriously_ off limits. She was Logan's, you know?

Casey cleared his throat. "Anyway, when we were sophomores, she and Logan broke up. Which wasn't strange, they broke up a lot. But that time seemed different. It had been almost a month, and they still hadn't gotten back together yet. So one night, we were at this party. Logan was hanging around this girl, Rebecca Mason, all night. Lilly was pretty pissed. Rebecca was a senior, and really popular, and Logan was only a freshman.

"I went upstairs to use the bathroom," he said slowly, his expression far away. "When I was on my way back, I ran into Lilly in the hallway. I said hello, and started to move past her. But the next thing I knew, she was pulling me into one of the upstairs bedrooms." Casey cleared his throat again, glancing up at Mac briefly.

"On Monday morning, I was all excited to see her. I got to school and headed over to her locker right away. But when I saw her… she was walking down the hall, hand in hand with Logan. She didn't even look at me. I know I should have known better, but…" He shrugged, then continued his story. "When I saw her in our Spanish class, later that day, she flirted with me like always… But neither one of us brought it up. I started wondering if it had just been a dream.

"But a couple of months later, Lilly and Logan broke up again. And I got a phone call at midnight…" He glanced at Mac, who was listening with rapt attention. "So that's how it was for awhile. Until this one day, when I knew they'd broken up, and I was waiting for her call. But it never came." Casey gave Mac a wry smile. "She'd found someone else, I guess. To this day, I have no idea why she stopped calling. Or what I meant to her.

"When she died…" He shook his head. "I'd shared this thing with her that no one else even knew about. _I'd_ never told anyone, and I seriously doubted that she had, either. So when she died, it was sort of like that was gone forever. You're the first person I've ever told." Casey looked back up at Mac, his eyes serious. "Don't get me wrong, it wasn't love or anything like that. Despite their crazy relationship, Lilly really did love Logan." His voice got very quiet. "But I did miss her."

Mac stared back at him, unsure what to say. Part of her was surprised by what he'd just confessed, but part of her thought that it made perfect sense. Casey was so different now than he'd been when he was younger. She knew part of that had come from getting older, maturing. But part of it had come from experiencing real loss; recognizing that life is not a shallow stream, but a deep well. "Is that when you met up with the Moo Cow people?" she asked softly.

Casey burst into laughter, and Mac was taken aback. He kissed her on the lips and gave her a tight hug. "Why are you so awesome?"

"What?" she asked. "I was being serious."

"It was Moon Calf, not Moo Cow," he told her, still grinning.

"Oh, whatever," she grumbled. "It's a stupid name either way."

"It is," he agreed. "But they're really great people, and I still keep in touch with a lot of them. I'd actually like you to meet them, one of these days."

Mac was skeptical. "Veronica said they were a cult."

He rolled his eyes. "They're not a cult. They grow organic vegetables and poinsettias, and they play acoustic guitars and harmonicas around campfires."

"So they're…hippies?"

"Basically."

Mac glanced at the 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets beneath her, the 52" flat screen TV on the wall, and the Bruno Magli shoes Casey had kicked off next to the bed last night. She looked back up at him with a doubtful expression. "I can't picture you hanging out with a bunch of hippies."

He laughed softly. "What, are you saying I'm shallow because I like nice things?"

"Shallow? No. _Discerning_, maybe."

Casey's smiled faded, and he shook his head. "It's just stuff. It really doesn't matter to me. _You_ matter to me. If all of this went away…" His eyes shifted downward again. "At Lilly's funeral, it was just so… These girls who I _know_ hated her, who talked about her behind her back constantly, were standing there in their Prada dresses, fake crying into their tissues. It was just so _false_.

"The people who _really_ loved her, like Veronica and Logan, they weren't crying. They just stood there, watching in silence as Lilly's coffin was lowered into the ground. When the service was over, and everyone left, I looked back at them. And they were alone together, holding on to each other, finally crying…completely devastated. After that day, I started wondering what was real and what was bullshit; what really mattered and what didn't. I started writing, and met Holly, and then I met those guys at the farm…" He looked back up at Mac. "I just… I really hope you don't think I'm shallow."

Mac took his face in her hands, and kissed him gently on the lips. "I don't. Not at all." When she pulled away, she continued to look at him. _It's amazing that anyone got out of Neptune High alive. And those of us who did are all so…scarred._ Back in high school, she'd never thought that people like Casey, Dick, Madison or Logan ever had any problems_. But that's so narrow-minded. Beauty, wealth, privilege… it doesn't make people immune to pain._

"Good," Casey said, exhaling. "You know, I never thought I'd get to actually meet you. I wondered about you for so long, what you were like-"

"But why?" Mac interrupted him. "Why did you even notice me at all? I wasn't exactly Miss Popular, in high school." This was something they'd never talked about before, and she'd always been curious.

"I'm not sure…" he replied, looking thoughtful. "I think I just liked the way you walked down the hallway listening to your iPod, not caring what people were gossiping about. And you wore those ironic t-shirts, and typed really fast on your laptop at lunch. You were just…different. Unique. I knew that if _you_ cried at a funeral, it would be because you were really sad. Not because it was what you were supposed to do. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," she said quietly. "I think it does."

"And when I got to know you, you were exactly how I thought you'd be. Do you know how rare that is?" Casey smiled at her a bit shyly. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to tell you that I loved you?"

"Well, what were you waiting for?" she teased.

"I didn't want to freak you out," he admitted.

"You thought I'd freak out?"

"Honestly… I feel like I'm always holding back with you, just a little bit. I don't want you to think I'm being too intense. I don't want to scare you off."

"Really?" Mac replied. She was surprised to hear that she'd been coming off so guarded. She always felt relaxed and comfortable around Casey. _But maybe he's right. Maybe I am holding back a little._

"Well, I know it took you by surprise when I asked you to move in. But Mac, I've never met anyone like you before. You've made me the happiest I've ever been, these last few months."

Mac smiled. "You make me happy too. I'm sorry if I'm too… reserved."

"Don't be," he said quietly. "It's okay to be cautious. To be completely honest, _I'm _usually the cautious one. There have been so many girls who said they liked me, but what they really liked was my bank account. It's hard to figure out who to trust. But with you, I never worried."

"Are you kidding? I'm _totally_ using you for your money." She grinned and kissed him on the cheek.

He smiled back, but looked at her intently. "Look, I respect the fact that you're not ready to move in together yet, and I promise I won't push. You're probably right, it's too soon. I just hate that we're always so busy. Sometimes we go a whole week without seeing each other."

"I hate that too. I missed you so much, when you were in New York."

"Really?" he asked.

"Of course," she replied, looking at him in surprise. _Didn't I tell him that?_ She watched his eyes lighten from brown to hazel in front of her, the way they did when he was happy. And she realized that it was time to stop analyzing her relationship to death and just go with it. _I need to be more open with him. He's not Cassidy. Not even close._

She looked around her, trying to imagine what it would be like to live there one day. The weird thing was, she found it very easy to picture. Even stranger, the thought didn't make her want to run screaming from the room. Mac leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "Happy New Year, Casey."

The expression in his eyes changed again, his pupils becoming dilated and focused. And the next thing she knew, they were tangled up together underneath the softest set of sheets money could buy.

**xxXxx**

Logan

A week later, Logan and Veronica strolled leisurely down the stretch of Crescent Beach in front of his house. He was already beginning to think of it as an extension of his front yard, and he got just a little bit annoyed when there were other people around. He was glaring at a jogger who was headed in their direction when he felt a smack on his arm. Veronica was looking up at him with a smirk on her face.

"It's a public beach," she reminded him. "You're not allowed to kick anyone out."

"Okay, how the hell did you know what I was thinking?" he demanded.

"There's a specific look of disdain that you reserve for people who you deem unworthy of breathing the same air as you," Veronica informed him with a grin. She nodded in the direction of the disappearing jogger. "You just gave _him_ that look."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "What if I was just attempting to scare him away, so I could get you alone and have my way with you?"

She laughed. "Oh, no,_ that_ look is completely different. And it's usually accompanied by groping, kissing, and frantic attempts at clothing removal."

Logan stopped walking and pulled her close to him, kissing her deeply. He ran his hands down her back and quickly snuck one of them up the front of her shirt. "Like this, you mean?"

Veronica smacked his arm again and stepped away, but she was laughing. "Behave yourself. Remember what I just said about this being a public beach?"

"Mmm-hmm." Logan pointed to his left. "And _that_ is a very private house, which I just happen to have the keys to right in my pocket."

"We're supposed to meet Mac, remember?" Veronica replied. She crossed her arms. "See, this is why everyone keeps accusing us of being anti-social."

Logan rolled his eyes and groaned, but he allowed her to pull him forward. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Mac, or any of his other friends. _It's just that every second spent with other people is another second that I'm not alone with Veronica. And all I can seem to think about, these days, is her naked body in my arms._ He kept silent, though, and dutifully followed her up the beach.

"You're coming to dinner tonight, right?" she asked, linking her arm in his.

"Uh, sure. As long as you guys aren't sick of me yet," Logan agreed tentatively. Things had gone surprisingly well at dinner the previous weekend. Veronica had made no effort at all to keep their renewed relationship a secret from Keith, and her father had seemed to take it in stride. Alicia, Wallace and Darrell had all seemed happy to have him there. _But I don't want to wear out my welcome._

Veronica gave him a very sweet smile, batting her eyelashes up at him. "I'll never get sick of you, Sugarpop. As long as you continue to earn your keep." Her smile turned mischievous, and Logan drew her to him for another kiss.

"I haven't heard any complaints so far," he returned. He pressed her even closer to him and kissed the hollow of her throat.

"Ugh, get a room!"

Logan didn't look up, continuing to place kisses up Veronica's neck until he got back to her lips. He took his time kissing her before he finally replied. "That's what I just suggested. But I was vetoed." Logan glanced up at Mac, who was standing in front of them and rolling her eyes. He was surprised to find that she wasn't alone. A girl who looked to be a little older than Heather stood next to her. She had dark brown hair, and she was watching them with interest. Logan broke away from Veronica and cleared his throat.

"Hey, Mac," Veronica said. "Sorry about that, he's…"

"Amazing?" Logan suggested. "Spectacular?"

"I was thinking 'impossible'," Veronica retorted, looking at him fondly.

Mac ignored them. "Guys, this is my sister Lauren." She looked down at the young brunette. "These are two of my best friends, Veronica and Logan."

"Nice to meet you, Lauren," Veronica said. "Please excuse my boyfriend. He was raised by a band of gorillas in the Congo. He's still learning how to interact properly with other humans."

"Nice to meet you," Lauren replied politely, although she wore a confused smile.

Mac laughed. "Don't listen to a word _either _of them say," she advised.

"You're one to talk. So are you ladies hungry?" Logan asked. "You want to grab some lunch? My treat."

"Sure," Mac agreed. She glanced down at Lauren. "Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, okay," Lauren replied. "I just have to make sure I get home pretty soon so I can study. Mr. Stone's tests are a _nightmare_."

Logan and Veronica glanced at each other. "Mr. Stone?" Veronica repeated casually.

"Yeah, he's my History teacher. And it's not exactly my best subject."

"Do you… happen to know what his first name is?" Veronica questioned.

"Umm… I think it's Charles. Or Christopher. Something with a 'Ch'."

"What school do you go to?" Logan asked quickly. Mac looked from him to Veronica curiously, recognizing the unusual amount of interest they had in the subject.

"Neptune High," Lauren answered.

"She skipped a grade," Mac spoke up. She frowned at Veronica, lowering her voice slightly. "Is he someone… not good?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that," Veronica replied dismissively. "C'mon, let's go to lunch. We don't want to keep Lauren from her studies."

The four of them headed down the beach, Mac and Lauren walking just slightly ahead. After a moment, Veronica reached out and put her hand on Logan's arm. She was looking at him in concern. "Are you alright?" she asked softly.

Logan nodded slowly. "Yeah." He stopped walking abruptly, and Veronica followed suit. "I mean, how does this change anything? I told you what happened when I saw him at Amy's. He still wants nothing to do with me. I can't… _force_ him to talk to me."

"No," Veronica agreed. "You can't. But sometimes, people need a little push. What would have happened if you'd given up on me?"

He didn't say anything, just took her hand in his and followed Mac and Lauren down the beach. But he continued to think about what she'd said for the rest of the day.

**xxXxx**

"Wow. Everything looks so _small_."

Veronica rolled her eyes.

"What?" Logan asked. "Isn't that what people always say?"

"That's for when you go back to elementary school," Veronica corrected, continuing down the hall. "Not high school."

"Hmm." Logan caught her around the waist from behind, kissing her on the cheek. "Well I guess, to someone tiny like you, everything always looked pretty big here."

Veronica turned in his arms to face him, a suggestive smile on her lips. "Well… _some_ things still look big."

"Is that so…?" Logan whispered in her ear. He was about to attempt to drag her into the nearby supply closet when a familiar voice interrupted them.

"Mr. Echolls. Miss Mars. I thought I'd finally gotten both of you out of my hair for good."

Logan glanced up to see Principal Clemmons studying them with amusement, arms crossed. Veronica pulled away from Logan and smiled up at their former principal. "Well, on the bright side, at least you still _have_ hair," she quipped.

He grimaced at her pun. "I see you haven't changed." His expression suddenly became speculative. "Actually, Miss Mars, while you're here… There's a little matter that's been giving me some trouble. Do you mind joining me in my office for a moment?"

Veronica glanced at Logan, and he could already tell that she was intrigued. "It's okay," he told her. "Go. I'm just going to go hang up these posters." He waved the flyers in his hand at Principal Clemmons. "With your approval, of course."

Mr. Clemmons took one from him and studied it for a moment. He glanced back at Logan with curiosity, and something like grudging respect. "Of course, be my guest. Maybe we can discuss this further, after Miss Mars and I talk about this… other matter."

Logan nodded. Veronica kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hand. "Good luck," she whispered. Then she headed down the hall with Mr. Clemmons.

He walked down the hallway towards the bulletin board in front of the teacher's lounge. Logan really was there to hang posters, but he had another purpose too. _And I'm stalling_. Veronica had done the required legwork, discovering that his brother Charlie did indeed work at Neptune High. She'd found out that he taught four classes a day, but had a break between 12:15 and 1, which he normally spent eating lunch in his empty classroom. The plan was for Logan to approach him in that classroom, when they knew he'd be alone.

But now that he was really there, he was having serious doubts. _What the hell am I even doing here? Why would he care what I have to say? And why should _I_ give a damn what he thinks about me, anyway?_ Logan stared at the posters in his hands, realizing that he'd forgotten thumbtacks. He looked up at the bulletin board, removing a poster for cheerleading tryouts and one for a football team bake sale, and replacing them with his own flyers.

The door to the teacher's lounge opened, and Logan quickly crumpled up the old posters and tossed them into the nearby trashcan. He was about to continue down the hall, when he noticed that one of the people coming out of the room was his brother. Charlie stopped short and stared at him. The woman next to him looked at him in confusion.

"Charlie? Aren't you coming?"

"I'll be there in a minute, Gina."

She nodded and headed down the hallway. Charlie continued staring at Logan. He looked down at the remaining posters in his hand, and Logan could tell that he was reading one of them. After a moment, Charlie cleared his throat. "I've heard of Invisible Children. It's a good organization. I didn't know you were involved."

For some reason, Logan felt instantly defensive and angry. And he knew that his carefully composed speech was already swirling down the drain, never to be used. "Why would you?" he retorted. "You don't know anything about me."

He regretted it at once, of course. He always did. But instead of turning and walking away, Charlie surprised him by nodding thoughtfully. "You're right. I don't."

Logan wasn't sure how to respond, and the two young men stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. Logan took a deep breath, opting for brutal honesty. "Look. I'm sorry about the whole Larry King thing. It was a misunderstanding, and I would have explained all of that to you if you'd ever bothered to call me back."

Charlie cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you have any idea what that 'whole Larry King thing' did to me and my family? I had to leave my job. We had to move. We couldn't leave our house without getting accosted by paparazzi. I got death threats."

"Gee, I wonder what _that's_ like," Logan said dryly. He saw the flash of anger in Charlie's eyes, and he quickly changed tactics. "I'm _sorry_," he repeated earnestly. "Okay? It was stupid, and thoughtless, and I'm sorry that I put you and your family through that." He wanted to explain about the _Vanity Fair_ reporter, so that his actions would make more sense; but he didn't know if it even mattered anymore.

Charlie sighed. "And did you ever think that maybe I _was_ planning on calling you back? That maybe I was just trying to figure out what to say to the little brother I'd never met?"

Logan was taken aback. "No," he replied honestly. "I never thought that." He ran his hand through his hair. "Listen, I know what people say about me. Some of it is completely true; but a lot of it is bullshit. And the only way you're ever going to be able to tell fact from fiction is if you actually get to know me. I mean, here we are living in the same _town_, and you-"

He broke off abruptly, trying not to let his frustration get the better of him. "I'm not going to beg," he continued in a calmer voice. "But honestly? I think it's pretty fucked up that you're not even willing to give me a chance." Logan looked him in the eye. "Like it or not, we _are_ brothers." He pulled a pen out of his pocket and turned one of the flyers over, leaning it against the bulletin board and scrawling his number across it. Then he held it out to Charlie. "This is my number, if you want it."

Charlie didn't take the piece of paper, and Logan felt a knot in his stomach. But then his brother gave him a rueful smile. "I, uh, still have it saved on my phone," he admitted.

Logan nodded, trying to hide his surprise. "Well maybe you should call it, one of these days," he said quietly. He heard footsteps behind him and turned to see Veronica and Mr. Clemmons walking towards them. Veronica was glancing between him and his brother with a questioning look. Logan turned back to Charlie. _I said what I wanted to say. It's in his hands now._

"Well, pardon me, but I have business to attend to," Logan said, gesturing to his flyers.

Charlie nodded, looking thoughtful, and slowly began walking down the hall. Logan watched him go. His brother greeted Mr. Clemmons politely and gave Veronica a look of interest. Just after Charlie had moved past them, Logan caught his eyes flickering down to Veronica's skirt appreciatively. Logan chuckled to himself. _Yup. He's an Echolls, all right._

Logan looked from his brother to his former principal, flashing him a wide smile. "So Van, buddy, we didn't get to catch up earlier. How's tricks?"

"That's still Mr. Clemmons to you, Logan, but nice try," he replied dryly. "Veronica was just telling me about this program you're involved in. I have to say, I'm impressed. Care to join me for lunch in the cafeteria?"

"Well, that depends. Which lunch ladies are working the counter today?" Logan glanced down at Veronica, who was hiding a smile as she shook her head. "And do you think we can scare up another hair net? Purely for sanitary reasons. This one here sheds like a Golden Retriever."

Mr. Clemmons chose to ignore him, and began walking in the direction of the cafeteria. Logan and Veronica followed him, and he bent down to whisper in her ear. "Maybe we can take care of that Miss July shot you owe me."

She ignored him. "So how'd it go?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. We'll see, I guess. So are you going to tell me this mysterious case Clemmons has you working on?"

"I suppose I could do that," Veronica said slowly. She got a playful smile on her face and stopped walking. "But I thought you might be more interested in revisiting some of our old hotspots." She gestured to the girl's bathroom to their left, and pulled him down closer to her so she could whisper in his ear. "I may have, _accidentally_, forgotten to put on underwear this morning."

Without a word, Logan pushed her into the bathroom and kicked the door closed. He slid the wedge under the door with his foot while Veronica checked the stalls. When she walked back over to him, they could hear Clemmons calling out their names from outside. Veronica put her hand against her mouth, trying to suppress her laughter. Logan spun her around and pressed her up against the door, covering her mouth with his. As he ran his hand up her thigh, her giggles quickly turned to airy moans.

**xxXxx**

Veronica

"How do we always seem to end up back here?" Veronica asked, stretching her legs out in front of her and reaching her arms towards the ceiling.

"Because the couch we ordered hasn't been delivered yet?" Logan suggested, biting her earlobe. "Although I think we've been pretty creative, under the circumstances."

"Maybe a little _too_ creative." Veronica grimaced, remembering the cold tile of the kitchen floor. She flipped over onto her side and pulled the soft blanket up to her chin. "I know it's probably boring, but the bed is definitely the most comfortable option."

"Oh, it's _never_ boring," he disagreed. "But I happen to know you like it when there's a chance we might get caught."

She bit her lip, but didn't deny it. He grinned and darted forward to kiss her on the lips, before getting up quickly. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"We're still going over to the campus, right? If so, I need a shower." Logan wrapped a towel around his waist and smirked at her. "I need to look my best, if I want my charms to work on Vikki."

Veronica frowned. "I'm not sure I'm loving this plan."

He grinned and sat back down next to her. "It was _your_ idea," he reminded her. "C'mon, it's just a little harmless flirting. Don't you want to have at least one class together this semester?"

"Yes," she said grudgingly, looking down.

Logan cupped her chin in his hands and lifted it gently, so that she'd look into his eyes. "You know the only reason I flirted with her in the first place was so that I could get a copy of your schedule. Right?"

Veronica did know that; well, based on what Mac had told her, she'd assumed it. But she did have some doubts. _I _always_ have some doubts, when it comes to Logan and other women. _She was working through it every day, but it was a struggle. Every time a pretty waitress was assigned to their table, every time she saw another woman running her eyes down his body as they walked down the street, she got instantly defensive.

She glanced up at him. "So nothing ever happened between you two?"

"Not a thing," Logan assured her. He gave her a satisfied smile and moved closer. "You are so fucking adorable when you're jealous."

"I'm glad one of us thinks so," she grumbled.

He chuckled and touched her cheek lightly. "Hey, it's not like I don't get jealous too."

She looked up at him, and noticed something in his eyes; a guardedness that she'd seen on a few occasions, over the last couple of weeks. Veronica had a feeling she knew what it was about, but she still didn't feel ready to tackle that particular issue. She was just about to change the subject when Logan spoke up.

"Veronica, we have to talk about this sooner or later."

"Talk about what?" she asked innocently, wrapping the blanket more tightly around herself.

"Piz."

"Logan," she said warningly, rolling onto her back. "I thought we were going to steer clear of talking about past relationships."

"Don't think I don't appreciate the irony, but I think you're wrong," he replied softly.

She glanced up at him. He wasn't looking at her either, and she hated the sudden wall that had arisen between them. She just wanted it to go back to the way it had been between them a few minutes ago. "Why do you want to talk about him at all?" she asked desperately.

"Because school is starting up in a week, and he's gonna be there. Whether I like it or not. And I have no idea what to expect."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked sharply.

"It means-" Logan stopped and looked down at her. "Are you sure that what you guys had wasn't-"

"_No_," she interrupted him forcefully. "Not even close." Veronica sat up and turned towards him, touching his arm tentatively. "He and I should never have tried to be more than friends. We didn't work as a couple."

"So why'd you get together with him in the first place?" he demanded.

"Why'd you get together with Parker?" she returned hotly, pulling her hand away.

They glared at each other for a moment. "Because I fucking missed you, okay?" Logan finally replied. "Is that what you want to hear?"

"Yes," she admitted. "But only if it's the truth."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Oh, give me a break," he replied shortly. "You know it is."

Veronica relaxed slightly. She hadn't known that, not really. She shook her head. "Do you know how much it sucked, going to her birthday party? Going back to your suite for the first time since we'd broken up, and seeing you two all 'perfect little couple' together?"

"You think it sucked any less for me, watching you make out with Piz in my hallway?" he asked angrily.

Veronica didn't answer right away. The conversation was getting away from them; they were both in attack mode, and that's when things got ugly. She took a deep breath. "I wasn't happy with him," she said quietly.

"You looked pretty damn happy to me," he muttered.

"I only kissed him because I missed you, you jackass," she snapped.

Logan didn't say anything, and Veronica sighed in frustration. She realized that she'd made this mess, and she needed to clean it up. But she hated the way he was avoiding her eyes. "Logan," she said softly. "I was in love with you the whole time."

He finally looked at her, then, and she forced herself to hold his gaze. Logan's expression softened slightly. "So why'd you stay with him for so long?"

"Because I was an idiot," she answered simply. "I convinced myself that it could never work between you and I. And then I convinced myself that my feelings toward him would change, if I gave it enough time."

"But you must have had _some_ feelings towards him," Logan said stubbornly.

"I cared about him. I still do." Veronica saw Logan's jaw clench with anger, and she reached out quickly and grabbed his arm. "As a _friend_," she clarified. "And I'd like to stay friends with him. But only if you're okay with it. If it makes you too uncomfortable, I'll let it go. _You're_ always going to be my priority, Logan. No other guy has ever come close to you." She smiled wryly, remembering his words from long ago. "What you and I have is… epic."

He gave her a strange look, but didn't move away. "That's an interesting choice of words," he finally said. Logan stood up and walked over to his closet. He opened the door, and Veronica could hear him rustling around inside. When he finally emerged, he held several sheets of paper in his hands. He tossed the papers onto her lap. "I'll be in the shower."

She couldn't decipher the look on his face as he walked away. Veronica glanced down, picking up the top piece of paper and looking at it more closely. It was Logan's final exam for their Lit class. He'd gotten an "A". _Does this have to do with our bet?_

Veronica began to read his essays. Like her, he'd opted to write about both _The Scarlet Letter_ and _Wuthering Heights_. But for his last essay, he'd chosen to tackle one of the broader topics they'd been allowed to choose from: an analysis of one of the recurring themes in Romantic literature. Logan had written about love.

She read through it quickly. Like his _Silent Noon_ essay, it was well-written and thoughtful; she was impressed, and she had to admit that it was better than her own. But when she got to the last line, her breath hitched and she smiled to herself. Veronica got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. She opened up the glass door and stepped over the threshold into the large tiled shower.

Logan was facing away from her. Veronica closed the door quietly behind her and crept up behind him. Then she slipped her arms around his soapy body, tilting her head upward and nibbling on his ear lobe. "'No one writes about the ones that come easily'," she quoted in a whisper. "I thought you didn't remember?"

He turned in her arms and smiled down at her, running his slick hands across her back. "I'm always a little groggy when I first wake up," he reminded her. "I remembered just as the elevator doors closed behind you. How's that for epic?" Veronica just shook her head at him, and his smile turned sly. "Did you happen to see the shiny red 'A'?"

"I did."

"And what did _you_ get?"

"An A minus," she admitted grudgingly. "But in my defense, I was a little distracted that day."

"Hmm," he said, pulling her under the hot stream of water. "And what was distracting you?"

"You know what was distracting me," she replied, closing her eyes. The combination of the steam and the heat of his hard body pressed against her was making her dizzy. She clung to him as he slowly explored her body with his hands.

"I want to hear you say it," he whispered.

The stubborn side of her wanted to deny him; but the fact of the matter was, she was powerless when he got like this. He was the only man she'd ever completely dropped her guard with; and the combination of panic and elated anticipation that he alone brought out in her always made her heart race. _And he knows it._ "You," she finally replied shakily.

The intensity in his eyes at her honest response made the panicked part fade away. They reached out for each other at the same time. Logan's hands tangled in her wet hair and hers curled around his waist tightly. Veronica shivered, despite the heat, and the movement of her body only seemed to spur him on more. He kissed her passionately, desperately, until they were both breathless. "I won the bet," he said roughly, walking her forward until her back was pressed up against the tiled wall of the shower. "And I know what I want."

Veronica would never admit that she loved it when he took charge; even though she was certain that he already knew. And she would never tell him what she'd finally discovered about him. _That he needs assurances about my feelings for him just as much as I do._ She knew their recent argument was fresh in his mind, and that it would take some time before he was truly convinced that she'd never loved Piz. She smiled to herself as Logan continued to run his hands along her body possessively, closing her eyes at the sensations that traveled just below the surface of her skin. _And I'm going to enjoy every second of proving it to him. _

**xxXxx**

"Can I look yet?"

"Almost… Take a little step forward. Okay, open your eyes."

Veronica's eyes snapped open; as she'd suspected, Logan had led her out onto his back patio. She glanced around and smiled up at him. "You got furniture."

"Yup. I thought I'd make us dinner on the grill tonight."

She gave him a skeptical look. "Do you even know how to_ use_ a grill?"

Logan rolled his eyes at her. "Yes. I think I can handle turning a knob and flipping a couple of burgers. Have a little faith in me."

She grinned and walked forward, sinking down into one of the new chairs. "Nice and comfy. Well done."

"Why thank you." He took the seat next to her. "Dick actually helped, if you can believe it."

"Well, he _has_ spent a good portion of his life poolside," Veronica replied dryly. "I imagine he's gotten very familiar with patio furniture, over the years." She glanced around. "Where is he, anyway? I haven't seen him all day."

"I told him to make himself scarce today."

"You didn't have to do that," Veronica said quietly. "I really am okay with him living here, Logan."

"Good," Logan smiled. "But… well it's the last day of break. I wanted to spend it alone with you. Once school starts, we won't be able to see each other as much."

He was doing a good job of hiding his emotions, but Veronica knew what he was thinking about; she was thinking about it too. After much discussion, they'd decided to hold off on moving in together. It had been Logan's idea. Things had been going so well between him and Keith, over the last few weeks, and he was worried about ruining it. But he seemed increasingly concerned that his relationship with Veronica may suffer because of the time apart.

Veronica scooted her chair closer to his and put her hand on his arm. "It won't be so bad. I'm only taking fifteen credits this semester. And I'm not going to get involved in any new cases." Logan shot her a look of amused disbelief, and she decided to rephrase that. "Okay. I'm going to _try_ not to get involved in any new cases. Besides," she reminded him, "we have 'Modern Fantasy' with Professor Jayne together. So at the very least, we'll see each other twice a week."

Although she was joking, Logan frowned. She squeezed his arm. "Logan, I _promise _it won't be the way it was last time. We'll figure out a way to spend more time together."

He searched her eyes for a moment, and then nodded. "Okay," he said. "We'll try it your way. But if it doesn't work out, you know what has to happen."

"Collared chains and gold bikinis?" she guessed.

"Precisely," Logan grinned. But then his face became serious again, and he cleared his throat. "So I appreciate you not asking me about it, but I know I need to declare a major."

Veronica had been dying to ask him, but she hadn't wanted to push. "Did you decide?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. I've been thinking about it a lot."

"Well… what classes do you like the most?" she asked objectively.

"Believe it or not, I was kind of digging our Lit class," he told her. "I was thinking, next semester, maybe I'll sign up for more English classes." He hesitated. "Maybe a writing class, too."

Veronica looked at him proudly. "I think that's a really good idea." She gave him a wry smile. "I stole your _Silent Noon_ essay. I know you know that."

"I suspected," he smiled, leaning forward to kiss her on the lips. "It was about you, of course. That day we spent at the park. I know you know _that_."

She grinned. "I suspected."

"And what did you think?" he asked a bit shyly.

"It was awesome," she replied honestly. "You can really write."

"Thanks," he said, seeming genuinely surprised. He smiled at her, and then looked out at the ocean. She watched him in silence for a moment. Logan took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he exhaled. When he opened his eyes again, he looked over at her. "It feels good to have a home. Finally."

"It must have been really tough living in a hotel like that," she said sympathetically.

"No, that's not what I mean. Not exactly." Logan turned his chair so that he was facing her fully, his knees touching hers. He leaned forward and took both of her hands in his. "I mean… it's home because I'm with you. _You_ make it a home."

Veronica stared up at him, speechless and genuinely touched. She realized that she understood exactly what he meant. She'd spent so many years searching for something to fill the void she'd felt after Lilly died; after her mother left. _But it's been in front of me the whole time._ She reached forward and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you," she said emphatically.

Logan pulled her into his lap, kissing her on the forehead. "Love doesn't seem like a strong enough word for the way I feel about you."

"I know what you mean," she agreed, resting her head against his shoulder. "Maybe that's because people over-use it. They say it when they don't mean it."

"You don't do that, do you?" he asked softly.

"Obviously," she replied sheepishly. "In fact, the argument _could_ be made that I under-use the word."

She could feel Logan's lips forming into a smile against her forehead. "_You?" _he asked in mock disbelief. "No."

"Shocking, isn't it? The rumors people spread about me?" Veronica teased.

Logan didn't say anything for several moments, only pulling her closer to him. She was just about to ask him if he was getting hungry when he spoke up. "I'm sorry," he said in a whisper, his lips brushing against her temple. "I'm so sorry that I put you through that."

His apology took Veronica by surprise; she hadn't meant to make him feel bad. But her dismissive, joking response got caught in her throat. Instead, she found herself silently considering everything they'd been through together- both the good and the bad. _Yes, the bad parts were very bad. But the good parts are... indescribable. _"I know you are," she said softly, looking up into his eyes. "And I really do forgive you." She smiled. "You know, it's always a rough road for the great ones. Han and Leia. Harold and Maude…"

"Alabama and Clarence," he added. "Maude and the Dude."

"Indy and Marion; Felicity and Ben."

"Hicks and Ripley; Kyle Reese and Sarah Conner."

"Jim and Pam; Starbuck and Apollo."

He squeezed her and kissed her lips lightly. "We put them all to shame."

"That we do," she agreed. They sat like that for a long time, listening to the ocean and enjoying the silence. Veronica considered what Logan had said about home, and it led to thoughts about her own family. But it wasn't just her father that came to mind, anymore. _It's Wallace, Alicia, Darrell. Mac, Duncan, Lilly…even Dick. They're all family. Blood has nothing to do with it._ _And Logan…_

She glanced back at Logan. His eyes were closed again, a slight smile on his lips as he ran his fingers up and down her arm. His other arm was curled around her waist snugly, making sure that she didn't fall.

Logan would always be where she belonged.

**A/N Thanks for reading! If you like what you've read, please click on that little button that says "review" and let me know :)**

**I also love it when people favorite! It makes me giddy with joy.**

**As I've said, there will be an epilogue. The rest of the loose ends will be tied up in that chapter, so if you're concerned that I've forgotten something, fear not. I know I don't usually give anything away about upcoming chapters, but I will say this- we've had a lot of angst, and now it's time for a party! I don't know about you guys, but things wouldn't feel quite right for me if we didn't get to hear from Dick at least one more time. I know I've missed writing him… **

**I've been accused of not being a romantic. I think the above chapter dispels that myth ;) I sincerely hope that you all enjoyed it, and that it was worth the wait.**

**xxXxx**

**ETA 3/10/12- After re-reading and editing this story, I'm wondering if it even needs an epilogue? This feels like a good ending, and I don't want to ruin it. Maybe it's okay to have some loose ends. Thoughts? (Feel free to PM me if you can't review because you've already reviewed this chapter.) **

**Thanks again for reading! And thank you to all of the new reviewers who didn't catch version 1.0. It's been great reading your thoughts on the re-write. Your encouraging words gave me the push I needed to finally get this edit finished. Woohoo!**


	20. Epilogue, Part I

**Epilogue, Part I**

_This chapter has been temporarily pulled by the author for editing._


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